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Speaker 1: This is John. This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we have some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 2: got a quick chum in an ad break from a

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Speaker 2: sponsors keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 3: My stepmother blames me for alienating her child, but it's

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Speaker 3: her own fault.

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Speaker 4: Send her to space, so she's the alien.

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Speaker 3: Et phone home. So my twenty female dad is with

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Speaker 3: his affair partner Laura. He and Laura have a kid,

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Speaker 3: Lucy thirteen female. Lucy was conceived after my dad and

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Speaker 3: Laura were already together for a while. Her birth wasn't

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Speaker 3: the reason my parents split, in case anyone is wondering.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user National Property thirty four,

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Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay Storytime suburd it. I'm Keon, I'm.

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Speaker 1: Carly, and I'm Dakoda.

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Speaker 3: But obviously, my dad's family knew about the affair once

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Speaker 3: my parents split, and they banned Laura from ever attending

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Speaker 3: family events. To this day, the only people on that

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Speaker 3: side of the family who have ever met her are

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Speaker 3: me and my one doesn't. That's crazy, just two people

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Speaker 3: who came to stay with me at my dad's for

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Speaker 3: a few days. One time, my grandparents told Dad they'd

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Speaker 3: happily be active in Lucy's life, but it would have

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Speaker 3: to be Dad that facilitated the relationship meeting. He'd have

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Speaker 3: to bring her to see them alone. Laura said, no.

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Speaker 3: I guess she thought eventually she'd force herself into the

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Speaker 3: family through Lucy. But all it did was me. No

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Speaker 3: one ever met Lucy, and that sucks for Lucy. My

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Speaker 3: dad would take me to my grandparents or aunt's place

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Speaker 3: without Laura and Lucy, and that was just how it went. Well.

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Speaker 3: It recently came up that my grandparents were giving me

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Speaker 3: money towards buying an apartment when I graduate, which set

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Speaker 3: Laura off. She's always been bitter that my grandparents financed

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Speaker 3: my schooling but my dad paid for university. Why, okay,

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Speaker 3: you're up set, Laura because the granddaughter is getting stuff

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Speaker 3: from the grandparents and she's loved unconditionally. Because I don't know, Oh,

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Speaker 3: he's not scummy, yeah.

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Speaker 4: Katie Paladin says, can anyone say projection?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: She was passive, aggressively grumbling at the dinner table that

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Speaker 3: this is why she felt we could have asked them

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Speaker 3: to pay for my university and that it would be

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Speaker 3: nice if Lucy got to have grandparents. But some people

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Speaker 3: are petty and cruel. You are.

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Speaker 5: She could have had grandparents if you hadn't isolated her,

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Speaker 5: if you had just been like, yes, Lucy can totally

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Speaker 5: go to the family events with her dad, she would

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Speaker 5: know all these people.

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Speaker 3: I looked at my dad like, are we really playing

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Speaker 3: that game? But he didn't say anything. Then Laura turns

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Speaker 3: to Lucy and goes, you should know none of this

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Speaker 3: is your fault. Life isn't fair, and you got the

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Speaker 3: short and of the stick with certain family members. So

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Speaker 3: I just said, yeah, the short of the stick family

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Speaker 3: member is you, Laura Burn, here's some ice.

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Speaker 4: Crazy.

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Speaker 3: Lucy could have had the same relationship with my grandparents

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Speaker 3: that I do, but you were so selfish that you

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Speaker 3: screwed your own kid out of that might drop drop.

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Speaker 3: Laura argued that no one who hated her could have

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Speaker 3: a relationship with her daughter. So I was like, well,

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Speaker 3: what are you mad about then? That your principles ended

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Speaker 3: up sabotaging your kid? Maybe maybe that's on you.

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Speaker 5: I will say, though, like I don't think that it's

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Speaker 5: always fair for the kids to be put in the

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Speaker 5: middle of things like this, Like, I think it really

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Speaker 5: sucks that Lucy couldn't have that, And I feel like

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Speaker 5: at some point, like, okay, fine, she was your dad's

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Speaker 5: a fair partner.

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Speaker 4: We don't like her, we don't need to like her,

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Speaker 4: but we.

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Speaker 5: Can still lighten this band a little bit for the

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Speaker 5: sake of the literal child that they have together.

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Speaker 3: But Laura also needs to understand, like, but she's not

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Speaker 3: be like, yeah, you can't. You're not gonna be liked.

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Speaker 1: You.

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Speaker 3: You are the sole reason for one Lucy having no

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Speaker 3: relationship with any of the family members, and two the

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Speaker 3: reason why everything's so messed up because of you. I mean, yes,

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Speaker 3: you're Opie's father, too involved in that. At this point,

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Speaker 3: my dad was just giving me a passing stare, so

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Speaker 3: I just went back to my food. Laura sent me

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Speaker 3: a text later that night about how much she didn't

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Speaker 3: appreciate me, saying that in front of her child, and

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Speaker 3: that it was her prerogative how she managed that relationship.

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Speaker 3: She also said, my dad's family are cruel and vidictive.

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Speaker 3: I hate Laura.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, there's the cruel and vindictive ones. Your dad had

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Speaker 4: an affair because.

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Speaker 3: Here's my tiny little whote, here's my tiny little violin.

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Speaker 3: Do you like that? I don't care. This is your fault.

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Speaker 3: So back to the story. Opie doesn't reply, and honestly,

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Speaker 3: the only reason I don't have her blocked is in

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Speaker 3: case my dad is taken ill suddenly. But now my

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Speaker 3: dad is saying it's caused issues at home because Lucy

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Speaker 3: is finally grasping that Laura is the one who wouldn't

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Speaker 3: allow her to have a relationship with Dad's side and

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Speaker 3: now is apparently pretty mad about it.

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Speaker 4: Lucy.

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Speaker 3: He's saying the way I went at Laura was inappropriate

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Speaker 3: in front of a child, not a child, and that

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Speaker 3: Lucy shouldn't have heard all that. But I think she

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Speaker 3: only heard it because her mother was ret conning reality.

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Speaker 3: I didn't mean to cause an issue between Lucy and Laura,

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Speaker 3: but honestly, I do feel like Laura was asking for

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Speaker 3: it by acting like an idiot in front of someone

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Speaker 3: who knew the whole story. Just to clarify, no, my

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Speaker 3: dad's family didn't immediately forgive him for a long time.

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Speaker 3: They only invited him to things if he brought me

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Speaker 3: During his custody time, but time heals most things. They

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Speaker 3: all still think he's a prick, but honestly, I'm sure

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Speaker 3: they thought that before. No, they haven't totally cut him

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Speaker 3: out because we're just not that kind of family. But

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Speaker 3: Laura was never family to start with, so it's way

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Speaker 3: easier to never make her an acquaintance than to cut

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Speaker 3: her out on your own blood relative then that you've

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Speaker 3: known for forty years. I think that's fairly obvious, right.

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Speaker 3: I am not mad that Laura set the boundary she did,

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Speaker 3: and I'm not mad my parents got divorced. I got

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Speaker 3: mad that Laura said a totally fair boundary again that

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Speaker 3: my dad went along with, not saying he's blameless, he's

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Speaker 3: just not the one actively complaining, and then tried to

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Speaker 3: pretend that the consequences of said boundary shouldn't have happened.

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Speaker 3: If you don't want your kid around people who don't

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Speaker 3: like you, again, understandable in this scenario. Why are you

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Speaker 3: whining that you're not around for your kid? And we

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Speaker 3: have some comments, Carly, I.

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Speaker 5: Think that every person in this story needs to lighten

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Speaker 5: up a little bit in some way, but I think

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Speaker 5: Laura has to do the most of like you did

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Speaker 5: this to yourself. It's again like you dug this. Sorry, guys,

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Speaker 5: uh lie in it now.

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Speaker 1: At the same why.

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Speaker 5: They like me, Like, if it's been at least thirteen years, presumably.

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Speaker 3: Because of luiybe a little bit longer.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, right, probably longer, Like, couldn't we start just trying

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Speaker 5: to see who they are as people? Like, couldn't we

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Speaker 5: let them in a little bit with the understanding that

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Speaker 5: no one needs to like anybody.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's a little bit of yeah, this is

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Speaker 3: that whole dynamic is one thing. Yeah, but for Lucy's case.

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Speaker 5: It's because they have Lucy that I'm kind of like,

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Speaker 5: could we have lightened up a little bit so that

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Speaker 5: that boundary didn't go But at the end of the day,

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Speaker 5: if Laura's always going to be like, if these people

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Speaker 5: don't like me, she can't come like Laura needs to

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Speaker 5: lighten up.

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Speaker 3: It's the most And yeah, and now Lucy's finding out

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Speaker 3: the truth, which is insane.

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Speaker 4: And a lot to find out at thirteen.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but we have some comments comment number one, not

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Speaker 3: the a hole. She's thirteen, and it's it's better she

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Speaker 3: knows her mom was the issue and not her child's self.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't be surprised if she starts asking you for

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Speaker 3: hard truths going forward, because her mom spins crap so

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Speaker 3: she always she's always the victim. I assume Lucy knows

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Speaker 3: her mom wasn't a fair partner Initially. I can't imagine

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Speaker 3: the fantasy her mom's fun about them being destined and nothing,

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Speaker 3: not even a wedding ring, could stop their love. It

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Speaker 3: sucks the rest of the family cut her loose to

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Speaker 3: avoid her mother. Lucy's innocent, and too many kids end

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Speaker 3: up ostracized with this kind of thing when they should

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Speaker 3: have just saved the rage and freeze out for the

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Speaker 3: actual guilty parties. Op says, I honestly couldn't answer this.

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Speaker 3: I barely see Lucy and Laura. I presume she knows.

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Speaker 3: I remember I threatened to tell her when I was

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Speaker 3: like fourteen, but I never did. But obviously she was

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Speaker 3: way younger then. She probably knows now. I would hope

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Speaker 3: she knows, and there's reply she really might not know.

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Speaker 3: Laura might have lied slash omitted to save face, and

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Speaker 3: she has no contact with the family. So if you

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Speaker 3: didn't and your cousin didn't during the one visit and

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Speaker 3: her parents didn't, don't be shocked if she comes to

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Speaker 3: you someday for answers. Just be kind when you tell

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Speaker 3: her the truth, and do it in person, because she's

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Speaker 3: gonna flip out at thirteen if she asks you one day.

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Speaker 3: I hope she's older or your dad will nut up

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Speaker 3: and tell her. And there is an update. First thing

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Speaker 3: that happened, Laura would not stop texting me, not like constantly,

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Speaker 3: but once or twice a day about her feelings or

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Speaker 3: demanding a response slash conversation. No response is a response, Laura.

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Speaker 3: This middle aged woman having a crashout via WhatsApp was

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Speaker 3: not on my bingo card, But eventually I just had

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Speaker 3: to tell her. I don't want to block her because

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Speaker 3: I do want to be there for my dad in

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Speaker 3: an emergency, but I was going to. I was going

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Speaker 3: to if she didn't stop bothering me more crash out material.

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Speaker 3: I called my dad and told him to get his

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Speaker 3: household under control because this was getting crazy. I wasn't

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Speaker 3: going to apologize to her. And in my whole life,

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Speaker 3: I've never had as much contact with this woman as

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Speaker 3: I had in this past week, and I wouldn't allow

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Speaker 3: it to continue. My dad was kind of getting that

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Speaker 3: it was an actual issue now, and I pushed him

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Speaker 3: a bit and the damn broke. So the wider contact

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Speaker 3: I was not aware of is that Lucy's only now

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Speaker 3: putting the pieces together of how Dad and Laura got

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Speaker 3: together again. We couldn't assume that she knew She vaguely

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Speaker 3: knew about the affair, but I guess she's finally getting

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Speaker 3: what that means now now that she's older, and how

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Speaker 3: much damage it did. And she's been asking a lot

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Speaker 3: of hard questions about it and has been really down

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Speaker 3: about it. That's probably why Laura was so triggered by

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Speaker 3: the mention of my grandparents and in a rush to

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Speaker 3: put her spin on it. But since the dinner, Lucy

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Speaker 3: has really really been raking Laura over the court for it,

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Speaker 3: apparently because she knows my dad would have let her

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Speaker 3: see the extended family were it not for Laura. My

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Speaker 3: dad also shared that Laura basically feels like she spent

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Speaker 3: a large chunk of her life being punished for the

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Speaker 3: affair and it's now weighing on her because of how

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Speaker 3: hard Lucy is taking it. Oh, it took you this long.

