WEBVTT - "Veneers" w/ Marley Gotterer 0:00:19.560 --> 0:00:27.400 Podcast starts now wow we are frazzled and tired today I. 0:00:27.560 --> 0:00:29.860 Want to say I said I would come in and 0:00:29.900 --> 0:00:33.180 not complain you have to let it out I need 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:36.860 to set the stage I have slept 10 hours in 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:40.380 the last 3 days explain why I was traveling. 0:00:40.630 --> 0:00:41.380 Traveling. 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:42.120 Madonna. 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:43.000 Of course. 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:44.940 I was traveling and then due. 0:00:44.840 --> 0:00:51.790 To jet lag, it's traveling. What song is that? It's 0:00:51.810 --> 0:00:54.209 from Ray of Light. You know I don't know based 0:00:54.270 --> 0:00:55.790 on just that. It's Sky Fitzheaven. 0:00:56.140 --> 0:00:58.900 I'm not one of these people that's like, guess the note, 0:00:58.980 --> 0:01:00.080 guess the song based on one note. 0:01:00.220 --> 0:01:00.820 I'm not always out. 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:03.320 I would say, not only am I not that, I 0:01:03.360 --> 0:01:05.160 sometimes can't even guess a song based on the title. 0:01:05.620 --> 0:01:07.819 I don't know. When someone tells the title, give me 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:08.740 information I can use. 0:01:08.980 --> 0:01:10.960 My biggest fear is that I will become really famous 0:01:11.020 --> 0:01:13.339 and then do a video where they're like, who's your 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:15.160 favorite artist? I'm like, Fiona Apple. They're like, what's your 0:01:15.180 --> 0:01:17.650 favorite Fiona Apple song? none of them are coming to 0:01:17.690 --> 0:01:18.050 my mind. 0:01:18.190 --> 0:01:20.050 Of course this happens to me anytime I do any 0:01:20.150 --> 0:01:21.170 LGBTQ plus show. 0:01:21.190 --> 0:01:23.810 They'll be like, sing that diva song. 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:25.780 And I'll be like, fuck, I forgot them all. Fuck, 0:01:25.819 --> 0:01:29.160 I forgot them all. Sing that diva song. 0:01:29.220 --> 0:01:33.279 So anyway, I haven't slept. Today I woke up, had 0:01:33.680 --> 0:01:37.300 a physical and an STI test. They took, I would say, 0:01:38.810 --> 0:01:41.190 like eight vials of my blood. I actually don't think 0:01:41.209 --> 0:01:43.030 it was legal what they did. I think they're cloning me. 0:01:43.660 --> 0:01:46.340 And I'm feeling, I basically can't feel my left arm. 0:01:46.740 --> 0:01:48.600 And I'm worried I'm going to faint. 0:01:48.900 --> 0:01:51.000 Well, I think we'll be good about that, which I'm 0:01:51.020 --> 0:01:53.480 not a doctor, of course, but... Well, neither was the 0:01:53.500 --> 0:01:55.500 person who took my blood, probably. I think the coffee 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:57.480 will hit harder because you don't have as much blood. 0:01:57.500 --> 0:01:59.260 It's like when you drink on an empty stomach. 0:01:59.300 --> 0:02:00.800 Well, I am having a Cortado, which I think is 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:06.410 so fabulous. It's kind of like, It's very Goldilocks vibes 0:02:06.430 --> 0:02:08.370 where it's like, well, an espresso is too little. 0:02:08.690 --> 0:02:10.720 You know I don't know how much is in a Cortado. 0:02:10.740 --> 0:02:11.820 What do you mean? You can see. 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:15.880 Isn't this like in the middle of small and large? 0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:17.220 I didn't know what was in it. 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:20.840 Sam, we need to talk about your, like the idea 0:02:20.860 --> 0:02:24.090 that you are so insecure about your lack of knowledge 0:02:24.110 --> 0:02:26.030 in coffee that you are seeing the size of this 0:02:26.610 --> 0:02:28.260 and you're saying, I don't know what size that is. 0:02:28.330 --> 0:02:30.429 I don't know what's in it though. But it doesn't matter. 0:02:30.470 --> 0:02:33.150 So Cortado is a size? Cort.... 0:02:35.910 --> 0:02:36.800 Clocked. Clearly. 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:37.380 Got his ass. 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:40.340 Clearly this is more than an espresso shot, but less 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:41.500 than like a latte. 0:02:41.800 --> 0:02:42.230 Can you not see? 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:45.020 People are putting espresso shots in giant cups saying, here's 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:45.740 your espresso. 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:49.549 You can never know what's in it. One to one. 0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:49.950 One to one. 0:02:50.040 --> 0:02:50.120 Yes. 0:02:50.139 --> 0:02:52.500 One to one milk and coffee. One to one cup 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:54.410 and espresso. No, no, no. 0:02:55.790 --> 0:02:56.649 I can't believe this. 0:02:56.730 --> 0:02:57.049 Anyway. 0:02:57.430 --> 0:03:00.390 So that's my tea. And by the way, my birthday party. 