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Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast

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Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: It's not even a new segment any longer, and in fact,

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Speaker 2: we've been doing it for a few months now. It's

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Speaker 2: a segment we really appreciate and enjoy. We love hearing

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Speaker 2: from all of you, and we love hearing your questions

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Speaker 2: where your life is at. These questions have I'm not

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Speaker 2: going to say they've been outrageous, because I think a

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Speaker 2: lot of us are dealing with something similar to the

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Speaker 2: questions that we've been answering. Life is complex and it

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Speaker 2: has ups and downs. It's not always you know, pretty

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Speaker 2: imperfect and write down a narrow line.

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Speaker 3: Life is full.

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Speaker 2: Of twists and turns, and sometimes we find ourselves in

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Speaker 2: situations that we don't even know how he got there

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Speaker 2: or how to get out of them. Well, that's what

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Speaker 2: the Almost Good Advice episode is all about, and today

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Speaker 2: we do have some questions that we want to answer

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Speaker 2: from all of you. Ashley take it away with Stacy.

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Speaker 4: Alrighty Stacy says, I think giving flowers to someone is

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Speaker 4: such a sweet jess, But in my twenty six years

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Speaker 4: of life, I've never once received flowers from a man.

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Speaker 4: Even after saying to one of my exes that would

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Speaker 4: like to receive some flowers one day. They never got

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Speaker 4: me flowers, and it just makes me so sad because

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Speaker 4: I don't feel like I'm expecting something impossible. Sometimes I

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Speaker 4: buy flowers for myself, but once in a while it

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Speaker 4: would feel nice if someone would show me some kind

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Speaker 4: sweet gesture. Do I tell my next partner that I

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Speaker 4: appreciate little things like buying me flowers?

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Speaker 5: Well?

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Speaker 4: I mean, do we quote Miley Cyrus here? You already

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Speaker 4: take her advice? You already buy yourself flowers? No, I

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Speaker 4: don't think so, not initially. I mean this is a

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Speaker 4: far off question, being that I think that you're single

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Speaker 4: right now. I think that you do you date this person,

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Speaker 4: your future lover for a little bit, see if he

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Speaker 4: buys you flowers, and if not, you can gently suggest

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Speaker 4: that it's something that would make you feel really special.

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Speaker 6: I don't know, like six months in or something like that.

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Speaker 6: I'm sure that, like when you're in the first dating stages,

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Speaker 6: you can like drop hints. You can be like, oh,

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Speaker 6: those are so pretty, Oh, I love flowers Like nothing

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Speaker 6: says like I'm definitely like a You can you can

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Speaker 6: tell them that you are a gifts person when it

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Speaker 6: comes to your love language and that you think that

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Speaker 6: flowers are just a nice sweet gesture. But like you

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Speaker 6: don't have to say, like I would love it if

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Speaker 6: you'd buy me flowers. There's plenty of ways you can

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Speaker 6: allude to it, you know.

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Speaker 2: It's interesting. Jessica is a gift person. She likes the

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Speaker 2: gift gifts and received gifts. It's what she how she

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Speaker 2: feels loved. It's hard. It's getting harder and harder to

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Speaker 2: get her gifts considering you know, she works in skincare

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Speaker 2: and she gets a lot of skincare you know, already sent,

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Speaker 2: and she has a great job and when she needs

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Speaker 2: something she gets it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's harder and harder to get creative. I grew

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Speaker 2: up in a family is not gift givers or receivers.

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Speaker 2: We did not really do Christmas gifts or birthday gifts.

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Speaker 2: I am very much a fan of simplicity. I've had

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Speaker 2: the same clothes really since high school college. Like, I

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Speaker 2: don't go get new clothes, I don't get new boots.

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Speaker 2: I spend my money on golf pretty much, is like

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Speaker 2: my main expense at this point in my life. So

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Speaker 2: we are two very I'm going about this to say,

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Speaker 2: we are two very different people, my wife and I.

