Speaker 1: This is me, Craig Ferguson. I'm inviting you to come
Speaker 1: and see my brand new comedy hour. Well it's actually
Speaker 1: it's about an hour and a half and I don't
Speaker 1: have an opener because these guys cost money. But what
Speaker 1: I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while. Anyway,
Speaker 1: come and see me live on the Pants on Fire
Speaker 1: Tour in your region. Tickets are on sale now and
Speaker 1: we'll be adding more as the tour continues throughout twenty
Speaker 1: twenty five and beyond. For a full list of dates,
Speaker 1: go to the Craig Ferguson show dot com. See you
Speaker 1: on the road, My DearS. My name is Craig Ferguson.
Speaker 1: The name of this podcast is Joy. I talk to
Speaker 1: interesting people about what brings them happiness. My guest today
Speaker 1: is one of my favorite comedians for my money, I
Speaker 1: think maybe the best live show I've ever seen one
Speaker 1: person do comedically. He's a one off at American Treasure.
Speaker 1: He's Carrot Top Joy do what. First of all, can
Speaker 1: I just say how delighted I'm see. I haven't seen
Speaker 1: you in such a long time. I haven't been in Vegas,
Speaker 1: I haven't been out. We asked how are you. I'm great,
Speaker 1: and I think it's funny.
Speaker 2: We talk about you all the time, literally not and
Speaker 2: I mean just all the time we see because there's
Speaker 2: a clip in my show right before the show starts
Speaker 2: with you. I'm on your show and you're you're I'm
Speaker 2: doing this to you. I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: You're talking, we talk about Mike Tyson and I'm going
Speaker 2: like this and You're going like this, and it was
Speaker 2: It's hilarious, just visually, it's hilarious.
Speaker 1: Right, You're in my thoughts every every night you're in
Speaker 1: the show. Well, you know, I always like to talk
Speaker 1: about what a great show you put on because I
Speaker 1: I remember going to see I've seen you a few times,
Speaker 1: but I remember one night when you were doing the
Speaker 1: you were doing the showing Hooters for a while. Is
Speaker 1: that right now? I might have just been out of Hooters. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: it was the Hooters, the Hooters casino.
Speaker 2: MGM Grand across from the You were at Hooter, Trust,
Speaker 2: I was at the MPUM character.
Speaker 1: No, I remember, now, we went to Hooters, went to
Speaker 1: the show. We went to just for wings. Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: we went to I remember because you me and Ron
Speaker 1: White do you remember.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I just saw Ron I just saw Ron
Speaker 2: Just my god, I just saw him a couple of
Speaker 2: days ago.
Speaker 1: One of the greatest comedians who've ever left. Just amazing comic.
Speaker 2: So Ron White comes to my show. You know, Ronnie's
Speaker 2: a character. So he comes back. He says, hey, man,
Speaker 2: he has smoked some He can't smoke weed back here.
Speaker 2: He says, what you'r a dressed for smokes some weed?
Speaker 2: I said, no, no, we can't smoke weed back here.
Speaker 2: So he says, let's go to the just really nice
Speaker 2: posh you know.
Speaker 1: Upscale bar.
Speaker 2: Me and my friend, him and his girlfriend. And we're
Speaker 2: sitting we haven't any were drinks yet. I hear I
Speaker 2: smell weed. But I'm like, god, I said, someone's smoking weed.
Speaker 2: And Ron's like, well, no, ship sherlock. And I'm like, run,
Speaker 2: you can't smoke weed in here. And he's like, well,
Speaker 2: what are they gonna do?
Speaker 1: Throw one White and character out of a fucking bar,
Speaker 1: And within seconds they threw us out. And I said,
Speaker 1: I said, yes, you can't do it. Ron, just you
Speaker 1: know aroun those guys. He's like, I'm Ron White, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna do you know you can't smoke, doping up.
Speaker 1: He is who he is minded. But how have you
Speaker 1: been is what I'm saying. I haven't seen you in
Speaker 1: a long time. I've seen it before COVID died. Since
Speaker 1: I seen I think that's right.
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, Covid, that was about the time. It's
Speaker 2: been that many years. Yeah, I've been doing good and
Speaker 2: still we're still doing it every night at the Luxor
Speaker 2: and uh yeah, not not Hooters at the Luxtor every time.
Speaker 1: No, I remember now. We went to Hooters afterwards. I
Speaker 1: remember because I said, I said, I've never been to Hooters,
Speaker 1: and you were like, walk over, woke to it. I
Speaker 1: think we walked across the casino floor was and I
Speaker 1: was like, this is the most depressed place in my life.
Speaker 1: And then we went to somewhere else that I remember
Speaker 1: now when I saw you in Vegas, Yeah, was last
Speaker 1: night I saw you. The act was insanely energetic and
Speaker 1: very very very funny. Is it still as physical as
Speaker 1: it was that you still like from bom Bom bom
Speaker 1: bomb pulling all this stuff through it.
Speaker 2: It's definitely not as funny, but it's uh good, Yeah,
Speaker 2: you came on a good night.
Speaker 1: Uh No, it's it's always fast paced. And it kind
Speaker 1: of started.
Speaker 2: It started when I got working Vegas, which is strange
Speaker 2: because when i'd.
Speaker 1: Work on the road, I felt like the crowd would
Speaker 1: would want to. I don't know. The pacing of it was, Uh,
Speaker 1: it was different than in Vegas.
Speaker 2: There's like a like last night we had a show,
Speaker 2: and which is it's like they they want to they
Speaker 2: want to get out, they want to go somewhere.
Speaker 1: So they're they're there, they're excited to see you, and
Speaker 1: then they're like, you know, how long is this gonna go?
Speaker 1: So I kind of I go so fast.
Speaker 2: People last night were saying to me after the show, like,
Speaker 2: how how many jokes do you do?
Speaker 1: Permit it?
Speaker 2: I said, I never added it, but I said, my god,
Speaker 2: it's it's just one after night, I said, well, I'm
Speaker 2: always worried about one not working, so I go into
Speaker 2: the next one.
Speaker 1: But it's very fast paced. It's almost too pace. It is.
Speaker 1: How long is the show? You do?
Speaker 2: About an hour and twenty.
Speaker 1: I mean that's a that's a regular land. Do you
Speaker 1: have an opener? Have an opener?
Speaker 2: He heats the crowd going and then and then I
Speaker 2: and I come up and I do my little thing.
Speaker 1: And yeah, then we all go thee How long have
Speaker 1: you been there? It's like nearly twenty years? Maybe, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this Thanksgiving will be twenty years. Isn't that crazy? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Twenty years? Wow, nut, that's nuts. Who's coming to see you?
Speaker 2: Know?
Speaker 1: People have seen you before? Do you have to keep
Speaker 1: changing it?
Speaker 2: We have a lot of regulars that come. In fact,
Speaker 2: I would always say, you know, how many people have
Speaker 2: seen the show before? And it's unbelievable how many people
Speaker 2: have seen the show before. Now I always say the
Speaker 2: same thing, like you came back, like it's weird. But
Speaker 2: they do like a lot of return visits, and they
Speaker 2: and that's why you got to write so much, you know,
Speaker 2: the jokes. They even though Vegas feel always Vegas, you
Speaker 2: can probably get away with doing the same show for
Speaker 2: ten years because it's always new audiences. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: it's not you get this the crowds of savvy and
Speaker 2: they and they know they know a new bit and
Speaker 2: they know they know that you're on top of something,
Speaker 2: whether it's political or whether it's pop culture. You know,
Speaker 2: they talk about the Vacshiet Boys for this year. Last night,
Speaker 2: I see you do a joke about you know, Beyonce
Speaker 2: was just here, you know, so you kind of add
Speaker 2: in something. But what's what's happening in the world too?