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Speaker 3: We have a side note. A lot of people were

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Speaker 3: rightly roasting my dad for the affair. But if the

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Speaker 3: above should prove anything, it's how much he is the

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Speaker 3: definition of a roach. The way this man manages to

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Speaker 3: get away with diabolical behavior relatively unscathed is shocking. I

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Speaker 3: was gonna say, yeah, they let him back over time, but.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and for a while it was only if he

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Speaker 4: was bringing ope.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: The second thing that my dad said and uncharacteristically admitted

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Speaker 3: was an Etha was telling Laura that probably part of

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Speaker 3: the reason no one ever eased up on meeting her

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Speaker 3: was because they all knew I can't stand her. So

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Speaker 3: he's throwing you under.

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Speaker 4: The bus, so he's lying.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the dad is no angel here. And I hold

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Speaker 3: my hands up because I did a lot of bad

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Speaker 3: mouthing Laura back in the day to my grandparents and aunts,

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Speaker 3: because well, I don't like her, and when you're a teenager,

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Speaker 3: you think that needs to be everyone's problem. I don't

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Speaker 3: think this is as big as a reason they still

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Speaker 3: won't meet her as my dad probably made it seem.

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Speaker 3: But he did admit he threw me under the bus

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Speaker 3: for it ages ago, and Laura has never forgotten it.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, woohoo.

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Speaker 3: There's a little bit left, but I think we've we've

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Speaker 3: said it multiple times.

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Speaker 4: Now, like a sucky situation. You don't really know if

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Speaker 4: there is much of an outcome for this though.

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Speaker 5: Besides, like, is there a way that Laura will lighten

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Speaker 5: up to let Lucy meet these people? And if she's not,

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Speaker 5: you're kind of still back to where you were, unless

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Speaker 5: we deem Lucy as like they can see that Lucy's

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Speaker 5: old enough to want that and make her own decision.

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Speaker 3: That's what I was gonna say.

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Speaker 4: At the end of the day, Laura at thirteen, she

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Speaker 4: still could be like, you're not.

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Speaker 3: Going, which is crazy.

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Speaker 4: It would be crazy.

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Speaker 3: This is where you text Lucy and be like, hey, Pigmy,

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Speaker 3: we want to sneak out. You want to meet Grandpa

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Speaker 3: and Grandma. We'll get ice cream. Yeah, but let's go

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Speaker 3: ahead and finish the story. She thinks me poisoning the

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Speaker 3: well is the whole problem. So that's probably got a

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Speaker 3: lot to do with her complaining at me. Specifically, My

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Speaker 3: dad did acknowledge that it was a mistake to tell

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Speaker 3: her that or tell her what was said. And while

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't go around talking bad about Laura now, I

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Speaker 3: don't feel bad about sharing my feelings with my family

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Speaker 3: at the time. I did ask my dad if Lucy

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Speaker 3: was going to be allowed to contact with the grandparents,

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Speaker 3: but Laura is still saying no. This is where your

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Speaker 3: dad needs to be like, that's not fair to Lucy.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this is where you give a phone to Lucy

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Speaker 3: and be like, text Grandma and Grandpa. I'll give him

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Speaker 3: a call, introduce yourself if you want. If you want,

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to force you, but if you are

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Speaker 3: really yearning for that, and I think you are, this

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Speaker 3: should be allowed. However, he said she's close to just

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Speaker 3: because of how much of a hard time Lucy's giving her,

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Speaker 3: so he's going to wait it out. Your dad sucks too.

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Speaker 5: Also, though I get one hundred percent see a thirteen

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Speaker 5: year old girl being able to wear down her mom.

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Speaker 4: Until she says yes.

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Speaker 5: So I feel like Lucy will probably hopefully get what

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Speaker 5: she wants.

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Speaker 1: I can see me soon.

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Speaker 2: I don't.

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Speaker 3: We don't have much contact in Lucy, but a thirteen

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Speaker 3: year old girl, That's what I'm saying, especially when she's

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Speaker 3: really want something and she's getting very upset getting all

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Speaker 3: this new stuff, she can break you down in a snap.

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Speaker 4: Lucy's gonna be meeting those grandparents.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, She's like, you're the reason I can't mean my grandparents.

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Speaker 3: You're the reason that nobody likes me. You're the reason.

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Speaker 5: I just hope that the grandparents will be super open

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Speaker 5: to meeting, like and they're willing to meet, but I

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Speaker 5: hope that they are super like arms open for Lucy.

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Speaker 4: They still do not have to be for Laura. But

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Speaker 4: Lucy is innocent in all of this.

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Speaker 5: Aunt celebrated my father's affair baby, so I called her out.

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Speaker 6: No celebration for this thing. Please.

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Speaker 5: My parents, Miguel sixty three and Elena fifty five, have

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Speaker 5: been married in the Catholic Church for decades. They are

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Speaker 5: still married in the eyes of the church because my

301
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:21,200
Speaker 5: father has never had the marriage annulled. That means, in

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Speaker 5: the church's view, my parents are still husband and wife.

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Speaker 5: But in September twenty twenty four, my dad started a

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Speaker 5: relationship with Laura forty five. The last affair lady was

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Speaker 5: also Laura.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 4: Guys, watch out for Laura's.

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Speaker 2: Laura's are not it today a woman.

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Speaker 4: Who at the time was married to someone else. By

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Speaker 4: the way, this comes from Zira solely.

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Speaker 5: Yes, yes, and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 5: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 7: Uh and I'm Carly, I'm Riley, and I'm Sophia.

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Speaker 5: And Opie says by July twenty twenty five, they already

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00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:07,560
Speaker 5: had a baby together. Laura is not the saint she

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00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:11,800
Speaker 5: has presented herself to be. She has around ten lawsuits

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00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:16,760
Speaker 5: against her, but still parades herself as extremely devout and moral.

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Speaker 5: My dad's side of the family, the Riveras, are very

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Speaker 5: Catholic and talk a lot about values, but when it

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Speaker 5: comes to Miguel and Laura, they've conveniently looked the other way.

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Speaker 5: My dad even tells people he's been alone for ten years,

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Speaker 5: despite living with me and my mom until late twenty

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Speaker 5: twenty four. Oh okay, so he didn't see them as

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Speaker 5: married for ten years.

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Speaker 6: I see now, I see.

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Speaker 5: I want to make it clear that I, twenty eight female,

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Speaker 5: have no relationship with Laura, as I cannot morally and emotionally,

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Speaker 5: I cannot.

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Speaker 4: Accept this for my entire life.

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Speaker 5: I've only been seeing my mom and dad together and

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Speaker 5: out of nowhere, my dad wanted.

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Speaker 4: Me to just accept his affair with a married woman.

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Speaker 5: I should also note that Laura and my dad met

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00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:10,720
Speaker 5: because Laura's husband was my dad's employee. I should also

335
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,399
Speaker 5: note that Laura came into this country as a tourist,

336
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,760
Speaker 5: got married to her now ex husband for a green card,

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00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,879
Speaker 5: and then saw my dad who was a citizen unlike

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00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 5: her resident ex husband and who had money, and decided

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00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,520
Speaker 5: to have an affair with him. She came into this

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00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,480
Speaker 5: country in twenty twenty three, got married to the guy

341
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,920
Speaker 5: in early twenty twenty four. I actually met her once

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00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,280
Speaker 5: when I went to church with my dad and saw

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00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:41,040
Speaker 5: that she was there with her husband. She said she

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00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,160
Speaker 5: wanted to get married via the Catholic church with him

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00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:50,520
Speaker 5: to not be in sin. No Ah, not being sin

346
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,879
Speaker 5: in that one. But she's like totally fine with like

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Speaker 5: a ton of other sins. We're just like slightly worried

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00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,760
Speaker 5: about this one anyway. This was in August of twenty

349
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Speaker 5: twenty four instead September. The affair started in October twenty

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Speaker 5: twenty four.

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Speaker 4: It was made public.

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Speaker 5: What in November twenty twenty four, my dad got an

353
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:12,520
Speaker 5: apartment with the woman, and in December twenty twenty four,

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Speaker 5: she was announced.

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Speaker 4: To be pregnant.

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Speaker 5: Given all of this, I had her investigated, which is

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Speaker 5: how I found out that she has ten lawsuits against

358
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:28,520
Speaker 5: her in her home country and has even had her

359
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,960
Speaker 5: car taken from her for not paying For a few

360
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:36,760
Speaker 5: years now, Miguel, my dad has been financially financially supporting

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00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:41,040
Speaker 5: much of the Rivera side, paying bills, giving cash, helping

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00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:44,880
Speaker 5: them out with favors. They've all benefited from his generosity,

363
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:49,280
Speaker 5: and now they've rallied behind him and Laura while pushing

364
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:53,560
Speaker 5: my mom and me aside. Completely flashed back to ten

365
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,119
Speaker 5: years ago. We did not have a lot of money

366
00:18:56,520 --> 00:19:01,040
Speaker 5: and so this family aka my dad's siblings didn't even

367
00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:04,760
Speaker 5: give us the time of day. Here's where the hypocrisy

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00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:12,120
Speaker 5: hits hard. The Rivera family has a long history of infidelity.

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00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:16,400
Speaker 2: Okay, now they're like, you're one of us, Now, come on,

370
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:17,359
Speaker 2: son of us.

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Speaker 6: Give him a big backpack and a burger and a beer.

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Speaker 5: They have never gone out of their way to publicly

373
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Speaker 5: celebrate the kids that came from those affairs. My aunt Rosa,

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00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:31,120
Speaker 5: the aunt in question, my dad's sister, lived through her

375
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,800
Speaker 5: ex husband cheating and having a child outside the marriage.

376
00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:38,959
Speaker 5: Rosa's daughter's ex husband also cheated and fathered a child.

377
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:43,400
Speaker 4: My uncle, my uncle Lewis, my dad's brother cheated on.

378
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:47,439
Speaker 5: His wife and had two children outside his marriage. My

379
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 5: grandpa also had cheated and had children outside of his marriage.

380
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,360
Speaker 5: He passed away a few years ago, but my grandma

381
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,439
Speaker 5: prides herself on saying that those children are not my

382
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:04,040
Speaker 5: grandpa's kids. Aunt Rosa's ex husband's kids are not biologically

383
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,919
Speaker 5: related to us. But if Rosa truly believed all children

384
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:12,680
Speaker 5: are blessings, she could have celebrated them. She didn't, which

385
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 5: is understandable because she was cheated on.

386
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,440
Speaker 2: So the guys are just going out here pumping out

387
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 2: kids and the women aren't about it, seems like.

388
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:24,919
Speaker 4: But they just stay.

389
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 2: They stay.

390
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,960
Speaker 5: This is interesting, but this child she posted about was

391
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 5: the product of my father's infidelity. Uncle Lewis's children are

392
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:40,000
Speaker 5: biologically part of the family, and yet no glowing Facebook tributes,

393
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:45,600
Speaker 5: no blessed family captions, no public celebration for them. In fact,

394
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:50,959
Speaker 5: the family ignores their existence. Why because Uncle Lewis doesn't

395
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,439
Speaker 5: have a lot of money to support everyone. Fast forward

396
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 5: to last week, Rosa posts a big Facebook album celebrating

397
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 5: Laura's baby turning one month old, Heart emoji's blessings, proud captions,

398
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:08,639
Speaker 5: et cetera. This was the first post ever publicly acknowledging

399
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 5: my dad's affair and.

400
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,680
Speaker 4: Thus his child.

401
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 5: I couldn't believe the hypocrisy. For one, Aunt Rosa was

402
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,160
Speaker 5: supposedly my mom's friend and sister in law.