0:03:00.230 --> 0:03:03.030 Was last night. And it was a huge success. Huge success. 0:03:03.070 --> 0:03:04.730 Shout out to DJ Louie for DJing. 0:03:05.130 --> 0:03:05.210 Um. 0:03:06.260 --> 0:03:09.050 It was, I kept calling it my adult bar mitzvah. 0:03:09.090 --> 0:03:10.930 No one found that funny or charming. 0:03:11.310 --> 0:03:13.589 No. They said, are you converting? I said, nope. 0:03:13.889 --> 0:03:16.970 I just mean the music is kind of top 40. 0:03:16.970 --> 0:03:19.010 It was very top 40, but it was electric. Of course. 0:03:19.150 --> 0:03:20.530 And everyone was having a blast. 0:03:20.790 --> 0:03:23.130 My one complaint, one single complaint, he didn't play that 0:03:23.220 --> 0:03:26.620 one song where she goes, it's not okay. 0:03:26.980 --> 0:03:29.320 I don't fuck with it. Yeah, that would have been nice. 0:03:29.340 --> 0:03:30.400 Because that would have been a huge moment. 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:32.650 At the peak, when everyone was there. 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:34.309 Yeah, Matthew was like, he didn't play Ray of Light. 0:03:34.330 --> 0:03:35.770 I was like, yes, he did. 0:03:35.810 --> 0:03:37.290 Maybe you were in the bathroom. But I would have 0:03:37.330 --> 0:03:38.690 obviously shot him on the. 0:03:38.630 --> 0:03:40.110 Spot if he didn't play Ray of Light. He did 0:03:40.130 --> 0:03:41.950 Ray of Light, and it went really hard, actually. 0:03:42.670 --> 0:03:44.830 Okay, what song do you think, for anyone listening at 0:03:44.870 --> 0:03:48.200 home who wasn't invited, sorry, this was a Madonna, I 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:50.380 had a Madonna dance party for my birthday, for my 0:03:50.420 --> 0:03:55.160 35th birthday. They say, my mom had three kids when 0:03:55.180 --> 0:03:57.820 she was 35. but I actually had a Madonna-themed dance 0:03:57.880 --> 0:03:59.400 party in the Lower East Side. 0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:01.480 And both are valid. 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:04.520 Because I actually think, cumulatively, I'm like, me and my sisters, 0:04:04.540 --> 0:04:06.480 how much have we really accomplished? Like, what is the 0:04:06.500 --> 0:04:09.700 return on investment on my mom's having three kids? It's like, okay, 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:10.800 one iHeart podcast. 0:04:12.740 --> 0:04:16.010 You know, a few- Aren't your sisters like doctors and engineers? No, 0:04:16.050 --> 0:04:18.750 that's true. I think they made their money back tenfold. 0:04:19.010 --> 0:04:21.310 Well, not yet, because the one that's a doctor hasn't 0:04:21.330 --> 0:04:23.630 started practicing yet. So, so far, it's just paying for 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:24.450 school and stuff. 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:24.770 Oh, okay. 0:04:24.980 --> 0:04:27.020 So, to be honest, she, like, is worth less than I. 0:04:27.060 --> 0:04:29.619 Am at this point. That's sad. I mean, God bless, 0:04:29.660 --> 0:04:31.100 but it is true. Nothing but love. 0:04:31.300 --> 0:04:40.719 Anyway, our guest today from the planet of Glamazon. 0:04:39.500 --> 0:04:43.440 Is Miss Marley Godner. Godderer. Godderer. Godderer. 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:43.880 Yeah. 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:46.760 What did I say? I don't know. You swallowed it, 0:04:46.779 --> 0:04:48.370 you were scared. I swallowed it, I was scared. You 0:04:48.380 --> 0:04:52.590 were scared. And that's part of, in my planet, we 0:04:52.630 --> 0:04:54.510 can sit here. 0:04:54.710 --> 0:04:59.589 I feel like Federer, like two R's, Federer, Goderer, it's 0:04:59.690 --> 0:05:01.810 like make one of them a different consonant. No offense, 0:05:01.850 --> 0:05:04.630 not to be doing Greek hand gestures at you. 0:05:04.630 --> 0:05:06.679 Hey, take it up, you know, because it definitely was 0:05:07.080 --> 0:05:12.840 probably from Ellis Island to the Holocaust. So it was like, 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:14.940 Because it's a German last name. From Ellis Island to 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:17.300 the Holocaust? Yeah, back and forth and back and forth. 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:19.520 I've never heard of someone going from Ellis Island to 0:05:19.560 --> 0:05:23.300 the Holocaust. No, they wanted to turn. Oh, they got there. 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:25.820 They said, this place sucks. They were like, no. Yeah, 0:05:25.860 --> 0:05:29.700 this place, no. And then they went back. Oh. And 0:05:29.750 --> 0:05:31.849 then they changed their last name to German. 0:05:31.870 --> 0:05:32.610 Okay. 0:05:32.810 --> 0:05:38.930 Although we're Russian and Polish. Because Gotterer. Right, Gotterer. God 0:05:38.970 --> 0:05:39.830 lover in German. 0:05:40.170 --> 0:05:44.470 So you're Russian and Polish. Went to Germany. 0:05:44.490 --> 0:05:46.070 Jet setting back and forth. Jet setting back and forth. 0:05:46.089 --> 0:05:47.610 Between the Holocaust and Ellis Island. 0:05:47.650 --> 0:05:47.929 Yeah. 0:05:48.910 --> 0:05:51.510 The New York and LA of that time. Right, right. 