Speaker 1: How How is Vegas now over the last well, particularly
Speaker 1: since cool I haven't been since before COVID. I think
Speaker 1: is it changed a lot? I mean, I mean there's
Speaker 1: still it's crazy. Yeah, it's it's they keep.
Speaker 2: Building A joke on my show, is you know how
Speaker 2: many hotels they need you You got to check in?
Speaker 1: They say your room's not ready? Are you cleaning it? No,
Speaker 1: we're building it. I mean literally, it's just incredible.
Speaker 2: Now they want to build a baseball stadium. But I
Speaker 2: mean it's Vegas. It's it's just it's a crazy town.
Speaker 2: It's still you know, it's doing it.
Speaker 1: It's doing great.
Speaker 2: Summer it's always a little bit, you know, one hundred
Speaker 2: and eighty degrees out.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's it gets by. What is it right now?
Speaker 2: People come It's amazing they come here in two degrees
Speaker 2: and they're just walking around us.
Speaker 1: I like, I don't know where they're going. But then
Speaker 1: they get our room, they get air conditioning. It's interesting
Speaker 1: to me Vegas because it kind of like, you know,
Speaker 1: you you get you can go to casinos anywhere in America. Now,
Speaker 1: you's like, you don't have to go to Vegas to
Speaker 1: gamble and stuff, but people still go. But but I'm there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you could sure like a regular comedian instead of
Speaker 1: just sitting in your ass one time right now.
Speaker 2: No, I think we talked about that all the time.
Speaker 2: What makes you know you're right? You can gamble anywhere.
Speaker 2: You can gamble where you are right now, and you
Speaker 2: probably have.
Speaker 1: A blackjack table in front of your right now. I do.
Speaker 1: I have a casino and I and we have a
Speaker 1: brossel on the property too. I mean it every sunderstand.
Speaker 2: But I think that's I think they're so they try
Speaker 2: to keep Vegas kind of a special place.
Speaker 1: It's not just because of gaming. They have the most
Speaker 1: incredible restaurants.
Speaker 2: And they do all the celebrities, chefs and and you know,
Speaker 2: it's like we're not even the main drawling mode. You
Speaker 2: drive down the you know the road, the billboards are
Speaker 2: chef and you know the pool at aria and you
Speaker 2: know you still see some shows for comedians, but it's
Speaker 2: you know, the restaurants and yeah, and and injury lawyers,
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, the accidents guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean but they're all in Vegas. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's it's a weird place to have them. But I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's it's kind of like what Drew. I
Speaker 1: feel like I've talked to you ob this before, but
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was actually just us talking
Speaker 1: or for it, or if it was on TV or something.
Speaker 1: But when you, uh, when you went there and started
Speaker 1: doing this because you were tired of touring, right, and
Speaker 1: like you were sick of doing it.
Speaker 2: I don't think it was sick of touring it. They
Speaker 2: just offered me, Uh, they offered me whether. I had
Speaker 2: the MGM Grand for about ten years, but it was
Speaker 2: it was an in and out kind of uh thing.
Speaker 1: It wasn't. It wasn't a full time residency.
Speaker 2: I would do like two weeks, then I'd go on
Speaker 2: the road and do shows and come back and do
Speaker 2: two weeks.
Speaker 1: Oh right, Well, I think it.
Speaker 2: Was there five five times a year, but for two
Speaker 2: weeks at a time, so it was still they would
Speaker 2: call it.
Speaker 1: It's not a residency now.
Speaker 2: The one I have now is every night, six nights
Speaker 2: a week for two and and forty shows, So that's
Speaker 2: an actual residency. But it happened I was doing the
Speaker 2: Vegas one, and then David Cobbfield wanted the room full time,
Speaker 2: and of course you know Copfield car tops. So I said, well,
Speaker 2: there I go. I think I had said something in
Speaker 2: the to the paper like, yeah, why'd you leave the MGM?
Speaker 2: I said, David Copfield, maybe disappear, and then he read
Speaker 2: it it's wider and breakage, just like Jesus a joke.
Speaker 2: So they offered me the room with the Luxe Or
Speaker 2: and there was nobody there yet.
Speaker 1: I was the only.
Speaker 2: Show at the Luxor. It was me and the buffet,
Speaker 2: and I said, well, this is a cool little room.
Speaker 2: And so we did it on a whim for like
Speaker 2: a year, and then I was thinking, now I want
Speaker 2: to go back on the road.
Speaker 1: And then I said, well, I'll do another year.
Speaker 2: And then it finally turned into you know where we
Speaker 2: are now twenty So it's it's been an incredible run.
Speaker 1: I've known you quite a long time. We kind of
Speaker 1: we worked together a little bit. You did bets on
Speaker 1: the show. I come and see you in Vegas stuff
Speaker 1: like that, but I know really nothing about your life,
Speaker 1: and so I thought, I mean, I know you're from Florida,
Speaker 1: and I know that your dad worked in NASA. That's
Speaker 1: all I know today, So well, that's all. It's kind
Speaker 1: of so you remember, but it was interested. So today
Speaker 1: I thought, you know, I should find out more about
Speaker 1: Scott's personal life, just not to ask them about it,
Speaker 1: but just to know about it. And then I go
Speaker 1: on the internet and there's nothing. Nothing. So what I'm
Speaker 1: going to say, I'm not going to ask you to
Speaker 1: be your personal life. I just want to know how
Speaker 1: you have mice to keep it off the internet. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1: Are you very kind of like are you very reclusive?
Speaker 1: And when you're in Vegas do you kind of go
Speaker 1: around to disguise or something.
Speaker 2: No, I'm definitely not. I just go out, but I don't.
Speaker 2: I am one of those people. I try to stay
Speaker 2: out of trouble. I don't do I don't go out
Speaker 2: and do anything crazy. I'm never in the news for
Speaker 2: doing something I don't. I don't go partying. I don't
Speaker 2: put myself in the situations. But it's true, Yeah, there's
Speaker 2: really not anything out there.
Speaker 1: Which I think is as well, except you know, just
Speaker 1: people that will come up with crazy crap, you know.
Speaker 1: And yeah, but it's it's kind of interesting because I
Speaker 1: think that now the you know, with social media being
Speaker 1: what it is, because you and I both predate social
Speaker 1: media and the do you do you have a policy
Speaker 1: with foreigns in the show and stuff like that? Do
Speaker 1: you do people know I let to use them.
Speaker 3: I mean they say not to, but they people use them.
Speaker 2: You know, they say put your stuff away, But I
Speaker 2: see people all the night filming and kind of guy,
Speaker 2: and I don't mind it.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, why not? You know, well, it
Speaker 1: takes the gag away though, if nothing else, I mean,
Speaker 1: if they blew a gag for you or I, or
Speaker 1: if you're doing a jewel, which is which you know
Speaker 1: people would get annoyed at if it wasn't in the
Speaker 1: context of being in a comedy show, right right, Well
Speaker 1: that's true. That part is definitely true. Or you get
Speaker 1: one of them.
Speaker 2: There's just on a rant like poor I forget who
Speaker 2: was it might have been George Lopez. He was he
Speaker 2: was just he had lost it, told the crowd, you know,
Speaker 2: and someone's filming him the whole time, like you know,
Speaker 2: f you and get out, and you know, and I
Speaker 2: was like, God, that sucks. So you always got to
Speaker 2: keep that in the.
Speaker 1: Back of your head.
Speaker 3: Yeah, someone's got a phone somewhere.
Speaker 1: I kind of try and remember not to run the audience.
Speaker 1: You know, again, I probably have done it, but it's
Speaker 1: kind of it's a weird. It's a weird thing though,
Speaker 1: because it never do you remember. I remember Michael Richards,
Speaker 1: this is the one I remember. Remember he did it
Speaker 1: all that crazy like, yeah, that was That's the first
Speaker 1: cancelation from that kind of thing, as I remember.