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Speaker 5: Well, what does she get you? What do you get her?

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Speaker 2: Like in the past, I've gotten her a really nice

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Speaker 2: necklace that she wanted for her birthday. We've gone on

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Speaker 2: some trips now are starting to do experiences more, which

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Speaker 2: I think is really cool and it's a good in

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Speaker 2: between for us. And so we do date nights. We have,

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Speaker 2: you know, obviously taken trips together. It could just be

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Speaker 2: because Jess and I run such different schedules. Oftentimes it's

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Speaker 2: scheduling out a day that we're just going to do

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Speaker 2: this together and we're going to treat it as a

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Speaker 2: gift to each other because we enjoy our time together

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Speaker 2: and we enjoy getting to spend time together. I will say, oh, geez,

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Speaker 2: she's giving me the thumbs up. I will say this,

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Speaker 2: she does like flowers. Okay, so let's go to this

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Speaker 2: question of Stacy without drawing this out too long. She

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Speaker 2: does like receiving flowers. The difficulty is how often, Stacy,

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Speaker 2: do you want these flowers? Because once once is a

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Speaker 2: big deal, twice is a huge deal. But you I

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Speaker 2: don't think you should ever let yourself no matter who

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Speaker 2: you are and what we're talking about, flowers, jewelry, whatever

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Speaker 2: become expectant. These always have to be a very grateful moment,

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Speaker 2: one that is a surprise, I think, one that is

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Speaker 2: very special, one that's saying, hey, I just thought of

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Speaker 2: you today in this moment. And so stacy, never get

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Speaker 2: to where these gifts are expected, or to where you're

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Speaker 2: disappointed when a gift doesn't match your expectation of what

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Speaker 2: a gift should be and feel like, because then that

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Speaker 2: puts so much pressure on the other human. My whole

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Speaker 2: talk about you know, my wife having you know, the

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Speaker 2: skins care stuff that she cares about and that's her job,

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Speaker 2: and so she gets all this good skincare. That'd be

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Speaker 2: a great gift for me to give her a very

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Speaker 2: easy gift. I can't get her skincare because she gets

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Speaker 2: it herself.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: All the time is that it becomes you never want

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Speaker 2: your partner to become burdened with the idea that I've

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Speaker 2: got to get my partner something because if not, they're

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Speaker 2: going to be disappointed. I think that is a very

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Speaker 2: unhealthy place to get to in a relationship. Instead, the

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Speaker 2: gift should always be I want to get my partner

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Speaker 2: something because I want them to know I'm thinking about them.

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Speaker 2: If that's once a year, twice year, three times a year,

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Speaker 2: whatever it is.

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Speaker 4: I was gonna say two or three times a year

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Speaker 4: would be a nice surprise, sure for me personally, hint, hint,

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Speaker 4: And Jared And the one thing that when I go

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Speaker 4: down like a like a marriage rabbit hole, I'm like,

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Speaker 4: can I think about the things that we could be

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Speaker 4: doing for each other?

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Speaker 5: I'll be like, why doesn't he just get me flowers?

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Speaker 4: It's the easiest thing ever, Like I don't even care

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Speaker 4: if like CBS flowers or grocery store flowers, Like would

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Speaker 4: it be nice if you just like came home one

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Speaker 4: day and like passed by the grocery store and just

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Speaker 4: whipped in.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, It's very simple, Which is why I think, like

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Speaker 4: that's why we have to fight those thoughts.

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Speaker 2: You can never get your mind in a place of

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Speaker 2: why aren't they If you have those feelings, you could

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Speaker 2: ask them in a different way. But if it's if

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Speaker 2: you let your mind in a relationship get to why

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Speaker 2: aren't they doing this? You could do that with a

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Speaker 2: billion things every day of your life. Why aren't they

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Speaker 2: doing this? Why aren't they doing this? Why aren't so

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Speaker 2: stacey to bring it up to a partner. One of

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Speaker 2: the best things for me with my wife is when

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Speaker 2: she says, hey, you know what I would really like

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Speaker 2: and she tells me, and then I might not do

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Speaker 2: it tomorrow because that feels like I'm just doing whatever

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Speaker 2: she's told me to. I want to do it in

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Speaker 2: two days, three days, whatever. It just knows that I

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Speaker 2: hear her, I appreciate her, I'm responding to what she

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Speaker 2: said she wants, and so make it easier on your partner.