0:05:51.529 --> 0:05:54.909 So you were bi-coastal? Yeah, they were bi. 0:05:57.050 --> 0:05:59.890 And then you ended up eventually, I assume, since you 0:05:59.930 --> 0:06:02.270 are a U.S. resident, coming back to Ellis Island and 0:06:02.310 --> 0:06:03.180 then settling here? 0:06:03.380 --> 0:06:05.380 Yes, opening a candy shop. 0:06:05.540 --> 0:06:05.800 Oh, really? 0:06:05.810 --> 0:06:10.780 Part of the Jewish-Italian mafia. Are you also Italian? 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:11.700 No. 0:06:12.300 --> 0:06:15.570 Can't we be friends? They're linking up for a joint slay. 0:06:15.630 --> 0:06:20.790 Oh, you're saying it was a Jewish ex-Italian mafia collab. 0:06:20.890 --> 0:06:22.530 It was a collab, it was the first collab. 0:06:22.550 --> 0:06:24.150 Your family happened to be on the Jewish side, but 0:06:24.170 --> 0:06:27.409 they were with the Italians. They were having joint parties. 0:06:27.450 --> 0:06:30.510 Right, right. Okay, that's fine. Joint murder sprees. 0:06:30.670 --> 0:06:33.370 It was a joint murder sprees. Well, that is really beautiful. 0:06:33.390 --> 0:06:40.260 It was kind of like a Kauslada X Saratoga sparkling water. 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:45.250 Right, bleep those both out, okay? Triggered. Also, you should convert. 0:06:45.750 --> 0:06:50.660 To Judaism? Italian? Yes, your bar mitzvah, yeah. Convert to Italian. 0:06:50.700 --> 0:06:52.840 I mean, I could convert to Italian tomorrow. 0:06:53.140 --> 0:06:55.360 When I was 26, I was trying to convert to Italian. 0:06:55.500 --> 0:06:57.080 I feel like you would do well as an Italian. 0:06:57.120 --> 0:06:58.180 I was trying really hard. 0:06:58.660 --> 0:07:00.419 And there are Italians that have your calling. 0:07:01.220 --> 0:07:04.020 I'm like Irish-Scottish. Irish, Scottish, Greek. 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.640 Yeah, I'm Greek, but I... I am married to a 0:07:06.660 --> 0:07:11.740 Jewish man and I am single-handedly raising. 0:07:11.900 --> 0:07:12.280 Say that. 0:07:12.300 --> 0:07:12.660 Say that. 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:15.540 Hold space for that. Married to a Jewish man. 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:18.620 And I'm single-handedly raising a Jewish niece. And by single-handedly, 0:07:18.660 --> 0:07:20.020 I mean, you know, she has her parents, but I 0:07:20.060 --> 0:07:21.060 live a 10-minute walk away. 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:21.360 Right. 0:07:21.420 --> 0:07:22.700 And I have babysat overnight. 0:07:23.050 --> 0:07:25.490 Right. Wow. Yeah, it's a lot of responsibility. You're the 0:07:25.510 --> 0:07:26.590 gungle of our dreams. 0:07:27.490 --> 0:07:30.430 Well, I almost got them, or I was like, I 0:07:30.470 --> 0:07:34.170 wanted to get them the book. Well, yes, actually my 0:07:34.210 --> 0:07:37.850 niece and both their parents are all non-binary. But they 0:07:37.890 --> 0:07:41.150 also collectively go by them. It's really beautiful. They keep 0:07:41.190 --> 0:07:43.390 telling me she's a girl and I'm like, I don't 0:07:43.570 --> 0:07:44.130 think so. 0:07:44.130 --> 0:07:48.050 Don't believe that. You liar. I can feel something non-binary here. 0:07:48.150 --> 0:07:50.230 There's a book series called The Guncle. It's like these 0:07:50.270 --> 0:07:52.850 beach reads for kind of upper middle class people that 0:07:52.870 --> 0:07:54.950 vacation in the Hamptons. And I wanted to get them 0:07:55.050 --> 0:07:58.360 one of them, but... Apparently the plot is that the 0:07:58.400 --> 0:08:00.240 parents die and the gung-ho has to raise the kids. 0:08:00.280 --> 0:08:01.660 So I didn't want to send that message. 0:08:01.780 --> 0:08:06.460 The Jewish Italian mafia comes after that. It's a threat. 0:08:07.730 --> 0:08:09.000 It's a threat. Wow. 0:08:09.170 --> 0:08:13.010 If you could assassinate any American, who would you choose? 0:08:14.830 --> 0:08:16.090 You can't say Chapel Roan. 0:08:17.190 --> 0:08:20.410 Isn't Benjamin Netanyahu from like Philly? 0:08:20.430 --> 0:08:21.550 He is. 0:08:22.270 --> 0:08:24.690 You know, it's funny because I know what you are like. 0:08:26.060 --> 0:08:28.180 I have a dream that I once read something along 0:08:28.220 --> 0:08:28.720 those lines. 0:08:28.740 --> 0:08:32.040 He's the vibe of being from outside of Philly. So 0:08:32.380 --> 0:08:35.140 he'll coming, see mom, Donnie wants to arrest him. I 0:08:35.179 --> 0:08:40.819 want to. I am not. Put that in. Do not 0:08:40.860 --> 0:08:41.400 cut that. 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:44.780 The harm you've done for Jewish visibility. 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:47.730 You're getting read. I am. Just in the 10 minutes 0:08:47.750 --> 0:08:49.250 you've been on this podcast. I know. 0:08:49.270 --> 0:08:53.120 You're saying my family went back to the Holocaust. Then 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:56.740 they joined the Jewish mafia. And now you want to murder? 0:08:58.020 --> 0:08:58.220 Who? 0:08:58.240 --> 0:09:05.650 A Philly-based Jewish-American president? A Philly-based Jewish-American president? 0:09:06.450 --> 0:09:09.630 Yes. All right. You asked me who I wanted to assassinate. 