Speaker 2: I remember too, that was the first one I remember
Speaker 2: where it was just yeah, horrible.
Speaker 1: You know, it's pretty bad. It was pretty bad. But
Speaker 1: it's kind of like with prope comed and what is this.
Speaker 1: I don't even think it's fair to call it prop
Speaker 1: comedy what you do because it's it's not just prop comedy.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're right stuff. There's material there, sure, and
Speaker 1: over the over the years, but particularly a while ago.
Speaker 1: I think, no, I can't. I don't see much of
Speaker 1: it now. But you took a law heat back in
Speaker 1: the day for using props and stuff like that, like angry,
Speaker 1: you know, alcoholic comedians would be mean about you all
Speaker 1: the time, the terrible did that get you down about? Oh?
Speaker 2: Absolutely, everyone's human, you know, so it would bother me.
Speaker 2: And then I would go, you know, and then I
Speaker 2: would hear like a George Carlin or you know, someone
Speaker 2: that I respected, you know you, I go on your show,
Speaker 2: and it.
Speaker 3: Would be awesome and it would be.
Speaker 2: Validating you know what I do, you know and so,
Speaker 2: but it hurt my feelings to a degree unless it
Speaker 2: was My mom was to consider the source.
Speaker 3: So if it was someone it was.
Speaker 2: Coming from somewhere, like you said, an angry comedian somewhere
Speaker 2: in living in a basement Nebraska that's never done a show,
Speaker 2: as opposed to a stand up comic that I respect
Speaker 2: and and appreciate as a comic. But I would always
Speaker 2: you know, I got into the prop thing and the
Speaker 2: beginning to literally be unique and be genuine.
Speaker 1: That's why I did it. I wanted to do much different, right.
Speaker 2: I didn't want to be the guy that was like, oh,
Speaker 2: he's he's taking you know, being another so and so
Speaker 2: and so. I thought I would get more respect and
Speaker 2: more love, like wow, this guy's doing something different. And
Speaker 2: then it turned out backfar because I was doing not
Speaker 2: only doing props, but I was doing well, you know,
Speaker 2: I was doing shows, and I was doing big colleges
Speaker 2: and everybody's like, how is this guy getting college, how's
Speaker 2: this guy getting on Regis and Kathy Lee? And I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I was just doing I was just
Speaker 2: doing what I wanted to do. Yeah, But did get
Speaker 2: to a point where like almost like you know your parents,
Speaker 2: so they just so you know, I really don't give
Speaker 2: a shit anymore, and you know you I kind of
Speaker 2: hit that a long time ago where I just kind
Speaker 2: of was like, I could care less what people think.
Speaker 2: I always want what the audience cares to think, and
Speaker 2: what you know, my friend. Outside of that, you know,
Speaker 2: it's my audience and people stop coming, then, you know,
Speaker 2: then you got to worry about. But the people that
Speaker 2: come to the show love the show. I have fans
Speaker 2: that love me, and the people that don't love me
Speaker 2: don't come to the shows, you.
Speaker 1: Know, I know. It's the funniest thing. I mean, you
Speaker 1: see people chase the tale with that. I've never seen
Speaker 1: an interview with Chris Martin from Cold Plate because Cope
Speaker 1: Play get a lot of hate for the music they
Speaker 1: do from people who don't like Cope Play obviously, right,
Speaker 1: I think it's a lot of people who love And
Speaker 1: he said, well, I don't. I don't write songs for
Speaker 1: people who don't like Coldplay. I write songs for people
Speaker 1: who like cold Play. You go, of course you do.
Speaker 1: That makes perfect sense exactly.
Speaker 2: That's a great answer, isn't it a great answer? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't write you. I don't write songs for people
Speaker 2: that don't like Coplant.
Speaker 1: I write for cop Yeah, I'm the singer in Coplay.
Speaker 1: I write the songs for Kopley. Why would I try?
Speaker 2: And yeah, Yeah, that's that's brilliantly said. And that's kind
Speaker 2: of the Yeah what I do I write? I mean,
Speaker 2: but I do have a lot of stand up now
Speaker 2: on the show, which is kind of surprising to people
Speaker 2: unless they see the show live. You know, we've been
Speaker 2: we've been talking about this for since Jay Leno days,
Speaker 2: where I would say I want to do it. I
Speaker 2: want to come out and do a set with no props,
Speaker 2: and Jay was fine with it.
Speaker 3: He'd be like, that's great.
Speaker 1: But they.
Speaker 2: But the people would you know, the producers were like,
Speaker 2: you know, freak out, like the no your care top,
Speaker 2: you have to do your you know what you're known for.
Speaker 2: And I said, well, wouldn't it be fun? So anyway,
Speaker 2: they never let me do it, So I thought maybe
Speaker 2: they don't even have to be a whole special like Netflix,
Speaker 2: but just something maybe on YouTube. It's gonna be, you know,
Speaker 2: care propless and I literally come out and I'm just
Speaker 2: for twenty minutes, I just tell these stories. And I
Speaker 2: think people would be like, I'm sitting on a stool
Speaker 2: and just and just be funny. And people would be like,
Speaker 2: what because the live show has that element, because it's
Speaker 2: you can't do that, remember you do that? Well, yeah
Speaker 2: you've seen the show has even been years. But you
Speaker 2: can't do that rapid fire prop stuff.
Speaker 1: For an hour and a half. You just can't. So
Speaker 1: you have to.
Speaker 2: You have to come into like you and you start
Speaker 2: telling stories about your father and NASA and you start
Speaker 2: telling stories about your idols in comedy and how you
Speaker 2: met him, and you know, people love that. They just
Speaker 2: they get dead silent. They can't wait to hear.
Speaker 1: You know. Don Rickles told me to you know, get
Speaker 1: away from him. You know it was just he said,
Speaker 1: well it was on a movie.
Speaker 2: I was in a movie with him and Betty White,
Speaker 2: and I mean he was unbelievable, right, And I had
Speaker 2: to get in these prosthetics every morning, and I mean
Speaker 2: early morning at four o'clock in the morning. I get
Speaker 2: there and they put on all these prosthetics and get
Speaker 2: me ready for the day the movie and Rickles would
Speaker 2: come in around you know eight, I've already been there
Speaker 2: four years, four hours in the chair getting all my
Speaker 2: makeup on. And he would come in every morning every
Speaker 2: morning and he'd get into the walk in the trailer
Speaker 2: and look over at me and go, you're still in
Speaker 2: this And I for a month and a half every day,
Speaker 2: You're still in this thing. And I'm like, yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: still in it. So I just saw him at a
Speaker 2: restaurant and said, I don't want to bother you. And
Speaker 2: he says, you're you're already you are bothering me. Get
Speaker 2: away from me. And I said, oh, I'm sorry. He says, no,
Speaker 2: get over here. And he was just so he was
Speaker 2: just so gracious and nice. And you know, on the
Speaker 2: sn I.
Speaker 1: Became quite friendly with Don Towards the last few years.
Speaker 1: I got friendly with Donna. He was a remarkable guy,
Speaker 1: the real kind of the opposite of what you think.
Speaker 1: And I feel like that happened so much in show
Speaker 1: business that Late Night did that to me. And you
Speaker 1: get that as well. You get people that you meet
Speaker 1: like you're one of those guys I like. When I
Speaker 1: met you, I was like, this is the is the
Speaker 1: nicest guy. And then I get you to see your
Speaker 1: show and I'm like, this is a great show. But
Speaker 1: it's it's kind of like, you know, the I remember
Speaker 1: one of the big ones I had was Larry King.
Speaker 1: I used to make fun of Larry King all the time,
Speaker 1: and then I met Larry King at the White House
Speaker 1: Correspondence dinner and we became like really close friends for
Speaker 1: the last like ten to fifteen years of his life.
Speaker 1: It was just like friends, and he was a wonderful guy.