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Speaker 2: Don't throw a bunch of hints out there and expect

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Speaker 2: them to pick up on it. Honest, halftime, most of

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Speaker 2: my buddies that I know we would never get the hints.

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Speaker 2: We would never hear the hints, we'd never understand the hints.

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Speaker 2: So it might just be you know what I really

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Speaker 2: love in a relationship. I don't want the fanciest stuff.

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Speaker 2: What I would really like sometimes is when you're thinking

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Speaker 2: to me, I love flowers. Great right now, yesterday you

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Speaker 2: know what I did, Ashley Wale and I went outside

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Speaker 2: and we trimmed up some bushes and there's this really

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Speaker 2: pretty flower bush that we have in our yard, and

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Speaker 2: I trimmed it up and made it all nice. The

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Speaker 2: flowers are smelling so good. And I cut some evergreen,

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Speaker 2: trimmed some evergreen bushes, and I took that and put

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Speaker 2: it in a vase. Because when Jess got home last

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Speaker 2: night she was traveling, we had this on the table

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Speaker 2: and I said, hey, your dog and I we thought

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Speaker 2: of you today.

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Speaker 4: And Ben, you just happened to do this yesterday and

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Speaker 4: you're just now bringing it up.

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Speaker 5: This is so sweet.

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Speaker 2: But I thought of her, and we wanted to make

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Speaker 2: sure she saw that we were thinking of her even

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Speaker 2: when she was gone.

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Speaker 3: It can be as simple as that. Anyways. The next

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Speaker 3: question is from a.

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Speaker 4: Non anonymous I've been seeing someone for nearly two months now,

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Speaker 4: and I have not discussed dating goals, are really anything serious.

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Speaker 4: It has been very casual and we see each other

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Speaker 4: about once a week. I like him, and I could

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Speaker 4: see things potentially getting more serious, but I'm not sure

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Speaker 4: if they will. I got married and divorce really young.

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Speaker 4: Married at twenty one, separated twenty two, divorced by twenty three.

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Speaker 4: It's not that I'm worried that he would particularly care

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Speaker 4: or if this would be a deal breaker. I just

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Speaker 4: don't know how slash when to bring it up. And

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Speaker 4: we haven't talked about our past, our, past relationships, future goals.

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Speaker 5: What do you think I should do?

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Speaker 4: Well, it sounds really casual if you aren't talking about

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Speaker 4: the past at all or any past relationships or any

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Speaker 4: future goals. You guys just talking about like movies and

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Speaker 4: really sort of stuff.

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Speaker 3: What's your favorite color?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like you you've been dating him and he does

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Speaker 4: for two months and he doesn't know that you've been

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Speaker 4: married before.

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if it's going to get more serious

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Speaker 4: then I guess I think it's probably if you want

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Speaker 4: it to get more serious, this is probably the time

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Speaker 4: to bring up this your past relationship. See how he

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Speaker 4: takes it and if anything, you know, even if he

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Speaker 4: doesn't take it well, like it doesn't well, I don't

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Speaker 4: know why you wouldn't take it well. But at least

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Speaker 4: it's opening the door to more serious conversations, and then

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Speaker 4: you can see how you are in serious conversations, because

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Speaker 4: I think at two months you are ready to take

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Speaker 4: the next step in the depth of conversation. And I

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Speaker 4: don't think like you have to make it a big

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Speaker 4: deal as to when you do it just like next

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Speaker 4: time you're hanging out, you'd be like, so, I haven't

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Speaker 4: told you this yet, but I was actually married at

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Speaker 4: twenty one. It should be honestly that simple. This isn't

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Speaker 4: the bachelor. You don't have to wait to the nighttime

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Speaker 4: portion of the date. You don't if it would wait

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Speaker 4: to the one on one.

