WEBVTT - Time Is Your Power 0:00:02.279 --> 0:00:04.720 I'm a homegrow that knows a little bit about everything 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:05.640 and everybody. 0:00:06.519 --> 0:00:10.160 You know, if you don't lie about that, right, la Hey, y'all, 0:00:10.160 --> 0:00:10.520 what's up. 0:00:10.520 --> 0:00:13.560 It's Laura Rosa and this is another episode of The 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:16.520 Latest with Laura Rosa. This is your daily take on 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:20.040 all things pop culture, entertainment, news, and all of the 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:21.920 conversations that shape the room. 0:00:22.000 --> 0:00:22.360 Baby. 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:25.599 Now, y'all know, we kick off the episode every single 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:29.520 episode checking in behind the scenes of the Grind. So 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:35.680 let's get too it. Checking in behind the scenes of 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:39.720 the Grind today. Yeah, I think behind the scenes of 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:44.000 the Grind today, I am honestly, uh reevaluating a lot 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:45.080 of things in their. 0:00:44.920 --> 0:00:46.000 Importance to me. 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:48.040 And I know that behind the scenes of the Grind 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:50.840 is literally you guys coming with me behind the scenes sometimes, 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:54.000 but a lot of times it's me telling y'all. 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:57.600 Like just where my mental is in real life. 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:00.400 Like I think, on the surface of everything, whether you 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:02.640 are tuning in here daily to the Latest with Laurna Rosa, 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:06.240 the podcast, or watching the Breakfast Club shoot. If we 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:08.759 even follow each other on social media, Lauren La Rosa, 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:12.920 everywhere you're seeing, but so much on the surface level. 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:15.440 So I like to use this time to give you, guys, 0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:18.280 like sometimes just to look into like my mental and 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:21.399 how I'm feeling about things, because I think when people ask, 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:23.440 and that's the reason why I added this segment in 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:26.800 the beginning of the podcast, how are you really feeling? 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:26.920 Like? 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:29.120 I want to check in, which is what I ask 0:01:29.160 --> 0:01:31.520 myself every single time before I crack this microphone for 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:34.880 the podcast. We're not always honest. I know for me, 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:37.520 I'm not always honest, and it's not because I don't 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:39.320 want to be. It's just because I'm like, yo, who 0:01:39.360 --> 0:01:41.120 has time to hear that? And do I even have 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:44.480 time to face what I'm even discussing? And most of 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:46.000 the time it's like, no, I'm trying to get to 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:48.560 the next thing you got, you know, news. 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:49.600 Breaking things happening. 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:52.560 But here on the podcast, we take the time to ask, 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:54.200 how are you really feeling? 0:01:55.080 --> 0:01:55.200 Now? 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:59.480 Think about it? Take a second with me, y'all. So 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:01.720 I told you the guys that I was reevaluating, you know, 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:05.960 just what things are most important to me or just 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:10.400 like prioritizing you know, things in their importance to myself. 0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:12.440 And the reason why I'm doing that. I don't mean 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:14.600 people in my life. I literally mean things in my life, 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:19.799 and like moving variables is because I have literally gotten 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:24.239 to a point now where my time means so much 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:27.200 and you know, people will be like me and Beyonce 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:28.840 got the same twenty four hours in a day, and 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:32.080 it's like, realistically, you do, but what you do with 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:36.080 that time is very very important. For a while now, 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:39.240 probably for like the last year, I've been feeling really 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:41.720 I've talked about here on the podcast and other behind 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:44.880 the scenes of the Grind opening of the episodes, where 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:47.200 you know, I go through guilt about certain things, whether 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:50.320 it's not being able to spend time, whether it's no 0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:52.440 longer want into a lot of time to certain things. 