403
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 4: My mother sent me the post.

404
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 5: She was sad and angry all over again, just like

405
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 5: she was in the first few months of my dad's affair.

406
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 5: To be fair, it hasn't even been a year since

407
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 5: he left my mom, and so since my aunt Rosa

408
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 5: made a public on Facebook for everyone to see, I commented, Uh, oh,

409
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:44,160
Speaker 5: Aunt Rosa, what about the children from your ex husband's infidelity?

410
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,679
Speaker 5: What about the children from your daughter's ex husband's infidelity?

411
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 4: Where are those kids? Kind of fire though, clap it

412
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:53,680
Speaker 4: out for people?

413
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 6: Oh so, I guess saw.

414
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 2: If you don't want to talk about it with me,

415
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,200
Speaker 2: let's talk about it here with every morn.

416
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, you want to make this public, Let's have a chat.

417
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 6: Why not.

418
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 5: My point wasn't that the children from affairs shouldn't be acknowledged.

419
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,640
Speaker 5: It's that this sudden public joy isn't about loving all

420
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:17,399
Speaker 5: children equally. It's about celebrating Miguel's my dad's infidelity while

421
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 5: conveniently ignoring every other similar situation in the family's history.

422
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,959
Speaker 5: Why because my dad has a lot of money and

423
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:30,680
Speaker 5: financially supports them all. Also, it's that she herself was

424
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,640
Speaker 5: cheated on but doesn't care when it was my mom

425
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 5: who was cheated on.

426
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 4: To post this, Cue the fallout.

427
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:43,120
Speaker 5: Oh gosh, my cousin Melanie dms me. She starts with

428
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 5: I know you're hurting and says blocking people might be

429
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 5: for the best, and then blindsides me by accusing me

430
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 5: of spreading a rumor that another cousin, Pedro.

431
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 4: Was the father of Laura's baby. This is one hundred

432
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:58,439
Speaker 4: percent false.

433
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 5: I told her I never said that, and that my

434
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 5: half sister Fabiola, who has lied about me before, likely

435
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,639
Speaker 5: made it up. This part is a bit messy, and

436
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 5: I can explain it here. Basically, Pedro twenty eight used

437
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,639
Speaker 5: to work with Laura and they'd travel for work and

438
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,960
Speaker 5: stay in the same room together to save money.

439
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:25,119
Speaker 6: Oh save money, Yeah.

440
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 4: Pedro himself told us this.

441
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 5: My half sister is eighteen years older than me and

442
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 5: is from another of my dad's affairs, except he didn't

443
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 5: cheat that time around. He was sixteen when he had

444
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 5: her with a servant at my grandmother's house who was

445
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 5: twenty four so pre marriage.

446
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 4: He how is that an affair?

447
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:45,640
Speaker 5: Oh?

448
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 7: No, okay, maybe she was married.

449
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 5: Probably Since then, Fabiola has been raised by my grandma

450
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:56,200
Speaker 5: as if she is her daughter. Back then, my father

451
00:23:56,280 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 5: didn't have a lot of money individually. Anyway, Pedro worked

452
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 5: with Laura and he would tell us how obsessed she

453
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 5: was with him. But I never said that Laura's baby

454
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,479
Speaker 5: was Pedro's. Never I did hear Fabuola say that Laura

455
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:12,679
Speaker 5: was obsessed with Pedro.

456
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 4: While I don't know if.

457
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,360
Speaker 5: The baby is my father's, I think it is the

458
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 5: woman's ex husband's baby, as no DNA test has been

459
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 5: done since my father is a proud man.

460
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 4: My dad also paid for Laura's divorce.

461
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 5: By the way, also Pedro was considered a friend of mine,

462
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 5: a friend of my husband's as well.

463
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 2: Tom Out paid for her divorce. But you can't pay

464
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 2: for your own You can't get your own.

465
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I forgot about that.

466
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 2: And then if you're in the States of America, isn't

467
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 2: it's legal.

468
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,679
Speaker 4: To be mar Yeah, you can't have too, No, I

469
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:49,159
Speaker 4: don't think so.

470
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,360
Speaker 6: You can have two girlfriends though, right.

471
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,040
Speaker 4: You can have a wife and a girlfriend.

472
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 6: You can't have two wives.

473
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, we are the same age and would go on

474
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 5: double dates with him in his wife. I would never

475
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 5: speak ill of my cousin Pedro, as he has been

476
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 5: nothing but sweet.

477
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:06,880
Speaker 4: That was the last straw.

478
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 5: I told my cousin that I have never and will

479
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 5: never say that about Pedro, and that it is surprising

480
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,679
Speaker 5: to me that she would believe that lie. But ultimately

481
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,919
Speaker 5: I realized that she won't change her mind because she

482
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 5: thinks I am on a war path for making the

483
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 5: first public comment I have ever made about my dad's infidelity,

484
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,400
Speaker 5: and I only made it because my aunt made the post.

485
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 5: I then decided to block everyone on my dad's side, cousins, aunts, uncles,

486
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 5: even my grandmother. My grandmother is also not innocent in this,

487
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 5: as she herself has said that she will never meet

488
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 5: my uncle Lewis's kids born out of wedlock, Yet because

489
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,439
Speaker 5: my dad financially supports her, she is all in with

490
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:52,679
Speaker 5: my dad's new baby.

491
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

492
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 5: I'm done with the gossip, favoritism, and rewriting of reality

493
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 5: to make make themselves comfortable. My mom has also blocked them.

494
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 6: Yeah.

495
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 7: A plus.

496
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 2: Only reason I would still stay around with this family

497
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 2: is if you want to make it soap opera.

498
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 6: You're gonna have endless material quality TV.

499
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 5: Other than that, no reason now the rivera family narrative

500
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 5: is that I'm bitter, angry, lashing out and hurting innocent people,

501
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 5: not that they've erased my mom and me while embracing

502
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:30,400
Speaker 5: Miguel's new life and ignoring their own past hypocrisy.

503
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 6: Is it her words hurting you or is that the truth?

504
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:35,120
Speaker 7: Yeah?

505
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 2: Is that the truth hurting you?

506
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 5: Some self reflection, This in particular hurts for me as

507
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 5: I have always been closer to my father. My mother

508
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 5: and I have never been as close as we are now,

509
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 5: but now it seems like it's my mom and I

510
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 5: against the world. My husband is also here, but understandably

511
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 5: he doesn't get involved, though he has also blocked my family.

512
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 5: He says that I I should have commented you are

513
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:05,199
Speaker 5: only posting about this baby because my dad financially supports you.

514
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,400
Speaker 5: As a slap to the face and hard truth right there,

515
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 5: my husband said either go big or go home. I, however,

516
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 5: did not comment that, as the first comment was made

517
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 5: as an impulse decision after my mom sent me the post.

518
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 4: We've got a little bit more, but any other thoughts adopt.

519
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 6: A new family.

520
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, find one that doesn't like to cheat.

521
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I don't know, figure out how to get

522
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 5: your mom a divorce.

523
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, she didn't deserve this.

524
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,920
Speaker 4: She doesn't need to be stuck with this man attached

525
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 4: to her.

526
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 2: She's a good divorce. Marry someone else, she has better benefits.

527
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 2: There we go, better insurance policies, better this.

528
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:49,679
Speaker 4: Better that pinder someone with the best benefits. Only go

529
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 4: off that.

530
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,360
Speaker 2: Why Mary, if you're gonna cheat, you know that's sort

531
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 2: of the life. Yes, I think the only extent that

532
00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 2: I've seen is grandpa dad son, not.

533
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,639
Speaker 4: You know, extended family to stand a.

534
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 6: Family, cousins, uncles, grandpa.

535
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 7: Always know that.

536
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 4: I've seen my dad's son.

537
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 2: And then their wives kind of accepting it. Never seen

538
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:12,640
Speaker 2: that aspect.

539
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,199
Speaker 4: Right and just fully being like, yeah, I get cheated on?

540
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 2: Why not?

541
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:17,360
Speaker 1: Crazy saw?

542
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 6: If you guys are better than my own kids.

543
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 5: They will probably always believe I said that false rumor

544
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 5: about Pedro no matter what I say. But I know

545
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 5: the truth and I'm done trying to prove it, and

546
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,160
Speaker 5: they will think I am the bad guy for not

547
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 5: saying what my dad wants to hear. I should note

548
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:37,879
Speaker 5: that I still have somewhat of a relationship with my dad,

549
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 5: but we only see each other sometimes and we never

550
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,719
Speaker 5: talk about his other family. It's the only way I

551
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 5: can have him in my life now, whereas before I was,

552
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 5: as they say, the apple of his eye. So am

553
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 5: I the a whole for publicly pointing out my aunt's

554
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 5: public selective celebration of my father's a fair baby on

555
00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 5: Facebook and then cutting off his entire side of the family.

556
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 4: That's the end of that. But no, not the a whole.

557
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 2: I do think there was a different way to go

558
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 2: about it. With how much resentment and anger you have,

559
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 2: and you're just willing to go no contact. I do

560
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 2: think you are the everyone's the a hole here?

561
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 7: You think everyone is.

562
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 2: I understand you're calling them out. I wouldn't personally do that.

563
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 2: You gotta be an a whole sometimes.

564
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 5: Just do you think that they would have talked to

565
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 5: her though, if she tried to go to them separately

566
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 5: when they were already ignoring her so much, or do

567
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 5: you think it had to still be like some public way.

568
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 2: I don't think they would have talked to her even

569
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 2: if she tried to, they definitely would ignore her.

570
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 5: So just don't do anything. Just cut them off and

571
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 5: cut your losses kind of thing.

572
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 6: Maybe you write a letter.

573
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't think the public kind of

574
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 2: vibe is a move at all.

575
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 4: I could see that.

576
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, Or it makes good TV, it makes good scenes,

577
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 2: and you're done. There's no consequence as to what you've

578
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 2: done because your consequence is cutting them off.

579
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 6: So that's fine. You already everyone here is not moving.

580
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:04,959
Speaker 6: I don't know.

581
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 2: I think if someone does something and you react to

582
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 2: certain way, there's just everyone's the a hole, but you're

583
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 2: the justified a hole.

584
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I could agree with that, A justified one.

585
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 2: Come after me, please, John here, we're gonna get back

586
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 2: to this juicy story, but a quick three minute break

587
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 2: of ads from our sponsors. My brother refuses to handle

588
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 2: simple tasks, so I told him off.

589
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 4: Sounds like a weaponizing commentance at it's finest.

590
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 2: And trigger warning for verbal abuse and physical altercation. So I,

591
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 2: twenty six female, honestly feel like I'm at my breaking

592
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 2: point and need some outside perspective because I'm either going

593
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 2: crazy or just finally waking up. Growing up, my brother

594
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 2: twenty four Mel was always the golden child. He got

595
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 2: to do everything I wasn't allowed to he had freedom, friends,

596
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 2: could go out, date, live like a normal teenager. Meanwhile,

597
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 2: I wasn't allowed to do any of that.

598
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 6: If I even.

599
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 2: Question it, I'd get the he's a boy, it's different.

600
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 4: I hate that.

601
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 2: That excuse was drilled into me for years, and I'm

602
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 2: still resentful of how much I missed out on it

603
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,479
Speaker 2: just because of that double standard. For context, we are

604
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 2: bulk and Muslims, and this is pretty common for US women.

605
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from do Astronomer thirty two.

606
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 2: And if you want to speak your own stories, what

607
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 2: are the our social okase stories. I'm subbrut it.

608
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 7: I'm Riley, I'm Carly, and I'm Sophia.

609
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 2: And op he says. Now, I'm married with a child

610
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 2: of my own. I live an hour away from my parents,

611
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 2: and while I don't mind helping them occasionally, I've got

612
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,479
Speaker 2: a household, a job, and a toddler to take care of. Lately,

613
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 2: they've been needing more help with bills, paperwork, appointments, organizing

614
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 2: their estate.

615
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 6: And guess who's been handling all of that?

616
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 3: I wonder who me?