Speaker 1: And all the stuff that I like, jokes and stuff
Speaker 1: I tried to like, they wouldn't see them. Did you
Speaker 1: ever do a duke about someone and then meet them
Speaker 1: with regret it?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I don't know, but trying to I
Speaker 2: try not to get too mean in personal but I have.
Speaker 1: Done no, you don't know, that's true, but still.
Speaker 3: Like you would do a joke.
Speaker 2: But but but Larry King, and but I've done some
Speaker 2: about people and then I meet him and I feel
Speaker 2: horrible that, you know, I made fun of them and they.
Speaker 1: Were, like you said, lovely people.
Speaker 2: But I never picked on anyone to the point where
Speaker 2: they were like, I really just went after him in
Speaker 2: a mean way. I would, you know something stupid. You
Speaker 2: call her bed bed Bath and Beyonce. And then I
Speaker 2: meet her and she's like, did you call me bed
Speaker 2: Beth and Beyonce. Yes, but it wasn't It wasn't bad.
Speaker 2: I mean it was I saw you. I saw you
Speaker 2: in the show and you call me be I say, oh, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: you know. But I don't think I've ever the only
Speaker 2: time I did do well Mike Tyson.
Speaker 1: But I did, and I think I told the story.
Speaker 2: That was what I told you on your showing. I
Speaker 2: had done this prop.
Speaker 3: It was and it was.
Speaker 2: It ended up on everything USA today, in the cover
Speaker 2: of La Times, in ESPN, everywhere, They're everywhere. Everyone saw it.
Speaker 2: And it was so topical that it was a rubber
Speaker 2: headgear with ears on it, so he his opponents could
Speaker 2: show on him instead of his thing. And so I'm
Speaker 2: sitting at in a word show and Dennis Hopper sits
Speaker 2: down next to me, and Dennis Hopper, I'm like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, he's like me self.
Speaker 1: Got He says.
Speaker 2: The first thing he says to me, I'm sorry you
Speaker 2: had to sit next to me, right, And I'm like,
Speaker 2: that's what I would say to you. You know, he's
Speaker 2: so nice. I said, I can't believe you know, Dennis Hopper,
Speaker 2: My god. He goes, yeah, I'm sorry, of all the
Speaker 2: people and you got me, I'm sorry, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: how sweet. All a sudden, Mike Tyson walks up and
Speaker 2: he goes Mike and he says to me, you know Mike,
Speaker 2: And I said no, and it didn't dawn on me.
Speaker 1: You don't have to have these jokes about him.
Speaker 3: He comes off the hug.
Speaker 2: He says, you know, Cara top and he looks right,
Speaker 2: he gets right in my face this close, and he says,
Speaker 2: you think that's funny And I said.
Speaker 1: What did you do with that? That's the thing.
Speaker 2: He's funny with me that that made me hurt my feeling.
Speaker 2: And I said, no, it was just a joke. He said,
Speaker 2: it's not a joke, and he started screaming at me
Speaker 2: like like Mike Tyson was no that you know, I
Speaker 2: wouldn't have a feeling that Bertha feeling and that was
Speaker 2: really meaning disrespectful.
Speaker 3: You should never do that somebody.
Speaker 1: And I said, I'm it was just a joke. I
Speaker 1: apologize and he goes, I'm.
Speaker 2: Just kidding, and he punched me so hard, I mean,
Speaker 2: just like that, and I'm still sore from it.
Speaker 1: It was like nine year no, twelve years ago.
Speaker 2: So that was scary to me because I thought, oh,
Speaker 2: God of all things, don't don't you know, don't pick
Speaker 2: on Ron White, I mean Tyson I did with the
Speaker 2: whole Cogan, not whole Cogan just passed away. He did,
Speaker 2: and he was a really close friend of mine. I
Speaker 2: mean I never I never met him at all, but
Speaker 2: it is great. So I do a show in Tampa.
Speaker 2: He lived in Florida. So I'm doing the show in Tampa, FA.
Speaker 2: It's like a double decker, beautiful theater, and the show's
Speaker 2: going great. There's some guy yelling out, just yell. It
Speaker 2: wasn't heckling necessarily. He was just like, you know, they
Speaker 2: just try to you know, hey, you're commenting.
Speaker 1: You know, I do a joke. Yeah right, that's a
Speaker 1: great joke. Keep going yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that one.
Speaker 1: All right, thanks.
Speaker 2: So it was just weird. The show got over and
Speaker 2: I had said something I said. I said, it's something
Speaker 2: like I'm never mean, but I said, can you I
Speaker 2: you know, I wrote this without you. I don't need
Speaker 2: your help. If I need you, all call on you.
Speaker 2: But thanks, and everybody's dead sounding the kind of thought.
Speaker 2: The crowd turned on me, right. So anyway, he shows over.
Speaker 2: We go backstage and they said, hey, you have some
Speaker 2: people here and I said okay, and they said Hull
Speaker 2: Cogan's here and I'm like, Hulk Hogan and he comes walking.
Speaker 1: He's like, I was trying to yell at.
Speaker 3: You the whole show to get your attention.
Speaker 1: I'm like, that was you. He goes, yeah, I'm like
Speaker 1: I told you.
Speaker 3: I said, I wonder why the crowd got quiet.
Speaker 2: The whole crowd looked back and he's like, oh shit,
Speaker 2: I'm not telling Hull Cogan to shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2: So the whole crowd's like, I'm not telling him, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, just shut up, dumb in this whole Cogan.
Speaker 2: So he thought he was helping mes, like I was
Speaker 2: trying to get your attention. I was trying to say,
Speaker 2: is Scott.
Speaker 1: Scott that See? I think that's the worst type of hackler. No,
Speaker 1: people are heckling and sane mean things to you. You
Speaker 1: can deal with that. That's learn that on your first day.
Speaker 1: But but it's when people who just don't have any
Speaker 1: clue about what you actually do. Now, they're like that
Speaker 1: was great, and uh where did you get that prop?
Speaker 1: And I mean it's like did you make that? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And they yeah, they always they yeah, I don't know,
Speaker 2: and I did always just go right on okay. But
Speaker 2: there was the guy last night was right in the
Speaker 2: front road just kept saying I got married. I said,
Speaker 2: all right on to her, I said, oh okay, and
Speaker 2: I said when and like, you know yesterday, I'm like,
Speaker 2: well great, I don't know what they wanted.
Speaker 1: Me to do for but so the whole show is
Speaker 1: a roll dolge around that.
Speaker 3: I'm like, so we have any So you guys just
Speaker 3: well you're still together.
Speaker 1: That's good.
Speaker 2: You know, you get married, you get married today, and
Speaker 2: you come to a Cara top show.
Speaker 1: What is wrong with you? Like, yeah, well, you know,
Speaker 1: it's a good show. But I gotta say, if I
Speaker 1: was getting you know, it's a good show. I don't
Speaker 1: want I don't want to be negative about your show.
Speaker 1: It's a good show. And you know what, if I
Speaker 1: ever get married again, that's gonna be my y. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why I'm going to say. That's why I'll never
Speaker 1: get married together actually thinks I mean things.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm never gonna get married.
Speaker 1: No, have you ever been married? I can't find out
Speaker 1: on the internet.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, okay no no.
Speaker 1: I just I didn't. I just never. It's not in
Speaker 1: my cards. I mean, I just I my whole life
Speaker 1: I was. I don't know. It's just you live for
Speaker 1: that long in Las Vegas. If I lived in Las
Speaker 1: Vegas for twenty years, i'd be married like twenty times.
Speaker 1: I just.
Speaker 2: Smart guy, smart guy, smart guy. See yeah, I kind
Speaker 2: of I kind of. I kind of go to Bill
Speaker 2: Maher kind of you know, people always ask him and
Speaker 2: he gets kind of testy. They'll say, well, you're, you know,
Speaker 2: seventy and you've never had kids.