0:09:09.870 --> 0:09:13.550 Who would you assassinate? Let's flip it. Okay. Let's get 0:09:13.590 --> 0:09:16.610 versed about it. Let's get versed about it? Let's get 0:09:16.670 --> 0:09:17.580 versed up in here. 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:17.680 Yeah. 0:09:17.929 --> 0:09:19.640 Who would you assassinate? Who would I assassinate? 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:21.120 I think. 0:09:21.670 --> 0:09:25.829 Let's see, let's see. I'm running through. 0:09:25.850 --> 0:09:27.100 You're running through everyone? 0:09:27.270 --> 0:09:29.780 Everyone, I'm running through my database of everyone. This is 0:09:29.820 --> 0:09:31.320 exactly what I was afraid of earlier. 0:09:31.700 --> 0:09:33.660 This is like me being like, sing that song D.Va. 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:36.780 Sing that song D.Va. And I'm like, I can't remember 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:38.200 a single name or a word. 0:09:39.300 --> 0:09:41.570 But I think I would like to assassinate someone who 0:09:41.610 --> 0:09:44.110 has done potentially one good thing. 0:09:44.130 --> 0:09:47.449 And then it'll be so sad and they'll be a 0:09:47.490 --> 0:09:51.550 hero forever. So you want to murder someone. Basically. And 0:09:51.550 --> 0:09:53.310 give them that as a gift. Someone who's been in 0:09:53.309 --> 0:09:56.349 like one movie and they like crushed it. Okay. I 0:09:56.390 --> 0:10:01.050 was in a short. Did you crush it? Yeah, did 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:04.200 you crush it? Yeah, I absolutely slayed. Do you want 0:10:04.220 --> 0:10:07.160 to assassinate Marley? Well, that would be really easy because 0:10:07.179 --> 0:10:11.600 we're already here. Okay, how would you do it? Look 0:10:11.740 --> 0:10:15.780 at me in my eyes. In my eyes, plural, three plus. 0:10:15.820 --> 0:10:17.880 I think I would orchestrate. 0:10:20.620 --> 0:10:23.240 Some sort of plan where you choke on a bunch 0:10:23.260 --> 0:10:24.260 of peanut M & Ms. 0:10:24.840 --> 0:10:27.920 Oh, because I'm allergic? Just the basic element, you're choking. 0:10:28.179 --> 0:10:29.180 Yeah, you're going to choke. 0:10:29.200 --> 0:10:31.319 Sorry, but it's going to be choke-based. It's going to 0:10:31.340 --> 0:10:34.380 be choke-based. Okay, well, that's actually fair for me because 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:36.819 one time I tried to swallow a huge green grape 0:10:36.860 --> 0:10:39.140 in the bathtub and I choked and I cried. 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:41.179 This is like Final Destination. 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:43.140 It's like coming back to haunt you. 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:45.969 I got the sense that you're afraid of choking. 0:10:46.090 --> 0:10:51.240 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, like, Going out choking alone. Yeah. 0:10:51.650 --> 0:10:54.050 But how could you plan that? I want to do 0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:56.680 the wire where you're like. Ooh, yes. And you're like. 0:10:57.320 --> 0:11:01.760 I'm driving the Uber. Yes, exactly. I like abduct you. Yeah, 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:03.640 but I have a little trick up my sleeve. It's 0:11:03.660 --> 0:11:06.280 a wire. Oh, I like that. That would be good. 0:11:06.300 --> 0:11:08.860 And I'm decapitated, but I'm still alive. What if it's 0:11:08.900 --> 0:11:10.640 my phone charger? Oh, yeah. 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:13.000 You should choke Marley with your phone charger. 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:14.420 Old or new iPhone? 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:14.699 Old. 0:11:15.970 --> 0:11:18.010 Oh, that's, oh God. I don't know if that's tough enough. 0:11:18.030 --> 0:11:22.920 That's such a like poverty-coded death to die by the 0:11:23.059 --> 0:11:23.860 old iPhone charger. 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:25.440 Did you just say poverty-coded? 0:11:25.460 --> 0:11:27.199 He couldn't even buy the new one? 0:11:27.260 --> 0:11:29.460 Not that feeling when the death is poverty-coded. When the 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:36.120 choking is poverty-coded. Oh, that offends you? I'm sorry, Marley. 0:11:38.220 --> 0:11:42.439 My off-color joke about iPhone chargers offends you? You've already, 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:45.320 the ADL is on the line saying get her out 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:45.820 of that room. 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:49.609 Right, I was gonna write Android for like my straight topic, 0:11:49.660 --> 0:11:53.210 but then I was like, that's actually Parvarty. Parvarty. Parvarty 0:11:53.390 --> 0:11:55.090 from Survivor. Really? Yeah. 0:11:55.190 --> 0:11:55.290 Yeah. 0:11:58.440 --> 0:11:59.800 She was in studio with Sam and Ellie and I 0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:01.640 had to zoom in so I didn't breathe her air, 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:02.540 but I think. 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:04.590 She was really farmed with Sam. You breathed her air? 0:12:04.610 --> 0:12:05.750 I breathed her air. 0:12:06.350 --> 0:12:07.949 She was flirting with both of us big time. 0:12:07.970 --> 0:12:11.070 Really? It was crazy. She's so charming. It's kind of scary. 