Speaker 1: This episode of Busting with the Boys. The Boys is
Speaker 1: presented by Barstool Sports. There's no there's no commercializing to
Speaker 1: this thing. We just talking too the mics be for
Speaker 1: the boys, tell stories, and we do whatever we want
Speaker 1: because it's our podcast, you know what I'm saying. It's
Speaker 1: not like I think I think Russell Wilson has a podcast.
Speaker 1: It might be through the Seahawks. I know Kirk Cousins
Speaker 1: does it. I think it's through the Vikings. But like, yeah, bro,
Speaker 1: we do whatever we want on here. So there's no like,
Speaker 1: there's no stress or anything about nothing.
Speaker 2: I feel like there are a lot of podcasts that
Speaker 2: need to make people happy.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of podcasts or what.
Speaker 3: They need to make people happy, like with advertisements, and
Speaker 3: they gotta do a whole bunch of shit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just to stay.
Speaker 1: Right, Well, we'll have to do that, like we've been
Speaker 1: doing the whole advertising thing, like Barstools sends us like adreads, Hey,
Speaker 1: these are going to be your ad reads for the week,
Speaker 1: but we will record them separately because everything we do
Speaker 1: is backlogged, you know what I mean. So like your episode,
Speaker 1: we honestly have no idea when that might come out,
Speaker 1: and the time years rolls around, we won't do ad
Speaker 1: reads right now because it could be somebody different a
Speaker 1: month from now. So we just basically say, you know,
Speaker 1: we'll just find some segment where you'll slowly go off
Speaker 1: and then you'll hear our ad reads. And we've done adreades.
Speaker 1: I was in Arizona this last week with Taylor and
Speaker 1: we both did like different ad reads. Right. I've been
Speaker 1: in the well going back and forth with bloss and
Speaker 1: I'll be like, I did ad reads once where I
Speaker 1: was in I was in the closet of our hotel
Speaker 1: room before games the day before games to do ad reids,
Speaker 1: just because you know how quiet it has to be
Speaker 1: for like mics and stuff, and you'll get ad reads
Speaker 1: and boss but hey, we need to get these by
Speaker 1: X time. And I'll be like, all right, I'll get them.
Speaker 1: We'll like travel to our away game and I'll just
Speaker 1: be in the hotel room at like snack after snack,
Speaker 1: and I'll just like close myself in the closet and
Speaker 1: do like ad reads. You know, I don't know what
Speaker 1: all the recorders you have for everybody listening, Darren is
Speaker 1: actually in the you're in the music industry.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say that I make music because I like
Speaker 3: to make music. I don't consider myself part of the
Speaker 3: music industry. My music is on streaming platforms, but I
Speaker 3: don't think I'm part of an industry.
Speaker 1: When you say your music is on streaming platforms, what
Speaker 1: does that mean? Do you make beats? Do you rap?
Speaker 2: I make beats? I rap?
Speaker 3: Yeah, But by saying it's on streaming platforms, it's on
Speaker 3: Apple Music, it's on Spotify, it's on you Are anything
Speaker 3: you can stream it on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all of them shout it out. What do we got?
Speaker 3: We got better call Wall It came out on Christmas
Speaker 3: Day twenty seventeen.
Speaker 2: That was my first project.
Speaker 3: My second project I released on my birthday this past
Speaker 3: season in September, is called Wall Street. Go get both
Speaker 3: of those right now. Go get both of those right now.
Speaker 3: Videos on the way, visuals on the way. You already
Speaker 3: know time let's go.
Speaker 1: Hey, but this is what this is like a big
Speaker 1: reason why we want to bust with the boys. Obviously
Speaker 1: we're not like, hey, we need to have a platform
Speaker 1: for everybody to say their stuff, like we want to
Speaker 1: have our podcast, yeah, but we wanted people to come
Speaker 1: on whatever they have going on we pub it because
Speaker 1: we're for the fucking boys, right, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: cursing whatever we gotta say. Dude, this is a platform
Speaker 1: that's like exactly like I didn't know you had all
Speaker 1: that going on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, like you say about the road trips,
Speaker 3: like that's when I was most productive. Like the whole
Speaker 3: flight to anywhere, I'm making beats the whole time, or
Speaker 3: writing something averse to a song. We get to the room,
Speaker 3: I'm making beats in my room after snack. I almost
Speaker 3: missed the bus to the game. On road games multiple times,
Speaker 3: I'm just like making beats and I look at my phone.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, showered. We leave at ten thirty. I
Speaker 3: haven't even showered eight at ten am, and I'm I'm
Speaker 3: my computer just sitting there in my underwear, and it's
Speaker 3: just like, okay, let me get yo.
Speaker 1: And he's not lying either, like we would be. We'd
Speaker 1: be flying to away games and I would notice Darren
Speaker 1: sitting in his seat or whatever. He's got his laptop out,
Speaker 1: headphones on and doesn't talk to anybody and literally just
Speaker 1: makes beats. Or is that what you're doing? Making beats? Yeah,
Speaker 1: the entire flight I mean, we had some vicious flights.
Speaker 1: So you guys flew. I mean I came aboard and
Speaker 1: it's like we're flying to New York, US fly as
Speaker 1: far as shit, it was far. Yeah, you guys flew
Speaker 1: to London and shit.
Speaker 2: Yeah we had Winnipeg in the preseason.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys flew a lot different places. Whoop. But yeah,
Speaker 1: he was making beats the entire time, Like a five
Speaker 1: hour flight to New York. This man laptop open, headphones on,
Speaker 1: He's making beats. Flying back, he's making beats.
Speaker 2: Yo.
Speaker 1: So you're heavy into the music game.
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, I mean I started like in twenty fifteen
Speaker 3: when I got to drafts to the Ravens and I
Speaker 3: was like super.
Speaker 2: Boared there, didn't know anyone.
Speaker 3: So I was just like we used to freestyle all
Speaker 3: the time in college, just like someone put a beat
Speaker 3: on and we'll go like two bars or four bars
Speaker 3: and pass it. And then so I was like I
Speaker 3: would give you like two bars or four bars, but
Speaker 3: I couldn't really freestyle. But then I was like I
Speaker 3: can write to this shit and be good at it.
Speaker 3: And then I just started writing.
Speaker 2: And then I was.
Speaker 3: Wrapping into the Apple EarPods into my Macwook on garage band.
Speaker 3: So I was just like wrapping into the headphone mic
Speaker 3: and started doing that. Then I like bought some cheap
Speaker 3: equipment and was wrapping in my closet in Baltimore. And
Speaker 3: then after that I started going to a dude who's
Speaker 3: a rapping from my high school, shot the Vibe God.
Speaker 2: You said, I've got ye God Lamar Bridges.
Speaker 1: Is he a beast? Is he on social media?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: He's he got a song with like a million a
Speaker 3: million plays. I remember the uh I think it's called
Speaker 3: good Vibes only shot the Vive God. I was rapping
Speaker 3: at his house, using his studio, and then I did
Speaker 3: a couple of songs there and it was like dudes
Speaker 3: from like my high school there and they was like, man,
Speaker 3: this thing's rapping out, Like what is he doing that?
Speaker 3: Like when they started rapping there was like oh ship,
Speaker 3: like he all right? And so then that gave me
Speaker 3: the confidence started going to like a real studio and
Speaker 3: then been doing it ever since.
Speaker 1: Isn't that weird how it works too? Like you have
Speaker 1: something you want to do, but you're kind of like
Speaker 1: super nervous. When you finally do something, Oh yeah, for that,
Speaker 1: like uh, validation from your boys.
Speaker 3: Right, And plus it was like, you know, I was
Speaker 3: always shaky, like as far as like college, I was
Speaker 3: getting suspended all time I got in the league.
Speaker 2: I had already been suspended once.
Speaker 3: And then it was like he and I got suspended
Speaker 3: for like the year, and it was like, oh, he
Speaker 3: rapping out, Like when ain't got a shit going on,
Speaker 3: they come home and start rapping.
Speaker 1: They start they're thinking like, yo, he's really yeah, they're
Speaker 1: be looking at me like that. So we're going to
Speaker 1: get into that stuff later. But dude, that's sick. I
Speaker 1: didn't know you were like that deep. I actually name
Speaker 1: dropped you the other day. I was on the phone.
Speaker 1: I was on the phone with somebody from Barstool and
Speaker 1: we were talking. We were talking about I think they
Speaker 1: do projects for like they tie something in the youth,
Speaker 1: some charity in the youth with somebody who's in the
Speaker 1: music industry on the athlete platform. So they're talking about
Speaker 1: I think they're doing something like Rashaun Evans. He loves
Speaker 1: the rap, so they're pairing him with like a youth
Speaker 1: cause at the children's Hospitals Vanderbilt, and they're gonna they
Speaker 1: make like a music video and kind of collab music
Speaker 1: professional athlete with the with the youth, a youth program
Speaker 1: or youth charity. I don't know the one they're doing
Speaker 1: with Rashwan, but I'm like, hey, I don't know if
Speaker 1: you guys have trouble pairing athletes with youth in the
Speaker 1: community or a charity event, you know, for kids. But
Speaker 1: I was like, I know when I was on The Raiders,
Speaker 1: Darren Waller and Max Crosby are both in the music
Speaker 1: game heavy and they would be great to like, you know,
Speaker 1: names music video tie a K.
Speaker 2: Right, So I did shout you out it's a dope thing.
Speaker 1: So you might be making another music video.
Speaker 2: I'm with it.
Speaker 1: You just said you made how many music videos recently?
Speaker 2: I've made three music videos in the last three weeks in.
Speaker 3: Part part of the fourth is all this in Atlanta? Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's all like right around Atlanta, like where the Brave Stadium.
Speaker 3: It's called the Battery, and so I live like right
Speaker 3: around there, and there's a whole bunch of weird locations
Speaker 3: and places there that we've been taking advantage of.
Speaker 1: Do you produce and you kind of write what you
Speaker 1: want to happen, or do you allow somebody else to
Speaker 1: do that, and you just kind of tie your music
Speaker 1: to or how does that work?
Speaker 2: So one of my best friends who's a producer, shout
Speaker 2: out the Fowler.
Speaker 1: Oh I love it, dude, the boys, let's go Fowler,
Speaker 1: shout out Fowler.
Speaker 3: He makes He knew the video man that I started using,
Speaker 3: and so he would just have like a vision and
Speaker 3: then I would kind of like pitch into it and
Speaker 3: then we just kind of combined.
Speaker 1: I got you. So then you guys kind of come
Speaker 1: up with scenes or however that works. Yeah, are you
Speaker 1: stunting on them with a bunch of.
Speaker 2: We did have the prop money shout out two and
Speaker 2: fifty K and prop money. For sure. We wanted to
Speaker 2: in one of the videos.
Speaker 1: Oh no, awesome dude.
Speaker 3: But I had the music video a couple of years ago.
Speaker 3: I was just playing around, like twenty seventeen. It was
Speaker 3: called Christmas Day. It's on YouTube.
Speaker 1: Okay, that was back in twenty seventeen. Yeah, it's on YouTube.
Speaker 1: Christmas Day.
Speaker 2: It's Christmas theme.
Speaker 1: Do you have a YouTube channel?
Speaker 2: I do not. I'm about to though these videos.
Speaker 1: I gotcha. So you'll just whatever you have, You'll just
Speaker 1: stream through Apple, Spotify or YouTube but you don't have
Speaker 1: a certain channel to put it all in yet correct,
Speaker 1: But that's coming.
Speaker 2: It's coming. I'm trying to learn.
Speaker 1: How many guys do you think are in like the
Speaker 1: music industry, in like sports or the NFL? Do you
Speaker 1: know have a lot of guys? Do you like collaborate
Speaker 1: with any of the guys who are out there who
Speaker 1: are doing stuff?
Speaker 3: Nah, I haven't collaborated, but I mean I feel like
Speaker 3: I see a new one, like all the time, Like
Speaker 3: you've seen like Le'Veon Bell been rapping. Yeah, I've seen
Speaker 3: then other day a dude from the Saints, like a
Speaker 3: defensive back, he was a rookie, Yeah, and he had
Speaker 3: a song that was out and like people were like
Speaker 3: promoting it, and it's just like, I mean, I'm with it.
Speaker 1: Like do you keep your eye on guys in the
Speaker 1: NFL who go in the rap game or who are
Speaker 1: in kind of the music industry?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 3: I mean, I just kind of do my own thing.
Speaker 3: I guess I'm not really worried about nobody else. I
Speaker 3: just do music because it like just the feeling I
Speaker 3: got of it.
Speaker 1: You just have a lot of passion for it. Yeah, passion, man,
Speaker 1: hear that A little weird little that was the seat. Yeah, dude,
Speaker 1: that's sick man. And now you're just like you're just
Speaker 1: making music all the time. You don't even care about
Speaker 1: you don't even care about that validation anymore because you
Speaker 1: got it from a few piers and you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I got a shot at this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then like doing the music of me with
Speaker 3: my confidence too. It was just like, you know, that's
Speaker 3: something where it's like you could be in the booth
Speaker 3: and it could be a bunch of people like in
Speaker 3: the room while you're about to record something like that
Speaker 3: could be real different or like something that you like,
Speaker 3: I don't know how this is gonna sound. They could
Speaker 3: laugh at me, but was just like fuck it, just
Speaker 3: go in there and lay it down.
Speaker 1: Now you don't even worry about that anymore. Yeah, It's
Speaker 1: just it's crazy how that works. That was kind of
Speaker 1: how I was with the podcast. And fortunately my boy Taylor,
Speaker 1: who isn't with us today, wish he was here, but
Speaker 1: Taylor wanted to go in with me, so it kind
Speaker 1: of gave me like, Okay, this can be easier because
Speaker 1: I have one of my boys doing it with me,
Speaker 1: and like a couple guys in the locker room Shout
Speaker 1: Out Logan Logan, Ryan and Derek Morgan, those were a
Speaker 1: couple of them. But they were like, yo, come you
Speaker 1: should have a podcast like that would be dope and
Speaker 1: that like that. There I was like, okay, like now
Speaker 1: I should actually do it because you're always nervous, like
Speaker 1: when you do put yourself out there, because you you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like you have ideas, but you
Speaker 1: got to be like vulnerable enough to put yourself out
Speaker 1: there to do it, and you just don't know how honestly,
Speaker 1: it's your peers. It's the people that are in the
Speaker 1: locker room with you when you walk in and your
Speaker 1: stuff is out there, are they going to tell you, yo,
Speaker 1: your shit is dope? Or are they gonna clown you
Speaker 1: for it? And then you're kind of like, hey, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I should do this anymore. But when
Speaker 1: I was on the Raiders, I forget, but certain guys
Speaker 1: would come up to me. They would kind of be
Speaker 1: like on the side when no one was around, they'd
Speaker 1: be like, hey, man, I put your YouTube on. I
Speaker 1: watched one of your episodes last night, like, yo, your
Speaker 1: shit is fire. And so you're kind of like in
Speaker 1: your mind you're like, you know, you feel dope about it.
Speaker 1: You're like thank god, like you're kind of accepted in
Speaker 1: the locker room because if it was shitty, or if
Speaker 1: it's shitty or people going to clown on you, you're
Speaker 1: like you don't even want to like be in the
Speaker 1: locker room, right.
Speaker 2: That was the kind of the music.
Speaker 3: It was like I kept telling people I was gonna
Speaker 3: drop on my birthday and they was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: we wait, like we gonna see what that sounds like.
Speaker 1: You're like, man, I got this.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go record one or two more and make
Speaker 2: sure it's like.
Speaker 1: Yo, would you want a freestyle on the bus? You
Speaker 1: can write? You can write. I was gonna say, Max Crosby,
Speaker 1: who we're gonna have on? I told him he has
Speaker 1: to freestyle. You think Max is nice?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Max is solid.
Speaker 1: When dudes were they so guys people in the locker room,
Speaker 1: Guys who like want to rap. They'll like have this
Speaker 1: huge like boom box and they'll play beat. They'll play
Speaker 1: songs all the time where they'll like run a beat
Speaker 1: on YouTube and guys will just freestyle, like it'll be Friday,
Speaker 1: but all its freestyle Friday. You get done with your
Speaker 1: practice and everybody's fired up in the locker room, so
Speaker 1: they'll start playing beats and guys gotta grab the mic
Speaker 1: and freestyle. And I remember when Max did, I didn't
Speaker 1: even know it was Max doing it. Like you know,
Speaker 1: some guys are going, like Spook was going. I think, uh,
Speaker 1: I think Key Showing was going.
Speaker 2: Made the rookies go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they make the rookies go. And then uh, I
Speaker 1: hear somebody go and I'm like, yo, who in the
Speaker 1: hell is that? And somebody's like, oh, that's Max Crosby.
Speaker 1: I was like, white boy, Max is out there freestyle.
Speaker 1: They're like, yeah, Max can flow. But I told Max
Speaker 1: when he comes on, he has to freestyle. And he's like,
Speaker 1: I get to play my own beat though, And I
Speaker 1: was like, bro, however you want it set up you?
Speaker 1: I mean we want we wanted to be success. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we want you to be set up for success.
Speaker 2: Dude.
Speaker 1: He's like, all right, for sure, I'll for sure do it.
Speaker 2: But that's dope.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Off the music, where did you play? Where'd you
Speaker 1: play college ball? We got to start from like the beginning,
Speaker 1: So where'd you grow up?
Speaker 3: I grew up in Acworth, Georgia. No, one knows where
Speaker 3: that is, so I just say Atlanta is. It's thirty
Speaker 3: minutes north of Atlanta though.
Speaker 1: Okay, so where you live now, that's kind of where
Speaker 1: you're around where you grew.
Speaker 3: Up, right, it's the same county like my parents moved.
Speaker 3: But uh, yes, the same county, Cop County.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and where'd you go to high school?
Speaker 2: I went to North cop High School in Kennesaw, Georgia.
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't even know where that is, Honestly, I
Speaker 1: don't know why it's a question. You feel like I
Speaker 1: gotta start with because so I want to. I gotta
Speaker 1: learn from the from the get go, because all I've
Speaker 1: seen on you is when we played the other, like
Speaker 1: those last eight weeks you stayed in the extended stay
Speaker 1: with me. Shout out that shitty extended stay no free shoutouts, God,
Speaker 1: how awful is that place?
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm a simple guy. I was cool with it.
Speaker 3: The hallways smell like nicotine and like chunky soup.