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Speaker 2: It's just weird to me that your partner is not

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Speaker 2: asking you questions. I mean it is casual two months though,

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Speaker 2: as Ashley said, it could still be casual.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: Are you seeing each other weekly? Have you seen each

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Speaker 4: other bi weekly? Have you been on like four dates?

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Speaker 4: Even by four dates, I would think that you'd be

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Speaker 4: talking a little bit about this stuff well.

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Speaker 2: And one of my favorite parts about dating and dating

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Speaker 2: my wife is the ability to become curious about somebody

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Speaker 2: else's story, like that, if you're not doing that, what

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Speaker 2: else are you doing?

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Speaker 3: Are you just talking about movies?

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Speaker 5: Are you just boring right now?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Being physical?

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Speaker 2: Like, one of the cool parts about dating in general

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Speaker 2: is you have this one on one time with this

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Speaker 2: other person. You're sharing space with him, you're sharing time

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Speaker 2: with them, you are investing into who they are as

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Speaker 2: a person, not even necessarily to figure out if, like, hey,

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Speaker 2: you're you and I are going to be romantic for

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Speaker 2: the rest of our lives. It's mostly for the fun

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Speaker 2: part is the curiosity of I get to meet a

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Speaker 2: bunch of cool people and maybe some of them will work,

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Speaker 2: maybe some of them won't. But why aren't you asking

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Speaker 2: these questions? And maybe here be the idea you. I

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Speaker 2: feel like this is it should not be a deal

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Speaker 2: breaker to some Maybe it is. I don't know anybody

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Speaker 2: in my life that would be like, it's a deal

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Speaker 2: breaker if you've been in a past relationship and it

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Speaker 2: didn't go right, or I think there's questions there of

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Speaker 2: like what didn't work for you? What are you looking

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Speaker 2: for now? What have you learned from that? To hear

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Speaker 2: if maybe the two of you are aligning on, you know,

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Speaker 2: your future relationship goals, but maybe you need to start

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Speaker 2: the conversation and ask them, Hey, tell me about your

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Speaker 2: dating past. I want to know about it, you know it.

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Speaker 2: It was something honestly in my relationship. I had to

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Speaker 2: push a little bit because my dating past is weird, right,

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Speaker 2: Like I was on national television dating and so it

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Speaker 2: was like this awkward how much do we talk bachelor.

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Speaker 2: How much do we not talk bachelor? But it is

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Speaker 2: a big part of my story, and that part of

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Speaker 2: my story helps me make sense as I get older, right,

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Speaker 2: And so you have to ask about these things.

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Speaker 3: And so my.

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Speaker 2: Advice here would be maybe you bring it up first

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Speaker 2: to show that you have the curiosity, the care and

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Speaker 2: also the confidence yourself and in this dating relationship to

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Speaker 2: where if he tells you, yeah, you know what, I've

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Speaker 2: been married before, I was in love once, that you

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Speaker 2: have the strength to know, hey, we can still make

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Speaker 2: this work even with that, like that that might be

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Speaker 2: a piece of your story, but like I you know,

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Speaker 2: you can still make it work. There has to be

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Speaker 2: that vulnerability at some point to know that you can

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Speaker 2: be yourself, that you can share about past relationships with

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Speaker 2: your now partner and the two of you can grow

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Speaker 2: together knowing you know the backstory, you have to ask

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Speaker 2: h So bring it up.

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Speaker 3: I would say, bring it up.

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Speaker 2: Two months is plenty of time, goodness gracious, Like, there's

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Speaker 2: been dates I've been on where in the first thing,

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Speaker 2: it's like, hey, you know what, Like you're new to Denver.

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Speaker 3: Have you been dating? Have you ma anybody cool? Like

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Speaker 3: what have you learned?