0:12:11.110 --> 0:12:13.329 That's how she does it. That's her thing. It works. 0:12:13.710 --> 0:12:15.390 And she can't really turn it off. I mean, it's 0:12:15.410 --> 0:12:17.170 like any room she enters, she might be going to 0:12:17.230 --> 0:12:20.810 order a cortado and she's like, You know, stop, yeah, 0:12:20.929 --> 0:12:21.970 I'll have the small. 0:12:22.429 --> 0:12:25.309 I kind of, you know, if I were to play Survivor, 0:12:25.490 --> 0:12:31.740 I do say that I would play like Parvati X Carolyn. Carolyn. Oh, 0:12:31.780 --> 0:12:33.020 Sam knows this season. 0:12:33.300 --> 0:12:34.819 Oh, see, I haven't seen any Survivor. 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:35.620 I'm sorry. 0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:36.860 Swing and a miss. 0:12:37.670 --> 0:12:39.890 For you folks at home, you would know. We don't 0:12:39.910 --> 0:12:43.250 know any proper nouns. We don't know any proper nouns. 0:12:43.350 --> 0:12:45.310 I'm a flirt and I'm crazy. Let's get one thing straight. 0:12:45.330 --> 0:12:46.250 That's all you need to know. 0:12:46.370 --> 0:12:50.360 I don't know any proper nouns. That's my Real Housewives catchphrase. 0:12:50.380 --> 0:12:53.600 Try having a conversation with this. I love the beach 0:12:53.620 --> 0:12:58.439 and I don't know any proper nouns. Speaking of, I 0:12:58.500 --> 0:13:01.500 was the bartender yesterday. We were gonna ask about this. 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:03.330 You were the bartender? I was the bartender. 0:13:03.350 --> 0:13:06.690 You came into George's party last night with different sort 0:13:06.710 --> 0:13:07.440 of prosthetics on. 0:13:08.220 --> 0:13:11.439 You were wearing fish gills on your face. 0:13:11.660 --> 0:13:14.460 I was gilled. I was gilled down. Matthew did tell 0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:17.400 me who was that girl with the vaginas on her face. 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:21.339 I said, those are gills. And what if they were vaginas? See, 0:13:21.460 --> 0:13:24.040 I thought you were being Lady Gaga born this way. Yeah, 0:13:24.059 --> 0:13:26.400 it was. Well, I was in terms of like, this 0:13:26.470 --> 0:13:30.510 was the real me. I'm beautiful in my way. Sure, totally. 0:13:30.530 --> 0:13:32.210 Of course. Because I was born this way. 0:13:32.230 --> 0:13:32.310 Yeah. 0:13:32.830 --> 0:13:34.850 And that was the, that's like what I kind of 0:13:34.890 --> 0:13:38.309 said to everyone was like, oh, what's, to be like 0:13:38.370 --> 0:13:43.850 what like Andy Cohen, Andy comma Cohen was like, so 0:13:44.230 --> 0:13:45.710 what's the story with the makeup? 0:13:45.970 --> 0:13:47.730 Yeah, and you were like, what's the story with your makeup? 0:13:47.870 --> 0:13:54.530 Right, I said makeup. And it was very Jimmy Fallon 0:13:54.770 --> 0:14:00.370 asking RuPaul, whatever. And then drag queen. Drag queen? Yeah. 0:14:00.410 --> 0:14:05.650 Drag queen? Exactly. So, I mean, it was interesting. So 0:14:05.690 --> 0:14:07.600 you were a bartender? I was a bartender. What was 0:14:07.630 --> 0:14:08.079 that like? 0:14:08.390 --> 0:14:09.359 Did you poison anyone? 0:14:09.820 --> 0:14:11.559 Did they let you speak when you were a bartender? 0:14:11.620 --> 0:14:14.359 They let me speak like one and a half sentences. 0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:18.620 I said, he said, how do you make it in 0:14:19.020 --> 0:14:21.450 New York? And I said, well, you need to find 0:14:21.490 --> 0:14:25.150 a place to live. And to find the best place 0:14:25.210 --> 0:14:29.170 to live, you need to sleep with your Hasidic landlord. Oh, 0:14:30.230 --> 0:14:30.930 did you do that? 0:14:30.970 --> 0:14:31.070 Yep. 0:14:31.730 --> 0:14:34.630 That's awesome. Thanks. You slept with your Hasidic landlord? Well, 0:14:34.650 --> 0:14:39.860 not mine. Okay, well, did it help you out? So 0:14:39.900 --> 0:14:41.390 if it was not yours, then how did that help 0:14:41.430 --> 0:14:43.270 you with the housing? Well, it's a really tight network. 0:14:43.910 --> 0:14:46.610 Oh, so you slept with a- Thank you. You wanted 0:14:46.650 --> 0:14:48.820 to keep business and pleasure separate. You said, I'm gonna 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:51.560 sleep with this landlord, but he has a landlord community. 0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:55.920 He can kind of post on Facebook groups like, hey, 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:59.840 so this kind of like half fish mermaid that I 0:14:59.880 --> 0:15:02.739 slept with does need housing. 0:15:04.380 --> 0:15:09.680 She is, um, squatting and being evicted in a house 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:11.800 of six transgender people. 0:15:11.900 --> 0:15:13.860 Her budget is 50 cents total. 