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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, on works, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEARVFM dot com and click.

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Speaker 2: Submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: We could be reading your letter live on the air,

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Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one right here,

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Speaker 1: right now, and you never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 3: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on time.

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Speaker 2: We got a fool you here.

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Speaker 3: It is very letter.

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Speaker 2: Thank you nephew. Subject.

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Speaker 1: If he can't share, then I can't either. Stephen Shirley,

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Speaker 1: I'm thirty nine years old and my husband is forty two.

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Speaker 1: I stopped working in nine to five when my tax

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Speaker 1: business took off two years ago. I run a small

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Speaker 1: office space and I offer debt relief services after tax season.

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Speaker 1: In my mind, my husband never expected me to do

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Speaker 1: so well and make so much money. He started hating

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Speaker 1: on me early on, and he was negative about every

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Speaker 1: advancement I made in getting set up. He wouldn't come

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Speaker 1: to my office until I have moved in it. He's

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Speaker 1: really upset that I am making a lot more money

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Speaker 1: than he is, so that's a problem. He expects me

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Speaker 1: to put post most of my earnings and our joint savings.

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Speaker 1: But I put most of my money into a business

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Speaker 1: account because my income fluctuates each month.

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Speaker 2: The sweet things that he used to do for me,

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Speaker 2: he no longer does them.

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Speaker 1: He loves to tell me that I can buy whatever

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Speaker 1: I want for myself. Now he will stop buy and

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Speaker 1: pick up his favorite wine and not get my favorite wine,

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Speaker 1: or he'll get himself a stake to throw on the

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Speaker 1: grill and tell me that he thought i'd be somewhere

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Speaker 1: having a fancy dinner with a client. I've never been

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Speaker 1: out with any of my clients, so my husband's behavior

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Speaker 1: irks me. But when it's caudle time, he expects me

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Speaker 1: to still perform like he wants me to. I can't

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Speaker 1: even get turned on by that hater most times, because

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Speaker 1: I know what he thinks of me now. The final

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Speaker 1: straw was when I took him to dinner for our

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Speaker 1: anniversary and he ordered to appetizers and didn't let me

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Speaker 1: try them. He told me to order what I like

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Speaker 1: to eat. He has never done me like that. The

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Speaker 1: kicker was that he told me to pay for our food.

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Speaker 1: I'm so done with him unless he comes clean and

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Speaker 1: tells me what's up. So if he can't share, I

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Speaker 1: can't either, and no more sex will be had in

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Speaker 1: this house. How can I get to the bottom of this? Well,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like you've already gotten to the bottom of it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, your husband is jealous of you and hating

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Speaker 1: on your success. According to what you've said in this letter,

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Speaker 1: there are a lot of men who support their wives

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Speaker 1: and celebrate when their wives succeed because they are mature

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Speaker 1: enough to know it's a win.

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Speaker 2: For their wife and for them.

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Speaker 1: So it's a win for both, no losers in that situation,

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Speaker 1: a win for the whole family. But your man is

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Speaker 1: childish about this, you know, not letting you, not wanting

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Speaker 1: you to try his food and all of that.

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Speaker 2: And you know, and he's also selfish. That's the other ish,

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Speaker 2: childish and selfish. It's just wrong.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure it's hurtful coming from the one person you

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Speaker 1: always expected to have your back. Your elevation doesn't diminish

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Speaker 1: his status one bit. I mean, your light doesn't dim

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Speaker 1: his light. Obviously he thinks it does, and he's feeling

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Speaker 1: some kind of way about all of this. And I,

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Speaker 1: as a woman, to understand why it's a turn off

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Speaker 1: to you when he acts like this. His bad behavior

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Speaker 1: doesn't make you want to do it. It doesn't make

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Speaker 1: you get in the mood or anything like that. No romance,

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Speaker 1: no sex, because we all know with women, it starts

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Speaker 1: in the mind. He's not empowering you, he's not happy

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Speaker 1: for you. He's belittling you. But he doesn't see that

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Speaker 1: the two are related. So instead of making him guess

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Speaker 1: why the sex stopped and all that, tell him what's

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Speaker 1: going on with you and how he makes you feel.

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Speaker 1: He's got to get his jealousy under control and realize

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Speaker 1: he's dealing with you and you're a boss now, you're

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Speaker 1: making your own money and all of that.

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Speaker 4: Steve, this, really, this is going to be a hard

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Speaker 4: one because I know exactly what's happening, and fix for

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Speaker 4: this has to come from him.

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Speaker 3: It's really nothing you can do. You can't make a

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Speaker 3: person feel better who is determined not to, and that's

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Speaker 3: the case here. You're thirty nine, your husband forty two.

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Speaker 4: You stop working your nine to five because your tax

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Speaker 4: business took off. You got an office and you offer

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Speaker 4: debt release services after tax season. Now that's an interesting business.