Speaker 1: Like sure, yeah, I say homeless sex and cigarettes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, you hey, remember that dude in the wheelchair
Speaker 1: that has like his little dog, and he'll like come out,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, And he would kind of
Speaker 1: cross you, and you you you're you feel like you're
Speaker 1: in a horror movie. Like you'd get snacks, you know,
Speaker 1: there's like vending machines or you get like uber each
Speaker 1: or something or Postmates something, and you grab it and
Speaker 1: you get your food and you walk down the hallway
Speaker 1: and you start to like slide your key in the door,
Speaker 1: and you like take a glance down the hall and
Speaker 1: that dude's just sitting there in his wheelchair looking at you. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not lying, I'm not joking. It's funny too, but
Speaker 1: also creepy.
Speaker 2: I just snap on some fans one day.
Speaker 1: Are you talking about the people that outside that's in
Speaker 1: between the extended saying the facility?
Speaker 3: Yeah, they were right outside the fence, and I would
Speaker 3: make the left out of the gate right.
Speaker 1: Because you're I don't want to sign stuff.
Speaker 3: I'm like today not to day like I usually do
Speaker 3: most days. And then I see out the corner of
Speaker 3: my eye people dark like just start sprinting. I was like,
Speaker 3: I was like, I know they're going to meet me
Speaker 3: at the door. I was like, I'm not gonna blow
Speaker 3: up on them. I'm just gonna say it in a
Speaker 3: very nice way. So I park and I see people
Speaker 3: running up, like ten of them, and I'm just like,
Speaker 3: all right, you guys, like we're not just gonna run
Speaker 3: up on me here just because you know that I
Speaker 3: live here. Like, if this is gonna be if you
Speaker 3: want me to sign right here, this is gonna be
Speaker 3: the last time I ever signed for you guys.
Speaker 1: Oh so they followed you all the way to your to.
Speaker 2: The back doors. I'll always go up the back door
Speaker 2: and not the front right right.
Speaker 3: My room was in the back, and they they came
Speaker 3: running right there like with posters and everything. It's just like,
Speaker 3: I mean, I get it, but it's like, hey, we're
Speaker 3: not gonna do that.
Speaker 1: No doubt. And shout out those fans too, because Oakland
Speaker 1: has some.
Speaker 2: Loyaliz Oh yeah, yeah, shout out of the fans for sure.
Speaker 1: But every day, dude, there's a crowd of fans. Like
Speaker 1: the way it's set up is you have our facility
Speaker 1: where you go into and then when you walk out
Speaker 1: the gate or like you know, you have our own
Speaker 1: parking lot, or you'll drive out the gate. We would
Speaker 1: walk or you have a car. I guess me. I
Speaker 1: would just walk out the gate to walk to the
Speaker 1: extend and Say, because the extended Say is literally one
Speaker 1: building over from the facility. So you walk out the
Speaker 1: gate and there's just always a crowd of Raiders fans
Speaker 1: and they're awesome. I mean a lot of repeat guys
Speaker 1: because they're getting a lot of every day and it's
Speaker 1: like Halloween there all the time, like they're dressed, they're
Speaker 1: freaking all in on the Raiders and we love them.
Speaker 1: But every day you're signing something new, Hey Will Will,
Speaker 1: uh you know, once I started playing will Will, can
Speaker 1: you sign this? And after several times it's like, hey,
Speaker 1: who is this for? And now?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like those guys, they would always be a certain
Speaker 3: amund like every time they'd be like, I promise I
Speaker 3: don't sell it, like I promise this.
Speaker 2: For me there for us. I'm like, that's fine. I'm
Speaker 2: not even asking you, like.
Speaker 1: Exactly, like I'm not even questioning you, Like, okay, I'm
Speaker 1: signing up there. Hey this is even for me, man,
Speaker 1: Like I don't sell any of this uff. You can
Speaker 1: come see my basement. I'll show you pictures and you're like,
Speaker 1: whoaa we easy ball, Like I'm not even asking, but
Speaker 1: that's good to know, probably selling good to know. And
Speaker 1: then that dude with like the long beard, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. Some of the fans would give
Speaker 1: rights to players to the hotel down the road. It's hilarious.
Speaker 1: But he came up, Hey man, I just want to
Speaker 1: say there's like a long day, and I was like, hey, guys,
Speaker 1: not today, And You're like, I'm trying to just go
Speaker 1: to the hotel room. Oh please, man, I'm like, who's
Speaker 1: this for today? Like who am I signing this for anyway?
Speaker 1: Cause it's like, hey, this is the eighth thing I've
Speaker 1: signed for you each and every day, and uh, oh
Speaker 1: this is for my boss this time. It's like all right, man, listen,
Speaker 1: I'll sign for you, like you know, if it's for
Speaker 1: your dad or your family member. But if you're out
Speaker 1: there trying to get stuff signed for, like people that
Speaker 1: aren't even really connected to you, like you're doing too much.
Speaker 3: Sho's out there on Thanksgiving Day, Christmas like times they
Speaker 3: should be with their family, Like out.
Speaker 1: There yeah Christmas Eve, Man, you ain't.
Speaker 2: Got nowhere to go?
Speaker 1: Yeah, go open presence with your family.
Speaker 2: Watching the games, and like.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but that's basically how me and you got
Speaker 1: to know each other because oh you're in the extended
Speaker 1: to day and Darren's like on the team, like big
Speaker 1: time on the team, like paid on the team. When
Speaker 1: did you sign last?
Speaker 2: It was after we got back from London. I signed
Speaker 2: a new contract.
Speaker 1: Yo, and congrats on that. As big Time leveled up,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, why are you staying in the extended Stay?
Speaker 1: And we kind of got to know each other a
Speaker 1: little bit because we would land after a long flight
Speaker 1: at like eleven pm at night. We'd get back late
Speaker 1: and we would uh. I would always just go in
Speaker 1: the tubs, like the hot and cold tub and contrast
Speaker 1: for recovery because me, I like have nothing to do.
Speaker 1: It's just me and the extended Stay. And he was
Speaker 1: just like, let me just utilize the facility since all
Speaker 1: I'm going to do is go home, and you're kind
Speaker 1: of hyped up off the game and stuff, so you're like,
Speaker 1: let me just do this recovery. Darren would be in
Speaker 1: there and we would just vibe and kind of talk,
Speaker 1: and then he would we both walk back to the
Speaker 1: extended Day. I'm like, yo, you stay here and he's like,
Speaker 1: uh yeah, And so I don't really quit. I didn't
Speaker 1: really like question why he was staying there. I'm like,
Speaker 1: aren't you paid? Like, why are you staying in the
Speaker 1: extended stay. I'm like, I know why I'm staying in
Speaker 1: the extend and say I just got here, I'll just
Speaker 1: finishing out the season and it's super expensive out in California.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, why you're why are you paying or
Speaker 1: why are you staying in the extended Say, then we
Speaker 1: get to what was it Christmas? Yeah, remember our conversation
Speaker 1: if you start, So, we were we got a we
Speaker 1: were at Derek Carrs. Shout out Derek definitely, and we're
Speaker 1: changing the rule shout out Derek Carr free shoutouts for
Speaker 1: the boys, obviously because we're for the boys. Uh. But
Speaker 1: we're at Derek Carr's for Christmas, for Christmas dinner, and
Speaker 1: me and my fiance go over there's there, we get
Speaker 1: a plate, we sit, we sit down, and I forget
Speaker 1: what happened. I think we were having some drinks and
Speaker 1: there's whiskey there, right, and I think I made a
Speaker 1: joke about whiskey, like, hey, are you gonna have some whiskey?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like, oh no, I'm good, And I'm like, why not.
Speaker 1: I think it was something like that, like, yo, don't
Speaker 1: be a pussy, like have some whiskey on Christmas and
Speaker 1: you're like, oh no, I'm good. And somebody I didn't
Speaker 1: somebody say you had been suspended or how did that
Speaker 1: conversation go? I mean, I was shocked. I don't mind
Speaker 1: it be like, yo, I was saying something. I was
Speaker 1: kind of chirping him for not drinking whiskey, and somebody
Speaker 1: said something about being suspended. Right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to say, I don't remember who it
Speaker 3: was exactly, because I know it was. It was quite
Speaker 3: a few guys from the team there, so I remember
Speaker 3: who exactly was sitting next to us, but yeah, it
Speaker 3: got brought.
Speaker 1: Up and I was like, I said something about why
Speaker 1: don't you just have a drink or something like. It
Speaker 1: was something, and somebody was like, yo, his suspension came
Speaker 1: up from when he got suspended how many times?
Speaker 2: Twice in the league?
Speaker 1: Twice in the league when.
Speaker 3: I got I got suspended two times in college. I
Speaker 3: got suspended two times in the league for what substance abuse?
Speaker 3: So I was like, just like drug tests and this
Speaker 3: is alcohol is everything. But put in Neela my arm.
Speaker 1: Wow, so paint pills, alcohol, weed, you name it. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. But anyway, and we're going to get into
Speaker 1: all this stuff. I'm just kind of giving you the
Speaker 1: briefing on Darren and I kind of like being boys,
Speaker 1: being in the extended say, being in the tubs, and
Speaker 1: then we go to Christmas. I'm I'm comfortable enough around
Speaker 1: him and be like, yo, I have some whiskey, Like,
Speaker 1: don't be a pussy dude, Like, let's have some whiskey together.
Speaker 1: And somebody brought up his suspension. You've been suspended and
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, twice. I'm like for what or maybe
Speaker 1: we were talking about Taylor being suspended. Maybe anyway, we're
Speaker 1: talking about suspensions and I'm like, for what, and he's
Speaker 1: like substance abuse. I was like, oh shit, I had
Speaker 1: no idea. That's my bad man. I had no fucking clues.
Speaker 1: Oh it's fine. You know, that's kind of why you
Speaker 1: were staying in the extended say, or some of a reason, right,
Speaker 1: because you kind of wanted to, you know, not be
Speaker 1: what was your reasoning for it?
Speaker 3: So my reasoning for staying in the extended stay was
Speaker 3: I'd never really been like committed to football like that,
Speaker 3: and I was just like, you know, if I ever
Speaker 3: like put one hundred percent in, I feel like I'd
Speaker 3: be all right. And I was just like, Okay, if
Speaker 3: I stay right next door to the building, I can
Speaker 3: go in earlier, i can stay later, and I'll sacrifice
Speaker 3: like being somewhere where it's a lit spot and things
Speaker 3: are happening, like just for a few months, four months
Speaker 3: at a time for an NFL season, like just lock
Speaker 3: in completely, and I just want to stay there for
Speaker 3: the convenience of it, and I'll just go back and
Speaker 3: forth and I'll just be locked in and not be
Speaker 3: too worried about anything going on, like I'll go out
Speaker 3: and eat and everything. But I was just trying to
Speaker 3: be locked in for just one season because I had
Speaker 3: never been locked in before.
Speaker 1: Did you make that decision because you knew you were
Speaker 1: about to get a new contract?
Speaker 3: No, I didn't think I was gonna get paid during
Speaker 3: the season really because I had I had never started
Speaker 3: a game before.
Speaker 1: Yeah. See, we're all going to get to learn about
Speaker 1: daring together because I have no clue about and you
Speaker 1: at all before that. I just knew when I got there.
Speaker 1: I'm like, Yo, this dude is a fucking savage, Like
Speaker 1: throw him the ball all the time. That's why I'm
Speaker 1: sitting on the sideline thinking, and then I'm kind of like, yo,
Speaker 1: we're kind of boys on the side. So you know,
Speaker 1: it's dope that I'm getting to know you, but I
Speaker 1: have no clue about you before that. Right, So you
Speaker 1: were with the Ravens before the Raiders.
Speaker 3: I got drafted by the Ravens in what round, the
Speaker 3: sixth sixth round. I was a wide receiver coming at
Speaker 3: Georgia Tech wide.
Speaker 1: Receiver coming out of Georgia Tech. Okay, so you're when
Speaker 1: you're when you're coming into the league. Were you like
Speaker 1: all in on wanting to be a football player at
Speaker 1: that moment when you first came in the league.
Speaker 3: Nah, if I I told people with all the time,
Speaker 3: if I wanted to stop playing football, probably would have stopped,
Speaker 3: like in high school or after high school, because it
Speaker 3: just became like a like a people pleasing tool for me.
Speaker 1: You just knew you were kind of good at it.
Speaker 1: People wanted you to do it, so you're like, I'm
Speaker 1: going to do this for other people. Right when did
Speaker 1: you start abusing substances or do you want to call.
Speaker 3: It like abusing? Probably like at the end of high school. Okay,
Speaker 3: so probably like seventeen eighteen.
Speaker 1: What started you on it?
Speaker 3: Just with some friends, they went through their parents' medicon cabinet,
Speaker 3: pulled out like some hydro codon, like five milligram pills
Speaker 3: really like my sophomore year high school, and they like,
Speaker 3: you want to tell you one? I was like, sure,
Speaker 3: why not? I ain't got shit going on for me.
Speaker 3: So I just took one and it was like, bam, what.
Speaker 1: Do you What do you mean by when you didn't
Speaker 1: have shit going on for you?
Speaker 2: So like by the time I was fisting.
Speaker 1: We're gonna die, We're diving in. Oh yeah, I love this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but people are gonna listen because people are very excited
Speaker 1: about your story when you were on hard knocks and
Speaker 1: you honestly you don't have like a couple of minutes
Speaker 1: to talk about it. And I watched this video of
Speaker 1: the TMZ posted. We talked about it for a couple
Speaker 1: of minutes. But people are very fascinated and there's a
Speaker 1: lot of help and an outlet. I feel like you've
Speaker 1: given to people. So I can't wait to like dive
Speaker 1: into everything. So I'm gonna ask every question.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So, so when I was younger, I was just like real,
Speaker 3: like like different. I guess I don't know. I was
Speaker 3: like really sensitive, but so like I just felt alienated.
Speaker 3: I hung out with white kids. They were in my neighborhood.
Speaker 3: They were the ones playing outside, so I was like,
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna go fuck with them, and they were
Speaker 3: just playing the white kids. I'm not I'm not saying
Speaker 3: nothing outside of out there playing every sport that I like.
Speaker 2: So I'm finna go rock with them. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then it's like kids, all the h like all
Speaker 3: the all the black kids like my age would all
Speaker 3: just like clown on me, just rag on me for that.
Speaker 2: And I was just like I was real sensuous, So
Speaker 2: I was just like damn, like.
Speaker 1: They would clown on you for hanging out with white kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah okay, And it was like damn, like I can't
Speaker 1: catch your break.
Speaker 3: And then it was just like when I go into classes,
Speaker 3: I was always in like gifted advanced classes. It wasn't
Speaker 3: no other black people in there. So I'm just like damn,
Speaker 3: like I'm just just you're super smart. Yeah, And it's
Speaker 3: just like I don't feel connected to anyone around me.
Speaker 3: But it's just like, oh, I'm in the South, like
Speaker 3: I'm in Georgia, like people love football, so I know
Speaker 3: I'm good at football, so I'm gonna go like put
Speaker 3: all my eggs into this football basket. And it's like
Speaker 3: I'm going through. I was really good, like from when
Speaker 3: I started to like through middle school. Then people got big.
Speaker 3: I was super small, Like I will show you a
Speaker 3: picture of me from my JV football year, like I
Speaker 3: was in like fifth grade, but I was super small
Speaker 3: and football just wasn't going. Like my freshman in high school,
Speaker 3: I rode the bench the whole year on freshman team,
Speaker 3: like I played in like garbage time.
Speaker 1: But you love football at this point, I get because no,
Speaker 1: I'm saying, at this point, when you were a freshman,
Speaker 1: you're like I want to play football because I'll rock
Speaker 1: with football right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, this is still like me like blacking football.
Speaker 3: And then it's like I get into my second season
Speaker 3: is like JV, and it's like I'm still super small,
Speaker 3: but I finally like earn a spot and I was
Speaker 3: playing safety and I played a couple of games and
Speaker 3: got hurt, like I had to have surgery on my elbow,
Speaker 3: and I was like always in the cast and people
Speaker 3: were just like ragging on me for always being in
Speaker 3: the cast.
Speaker 2: Like you can't can't help the white kids. Yeah, well
Speaker 2: you ain't built. You ain't built for this ship.
Speaker 3: Like my I had a coach that you should try
Speaker 3: a non contact sport, Like really, this ain't it.
Speaker 2: I don't know when a coach. I ain't gonna I
Speaker 2: ain't gonna name.
Speaker 1: Let's go ahead and shout who's laughing now, dude.
Speaker 3: But but then I get to like that's like around
Speaker 3: fifteen year old. I'm just like, damn, Like I thought
Speaker 3: football was going to be the way for me and
Speaker 3: she ain't working, so like fuck it. And then like
Speaker 3: I'm just hanging out like and then I'm these kids
Speaker 3: pull bills out, I'm just like fuck it, like let's
Speaker 3: try something new, Like let's just let's see where this is.
Speaker 1: Where. So when you say kids pulled pills out, you're
Speaker 1: just you're just hanging at the house and you know
Speaker 1: everything's happened up to this point, and you're just like, so,
Speaker 1: you know, try this because they say it's fun, like
Speaker 1: it's cool, but you feel good.
Speaker 3: It makes it makes us feel really good, like and
Speaker 3: I'm just like I'm with feeling good because I don't
Speaker 3: really feel good right now with everything else is going on,
Speaker 3: so let's try this, damn.
Speaker 1: And that's how you got started.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how I got started. It started like real slow.
Speaker 3: It'd be like once every now, and then it started
Speaker 3: going like every weekend, and then it was like every
Speaker 3: couple of days. And then it's like started smoking weed too,
Speaker 3: start drinking.
Speaker 1: So what age is this when you started all this?
Speaker 3: Fifteen when I uh started doing pills and then like
Speaker 3: weave like sixteen, like my junior.
Speaker 1: Years, when did you start getting good at football?
Speaker 3: I grew from the end of my sophomore year to
Speaker 3: right before my junior year started, from five eight, five
Speaker 3: nine to six two.
Speaker 1: You were five eight when you were a sophomore lanky two.
Speaker 2: Were Yeah, I'm gonnahow youall a picture.
Speaker 1: We'll have it posted like when you text it to me.
Speaker 1: When when we're talking about it, like on the YouTube
Speaker 1: channel bloss will have your picture shown.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it'll be go y'all gonna die laughing. But so, yeah,
Speaker 3: I grew and I was still I was taller, and
Speaker 3: so it was automatically like okay, like you can play now,
Speaker 3: like I just looked the part, I guess, and I
Speaker 3: started getting in the weight room. Like once I stopped.
Speaker 3: I hear from my injury. I was like once this
Speaker 3: Drenth coach. I was like, coach, like, I gotta get right,
Speaker 3: like I'm super weak, and he was like, we got you.
Speaker 3: And then it was like start going up from there.
Speaker 3: And I played my junior year. I was super weak,
Speaker 3: but then I had like one hundred and twenty two
Speaker 3: tackles my junior year.