0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:54.840 I think I finally gotten to the point where I 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:58.000 understand why I was going through that. And the reason 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:00.959 why I say that is I have an instants happened 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:04.919 today where I was reporting on something within the Breakfast Club, 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:08.000 and I don't ever like to talk about things that 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:11.440 I haven't watched or experience to myself. But I've had 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:14.480 to learn to kind of like delegate, allow some of 0:03:14.480 --> 0:03:16.000 the producers that work with me to be able to 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:19.960 watch things and you know, talk me and produce me 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:21.960 through things, even if I haven't seen them myselfs I'm 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:23.919 really not fully comfortable with that yet. I'll be honest 0:03:23.960 --> 0:03:28.239 with you guys, But for the sake of time, literally, 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:30.200 I've had to learn how to do that because there's 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:33.640 just not enough hours between when I leave the breakfast club, 0:03:33.680 --> 0:03:35.320 when I record the Latest with on the Roads of 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:37.360 the podcast, when I try to eat, try to be 0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:39.040 a daughter, try to be a grand daughter, try to 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:41.560 be a girlfriend, try to get some sleep, try to 0:03:41.600 --> 0:03:43.800 just take a breather so that I don't burn myself 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:46.080 out to do everything. And I gotten to a point 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:47.880 where I was doing that again. I talked to you 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:50.240 guys through that burnout point here on the Latest with 0:03:50.280 --> 0:03:52.720 Lorna Rosa as well in the behind the scenes of 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:56.120 the Grind check in, you know, some months ago. But 0:03:57.040 --> 0:04:00.120 you know, when I think about now, when people or 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:03.440 like yo, my time is money, my time means everything, 0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:06.520 I literally don't have the time to I think what 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:09.200 has changed the time for me is, you know, when 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:11.400 I'm here and I'm on the show and I'm thinking 0:04:11.400 --> 0:04:15.000 about how valuable your word is and you know your 0:04:15.320 --> 0:04:22.760 commentary is, I'm literally trying every moment that you hear 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:26.080 me on whatever microphone I am on to make impacts. 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:29.360 So in doing that, there's a lot of preparation. There's 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:33.080 a lot of and sometimes preparation isn't even research. 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:35.240 I'm be honest with y'all. You know that's the majority 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:35.479 of it. 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:37.919 But a lot of the preparation for myself, it's just 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:43.400 talking myself into like, yo, you got it, Like you're here, 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:47.880 you have arrived. And I don't battle that as much 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:52.320 unless I feel like I haven't applied myself time wise 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:56.360 to what my prep routine is in order to do 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:58.480 what I need to do and show up every single day. 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:00.520 And the reason why I'll tell you telling you guys 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:02.800 all of this is because there was going back to 0:05:02.800 --> 0:05:03.919 what I was saying, there was a segment that I 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:07.279 did on The Breakfast Club. Within that segment, or not 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:10.480 even just within the segment, there was a show that 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:13.680 we produced and did with on The Breakfast Club where 0:05:13.760 --> 0:05:15.960 I wasn't really too you know for sure about a 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:17.880 lot of the topics I was talking about, not because 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:21.640 I didn't know about them and that the producers we 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:23.880 didn't like do our normal call the night before and 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:27.280 we delegate and people watch this and watch that, but 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:29.400 because I just didn't think that they were very strong. 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:30.920 Knock it out the part topics. 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:33.520 I didn't have any exclusive stuff, so I was like, Yo, 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:34.520 this is not strong. 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:36.039 This is not what I'm used to doing. 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:43.039 But I literally took the time to like separate myself 0:05:43.400 --> 0:05:47.000 from a lot of things the night before, you know, 0:05:47.800 --> 0:05:51.039 And I felt horrible doing it, but I took the 0:05:51.040 --> 0:05:54.000 time to separate myself from sitting on the phone for 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:57.280 no reason and just catching up, and I told myself, like, Yo, 0:05:57.360 --> 0:05:59.159 this is something this week I want to practice not 0:05:59.279 --> 0:06:01.839 doing a lot of And I was so happy I 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:04.280 did that because not only was I able to prep 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:06.600 the topics and get the information surrounding as much as 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:09.760 I could to know whether I was doing something right 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:12.480 or wrong when I came to report it, but I 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:14.440 also was able to I think I feel like it 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:16.480 was like I was able to more clearly lock in 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:19.599 to think about POV. And that's something that I've learned 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:22.479 a lot about