617
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 2: Not the son who lives with them, rent free with

618
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 2: his girlfriend and has all the free.

619
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 6: Time in the world.

620
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

621
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 2: It became too much and I told my parents I

622
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 2: can't keep doing everything. They need to start asking their

623
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 2: son to step up. They weren't happy, but for about

624
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 2: a week things were quiet. I thought they were finally

625
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 2: listening and my brother finally grew up. This past weekend,

626
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 2: I went to visit and immediately saw a giant pile

627
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 2: of paperwork, unopened mail and bill scattered on the table.

628
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 2: I asked what's going on and why it was all

629
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 2: in touch. They told me they'd ask my brother to

630
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 2: take care of it, and he kept saying he'd get

631
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 2: to it. My parents asked me to do it, and

632
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 2: I said no, We're going to wait until he came home,

633
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,520
Speaker 2: and he was gonna do it, no more excuses. An

634
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:49,360
Speaker 2: hour later, he walks in, doesn't even greet me, just says,

635
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 2: have you done mom and Dad's paperwork yet?

636
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 7: Ah?

637
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 2: I looked at him and said, no, it's your job

638
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 2: now you live here, you handle it. He starts one

639
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 2: that I'm better at organizing. I know what gets paid

640
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 2: when I can translate things better, I know where everything goes.

641
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 5: Crazy that it'll say all of that on the paperwork,

642
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 5: pretty crazy?

643
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 7: How that works?

644
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 6: I yeah, I told him, I don't care.

645
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 2: I have my own life and family to take care of,

646
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 2: and it's not my responsibility to keep doing everything just

647
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 2: because no one ever taught him how to be an adult.

648
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 6: So this is a problem with parents.

649
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, I do feel like unfortunately I don't know much

650
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 5: about the culture, the culture that they were raised in,

651
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 5: but I think that tends to be a little bit

652
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 5: more common in Muslim practices, where women like don't have

653
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 5: those same freedoms.

654
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 4: God it like hold your son accountable.

655
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, he got mad and things escalated. He started yelling,

656
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 2: insulting me, and at one point picked up a binder

657
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 2: and threw it at me.

658
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 4: Oh, so he just sucks.

659
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 2: I just stared at him and waited for my parents

660
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 2: to say so something, to defend me, to check him

661
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 2: for throwing a binder at me. Instead, they looked at me,

662
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:09,240
Speaker 2: said it's my fault. I started it, and I should

663
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 2: have just shut up and done the paperwork like always.

664
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, parents' eyes not opened, not open.

665
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,799
Speaker 5: I tied something else over their eyes actually, so that

666
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 5: they really didn't have to see their mistake.

667
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 6: I snapped.

668
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 2: I started yelling at them, saying everything I've bottled up

669
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 2: for years. I told them all they raised a spoiled,

670
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:35,920
Speaker 2: lazy manchild who can't do a basic task, and he

671
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 2: will throw them into a nursing came the first chance

672
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,239
Speaker 2: he goots. I told them I was done being the

673
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 2: one who carries all the way while he gets to

674
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 2: live care free. I grabbed my things and told him

675
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 2: I couldn't stand this family anymore and I hated them all.

676
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 2: As I was walking out, said if I left him

677
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,399
Speaker 2: refused to help, they would have nothing.

678
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 6: To do with me.

679
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 2: I said, fine, it's actually better if they have nothing

680
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 2: to do with you. They can't keep asking to do

681
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 2: stuff for him.

682
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're out, run away.

683
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,880
Speaker 6: I left and haven't spoken to them since.

684
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 2: Now. They're blown on my phone, first asking for help.

685
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:14,359
Speaker 2: My brother's saying he doesn't know where the checkbooks are,

686
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,279
Speaker 2: how to write a check, who my parents' doctor insurance is,

687
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 2: et cetera. When they saw I wasn't responding, the text

688
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 2: got nasty. They began calling me selfish, heartless, and cruel.

689
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 2: My dad left the voice smell that broke my heart.

690
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 2: They've said horrible things to me. That was way too far.

691
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 2: They even dragged my aunt into it. Oh my god,

692
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 2: he's now telling me I will be ashamed and that

693
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 2: God will punish me.

694
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 5: I'm what so glad though that OPI clearly, despite being

695
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 5: raised in this environment, has such a good head on

696
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 5: her shoulders to be like, no, I don't deserve this.

697
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so hard to Yeah, your own family. At

698
00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 2: this point, I've gone completely no contact, but I can't lie.

699
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,680
Speaker 2: I feel guilty even though I know I was pushed

700
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 2: beyond my limit? Am I the a hole? We have

701
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 2: a little bit of a netted halfway through here.

702
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 4: Not the ale, not at all.

703
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 2: You're the ale for not showing your son how to

704
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,240
Speaker 2: write a check book?

705
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, your parents they And why do the parents not

706
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 5: know any of this stuff?

707
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 7: Either? Like why do the parents not know?

708
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 2: He's taking care of it?

709
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 5: But like at some point someone had to teach Op

710
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:33,280
Speaker 5: that or like yeah maybe not maybe Op, he's really

711
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,440
Speaker 5: been doing this just for her entire life.

712
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 2: It feels like some people's presence or some people's tools

713
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 2: can be the consequence of other people's actions whenever they

714
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 2: take it away, and you gotta be the hammer of

715
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 2: justice and you know, give them that consequential factor. Yeah,

716
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 2: because they're gonna keep relying on you and they're never

717
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 2: they're never gonna see those as a sad part, but.

718
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 5: You know the truth, and they might come around to

719
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,759
Speaker 5: be like, wow, she was doing a lot for us,

720
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 5: but they're probably still just gonna blame you for it.

721
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 2: So we have an edit. I again, just wanted to

722
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,879
Speaker 2: clear up a few things that came up. Someone said

723
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 2: I was iehle for not teaching my family how to

724
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 2: do anything. That's not true. I spent hours trying to

725
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 2: teach my parents how to access bills, online, sign checks,

726
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 2: et cetera. They always struggled to remember, which really just

727
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 2: means they didn't care to learn. I even really tried

728
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,320
Speaker 2: teaching my brother, but he always had plans or wasn't

729
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:34,359
Speaker 2: in the mood I tried. As for religion, please don't

730
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 2: confuse culture with Islam. My parents picked and chose what

731
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 2: Islamic values suited them, which is unfortunate, which is unfortunately

732
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 2: very common, especially in the Balkans. For example, I wasn't

733
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 2: allowed to date because I'd shame the family. I had

734
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 2: to marry a Balkan Muslim, but my brother dated whoever

735
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:56,720
Speaker 2: he wanted, including non Muslim women. Yet my brother's girlfriend

736
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 2: basically moved in day one and no.

737
00:37:59,160 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 6: One blinked in on.

738
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 2: I've been the translator and basically the family employee since

739
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 2: I was ten. I filled out every form, made every call,

740
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 2: done everything for my parents, and it just never stopped.

741
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 2: I blame myself for this, as I should have put

742
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:15,840
Speaker 2: my foot down years ago. My husband doesn't like my family,

743
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 2: and hey, it to my brother. That hatred really cemented

744
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,239
Speaker 2: when my water broke at thirty weeks and I was

745
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 2: in the hospital having a mental breakdown, thinking I failed

746
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:25,720
Speaker 2: my baby.

747
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 6: No, my lovely brother.

748
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:30,840
Speaker 2: My lovely brother showed up and told me that I

749
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:34,240
Speaker 2: must have done something stupid and broke my water myself.

750
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Oh my god.

751
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:42,920
Speaker 2: My husband dragged him out, and my brother wasn't allowed

752
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 2: back young right now, my husband only knows there was

753
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,760
Speaker 2: a screaming match and I decided to cut everyone off.

754
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,479
Speaker 2: He doesn't know the full story, because if he did,

755
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 2: I know exactly what he'd do. I know they'll probably

756
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 2: show up at some point. I'm mentally preparing for it.

757
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 2: I've mentioned wanting to move closer to my in laws,

758
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 2: and my husband is on board. He also talked to

759
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 2: me about starting therapy. Yes, and we're reading into it.

760
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 2: We were reading the messages and comments together and we

761
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:16,399
Speaker 2: both realized I was severely emotionally mistreated. Thank you all

762
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 2: for your kind words and support. It's just sad that

763
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:22,279
Speaker 2: internet strangers have shown me more kindness and love that

764
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 2: my own family has in years.

765
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 4: Hope, I want to give you a hug. God, Oh

766
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 4: my god, Oh my God.

767
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 5: Showing up to the hospital and saying something like that,

768
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 5: he deserved way more than being just kicked.

769
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,799
Speaker 6: Out kicking the gonads.

770
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 2: Yeah two, I forgot to mention I told my husband

771
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 2: what my brother did to me. As you can imagine,

772
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:47,280
Speaker 2: he is furious and wanted to head over there tonight,

773
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,919
Speaker 2: but I won't let him stoop to his level. I'm

774
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:53,800
Speaker 2: now worried about them showing up here and causing a commotion,

775
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 2: as they are the type of people to do that.

776
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:58,320
Speaker 6: And we got an update.

777
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 2: Oh ooh, ooh ooh. After I went no contact calls

778
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 2: didn't stop. My phone was blowing up constantly. Then my

779
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 2: dad decided to try and call my husband directly. He

780
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 2: acted like absolutely nothing happened, all cheerful and casual, as

781
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 2: if my brother hadn't just thrown a binder at me

782
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 2: over a week ago. I guess my dad thought my

783
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:21,879
Speaker 2: husband didn't know what had happened. My husband caught him

784
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,120
Speaker 2: off and told him he knows exactly what had happened,

785
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,840
Speaker 2: and if my brother ever bothers me again, or so

786
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,720
Speaker 2: much steps foot on our property, it won't be pretty.

787
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 2: Conversation ended very quickly after that. A few days later,

788
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,399
Speaker 2: my uncle and aunt decided to randomly drop by our

789
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 2: house on announced to talk things out. My husband went

790
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 2: outside before I even had a chance to react. He

791
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 2: absolutely chewed them out, telling them that if helping my

792
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 2: parents is so important to them, they should go do

793
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 2: it themselves instead of pestering us. They left pretty fast

794
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 2: after that. Dude, this husband the perfect person to have

795
00:40:58,520 --> 00:40:59,799
Speaker 2: behind your back right now.

796
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,960
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, he gets all the stars because he

797
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,399
Speaker 5: like swooped in. He was like, you will not talk

798
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 5: to my wife like that.

799
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, that doesn't happen a lot with these stories.

800
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:13,760
Speaker 2: Like it's nice whatever you say, mommy and Laddie.

801
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 7: Yeah.

802
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 2: An hour after they left, my parents showed up. My

803
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 2: husband did not allow them inside, but they stood at

804
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 2: my door yelling at me, saying how disappointed they were

805
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 2: and how it was disrespectful for talking about family issues

806
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 2: with my husband's her family.

807
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 5: She won.

808
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 2: They called me horrible names that I can't even repeat here.

809
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 2: Finally snapped and told them I want nothing to do

810
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,919
Speaker 2: with them anymore and this would be the last time

811
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 2: we speak. They kept going, but I refused participate any

812
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 2: longer and even and they eventually left after my husband

813
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:51,360
Speaker 2: threatened to call the police. When they left, I completely

814
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 2: broke down. Things my parents said were vile and cruel.

815
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 2: I didn't know what I did to deserve this treatment.

816
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 2: Sad truth is, my mother law has been a bit

817
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 2: better and more loving mother to me than my own

818
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 2: mom has ever been, and that hurts in a way

819
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 2: I can't even explain. This happened a few days ago,

820
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 2: and since then I've blocked my parents, my brother, my uncle,

821
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,760
Speaker 2: and my aunt. A few other family members have tried

822
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 2: reaching out, but the moment I see they're defending my parents,

823
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,840
Speaker 2: I block them too. I just can't deal with it anymore,

824
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 2: and I have my own family to worry about. We've

825
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 2: decided we'll be moving closer to my in malls this winter,

826
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 2: and no one will know except for a few close

827
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,359
Speaker 2: friends and family we can trust not to run back

828
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 2: to my parents. My first therapy session is scheduled for

829
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 2: this week as well.