Speaker 2: So you're a beast on defense, yeah, because you're playing
Speaker 2: play offense.
Speaker 3: I got to college really okay, and so I played
Speaker 3: safety my junior year and then things start going well.
Speaker 3: I was playing basketball too, and so yeah, things were
Speaker 3: looking up.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: On tour, boys at Black Buffalo shout out Blake Buffalo,
Speaker 1: no free shoutouts. Guys will say, hey, if you're over
Speaker 1: twenty one and you dip tobacco, listen to this ad.
Speaker 1: Everyone that fits that category that choos is making the
Speaker 1: switch to Black Buffalo. Everyone's turning their attention to it.
Speaker 1: Everyone up, barstools, on board, Everybody that you look up
Speaker 1: to in the in the big leagues, they're chewing Black
Speaker 1: Buffalo inst instead of that. You know, your traditional tobacco leaf,
Speaker 1: it's active, it's active. In the military. Many dip during
Speaker 1: the service and have switched to the back Black Buffalo
Speaker 1: as a tobacco alternative to keep the ritual and ditch
Speaker 1: the tobacco. It is everything you love about tobacco, but
Speaker 1: without the tobacco leaf for stem. It's literally made of
Speaker 1: edible green leaves and a simple list of ingredients that
Speaker 1: you can find in a grocery story so you know
Speaker 1: exactly what's on the label. Black Buffalo sells exclusively on
Speaker 1: their website on black Buffalo dot com to the US,
Speaker 1: shout out to the USA and Canada. Use promo code
Speaker 1: bussing b ussi in at checkout for twenty percent off
Speaker 1: your first order on black Buffalo dot com. Again, keep
Speaker 1: the ritual and ditch the tobacco. It's available in two
Speaker 1: or five packs, so I think there's three packs as
Speaker 1: well you can try. Oh, here you go. You can
Speaker 1: try the Big three pack, one of straight, one of mint,
Speaker 1: and one of winter green long cut. We know you
Speaker 1: guys love that kind of shit for fifteen dollars. The
Speaker 1: Fab five pack straight Mint, winter Green, Peach, and blood
Speaker 1: orange long cut for twenty five bucks. It's free shipping
Speaker 1: in the US, so shout out the boys in the USA.
Speaker 2: But you can.
Speaker 1: Also, they also sell to Canada as well, so we're
Speaker 1: not leaving those boys out. But again, Black Buffalo dot
Speaker 1: Com used Goote Bussing for twenty percent off your first order.
Speaker 1: Have fun with that. Back to this banger episode of
Speaker 1: Darren Waller What's Not?
Speaker 3: And I started playing basketball. I kicked off the basketball team.
Speaker 3: I got arrested by junior year. Why these kids on
Speaker 3: my football team were throwing rocks and I was just
Speaker 3: like the getaway driver, like throwing through people's houses and
Speaker 3: busting out people's car windows with rocks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they're doing it.
Speaker 1: You're just a getaway driver.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just being I'm I'm like, yeah, don't you just
Speaker 3: think I'm cool? So I'm gonna just drive for Himah.
Speaker 3: Ends up like somebody was like walking their dog or
Speaker 3: something and got my license plate and I was the
Speaker 3: only one. I went down for it, and so it
Speaker 3: was like I got killed the basketball team for that.
Speaker 3: But then it was but football was like on the up.
Speaker 1: Did you go to camps and stuff in between junior
Speaker 1: and senior year or you just played?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: I went to Western Kentucky. I let my first offer
Speaker 3: and then I was just like okay, I'm finna go here.
Speaker 3: Like I didn't even think I was gonna be playing football,
Speaker 3: like because I was riding the bench. So I was
Speaker 3: just like, I'm just gonna come here. They offer me
Speaker 3: a scholarship, like I'm going there, yeah, And then I
Speaker 3: had a few other offers. It was like Air Force
Speaker 3: Marshall Western Kentucky, Kentucky, and then Troy University in Alabama
Speaker 3: and Georgia Tech.
Speaker 1: When did you get your Georgia Tech offer?
Speaker 2: Right before my senior year? Like the summer camp.
Speaker 3: I went to the camp and they saw me like
Speaker 3: actually move around and I was like playing defense, so
Speaker 3: I was like covering people and I was like I
Speaker 3: played I was out a corner and I was like
Speaker 3: press covering people. Yeah, And they were like, oh, like
Speaker 3: they probably do back then they're going to flip me
Speaker 3: to wide receiver.
Speaker 2: But they're like, oh, he's an athlete, so we can
Speaker 2: just bring him in. We thought we could do something
Speaker 2: with him.
Speaker 1: Were you fired up?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I mean kind of. It was just like Okay, like
Speaker 3: this is what's going to have people like approved of me.
Speaker 3: Was going to have people like being like, oh, like
Speaker 3: he doing something right now, like he really like putting
Speaker 3: in work, and it was like that kind of thing like.
Speaker 1: So in your mind, like what are you preparing for?
Speaker 1: I know you're it's like the validation of people and
Speaker 1: that's what they're wanting you to do. But what's like, uh,
Speaker 1: I guess what are you thinking? Like this is what
Speaker 1: my future wants to look like? This is what I
Speaker 1: want my future to look like? Or did you even
Speaker 1: have a.
Speaker 2: Vision about now? I had no vision back then. None.
Speaker 3: It was just like, oh, this is what people celebrate
Speaker 3: football players and like football players getting successful, everybody wants
Speaker 3: to be like them. So it's like if I could
Speaker 3: do this, people want to be like me, and then
Speaker 3: I'll be happy. It was just like that kind of
Speaker 3: formula which makes no sense.
Speaker 1: If you don't mind me asking like what was your family?
Speaker 1: What was your family life like? Did you have a
Speaker 1: lot of support to like play ball or yeah?
Speaker 3: It was like I had a great home environment, my parents,
Speaker 3: I had an older sister. They never pressured me to
Speaker 3: play any sports. My parents were never the parents that
Speaker 3: were like you're going to get home runs in every
Speaker 3: game or you're going to escort me touch on. They
Speaker 3: were just like have fun, like you could do whatever
Speaker 3: you want.
Speaker 1: My parents they're together, they're together. You had an older sister, yep, dang,
Speaker 1: So you're just you're just kind of having internal battles
Speaker 1: with yourself, right.
Speaker 2: There was no like nothing externally. It was all internally. Ye.
Speaker 1: You feel like you're like really introverted.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was. I was very much. So I still
Speaker 3: am a little bit now. But I'm coming out of
Speaker 3: my show a little bit.
Speaker 1: But because you're back, because you're the main.
Speaker 3: But back then, yeah, I was just like super shy,
Speaker 3: like I wasn't trying to talk like yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 3: wasn't with none of that.
Speaker 1: And then you go to Georgia Tech. Talk about your
Speaker 1: experience at Georgia Tech or when stuff like okay, you're
Speaker 1: you're would you say you're abusing drugs and stuff at
Speaker 1: this point going into Georgia Tech.
Speaker 3: It is up there. And then as soon as I
Speaker 3: got there and just saw like you, no, oh I
Speaker 3: could drink every day. Oh I could get high every day?
Speaker 1: Like did you have teammates that were doing that with you?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And you just there was there was there a lot
Speaker 1: more access to it. I assume absolutely. Yeah, that stuff
Speaker 1: is wild, man. I mean you talk about like in
Speaker 1: the nineties, and I'm sure stuff still goes on, but
Speaker 1: people talking about drug abuse before games and a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff like that. I was like a good kid.
Speaker 1: The most I did was drink. I drank like in
Speaker 1: high school, like the back half of my high school.
Speaker 1: Sorry my dad, But they kind of knew sure to
Speaker 1: do and they tried to keeping it tight on me,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like they were hard on me,
Speaker 1: and I love them for it, but I was just
Speaker 1: I was just a dude that like drank alcohol. I
Speaker 1: was scared of like smoking. I was scared of doing
Speaker 1: everything except like drinking alcohol. When like, okay, so you're
Speaker 1: you're you're a freshman. When when did it get When
Speaker 1: do you feel like, looking back, it started to get
Speaker 1: way too far like you were just you were like
Speaker 1: too far gone this It was way too far soon,
Speaker 1: like on campus really just because of the access.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then it was just like for me, it
Speaker 3: was like I wasn't very highly recruited, so I was
Speaker 3: like I think I was the lowest rated recruit in
Speaker 3: the Georgia Tech class coming in.
Speaker 1: So you just didn't feel it was kind of like
Speaker 1: a sense of value or worthy, Like I kind of
Speaker 1: like everybody else is above me.
Speaker 3: It was like I got here and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm here, but it's like I'm all right now, I'm
Speaker 3: just gonna get my education. I don't know if I'm
Speaker 3: gonna play. It's just like and then I'm like fuck it,
Speaker 3: like I'm just gonna like.
Speaker 1: Nervous around like the older players and shit too. Probably
Speaker 1: you first get there.
Speaker 3: And it was just like my my abuse, like my drinking,
Speaker 3: my using like made me cool around them. That's what
Speaker 3: got me to hang around them. Like me and myself,
Speaker 3: like I don't give a fuck, I'll do that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: there are people on my team that was like, damn,
Speaker 3: I thought you was lame. So I realized you was
Speaker 3: doing this this and that.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, just because you're quiet to yourself, right, but
Speaker 1: then when you people want to party or fuck with you,
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, Waller gets down like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like I coul drink people under the table
Speaker 3: like that. It's a genetic and it's just like I
Speaker 3: can out pop out do whatever, and it's like when
Speaker 3: people are like, oh, that's cool, it was like I
Speaker 3: started a feed off that.
Speaker 1: Holy ship, dude, now are you doing this stuff before games?
Speaker 3: Not the day of but like night before. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean there were sometimes I did today.
Speaker 1: Yeah, have you have you seen shout out? I think
Speaker 1: shout out Master, Gosh, I'm gonna butchers lest saying treff
Speaker 1: tre Trefiston. Or have you seen on social media untold
Speaker 1: stories by bleacher or by our competitor. Uh, anyway, there's
Speaker 1: an until there's untold stories that he'll have like retired
Speaker 1: guys on Santana Moss came on, I got to play
Speaker 1: with Santana my uh, his back end of his career
Speaker 1: when I was on the Redskins, And I'm listening to
Speaker 1: one of these untold stories and he's like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean we call it the whiskey game or drinking game
Speaker 1: or something. Campus you know what I'm talking about. Campus
Speaker 1: is a big Redskins fan, and they would they would
Speaker 1: pull shots before games, like and mix it with like
Speaker 1: a pill if they were injured or or something. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean, to like go out and play
Speaker 1: a game. And he back, Yeah, it got to where
Speaker 1: I would take a couple of shots before every game
Speaker 1: because it would.
Speaker 3: Help me relax. Yeah, were you ever were you ever
Speaker 3: like that? Toward the back end of my career. I
Speaker 3: would smoke in like pop Hills before. But like my
Speaker 3: freshman sophomore year, I wouldn't like the day of but
Speaker 3: like towards the end, like when I was playing, I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, like I'm out here, like I can
Speaker 3: make plays out here.
Speaker 2: It was like, I'm you realize you're a beast.
Speaker 3: I was like, all right, I'm gonna be lit like
Speaker 3: at everything, like practice, like I'll just do whatever at practice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's that's insane, dude. When when did you
Speaker 1: realize you were, like, you know, I got a shout
Speaker 1: to go to the league.
Speaker 3: Not till after my junior year. After we played we
Speaker 3: played in the bowl game. We played in the Music
Speaker 3: City Bowl.
Speaker 1: Here trash go ahead.
Speaker 3: But but I just remember, like towards the end of
Speaker 3: that year and like the end of my senior too,
Speaker 3: It's just like we played whenever we played big game opponents,
Speaker 3: like I would always get the ball and I always
Speaker 3: do something with But if we play like lower level
Speaker 3: schools and we could just run the option all day,
Speaker 3: like I would just be out there yawn and like
Speaker 3: trying to black people Georgiatown's. So it was like we
Speaker 3: played like uga. Like in my junior year, and I
Speaker 3: had a big game, and then we played Old miss
Speaker 3: and they were like loaded my junior we played them
Speaker 3: here and I had like a long touchdown like some
Speaker 3: players in that game, and it was just like after
Speaker 3: that game, people were telling me like, oh, like you
Speaker 3: could go to the league, like, but up.
Speaker 2: Until then, I was just like I never thought of
Speaker 2: it because you're.
Speaker 1: Just having fun playing football.
Speaker 2: I wasn't really having fun, really, I just I just knew.
Speaker 3: I was just like, right, I'm doing this thing like
Speaker 3: I'm just kind of just like floating through life in
Speaker 3: a sense. It's like I'm just like I don't think
Speaker 3: I never thought I was going to the least. I
Speaker 3: never had any confidence in myself.
Speaker 1: You're just yeah, you can't even say having fun. You
Speaker 1: weren't even having fun.
Speaker 2: It would be flashes of fun.
Speaker 3: I would like make a play and be like yeah,
Speaker 3: like I know what I'm doing, like I'm out here,
Speaker 3: but then just be right back to.
Speaker 1: That man and everybody's patting you on the back and
Speaker 1: it kind of fires you up, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: It last for like a couple of minutes, but then
Speaker 3: it just to be like I'm so ingrained and like
Speaker 3: self doubt it's just like even the next play, Like
Speaker 3: I could make like a crazy catch in the next
Speaker 3: one and be like, man, don't drop it, don't drop it,
Speaker 3: don't drop it.
Speaker 1: Did you ever kind of manifest those thoughts? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean you have negative felt you know, you know the
Speaker 1: sayings out there, what you think, you become law of attraction,
Speaker 1: all this positivity, all this self talk, like you pretty
Speaker 1: much manifest you know what you do. Like i'd be
Speaker 1: out there. It's hard for me to fully remember all
Speaker 1: of my days in Nebraska because sometimes like people are,
Speaker 1: oh you you was this and that in Nebraska, and
Speaker 1: there's games like I just can't fully remember because I
Speaker 1: remember being out there and you don't want to. You
Speaker 1: played it, not mess up, and you just be out there.
Speaker 1: And I got I would get destroyed my first year
Speaker 1: or two cause I played like as a freshman. It's
Speaker 1: not a flex like I played as a freshman. I
Speaker 1: just wasn't there. I wasn't that good. I wasn't well. No,
Speaker 1: I would mess up, like I would get bench and stuff.
Speaker 1: I think I started eight games, I think my freshman year,
Speaker 1: but I got benched, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: I'd go back and I'm like I'm on rivals dot
Speaker 1: Com and watch my old high school tape and I'm
Speaker 1: like thinking, yo, am I am I that good? Or
Speaker 1: am I am I shitty? And I just don't remember
Speaker 1: not being good in high school and like I'm doubting
Speaker 1: myself and I'm out there playing to not mess up
Speaker 1: and like, don't missus tackle. You miss a tackle, Polini's
Speaker 1: fucking raping you verbally, and you're just a young kid, like,
Speaker 1: you know, doubting yourself all the time. But I had
Speaker 1: fun playing. That's not me trying to love and be
Speaker 1: like I didn't love football like I I wanted football
Speaker 1: so bad. Like I was, I had fun and tried
Speaker 1: to enjoy it, and I was very like you know,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna use the word term brainwash to like want
Speaker 1: to be great and want to do the right things
Speaker 1: and not go out all the time like I did
Speaker 1: every now and then, but like try to be a
Speaker 1: leader and be a captain and do all those things.
Speaker 1: I wish I had more fun in college from a
Speaker 1: sense like not take it so seriously because you just
Speaker 1: kind of like stress yourself out over it, but you
Speaker 1: didn't have fun.
Speaker 3: I'm looking back, it was just like I think I
Speaker 3: got high too much where it's like if you just
Speaker 3: like look at like a graph.
Speaker 1: When you say you got high too much, as in
Speaker 1: high is like having fun or high like.
Speaker 3: Like high high like getting high off drugs. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: so I think I'm getting I'm getting high too much
Speaker 3: all the time. So like you just like normal like
Speaker 3: things that make you happy is like, oh, like going
Speaker 3: out on a day, like going to the movie, like
Speaker 3: doing normal things. But me, it's like my fun is
Speaker 3: getting as high as I possibly can. And so it's
Speaker 3: like football will get up to here, so but it's
Speaker 3: not fun because this is my new fun bar now
Speaker 3: and it's like.
Speaker 1: Things aren't Would it be substances in women? Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: hand that's crazy, dude. And then you're you're playing and
Speaker 1: there everybody's like, yo, you're gonna be You're gonna play
Speaker 1: in the NFL. Then your your senior year comes. What's
Speaker 1: your senior like? Is it any different from what you've
Speaker 1: experienced up to that point.
Speaker 2: My senior year.
Speaker 3: I mean it's just like the suspensions carrier where I'm
Speaker 3: out like the first game my junior year, I'm out
Speaker 3: the first to first two games my senior year.
Speaker 1: I remember test basa for weeds three drugs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then it's like I remember vividly.
Speaker 3: I don't think no one ever knew this except maybe
Speaker 3: like one of my teammates. I wasn't playing, but we
Speaker 3: played Wafford the first game of the year my senior year,
Speaker 3: and I was just like, I don't feel like going
Speaker 3: to the game. I'm about to get as fucked up
Speaker 3: as possible and then go to the game and stay
Speaker 3: on the sideline. So I was drinking like at least
Speaker 3: like a whole handle of liquor at like seven in
Speaker 3: the morning, and holy, I mean my thing was mixing.
Speaker 3: I think was mixing. I think was mixing like pills
Speaker 3: and like mixing everything and just seeing like what kind
Speaker 3: of adventure I would just go on because I would
Speaker 3: just be like there would be like.
Speaker 2: No soul in my body out but I like that
Speaker 2: it was sick.
Speaker 1: And then making your boys laugh too, like on the
Speaker 1: sideline like let.
Speaker 3: Me yeah, mem it was like I had like the
Speaker 3: you know, like the power like gatorade bottles that the
Speaker 3: water was in.
Speaker 2: I would twist the cap off and.
Speaker 3: Be like you want to like let them sniff it,
Speaker 3: and it's like complete blocker, like filled all way up
Speaker 3: to the top, and I'm just like going through bottles
Speaker 3: of that.
Speaker 1: Yo, how coaches are somebody not understand that, like because
Speaker 1: you can smell when people have been out for a
Speaker 1: night and you're fucking fucked up.
Speaker 2: I mean either they didn't say anything or I don't
Speaker 2: know what was going on.
Speaker 3: But but yeah, that game, and I'm just out there
Speaker 3: the whole Like I'm started at seven.
Speaker 2: In the morning.