and being in this personality space. And 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:25.760 I was thinking about that today, like, if your time 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:28.440 is money, right, and your time is so valuable and 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:30.640 you don't have time to waste on certain things, the 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:33.240 people watching you don't either, when they're coming to you, 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:35.279 they expect you to understand that they want things to 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:37.479 be concise, they want things to be clear. But a 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:39.320 lot of times it's not that you got to have 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:41.480 the exclusive Lauren. You don't got to tell people first 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:44.240 all the time. It's not that you have to have 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:48.599 the best interview, booking or SoundBite or whatever. A lot 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:50.560 of times it's just the way you're talking about it, 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:53.479 and that alone can be something that is exclusive to 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:57.279 the room you're in, the platform, you're on, whatever you're doing. 0:06:57.640 --> 0:06:59.920 And when I was talking myself through that, I was like, girl, 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:04.119 oh you this is why you need to be okay 0:07:04.160 --> 0:07:07.440 with telling yourself no, Like, no, I gotta take the time. 0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:10.240 I ain't got the time because I just woke up 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:18.280 this morning feeling so much clarity and power in that thought, 0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:22.240 the thought of y'all got to understand like for the 0:07:22.320 --> 0:07:28.560 last like for the last literally like I would say, 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:32.520 eight to eight years of my life prior to prior 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:36.760 to twenty twenty three, being in a newsroom like TMZ 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:40.760 where you are literally like you whipped into shape. It 0:07:40.800 --> 0:07:42.440 was one of the best things I've ever done. It. 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:44.120 I tell people all the time. It was a boot camp. 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:45.640 I wanted to go to school for my masters. That 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:47.880 was the best master's program I could have did in 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:53.760 the area of media production, conversation, reporting, news, all of 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:56.760 the things right, and people keep having these conversations about 0:07:56.800 --> 0:08:00.400 journalism versus influencer or whatever. In that newsroom. It's not 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:03.000 about the title. It's really about the know how and 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:05.240 which you know how to do. You're literally only as 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:06.840 good as your last story, to be honest with you, 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.760 I have been whipped into shape in that way. So 0:08:10.040 --> 0:08:11.480 a lot of times when I come in here, if 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:13.160 I don't feel like something is strong and I'm about 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.200 to get on this podcast, if I don't feel like 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:17.960 i'm you know, I go a week without an exclusive 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:23.000 and whatever, I don't feel like I'm I'm doing it 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:25.600 like it doesn't feel like I'm here all the time. 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:30.200 If I'm being honest with y'all, but realizing that it's 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:33.160 okay to say, yo, I don't got time to do 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:35.080 all of the surrounding things so that I can just 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:38.520 focus on just the feeling of girl, you are here, 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:39.520 you got this. 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:44.439 It took such weight off my shoulders. I don't know 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:44.960 why I. 0:08:44.880 --> 0:08:49.920 Was feeling so guilty about making room in space for myself, 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:53.280 Like it be messing me up, y'all. Like I don't 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:55.480 know what is going on in this era of my life. 0:08:56.000 --> 0:08:59.040 And as I'm turning thirty thirty four to thirty five, 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:02.040 as I'm turning thirty five five years old, but I've 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:05.240 literally begin like talking to myself in a way that 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:07.640 I never ever had to. Like I've always been a 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:11.080 very confident girl. Okay, I've always showed up. I've always 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:13.800 taken up space. But in this era of my life 0:09:13.800 --> 0:09:15.839 where everything is I mean not everything, but there's a 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:17.600 lot of things that are public, there's a lot of 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:20.320 things that can be critiqued and commented on. You know, 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:22.160 I think for a bit, I kind of like ran 0:09:22.200 --> 0:09:24.440 into the shell of like if I just play and safe, 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:28.480 I'm cool, And that's not how I want to live 0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:30.720 my life. Like you can be great or you can 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:32.440 be living in fear, and I don't want to live 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:34.400 in fear. I want to be great. Okay, God does 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:38.560 not give me the spirit of fear. And literally me 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:41.240 realizing that in order to be great, I can't be 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:45.080 afraid to say I got to create this really protected 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:48.640 space for myself. I don't have the time to like 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:50.800 I can't answer every phone call, I can't get back 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:52.640 to every text, I can't show up to every birthday. 