Speaker 1: And you're single.
Speaker 2: You know, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with you?
Speaker 2: And he says absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1: I'm smart.
Speaker 2: Like he It's like, you know, everyone does have to
Speaker 2: get the house with the with the.
Speaker 1: Kid, and that's always the life you want to live.
Speaker 1: That's always just like.
Speaker 2: That's always been my thing. I just I wasn't really
Speaker 2: against marriage. I was just against uh, just the I'm
Speaker 2: so I'm not I'm not a and you too. Probably
Speaker 2: you're not a you were when you had your show.
Speaker 2: More you were structured because you had to be at
Speaker 2: your show every day, structural stand up comic. Maybe here
Speaker 2: I'm more structured because of the show I have here.
Speaker 2: I have to be ready for it every night at
Speaker 2: a certain time. Comics in general, they aren't like structure.
Speaker 2: We just go and get the car, go the next gig.
Speaker 2: We go here, we go, eat, we go with comics,
Speaker 2: we go out to dinner, and then we go to
Speaker 2: the next show. We go home, go to sleep, get
Speaker 2: up and do it again. And girlfriend's like, where are you?
Speaker 1: I'm at fucking work? What even where am I? That
Speaker 1: would always annoy me, like where are you?
Speaker 2: I'm getting ready to go on at the show, you know,
Speaker 2: and the show's over.
Speaker 1: Where are you?
Speaker 3: I'm just god done? I mean, it's like that would
Speaker 3: be annoying to me.
Speaker 2: I like, just I would like to have I just
Speaker 2: like yes, men, I like people just just.
Speaker 1: I think that I think they also. I think it's true,
Speaker 1: and I think I've been gilly of this in my life.
Speaker 1: I will say to someone, you know, why wouldn't you
Speaker 1: do this? Why would you do that? But the truth is,
Speaker 1: and I really do believe this. You're allowed to live
Speaker 1: the life you want to live, you know, I mean
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't have to. I will say the
Speaker 1: one thing about when you said Bill gets testy when
Speaker 1: people ask him to be fair. I know Bill pretty well,
Speaker 1: and he was testy before they asked him. He was
Speaker 1: testy when he woke up. But he's he's another interesting
Speaker 1: stand up. Bill Maher. Actually people, I don't think people
Speaker 1: realize how he's really good. He's really interesting and oh yeah,
Speaker 1: like a live show with Bill is an interesting thing
Speaker 1: at sea.
Speaker 2: I just I just saw him at the MGM where
Speaker 2: I played back, and it's not even.
Speaker 1: A month ago or so. They was phenomenal.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, he's a great stand up and he's
Speaker 2: that was his last That's what he invited me, he said,
Speaker 2: for his last standing.
Speaker 3: And so I think, you know you're not, you know,
Speaker 3: like your final farewell tour.
Speaker 1: You'll be back. He said, no, this is it.
Speaker 2: So yeah, he just wanted to not do stand up anymore.
Speaker 2: So I was like I had to go see it,
Speaker 2: you know, to say this last one.
Speaker 1: But it was great. I've given it up a couple
Speaker 1: of times, didn't run White retire a couple of times,
Speaker 1: a couple of times and came back again. Have you
Speaker 1: ever retired?
Speaker 2: Only in the early days when I just couldn't get
Speaker 2: it together, couldn't get go, you know, gigs lined up,
Speaker 2: so I quit.
Speaker 1: Got back, So you did the retirement first. I couldn't
Speaker 1: get anymore.
Speaker 3: Hello, this is Craig Ferguson and.
Speaker 1: I want to let you know I have a brand
Speaker 1: new stand up comedy special out now on YouTube. It's
Speaker 1: called I'm So Happy, and I would be so happy
Speaker 1: if you checked it out. To watch the special, just
Speaker 1: go to my YouTube channel at the Craig Ferguson Show
Speaker 1: and is this right there? Just click it and play
Speaker 1: it and it's free. I can't look. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to come around your house and show you how to
Speaker 1: do it. If you can't do it, then you can't
Speaker 1: have it. But if you can figure it out, it's yours.
Speaker 1: Do you miss they? I mean, I still think about
Speaker 1: it a little bit like in the old days when
Speaker 1: I was a you know, doing stand up in clubs
Speaker 1: and stuff. For me, it was in the UK, but
Speaker 1: the kind of the wildness of it was kind of
Speaker 1: different to the way is now. I think that you know,
Speaker 1: younger comics. They do a lot of their work online,
Speaker 1: and they do a lot of their work, I mean,
Speaker 1: which is just a different way of doing It's not
Speaker 1: better or worse, but I feel like maybe they don't
Speaker 1: get quite the wild nights that maybe people of our
Speaker 1: generation got the win they you go and do a
Speaker 1: show like at two o'clock in the morning somewhere and
Speaker 1: stuff will be nuts.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't know about these young comics.
Speaker 2: Do they get a chance to have like a lot
Speaker 2: of them like internet like you say that social Internet
Speaker 2: stars of today. There's a lot of them. Yeah, And
Speaker 2: I always wonder, like if I want to go see them,
Speaker 2: like how would that be differently? Like have they had
Speaker 2: Have they done shows and clubs where they got there,
Speaker 2: you know, or they just they're just talking to a camera.
Speaker 2: I mean it's a different probably a different thing.
Speaker 1: And I think it's a different skill for sure. I
Speaker 1: think some of them, some of them do and some
Speaker 1: of them doing. I mean I've talked to a lot
Speaker 1: of the guys that I've talked to, you know, younger guys,
Speaker 1: not necessarily super young, but younger. They do podcasts like
Speaker 1: are You Garbage? Or Being Ian with Jordan and those
Speaker 1: podcasts that these uh, they're they're people maybe in their thirties,
Speaker 1: mid to late thirties, and they're real comics. They're good
Speaker 1: at they're good at but they you know, they will
Speaker 1: do the Village Underground or you know, Corny Sailor, or
Speaker 1: they do clubs and stuff. They're real comics and they're
Speaker 1: really good. But I think some the real younger ones,
Speaker 1: all they want to do is the right, Yeah, the
Speaker 1: social media stuff? Right? Why why? Why why go to
Speaker 1: a club? Right? I guess, I mean, do you do it?
Speaker 1: Do you? I mean I don't. I don't really I have.
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously people put stuff on Instagram and Twitter
Speaker 1: and stuff for me, but I pay him to do it.
Speaker 1: I don't do it. Do you have? Uh? Might have
Speaker 1: people do it.
Speaker 2: But also if I if I come up with something
Speaker 2: like just like I was just in a home in
Speaker 2: Orlando a week ago, if something happens funny like on
Speaker 2: my so and my day personal day, I'll post it
Speaker 2: and people can always tell the ones that I do
Speaker 2: for me and the ones that that my people post. One.
Speaker 1: But you know, it was just on a plane. I
Speaker 1: thought this was great. We we.
Speaker 2: The lady comes on, she says, hell morning, welcome aboard.
Speaker 2: We have we have someone with the peanut allergy on
Speaker 2: the airplane. So we were we were we were wondering
Speaker 2: if everyone could be so nicest, if you have anything
Speaker 2: with peanuts, we would appreciate you not opening him, and
Speaker 2: the person with the peanut.
Speaker 1: Alge would really appreciate it. It was kind of a weird.
Speaker 2: Quiet over the over the plane and this guy next
Speaker 2: to me, and I want to say, just for references,
Speaker 2: literally the cable guy kind of guy.
Speaker 3: He you know, just him, big guy with beard and
Speaker 3: his hat.
Speaker 2: He reached down and grabbed a bag of peanut m
Speaker 2: and m's and he ripped it open and he looked
Speaker 2: over I sort he looked right over at me.