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Speaker 4: So you after tax season when people got their money

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Speaker 4: and everything. You offer another business called debt relief services.

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Speaker 4: Now I'm not sure what that is. Whether you loan

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Speaker 4: money or you show people how to get out of debt,

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Speaker 4: or you fix their credit report. It could be any

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Speaker 4: number of things, but whatever, she's found a Niche he

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Speaker 4: started hating on me early, and he was negative about

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Speaker 4: all the advancements I made.

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Speaker 3: And he ain't even come to the office till you

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Speaker 3: open it up.

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Speaker 4: Okay, he's really upset that I'm making his the whole

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Speaker 4: letter right here, He's really upset that I'm making a

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Speaker 4: lot more money than he is.

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Speaker 3: So that's a problem here. This is the letter. This

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Speaker 3: is it you making way more money than him.

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Speaker 4: And his male ego is bruised and he does not

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Speaker 4: know how to cope with that because he's one of

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Speaker 4: those men where if he up, he up.

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Speaker 3: But if he ain't up, you bet not be upfer.

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Speaker 2: You get what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: If he ain't up, you bet not be upfer.

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Speaker 4: Now, this is a rough one to solve now, because

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Speaker 4: it ain't like you going off and you done left

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Speaker 4: him or nothing.

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Speaker 3: You staying right there. But it's in his face.

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Speaker 4: Now he expects me to put most of my earnings

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Speaker 4: in our joint savings. See that right there, that's his fix.

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Speaker 4: Put all your money in our joint so I can

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Speaker 4: look in here and see what we got. But you

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Speaker 4: run a business, so you got to put your money

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Speaker 4: in your business account because your income.

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Speaker 3: Fluctuates each month. That's the life of an entrepreneur.

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Speaker 4: That's understandable, because he may be spending money that you

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Speaker 4: may need to cover something doing those months where it's

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Speaker 4: not so good. The sweet things he used to do

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Speaker 4: for me, he no longer does them right there. That's hate.

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Speaker 4: You got money, what you need me for? He loves

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Speaker 4: to tell me I can buy whatever I want for myself.

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Speaker 4: He'll stop and pick up his favorite wine and not

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Speaker 4: get my favorite one.

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Speaker 3: Okay he trifling now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, hang on, Steve, damn dog.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subject

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Speaker 1: if he can't share, I can't either.

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Speaker 2: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 2: hard morning show.

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Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject if he can't s I can either.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you got a problem.

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Speaker 4: Lady, because this dude is real, Petty, The whole problem

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Speaker 4: in this letter is you make more money than he does.

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Speaker 3: That's what this whole letter is about.

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Speaker 4: His thirty nine year old lady married to a forty

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Speaker 4: two year old She quit a nine to five because

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Speaker 4: your tax business took off.

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Speaker 3: She has a debt relief service.

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Speaker 4: It's gotten to the point where she's making a lot

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Speaker 4: more money than her husband. And now he cannot stand

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Speaker 4: the fact that she's making a lot more money than

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Speaker 4: he is. So that's the problem, and that is the problem,

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Speaker 4: and it don't look like that's gonna change. And you

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Speaker 4: don't have a fix for this because now you're dealing

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Speaker 4: with the male ego that is severely bruised. He expects

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Speaker 4: you to put most of your earnings into a bank account,

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Speaker 4: y'all's joint account that way, so he can look in

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Speaker 4: there and see what we got. Because as long as

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Speaker 4: you see he can see your money over there, and

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Speaker 4: he is over here, and it ain't adding up, he

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Speaker 4: gonna keep that little shaded feeling going right there, your man, Petty.

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Speaker 4: The sweet thing is he used to do for the

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Speaker 4: sweet things he used to do for me, He no

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Speaker 4: longer does and he loves to tell me that I

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Speaker 4: can buy whatever I want for myself. Now, well, you know,

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Speaker 4: sometimes when you take away a man's feeling of being

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Speaker 4: a knight in shining Army, if you take away his

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Speaker 4: feeling of being like the go to person, that hurts

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Speaker 4: his ego. That's what's happened here. Yeah, it's like you

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Speaker 4: could do for yourself. Now, he can't come in and like, hey,

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Speaker 4: I bought you this, I bought you that, because now

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Speaker 4: he looking at your money once again. Though that ain't

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Speaker 4: your fault. Once again, that's just not your fault. We're

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Speaker 4: dealing with the pettiness of the male ego, which is very,

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Speaker 4: very sensitive, and it's bruise right now, he'll stop buying

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Speaker 4: pick up his favorite wine and not get my favorite wine.