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:55.400 Then I can't make every birthday trip like I just can't. 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:56.920 In the season of my life that I'm in, it 0:09:57.000 --> 0:09:58.920 is so sensitive and it is so important for me 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:01.280 to understand and that that is okay. 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:04.040 It's literally like a make or break for me. 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:06.920 And God, I don't know what it was that put 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:10.480 that on my spirit today of like, you just feel 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:12.480 so much better since you did that, because you were 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:13.800 able to take that. Even though I still feel like 0:10:13.800 --> 0:10:15.640 I'll be running out of time every night preparing for 0:10:15.640 --> 0:10:20.160 the next day, I woke up today feeling better, feeling 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:22.280 a lot more confident. And that has been happening over 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:24.480 these last couple of weeks as I've been making no changes. 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:26.280 So if anybody out there is listening to this and 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:28.760 you've been feeling a little bit like you know, off 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:31.479 a bit, you might got to look around and realize 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:34.040 you ain't got the time to be doing ABC D 0:10:34.160 --> 0:10:36.800 and E like you gotta focus on A and it's 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:38.360 got to be okay, and people in your life who 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:41.199 don't understand that. I think there might be a season 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:44.800 of out growing and I'm okay with that too. Let's 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:48.000 get on it into the latest, y'all. Speaking of seasons 0:10:48.840 --> 0:10:53.319 in life, Hayden pan Tier, actress, you know, from bringing 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:57.520 on Scream and so much more, she had been talking 0:10:57.520 --> 0:10:59.640 a lot about just different seasons of her life that 0:10:59.679 --> 0:11:01.840 she had been through. There is a Jay Shehatty interview 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:04.200 that she did when she released her book about her 0:11:04.200 --> 0:11:06.280 life and some of her past struggles with addiction and 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:10.199 depression and you know, young child fame and domestic violence 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:12.840 and a relationship that she was in. But she recently 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:15.360 passed away at the age of thirty six. There was 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:17.120 a call that was made to an apartment that she 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:20.280 was at in South Carolina for a woman in cardiac arrest, 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:23.760 and then it was you know, reports were updated, you 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:26.040 know via TMZ that this call actually came in as 0:11:26.080 --> 0:11:27.480 a woman cardiac arrest. 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:29.079 And then there was a mention of an overdose. 0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:32.160 And now I mean everybody across the boarders reporting is 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:38.000 including a TMZ that there was narcan or narkhan found 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:41.600 at the scene of uh, you know, where she passed away, 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:45.320 because she did pass away on the scene. So again, 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:49.079 no toxicology report officially out I've seen reports that the 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:53.000 toxicology and stuff are done, but no official cause of 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.640 death yet, but you know, people are beginning to speculate 0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:58.800 whether this was an overdose. Now we the new information 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:01.400 that we found out that was just some background is 0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:04.240 that her on again, off again boyfriend was actually there 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:08.600 with her, him and another family member when she was 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:10.400 you know, and they made the phone call to get 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:16.000 responders there. She was unconscious and they were there. As 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:19.480 you know, paramedics tried to revive her back to life 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:22.240 and were unsuccessful. And we are told that her on again, 0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:27.920 off again boyfriend, Brian Hankerson, actually is his name. We 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:31.480 are told that he got very emotional when they pronounced 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:35.320 her dead, which I mean, you can imagine they now, 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:39.880 you know, Henkerson and Hayden been dating for some time, 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:43.480 on again, off again, but you know, according to recent reports, 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:46.000 he sat down for interviews and talked a bit about 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:49.000 you know, you know, just the fact that they were 