Speaker 1: He goes, he'll be all right, and I just thought.
Speaker 2: And I just started laughing. I said, that's hilarious. So
Speaker 2: I get my book out and I start writing. He says,
Speaker 2: is that going in your show? And I said, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's great. He says, you're not gonna You're not gonna
Speaker 2: tell him it's me right, And I say no. So
Speaker 2: I got my phone and said, well.
Speaker 1: Now I can get your picture at it. It was
Speaker 1: just so funny.
Speaker 3: This guy was just that was just brilliant.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like all right, alb a right bear,
Speaker 1: all right. It's funny. Though there was social media. I
Speaker 1: kind of like, I used to do what you do,
Speaker 1: like I'd go in it and I you know, but
Speaker 1: I'd also do it personally and I had other people
Speaker 1: do it. But I found out that if I have
Speaker 1: the Instagram, uh app I'm so addictive as a person,
Speaker 1: I'm in it. I'm just I just went it, or
Speaker 1: so I can. I'm too addictive for all of that.
Speaker 1: I just can't do it. There's only one addiction that
Speaker 1: I've never felt, never kind of grabbed me, and it was,
Speaker 1: weirdly enough, gambling. I have no interest in gambling, never
Speaker 1: never touched, never been anywhere near it.
Speaker 2: Same and that's strange. All the years that you and
Speaker 2: I both have worked in casinos, I've been. I mean,
Speaker 2: my life is Vegas. People always say how do you
Speaker 2: do that?
Speaker 1: I'm like, what do you mean? Like how do you?
Speaker 2: Guys said, I don't gamble like you don't ever, I'm
Speaker 2: like never. I don't want to be on smoke, I
Speaker 2: don't want to be.
Speaker 3: Around people I don't like I don't like counting under pressure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny. I've tried it a couple of times.
Speaker 1: I used to.
Speaker 3: Five, I hate you hit that them like am I
Speaker 3: supposed to? And like you don't know how to play?
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, you know, no, can't do it.
Speaker 1: I tried it a couple of times and it bores me.
Speaker 1: It just bores me. Yeah, I don't want to. You know,
Speaker 1: other ways to lose money.
Speaker 3: I agreed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I feel like as well, if you are
Speaker 1: a performer. Look, the truth is, if you're anybody, but
Speaker 1: I think the performer, you're very aware of it. There's
Speaker 1: enough gamble just being a person, you know, that's.
Speaker 3: Just being the person in alive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, just like walking around, it's all that.
Speaker 1: So you go in Vegas, I guess that would have
Speaker 1: happened in the last week years. You get super into
Speaker 1: and like going to the gym. You changed your body
Speaker 1: a lot, didn't you. I Mean, I see you like
Speaker 1: you're really ripped and you have been for a long time.
Speaker 1: Is that was that a thing that because you were
Speaker 1: in Vegas, because you were free during the day and
Speaker 1: stuff like that kind of two things.
Speaker 2: I started working out when I was twelve. For thirteen
Speaker 2: years old, I was on the.
Speaker 1: Wrest I didn't know I was a swimmer.
Speaker 2: And I got on the wrestling team at like fourteen
Speaker 2: and we had to lift weights, and I was like
Speaker 2: lift weights and swimming and wrestling and then so I
Speaker 2: was always an athlete to a degree.
Speaker 3: And then when I got into comedy, I just started.
Speaker 2: When I was on the road, really I started bringing
Speaker 2: my own waste all my opening accent. Remember I did this.
Speaker 2: I'd bring my own little weights and put him in
Speaker 2: my truck when I drove.
Speaker 1: So I get to the gig.
Speaker 2: I would sit in the park a lot and do
Speaker 2: like just some little workout. And I've always been i mean,
Speaker 2: go back, look from nineteen eighty five, whatever it was.
Speaker 1: And then when I got to Vegas, I was I
Speaker 1: was I literally had all day there.
Speaker 2: Was nothing, So I'm not going to sit in my
Speaker 2: So I started going to the gym a little bit more,
Speaker 2: and yeah, I probably put on maybe I got a
Speaker 2: little crazy into it. And then it was like a
Speaker 2: year of it, and I was like, yeah, this is
Speaker 2: what am I doing. I'm not a workout guy. I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm a workout guy, but I'm not a body builder.
Speaker 2: So I completely stopped again and so I you know,
Speaker 2: people always I thought you were you know, No, I'm
Speaker 2: always been the same pretty much. I wait, one fifty
Speaker 2: eight people think I will people think I weigh tw
Speaker 2: hundred pounds because I have a huge car.
Speaker 1: But other than that, it's just that that I mean,
Speaker 1: that's but you take it off. It's it's it's a
Speaker 1: strap on. It's part of the show. It's part of
Speaker 1: they don't know. They don't know that. They don't they
Speaker 1: don't know that it's a fifty pound strap on.
Speaker 3: I mean, eventually, no, And that's how could I just
Speaker 3: still be said.
Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you this. You keep it fair?
Speaker 1: Is it? I can't remember it. I don't remember being
Speaker 1: offended by a single thing you did. But is it
Speaker 1: cleaning the show? I can't remember. I mean mostly yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it really is. I mean it's all silly.
Speaker 2: I mean, there's there's there's a couple of things that
Speaker 2: can be in you end, du it, I think, But no,
Speaker 2: it's not. It's a clean show. Absolutely. I mean really,
Speaker 2: I guess I talk your Vegas talk about you know,
Speaker 2: it's no, I'm trying to think the dirtiest joke I am.
Speaker 3: I don't even know if I have like the dirtiest
Speaker 3: joke I am.
Speaker 1: I had one.
Speaker 2: I had one, Well, I had one I think I
Speaker 2: might have done on your show, and I think when
Speaker 2: I did it, you guys, let me do it.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you the joke.
Speaker 2: So when I did the tonight show, it was a
Speaker 2: podium for it had the presidential seal on it and
Speaker 2: had these bells like true false, and I'd have buttons
Speaker 2: that would control it, and I would do it was
Speaker 2: Clinton back then, so I'd say, ah, I remember that
Speaker 2: I did not have and I go I did not
Speaker 2: and then you know, Hiler ding Ding he killed. So
Speaker 2: at the end, though, I need to have a you know,
Speaker 2: a punchline because that was funny, but it needed a
Speaker 2: big bang again.
Speaker 3: So I would do the whole Clinton, and it was
Speaker 3: a good Clinton.
Speaker 1: It was good.
Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden I hit a foot
Speaker 2: pedal and this myn uncle Winsky head would come up,
Speaker 2: just just just you know, and I go, not now,
Speaker 2: and I'd go back to the bit. Well that was
Speaker 2: the end that you know killed. So I go on
Speaker 2: the leno and this is great because I'm I'm rehearsing it.
Speaker 2: I show the whole the lady the standards and practices,
Speaker 2: lady who loved me and also hated me. She gets up,
Speaker 2: we get done with the whole thing, and she walks
Speaker 2: over and she's like, you're good, and I'm like, honestly.
Speaker 3: She goes, yes, it's even the podium.
Speaker 1: She goes, yeah. So I'm all excited.
Speaker 2: I'm back in the dressing room getting ready and she
Speaker 2: comes in like a minute before the show starts, and
Speaker 2: she goes, everything's good, but you can't you know, you
Speaker 2: can't do with the podium.
Speaker 1: You can't. You can't put her head down do the thing?
Speaker 1: Ye what they could come up.
Speaker 3: I just I just couldn't put my hand and put
Speaker 3: it in.
Speaker 1: You could, Oh, it can come up, but it can't.
Speaker 1: We done, Yeah, so I said, So.
Speaker 3: I go to the prop guys, I'm like, can you
Speaker 3: make it? Can you make it work?
Speaker 1: It can get when I when I.
Speaker 2: Push it up, it'll go back down. And they're like
Speaker 2: they looked at it, and I mean I made it myself.