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Speaker 2: About the people of Denver, Like, those questions are not

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Speaker 2: weird questions, They're just questions you asking you dating.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, totally, Okay, Let's go on.

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Speaker 3: To Lauren's question final question of the day.

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Speaker 5: I'm single for the first time as an adult.

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Speaker 4: My eight year relationship ended early this year, and I'm

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Speaker 4: feeling okay and optimistic enough to try.

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Speaker 5: To start dating.

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Speaker 4: What advice would you give someone you care about if

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Speaker 4: they were in my shoes? As someone who has literally

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Speaker 4: only kissed two people as a teen and physically only

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Speaker 4: ever been with one, I'm very intimidated.

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Speaker 5: Obviously I can relate to this. I was I felt like.

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Speaker 4: Dating well, okay, so dating in my early twenties was

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Speaker 4: definitely super intimidating because of my lack of experience. And

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Speaker 4: you're like, you just get further and further down the

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Speaker 4: hole because you're scared to date because then there's gonna

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Speaker 4: be like a chance for like the physicality, Like how

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Speaker 4: do you do you stop it? Do you what do

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Speaker 4: you get regret it? Are you not gonna regret it?

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Speaker 4: You know, it's just do you like how are you

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Speaker 4: gonna be awkward? I think that's the major concern is

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Speaker 4: like you're gonna be awkward. Are you going to tell

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Speaker 4: the person that you're not very verse in this stuff?

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Speaker 4: And then like, are you gonna be in the middle

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Speaker 4: of like hooking up with somebody and then you're gonna

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Speaker 4: be like, oh, I guess what, I'm a virgin or

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Speaker 4: are they going to know your virgin?

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Speaker 5: And well you're not.

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Speaker 4: But like, you know what I mean, you're inexperienced. But

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Speaker 4: I will tell you that because you've gotten over that hurdle,

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Speaker 4: it's going to be a lot less awkward than it

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Speaker 4: was for me. And then once I went on the show,

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Speaker 4: and everything kind of got a lot easier for me

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Speaker 4: because everybody knew it, and if they didn't know it,

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Speaker 4: it was just easier for me to talk about because

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Speaker 4: once you talk about it on national TV, you can

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Speaker 4: pretty much talk about it to anyone. So, like, I

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Speaker 4: get where you're coming from. I feel you, But like

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Speaker 4: I think that when in your case, being that you

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Speaker 4: have had a little experience, you will you will, It'll

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Speaker 4: be natural and you'll.

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Speaker 5: Be fine when you are with the right person. Bad

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Speaker 5: any advice.

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Speaker 2: There, I mean, you spoke to everything from experience. I

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Speaker 2: can never you know, speak any further into what you

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Speaker 2: just said there. What I will say, Lauren, probably what

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Speaker 2: I I don't know if you need to hear this

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Speaker 2: or not, is start dating, go on bad dates, go

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Speaker 2: on good dates.

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Speaker 3: People. We all have bad dates.

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Speaker 2: We all have dates where we show up and we're

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Speaker 2: awkward and we say something that throws the whole thing off,

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Speaker 2: and then the two of you, you know, leave the

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Speaker 2: dinner and you're like, hey, this was fine, but we're

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Speaker 2: not going to see each other again.

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Speaker 3: That happens.

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Speaker 2: And I think in today's society, especially on social media,

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Speaker 2: we see all these people and they're perfect scenarios, and

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Speaker 2: they feel so smooth, and they seem so beautiful, and

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Speaker 2: they seem like they have it all together.

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Speaker 3: I'll be honest, it's not true.

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Speaker 2: At any level. Every human has been on bad dates.

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Speaker 2: They will be on more bad dates. I've been on

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Speaker 2: bad dates with my wife where I've said something stupid

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Speaker 2: on a date and we've been like, oh goodness, right.

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Speaker 4: Dates do exist where like you just like kind of

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Speaker 4: don't ever like get in the groove of like conversation and.