Speaker 3: It's like I'm going, I'm going, I'm going. So I
Speaker 3: had to be there before the game. I had to
Speaker 3: be in the locker room like two hours before. I'm
Speaker 3: drinking in the locker room, like I already popped like
Speaker 3: what I wanted and so like, so it's setting in
Speaker 3: by a kickoff like I was playing things. I was
Speaker 3: like all right by kickoff, like I'm about to be
Speaker 3: like literally on the sideline's like don't remember the game,
Speaker 3: just like just acting the fool, not paying attention to
Speaker 3: the game, like not respecting anything, like you think like
Speaker 3: you're just ended, You're just gonna be out there. It's like, man,
Speaker 3: like I wish I could be out there me. I'm
Speaker 3: like I don't give a fuck, Like I don't have
Speaker 3: to get hurt. I just get fucked up, like it's
Speaker 3: time for me to do what I want to do.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, dude, Yeah, that is crazy as shit, Blost,
Speaker 1: What are you thinking sitting back there? Man?
Speaker 4: That's crazy? And like I could, I could speak on
Speaker 4: it from like a from like a military standpoint, right,
Speaker 4: Like I mean, you know, the pain medications and stuff
Speaker 4: like that, and then like even going out before deployment
Speaker 4: like in Afghanistan, I mean.
Speaker 1: There was loss was a sniper, but there was there was.
Speaker 4: Like some guys that would you know, just get fucked
Speaker 4: up before going out on mission and stuff like that.
Speaker 4: And it was wild, dude, But that's kind of how
Speaker 4: you cope with it, and you just get outside of
Speaker 4: your head and it's go and perform.
Speaker 1: Bro. Holy shit. So hell, I don't even know what
Speaker 1: kind of question asked. You're going through your senior year,
Speaker 1: you're going you're getting ready for the league? Where's your
Speaker 1: mental at?
Speaker 2: Knowing?
Speaker 1: Like, yo, I got a chance to were you Were
Speaker 1: you a combine guy?
Speaker 2: I did go to the combine?
Speaker 1: You did go? Yeah, So like, what's your fucking mental
Speaker 1: like going through the combine?
Speaker 2: And it was four days of lying my ass off
Speaker 2: to front office people telling them that I wasn't gonna
Speaker 2: use drugs or wasn't gonna.
Speaker 1: Use anymore because you're getting questioned a lot now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like this is this you like, is this
Speaker 3: just a phase? I'm just like no, this is just
Speaker 3: like me, Like you know how guys get in college,
Speaker 3: Like I was just like I could like wear a
Speaker 3: mask and just like make you think something that wasn't
Speaker 3: the truth at all, Like I could sell you a dream,
Speaker 3: like I got you.
Speaker 1: But you test for the combine? How did you pass?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I stopped. I stopped enough time to pass the
Speaker 2: combine drug tests?
Speaker 1: Was that hard to be abstinent from street drugs? Because
Speaker 1: it's like a I mean, I guess what is it now,
Speaker 1: February we're doing this pot right now. It's like February
Speaker 1: twenty ninth, so the combine's kind of just starting. That's
Speaker 1: like two three months absence, right or Yeah.
Speaker 3: But it was like I have to pass this test
Speaker 3: in order for me to keep like this life going,
Speaker 3: like for me to keep this facade going, Like I
Speaker 3: have to pass this one test and I can get
Speaker 3: back to what I was doing. Like then they'll be like, Okay,
Speaker 3: he passed a drug test and they'll be like, Okay,
Speaker 3: we can just evaluate his playing and it's like, meanwhile,
Speaker 3: I'm going back to exactly what I was.
Speaker 2: Like, I got you right where I wanted you, Like,
Speaker 2: I'm going back to what I wanted.
Speaker 1: When you did your drug test for the combine it
Speaker 1: did you go straight back to street drugs right after
Speaker 1: you pissed or did you have to test again? Like
Speaker 1: to where you're like, how long did you stay abstinent?
Speaker 3: It was just from the end of my senior year
Speaker 3: and doing through combine training. Like I smoked a little bit,
Speaker 3: like a couple of times during combine training, but I
Speaker 3: gave myself time to get clean further combine and then
Speaker 3: like the day I got home from the combine, it
Speaker 3: was right back, Oh.
Speaker 2: My god, dude.
Speaker 1: Then you get drafted Baltimore Ravens. Are you fired up?
Speaker 1: Were you fired up that you got drafted?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 1: Why not?
Speaker 3: I was just I was just miserable, bro. I was
Speaker 3: just like, you didn't want to play football. I'm just
Speaker 3: doing this thing because I have to. And it's just
Speaker 3: like I would look, it's all about the approval thing.
Speaker 3: It's just like and.
Speaker 1: Your parents are excited for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're through the roof, and they had like my
Speaker 3: parents invited people over and I'm just like I was
Speaker 3: up in my room just just like just drinking in
Speaker 3: my room and like getting high in my room and
Speaker 3: just like playing like FIFA.
Speaker 1: I think it was did your parents know like you
Speaker 1: had this issue?
Speaker 2: They knew what they knew? I was like getting fucked
Speaker 2: up with.
Speaker 1: They ain't, but they think they're like, oh, he's just
Speaker 1: being a college kid, Like he's just getting he's just
Speaker 1: drinking a little bit. I mean that's a super question
Speaker 1: because you got suspended, not not like taking a jab.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying like they're probably like, hey, do you
Speaker 1: need it? And You're like no, I'm fine, like like
Speaker 1: I just got messed up, like I just they.
Speaker 3: Would just see me Sunday, Like I would come home
Speaker 3: because like I lived like half hour from school, and
Speaker 3: I would just like PLoP down the couch and not
Speaker 3: move for like the entire day, and I'll just be.
Speaker 1: Like, were you like hoping you would be drafted somewhere
Speaker 1: closer to home.
Speaker 2: Like I didn't. I just felt like being drafted was
Speaker 2: a burden because I had to keep.
Speaker 1: So you didn't want to play at all.
Speaker 2: Nah. Bro.
Speaker 3: It was like it was like I have to like
Speaker 3: keep this life going because I don't want to look
Speaker 3: like that one dude that had a chance to get drafted,
Speaker 3: which was like I don't want to do this anymore
Speaker 3: and receive backlash from it because I was too afraid
Speaker 3: what people thought.
Speaker 2: Bro, I was too afraid of what people thought.
Speaker 1: That is nuts.
Speaker 4: What are you say in like the interview process, because you.
Speaker 1: Know, like most says a question.
Speaker 4: Yeah, most podcasts and most coaches and stuff like they
Speaker 4: you know, interview players right before they draft them. Like
Speaker 4: how was that process for you? Like did you just
Speaker 4: lie to them?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: It was just straight up lives for four days, bro,
Speaker 3: Like four days in a row. And it was like
Speaker 3: I got so good at lying because I was hiding
Speaker 3: from the school. I was hiding from you know, people
Speaker 3: I was hanging around. I was lying to chicks out dating.
Speaker 3: So I was just like a very good liar at
Speaker 3: that point. So I just have to combine and just
Speaker 3: like selling folks dreams like oh man, like we have
Speaker 3: to selling potential and you like, do you want to
Speaker 3: be great?
Speaker 2: Do you love it?
Speaker 3: I was like I love this game, Like I would
Speaker 3: never let anything get in the way. It's just a
Speaker 3: complete live.
Speaker 2: Bro like an absolute lie man.
Speaker 1: Okay, holy shit, you go to the Ravens and again
Speaker 1: on Hard Knocks you you're you're watching your story.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my shit kicked in on Scout team.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and I see he's like, come on, man,
Speaker 1: like make a play, like ye are you good? He's like,
Speaker 1: are you good? And now now knowing what I know
Speaker 1: about you, and I'm like, I wonder what the fuck
Speaker 1: is going through his mind? Like, so what are you
Speaker 1: doing now peeing on the Ravens like OTA's training camp,
Speaker 1: Like do you have do you have many friends on
Speaker 1: the team.
Speaker 2: I had no relationship with anyone in Baltimore.
Speaker 1: Really.
Speaker 3: I had a relationship with one teammate who I'm not
Speaker 3: going to name, just because we got high together all
Speaker 3: the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but no names for the boys.
Speaker 3: Yeah for sure. But yeah, I had no relationship, no
Speaker 3: relationship outside the building. Like in the building, gods, you're
Speaker 3: like always cool, Like it's like you could have a
Speaker 3: conversation with me, like we're in the tub, like we
Speaker 3: in meetings, like I'll joke, wish you like I'll get
Speaker 3: but once we leave the building, I'm gone, And it's
Speaker 3: like because people knew I was in the drug program too,
Speaker 3: and I was when I come out of college because
Speaker 3: my college history.
Speaker 2: So you get high around on these people.
Speaker 1: So just because you were suspended a couple of times
Speaker 1: in college, you immediately go in the drug program going
Speaker 1: into the NFL.
Speaker 2: But they gave me an opportunity.
Speaker 3: Like the NFL drug program is really leney at the
Speaker 3: end of the day, Like I could break it down
Speaker 3: for y'all.
Speaker 1: Break yeah, break it down.
Speaker 2: People.
Speaker 1: People want to know how this drug program.
Speaker 3: So it takes a hell of drug test fails to
Speaker 3: get to a suspended game, like one suspended game like
Speaker 3: your first Like if you're not in the drug program,
Speaker 3: say you fail test.
Speaker 2: That's one test.
Speaker 1: Say I come in and I'm completely clean, I just
Speaker 1: start smoking. I test positive my first time.
Speaker 2: What happened? Yeah, you you get put into the drug program.
Speaker 3: And then after that it is you you fail another test,
Speaker 3: that's a game fine, Like you're not missing the game,
Speaker 3: it's just they're just you're getting fined your game check.
Speaker 3: After that it's two game fine, and then after that
Speaker 3: it's a four game fine. And then you come back
Speaker 3: and then after that whereas it like the fourth or
Speaker 3: fifth test you failed, then you get to a one
Speaker 3: game suspension, So you really have to like start failing
Speaker 3: a lot to get to these games.
Speaker 1: And it's like, so somebody who's who gets suspended for
Speaker 1: one game has already failed the drug test probably four times. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it sucks losing that that money.
Speaker 2: Then it's like you get to one game spension two games,
Speaker 2: Like I would.
Speaker 1: Say that's lenient, but also at the same time, like
Speaker 1: once you fail, once you get put in the drug program,
Speaker 1: you get pretty much tested all the time, Like you
Speaker 1: can't you can't really smile.
Speaker 3: I've been getting drug tested two to three times a
Speaker 3: week for the last five years.
Speaker 1: That's what happens when you're in the drug program.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was like I was trying to get here three today,
Speaker 3: but it was like drug man pulled up, like and
Speaker 3: you have to wait for them to get there, like
Speaker 3: you can't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Darren before Darren, okay, big money over here. He
Speaker 1: drives all the way from Atlanta to Nashville. I like,
Speaker 1: why are you driving three and a half hours. Yeah,
Speaker 1: He's like, oh, it won't be a breeze. I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: this dude just he's just cool. I don't know, like
Speaker 1: he's like, all right, I guess I'll drive all the
Speaker 1: way here to do a podcast. And then he's like, hey,
Speaker 1: I might be a thirty minutes late. Drug guy just
Speaker 1: hit me up and he's got to come through to
Speaker 1: do a drug test, so I'll be like thirty minutes late.
Speaker 2: All right, that's fine.
Speaker 1: But so two to three times a week once you
Speaker 1: that's right when you get in the drug program right away, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: and then but if you fail after that, they're taking
Speaker 1: money out of your pocket. Even though you don't miss
Speaker 1: a game exactly, but when you see you guys missing games,
Speaker 1: and then you're like, oh, he's failed. He's failed at
Speaker 1: least four times.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So it was like before I was failing games, it
Speaker 3: was like I remember my second season, I missed it.
Speaker 3: I got to like a four game suspension and that
Speaker 3: was even lenient because I was just failing out ass
Speaker 3: at that point.
Speaker 1: And this is your this is sorry, I just I
Speaker 1: blanked out for a minute. That was your rookie year.
Speaker 2: My rookie year.
Speaker 3: So I was in the drug program and it was
Speaker 3: just like I they gave they actually gave me a window.
Speaker 3: It was like if you can make it too, like
Speaker 3: through the preseason and not like fail any tests. Like well,
Speaker 3: we're thinking about getting out of the drug program because
Speaker 3: they sent me to New York and they did this
Speaker 3: evaluation on me and I finessed the whole evaluation. How
Speaker 3: to getting them it was like a like a you
Speaker 3: answer all these questions about yourself, and it's just like
Speaker 3: I know that they're gonna want me to pick this,
Speaker 3: but I'm gonna pick this other one so they know
Speaker 3: they think that I'm a stable individual pretty much.
Speaker 2: And then it's like.
Speaker 1: Those are them gifted programs in high school. He's like
Speaker 1: ahead of the game.
Speaker 3: And then it's like I so I did that and
Speaker 3: they're like, your evaluation came back. So it's like okay,
Speaker 3: so drugs aren't really a problem for you. So it's
Speaker 3: like if you could just get through the preseason, we'll
Speaker 3: think about getting you out of the drug program. I
Speaker 3: couldn't get through the preseason, Like I was like, I
Speaker 3: can't do it.
Speaker 1: Why Why is this the stress? Is this the stress
Speaker 1: of being in training camp?
Speaker 2: And it ain't even have anyone. Bro, I'm I'm a fiend.
Speaker 3: Bro Like I'm like I'm a dead ass, Like I'm
Speaker 3: a professional athlete.
Speaker 2: But I'm a junkie, dead ass.
Speaker 1: That is fucking crazy, Dude. I'm sitting here because I'm
Speaker 1: trying to ask questions based on all of my stress levels,
Speaker 1: like coming through football, the league and everything, and You're like, nah,
Speaker 1: I wasn't even that, Like.
Speaker 2: I'm just stress. It was stressful, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 3: And I was just like, I have to impress all
Speaker 3: these people, just like, man, fuck this, I'm go get
Speaker 3: high and all this.
Speaker 1: Fuck.
Speaker 3: I'm the you know, the analogy, first person in, last
Speaker 3: one to leave. I'm last one in, first one to
Speaker 3: leave Baltimore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it just says, I mean, you are
Speaker 1: where you are now, So there's there's a reason you
Speaker 1: want to tell the story because I mean, you're you know,
Speaker 1: you've been helping people at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: because you're a testament. How long have you been sober now?
Speaker 1: Two and a half years. That's fucking let's go.
Speaker 2: Let's go appreciate. Let's fucking go appreciate it.
Speaker 1: So you're in Baltimore. How long? How many years a
Speaker 1: were you in Baltimore?
Speaker 2: I was there. I got drafted in twenty fifteen and
Speaker 2: I was there until.
Speaker 1: Okay, draft in twenty fifteen. When was your four game suspension?
Speaker 2: What year twenty sixteen?
Speaker 1: So you're felling you're failing hell a drug test. Up
Speaker 1: to this point, I'm willing to say I failed one
Speaker 1: hundred drug tests at least since you've been in league
Speaker 1: of that year, since I've been in the league since
Speaker 1: Over that, there was at you never know what's coming.
Speaker 2: On with his mother, because there was a stretch from
Speaker 2: he's like in one month.
Speaker 3: Fuck, there was a there was a stretch where I
Speaker 3: knew I was getting rug tested two three times a week,
Speaker 3: but I'll still getting high on the same rate. And
Speaker 3: so I thought of that I could drink like multiple
Speaker 3: detox and drinks in a week and like drink up
Speaker 3: saying amounts of water.
Speaker 1: You're sitting in the steam room, masuna tail, sitting in.
Speaker 3: The sauna, like I think that clip from training camp
Speaker 3: was me. I was sitting in the sauna during Ravens
Speaker 3: Ravens training camp. I was trying to be a drug
Speaker 3: test that day and I sat in the sauna for
Speaker 3: like an hour and fifteen minutes before practice. The sauna
Speaker 3: the dry sun, and I was like drinking water and
Speaker 3: I went out there to practice and it's just like
Speaker 3: you know, I can't beat the heat, bro, Like I'm
Speaker 3: getting my dick kicked in and it's like the heat
Speaker 3: is just too and it's like I have been sitting
Speaker 3: in the sauna and it's just like yo, like what
Speaker 3: are you?
Speaker 2: So I think it's I think that was one of
Speaker 2: those days.
Speaker 3: I could just look at myself and that thing and
Speaker 3: it's just like I look like I'm not even there,
Speaker 3: like like I mean, it could be a different day
Speaker 3: where I was just like hih as fuck out there,
Speaker 3: but I'm thinking like it was one of those days
Speaker 3: where I was out there in training camp and it's
Speaker 3: just like because I ended up like having to go
Speaker 3: inside because like the heat got me. And it's just
Speaker 3: like you know, they walking up the field like Darren
Speaker 3: Walla goes inside.
Speaker 1: I hear it. I hear the Ravens too, Like it's
Speaker 1: it's like.
Speaker 2: It's oh, yeah, it's roughest. That's roughest in the league.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I heard. It's like brut I'm talking like long practice,
Speaker 1: like long special teams practices, like fucking.
Speaker 3: Forty five minutes of special teams, full speed, like full
Speaker 3: field one on ones on kicking game like kick off,
Speaker 3: he go off.
Speaker 1: Returning like blocking hardball's a savage Yeah, it's.
Speaker 3: Really Jerry Rosberg shouted, Jerry Rosberg probably the greatest special
Speaker 3: teams coach of all time.
Speaker 2: But yeah he was savage in practice, saming harball.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because uh Camp and Arrow was on the tights
Speaker 1: with me, So me and me and Mike Camp. Yes, sir,
Speaker 1: I mean Mike, can't we talk about all the raven stuff?
Speaker 1: But I heard his brutal out there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very rough practice, very rough on your body?
Speaker 1: Are you still wearing that bullshit column from high school?
Speaker 1: You were in polar Blue, You weren't curve you walking
Speaker 1: into Walmart spring curve on and being like, oh I
Speaker 1: got to have a good night out to night. You
Speaker 1: middle schoolers out there, you still if any middle schoolers
Speaker 1: even listen to this podcast, you still spraining acts body,
Speaker 1: spray all over your body to like play it off
Speaker 1: like all this chick's gonna think I smell great, but
Speaker 1: really she doesn't, because it's like, hey, you kind of
Speaker 1: smell like my dad Hawthorne cologne. Listen, Why how do
Speaker 1: I like Hawthorn colone? Smelling good is important? Number one?
Speaker 1: Hawthorn smells really good. As Donald Trump would say, it
Speaker 1: smells really, really good, and that's important. You smell good,
Speaker 1: you feel good, you perform good. Hawthorn offers personalized skincare,
Speaker 1: face cleanser, face lotion tailored to your skin types and needs.