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Speaker 4: He trifling now, cus, damn dog, it's just a bottle

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Speaker 4: of wine y'all are drinking, you know, or Chateau Latour,

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Speaker 4: you know, two thousand dollars a bottle. Just get you

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Speaker 4: some silver oaks, dog, and you come back in here

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Speaker 4: with that. Mason and y'all go on and have a

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Speaker 4: good evening. But he don't even want to do that

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Speaker 4: no more, because he trifling or he'll get his something

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Speaker 4: to hit the one that's real trifle. He'll get hisself

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Speaker 4: a steak, throw it on the grill and tell me

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Speaker 4: he thought I'd be somewhere having a fancy dinner with

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Speaker 4: a client.

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Speaker 3: You bought one piece of meat to the house. Done.

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Speaker 2: That's terrible, Doug.

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Speaker 4: You know, good and well you can buy two steaks

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Speaker 4: in case your wife ain't having dinner with a client.

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Speaker 4: But then the lady says, I've never been out with

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Speaker 4: any of my clients.

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Speaker 3: So my husband and hurryveer irks me.

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Speaker 4: But when it comes and cuddle time, he expects me

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Speaker 4: to still perform like he wants me to. I can't

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Speaker 4: even get turned on by that hater most times because

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Speaker 4: I know what he thinks of me.

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Speaker 3: Now well, see now it's payback time.

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Speaker 4: Every action deserves an equal and opposite reaction. And so

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Speaker 4: now he gonna start getting a message because you've had

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Speaker 4: to get the message. See, you can't send a person

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Speaker 4: a message and then don't expect a message to get

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Speaker 4: sent back to you.

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Speaker 3: We see that acting out in real life.

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Speaker 4: Everywhere we go. Hello, Hello, Let me just say this

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Speaker 4: right here. You can't go act a fool on a

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Speaker 4: bunch of people and then don't act. Don't don't expect

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Speaker 4: to get acted.

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Speaker 3: The fool on.

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Speaker 4: Hello, what you're saying now? You better snap? Snap, crackle

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Speaker 4: pop We rice krispies. Now, tap water do the same

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Speaker 4: thing as milk when you put it on rice krispies.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. This awes. The kicker is

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Speaker 4: that he told me, oh, anyway. The final strawple was

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Speaker 4: when I took him to dinner for our anniversary. You

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Speaker 4: took him to dinner for your anniversary, God Thom, and

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Speaker 4: he ordered two appetizers and didn't let me try him.

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Speaker 4: He told me to order what I like to eat.

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Speaker 4: He has never done me like that before. Yeah, your boy,

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Speaker 4: he petty. The kicker was that he told me to

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Speaker 4: pay for our food. I'm done with him unless he

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Speaker 4: comes clean and tells me what's uping like Shirley said,

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Speaker 4: he already told you what's up. He thinks you can

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Speaker 4: pay for everything.

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Speaker 3: He don't.

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Speaker 4: He don't want do no acts of kindness for you

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Speaker 4: no more because he lived feeling. Hey, I wish Marjorie

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Speaker 4: would make more money. Please, for the love of.

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Speaker 2: God, celebrate that. Yeah, they're.

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Speaker 1: A lot of men who would be happy about this,

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Speaker 1: but not her man, Please.

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Speaker 3: Make no money to please please, I'll be.

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Speaker 4: Doing her toenails and watching her feet running bath water.

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Speaker 3: Man.

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Speaker 4: What so if he can't share, I can't share either.

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Speaker 4: No more sex will be had in this house? How

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Speaker 4: can I get to the bottom of this?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 4: Let her do it right there? No more sex in

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Speaker 4: this her house. Yeah, that pretty much do it.

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Speaker 3: That's it, got mon divided attention.

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Speaker 4: Once the sex stops at a man's house getting his attention,

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Speaker 4: you now have it because he wants you to do

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Speaker 4: a cuddle time. He wants you to perform like, ain't

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Speaker 4: none of this happening? And this is your perfect time

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Speaker 4: to tell her. Let him know that every action deserves

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Speaker 4: an equalinops of reaction. And if you can't share, I

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Speaker 4: can't share either. So you don't want you don't want

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Speaker 4: none of my money, But you want some of my honey,

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Speaker 4: But you don't want to give me nothing. So now

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Speaker 4: I don't want you don't want to buy me wine.

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Speaker 4: You don't want me to try your appetizer, Well, I

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Speaker 4: don't want you trying none of my snacks.

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Speaker 2: Easther, you bring one steak for the girl?

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Speaker 4: Oh okay, you done? Bought one steak. Okay, okay, so

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Speaker 4: we withholding snacks. My snack too. That's all it is.

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Speaker 4: I think you're on track with it right there.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Steve.

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Speaker 1: Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram at

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Speaker 1: Steve harb Fm, and check us out on the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app, where free never

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Speaker 1: sounded so good. Next, we've all been waiting for it

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Speaker 1: it is, and sports talk right after this.

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Speaker 3: Come on.

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Speaker 2: You're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show