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Speaker 3: You're like this is weird.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know, I don't have anything to talk

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Speaker 5: to you about.

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Speaker 2: You want to go and watch a movie or like

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Speaker 2: you mad at me for you want to be mad

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Speaker 2: at me for.

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Speaker 3: A little bit? Is that cool? Like the that happens?

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Speaker 3: So start dating?

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Speaker 2: Uh, because I think you kind of get in the

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Speaker 2: practice in a flow of dating and you get stories

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Speaker 2: from dating.

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Speaker 3: Uh get thrown out there. And the other piece of

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Speaker 3: this is everybody.

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Speaker 2: I know, no matter how smooth, no matter how successful,

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Speaker 2: no matter how good looking, no matter how experience, whatever,

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Speaker 2: everybody I know has been intimidated by going on dates.

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Speaker 2: So you're not alone. My message to you is you

361
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Speaker 2: are not alone. Everybody else is feeling the same way.

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Speaker 2: Probably the person that you're going to go on a

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Speaker 2: date with next is gonna be intimidated to go on

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Speaker 2: this date with you. At some level, there's nerves, there's anxieties.

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Speaker 2: That's also a piece that makes it fun because you

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Speaker 2: know what those that season leaves at some level where

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Speaker 2: you're not as nervous to go on a date with

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Speaker 2: your partner of eight years. You know you're you're you're

369
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Speaker 2: more in a rhythm with them, you know you are

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Speaker 2: more comfortable with them. So accept the awkwardness, accept that yes,

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Speaker 2: everybody is intimidated, and know you aren't alone. As you

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Speaker 2: enter back out into this dating pool because everybody else

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Speaker 2: is in it with you.

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Speaker 3: There's there.

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Speaker 2: If people are going on dates, they're doing it to

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Speaker 2: try to meet somebody. And that is a very intimidating

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Speaker 2: idea that this could be the first last day of

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Speaker 2: your life. That's a heavy, heavy idea. So just get

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Speaker 2: out there and have fun with it, shake it up

380
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Speaker 2: a bit, and figure out what you're looking for. Again,

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Speaker 2: I'm sure you're a gift whoever is you're going to

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Speaker 2: be going on a date with, and they're going to

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Speaker 2: be a.

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Speaker 3: Gift to you hopefully too.

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Speaker 2: And to go back to our last conversation from Anonymous,

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Speaker 2: ask good questions, be curious going in these dates. That's

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Speaker 2: one way when I had a season of life, actually,

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Speaker 2: and then I'll end it here where I was, probably

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Speaker 2: in my early twenties was before the show. I had

390
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Speaker 2: stopped dating because I would get so nervous for these dates.

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Speaker 2: I would get so anxious for these dates that it

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Speaker 2: wasn't fun for me anymore. I was so intimidated by

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Speaker 2: going on dates. And I had a mentor of mine

394
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Speaker 2: at a time be like, well, you want to date

395
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Speaker 2: because you do want to find a partner.

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Speaker 3: How about you.

397
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Speaker 2: Just go with this strategy for a bit, ask them

398
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Speaker 2: all the questions that you want to know, right, Like,

399
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Speaker 2: maybe you don't go in there and try to talk

400
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,040
Speaker 2: about yourself. Maybe you just ask them questions, let them

401
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 2: talk for you until you, guys, get in a comfortable

402
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,520
Speaker 2: rhythm where you feel like you can start opening up

403
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,280
Speaker 2: or where you feel like you can start responding. But

404
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,240
Speaker 2: maybe the idea is, hey, take the weight off of

405
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Speaker 2: yourself by letting them talk on that first day, asking

406
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Speaker 2: them the questions that matter.

407
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Speaker 5: Oh, it's so easy to be the interviewer.