Speaker 1: On top of that Colonne that goods good smelling cologne.
Speaker 1: Here's how it works. It's like therapy. You take a
Speaker 1: quick two minute quiz and Hawthorn tells you the two
Speaker 1: cologns that are best for you, one for work and
Speaker 1: one for play. It's like getting to the to the
Speaker 1: root of what you need in life to smell good
Speaker 1: to succeed. Like I said, it's like therapy. You'll go
Speaker 1: through like a twelve step program and Hawthorne will figure
Speaker 1: out here is how we make this person smell absolutely incredible.
Speaker 1: It's totally the risk free with free shipping and free returns.
Speaker 1: Check out Hawthorn at Hawthorn dot co. That's Hawthorn with
Speaker 1: an E and use our promo code busing to get
Speaker 1: ten percent off your first purchase. That's h A W
Speaker 1: T H O R N E dot coco. You heard
Speaker 1: that right, and use code busting to get ten percent
Speaker 1: off your first purchase Hawthorne dot Co. So then when
Speaker 1: do you get that? So twenty sixteens of four games suspension,
Speaker 1: then you get a ten game suspension.
Speaker 2: Well, no new ten game. We just hop right to
Speaker 2: ban for at least a year after that?
Speaker 1: What year is at seven?
Speaker 3: That was seventeen Because it was like, so I like
Speaker 3: that thing we're talking about, like I'm trying to be
Speaker 3: all these tests like with the with doing all that stuff.
Speaker 3: I'm i would pass like one out of the week
Speaker 3: and even that be a miracle, but it would be
Speaker 3: like I'm still failing like multiple.
Speaker 1: They So where's your mental dispoint? Because when I was
Speaker 1: watching Hard Knocks, You're like there was a point to
Speaker 1: where I was like, I knew everybody wanted me to play,
Speaker 1: but if I could just drug, if I could just
Speaker 1: fail myself out of the league, then I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: a reason to tell anybody why I didn't want to
Speaker 1: play fooball anymore.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was just like, you know, I feel just like
Speaker 3: I came to this realization and it was just like
Speaker 3: I don't, if anything, I need to leave the league
Speaker 3: like and be away from this to like even try
Speaker 3: to get better. And it was like I feel like,
Speaker 3: you know, people have this fascination with the drug culture,
Speaker 3: and it's just like if you burn out on drugs,
Speaker 3: like some people even were just legends after burning out
Speaker 3: on drugs, and it's just like, if I just burned
Speaker 3: on drugs instead of just straight up instead of quitting,
Speaker 3: it look like a quitter.
Speaker 2: It's just like maybe people will look at me different.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's fucking deep.
Speaker 3: So I have my At the end of my second season,
Speaker 3: I tore my labor with like a month ago in
Speaker 3: the season. I played the rest of the season and
Speaker 3: then they're like, oh, you tore your labor and you
Speaker 3: gotta have surgery. It's like they gave me the bottle
Speaker 3: appeals and it's like, you know, thirty person there. I
Speaker 3: run through that shit in like two three days, and
Speaker 3: I'm right out in the streets like I'm in a
Speaker 3: hoo hood, like yeah, Baltimore in Baltimore, fine, really there
Speaker 3: was even there was even a there was even a
Speaker 3: dude like were you.
Speaker 1: Out there just rioting with Baltimore too?
Speaker 2: Nah? I feel like the riots go on.
Speaker 1: Like you just see Darren. What the fuck is Darren
Speaker 1: doing out there?
Speaker 2: But it's home.
Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, I'm in crazy parts where it's just
Speaker 3: like you ribe you ride the street for like ten minutes,
Speaker 3: it's boarded.
Speaker 2: It's boarded.
Speaker 3: There's no house with no windows, bro like for ten
Speaker 3: minutes driving like I'm down there like yo where they at?
Speaker 1: Yo? That.
Speaker 3: So it's like I'm purposely I'm purposely failing tests at
Speaker 3: that point, like after my second serion.
Speaker 1: Just you don't give a fuck anymore, like just put
Speaker 1: me out of my put me out of my misery.
Speaker 3: But yeah, but then it's like it's crazy, like I
Speaker 3: knew like I would have to do OTAs in mini
Speaker 3: camp before I'll get suspended. Like I was like, they're
Speaker 3: gonna suspend me in June, like I know how the
Speaker 3: ship's gonna go. And then it's like my shoulder heels
Speaker 3: and I go out there for OTAs. I'm just like, man,
Speaker 3: this is about to be the last time I ever
Speaker 3: played organized football, and like I'm just about to go
Speaker 3: out on a good note and be like fuck this ship.
Speaker 3: And I was just out there and I was killing
Speaker 3: them like yeah in practice, and OTA is just like
Speaker 3: what year is this right now? This is twenty seventeen
Speaker 3: seven spring, and it's just like I'm killing them. It's
Speaker 3: like we got a new uh tight end coach. He's
Speaker 3: the offensive coordinator for the ravens Now and it's like
Speaker 3: he's like, hey, man, like you about to go crazy
Speaker 3: this year, like we're about to like you about to
Speaker 3: be the guy like da da da da da, And
Speaker 3: it's just like damn, like I'm actually having fun playing
Speaker 3: the first time I really had fun, like overall playing
Speaker 3: football since middle school, like going into the freshman year
Speaker 3: and it was like damn it, it is fun, but it's
Speaker 3: like damn, but it's it's over.
Speaker 2: Like it's a rap.
Speaker 3: Like they finished suspend me like soon as you already knew,
Speaker 3: like right, and it's like there's no going back now,
Speaker 3: like so you.
Speaker 1: Balled and you're having fun in ots seventeen. Then they
Speaker 1: suspensed like the year long suspension on you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I told the coach right far. I was like, coach,
Speaker 3: like I ain't even gonna go home, like I'm at
Speaker 3: least be honest here. It's like they about to drop
Speaker 3: the hammer on me, Like I did it on purpose,
Speaker 3: like I wanted to be done.
Speaker 2: I didn't know I would have fun.
Speaker 1: But you you kept it real with him like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was like, I was like, coach, I'm about to
Speaker 3: get the suspension, Like they're about to hand it out.
Speaker 3: I don't know where it's gonna be, but they handed
Speaker 3: something out, like and the day after it was like damn,
Speaker 3: like a year long and it was just like man like.
Speaker 3: But when it like I knew I wanted, but then
Speaker 3: when it hit, it was like it wasn't my anticipated
Speaker 3: like damn, Like I was still like just even more anxious,
Speaker 3: like worried about what people thought. And it was like
Speaker 3: for two months even after that, I was still getting
Speaker 3: fucked up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so you're suspended all of seventeen.
Speaker 3: Ye, then what happens, So like those first two months
Speaker 3: of the suspension, I'm still getting sucked up, right, even
Speaker 3: more so than before. Yeah, and then it's like like
Speaker 3: I basically like have like an overdose in my car,
Speaker 3: Like in Baltimore, like a quarter mile.
Speaker 2: From the facility, in a grocery store.
Speaker 3: Parking lot, you had an overdose. Yeah, Like I didn't
Speaker 3: want to. I didn't think much into it, but the
Speaker 3: it was like once people kind of described like overdoses
Speaker 3: and it was like I got there. It was only
Speaker 3: like a minute away from my apartment. I could have drove,
Speaker 3: but like I didn't feel like I could move, and
Speaker 3: then it was like daytime. I went to sleep, woke
Speaker 3: up it was nighttime. And then in the parking lot,
Speaker 3: and then it was like damn, like I didn't tell
Speaker 3: anyone about it, and I felt like super weird. I
Speaker 3: was like cold and like just feeling completely out of it.
Speaker 3: And then there's like time after that. I was just
Speaker 3: like damn, like I I odeed in that parking lot.
Speaker 3: It was just like there's no one. You didn't get
Speaker 3: help at that moment. You just learned about it after
Speaker 3: the fact, and you're like, I fuck you put pieces together.
Speaker 3: It's like damn, like I didn't. I didn't just take
Speaker 3: ana in that parking lot. I didn't take that by choice.
Speaker 3: But then so it's like after that was like the
Speaker 3: kicking point, like I could have died. Yeah, after that,
Speaker 3: that was enough at that point, and then it's like
Speaker 3: I go home.
Speaker 1: What do you mean that was enough? You're saying that
Speaker 1: was that was your moment where you're like, yeah, for me,
Speaker 1: I'm a true junkie, Like I'm fucked.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm willing to try anything at this point, like
Speaker 3: what I'm doing, like I'm not I'm not in control.
Speaker 3: Like I always thought like I could like control my
Speaker 3: situation and get high and then like everything would work out.
Speaker 3: But it was like, not like this, it ain't working out,
Speaker 3: Like this is like this is a sign to no, bro,
Speaker 3: Like this.
Speaker 1: Is once you learned about the OD that's when you're like,
Speaker 1: this is the sign. No.
Speaker 3: I mean just even after the experience, I didn't even
Speaker 3: learn yet. It was like that happened and I was
Speaker 3: just like, bro, this is scary, Like I'm not doing
Speaker 3: this no more. Like I didn't tell nobody about it,
Speaker 3: but I knew it was how me. I was like
Speaker 3: something guy changed. And I went home and it was
Speaker 3: like I went to you went home in Atlanta and
Speaker 3: the league was still getting my toxicology.
Speaker 1: What time frame was this one was my in the car?
Speaker 2: That was August eleven, twenty seventeen.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, you know the day August eleven fifty. Then
Speaker 1: you go home win the next day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Because I was moving out of my apartment in Baltimore,
Speaker 3: it was like I was, yeah, you can't even go.
Speaker 3: And so it's like the league is still getting my
Speaker 3: tossed collegee results and they're like, we're scared for your life.
Speaker 3: You need to go to I went to this place
Speaker 3: in Atlanta, like a rehab facility, and I met with
Speaker 3: addiction specialist like when the counselor's there and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: and you'd like a profile on me. And I was
Speaker 3: like completely honest with him about like you know, being
Speaker 3: like socially anxious and just like being like.
Speaker 2: You're being liketed. Yeah, you're just all up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And he's like, you need to go to rehab asap, bro,
Speaker 3: like and I'm just like rehab, Like I'm not like that,
Speaker 3: like I could.
Speaker 2: I still I'm a professional athlete.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, providing all these images of to
Speaker 3: where it's like to make it seem like I'm not
Speaker 3: but I really am.
Speaker 2: But then he's like you need to go like da
Speaker 2: da da da.
Speaker 3: And I told my parents what they said, and my
Speaker 3: parents kept real with me about my family history and
Speaker 3: it's like addiction all over my family.
Speaker 2: And then it's just like, yo.
Speaker 1: Like when when when your parents found out did they
Speaker 1: have an idea you were like that or they were
Speaker 1: so caught off guard and then they.
Speaker 2: Just so your suspension hit.
Speaker 3: They was just like, bro, you are like well, they
Speaker 3: didn't really have much to say that they're just like yo,
Speaker 3: like what is going on? And it's just like then
Speaker 3: what But then like after I went to like I
Speaker 3: agreed to go to that place and they told me,
Speaker 3: like I need to go to rehab and I was
Speaker 3: like then they were like kind of saw like I
Speaker 3: guess like there was like one small step in the
Speaker 3: right direction. And then they told they were telling me
Speaker 3: about my family history and just how like it's all
Speaker 3: over my family history and it's just like it clicked
Speaker 3: for me then too, So it was like the experience
Speaker 3: of what happened in my car and then then tell
Speaker 3: me about my family. It was just like wow, like
Speaker 3: like it's like I gotta change, like something like something
Speaker 3: got to give, Like I can't keep doing what my
Speaker 3: family's doing and it's like killing my family off, and
Speaker 3: so like I gotta go do this. And I went
Speaker 3: to rehabit and it was like it was fire. Rehab
Speaker 3: was fire, Like yes in what way? It was just
Speaker 3: like I never put time into like working on myself
Speaker 3: or like you know, thinking for myself like what did
Speaker 3: I want, Like what did I want to do? Like
Speaker 3: how am I feeling? Like addressing those feelings which is
Speaker 3: always like suppressing them and so it was just a
Speaker 3: great experience and just like open up and not have
Speaker 3: any pressure of trying to impress people. Like I was
Speaker 3: there and it was just like, you know, I enjoyed.
Speaker 3: Like I started, I watched all I watched every Ravens
Speaker 3: game every Sunday in rehab, like just put my laptop out,
Speaker 3: watch the game. How long were you in rehab, like
Speaker 3: thirty five days?
Speaker 1: And just like you're talking about the therapists there and
Speaker 1: everybody you're kind of talking to, You're like diving so
Speaker 1: deep into the root of like who you are. You're like,
Speaker 1: that's what that's what, that's what makes it, that's what
Speaker 1: made it fire. That's what made it such a positive experience.
Speaker 2: Yes, it was just like complete game changer, complete game changer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's incredible.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I came home and it was like, I'm a.
Speaker 1: That's crazy, right, Oh, that's so dope.
Speaker 3: I'm coming home, Like I come home from rehab and
Speaker 3: it's like like, sorry, I started going to like A
Speaker 3: and NA meetings in rehab.
Speaker 1: Now, hang on. You went to rehab towards the end
Speaker 1: of August through the end of like you know, to
Speaker 1: October or something. Yep, Okay, so you went right in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then yeah, I could start going to meetings
Speaker 3: while I'm there, and so when I come out, it's
Speaker 3: like kind of put a plan together. It's like the
Speaker 3: same place I went to meet with the addiction guys,
Speaker 3: Like I'm going to small group therapy once a week there,
Speaker 3: and it's like I'm going to two to three NA
Speaker 3: meetings every week when I get out. So it's like,
Speaker 3: all right, like I'm kind of rocking with how it's
Speaker 3: making me feel like, it's forcing me to be uncomfortable,
Speaker 3: it's forcing me to talk about things that I don't
Speaker 3: want to talk about. But once I get those things
Speaker 3: out there, it's like I feel different, I feel like,
Speaker 3: you know. And so I kept with that when I
Speaker 3: got home, and then my parents nobody went to church with.
Speaker 3: Who was a store manager at Sprouts Farmer's Market grocery store. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I got a job there at grocery clerk.
Speaker 1: During the season of twenty eighteen.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I started working there like Thanksgiving time in twenty seventeen.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah, my fault because you're suspended.
Speaker 3: That whole year that's trough twenty seventeen. I worked through
Speaker 3: there till like the end of April. So I worked
Speaker 3: there for like six seven months almost.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I dropped the bar on it in in my project.
Speaker 3: I was like, I was only making eleven fifty by
Speaker 3: the hour. You could check the wage fee. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: was making eleven fifty of working at Sprouts.
Speaker 1: And You're going to all these meetings every week.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going to meetings like when I get out
Speaker 3: or like before I go in, because like I started,
Speaker 3: like my first day working there, they had me working
Speaker 3: like I got there like at night and had to
Speaker 3: work through the morning, and I was just like, I
Speaker 3: can't do this, Like just let me come in the
Speaker 3: afternoon and close the shop at night and I'll be straight.
Speaker 3: And they're like all right, So I'll go to meetings
Speaker 3: like before that or like the days I wasn't working,
Speaker 3: I would go to meetings in the evening. And so
Speaker 3: I was just doing that working at Sprouts, and it
Speaker 3: was just like I started developing like a self respect
Speaker 3: for myself. It was like the regardless of everything that's happened,
Speaker 3: it's like you're not choosing to think what people think
Speaker 3: about you. You're just in your zone and you're working
Speaker 3: to better yourself. And so I was like honestly happier
Speaker 3: with myself. Had more respect for myself there than when
Speaker 3: I was like in the league playing football, like it.
Speaker 1: Was going to sprouts and doing your thing and just.
Speaker 2: Like looking at yourself in the mirror, shot out sprouts.
Speaker 1: No free Shoto gotta say that you can't just shout
Speaker 1: out sprouts. But you know that's that's un that's unreal.
Speaker 2: Dude.
Speaker 1: When you got out of rehab, were you nervous to
Speaker 1: like go back out.
Speaker 2: And yeah, but it was like.
Speaker 1: I kind of be around people who you're like all.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, the first the first six months, it was like.
Speaker 3: I couldn't be around like things that were like people
Speaker 3: like being used in or anything. Like everytime I opened
Speaker 3: like the medicine cabinet, I'll just be like I had
Speaker 3: to shut it like dead ass. Like I would just
Speaker 3: be like and so, and then I'll be like super
Speaker 3: envious to people. It would be like, Yo, they can
Speaker 3: get fucked up all the time, like nothing happens like
Speaker 3: I get sucked up. I'm not even an asshole when
Speaker 3: I get sucked up. But I always seem to get
Speaker 3: in trouble out. Something always seems to go wrong.
Speaker 1: And it's just like because for you it'll spiral.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's just like why can't I do that?
Speaker 3: But then like after like six months, like the first
Speaker 3: six months, I was just like going to meetings, but
Speaker 3: I wasn't like working the twelve Steps. When I started
Speaker 3: working the twelve Steps, it was like just like unlocked
Speaker 3: shit even more for me because it's just just like
Speaker 3: a deep dive into who you are, Like you don't
Speaker 3: even have to be a drug addict to like do
Speaker 3: twelve steps, but it's like that kind of shit like
Speaker 3: unlocked me even more. And it was like after that,
Speaker 3: it was just like I realized, like, man, I'm not
Speaker 3: getting anywhere with that, Like that's not my purpose for
Speaker 3: me to be here. It's not to just for me
Speaker 3: to get high and just like fulfill myself and just
Speaker 3: like so I can feel better. It's about you know,
Speaker 3: just like or it's like overcoming that shit. Like it's
Speaker 3: like like we got bigger shit to do. Like it
Speaker 3: started to it started to resonate with me. It's like
Speaker 3: like I'm not a normal person, so I can't be
Speaker 3: acting like normal people.
Speaker 2: That's when it started clicking.
Speaker 3: And then it's just like ever since then, it was
Speaker 3: like the first six months, so I didn't want to
Speaker 3: didn't want to train.
Speaker 2: Really. I started kind of working out. I couldn't make
Speaker 2: it through workouts. I got hurt.
Speaker 3: But then there's like once it started opening up for me,
Speaker 3: I was like I'm not normal, Like I can't be
Speaker 3: doing things that normal people were doing. I got back
Speaker 3: into training and I was like just grinding like crazy,
Speaker 3: and then it was just like it's just shit just
Speaker 3: started clicking on so many levels and it was just
Speaker 3: like oh, like it was like.
Speaker 2: I was clean.
Speaker 3: So it was like I know, I'm on my p's
Speaker 3: and q's like when reinstatement hearing comes up, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: get reinstated, so I might as well get ready.
Speaker 2: And it's like now I want to be back and
Speaker 2: it's like okay.