Speaker 1: And it wouldn't work. So I go on and I'm.
Speaker 2: You know, just don't use your hand to push it down.
Speaker 2: So I'm doing the joke. It's fucking killing.
Speaker 1: The whole thing.
Speaker 2: The head comes up. The crowd is nuts and I
Speaker 2: just used my elbow because they had to go down
Speaker 2: like I couldn't. It was like I laughed, like where's
Speaker 2: the big laugh? So I went like that, not now,
Speaker 2: and then you know, it killed and I get over
Speaker 2: and she comes but now I'm in trouble. Not trouble,
Speaker 2: but she said we had to we have to edit
Speaker 2: it now on the East coast because.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I told you, I told you not to.
Speaker 3: I said, well, I can't.
Speaker 1: I didn't have an ending. Yeah, it's something you got
Speaker 1: to be clever, you know.
Speaker 3: You can't use your hand, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's hard something the glove don't fit, you know,
Speaker 1: you must have quit. Well, if the gloves don't fit,
Speaker 1: you must have quit.
Speaker 2: That.
Speaker 1: That proves that that if it rains, you don't have
Speaker 1: to do the time. If it rains, no time, no time,
Speaker 1: no times, no times in jail. For you, did you
Speaker 1: ever with me Jimpson? He was in Vegas look oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I knew him really well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it was one of It was one
Speaker 2: of those interesting things though, because for for for for
Speaker 2: the longest time, everyone would say, like, you know, I
Speaker 2: see oj every day and I'm like, I'm out. I
Speaker 2: never see an O J ever and ever, and I'm like, Cam,
Speaker 2: I have not seen OJ, you know, not that I
Speaker 2: wanted to see him.
Speaker 1: I was just why have I not seen? He's everywhere
Speaker 1: I'm at, you know. So I go to this.
Speaker 2: Restaurant he's always at one day and I sit down
Speaker 2: and sure enough, I just sit down and I look
Speaker 2: over and I'm like, god, dang if it's not OJ, right,
Speaker 2: I mean right next to me, and so I'm I'm like,
Speaker 2: get my phone out. He's talking to somebody and he's
Speaker 2: playing his next murder and I'm I see this, like
Speaker 2: this knife, you know, on my thing.
Speaker 3: So it's like a hack. It's like a hacked joke,
Speaker 3: right it. But he does this so I might have
Speaker 3: my camera and I go I said, I'm sitting next okay,
Speaker 3: coming up, and I put on my Instagram. Right, it
Speaker 3: was really funny.
Speaker 2: Five minutes after I posted, right, I'm like, only in Vegas,
Speaker 2: fucking OJ that this guy comes in.
Speaker 1: He's his best friend. His name is Scott. Like me.
Speaker 2: He says, he's hey, hey Jews Joe OJ, and he's
Speaker 2: he sees me. He's like, uh, Scott, I said, hey,
Speaker 2: and he's like, you know oj you know Cara Top
Speaker 2: And I go, no, hey, and he goes, how are
Speaker 2: you doing?
Speaker 1: And I said great.
Speaker 3: He says, you got to watch you gotta follow his Instagram.
Speaker 1: This stuff is so good.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, delete, delete DEALI did you delete?
Speaker 1: Did you get seconds after I did? I'm like, oh, fuck, jeez,
Speaker 1: take that one off real quick. Do you have a
Speaker 1: lot of followers on Instagram? Do you have a lot
Speaker 1: of people following? A billion people? A billion? That's great, congratulations,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm the best. Uh No, I have.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 1: I follow it a lot.
Speaker 2: I mean compared to some No, I don't have millions
Speaker 2: because I don't. I don't show my boobies, but I
Speaker 2: mean throwing my boobs. I think we can get that
Speaker 2: number up.
Speaker 1: Well, you know that's your only fans account. I also
Speaker 1: have people who I do have. I don't do my
Speaker 1: only fans anymore. There was a remember God was used
Speaker 1: to do this, but Bernie Mac used to do that.
Speaker 1: Barnie used to do that. This great baby tired of
Speaker 1: fuck it, tired of fucking fucking hilarious. He was great,
Speaker 1: Yeah you run Barnie, Yeah a few times. Yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: he was. I'm just trying to think of the guys
Speaker 1: that I remember from playing in Vegas back in the day.
Speaker 1: Barnie was up there, it was amazing. Yea, Who's who's
Speaker 1: playing there now? Apart from you? Obviously, you're like, you're
Speaker 1: like the Celine On except you're you know, celin On.
Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, You're like, you're like
Speaker 1: a Vegas thing now. I like that.
Speaker 2: I'm like the Celine Dion of the Yeah. No, because
Speaker 2: you don't think there's a longevity, I've been your right.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's not a lot of stand up comics here anymore,
Speaker 2: which is interesting, you know, a lot of a lot
Speaker 2: of the shows or besides the cirk shows and what
Speaker 2: they used to be, like amazing Jonathan, there's not you
Speaker 2: Penn and Teller is still here, Okay, Comedy Magic, there's not.
Speaker 2: I don't think there's another actual stand up comedian.
Speaker 1: No, probably No, I mean I think long you got.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there used to be George Wallace used to be
Speaker 3: these stand ups that were there.
Speaker 1: George Wallace, that was the great best ten PM show.
Speaker 1: That was a great show. I used to it.
Speaker 2: I would love telling George that, I said, George it's
Speaker 2: only it's only the best time because it's the only
Speaker 2: ten pm show.
Speaker 1: It's not the best. It's all the bus sides and stuff.
Speaker 1: Best show, yeah said, is there a law shows? Yeah,
Speaker 1: no other shows. It was the only show. That's what
Speaker 1: was good. How long did Georgia and that was a
Speaker 1: long time, right, he was there for a long time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he was there for a good ten years maybe, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I used the record holder then twenty years for a comedian,
Speaker 1: it's quite a big close, I think.
Speaker 3: I think for a comedian at the same same hotel, right,
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 1: Apart from that time, you worked in Hooters for a
Speaker 1: little bit after that, so that that should still count.
Speaker 1: I can't believe I remembered it as you were being
Speaker 1: in Whos like, oh no, wait, no, we went to
Speaker 1: who rested what it was? Yeah, it was right across
Speaker 1: the street, and you said it was he was so convenient.
Speaker 1: It was the Hooters casino, that's right, because I remember
Speaker 1: I was like, we have to go and look at
Speaker 1: that place. We have to go, yes, yeah, and it
Speaker 1: was sad. It was a sad but it's not there anymore,
Speaker 1: is it.
Speaker 2: I don't God, you know what, I don't think so
Speaker 2: I think it's called something else now knockers or.
Speaker 1: Did you do you have your own Like when Wayne
Speaker 1: and Newton was who did a long time in Vegas,
Speaker 1: they add, is he had his own little railway or
Speaker 1: something or LIBERACEI or something, or a little railway from
Speaker 1: his house all the way to his dressing room. You
Speaker 1: shall get that. Yeah, I think either Liberachi or or
Speaker 1: when you're somebody that you could get. You could get
Speaker 1: on a little rail car and go straight to under
Speaker 1: his dressing room. Oh wow, I got to get on here. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you have to. Yeah, because I don't I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know where your places in Vegas.
Speaker 1: But if it's a long way from I imagine it's
Speaker 1: a healthy enough distance from the MGM. Yeah, you might
Speaker 1: want to get yourself a little you know, underground railway
Speaker 1: to take a railway. I love that. Yeah, Now you've
Speaker 1: got to get you, got to get you. Now.
Speaker 2: I'm going to like look into this because not for me,
Speaker 2: but I got to see if what you're saying is true,
Speaker 2: because that's just amazing.