408
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Speaker 3: So easy to be the interview just ask about their dog.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

410
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Speaker 4: I also wanted to throw out there that, like, because

411
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Speaker 4: you've been in anate your relationship, you've been able to

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Speaker 4: be like very emotionally intimate with somebody, and sometimes that

413
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Speaker 4: can be even more intimidating. And you're current a little

414
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Speaker 4: concentrated on the physical right now, your experience and the

415
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,639
Speaker 4: emotional intimacy, and that gives you, like probably the upper

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Speaker 4: hand to a lot of people out in the dating

417
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Speaker 4: world today. A lot of people are inexperienced these days.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you think is easier the physical intimacy

419
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Speaker 2: and on talking sex here, I'm just talking like you know,

420
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Speaker 2: even holding hands, hugs, kisses, whatever, or emotional intimacy.

421
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,440
Speaker 4: I guess it depends on the stage of the relationship.

422
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 4: Probably probably emotional intimacy for me, just because like I

423
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Speaker 4: hate that whenever I have a serious conversation, I literally

424
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Speaker 4: am just crying.

425
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Speaker 5: I have to cry, like I cannot.

426
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Speaker 4: I can't stop myself, and I get really frustrated because

427
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,639
Speaker 4: then I can't say everything that I want to say,

428
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Speaker 4: and then like Jared'll get well, he's quite understanding at

429
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Speaker 4: this point, but like it's just not the ideal way

430
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Speaker 4: of communicating, of course, like as a thirty six year old,

431
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Speaker 4: and I'm just like I just really wi that I

432
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Speaker 4: could talk without.

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Speaker 3: We've talked about this.

434
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Speaker 2: My wife is a crier and she'll just cry and

435
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Speaker 2: I'll be and I'm not and I'm like I don't

436
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Speaker 2: and she's like, sometimes you just need to cry, and

437
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:10,920
Speaker 2: I'm like I don't get it, Like, are like what

438
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 2: if I cried?

439
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Speaker 3: It's a big deal, Like it is deep, it is heavy, it.

440
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Speaker 2: Is sometimes she's just crying, like sometimes she's just letting

441
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 2: it out there. I do want to bring in Kendall,

442
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,640
Speaker 2: who is one of our producers. She's feeling in this

443
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 2: week for Hannah. Kendall's younger than both of us, She's

444
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,359
Speaker 2: been in a serious relationship. Kendall, the same question is

445
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 2: asked to you. What is more difficult for you as

446
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 2: you started dating, the physical or emotional intimacy?

447
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 5: Oh?

448
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:43,399
Speaker 2: God, Ben, I think emotional for me, because I have

449
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,439
Speaker 2: a hard time expressing my feelings.

450
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,439
Speaker 5: It's easy to me.

451
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 2: I'm kind of like people joke, I'm the man of

452
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 2: the relationship.

453
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 5: So I think that was harder for me.

454
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,200
Speaker 3: That's fair. Seems like emotional definitely ways.

455
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,800
Speaker 5: So what about you, Ben? Yeah?

456
00:20:58,800 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 1: Ben?

457
00:20:59,640 --> 00:20:59,880
Speaker 4: Yeah?

458
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 3: What about me?

459
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 2: I'm a very emotional man, so emotion comes very easy

460
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,360
Speaker 2: and very quickly to me. My dad is a very

461
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:11,160
Speaker 2: emotional man. It comes very easy and very quickly to him.

462
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,120
Speaker 2: I think it's the physical piece that was it would

463
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 2: be the biggest hurdle for me, because for me, there's

464
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:24,200
Speaker 2: a lot of like insecurity, questions, concerns, you know, boundaries,

465
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 2: all that that has to like run through your head,

466
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,640
Speaker 2: and you know during those moments and it's like I

467
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,679
Speaker 2: didn't I think in my past I've led people on

468
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 2: and so for me, when I was dating my wife.

469
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 2: It was very intentional to not like push things farther

470
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 2: than where I felt like our relationship was. And sometimes

471
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,240
Speaker 2: it's a hard question to understand, is where exactly are

472
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 2: we until you know, you start to talk about the

473
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 2: future together. So I think for me, it's the physical you've.