Speaker 1: You're like itching to kind of play ball again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like like let's lock, let's get it. And then
Speaker 3: it's like I got reinstated in August. It was like
Speaker 3: August ninth of twenty eighteen. It was like they had
Speaker 3: already been done a couple of weeks of training camp.
Speaker 3: I came in. People on a team light they've seen
Speaker 3: a ghost when I came in, because it was just
Speaker 3: like I just kind of disappeared with no nob you
Speaker 3: were going for an entire year and didn't tell anyone,
Speaker 3: like it just happened.
Speaker 2: And then it's nobody really.
Speaker 1: Knew what you went through either, like the rehab and
Speaker 1: all that. Maybe maybe a couple of guys, but you're
Speaker 1: just kind of kind I.
Speaker 2: Don't think anybody did. I ain't talk to nobody in
Speaker 2: the team.
Speaker 1: No onehew, you were working at Sprouts, no one there.
Speaker 1: You went thirty five days of rehab and then a
Speaker 1: whole year passes, and you fucking come back and you're
Speaker 1: you're like primed.
Speaker 2: Like I came into training camp.
Speaker 3: Brother, they thought, I mean, most people will think that
Speaker 3: it's like, all right, he'd been out suspended life for
Speaker 3: he's finna be come back, and he's not finna have
Speaker 3: it like he' finla lost a step.
Speaker 2: He sure playing like a drug addict.
Speaker 1: Somebody somebody, yeah, somebody competing with you. Like I'm not
Speaker 1: too worried.
Speaker 3: I came in the first day of training, came with
Speaker 3: cooking everybody, and they were just like, oh man, because
Speaker 3: they had drafted the two tight ends, rookie tight ends,
Speaker 3: Mark Andrews and Hayden Hurst were really good players, so
Speaker 3: they're invested in them, and it's like I'm there, and
Speaker 3: it's just like I think it just kind of threw
Speaker 3: a wrench of all their planning and like, dang, like
Speaker 3: we gotta like because then after that, it was just
Speaker 3: like the practice reps went down in the game, We're
Speaker 3: not getting no burned to the end, and it's just like,
Speaker 3: I think I got one target the whole preseason. So
Speaker 3: it was just like a business loop on their part
Speaker 3: to hide me because they knew I still had it,
Speaker 3: but they were like and they knew nobody would touch me.
Speaker 3: So I was like, I was just like probably the
Speaker 3: best insurance policy that anyone could have a tight end
Speaker 3: in the league being on practice squad with Ravens there,
Speaker 3: because they cut me and put me on practice squad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and talk about just for a tangent, just for
Speaker 1: a second, Like teams will do that, like if you're
Speaker 1: you're a beast, like say, yeah, I mean you were
Speaker 1: in a rook at this point, but a lot of
Speaker 1: rookies say they go undrafted or their later rounds or
Speaker 1: something like, they will suppress their reps and not show
Speaker 1: them off in the preseason games because they want to
Speaker 1: sneak them onto a practice squad, so they don't want
Speaker 1: other thirty the other thirty one teams that like have
Speaker 1: much film on them, so guys will be like stress, like, Yo,
Speaker 1: I'm fucking I've been showing everything in training camp play.
Speaker 1: I don't see why I'm not getting any player getting
Speaker 1: any reps in the preseason games and you know not
Speaker 1: come to find out. But like what teams are doing
Speaker 1: is they're trying not to show any of the any
Speaker 1: of that product on the field, so they can sneak
Speaker 1: you on a practice squad. So the the way they
Speaker 1: can make room for somebody who's kind of a fenced
Speaker 1: player and see if they can pan out. If they don't,
Speaker 1: they'll cut that dude and move that dude up from
Speaker 1: practice squad. But they don't want you to go away,
Speaker 1: so that's why they won't play you in the preseason.
Speaker 2: Yep. So I wouldn't getting no burn. Like it was
Speaker 2: like people were watching the game.
Speaker 3: It's just like looking out for me, like when you're
Speaker 3: gonna get in And I was like, bro, I have
Speaker 3: no idea.
Speaker 1: But you're cooking everybody in practice your Yeah, Like that.
Speaker 2: First day, it was it was just known and everybody
Speaker 2: was just like shit, he's back.
Speaker 3: And then like after that, it was just like it
Speaker 3: wasn't like getting at like my reps kind of decreased.
Speaker 3: You still get a lot of working in training. Campus
Speaker 3: are trying to rest them guys. But when it came
Speaker 3: to the games, I wasn't getting a lot of playing time.
Speaker 3: And you know, I respected it because I knew what
Speaker 3: it was and like my mind, my mind frame was different.
Speaker 3: It was like, Okay, like this is how it's gonna be.
Speaker 3: Like just because I got reinstated didn't mean like the
Speaker 3: red carp was gonna get rolled out and like I'm
Speaker 3: about to be like this guy's like I'm back. No,
Speaker 3: it's just it's gonna be it's gonna keep getting harder.
Speaker 3: It's just like but it was like the like, you know,
Speaker 3: the experience in my car and then working as sprouts,
Speaker 3: that was all the humbling that I needed. Like that
Speaker 3: those two experiences humbled me to where it was just like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm going the practice squad. I'm gonna make the most
Speaker 3: out of this sweat anything. I'm not about to be
Speaker 3: like they gotta be on the practice squad.
Speaker 1: I'm this.
Speaker 2: I did this.
Speaker 3: They know who I am. I didn't think none of that.
Speaker 3: I was just like this is where I'm at. Cool,
Speaker 3: like lock in. I'm going to the number one defense
Speaker 3: in practice every day of practice during the week. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna if I cook them, if if it's God's will
Speaker 3: for me to play after that, then I'm gonna play.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be ready because I'm playing number one defense
Speaker 3: every day in the league, no doubt.
Speaker 2: C J.
Speaker 3: Mosley is a Darius Smith on the Green Bay Packers,
Speaker 3: Tony Jefferson, Eric Weddle, Jimmy Smith, Marlon Humphrey, like the
Speaker 3: top defense in the league. And so it's like I'm
Speaker 3: going against them every day and it's like battling. It's
Speaker 3: like I'm winning there, winning and it's like I kept
Speaker 3: getting better every week every week.
Speaker 2: Then it's like I.
Speaker 3: Had one week it was like I think it was
Speaker 3: the week where the Raiders played the Ravens, and I
Speaker 3: was just like damn, like like I'm doing good, like
Speaker 3: I'm staying built up.
Speaker 2: I'm positive.
Speaker 3: Where it's like maybe I'm not, maybe I'm not meant
Speaker 3: to play enough the game again, like but I am
Speaker 3: enjoying being at practice and just like playing the art
Speaker 3: just it's just the craft of football, and it's like,
Speaker 3: so I'm enjoying that. And then it's like before all
Speaker 3: the games, I would me and RG three, would you
Speaker 3: know everybody's throwing a T shirt and shorts?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we would throw. Everyone would throw, and then after
Speaker 2: everyone went inside me and RG three. Then sometimes there's
Speaker 2: why she was Jordan Lesley. We would throw like an
Speaker 2: extra twenty, like an extra twenty routes to catch an
Speaker 2: extra twenty balls from RG three.
Speaker 3: Yeah shout three, yes, sir, shout three three, and we
Speaker 3: would get working and it was just like so before
Speaker 3: the Raiders game, it was just like I think only
Speaker 3: was they were just out there just like I don't
Speaker 3: know what they were doing their warm ups, but they
Speaker 3: looked over and saw me working out. They was like,
Speaker 3: who is that running around on Who's only Greg Olsen,
Speaker 3: the offensive coordinator for the Raiders, Okay, and he's like,
Speaker 3: who is that running around over there? And then it
Speaker 3: and then it turns out like Frank, who was my
Speaker 3: tight end coach, knew me because he was a tight
Speaker 3: end coach in Chicago, and apparently they were looking at
Speaker 3: trying to get me, but they couldn't. Like before I
Speaker 3: got suspended or whatever. Then he was like that's uh,
Speaker 3: that's Darren Waller, like he's uh no, tight end d D.
Speaker 3: And then it's like after that, it was like the game,
Speaker 3: I'm staying on the sideline watching the Raiders play the Ravens.
Speaker 2: And then the next day in.
Speaker 3: The morning, I got my window in my side window
Speaker 3: knocked off my jeep, so I had to go to like.
Speaker 2: This collision center.
Speaker 3: So I'm there early in the morning, like trying to
Speaker 3: get a new mirror, get an estimate. My agent hits
Speaker 3: me is like the Raiders are putting you on their
Speaker 3: active roster, and it's like like you're probably gonna leave today,
Speaker 3: and it's just like I'm just like wait, what, Like
Speaker 3: I had no.
Speaker 2: It's like I get back and talk to him.
Speaker 3: It's like yeah, They're like they're signing you to the
Speaker 3: active roster, like they want you to leave in a
Speaker 3: few hours. And then it's like the rule where you know,
Speaker 3: if somebody activates you off the practice squad, your own
Speaker 3: team can activate you too, And so Harball was like
Speaker 3: the whole time, they'd been like, man, like you know,
Speaker 3: if somebody goes down, you'll be the next guy up,
Speaker 3: Like you'll be ready da da dah.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, did they try to up your pay
Speaker 1: on practice squad? Na to match? Because sometimes if they
Speaker 1: don't want guys to go, they'll match the practice squad's salary.
Speaker 1: Like I think you get paid one twelve or one
Speaker 1: oh two on practice squad, they'll match like four or
Speaker 1: five hundred thousand dollars, so you don't leave and stay.
Speaker 2: I ain't getting none of that.
Speaker 1: You didn't get none of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And it was like something like something
Speaker 3: with my signing bonus where like I didn't play a
Speaker 3: certain amount of games or something where they were recanning
Speaker 3: money for my signing bonus, so they were cutting my
Speaker 3: practice squad checking half. I was making like sixty six
Speaker 3: before taxes, so.
Speaker 2: I wasn't making it. I was making pay Yeah. And
Speaker 2: then but.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so then they like, I'm like, yo, I harbor
Speaker 3: my agents, Like Harball is gonna call you. And it's
Speaker 3: like he calls me. It's just like, hey, like you
Speaker 3: should stay. Like the next week we're playing in the
Speaker 3: in Atlanta. He was like, you'll be in your hometown,
Speaker 3: you'll be active, you'll be playing. He's like, I've been
Speaker 3: waiting for this opportunity, cause they've been told me like
Speaker 3: we're trying to get you up, We're trying to get
Speaker 3: you up, and I'm just.
Speaker 2: Like it's in one year out the other.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like if you want to give me up, give me.
Speaker 3: Because they see what I'm doing in practice, and it's
Speaker 3: just like okay, like when these things are out of
Speaker 3: my control. And so he's like you should stay. Like
Speaker 3: he's like, then it's like you don't know what's going
Speaker 3: to happen out there when you go to Oakland, Like
Speaker 3: you don't know like what that situation is going to
Speaker 3: be like. And I'm just like, you know, I need
Speaker 3: some maybe I need some uncertainty, like I know what
Speaker 3: my situation is like here's because it's like, you know,
Speaker 3: we got two young studs here and and y'all feeding
Speaker 3: them and they're getting better. So it's like I'm not
Speaker 3: finna crack into what they're getting and y'all, y'all already
Speaker 3: financially invested in them, so I'm finna go see what
Speaker 3: this is looking like. And then so I'm like, yo,
Speaker 3: I'm going like I'm not I'm not staying. And then
Speaker 3: like I go to Oakland the next day, I get
Speaker 3: there for I'm practicing the next day and it's like,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm like fucking like, we're here now, we
Speaker 3: gotta keep the fucking door in. It's just like I'm
Speaker 3: going hard at practice, bro like hard.
Speaker 2: And then there's a.
Speaker 3: Couple dus out there. They're like, yo, like chill out,
Speaker 3: like what's going on? Like I was like, no, this
Speaker 3: how this is how I'm used to in Baltimore. But
Speaker 3: it's like it just turned up from there. Like I
Speaker 3: didn't like the first game. I sat out because I
Speaker 3: got there and I just had to like learn to
Speaker 3: playbook and stuff. Then the next week I got in there,
Speaker 3: I was playing a few players. I got there on
Speaker 3: special teams and people didn't know I played gunner in
Speaker 3: my first two years in Baltimore.
Speaker 1: Yo, a tight end out there had fucking Gunner.
Speaker 2: Dude, I was playing gunner and I had like quite
Speaker 2: a few tackles at it.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, who we got. We got to a couple
Speaker 1: of tackles ship.
Speaker 3: But they had but Rich was like, like, what position
Speaker 3: you play? I was like, I played gunner and he
Speaker 3: was like, you don't play gunner. Then he went out
Speaker 3: and found film because like my second year, we had
Speaker 3: played Dallas when Rich was there and I was out
Speaker 3: there at Gunner, like running down there on Gunner, and
Speaker 3: he was like, you did play Gunner.
Speaker 1: It's against him because he was on he was coaching
Speaker 1: the Cowboys at the time.
Speaker 3: So I got there in the Steeters game and like
Speaker 3: they tried to dope me outside and I just like
Speaker 3: threw both dudes to the ground, like were into the ball,
Speaker 3: and they were just like, what is happening? And I'm
Speaker 3: just like I'm just like trying to take advantage of everything,
Speaker 3: like I'm just like flying around.
Speaker 1: And then in the in your off time too, is
Speaker 1: this when you're really getting into music?
Speaker 2: I wasn't really.
Speaker 3: I wasn't really doing any music when I was there,
Speaker 3: Like for when I got practice squad, like I was
Speaker 3: making beasts. Like I was staying with my aunt and
Speaker 3: uncle in Maryland, like you have my own crib, and
Speaker 3: I was in their basement just making beats the whole time.
Speaker 3: But I got the Oakland, I was like, you were
Speaker 3: locked in on Oaka. I was like out here for
Speaker 3: five game, playing five games and we just locked in.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then after that second game where I got in
Speaker 3: and played a little bit, we played at Cincinnati, and
Speaker 3: I touched the ball twice and the first one was
Speaker 3: they handed me like a jet suite out of like
Speaker 3: a three tight end personnel and I ran for like
Speaker 3: twenty five something.
Speaker 2: Yards and everybody was just like what is Like what
Speaker 2: is this?
Speaker 3: And it's just like and then the second time I
Speaker 3: caught like a shallow crossroud, I ran for like forty
Speaker 3: five yards, like all the way down to the goal line,
Speaker 3: and it's just like at that moment, I was like,
Speaker 3: I ain't played organized football in two years, but I
Speaker 3: was like, I like I'm here, like I know, like
Speaker 3: it's time now.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yo, that's fucking awesome. Man. Then you so you
Speaker 1: finished up the year with Oakland. Everybody's obviously excited about
Speaker 1: you probably going into the next year. What is your
Speaker 1: battle like with substances or being around guys or anything
Speaker 1: like that? At this point? Are you pretty locked in
Speaker 1: and you're not really uh, you're not really giving an
Speaker 1: opportunity for it, Like you're in the extended, say I
Speaker 1: assume even.
Speaker 2: Though no I'm not. I'm in Atlanta right.
Speaker 1: Now when you're in those last five games, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was at the extending Yeah, that's what I'm saying. How
Speaker 1: was your what was your mental like with like drugs
Speaker 1: and stuff or alcohol or anything. Were you just not
Speaker 1: even giving it an opportunity.
Speaker 3: It wasn't even I was going to meetings. I was
Speaker 3: locked in feeling good on my recovery year, and you're.
Speaker 1: Like feeling good about Darren Waller, Like it wasn't even
Speaker 1: a thought in your mind, right.
Speaker 3: And then it's like you get around guys and just
Speaker 3: like we kind of have like Bible study and like
Speaker 3: kind of like like you just be like open floor
Speaker 3: like talking and I would just kind of like you know,
Speaker 3: say something, say something about like what I was going through,
Speaker 3: what I had gone through. Like the first time, people
Speaker 3: were just kind of like whoa, Like you're really talking
Speaker 3: about this ship and I was just like.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sitting here on the bus like yo, man,
Speaker 1: it's open.
Speaker 3: But then after that, like people were like, you know,
Speaker 3: they'll walk me, and like it was just like I
Speaker 3: could say anything and they were just like hey, like
Speaker 3: like like that's real, Like we just they're just listening
Speaker 3: to me. They weren't judging me or anything. And so
Speaker 3: it's like once I realized that, it was just like
Speaker 3: it made me want to be build more relationships with
Speaker 3: the team and just be more open around the team.
Speaker 3: And then that turned into you know, like the extra
Speaker 3: time I put in and it's just like I'm doing
Speaker 3: it for guys.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm doing it for the team.
Speaker 3: And it's like whereas before it's like also wrapped up
Speaker 3: with myself and just like I'm trying to get high,
Speaker 3: like the world is caving down on me. I'm just
Speaker 3: so worried about myself. I wasn't really worried about anybody else,
Speaker 3: and now it's real, man, So it's like that kind
Speaker 3: of opened up for me. It's just like okay, like
Speaker 3: so I'm just playing for it's bigger than me.
Speaker 2: Now. That's when it started clicking in and it's just like,
Speaker 2: you know, keep building on it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna hold that thought and read a couple ads
Speaker 1: for the boys and pay, you know, pay a couple
Speaker 1: of bills. You guys know the drill simply safe. Listen,
Speaker 1: there's two types of people in this world. There's the
Speaker 1: person that uses a traditional way to call installation people
Speaker 1: technicians to do a terrible installation that caused a small fortune.
Speaker 1: We've all been there. A lot of those Internet companies
Speaker 1: do it. I don't want to point in their fingers.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: We're not gonna go down the rabbit hole. But you
Speaker 1: guys know I'm talking about. And then there's the other person,
Speaker 1: the other person that gets it and uses Simply Safe.
Speaker 1: Simply Safe is everything you need in a home security system.
Speaker 1: It has a war winning production and is a two
Speaker 1: time winner of c NET Shoutout Ceet No Free Shoutouts
Speaker 1: Editor's Choice Award. Simply Safe blankets your whole home in safety.
Speaker 1: You barely notice it's there. The best part about it
Speaker 1: is anyone can do it. You can set it up
Speaker 1: all by yourself. You're probably wondering, will did you set
Speaker 1: yours up?
Speaker 2: I did not.
Speaker 1: I am lazy. I will pay people to do that
Speaker 1: stuff because I'm lazy. There's absolutely no trade offs for
Speaker 1: your safety. You'll have an entire army of highly transsecurity
Speaker 1: experts ready to dispatch police to your home at a
Speaker 1: moment's notice twenty four to seven, and it's only fifty
Speaker 1: cents a day with zero contracts. The Verge shout Out
Speaker 1: versis No Free Shoutouts call Simply Safe the best home
Speaker 1: security system on the planet. It's got outdoor cameras, doorbell
Speaker 1: alerts anyone approaching your home, entury motion and glass break sensors,
Speaker 1: guard inside everything. They got it all, dude, they probably
Speaker 1: got fucking dogs instead of your house. Twenty four seven.