0:15:16.250 --> 0:15:19.280 Yeah, there was a moment when I was being evicted 0:15:19.300 --> 0:15:23.109 and I posted, like, being evicted, ah, like, help me 0:15:23.150 --> 0:15:26.950 find housing. And then I'll just say another comedian with 0:15:27.070 --> 0:15:30.790 lots of lots of lots of lots of followers reposted 0:15:30.810 --> 0:15:35.530 it and was like, help Marley find affordable housing. And 0:15:35.890 --> 0:15:40.510 it just was embarrassing a little bit. Totally, yeah. I 0:15:40.550 --> 0:15:42.670 was like, so you could have shared one of my 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:46.580 standup reels. Sure. You could have shared my standup reels, 0:15:46.660 --> 0:15:49.400 but instead this is the one post you reshare. Well, 0:15:50.740 --> 0:15:53.440 that's tough. It's also like, it is offensive. 0:15:53.780 --> 0:15:57.120 It's offensive because it's like this person, and I think 0:15:57.140 --> 0:15:57.660 I know who it is. 0:15:57.840 --> 0:15:59.680 I would love to know. Is looking at you, yes. 0:16:00.570 --> 0:16:03.550 Is looking at you and is saying like, as a 0:16:04.310 --> 0:16:07.680 writer performer, I'm not engaging. 0:16:07.700 --> 0:16:12.080 Right. As a victim. No, that works for me. I'm engaging. Yeah. 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:18.500 And we all have that. Savior complex. One time, I think, yes, 0:16:18.570 --> 0:16:20.390 I do think we have the savior complex. I mean, 0:16:20.430 --> 0:16:26.800 you're having me on the podcast. Silence. 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:31.130 That's the gag meters at three probably by now. We 0:16:31.270 --> 0:16:33.070 wanted to have you on because we heard that you 0:16:33.230 --> 0:16:35.490 are looking for housing and wanted to. 0:16:35.410 --> 0:16:38.770 Give you a platform to maybe. 0:16:37.890 --> 0:16:41.820 Beg, talk about what systemic inequality has got you where 0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:45.800 you are today, which is again, unhoused. So if you 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:46.940 want to speak out. 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:52.170 Well, my home planet was destroyed. Sure. unhoused in that way. 0:16:52.210 --> 0:16:55.780 And then you just kind of plopped up on Ellis Island. 0:16:56.120 --> 0:17:00.280 You're first generation American, correct? 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:05.540 You came into Ellis Island. Yep. Via spaceship. Yeah, via 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:10.090 spaceship as a kind of queer creator. Yeah, and now 0:17:10.150 --> 0:17:13.090 I'm like reside outside of Philly in a suburb. 0:17:13.109 --> 0:17:16.189 Guy number four? Wait, is that true? 0:17:16.210 --> 0:17:16.310 What? 0:17:18.930 --> 0:17:20.130 That marley lives. 0:17:20.130 --> 0:17:22.350 You live here i live here yeah thank god sorry 0:17:22.369 --> 0:17:24.250 i'm confused well actually right now i am living in 0:17:24.290 --> 0:17:27.250 western massachusetts no you're not okay yes i'm working at 0:17:27.270 --> 0:17:28.949 a camp you have to be honest about where you 0:17:29.030 --> 0:17:31.270 are working at a camp yes i'm working at a 0:17:31.310 --> 0:17:37.280 camp for for a lot of i would say mostly 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:42.430 transgender autistic Teenagers. 0:17:42.670 --> 0:17:45.490 You struggled much more with saying transgender than autistic. 0:17:45.550 --> 0:17:49.020 Well, it's a really hard word to say. Let's investigate that. 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:52.360 Let's transvestigate that, if you will. Okay, let's transvestigate me. 0:17:53.080 --> 0:17:57.399 Do you feel like- Genital check. Boy, stand up. 0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:01.640 Do you feel like the kids that you are counseling 0:18:02.850 --> 0:18:05.209 would identify as either of the two identities you are 0:18:05.250 --> 0:18:05.930 forcing on them? 0:18:05.990 --> 0:18:07.290 Or is it more of your- Is this like a 0:18:07.310 --> 0:18:08.189 George's niece situation? 0:18:08.210 --> 0:18:10.100 Yeah, are you sort of just like guessing? Are you 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:12.199 looking at them and you're like, I feel like you're 0:18:12.220 --> 0:18:13.120 all given trans. 0:18:13.420 --> 0:18:20.379 I would say we need to expand language to encapsulate 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:24.400 more than those words. Like I would say they are 0:18:24.530 --> 0:18:27.230 beyond those words. 0:18:27.290 --> 0:18:29.050 You would say they are beyond autistic. 0:18:30.350 --> 0:18:31.170 Far beyond. 0:18:31.190 --> 0:18:31.270 Okay. 0:18:32.340 --> 0:18:36.500 Here's trans, you're here. No, exactly. Like it's not a 0:18:36.540 --> 0:18:39.940 spectrum anymore. Wow. Oh, it's not a spectrum. 0:18:40.740 --> 0:18:40.980 No. 0:18:41.000 --> 0:18:45.410 Because they're past the spectrum. Exactly. We've hit the ceiling. 0:18:45.450 --> 0:18:49.570 The glass ceiling shattered. You are mixing metaphors, Missy. The 0:18:49.770 --> 0:18:51.010 spectrum goes up. 0:18:51.030 --> 0:18:52.730 At the top of the spectrum is the ceiling. 0:18:52.869 --> 0:18:57.210 I see. What's at the bottom? The floor? There's lava. Oh, okay. Well, 0:18:57.230 --> 0:19:02.590 it's where all gay people go. Then who goes to 0:19:02.650 --> 0:19:09.450 the top? Well, of course the furries. With the armadillo tails. See, 0:19:09.510 --> 0:19:11.969 I told you, we are beyond. We are beyond. This 0:19:11.990 --> 0:19:13.100 is making complete sense to me. 0:19:13.170 --> 0:19:16.560 What age range would you say the kids, the transgender 0:19:16.600 --> 0:19:17.300 autistic kids? 0:19:17.300 --> 0:19:20.040 13 to 18. Okay. It's teenagers, yeah. 0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:24.520 Well, that's when you are realizing things about both your sexuality, gender, 0:19:24.540 --> 0:19:24.840 mental health. 