1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to close the loop. If someone suggests 4 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 1: something and you do it, let them know you did. 5 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 1: It's an easy way to create connections and make someone 6 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:34,599 Speaker 1: else feel useful. In life, we have to figure out 7 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 1: a lot of things that aren't necessarily life changing, but 8 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 1: are important in their own way. Where to send the 9 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:45,599 Speaker 1: kids to summer camp, Tasty dessert options for people who 10 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:49,480 Speaker 1: can't eat dairy products, where to find a good pair 11 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: of black pants. If you are wise, you no doubt 12 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: ask friends and acquaintances for ideas, and they are no 13 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 1: doubt eager to help. And perhaps you try some of 14 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:06,639 Speaker 1: these suggestions out. If you do take the next step, 15 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: tell whoever made the recommendation that you tried it. Close 16 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: the loop. Even if you wound up going in a 17 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 1: different direction, letting the other person know that you tried 18 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: their idea can make them feel quite useful. Thanks for 19 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:28,039 Speaker 1: the recommendation on the theory black pants. I wound up 20 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: trying them on and a few others, and I bought 21 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: some from M. M le Fleur, but I thought they 22 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 1: were all great, your suggestion was really helpful. Who wouldn't 23 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: want feedback like that? Now, I will admit that there 24 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:42,679 Speaker 1: is a personal reason I am bringing this topic up today. 25 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 1: This episode is first airing on March eighteen, twenty two, 26 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 1: and the first episodes of Before Breakfast ran on March eighteenth, 27 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen, three years ago today. Since then, I have 28 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 1: produced over seven hundred fifty of these little bite sized 29 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: episode It's and I love hearing from people, So I 30 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: am curious if you have tried one of the Before 31 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,799 Speaker 1: Breakfast suggestions? Would you let me know how it went. 32 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: You can tell me if it was helpful and what 33 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 1: came from trying it. And if you tried something and 34 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 1: it didn't work for you, you can let me know 35 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: that too. I am always looking to figure out what 36 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 1: is helpful for people and what might be trickier to 37 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: implement or is just less helpful than I thought it 38 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:35,080 Speaker 1: might be. You can always email me at Laura at 39 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: Laura Vanderkam dot com. I love to hear from people 40 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: about the Before Breakfast suggestions, and in that spirit, I'm 41 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: going to list just a few suggestions that I have 42 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,359 Speaker 1: found helpful that I've featured on this show in the past. 43 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,959 Speaker 1: Just little ones here, but one very practical one is 44 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: Erika Dewan's idea from her book Digital Body Language that 45 00:02:54,919 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: using one exclamation point is enough. We now know that 46 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: emails are perceived more negatively than the human voice, so 47 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: putting in some exclamation points is okay to show emphasis 48 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 1: or excitement, but one is enough. More than that can 49 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: come across as a wee bit much. I think that 50 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,280 Speaker 1: is a great rule, and it is definitely running through 51 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: my mind before I hit send. Likewise, I love Dorri 52 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,399 Speaker 1: Clark's rule from her book Playing the Long Game of 53 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 1: no Asks for a year. Don't ask for a favor 54 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 1: requiring someone to use their social or career capital for 55 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 1: at least a year after meeting them and building a 56 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: genuine relationship. Not only do you feel less transactional, you 57 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: build better relationships. Sounds like a win to me, and 58 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: I keep remembering Shasta Nelson's admonition that relationships are based 59 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 1: on frequency, vulnerability, and positi ativity. Of those frequency tends 60 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 1: to be the foundational piece. You feel closer to people 61 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 1: you see a lot, and you can add the other 62 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:13,520 Speaker 1: pieces after that. So come up with ways to see 63 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:18,719 Speaker 1: people more often. Any regular get together with friends is 64 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:23,480 Speaker 1: almost always a good idea. There are a great many 65 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 1: more tips like that if you scroll back through the 66 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 1: podcast feed. One of the wonderful things about doing this 67 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: show is that I get to learn all sorts of 68 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:36,160 Speaker 1: strategies and try them out myself. Life is such a 69 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: gift already, and one of the best ways I know 70 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: to express that is to keep finding ways to enjoy 71 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: it more and to stop overthinking things that aren't worth overthinking. 72 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 1: So let me know what worked for you or didn't 73 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: work for you again. You can reach me at Laura 74 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 1: at Laura Vanderkamp dot com. In the meantime, this is Laura. 75 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening these past three years, and here's to 76 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 1: making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love 77 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,920 Speaker 1: to hear from you. You can send me your tips, 78 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:25,600 Speaker 1: your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, 79 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:30,480 Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod that's b E the 80 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 1: number four then Breakfast p o D. You can also 81 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 1: shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i 82 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,320 Speaker 1: heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out 83 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 1: with all the letters. Thanks so much. I look forward 84 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:52,280 Speaker 1: to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of 85 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, 86 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 87 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: you list into your favorite shows. H