Speaker 1: All you got to do is go to simply say
Speaker 1: dot com slash bussing and you'll get free shipping any
Speaker 1: sixty day risk free trial that is simply s I
Speaker 1: m p l I safe dot com slash busting for
Speaker 1: a sixty day risk free trial and free shipping. Go
Speaker 1: there now, don't miss out on this opportunity. And then
Speaker 1: you have your off season with the Raiders and this
Speaker 1: is twenty nineteen, and then you go through training camp
Speaker 1: and you get a contract extension. When you said when.
Speaker 2: You got after the first after like the fifth game.
Speaker 1: And you're just you're just a monster in training camp
Speaker 1: and everything. I was watching because I was watching your
Speaker 1: Hard Knocks thing last night, It's like, yo, the boy
Speaker 1: Darren's a beast.
Speaker 2: And it was it was just bro.
Speaker 3: It was just really weird because it's just like I
Speaker 3: never started or nothing, but I was just like I
Speaker 3: was just like ready for it. I don't know, it
Speaker 3: was just it's still hard for me to wrap my
Speaker 3: mind around all of that. I'm just like, how fast
Speaker 3: everything kind of happened?
Speaker 2: Yeah. But but yeah, then.
Speaker 1: I saw the Madden guys ask you about your sixteenth
Speaker 1: Madden rating. You're like, yeah, it should be that, and
Speaker 1: you didn't bother you.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean what do you think?
Speaker 1: What do you think it should be now?
Speaker 2: I mean we got to be up around like mid
Speaker 2: eighties right now, don't we.
Speaker 1: I think so? I think so and Campbells were talking
Speaker 1: about it. How many tight ends? Where do you think
Speaker 1: you rank at the tight end world after this.
Speaker 2: Year you had?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: I mean it's a lot of good tight ends.
Speaker 1: Brou You know who you know who's coming on the
Speaker 1: bus Monday? George Kittle? Nice So Kittle will be on
Speaker 1: so that'll be dope. He's actually he lives out here,
Speaker 1: oh in Nashville, so that'll be a good one.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But we were talking him like, yo, man, he's got
Speaker 1: to be top five. Yeah, he's saying top three. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's just you just don't know all the tight ends
Speaker 1: that are. I can't like remember all the names that
Speaker 1: are out there. But yeah, the boy's a beast.
Speaker 2: He's had a good tight ends though.
Speaker 1: Shout at him, Yeah, shout out to the tight ends. Man,
Speaker 1: We're about to be a little tight end you and him.
Speaker 1: We got him and George Kittle back to back. Wow,
Speaker 1: We're going to try to get Cayle Rudolph on. We
Speaker 1: met him out of Miami. You know, this pod fires
Speaker 1: me up. What makes you want to be so open
Speaker 1: about it? Honestly? What makes you like want to answer
Speaker 1: all these questions and be so truthful and kind of
Speaker 1: get your story out there like you you basically have
Speaker 1: on this pod.
Speaker 3: So once I kind of said like things like bigger
Speaker 3: than me, I kind of looked and started tapping into
Speaker 3: the mind of someone that was me when I was
Speaker 3: like fifteen, and I was just like, told you, it
Speaker 3: was just like I felt like I had nothing going on.
Speaker 3: It's like somebody's people are feeling like that, whatever age
Speaker 3: they're at, and it's just like you just come out
Speaker 3: and keep it real and like let people know that
Speaker 3: just because I got a certain occupation or people look
Speaker 3: at me a certain type of way, don't mean I'm
Speaker 3: not a real person that's been through some real things.
Speaker 3: So it's like, what's let it be known you could
Speaker 3: be you can still be successful after you fuck everything up,
Speaker 3: after you you know, have nothing going on, like you
Speaker 3: can still get back up on your feet and still
Speaker 3: like you know, do whatever you want to do, like
Speaker 3: still like you know, chase after what you truly want,
Speaker 3: what you want your life to be, Like it's never
Speaker 3: like over for you.
Speaker 2: So it's like I feel like it would be a.
Speaker 3: Shame if I didn't say nothing, Like if I was
Speaker 3: just quiet and like no I'm not talking about.
Speaker 2: It, that I would be like that'd be a shame.
Speaker 1: I feel like, do you speak?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I started sharing that like recovery meetings, and then.
Speaker 3: I was like I share that like my high school
Speaker 3: and sharing that schools, like sharing that some some camps
Speaker 3: like in the Atlanta area. Yeah, any opportunity somebody gives
Speaker 3: me to speak, I'm all over it.
Speaker 1: That's awesome, man, I did. I'm fired up for you.
Speaker 1: I didn't know any of this stuff about you, Like
Speaker 1: I knew obviously watching a couple of videos and literally
Speaker 1: like when I see the videos, like when I'm watching
Speaker 1: it last night before you come on, I'm just like, Yo,
Speaker 1: that's you know, I'm thinking, like that's my boy. Like
Speaker 1: I met and had no idea that this was his
Speaker 1: story or his life, like just because again, we were
Speaker 1: in the Extended's day and we were just teammates and
Speaker 1: kind of, you know, friends, like you were like one
Speaker 1: of my friends like throughout the rest of the year
Speaker 1: on the Raiders. I'm like, yeah, it's what's crazy about
Speaker 1: no fucking clue.
Speaker 2: There's people I had I.
Speaker 3: Was like best friends with for since I was a kid,
Speaker 3: like for double digit years, and then here to shit
Speaker 3: come out there like I didn't even know. So it's
Speaker 3: like I'm not talking. I wasn't talking to nobody about nothing.
Speaker 3: It was just like, you know, I was just in
Speaker 3: my own world, just hidding.
Speaker 1: And that's super real because so many people go through
Speaker 1: things and me, I've you know, fortunately, I haven't been
Speaker 1: down or beens that involved in something that that abusive
Speaker 1: or anything like that. But people have so many like
Speaker 1: real thoughts and emotions that stays kind of suppressed. And
Speaker 1: then when people you kind of just talk to friends
Speaker 1: or group of people about it and you're kind of like, oh,
Speaker 1: that person's kind of like me in this sense, or
Speaker 1: all these insecurities you learn about somebody and you're like, Yo,
Speaker 1: humans are just fucking humans, dude. Yo, that's wild man.
Speaker 1: I'm stoked you came on. I can literally I blush
Speaker 1: the show over at eighty minutes. I could talk. I
Speaker 1: could sit here the rest of the fucking day with
Speaker 1: you and talk about you know what I'm saying. Done? Oh,
Speaker 1: hands down. Wow. I wish the Boy was here. I
Speaker 1: mean hopefully you know he listens. But I'm fired up
Speaker 1: about this man. I'm like, there's so many things I
Speaker 1: feel like I want to ask and I'm not thinking
Speaker 1: about do you can you guys think of anything? I
Speaker 1: know you had a bunch like we shouted you out
Speaker 1: on Twitter, free shout outs you're the boy and they're
Speaker 1: I mean, you had a lot of traction. People wanted
Speaker 1: to ask questions and learn about you. Do you want
Speaker 1: to bring some of them up?
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a few fan questions. Uh do you have
Speaker 4: a favorite John Gruden story?
Speaker 2: Oh? There we go, Yo. It's a lot of stuff
Speaker 2: that Darren waller Man.
Speaker 1: Nah.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'll probably say my favorite is.
Speaker 1: Darren waller Man making some big plays over overcoming the adversity.
Speaker 1: Knock on wood if you're with me, knock on wood
Speaker 1: for Darren waller Man.
Speaker 2: I mean, I just remember, like when I first got there,
Speaker 2: he was just like.
Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, knock on wood.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Gruden.
Speaker 3: When I first got there, like all the practice squad,
Speaker 3: he was like, you're gonna do great things for He's
Speaker 3: gonna be great, and it's just like I wouldn't even
Speaker 3: think like that, and I was just like, let's just
Speaker 3: not fuck this up this time.
Speaker 2: That's just like the time, man, let's just not ruin it.
Speaker 3: Like I feel like I could do good enough if
Speaker 3: we just don't ruin it myself, like yeah, my own way.
Speaker 3: But Gruden's like talking like greatness out the gate, and
Speaker 3: I'm just like I can't comprehend it. Like he kind
Speaker 3: of fires you up right, and it's like the whole
Speaker 3: off season he's just like gassing me up like publicly,
Speaker 3: and I'm just like in my mind, I'm just like yo,
Speaker 3: like Gruden like ch like then it's just like, you know,
Speaker 3: he could see that in me, and it's like once
Speaker 3: I start seeing it myself, it was just like, you know,
Speaker 3: it's like had that connection. But he would have just
Speaker 3: like a new nickname for me every week.
Speaker 1: That's why, Yeah, he fires me up man, Like you know,
Speaker 1: I'm mid year free agent, thirty years old, like note
Speaker 1: wondering if it might be my last year since I'm
Speaker 1: a midyear guy, you know what I mean, Like you
Speaker 1: kind of go through nobody picks you up. I was
Speaker 1: with the Saints for a second injured my ankle, so
Speaker 1: I was I had an injury settlement and was kind
Speaker 1: of working through that tailgating with the bus at Nashville
Speaker 1: with the Titan Titan Stadium Raiders end up calling and
Speaker 1: bringing me out there because Jay Gruden probably put in
Speaker 1: a good word for the boy. Shout out Jay Gruden
Speaker 1: out there to his brother John. I get out there
Speaker 1: and John, like coach Cruden, he just immediately kind of
Speaker 1: fires you up the content. I'm fucking glad you're here. Man.
Speaker 1: You're gonna love this plot spot way more than anywhere
Speaker 1: else you've been. And I'm like fired up with my
Speaker 1: hey uh uh. Brother wanted me to put in a
Speaker 1: good word. He said he'd intern for you because Jay
Speaker 1: had just gotten fired from the Redskins, and I'm like, hey, Jap,
Speaker 1: He's like, hey, you want to know if he can
Speaker 1: get an intern job out of here with you, like
Speaker 1: laughing and stuff. But he fires you up, dude, Like
Speaker 1: I don't know how to explain it, Like he's like
Speaker 1: speaking greatness into you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just like people kind of think like because
Speaker 3: when he came from Monday Night Football, he signed like
Speaker 3: a like a for a bag, like yeah, and a
Speaker 3: hundred million.
Speaker 2: People were just like, you know this just for his profile.
Speaker 3: It's just like he just doing this so like so
Speaker 3: his name gets up like he's doing it for himself.
Speaker 3: But it's like now he really cares, like he really
Speaker 3: fucking came out there, and he'd be out there in
Speaker 3: the walkthrough. It's like he has his next sweat, Like
Speaker 3: he'd just be sweating like in the walkthrough and like
Speaker 3: coaching and like going through the plays like all the
Speaker 3: details and it's like you can't do that if you
Speaker 3: don't care.
Speaker 1: And he tells his players he loves them all the time.
Speaker 3: Right, And it's just like he's so invested. It's like
Speaker 3: like tell a tell a fan that things like he
Speaker 3: just out here just like just for his own like bravado,
Speaker 3: Like just come to practice and see like how into.
Speaker 2: It he is, and you'd be like, oh, this dude cares.
Speaker 1: Oh he cares. And then you win games and he's
Speaker 1: out there like in the stands with fans. Yeah. There,
Speaker 1: Like the first week, the first week I was there
Speaker 1: because I was I was like thrown into the fire
Speaker 1: in the first week. He's like hey, it's like I
Speaker 1: think it was like Friday or Saturday. He's like, hey,
Speaker 1: you feel good about everything? And I was like yeah.
Speaker 1: He's like you're getting everything. I was like, yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: be straight. Something into my mind, like yeah, I can
Speaker 1: pick I can pick this stuff up. Like honestly, I
Speaker 1: just need to get out there and play because i'ven't
Speaker 1: fucking played in a year. Like I haven't. I haven't
Speaker 1: played a game as a linebacker. I mean I played,
Speaker 1: I guess in the preseason for a second with the Saints,
Speaker 1: but I was only there like four fucking days, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. But I haven't played in live
Speaker 1: bullets in like a year. So I just need to
Speaker 1: get out there and play like I'm starting. It's fucking crazy.
Speaker 1: And he's like, you don't need to be perfect, man,
Speaker 1: like just just play fast, like I know you know
Speaker 1: what you're doing. I'm glad you're here, man. I'm like
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm glad i'm here too. He's like, I
Speaker 1: love you, man, and I just said like thanks, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. That's we're kind of moving fast. But you know,
Speaker 1: I love being here too. But he's a study. He
Speaker 1: really does fucking care, and uh, you know, he fires
Speaker 1: me up. This fucking podcast fires me up. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: glad you came, bro, thanks for having me. I'm glad. Uh,
Speaker 1: I'm glad you're doing your music. I'm glad you're fucking
Speaker 1: what'd you say two and a half you're coming up
Speaker 1: on three years sober, two and a half years sober.
Speaker 2: Three years in August.
Speaker 1: YEP, that fires me up, dude, And man, I fucking
Speaker 1: root for Darren Waller. You know again, like I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I didn't know this in depth story about you. I
Speaker 1: just know what I've seen on fucking YouTube and Hard
Speaker 1: Knocks for two and a half minutes. It's a real
Speaker 1: convenient that they got you with your shirt off, working out,
Speaker 1: really sweating, and that's real convenient of you. Yeah, fucking
Speaker 1: out there looking shredded, no pause, real fucking convenient. Hey,
Speaker 1: we're gonna come around the corner. We're really gonna doash
Speaker 1: you with water and sweat, so just look.
Speaker 2: Like you're Yeah. I had to.
Speaker 3: I sprained my ac joint inte training camp, and so
Speaker 3: there's a few days where I couldn't practice, so I
Speaker 3: was like trying getting my extra work in and that
Speaker 3: was later in the day. And then like the way
Speaker 3: they had their tent set up was like right where
Speaker 3: the workout area was, and they were just over there
Speaker 3: sitting down like not doing anything. They saw me working out.
Speaker 3: I look over they grabbing all this ship, like picking cameras.
Speaker 3: They had to come over here, and.
Speaker 1: You just start fucking going up. I was already going,
Speaker 1: but then you really started to go.
Speaker 2: On, and I was like, let me just tune people out.
Speaker 1: Bro. They got that camera, the camera, I was fucking
Speaker 1: I was watching boy fuck dude, Hey thanks again. Man.
Speaker 1: Do you do you have Is there any any advice
Speaker 1: you give people going through anything? Like I think one
Speaker 1: big takeaway I kind of look at from a lot
Speaker 1: of this is how much your environment matters. How much
Speaker 1: who you surround yourself with matters. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like every story you kind of tell, like in high
Speaker 1: school or in college, you know, it's thoughts of other people,
Speaker 1: it's being around certain people, it's trying to put on
Speaker 1: a front or be cool for people. Like who you
Speaker 1: surround yourself with and what you surround yourself with. And
Speaker 1: then you're going to rehab, who you surround yourself with.
Speaker 1: Their the mentality you kind of surround yourself with when
Speaker 1: you're working at Sprouts. Then when you come in to
Speaker 1: the Ravens and you're kind of just locked in and
Speaker 1: taking advantage of practice squad, and you're kind of isolating
Speaker 1: yourself and you're focused, you know what I mean, You're
Speaker 1: not surrounding yourself with bullshit. And uh, then you go
Speaker 1: to the Raiders, right, and everything is. Honestly, it's been
Speaker 1: a lot of change in your environment. And I think
Speaker 1: that's a bit a big thing I take away when
Speaker 1: I listen to this, because honestly, you're sitting here and
Speaker 1: you just inspire the fuck out of me with everything
Speaker 1: you overcame. But do you do you have? I mean
Speaker 1: I feel like I just dropped a fucking gym, right heah.
Speaker 1: Do you know do you have like when you sit
Speaker 1: back and reflect, like if somebody's like out there struggling
Speaker 1: or who would take advice from you? Do you have
Speaker 1: like go tos? Maybe I've just stole your go to but.
Speaker 3: You got to you got to dig deep into yourself
Speaker 3: and look at everything, like especially the ugly parts, but
Speaker 3: the good, the good parts and the bad parts too.
Speaker 3: You got to learn how to forgive yourself because you
Speaker 3: get let a lot, you let a lot of guilt
Speaker 3: and shame build up, and it's just like once you
Speaker 3: do that, it's like, you know, it's hard to do
Speaker 3: anything right. But once you get to the bottom of
Speaker 3: all those things, like look all the way back to
Speaker 3: even your childhood, it's just like there's real adults out here.
Speaker 3: It's people holding on to things that happened to them
Speaker 3: when they was five years old, six years old, and
Speaker 3: it's just like they're still weaponizing it and trying to
Speaker 3: like they were hurt, so they trying to hurt more people.
Speaker 3: It's like, get to the bottom of your shit and
Speaker 3: it's going to be uncomfortable, but it's like once you
Speaker 3: kind of lock in, it's like you start seeking uncomfortable things.
Speaker 3: Those are the things that really change you and that
Speaker 3: really continue to test you. Because if you're not being tested,
Speaker 3: you're not being you're not straining, like you're not getting
Speaker 3: like better, Like you're not like they tell you all
Speaker 3: the time in football, like you gotta work hard to
Speaker 3: get better. But I mean, like them cliches are true,
Speaker 3: It's like you really got to test you up and
Speaker 3: put yourself in uncomfortable situations to have uncomfortable conversations with
Speaker 3: people regularly. And then it's like you get to the
Speaker 3: real of life, you see your stuff, and you realize,
Speaker 3: I'm not the only one dealing with this. I don't
Speaker 3: have to be selfish with this and act like you
Speaker 3: don't start hurting people because of it. Like I can
Speaker 3: like take my own thing, in my own experience and
Speaker 3: turn it into like my story. Like people, people are
Speaker 3: more drawn to people that have been through things, no doubt,
Speaker 3: people that had things handed to them. So like when
Speaker 3: you do that, you you never know like who you
Speaker 3: may turn into inspiring. Like it's still hard for me
Speaker 3: to wrap my mind around like I'm inspiring people because
Speaker 3: I was like the opposite of inspiration like a few
Speaker 3: years ago, you know. So it's like once you get
Speaker 3: to the Bob and like work through all that and
Speaker 3: see all people that you've hurt and like like really
Speaker 3: like let that remorse start to stack up, and it's
Speaker 3: like look at yourself and realize, like, okay, like develop
Speaker 3: like a spiritual life, like I mean like really like
Speaker 3: and really let go of like all these selfies things
Speaker 3: you have Like I mean, I don't really got no gems.