830
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,959
Speaker 5: I see a lot of people saying cameras until you move,

831
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 5: which it is a really good idea.

832
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 2: I agree.

833
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 5: I wouldn't put it past someone who's already been known

834
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 5: to have outbursts to come back to your house and

835
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 5: have one.

836
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, because I mean call the police to next

837
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 2: time you show up.

838
00:42:58,120 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 6: Can you get a restraining order where you are?

839
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:03,479
Speaker 5: I definitely start reporting to make a case if you can,

840
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 5: because there's already been physical things against you.

841
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:11,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, report the brother, oh dude, and ops so many

842
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 2: like things she can do here to the parents that

843
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 2: she's not going to do. When I fully opened up

844
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:20,920
Speaker 2: to my husband and our close friends about my childhood,

845
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 2: the look on their faces made me sick. They explained

846
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,440
Speaker 2: to me that what I went through was not normal

847
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,120
Speaker 2: and that no parents should ever treat their child the

848
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:29,919
Speaker 2: way mine did.

849
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 6: I'm not doing well.

850
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:33,760
Speaker 2: At the moment, but I'm thankful I have my husband

851
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 2: and friends to support me. I really hope therapy will

852
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,279
Speaker 2: help me heal, but I know it will take a

853
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:42,240
Speaker 2: long time. Right now, it just feels like I'm floating

854
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:45,319
Speaker 2: in darkness. I can't comprehend why my parents hate me.

855
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,319
Speaker 2: So much. I did everything they ever wanted, even if

856
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 2: it compromised my own happiness. It still wasn't enough for them.

857
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 4: No, they just suck.

858
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:58,400
Speaker 2: It's them, not you at all.

859
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,240
Speaker 6: Shoo uugh, you'll.

860
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 4: Learn that in therapy.

861
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 2: Ah.

862
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:06,960
Speaker 7: My boyfriend manipulated me and made me look bad, like

863
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 7: in like photoshop or real life. I'm hoping to get

864
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:14,319
Speaker 7: some much needed insight. I twenty five female, have been

865
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,879
Speaker 7: in a relationship with my boyfriend twenty seven mail for

866
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 7: four years. Our relationship has been very good for the

867
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 7: most part. Some fights here and there, but nothing worth

868
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 7: noting until a week ago.

869
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:28,840
Speaker 1: All Right, I'm feeling like it's real life not photoshap.

870
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,880
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from Throwaway, oh dearest, and

871
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 7: if you want to spit your own stories, go to

872
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 7: the r slash. Okay, storytime separated. So I got a

873
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 7: call from my brother telling me my mom had passed

874
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 7: away last Friday.

875
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 1: God.

876
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 7: Growing up, I was never super close with her. We

877
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 7: were usually fighting, but over the last five years our

878
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 7: relationship improved tremendously. We text throughout the week, and every

879
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,320
Speaker 7: Sunday I would go on four to five hour drives

880
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:58,240
Speaker 7: with her on speaker to keep me company, talking about

881
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 7: anything and everything under the sun. She became my best friend.

882
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 7: For context, my boyfriend knows how close we had gotten

883
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 7: and had even joined me for some of the drives.

884
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 7: Now here's the problem. My boyfriend has a fairly close

885
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 7: group of friends that he keeps up with, usually gaming

886
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:16,680
Speaker 7: with them throughout the week. Then once a month him

887
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 7: and his friends will hang out and drink. He let

888
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 7: me know a few days prior that he would be

889
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:24,240
Speaker 7: hanging out with them that Friday. When I got the news,

890
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 7: I immediately called him, breaking down and telling him I

891
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 7: didn't know what to do, and then I knew I

892
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 7: needed to be with him tonight. He went from consoling

893
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 7: me to saying, ooh, I let you know a few

894
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 7: days ago. I have plans with my friends. I only

895
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 7: get to see them once a month. My mom only

896
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 7: dies once in my life.

897
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 1: You got a good point.

898
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:52,400
Speaker 7: That's crazy. I'm sorry. If anyone ever said that to me.

899
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:54,840
Speaker 7: If I said I need you here for me my

900
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 7: mom just passed and they said, can't make it. I

901
00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:01,919
Speaker 7: got plans with the homies, I'd say, well, we actually

902
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 7: don't have a girlfriend anymore. So perfect I told him

903
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:09,280
Speaker 7: I understood, but I really needed him, and I'm sure

904
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 7: they would reschedule, to which he said they definitely wouldn't

905
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 7: be able to as they all have their own responsibilities.

906
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 7: After some more time going back and forth, I gave

907
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:19,919
Speaker 7: in and said I would be okay with him going

908
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 7: as long as he left early. Since he leaves at

909
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 7: seven pm, I said I would like for him to

910
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 7: come back by eleven.

911
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:25,800
Speaker 2: He agreed.

912
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 7: I spent the night going through text with her photos

913
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:32,760
Speaker 7: everything I could. I tried to distract myself with other things,

914
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:36,319
Speaker 7: but nothing worked. Eventually, ten pm rolls around and I

915
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 7: text my boyfriend, will you be leaving in an hour,

916
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,959
Speaker 7: to which he responds, you told me twelve, so I'll

917
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:44,440
Speaker 7: be leaving then, and now he's lying.

918
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 1: I was trying to gash like you. That's crazy, I

919
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 1: told him.

920
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 7: I said eleven, and I was standing by that. He

921
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 7: didn't respond after and came home at twelve. I asked

922
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 7: him why he didn't reply and why didn't just come

923
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 7: back an hour earlier. He immediately got upset with me,

924
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 7: telling me I was being selfish for ruining his night

925
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 7: with his friends. Him spending an extra hour there means

926
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 7: nothing since he still left early, and I'd be fine

927
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 7: since I didn't spend my childhood with her anyways. Are

928
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:16,400
Speaker 7: you dating the devil from the Bible?

929
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 1: A biblically accurate devil is your boyfriend?

930
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,879
Speaker 7: How did you wrangle that? I told him I didn't

931
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:25,879
Speaker 7: even want him to go out with them that day

932
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 7: to begin with, since I had just gotten the news,

933
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:31,879
Speaker 7: but I agreed to it under that specific condition, and

934
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 7: so had he. He could also just catch up with

935
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 7: his friends when they game during the week. The fight

936
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,240
Speaker 7: ended with him telling me I was again being selfish

937
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 7: as he doesn't get to see them in person often

938
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,839
Speaker 7: she will never get to see her mother again, and

939
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 7: you couldn't be there, and that I shouldn't expect him

940
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 7: to drop everything for me. We've been fairly cold to

941
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 7: each other since, which has left me overthinking and reevaluating

942
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:59,400
Speaker 7: our relationship. On one hand, I'm extremely heartbroken he wasn't

943
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 7: there for me, and no, that's not something I want

944
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 7: for my future. On the other end, his words have

945
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 7: definitely gotten to me, and I feel bad for separating

946
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 7: him from his friends. I also know it would break

947
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:14,120
Speaker 7: me more to lose someone else so close to me.

948
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 7: Where do I go from here? Out the door common

949
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:20,439
Speaker 7: one if my mother passed away and my partner didn't

950
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 7: come home from being with his friends, that would be

951
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 7: it for me. He's trying to tell you what he

952
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:27,320
Speaker 7: didn't do was bad because he told you it was happening.

953
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 7: You weren't close with her in childhood, and uh, he's

954
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:34,960
Speaker 7: genuinely trying to make it your problem. You're grieving and

955
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,520
Speaker 7: your boyfriend of four years doesn't think it's a big deal.

956
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 7: Create a plan and end this relationship. Reply, he is

957
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:47,839
Speaker 7: totally darvoing her op. Darvo is shorthand for classic abuser responses.

958
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:52,440
Speaker 7: It stands for deny, attack, reverse, victim, and offender. Your

959
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,280
Speaker 7: boyfriend did all of them. He denied that he agreed

960
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 7: to come home at eleven, He attacked you for asking

961
00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:01,400
Speaker 7: him for emotional support, and then made himself the victim

962
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 7: of your demands instead of letting you be the child

963
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 7: who just lost her mother and needed emotional support. Oh pee,

964
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 7: get out.

965
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:08,839
Speaker 5: Now.

966
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 7: This is a man who will always choose his needs

967
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:15,760
Speaker 7: over yours. And there is an update, folks, But yeah,

968
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:19,400
Speaker 7: I get out. I agree. I agree if your partner

969
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 7: can't be there for you, like honestly, even if this

970
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 7: was a friend, like you know, a friend that you've

971
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 7: known for a year, I would still be like, I'm

972
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,400
Speaker 7: so sorry, Like I'll be there for you if this

973
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:32,520
Speaker 7: is something you care about.

974
00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 2: I don't.

975
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 7: There's no time you know, there's no time requirement for

976
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 7: how long you have to know someone to be emotionally

977
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:40,239
Speaker 7: affected by it.

978
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

979
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 7: So I think the him saying oh, well, you didn't

980
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 7: have her in childhood is ridiculous. Update though, a little

981
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 7: while after posting, one of my boyfriend's friends reached out

982
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:52,719
Speaker 7: to me. He asked me if I had posted it,

983
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 7: because if I did, he had something to tell me.

984
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 7: And I was wondering when the title would come in

985
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:02,640
Speaker 7: because I'm wondering what he told his friends. Yeah, I

986
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 7: said yes, and he told me. Before my boyfriend left

987
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 7: their boys' night, he had started complaining about me to

988
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:12,880
Speaker 7: everyone there, telling them I was being a psycho and

989
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 7: forcing him to leave.

990
00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 6: Wow.

991
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,480
Speaker 7: Wow, don't worry, You're not going to be forced to

992
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 7: do anything comelong. He completely lied about my relationship with

993
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 7: my mom and told him I wasn't close with her

994
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 7: at all, rarely talk to her. Anytime I mentioned her,

995
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 7: I did nothing but crap talker, and that I was

996
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:34,360
Speaker 7: using her passing as a way to control him. Honestly,

997
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:37,400
Speaker 7: I could see through that if I had I mean, like,

998
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:39,719
Speaker 7: I don't really trust these friends, because if I had

999
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:42,360
Speaker 7: a friend who's like, yeah, my partner is the worst,

1000
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 7: she's controlling me. Uh and like she's using the passing

1001
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,799
Speaker 7: of her parent, who she's not even closed. But I'd

1002
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 7: be like, huh, that doesn't sound right.

1003
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 1: You can still be emotionally like messed up about that.

1004
00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 1: In fact, I think that's probably be one of the

1005
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 1: most common ways to be emotionally messed up is y,

1006
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:05,239
Speaker 1: it's like I did my God, my parent that I

1007
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:08,640
Speaker 1: never got close with is gone now Well, now I

1008
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 1: never had a chance. Yeah.

1009
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 7: Absolutely. I also learned throughout our entire relationship he'd tell

1010
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 7: his friends about every fight of ours, and again would

1011
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 7: completely lie about everything that happened in them. Why. If

1012
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 7: I was those friends, I'd be like, why are you

1013
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 7: with her? For context, Yeah, I am not close with

1014
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 7: any of his friends, and he had apparently told him

1015
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:34,359
Speaker 7: I was faking my personality whenever I interacted with them

1016
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 7: and crap talked them when they weren't around as well, ironic,

1017
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:41,680
Speaker 7: So I don't necessarily blame them for believing it. The

1018
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 7: only reason why his friend reached out was because my

1019
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:47,719
Speaker 7: boyfriend had done the same thing in past relationships and

1020
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 7: he was starting to get suspicious and tired of it.

1021
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 7: I confronted my boyfriend about it afterwards, and he denied

1022
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:57,880
Speaker 7: everything for a while before ultimately admitting to all of it.