Speaker 1: I feel like because you make so much of your
Speaker 1: own props and stuff. Yeah, I think that you could
Speaker 1: probably put together on an underground railway. But then you yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: do you have any like penguins and stuff? When you're
Speaker 1: in penguins? Do you have any penguins? What the folks
Speaker 1: called You gotta have some kind of eccentricity. You gotta
Speaker 1: have penguins or a lama or something. Yeah.
Speaker 3: There was a guy who they used to have a lama,
Speaker 3: you know at his house.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, the guy that.
Speaker 3: Owns the shoe guy, whatever it was he owned he
Speaker 3: had it.
Speaker 1: Was like my shoe. Yeah, what the hell was that
Speaker 1: name of that?
Speaker 3: You and all the big Zappos, Jimmy, Jimmy the shoe
Speaker 3: the shoe Guy.
Speaker 1: Do you eat a lama? But you don't have You
Speaker 1: don't have a lama. You don't have penguins. You're doing
Speaker 1: you know, you don't go crazy. You just work. Just
Speaker 1: one horrible wig and that's all I have. Is that
Speaker 1: a way? Guess? Long? Yeah? A lot. Yeah. I's gonna
Speaker 1: say though, like usually guy red hair, guys go gray.
Speaker 1: You don't see me have a single gray hair in
Speaker 1: your head. I've got a few, yeah, but damn they're
Speaker 1: on my not. I was going to say, I don't
Speaker 1: know if you notice I've gone a little Gray.
Speaker 2: I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to
Speaker 2: say right right when you were just when we first started,
Speaker 2: you popped up.
Speaker 1: I went, oh god, it's like it's been it's been
Speaker 1: a while. I was gonna say, I don't mind having
Speaker 1: snow on the roof, it's the snow in the basement
Speaker 1: that exactly.
Speaker 2: No, you haven't bit. You have very This is I'm
Speaker 2: seriously compliment to you on this. So there's people that great,
Speaker 2: like like they call that what pepper pepper right hair.
Speaker 2: But there's a lot of guys you'll see in the
Speaker 2: news and whatnot, they don't get that. Some people have
Speaker 2: just great salt pepper looks great on them.
Speaker 1: And then you get that one that's like yellow. Eve Gray, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it doesn't look good.
Speaker 3: You have a very nice it looks like the secret.
Speaker 1: What is it? Wait, let me zoom and it's it's
Speaker 1: bro cream ore bro cream. It's like this old Teamah yeah,
Speaker 1: the old Fox put it in. Yeah, yeah, that's bro cream.
Speaker 1: If he looks like Michael Douglas, and I mean that
Speaker 1: in a complimentary way, Michael Douglas is like eighty five
Speaker 1: years ago.
Speaker 3: Like a younger, like a younger Michael Douglas.
Speaker 1: Oh, like little Nike Douglas Douglas.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when he was Yeah, speaks of San Francisco.
Speaker 1: A great show.
Speaker 2: Show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Carl Malden, Yeah he was. He was hilarious. It
Speaker 1: was yeah. I don't know. All right, let's scover out
Speaker 1: of time, but I do want to say that, uh,
Speaker 1: And I want to say this to anyone who's listening.
Speaker 1: And I always say, that's what I'm talking about. You
Speaker 1: have to see this guy like you are one of
Speaker 1: the best life callings the live shows I have ever
Speaker 1: seen and will ever see. I think I cannot. I
Speaker 1: challenge anyone to go to your show with no laugh.
Speaker 1: I just challenge it's freaking hilarious. I don't it's you
Speaker 1: because I went and I think as well, when I
Speaker 1: first I went in with a little bit of resistance.
Speaker 1: I think that that helps because then your expectations are like,
Speaker 1: he's not going to make me laugh. Then you feel
Speaker 1: better when you do, and then when you give into it,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, it's so true.
Speaker 2: Though. You know how many times people say that to me,
Speaker 2: Like every night, if I have a meat reader before
Speaker 2: or before the show, there's a meet before.
Speaker 1: They say things that are odd that are odd, right,
Speaker 1: and you just laugh at it.
Speaker 2: But if it's after they all say, and you know what,
Speaker 2: I gotta be honest. We did not want to We
Speaker 2: didn't want to come, did we. No, we did not
Speaker 2: want to come.
Speaker 1: We didn't. He really didn't want to write.
Speaker 3: And you're like, oh, thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I got to be honest.
Speaker 3: We thought we've never been a fan of yours ever,
Speaker 3: but that was really that was good.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, thanks, I get great. I don't I
Speaker 1: don't like you, but my mother has dad love you?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, my mother loved you, so I thought to
Speaker 1: honor her memory, I would come and see you. I
Speaker 1: don't really care. I'm not a fan of my mom
Speaker 1: loved you, but I'm not really in honor of my mom. See, yeah,
Speaker 1: you get all that. I have it on the plane. Yes,
Speaker 1: he says, man, you look good.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what do you mean?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: What does that? What does that?
Speaker 3: What does that mean?
Speaker 1: You look good? Now? That look good? Now? What did
Speaker 1: you look like that?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 3: I didn't know what I said, but what reference point
Speaker 3: are you talking about it? You know?
Speaker 1: You know you were just you look good?
Speaker 3: You look healthy? Like did I not look you didn't
Speaker 3: look good. You didn't look good.
Speaker 1: You do look healthy, you do look good. I had
Speaker 1: more power to you. I really wish I could be
Speaker 1: in Vegas to see you. But I've got a feel
Speaker 1: and you'll be there for another twenty years, so I'll
Speaker 1: get around to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hope though, And I wish I could be
Speaker 2: there in New England to put the brill cream in
Speaker 2: your hair.
Speaker 1: But oh my god, you England bro cream. The sun
Speaker 1: is shining, it's beautiful. Now you look like Vegas but
Speaker 1: with moisture. Yeah, yeah, you live there, You live there.
Speaker 1: I spent a lot of time area in New England. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. So one of your homes,
Speaker 1: it's one of one of my many homes, Yes, one
Speaker 1: of my many of homes up down in the eastern
Speaker 1: seaboard of the United States. I love that.
Speaker 2: I love when you see a neighbor in Florida is
Speaker 2: a billionaire and he's building this house. It's like fifty
Speaker 2: thousand square feet, literally the biggest house in Florida, And
Speaker 2: people say, you know them, right, And I said yeah,
Speaker 2: I said, they're really nice people. And they said, why
Speaker 2: would they spend all that money in one house? And
Speaker 2: I said, because they have nine of them. Yeah, they
Speaker 2: go they do, and I go, yeah, they have one.
Speaker 1: In Aspen, that's twice that size. They have one in
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I got one Hawaii, they got one in France, they
Speaker 2: got one in Rome, they got one in Paris. I'm like,
Speaker 2: they're like what, I'm like, yeah, so it's just another
Speaker 2: home to them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just to that. I like that. So that's that's
Speaker 1: what's happening here.
Speaker 2: How would you Why would you have a Lamborghini? You
Speaker 2: can get ten cars of that. He has thirty of them, yes, yes,
Speaker 2: a thousand cars. Yeah yeah, look you can get you know,
Speaker 2: it must be like ten Ford Explorers.
Speaker 1: For a labor. I just love that. How was that that?
Speaker 2: Like? I used to do that when I was a
Speaker 2: kid because our neighbor had a Mercedes. And I just
Speaker 2: think you could buy four cutlasses or five Cutless Supreme.
Speaker 2: Why would you just get five cutless Supreme instead of
Speaker 2: one stupid car?
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's a it's a fair point. Get
Speaker 1: out of here. More power to you. It's great to
Speaker 1: talk to you. I am and remain a fan and
Speaker 1: your friend. Thanks pal, look after your lips. There no
Speaker 1: giving you a big wet kiss. Well, okay, thank you.
Speaker 1: I love you, Bubby. Thanks, Stay in touch, Stay in
Speaker 1: Touched by
Speaker 2: But U