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:51.400 still in a relationship at the current time, and that 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:54.360 they kept it a secret because of her career, because 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:57.040 of how bad their relationship had gotten in the midst 0:12:57.040 --> 0:13:03.240 of all of the other turmoil. So you know, fans 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:06.560 are trying to put things together. I saw people pointing 0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:08.480 fingers toward him. I know that police have said that 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:11.880 there was no you know, imminent or immediate signs of 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:17.440 foul play whatsoever. We don't know what happened, but I 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:21.880 have seen people pouring out love for her. More recently, 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:25.400 Solange did now her and Solange did bring It on 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:30.240 Again together, and you know, like they were young, there 0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:32.280 were teenagers. But this is a movie that, like a 0:13:32.280 --> 0:13:34.000 lot of us remember, a lot of us point to 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:38.040 when it comes to Hayden's career. Solange says, rest in peace, Hayden, 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:41.520 because you are so deserving of it. We had so 0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:44.360 many parallels in our lives, and the world watched you 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:47.840 so courageously live in your radical truth, telling your story. 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:51.800 We watched your endless quest for vulnerability and healing. I 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:54.440 salute your journey, and I honor the work we created 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:58.000 together that became something that really means something to people, 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:01.120 reaching people we couldn't have it. Imagine at the time 0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:04.120 as two young girls trying to keep looking to the 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:08.520 light the lights around you. Now, Rest easy, Hayden. I 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:12.800 also saw miss Viola Davis poor out love for her 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:17.560 as well too. Emma Roberts, Jeremy Renner. So many people 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:20.400 are poor and got love. As the updates you know continue, 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:23.560 you know, and they will. I think people want to 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:26.800 know what happened. I know that, you know. Like I mentioned, 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:30.320 she had talked about her struggles with addictions. There was 0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:35.800 also reports via a police report that her boyfriend, Hankerson, 0:14:35.800 --> 0:14:39.080 who we talked about a bit, when police arrived, he 0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:41.560 gave police a bag of medicine that she had been taking. 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:46.880 Across various reports, I saw, you know, several outlets reporting 0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:49.560 that she had been complaining of back pain for the 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:51.400 last year. So not for sure if she was taking 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:54.720 medicine for that. And you know, there will be some 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:58.040 updates here, but those are the most recent updates. Wanted 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:01.520 to bring you guys that and we'll watch this closely. 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:03.160 The story is developing. 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:04.320 Now. 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:05.840 Before we get on out of here, I do want 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:08.120 to grab a bit of an interview that she did. 0:15:08.120 --> 0:15:10.480 I mentioned Jay Shetty in an interview that she did, 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:12.920 and I saw him Jay Shetty, speak out about you know, 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:15.560 hating in her light as well too, and just her 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:19.600 courageous spirit for telling her story. She was very honest 0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:21.280 about a lot of the things she went through. She 0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:23.400 talked about addiction. Let's take a listen. 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:29.040 I've been struggling for a long time and I just 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:33.200 needed a break. Four years ended up being the amount 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:36.640 of time, and I definitely absolutely did not expect it 0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:39.520 would that long. I felt like I was walking blind 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:43.400 and there was nobody there that was really able to 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:45.840 support me in the way that I needed to be supported. 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:48.960 And I don't like to ask for help either, you know, 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.560 I want to be that strong, stoke woman. But I mean, 0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:55.600 when you see a happy go Luki girl for years 0:15:56.080 --> 0:16:02.520 suddenly on the floor in a puddle of mess and alcohol, 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:06.800 you got to know something's wrong. Panetier revealing that she 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:09.240 was first introduced to the substances that would lead her 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:11.920 down a dark path in her teen years. When I 0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:16.160 was about sixteen, one of the people that I was 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:19.560 working with in my inner circle introduced me for the 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:22.800 first time to what she called happy pills. And I 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:25.120 had no idea what they were, but I know that 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.080 when I was given one and I was sent down 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:31.200 a red carpet, I was like lively and like totally 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:34.920 down to answer the questions in a chatterbox, what did. 