0:19:24.940 --> 0:19:29.510 Et cetera. Yeah, it is intense. I taught a comedy 0:19:29.590 --> 0:19:34.930 writing class. There were... It was Ash, Asher, and Asher. 0:19:34.950 --> 0:19:38.660 Okay, well, now you're back to antisemitic. 0:19:42.600 --> 0:19:43.700 You have anything to say to that? 0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:46.010 I just want to say that that's not that weird. 0:19:46.290 --> 0:19:49.290 In our community, I feel like, you know, I'm often 0:19:49.330 --> 0:19:50.820 with a mic. and a Michael. 0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:51.639 Right. 0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:52.940 Exactly. Good Christian names. 0:19:53.700 --> 0:19:54.080 Right. 0:19:54.480 --> 0:19:59.720 Well, it's funny because Ash, I think, now transgenderly ascends 0:19:59.940 --> 0:20:06.389 or transcends Judaism. Give me another name. Let's see. Devorah. 0:20:09.770 --> 0:20:11.950 I love this game. Can we get some graphics for this? 0:20:12.710 --> 0:20:17.730 Name that Jewish name. Okay. You're naming them. What is 0:20:17.770 --> 0:20:19.900 my response going to be? You're deciding. We'll actually just 0:20:19.940 --> 0:20:22.760 go around and name one. The most Jewish name you 0:20:22.780 --> 0:20:23.460 can think of. 0:20:23.640 --> 0:20:25.859 Well, remember when Madonna's Kabbalah name was Esther? 0:20:27.140 --> 0:20:29.570 No, I did not remember that. What? You guys need 0:20:29.590 --> 0:20:32.730 to hit the stacks. 0:20:32.810 --> 0:20:36.470 When Madonna got into Kabbalah, she was given a Jewish 0:20:36.490 --> 0:20:37.350 name and it was Esther. 0:20:37.490 --> 0:20:39.490 Wow, that's beautiful. I think it is beautiful. 0:20:39.520 --> 0:20:41.179 That is a beautiful name. I don't think she is 0:20:41.220 --> 0:20:42.619 an Esther. I think Esther is a beautiful name. I 0:20:42.660 --> 0:20:44.360 don't think Madonna is an Esther. I actually think she's 0:20:44.420 --> 0:20:45.300 more of a Devorah. 0:20:45.680 --> 0:20:48.480 Yeah. Do you know the story of Esther? I would 0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:53.100 love it if you told me. All right. So this 0:20:53.160 --> 0:20:56.429 is the story, Purim. Do you know Purim? Mm-hmm. So 0:20:56.470 --> 0:20:59.840 it's when you dress up, you know, little triangles, hamantaschen 0:21:00.170 --> 0:21:02.859 filled with jelly. You're learning, you don't know. This is 0:21:02.940 --> 0:21:08.540 all new things. Okay. So basically there is the king. Actually, 0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:11.119 this is relevant because one of my first, when I 0:21:11.180 --> 0:21:14.990 started transitioning, my first name change was- Here we go. 0:21:15.290 --> 0:21:22.550 Oh my God. 0:21:22.750 --> 0:21:26.490 So that's one to four gagging. We've been gagging, we've 0:21:26.510 --> 0:21:29.980 been gagged four, four? Or I've done four, you've done one. 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:36.600 And many more to come. All right, Ryan, you started transitioning. 0:21:37.720 --> 0:21:46.110 My first name change was Vashti, who was basically King Ahashverosh, 0:21:46.710 --> 0:21:51.510 was the king non-Jew. And basically he was married to 0:21:51.550 --> 0:21:55.810 this woman named Vashti. And he was having a party 0:21:55.930 --> 0:21:59.270 and basically was like, my wife, get up on this table. 0:21:59.290 --> 0:22:01.409 It was like maybe day three of the party. I 0:22:01.450 --> 0:22:03.909 don't even know. He's like, get naked and dance for 0:22:03.930 --> 0:22:08.810 all my friends. And she was like, fuck you. She 0:22:08.850 --> 0:22:12.150 got kicked out. So she stood up to the king 0:22:12.250 --> 0:22:15.080 and was like, fuck y'all. I'm not gonna dance naked 0:22:15.119 --> 0:22:18.580 for you. Which now, as I've grown, I'm like, if 0:22:18.660 --> 0:22:20.420 a king asked me to dance naked for all of 0:22:20.460 --> 0:22:23.560 his friends, of course I would do it. He's the king. 0:22:23.780 --> 0:22:27.659 He's literally the king. I mean, talk about exposure. No, exactly. 0:22:27.920 --> 0:22:29.619 I'm trying to make it in this fucking town. No, 0:22:29.740 --> 0:22:32.879 come on. And I'm not ashamed of my body. Literally. 0:22:33.540 --> 0:22:35.760 I'll show. I'll show the king. I'll show his friends. Whatever. 0:22:35.940 --> 0:22:37.060 This woman, what was her name again? 0:22:37.160 --> 0:22:38.000 Vashti? Vashti. 0:22:38.180 --> 0:22:41.310 Vashti, to me, seems so sex negative. 0:22:41.430 --> 0:22:42.150 Yeah. 0:22:42.530 --> 0:22:47.889 And isn't able to see how things like doing a 0:22:47.910 --> 0:22:50.869 kind of Dita Von T's strip tease can be empowering. Right. 0:22:51.210 --> 0:22:54.100 Well, is she sex negative or asexual? Or she wants 0:22:54.130 --> 0:22:56.820 to twerk alone? Well, it's just also like, she's being 0:22:56.859 --> 0:22:59.580 so unempathetic to the king. Like, it's so vulnerable to like, 0:22:59.619 --> 0:23:02.119 say what you want sexually. Right. And like, for her 0:23:02.140 --> 0:23:05.210 to just like, disregard that. Like, that like, really breaks 0:23:05.250 --> 0:23:06.130 my heart. 