1023
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,239
Speaker 7: He started crying, saying he'd doesn't know why he's like this,

1024
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 7: but that he loves me, can't live without me, anything

1025
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:07,480
Speaker 7: and everything you can think of. I packed whatever I

1026
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 7: could and told him I needed time to think. I'd

1027
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 7: be staying with my brother in the meantime, as I

1028
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:14,240
Speaker 7: had to drive out to go to my mom's funeral

1029
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,840
Speaker 7: and go through her things. So for the few that

1030
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:19,719
Speaker 7: asked if I had another support system, my family lives

1031
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 7: a few stats away, as my boyfriend and I started

1032
00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 7: out long distance and I moved away from them a

1033
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:28,520
Speaker 7: couple of years ago. For him, ooh, the few new

1034
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:31,439
Speaker 7: friends I made are away traveling for the summer, which

1035
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:34,560
Speaker 7: I couldn't join in on for numerous reasons. I also

1036
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:36,560
Speaker 7: couldn't get out of bed for the majority of the week,

1037
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:39,279
Speaker 7: so I didn't leave sooner. What he didn't know at

1038
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:41,400
Speaker 7: the time was that I didn't need time to think,

1039
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 7: and I had already decided I would not be coming back.

1040
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:47,480
Speaker 7: As I said in my original post, there was nothing

1041
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:51,360
Speaker 7: awful worth noting about him during our relationship. He didn't

1042
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 7: treat me exceptionally well, but not terrible either.

1043
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 1: That's like a horrifically bad description of a partner.

1044
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's nothing awful. He didn't treat me great, but

1045
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:04,760
Speaker 7: it wasn't terrible.

1046
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:07,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, it treated me like a coworker whose birthday you

1047
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 1: always forget.

1048
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:11,760
Speaker 7: So prior to his friend reaching out, I genuinely didn't

1049
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:14,040
Speaker 7: know what to think of the situation. To me, it

1050
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 7: was out of character for him. My main thought was

1051
00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 7: the news of her passing might have hurt him a

1052
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:21,360
Speaker 7: lot as well, and he didn't know how to handle it. No,

1053
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:25,040
Speaker 7: that was the wrong thought. But I now know that

1054
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:28,319
Speaker 7: he was an entirely different person with his friends, and

1055
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 7: what was out of character for me was completely in

1056
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:31,919
Speaker 7: character for them.

1057
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:35,240
Speaker 1: I mean, it's only up from here, I would hope.

1058
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 5: M M.

1059
00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:40,719
Speaker 1: I think you need to not, you know, keep an

1060
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:43,479
Speaker 1: eye out, have a relationship with someone where you could

1061
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 1: describe them as just like a stranger who you see

1062
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:48,160
Speaker 1: on your walk to work every day.

1063
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:50,880
Speaker 7: It definitely scares me to think of what would have

1064
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:54,120
Speaker 7: happened if I didn't post and never learned the things

1065
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:56,560
Speaker 7: he was saying when I wasn't around. I also have

1066
00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:59,680
Speaker 7: no clue what I do if another life changing event

1067
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:02,600
Speaker 7: tap and he put something else above being there for me.

1068
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:05,759
Speaker 7: So to everyone that wanted an update, just know I

1069
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 7: have completely removed him from my life.

1070
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:10,280
Speaker 1: Yay Bizah.

1071
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:14,239
Speaker 7: No amount of tears and fake apologies would convince me otherwise.

1072
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 7: He wasn't there when I needed him, and that's enough.

1073
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:20,279
Speaker 7: But the lying and fake stories he'd share on top

1074
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:23,040
Speaker 7: of that is terrifying. I know my mom would rip

1075
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:24,799
Speaker 7: me a new one if she heard all this and

1076
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:27,680
Speaker 7: I did anything other than leave him. Oh well, I

1077
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:30,279
Speaker 7: will always be grateful for this little corner of the

1078
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:34,800
Speaker 7: internet and the awful future it saved me from. And folks,

1079
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:37,880
Speaker 7: that's the end of that story. I mean, in a

1080
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 7: very sad way, your mom saved you.

1081
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 1: Wow, in a way.

1082
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:45,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a very poetic way.

1083
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, It's like you had this moment where you lost

1084
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 7: someone very important and she was like, you know what,

1085
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:51,880
Speaker 7: I'm gonna give you a little favor essay on my

1086
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:52,239
Speaker 7: way out.

1087
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 3: We're gonna start you a big new chapter. Yeah, start

1088
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:56,400
Speaker 3: offs from scratch.

1089
00:54:56,480 --> 00:54:58,239
Speaker 7: Yeah, but you're gonna do a lot better. Find the

1090
00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:01,200
Speaker 7: people in your life who want to provides you support

1091
00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:04,280
Speaker 7: when you need it. And that person is clearly.

1092
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 1: Not your ex boysfriend, clearly not. Life works in mysterious ways. Hey,

1093
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:10,640
Speaker 1: it's sam og host. We're get it back to these

1094
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:13,200
Speaker 1: delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from our

1095
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 1: sponsors to help support the show. My friend stood me

1096
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:18,680
Speaker 1: up and now everything's crazy.

1097
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:20,920
Speaker 7: Why did you do that?

1098
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 1: And I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, and I'm Keon And let's

1099
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:30,400
Speaker 1: see what this op has to say. So what did

1100
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:33,400
Speaker 1: my friend twenty four female lie to me twenty nine

1101
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 1: mail about her health? Two months ago? I told her

1102
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:38,360
Speaker 1: that I liked her, and she didn't know if she

1103
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:41,040
Speaker 1: wanted a relationship with me, but she was willing to try.

1104
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:43,959
Speaker 1: So we did just that, or at least I did.

1105
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:46,640
Speaker 1: I tried really hard.

1106
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 7: Okay, Wow, you're coming off desperate.

1107
00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:54,360
Speaker 1: I planned dates, dinners and talked with her for hours

1108
00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:57,960
Speaker 1: about what she would like to do, about her preferences, everything,

1109
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:01,960
Speaker 1: but I got nowhere, turned down every date I planned,

1110
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 1: and began canceling plans we had made together, even plans

1111
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,960
Speaker 1: she came up with on her own. This comes from

1112
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:10,800
Speaker 1: user her friends won't see and if you want to

1113
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:12,800
Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the RT slash showcase

1114
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:15,080
Speaker 1: story time to subred it. So I tried to break

1115
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 1: it off. Clearly she wasn't into this right well, No,

1116
00:56:19,440 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 1: each time I suggested we just be friends, she asked,

1117
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 1: even begged once for more time or another chance. This

1118
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:33,279
Speaker 1: continued for more than two months until yesterday. I was

1119
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:36,360
Speaker 1: stood up yesterday actually for the third time. And to

1120
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:38,400
Speaker 1: be honest, that was pissed off.

1121
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:40,160
Speaker 3: That's strike three year out.

1122
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:43,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it is so op ended it. I tried

1123
00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:45,600
Speaker 1: to call her, but she wouldn't answer, so I ended

1124
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:47,719
Speaker 1: it over text, which is the first time I ever

1125
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 1: did that. And it felt bad breaking up overtext, at

1126
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:53,080
Speaker 1: least to me. I thought that would be the end

1127
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:56,160
Speaker 1: of it, but I was wrong. She texted back with

1128
00:56:56,400 --> 00:57:00,359
Speaker 1: every excuse. She said she was busy, her steam file

1129
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:03,880
Speaker 1: indicated otherwise. She says she's a pro gamer, and I

1130
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:06,439
Speaker 1: sent her a screenshot showing her play history for the day,

1131
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:09,360
Speaker 1: and then she told me she overslept. I didn't respond.

1132
00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:11,520
Speaker 1: Then she said she was sorry and that she would

1133
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 1: make it up to me and that she would never

1134
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:15,960
Speaker 1: do it again, and each time I just didn't respond.

1135
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 1: Eleven PM I heard a knock at the door and

1136
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 1: it was her. I planned on telling her off, but

1137
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 1: I didn't. I just stared at her, frozen like a

1138
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:28,640
Speaker 1: deer in headlights. This person standing at my doorway wasn't

1139
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:32,920
Speaker 1: the woman I knew. She was braced against the doorframe,

1140
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 1: trembling parts of her bodies.

1141
00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:40,200
Speaker 7: She's Lily, She's Lily rose Deep.

1142
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 1: She's so you're her nose feratu.

1143
00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:44,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, wait, you're nose farratu.

1144
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:49,240
Speaker 1: This whole time, she couldn't speak, but instead made strained

1145
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:50,480
Speaker 1: incoherent noises.

1146
00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 7: Dude, this is literally no s fatu.

1147
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:56,200
Speaker 1: I can't stress this enough. We've been friends for a

1148
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:59,280
Speaker 1: long time. I know her, and this isn't how she

1149
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 1: acts when she upset. She would never throw a tantrum,

1150
00:58:02,600 --> 00:58:06,160
Speaker 1: even during a breakup. I took her inside my apartment

1151
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:08,960
Speaker 1: and sat her down on my futon. I thought she

1152
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:11,800
Speaker 1: was just hysterical and that calming her down might help,

1153
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:15,440
Speaker 1: but it didn't. Things just got worse. For the first

1154
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 1: few seconds, I thought she was having a fit, but

1155
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:22,320
Speaker 1: it became clear this was involuntary extremely quickly. She had

1156
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 1: a seizure in my apartment. This is now hospital time.

1157
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, this is I call the doctor.

1158
00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:32,840
Speaker 1: It felt like it lasted for an eternity, but it

1159
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 1: was really just a minute or two. I lost my

1160
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:38,200
Speaker 1: cool when I saw blood coming out of her mouth.

1161
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 1: She had bit herself, but thay belie, she was able

1162
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 1: to pull herself together and talk to me. She suffers

1163
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:47,960
Speaker 1: from epileptic seizures, specifically nocturnal seizures. The fatigue and weakness

1164
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:51,240
Speaker 1: starts between four thirty and six. By eight pm, speech

1165
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:53,920
Speaker 1: becomes difficult and spasms start no later than nine thirty.

1166
00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:56,280
Speaker 1: S Users only happen on bad nights and run from

1167
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 1: ten pm to five am, and she was having a

1168
00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:01,919
Speaker 1: very bad night. She drove to your place.

1169
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 7: Like wow, I would take her immediately to the hospital

1170
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:04,960
Speaker 7: post pit.

1171
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:09,080
Speaker 1: So, while my friends were partying on Saint Patrick's Day,

1172
00:59:09,080 --> 00:59:12,280
Speaker 1: I sent around my apartment communicating quote unquote with my

1173
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:15,880
Speaker 1: friend who was sitting right beside me. Speech difficulties had

1174
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:19,200
Speaker 1: already started, and learned about her condition and trying to

1175
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:20,880
Speaker 1: make her comfortable. Oh so you didn't know?

1176
00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:25,720
Speaker 7: Oh wait, is this why she's always late and like

1177
00:59:25,760 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 7: can't come to things?

1178
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:29,920
Speaker 1: Could be maybe this changes a lot.

1179
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:32,960
Speaker 7: Maybe this is like, this is the secret that she's

1180
00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:33,560
Speaker 7: been keeping.

1181
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, could be.

1182
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:36,760
Speaker 7: I mean like, still, it doesn't mean that you have

1183
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:38,200
Speaker 7: to date her because she lied to.

1184
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:43,400
Speaker 1: You, but uh okay does add layers. Everything is getting crazy.

1185
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:46,840
Speaker 1: She told me everything about how embarrassed she is about

1186
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:49,600
Speaker 1: all this, about how she hated standing me up over

1187
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:53,040
Speaker 1: sleeping and extreme fatigue, and how difficult it is for her.

1188
00:59:53,280 --> 00:59:55,600
Speaker 1: What got to me most was when she explained that

1189
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 1: there were times when she couldn't make it and stood

1190
00:59:57,440 --> 01:00:00,160
Speaker 1: me up because she can't call me no voice and

1191
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 1: can't text me with no fine motor skills. She structured

1192
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:06,760
Speaker 1: her entire life around this. She's the ultimate morning person

1193
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:10,840
Speaker 1: because she breaks down most nights and can barely function. Okay,

1194
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:13,760
Speaker 1: I never thought about it before, but it all makes

1195
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:16,240
Speaker 1: sense now. Out of all my friends, she was always

1196
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:19,080
Speaker 1: the responsible one, never stayed out late, never did any

1197
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:23,040
Speaker 1: substances or drank, wakes up every day at five point

1198
01:00:23,040 --> 01:00:25,440
Speaker 1: thirty and usually has all her chores in studying done

1199
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:28,240
Speaker 1: before the most people even leave for work. This also

1200
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:30,840
Speaker 1: explains her love life, or rather the lack of one,

1201
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:34,920
Speaker 1: dating as difficult, and she's lost people before due to this. Condition.