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:36.960 You come to learn? Those happy pills were. 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:39.800 I think they were a form of adderall. I was 0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:46.360 completely annowledgeable about drugs and that kind of thing. I 0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:51.560 did grow up around people that I felt like I 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:54.640 didn't realize till later, but I felt like used alcohol 0:16:56.800 --> 0:16:57.480 as medicine. 0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:01.320 She talked about postpartum depression in the decision to give 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:04.840 up her daughter following experiencing that, Let's take a listen. 0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:08.400 What do you want people to know about postponed depression 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:09.880 that you think they miss? 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:13.880 That it's real, that it's not something we make up, 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:20.480 it's not something we want. It's not you know that 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:27.520 we've we've we've lost our our marbles and and it's 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:32.040 not something that we want to go through. And and 0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:36.200 we're not lying when we tell you something strong, and 0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:40.560 and we're we're in tears for absolutely no reason, Like 0:17:41.640 --> 0:17:44.879 we don't have control over this, and this would be 0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:49.520 the last thing that we would ever want to experience 0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:52.360 or go through it. We want to be with our children, 0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:56.359 our child, our brand new child, and have be filled 0:17:56.400 --> 0:18:00.919 with joy and feel like the luckiest person in the world, 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:08.080 and and you know, capture every every moment, and for 0:18:08.119 --> 0:18:16.680 anyone to think otherwise is just misinformed and Uh yeah, 0:18:16.840 --> 0:18:20.320 I just I think people need to know a lot 0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:22.000 more about it, need to understand. 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:24.080 And she also talked about the loss of her brother 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:27.160 and how that impacted her currently while she was living. 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:31.680 Oh yeah, there's a there was nothing in my life 0:18:31.720 --> 0:18:36.120 that feels like losing my other half, like the other 0:18:36.160 --> 0:18:39.240 half that I was, that was born to be my 0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:45.680 my the yang to my yang, and we were so close, 0:18:45.760 --> 0:18:51.520 and especially being the older sibling who that's your job 0:18:51.640 --> 0:18:56.440 to protect them and keep them safe and not being 0:18:56.480 --> 0:19:02.120 able to is I mean, your heartbreaking doesn't doesn't even 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:06.000 begin to cover it. I would need to a dictionary 0:19:06.119 --> 0:19:08.840 to go through all the words for all the feelings 0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:14.080 that you know, I go through your mind. But I've 0:19:14.280 --> 0:19:17.240 got I mean, I collapsed and it's stayed with me. 0:19:17.400 --> 0:19:19.840 I know time is like the best is the best 0:19:19.920 --> 0:19:24.920 tailor generally, but it's been three years and every year 0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:32.879 it's gotten, it's changed. The heartbreak has changed. But losing 0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:37.080 him and realizing how much of life I was going 0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:41.080 to have to go through alone and without him where 0:19:41.080 --> 0:19:45.879 I when I always saw him as being there. You know, 0:19:46.000 --> 0:19:49.760 the day that my parents are not here anymore, I'm 0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:53.720 going to have to do alone and the fact that 0:19:53.760 --> 0:19:58.200 he's not here to be a part of my daughter's life, 0:19:58.960 --> 0:20:02.440 and the fact that he's I mean, there's so many 0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:06.040 times I want to call him all the time, and 0:20:07.560 --> 0:20:13.720 he was my best, best friend, and and like when 0:20:13.840 --> 0:20:18.360 he first died, I just remember screaming, I don't want 0:20:18.400 --> 0:20:23.479 to live in a world where he doesn't exist, so 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:31.879 I unfortunately had to. But he seems so alive in 0:20:31.920 --> 0:20:40.680 my head still. He was such a big, big personality, 0:20:40.119 --> 0:20:44.840 and he just like I ain no matter how, no 0:20:44.880 --> 0:20:47.080 matter what, Like I was just one of those people. 0:20:47.119 --> 0:20:52.680 I never thought anything could take him down or take 0:20:52.760 --> 0:20:56.439 him away. He was so good too, And it makes 0:20:56.760 --> 0:21:03.240 you so angry to see so that they're bad people 0:21:03.359 --> 0:21:08.000 thriving in this world, and then one so good that's 0:21:08.200 --> 0:21:16.040 just taken from you. Why it's not fair, It doesn't 0:21:16.040 --> 0:21:22.080 make sense. So that's something I just I don't think 0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:28.360 i'll ever I'll never get over, It'll just evolve. Luckily, 0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:31.639 he was an amazing artist, and I have his his 0:21:32.119 --> 0:21:35.679 paint some of his paintings, and that keeps part of 0:21:35.760 --> 0:21:42.880 him alive for me. He left that behind, beautiful things behind, 0:21:43.160 --> 0:21:48.600 but and I feel him with me. I know that's 0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:53.400