Speaker 2: It's just like.
Speaker 3: Smith, like get through everything that, like look at the
Speaker 3: entire picture, don't just because most people will look at
Speaker 3: it and be like ooh, like I'm not going there,
Speaker 3: like I'll talk about everything but this, like you need
Speaker 3: to talk about that.
Speaker 1: But this, that's awesome.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 1: You're a stud bro here, and I appreciate you sharing
Speaker 1: your story on here. I don't know where all you've
Speaker 1: shared your story, if you've or if it's been out
Speaker 1: there like that, but this is really fucking cool, dude.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, appreciate having you got anything before we go?
Speaker 1: You want to learn anything, any history on the bus, anything.
Speaker 2: Get me a rundown, bro. I've been looking around.
Speaker 1: We see all these stickers, right, we gotta put we
Speaker 1: gotta put more on. But you saw the boys where
Speaker 1: the boys with barstool. Now, like you're in a pretty
Speaker 1: big deal of a bus.
Speaker 2: This wild Yeah, these stickers are real deal.
Speaker 1: What I mean, I think it's crazy that you want
Speaker 1: to come on and talk about all this ship Like
Speaker 1: what you know?
Speaker 4: I got something?
Speaker 1: What do you Darren?
Speaker 4: Do you have anybody in the music industry who like
Speaker 4: inspired you to like start creating music, or is there
Speaker 4: somebody that you like.
Speaker 3: I learned that my great grandfather is a is a
Speaker 3: jazz legend. Really, Fats Waller is a jazz legend. In
Speaker 3: it again, fat swallow jazz legend. I got him tatted.
Speaker 3: I got my skinny jeans on. It's gonna take me
Speaker 3: fifteen minutes to get these jeans off, but I got
Speaker 3: tatted on my leg. My great my great grandfather tatted
Speaker 3: on my leg. But once I kind of learned about
Speaker 3: his history, it was like it opened my mind up
Speaker 3: to more music because I was just listening to too
Speaker 3: straight like ignorant ass rapa. Like when I was a kid,
Speaker 3: I like rock music, but then it was just like
Speaker 3: I was around blacks and they was like, bro, what
Speaker 3: you listening to this rock music for? I was like, all right,
Speaker 3: I got all off my iPod. I listened to a
Speaker 3: whole range of ship. But then it was just like
Speaker 3: once I realized my great grandfather and just how like
Speaker 3: just offset his music was, and it was just like,
Speaker 3: all right, I gotta like really start listening to different
Speaker 3: kinds of music, so open me up to different kinds.
Speaker 2: And it was like, all right, any music talent in me.
Speaker 3: I got to maximize like while I'm here, like we
Speaker 3: got too many days promises, like it'd be a waste
Speaker 3: because maybe my music could touch people.
Speaker 2: So it's like, let's like let's get it. Like it
Speaker 2: makes me feel good too, so like let's let's attack it.
Speaker 3: So it was like once I learned like the history
Speaker 3: of my family, it was like, oh yeah, like we
Speaker 3: finna get Yeah, we gotta go.
Speaker 1: That's fucking cool. Man. I hope you're I hope you're
Speaker 1: proud of yourself because you should be.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just trying not to get like complacent and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I know. It's weird when somebody like tooting
Speaker 1: your own horn. You're kind of sitting there. You don't
Speaker 1: know how to like react to it because you're but
Speaker 1: you've came along. I mean that's a hell of a story.
Speaker 1: And I'm fucking I'm stoked for you. Man. Hopefully we're
Speaker 1: teammates again this year.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh yeah, I'm on the table for you.
Speaker 1: Oh good. Let them know because the boys are free agents,
Speaker 1: so uh yeah, man, I'll.
Speaker 2: Take right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hey, we getting the boy bag. Nah. They were
Speaker 1: a fan. We had the eggsit meetings were good. You
Speaker 1: never know you know how that shit works too. I
Speaker 1: mean I was on the quote unquote the street for
Speaker 1: a little bit of last year, thirty year old white
Speaker 1: boy and drafted, So you don't know how people are
Speaker 1: gonna fucking portray everything, you know what I mean? Like objectively,
Speaker 1: you're not like, oh, I mean, honestly, everybody's talking about
Speaker 1: Tom Brady where he's gonna go. I think I'm the
Speaker 1: biggest story of the off season, Like Where's where's the
Speaker 1: boy gonna go? Yes, but uh, I hope we are, man,
Speaker 1: But I'm fired up. I'm at a loss of words.
Speaker 1: I'm just like rambling because your story is awesome, it's inspiring.
Speaker 1: I am super grateful you told it all and went
Speaker 1: that deep with us, or went that deep with me today,
Speaker 1: and uh, I think you're gonna this is gonna help
Speaker 1: a lot of people. And I'm just fucking root for you, dude,
Speaker 1: appreciate you. But uh, you got boys, you got anything.
Speaker 1: I just keep saying it because I kind of want
Speaker 1: to like just sit here and talk all damn day
Speaker 1: long to Darren Waller about his adversities and perseverance. But
Speaker 1: we should probably roll out of here because it's what's
Speaker 1: been what an hour and a half.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's been about an hour and a half. But
Speaker 4: like you said, man, we can go all day.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 4: And I appreciate you just opening up too, man, and
Speaker 4: just I mean, the amount of people that you're probably
Speaker 4: gonna hampact with this story is just absolutely incredible, man,
Speaker 4: So appreciate appreciate.
Speaker 1: Where you staying at in Nashville.
Speaker 2: I'm at the Higatt House.
Speaker 1: The spot that's link I shot you. Yeah, shut out,
Speaker 1: no free shoutouts. What I eat for dinner, I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what. We got some spots. Who's hey, who who's paying?
Speaker 1: Anybody paying? I'm just kidding. What are you feeling? Do
Speaker 1: you have any vibe that you're feeling, because I mean
Speaker 1: I have a whole list.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 1: Uh if it's barbecue.
Speaker 2: I'm the least piggy eater you ever meet.
Speaker 1: Are you a like what what type of genre? What
Speaker 1: type of style of food you like? I'm like twisting
Speaker 1: the ship out of this. I've never like been like
Speaker 1: this on a pod.
Speaker 3: Like.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's the caffeine I'm feeling inspired.
Speaker 1: I don't know what all it.
Speaker 3: Isn't I don't know what food I don't like bro
Speaker 3: like that ass.
Speaker 1: Well, you got to give me something because I can
Speaker 1: point you in a direction. I'm telling you, Nashville's got
Speaker 1: a lot of food, a lot of bad food, some
Speaker 1: good food out there. If you want something healthy, true
Speaker 1: food kitchen, no free shoutouts, but true food kitchens.
Speaker 2: Or true food I've been here, yeah, oh yeah, I've been.
Speaker 1: To that one when we went to uh when we
Speaker 1: went to play the Falcons, Me and the boys ate it.
Speaker 1: True food kitchen again, no free shout out, True food kitchen.
Speaker 1: Good food there. Obviously, you can eat healthy if you
Speaker 1: want to indulge in some barbecue, or you can eat
Speaker 1: healthy and barbecue, you just don't dip in the sauce,
Speaker 1: and you can get gluten freeze. You're right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I forget like it takes it takes a lot of
Speaker 1: work to look this average for me, but I know
Speaker 1: for you, like you can have tomorrow anyway, what's up? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know right, I love that undertaker Shirre by the way,
Speaker 1: But if you want to indulge, you got Nashville is
Speaker 1: known for hot chicken, so you could go to.
Speaker 2: Hat hot is it?
Speaker 3: Because I'm like my spice tars has increased, but I'm
Speaker 3: still not There's.
Speaker 1: Different levels, there's different levels, and it's it's not that
Speaker 1: overwhelming either. You got Hattie Bees, which is the touristy spot,
Speaker 1: No free shadouts Hatty Bees. You got what is it,
Speaker 1: Princess Chicken. I've heard a lot of ribs about that.
Speaker 1: Never eating there, but people say Princess Chicken. It's kind
Speaker 1: of like, Okay, you go to Hattie Bees, it's touristy.
Speaker 1: But if there's also Princess, no free shoutouts? Again, what
Speaker 1: else we got? You want to go and sit down
Speaker 1: and listen to live music?
Speaker 2: That fire.
Speaker 1: There's some good music around here. Man. We were at
Speaker 1: Acme feeding Seed last night. No free shoutouts at me
Speaker 1: feeding Seed.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they got killer sushi there.
Speaker 1: Killer Yeah. They got sushi on the you'll go up
Speaker 1: to the second floor and you can order sushi on
Speaker 1: that floor. But if you on the first floor, it's
Speaker 1: kind of a walk up register menu. You order like
Speaker 1: you can get a hot chicken there. You can get
Speaker 1: a bunch of different dishes there, and you go and
Speaker 1: sit and the music is on the first floor. They
Speaker 1: usually have a band playing the stillery. Either in downtown
Speaker 1: or Midtown, no free shoutouts. Distillery. Uh, if you want barbecue,
Speaker 1: if you just want to eat barbecue, some solid barbecue
Speaker 1: out here. You got ed Lea's, ed Ley's Barbecue, no
Speaker 1: free shout outs ed Lea's exactly. We can't. We can't.
Speaker 1: Fucking we don't play about these free shoutouts. We shout
Speaker 1: out the boys for free. But these other spots, no
Speaker 1: free shoutouts, even though we haven't gotten anything from them.
Speaker 1: But no free shoutouts. Uh, you got Martin's Barbecue, no
Speaker 1: free shoutouts. That's very good, Barnes, or at least can
Speaker 1: you recite what I've been telling you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, what has stood out? I'm loving the band.
Speaker 2: It's the ACD.
Speaker 1: No ackemy feed and seat that's on the corner. That's
Speaker 1: on the corner of Broadway Broadway. You can walk them down.
Speaker 1: A lot of live music, but a lot of action.
Speaker 1: I don't know how much you want to surround yourself
Speaker 1: with action. I don't know, Like I'm just I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to be for the boy. But it's live, it's
Speaker 1: lit up. There's bands playing all down Broadway. There's there's
Speaker 1: probably music in Midtown. But again, like a lot of
Speaker 1: people go out there. Broadway is a very touristy street.
Speaker 1: I only go out there rarely just because it's like,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I would assume it's like,
Speaker 1: I mean, you're gonna live in around Vegas. I would
Speaker 1: assume it's like being in Vegas and everybody wanted to
Speaker 1: go on the Strip, but all the locals are like,
Speaker 1: I don't really fuck with the strip to go to
Speaker 1: the locals don't necessarily always mess with Broadway because loud, right,
Speaker 1: But you can find a lot of good live music.
Speaker 1: I'll send you some links after this too, because I
Speaker 1: gave a lot of I gave. I didn't give a
Speaker 1: lot of free shout outs, but I gave a lot
Speaker 1: of shoutouts. But those are the spots. Am I missing
Speaker 1: anything missing anybody?
Speaker 2: Those?
Speaker 1: A's some good spots right there, good local spots that
Speaker 1: I I like to go and indulge in. But hey,
Speaker 1: that's all we got. Man, fucking love this podcast. I
Speaker 1: think it's number fucking one solid, But you're the man.
Speaker 1: What's up? Bloss Absolutely number one? Hold one. I thought
Speaker 1: we might have had to do something, but hey, I
Speaker 1: appreciate he I fucking appreciate you.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Thank you for opening it up. Man, Darren Waller, fucking
Speaker 1: Pro Bowl this year, I'm calling it. We're gonna sell
Speaker 1: out for you, so you don't got to worry about
Speaker 1: that on Twitter. We got your presence on Twitter, but
Speaker 1: we got you man. Hey, Oh and where are you
Speaker 1: out on Instagram? Where can people follow you?
Speaker 2: It's Rack Wall with two k's r A c kk
Speaker 2: wall w A.
Speaker 1: L L hang on, slow that down r A c kk.
Speaker 2: Rack with two k's and Wall Rack.
Speaker 1: Wall r A c kk w A l L.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got that from Racking Willey. You've seen Rack
Speaker 3: and Wielly on YouTube. No, I have not look that up.
Speaker 1: But you're gonna have your own YouTube channel. Do you
Speaker 1: know what it's gonna be called? Because here's where you
Speaker 1: plug your ship. Talk about Apple Music and Spotify. What
Speaker 1: do you look up again? If you want to search
Speaker 1: your music, look up D Wall D Space Wall. First
Speaker 1: project was called better Call Wall like Better Call Saul Love.
Speaker 1: Then the second project is Wall Street. Wall Street is
Speaker 1: the newest one. Wall Street got any kind of mood?
Speaker 2: Damn? Is that the ab rap video?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Funk I wanted, I wanted. I wanted to ask you
Speaker 4: about it.
Speaker 1: And I want to go yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, before
Speaker 1: we go. What was it like with Ab?
Speaker 3: I mean Ab, I mean AB was me and him
Speaker 3: at locker We were locker mats in the spring, and
Speaker 3: I mean any conversation I had with AB was like
Speaker 3: real you know, yeah, So, I mean I appreciate AB.
Speaker 3: I don't know exactly to the extent of what he's
Speaker 3: going through. Only thing I have to say is I
Speaker 3: just hope he addresses everything, like full spectrum and whatever
Speaker 3: help he needs, whatever wherever he needs to go to,
Speaker 3: you know, really address those things. I hope he does
Speaker 3: that because it's like, you know, looking back on my story,
Speaker 3: who am I to say that people can't get over
Speaker 3: their stuff and then take their life to hold other level?
Speaker 3: Because you see what level his life was on, you know,
Speaker 3: before things started happening.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you saw a legitimate peak rise of
Speaker 1: somebody just to fall and not necessarily rock bottom, but
Speaker 1: a rise and fall all within one year, all within months, honestly.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I'm one of them people that's like people look
Speaker 3: at AB and it's like, damn AB doing this, damn
Speaker 3: AB doing that. Fucking wrong with AB, I'm looking at
Speaker 3: a B like I'm trying to understand, Like I'm not
Speaker 3: from a place of condemning. I try to understand just
Speaker 3: because of I've been through caause I know people like
Speaker 3: this dude's junkie drug at it like just throwing stones.
Speaker 3: But it's like, who was really taking the time to understand,
Speaker 3: Like I'm trying to understand AB. So if I would
Speaker 3: have talked to AB, I'm not coming in with no expectation,
Speaker 3: no kind of judgment, Like I just want to talk
Speaker 3: to a b and like so he can get things
Speaker 3: off his chest, because I feel like it may not
Speaker 3: be a lot around people around AB where he can
Speaker 3: have real deal conversations.
Speaker 1: That's I mean just from a I'm a pure I'm
Speaker 1: the purest outsider there can be. I don't know, but
Speaker 1: you just feel like there's a lot of probably yes
Speaker 1: men around him. I mean you and know more than me.
Speaker 1: But when you're saying that, it's like, hopefully he has
Speaker 1: somebody around and you know, sort of check him or
Speaker 1: like have conversations to try to get to the root
Speaker 1: of like what's going on. But as a pure outsider,
Speaker 1: it is it's like you feel like he's surrounded by
Speaker 1: a lot of yes men. And he needs to do
Speaker 1: something different. Yeah, and that's me talking from no experience. Right,
Speaker 1: you're somebody who can You said you were lockermates with him,
Speaker 1: you were around him. You saw the crew that would
Speaker 1: try being on the Raiders, guy said he would try
Speaker 1: and come in the locker room with like his crew
Speaker 1: or being around workouts, and it's kind of like doing
Speaker 1: too much. But also you're an alien, meaning he's a superstar,
Speaker 1: so you got to kind of let stuff happen. But
Speaker 1: then it's like, hey, I.
Speaker 3: Think if he were to get into a I mean,
Speaker 3: like I said, I don't know what's going on in
Speaker 3: his life, but if he gets into a rehab environment,
Speaker 3: his work ethic really is crazy, like I seen it.
Speaker 3: So if he gets into environment where he's working on himself,
Speaker 3: I feel like his work ethic will come back out again.
Speaker 3: He can really like when he starts working on himself,
Speaker 3: that football work ethic will translate and then that will
Speaker 3: come back on the field. And then like once he
Speaker 3: deals with those things, like he won't even really have
Speaker 3: to go out his way to mend relationships with people
Speaker 3: and do like the apology things that he's doing, Like
Speaker 3: his actions will show for it and just because he's
Speaker 3: like he has a change in him on the inside
Speaker 3: because something has to change. And it's like I feel
Speaker 3: like if he gets if he gets to a point
Speaker 3: where he's like he locks in, he knows he has
Speaker 3: work to do on himself, I felt he could do
Speaker 3: whatever he wants.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's real the good reminder blast because we had
Speaker 1: alec Engold on here too, and I forgot to ask
Speaker 1: him about AB and he was talking to me about
Speaker 1: him afterwards, but kind of like the same stuff. It's
Speaker 1: kind of like, hey, it's all happening. He's a good dude.
Speaker 1: He's an awesome like yeah dude in person and teammate
Speaker 1: and stuff, and it's just like there's just constant drama
Speaker 1: and addressing and you know, apologizing in front of the team,
Speaker 1: and then it goes to like another action says something
Speaker 1: completely different. Everybody's just kind of like, you know, what
Speaker 1: the fuck is going on?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I see that, And it's just like I can't
Speaker 3: even if I'm talking about AB. I'm a bigges hypocrie
Speaker 3: in the world because I was up like I told
Speaker 3: you about the combine, like just line the people straight up,
Speaker 3: and it's just like, yeah, no, I can't. I can't
Speaker 3: say nothing bad by AB. I just hope A B
Speaker 3: does what he did needs to do for himself, because
Speaker 3: you know, if he does what he needs to do
Speaker 3: to get back into the game of football, the game
Speaker 3: of football is going to end, and like you got
Speaker 3: sixty more.
Speaker 2: Years to live.
Speaker 1: It's like no question.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I feel like helped me with football
Speaker 3: because like I did all that stuff to like really
Speaker 3: focus on me, like I didn't really want to play
Speaker 3: for a while, and then it's like.
Speaker 2: Now I'm here.
Speaker 3: It's like an added bonus to be playing football because
Speaker 3: it's like if you do it for you, like then
Speaker 3: everything else like that's supposed to come to you in
Speaker 3: your life is gonna come to you.
Speaker 2: So man, shout out to ab.
Speaker 1: Bro shout out ab Free shout outs. He's a boy,
Speaker 1: all right, We're good man, drop the hook. Love you guys,
Speaker 1: a subscribe rate review lead fun of reviews, follow us
Speaker 1: busting WTB. We have a YouTube channel buzzing with the Boys.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, share it screw from the top of Mountain.
Speaker 1: We love you big hugs, Huney kisses the Boys.