1202
01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:38,040
Speaker 1: That's why she didn't tell me. Her social life was

1203
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:40,439
Speaker 1: destroyed when she was diagnosed in high school, and she's

1204
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 1: kept her epilepsy hidden ever since. She stayed the night

1205
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:46,280
Speaker 1: at my place. I'm at work now and she's alone

1206
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 1: in my place, sleeping off the seizures. Turns out she

1207
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 1: has extreme fatigue after one of her bad nights. I

1208
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:55,240
Speaker 1: guess I do too now. I didn't want to leave her,

1209
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:57,760
Speaker 1: but her seizures don't occur during the day. She has

1210
01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:01,120
Speaker 1: a pile of pillows, blankets, snacks, and video games, so

1211
01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:03,240
Speaker 1: I think she'll be fine, at least until I get home.

1212
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:05,880
Speaker 1: I'm glad that she was honest with me, though I

1213
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:08,360
Speaker 1: wish it hadn't taken a medical emergency to get there.

1214
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 1: The situation has given me a lot to think about,

1215
01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:13,840
Speaker 1: both about her condition and how we can navigate this

1216
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:17,520
Speaker 1: going forward. The misunderstanding about her behavior makes more sense now,

1217
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 1: and I can see why she felt trapped between wanting

1218
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:23,040
Speaker 1: a social life and managing her health. Our friends know

1219
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:26,640
Speaker 1: she spent the night. Location sharing keeps everyone safe while

1220
01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:29,080
Speaker 1: pub hopping, and also tells your friends who's crashing at

1221
01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 1: your place, and they're sending us both the congrats on

1222
01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:35,880
Speaker 1: getting the laid texts ugh to make matters worse. I'm

1223
01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 1: not sure what to tell them. I think you should

1224
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:41,360
Speaker 1: just be honest with your friends about having epilepsy, and

1225
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 1: if you can't and they don't like you, then they're

1226
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 1: not your friends. And that's okay.

1227
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:48,880
Speaker 7: Yeah, they absolutely should know, just for your safety.

1228
01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, in case if that happens.

1229
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:53,840
Speaker 7: And Andrew, Yeah, I understand that she's had like bad experiences,

1230
01:01:53,840 --> 01:01:58,200
Speaker 7: but like effectively, nothing is changing for them because you

1231
01:01:58,280 --> 01:02:01,160
Speaker 7: are already you know, oh, not going out at night.

1232
01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:03,200
Speaker 7: So it's not like they are gonna have to do

1233
01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:07,600
Speaker 7: really much differently. They're just gonna, you know, no relevant

1234
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:11,520
Speaker 7: medical history about you. Yeah, just in case they need

1235
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:12,120
Speaker 7: to help you.

1236
01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:15,440
Speaker 1: So being unsure what to tell them is just a

1237
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:18,560
Speaker 1: minor problem. Looking back, I understand why she kept this hidden.

1238
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:21,680
Speaker 1: Dating is difficult with her condition, and she's lost people

1239
01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:24,760
Speaker 1: before because of it. Still, there is the concerning fact

1240
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:27,240
Speaker 1: that she drove when her license clearly states she can't

1241
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:31,120
Speaker 1: drive after seven pm on Saint Patrick's Day. She took

1242
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:34,440
Speaker 1: a significant risk driving during her vulnerable hours in holiday traffic,

1243
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:37,160
Speaker 1: which could have been dangerous for everyone involved. So I

1244
01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:39,959
Speaker 1: don't know what to do. I'll see that she gets home.

1245
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:42,560
Speaker 1: I'm driving and I'll figure it out from there. I'm

1246
01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:45,120
Speaker 1: posting this on a throwaway so her friends don't see it.

1247
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 1: She knows I wrote this, and I'll send her a link.

1248
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 1: Feel free to leave a comment for me, her or

1249
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:51,480
Speaker 1: both of us.

1250
01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:53,880
Speaker 7: That's kind of crazy to be like, this is exactly

1251
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:56,920
Speaker 7: how I feel. We're gonna see what the people say,

1252
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:58,360
Speaker 7: and she's also gonna read it.

1253
01:02:58,880 --> 01:02:59,800
Speaker 1: I guess that's good.

1254
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:00,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.

1255
01:03:00,480 --> 01:03:01,200
Speaker 7: I guess it's good.

1256
01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:04,840
Speaker 1: And there is an update, yeah, with the friend's point

1257
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:11,880
Speaker 1: of view. Ooh, so wow this blew up. So to

1258
01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:14,040
Speaker 1: clear up any confusion, I am the best friend slash

1259
01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:17,920
Speaker 1: maybe girlfriend. OPI wrote about this post was actually my idea.

1260
01:03:18,440 --> 01:03:20,640
Speaker 1: I suggested writing one as a joke the other night.

1261
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:22,920
Speaker 1: I never thought he would do it, but here we are.

1262
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:25,640
Speaker 1: So I want to address a few things in the comments.

1263
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:27,360
Speaker 1: Ope isn't a bad person.

1264
01:03:27,960 --> 01:03:28,800
Speaker 7: I didn't think he was.

1265
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:30,200
Speaker 1: Did not come off that way.

1266
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:31,880
Speaker 7: Never never thought that.

1267
01:03:32,840 --> 01:03:35,120
Speaker 1: Uh. He left out a lot of details in the

1268
01:03:35,160 --> 01:03:38,480
Speaker 1: original post, sparing me from humiliation or something. A lot

1269
01:03:38,560 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 1: of the comments called Op a manchild or something to

1270
01:03:41,240 --> 01:03:41,720
Speaker 1: that effect.

1271
01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:44,480
Speaker 7: What No, I didn't get that at all.

1272
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:50,040
Speaker 1: Manchild, that's crazy. Uh No, he's not a man child.

1273
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:52,520
Speaker 1: He stayed up all night helping me out, cleaning up

1274
01:03:52,600 --> 01:03:55,600
Speaker 1: after me, and just talking with me. I've seen man

1275
01:03:55,680 --> 01:03:58,560
Speaker 1: children before, and they don't do that. OPI is also

1276
01:03:58,600 --> 01:04:01,240
Speaker 1: honest about his feelings, even this is the ugly ones.

1277
01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:04,000
Speaker 1: I don't know if you can relate to having chronic illness,

1278
01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:05,960
Speaker 1: but when you do, people treat you like you're made

1279
01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:09,560
Speaker 1: of glass, and it feels awful. OPI might not always

1280
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:12,040
Speaker 1: be the nicest, but he's never fake with me. He

1281
01:04:12,080 --> 01:04:14,680
Speaker 1: treats me no different than any other crazy girl, and

1282
01:04:14,760 --> 01:04:18,520
Speaker 1: I love it. I only talk about my epilepsy on

1283
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:19,920
Speaker 1: a need to know basis.

1284
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:22,480
Speaker 7: I feel like your friends need to know a little

1285
01:04:22,560 --> 01:04:24,160
Speaker 7: like anything true.

1286
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:26,680
Speaker 1: Your friends need to know you have a history of

1287
01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:30,480
Speaker 1: epilepsy or seizures. Only talk about my epilepsy on a

1288
01:04:30,600 --> 01:04:33,320
Speaker 1: need to know basis. I'm not ashamed of it. That

1289
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:36,160
Speaker 1: was speculation on Ope's part. I just didn't feel that

1290
01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:38,920
Speaker 1: op needed to know. Clearly. I was wrong.

1291
01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:42,360
Speaker 7: Yeah, I I It might not be like a shame

1292
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:44,800
Speaker 7: like you know, you might not be ashamed of it,

1293
01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:49,240
Speaker 7: but like clearly, there are some sort of unresolved feelings,

1294
01:04:49,280 --> 01:04:53,240
Speaker 7: because why would the person that you're dating not need

1295
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:54,120
Speaker 7: to know that?

1296
01:04:54,880 --> 01:04:58,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't have seizures every night or most nights really,

1297
01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:00,960
Speaker 1: although weakness, dizziness, and mild life loss of coordination and

1298
01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:03,880
Speaker 1: slurred speech are common. Showing up at his door was

1299
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:07,240
Speaker 1: not a romantic gesture, I will explain. So I didn't

1300
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:09,440
Speaker 1: show up at Op's door to reveal my deepest, darkest

1301
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:12,240
Speaker 1: secret to him at my most vulnerable time. I'm cracking

1302
01:05:12,360 --> 01:05:15,120
Speaker 1: up just thinking about it. The TLDR would be that

1303
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:17,120
Speaker 1: I thought I could get away with being out laid

1304
01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:19,360
Speaker 1: a bit and bit off more than I could chew.

1305
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:21,960
Speaker 1: So seven pm, Saint Patrick's Day, I'm supposed to meet

1306
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 1: OP and some friends. Around four thirty. I'm feeling okay,

1307
01:05:25,240 --> 01:05:27,240
Speaker 1: so I text Op that I'll make it tonight, and

1308
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,960
Speaker 1: fast forward to six and my voice is starting to

1309
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:33,680
Speaker 1: go FML. So I call my friend, not Op, a

1310
01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:36,080
Speaker 1: mutual friend, to let everyone know I won't make it,

1311
01:05:36,320 --> 01:05:38,600
Speaker 1: But unbeknownst to me, she has already pre partied and

1312
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:41,520
Speaker 1: is about to skip out to chase some guy. Eight

1313
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:43,920
Speaker 1: pm comes around and I'm not feeling too bad, but

1314
01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:46,360
Speaker 1: I get a text from Op pissed off about how

1315
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:49,040
Speaker 1: I stood him up. Op stops responding, But my other

1316
01:05:49,120 --> 01:05:51,560
Speaker 1: friends let me know that my friend I had called

1317
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:56,880
Speaker 1: earlier today totally bailed again FML. I apologize to Op

1318
01:05:57,040 --> 01:05:59,680
Speaker 1: over text, but get no response, and this is where

1319
01:05:59,720 --> 01:06:02,960
Speaker 1: I aft up. I called my friend, the one from earlier,

1320
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:06,480
Speaker 1: and yell at her. Girl, yell at yourself, honestly, like

1321
01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:08,760
Speaker 1: the way that this goes down, it's like, I feel

1322
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:11,040
Speaker 1: like your friends would be quick to jump to like

1323
01:06:11,040 --> 01:06:14,160
Speaker 1: a does does she have like a substance abuse problem?

1324
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:16,320
Speaker 1: Like she's just like never comes down, She's always at home.

1325
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:18,800
Speaker 1: Whenever we could talk, she's like slurring your speech, like

1326
01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:19,600
Speaker 1: what's going on?

1327
01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:22,920
Speaker 3: And then they just think you're a crappy friend. Yes,

1328
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:26,160
Speaker 3: you're having a you know, a seizure.

1329
01:06:27,120 --> 01:06:31,280
Speaker 1: So why communication is the key? I didn't care how

1330
01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:34,160
Speaker 1: I sounded. I was mad. Well, she picks up, and

1331
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:38,080
Speaker 1: boy is she ever wasted. The two of us incoherently

1332
01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:40,920
Speaker 1: babble at each other until I just give up. However,

1333
01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:44,240
Speaker 1: after hanging up, I realized something my slurred speech and

1334
01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:47,080
Speaker 1: my clumsiness with so many wasted people out and about,

1335
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:50,960
Speaker 1: I can probably blend right in this. In retrospect was

1336
01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:54,640
Speaker 1: a terrible, miserable, horrible idea. I was desperate for a

1337
01:06:54,720 --> 01:06:56,840
Speaker 1: night out. I've never had a night out before, and

1338
01:06:56,920 --> 01:06:59,240
Speaker 1: maybe I could even save things with Op for the night.