474
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 5: Led people on because you're too physical too early.

475
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, you know.

476
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,879
Speaker 2: College is weird, Like you make out somebody at the

477
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 2: bar and all of a sudden, next day they're texting.

478
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:11,680
Speaker 5: You're like, oh no, And I have one more thing

479
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 5: to say.

480
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 4: While we're giving her advice about jumping into the dating

481
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:19,120
Speaker 4: pool again, Ben, I have a question for you. How

482
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 4: many dates do you think you should give somebody if

483
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 4: they're continuously asking you? Because my mom one time said three.

484
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 4: You know, my mom's always said do three, and I

485
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 4: think it should be two.

486
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 3: Like if you're not interested, yeah, like if.

487
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 4: They're fine, if they're good, they're fine. It was a

488
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 4: fine time because I made the mistake of doing three ones,

489
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,359
Speaker 4: and then I was suckered into going on four and

490
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 4: that was definitely crossing the line because I was asked

491
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 4: to go on the fourth eight while on the third.

492
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,439
Speaker 4: That really puts you in a sticky spot.

493
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know if I think two is fair.

494
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 2: I think three makes sense because it is kind of

495
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:03,720
Speaker 2: like three strikes you're out out kind of idea. When

496
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:08,440
Speaker 2: I was younger, I was really bad at this question

497
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 2: because I would I would date longer than we should,

498
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,040
Speaker 2: even if I wasn't into it, I would just say yes,

499
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 2: be out of guilt, you know whatever. And the show

500
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 2: really did a huge deal for me where it gave

501
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 2: me some confidence or it gave me perspective that being

502
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 2: honest and straightforward with each other as early as possible

503
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,920
Speaker 2: was the healthiest path for both of you. I had

504
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 2: friends that would go on dates with people they would

505
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 2: like stop dating them and they would still be friends,

506
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,920
Speaker 2: and that both people would talk very highly of them.

507
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 2: What ended up happening with me is I'd go on

508
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,919
Speaker 2: too many dates and then it would end kind of abruptly,

509
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 2: and then people would have really hurt feelings and a

510
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 2: really like jaded idea of me. And so what I

511
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:54,400
Speaker 2: learned later was the quicker, the better, be honest, be concise,

512
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 2: and be confident and just say hey, like you know,

513
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 2: this isn't me telling you I think you're about person.

514
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 2: We just aren't clicking or I'm just not clicking with you,

515
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 2: and so hey, this has been great, but we don't

516
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 2: need to hang out again. It's hard, it's awkward, there's

517
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,119
Speaker 2: no easy way to do it. It's definitely for me,

518
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 2: was the worst part of dating. But you you, I

519
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 2: think it is the quicker, the better kind of like

520
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 2: getting fired, you know, just be less. Words are better, quick, easy, simple,

521
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 2: get out.

522
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 5: Okay, Well, thank you for answering that interesting question.

523
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,359
Speaker 3: Right, it's you know what.

524
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 2: Almost good advice has been an absolute gift to us

525
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,160
Speaker 2: and hopefully to the listeners. We want to hear more

526
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 2: from you, so please email us at Ben and Ashley

527
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 2: at iHeartMedia dot com give us your questions. You can

528
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 2: also write them on to our Instagram page. If you

529
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:51,320
Speaker 2: just message us, we'll check there too. We'll continue to

530
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,920
Speaker 2: answer your questions, we'll continue to break down headlines, we'll

531
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,119
Speaker 2: continue to talk about Jen's upcoming season of the Bachelorette,

532
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 2: and we're going to bring on some interviews with past

533
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,159
Speaker 2: contestants and said, I think all of you will be

534
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 2: very excited about. So thank you for joining into the

535
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 2: Almost Famous podcast. Until next time, I've been Ben, I've.

536
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 5: Been Ashley see guys, thank you.

537
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on iHeartRadio,

538
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 1: or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.