1339
01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:01,800
Speaker 1: So I did it. I put the TV on in

1340
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:04,600
Speaker 1: my room so things wouldn't sound too quiet, dodged my

1341
01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:07,160
Speaker 1: parents and took the old hand me down Ford Focus

1342
01:07:07,240 --> 01:07:10,440
Speaker 1: that is quote unquote my car, and went downtown. Yes,

1343
01:07:10,520 --> 01:07:12,480
Speaker 1: read it. I'm twenty four and I had to sneak

1344
01:07:12,480 --> 01:07:15,160
Speaker 1: out of my parents' house. FML. Well, it's because you're

1345
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:18,600
Speaker 1: not allowed to drive after seven pm legally because of

1346
01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:22,320
Speaker 1: your condition. I made a downtown okay before nine thirty.

1347
01:07:22,560 --> 01:07:24,640
Speaker 1: My friends were right where they said they would be,

1348
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:27,640
Speaker 1: and for the first hour everything worked out. I walked

1349
01:07:27,680 --> 01:07:30,640
Speaker 1: right up to the table and boldly announced I'm wasted.

1350
01:07:31,040 --> 01:07:36,680
Speaker 1: I wasn't. I didn't drink anything. Everyone bought it too. Honestly,

1351
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:39,000
Speaker 1: I feel like you're doing more damage like this than

1352
01:07:39,040 --> 01:07:41,400
Speaker 1: you would be by just admitting that you have a condition.

1353
01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:44,360
Speaker 1: I hung out for a while, played pool and shot

1354
01:07:44,440 --> 01:07:48,200
Speaker 1: darts very badly, but I didn't see Ope anywhere. Some

1355
01:07:48,280 --> 01:07:50,360
Speaker 1: of the guys left to go pub hopping, so I

1356
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,840
Speaker 1: thought he was with them, but Op never came back,

1357
01:07:53,120 --> 01:07:55,600
Speaker 1: so around ten forty five, I decided to call it

1358
01:07:55,640 --> 01:07:59,200
Speaker 1: a night and swing by OHP's place to talk. Things

1359
01:07:59,240 --> 01:08:02,280
Speaker 1: go downhill really fast at this point. As I'm about

1360
01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:04,440
Speaker 1: to leave, a friend yells cheers and hands me a

1361
01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:07,640
Speaker 1: drink and I drink it like an idiot. I've never

1362
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:11,840
Speaker 1: actually drank before, and I thought I could just do it.

1363
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:15,000
Speaker 1: It was maybe half of a Booski. I didn't get

1364
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:18,240
Speaker 1: anywhere close to finishing it on a full stomach, no less,

1365
01:08:18,760 --> 01:08:19,880
Speaker 1: So what could be the harm?

1366
01:08:19,960 --> 01:08:25,600
Speaker 7: Right, I'm sorry, she's actively having an episode, she's already

1367
01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:29,360
Speaker 7: having an episode. Yeah, And it's like, yeah, what could

1368
01:08:29,400 --> 01:08:31,000
Speaker 7: be the harm of me drinking? Now?

1369
01:08:31,280 --> 01:08:33,600
Speaker 1: I'm really feeling like this whole thing should have just

1370
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:36,040
Speaker 1: been instead of you kind of explaining it like it

1371
01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:38,320
Speaker 1: was okay, or that it should have been okay, it

1372
01:08:38,360 --> 01:08:41,040
Speaker 1: should be explaining like none of this was ever okay.

1373
01:08:41,280 --> 01:08:44,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, and like, hey, I was the whole sequence of

1374
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:47,160
Speaker 7: events that I deeply regret.

1375
01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:52,839
Speaker 1: After all, everything was going so smoothly, Well, things stopped

1376
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:56,320
Speaker 1: going smoothly and it got bad really fast. I waved

1377
01:08:56,320 --> 01:08:59,479
Speaker 1: goodbye and headed to Ope's apartment. Maybe ten minutes away.

1378
01:09:00,040 --> 01:09:01,760
Speaker 1: I pulled in and got up the stairs when I

1379
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:05,479
Speaker 1: suddenly lost control of myself and body slammed into his door,

1380
01:09:05,920 --> 01:09:09,040
Speaker 1: face first. Thank god that happened when you were at

1381
01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:12,759
Speaker 1: his front door and not behind the wheel of your automobile. Now,

1382
01:09:13,439 --> 01:09:16,439
Speaker 1: I can usually feel an epileptic fit coming on about

1383
01:09:16,479 --> 01:09:18,519
Speaker 1: a minute or so before it happens. It's no big deal.

1384
01:09:19,240 --> 01:09:20,920
Speaker 1: Just stop what you're doing and lay on the floor

1385
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:23,720
Speaker 1: so you don't fall and can cuss yourself. Well, I

1386
01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:27,160
Speaker 1: guess the booze, even just a few SIPs, Yes, screws

1387
01:09:27,160 --> 01:09:30,160
Speaker 1: my brain up enough to not notice the seizure. FML.

1388
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,639
Speaker 7: Stop saying Stop saying FML.

1389
01:09:33,720 --> 01:09:35,840
Speaker 1: It sounds like it's like all boob It's like not

1390
01:09:36,040 --> 01:09:36,639
Speaker 1: my fault.

1391
01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:37,320
Speaker 7: Oopsie.

1392
01:09:37,680 --> 01:09:40,920
Speaker 1: Definitely also shouldn't be drinking a single drop of nothing

1393
01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:44,400
Speaker 1: on anti seizure medicine, Yeah, man, because I assume you're

1394
01:09:44,439 --> 01:09:48,320
Speaker 1: taking that and this is your first time and then

1395
01:09:48,360 --> 01:09:50,479
Speaker 1: you rolleme for all.

1396
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:53,400
Speaker 7: Not only did you drive while you were having a

1397
01:09:53,600 --> 01:09:57,120
Speaker 7: like episode, you also drove after drinking. I get it

1398
01:09:57,160 --> 01:09:59,639
Speaker 7: was a couple of SIPs. I don't care your first time.

1399
01:10:00,360 --> 01:10:05,400
Speaker 1: I'm on uh okay. OPI opens the door and finds

1400
01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:07,920
Speaker 1: me struggling to hold on to the doorframe. He helps

1401
01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:10,280
Speaker 1: me inside, just in time for me to seizure all

1402
01:10:10,320 --> 01:10:13,360
Speaker 1: over his futon. OPI left this part out, but these

1403
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:16,000
Speaker 1: were far from my normal seizures, not that he would know.

1404
01:10:16,439 --> 01:10:19,400
Speaker 1: These were really bad. I made a huge mess and

1405
01:10:20,479 --> 01:10:25,240
Speaker 1: I lost control of my bladder, which almost never happens.

1406
01:10:25,560 --> 01:10:28,960
Speaker 1: So after I pee myself and buy my tongue, I

1407
01:10:29,040 --> 01:10:31,519
Speaker 1: tried to explain to Op what's going on in post

1408
01:10:31,560 --> 01:10:34,760
Speaker 1: seizure voice. You can barely understand me, and thinks I'm

1409
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:38,559
Speaker 1: just extremely wasted. It didn't help that the first thing

1410
01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:42,280
Speaker 1: I said was it must be the drinks. The rest

1411
01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:44,800
Speaker 1: of the night happens as OP described.

1412
01:10:45,320 --> 01:10:48,280
Speaker 7: Wow. I think if I were this, if I were

1413
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:52,439
Speaker 7: the original OPI I could perhaps, after you know, having

1414
01:10:52,479 --> 01:10:56,559
Speaker 7: a whole talk sit down, let's let's get everything out

1415
01:10:56,560 --> 01:11:00,679
Speaker 7: in the open, could perhaps be friends again. I would

1416
01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:01,840
Speaker 7: not want to date this person.

1417
01:11:02,080 --> 01:11:04,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it does. It's not because you have epilepsy.

1418
01:11:04,920 --> 01:11:09,280
Speaker 1: It's because you just made a very horrifically poor string

1419
01:11:09,360 --> 01:11:10,080
Speaker 1: of decisions.

1420
01:11:10,520 --> 01:11:13,360
Speaker 7: And it wasn't even that, it wasn't even just that night.

1421
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:17,040
Speaker 7: It was you didn't tell people, didn't tell me for

1422
01:11:17,160 --> 01:11:20,639
Speaker 7: months we were dating and you didn't feel like medical

1423
01:11:21,439 --> 01:11:25,600
Speaker 7: very relevant medical information was worth telling me.

1424
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:26,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the thing.

1425
01:11:26,680 --> 01:11:29,439
Speaker 7: It's like, did you not trust me to tell me?

1426
01:11:30,080 --> 01:11:31,599
Speaker 7: How is it not relevant? I don't.

1427
01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:33,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I hope that doesn't get misconstrued. Is like,

1428
01:11:33,840 --> 01:11:36,320
Speaker 1: and it's because of the epilepsy, like for her or whatever,

1429
01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:39,040
Speaker 1: And it's like, no, it's it's not because you have epilepsies,

1430
01:11:39,080 --> 01:11:42,720
Speaker 1: because you didn't tell me you had epilepsy. And then

1431
01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:45,639
Speaker 1: for months I thought you just didn't like me at all,

1432
01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:47,599
Speaker 1: and I tried so hard.

1433
01:11:48,320 --> 01:11:50,559
Speaker 7: There's a little bit left. There is a little bit

1434
01:11:50,640 --> 01:11:51,400
Speaker 7: left know.

1435
01:11:52,479 --> 01:11:56,439
Speaker 1: So uh. He also made me breakfast and it was

1436
01:11:56,479 --> 01:12:00,920
Speaker 1: an omelet. Oh he is a good cook, omeling boy.

1437
01:12:02,880 --> 01:12:05,479
Speaker 1: I didn't feel like eating, however, so it got cold.

1438
01:12:05,880 --> 01:12:08,840
Speaker 1: It looks great. That's I'm still bummed out that I

1439
01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:09,639
Speaker 1: missed that omelet.

1440
01:12:09,720 --> 01:12:10,480
Speaker 7: That sucks.

1441
01:12:10,800 --> 01:12:14,960
Speaker 1: Okay, So finally the outcome of this crazy night, I

1442
01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:18,960
Speaker 1: have no car. My parents have banned me from driving,

1443
01:12:19,120 --> 01:12:20,960
Speaker 1: and not like I can blame them.

1444
01:12:21,080 --> 01:12:21,320
Speaker 2: Good.

1445
01:12:21,800 --> 01:12:24,280
Speaker 1: I will never drink again. I had no idea how

1446
01:12:24,360 --> 01:12:27,800
Speaker 1: much booze messes with epilepsy. I mean, I knew it

1447
01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:31,759
Speaker 1: could increase seizure risk, just not how bad it affects

1448
01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:36,920
Speaker 1: seizure intensity. OMG, it's bad. Finally, Op is giving me

1449
01:12:37,040 --> 01:12:40,320
Speaker 1: rides sometimes and he will make me breakfast again. I

1450
01:12:40,560 --> 01:12:44,360
Speaker 1: just hope I can eat the breakfast next time, so

1451
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:47,639
Speaker 1: I can't say things are too bad. That's the whole

1452
01:12:47,640 --> 01:12:50,959
Speaker 1: story at least. Thanks for reading everyone, man.

1453
01:12:50,800 --> 01:12:52,800
Speaker 7: Oh man, boy, oh boy.

1454
01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:56,400
Speaker 1: I don't know if everyone knows this. Every single prescription

1455
01:12:56,680 --> 01:12:59,760
Speaker 1: or over the counter medication in the United States has

1456
01:12:59,800 --> 01:13:02,280
Speaker 1: a code on it that you can google and it

1457
01:13:02,320 --> 01:13:05,800
Speaker 1: will tell you exactly what that thing is. Yeah, you

1458
01:13:05,880 --> 01:13:07,280
Speaker 1: never have to be like I don't know.