0:23:06.170 --> 0:23:08.230 And I think she could have responded in a more 0:23:08.250 --> 0:23:11.470 respectful way. She could have been like, Thank you for asking. 0:23:11.490 --> 0:23:13.510 I hear you. It's a no for. 0:23:13.410 --> 0:23:17.010 Me, but I'm happy to help you source a different 0:23:17.070 --> 0:23:17.649 nude dancer. 0:23:17.730 --> 0:23:19.390 Yeah. Well, so then they did source. 0:23:19.970 --> 0:23:20.090 Oh. 0:23:20.270 --> 0:23:24.649 And so there was a pageant and basically one of 0:23:24.770 --> 0:23:30.120 the guys working for the king, who was Esther's uncle, 0:23:30.260 --> 0:23:34.340 snuck the Jew, the Jewess, into the competition. She wins 0:23:34.359 --> 0:23:41.930 the competition. And this is Esther. Yes. Okay. Wow. And 0:23:42.070 --> 0:23:44.409 so it's like giving kind of Tyra. 0:23:44.430 --> 0:23:45.210 Right. 0:23:45.230 --> 0:23:47.440 It's giving Tyra. This is what Tyra is based off of. 0:23:47.480 --> 0:23:48.840 Tyra is based on the Bible. 0:23:49.540 --> 0:23:49.820 Yes. 0:23:50.119 --> 0:23:50.340 Okay. 0:23:50.380 --> 0:23:51.000 Old Testament. 0:23:51.040 --> 0:23:51.180 Yeah. 0:23:51.240 --> 0:23:55.179 Makes sense. Is this even in the Old Testament? Let 0:23:55.200 --> 0:23:56.120 me get back to you on that. 0:23:56.900 --> 0:23:58.220 Well, we have a team of researchers. 0:23:58.280 --> 0:24:04.100 Okay. Yep. Oh, they're coming in. Yeah. They come in later. 0:24:04.119 --> 0:24:05.520 I thought we were going to wait for that. Yeah. 0:24:05.540 --> 0:24:07.640 Well, they're at church services, but they're on their way. 0:24:07.900 --> 0:24:08.020 Oh. 0:24:08.040 --> 0:24:08.220 Yeah. 0:24:08.770 --> 0:24:09.869 Yeah, non-denominational. 0:24:10.130 --> 0:24:14.860 Oh, thank you. And yeah, so that's Esther. 0:24:15.340 --> 0:24:19.320 But I guess why, my question for you is, did 0:24:19.359 --> 0:24:24.159 you change your mind and meanwhile, we landed on Marley. 0:24:24.600 --> 0:24:26.380 So we kind of abandoned the Bible altogether. 0:24:26.740 --> 0:24:29.340 Well, that was my given middle name. 0:24:29.740 --> 0:24:30.400 Oh, okay. 0:24:31.320 --> 0:24:40.679 So that's fine with you now? I'm like, what if 0:24:40.760 --> 0:24:45.100 I chose it, huh? You'd roll your fucking eyes? Oh 0:24:45.200 --> 0:24:52.040 my God. Literally you both do not care about my gender. 0:24:54.260 --> 0:24:56.679 Oh my God. 0:24:57.200 --> 0:24:57.980 That's good. 0:24:58.680 --> 0:25:00.780 Can you show your socks for everyone watching at home? 0:25:01.420 --> 0:25:03.710 They are, each sock is a different South Park character. 0:25:03.750 --> 0:25:05.750 No, it's the same. Oh wait, is it the different? 0:25:05.770 --> 0:25:06.310 They're different. 0:25:06.410 --> 0:25:07.350 Oh, they're different. 0:25:07.690 --> 0:25:10.050 Oh yeah, so we got Kenny and we got Stan. 0:25:10.250 --> 0:25:12.869 Oh my God, amazing. So speaking of Jew and speaking 0:25:12.890 --> 0:25:17.650 of being silenced by gay guys. Because that's what happened 0:25:17.670 --> 0:25:18.090 to Kenny. 0:25:18.109 --> 0:25:22.869 So here's, I can't fact check that. 0:25:23.190 --> 0:25:27.960 Yeah, I don't remember that part. Should we do our 0:25:28.020 --> 0:25:29.300 first segment? I think it's time. 0:25:40.380 --> 0:25:42.459 So basically our first segment is called Straight Shooters and 0:25:42.500 --> 0:25:44.060 in this event we're going to ask you a series 0:25:44.100 --> 0:25:46.399 of rapid fire questions. It's basically this thing or this 0:25:46.460 --> 0:25:49.040 other thing to gauge your familiarity with and complicity in 0:25:49.060 --> 0:25:51.380 straight culture. The only rule is you can't ask any 0:25:51.420 --> 0:25:53.890 follow-up questions or we will get so upset. 0:25:55.369 --> 0:26:01.550 Um, George kick us off. Isabelle Goupere. or Isabel Mugler? 0:26:02.270 --> 0:26:07.670 Isabel Mugler. Mitch, I'm Madonna, or Mitch, I'm McConnell? Mitch, 0:26:07.830 --> 0:26:09.450 I'm McConnell, RIP. 0:26:15.640 --> 0:26:21.240 Employees must wash hands, or the nominees won at Cannes? 0:26:22.700 --> 0:26:25.660 The nominees won at Cannes. Sorry, there is a bug 0:26:25.720 --> 0:26:28.260 on my mic. No, that's supposed to be there. Should 0:26:28.300 --> 0:26:31.690 I lick it? Yeah. Can it see it? I don't 0:26:31.730 --> 0:26:36.590 see it. Can it see it? Can it see it? Whoa. Oh, 0:26:36.630 --> 0:26:39.830 it's alive. Oh my God. This is so America's Next 0:26:39.850 --> 0:26:40.390 Top Model. 0:26:41.109 --> 0:26:43.450 You know what you're being right now? Uma Thurman in 0:26:43.470 --> 0:26:44.150 Batman and Robin. 0:26:44.510 --> 0:26:50.090 Oh, literally. Uma Thurman in Batman and Robin or Uma 0:26:50.810 --> 0:26:56.740 Common in Tapping and- Land the plane. Okay, Marley. We crashed. 0:26:57.500 --> 0:27:00.270 A kidney from an organ donor- Or this pic of 0:27:00.310 --> 0:27:02.030 me is from Jorgen Teller. 0:27:05.609 --> 0:27:07.930 What was the first? Organ donor? A kidney from an 0:27:08.030 --> 0:27:08.370 organ donor. 0:27:08.390 --> 0:27:10.150 First of all, you asked a follow-up question, so points 0:27:10.190 --> 0:27:11.840 are being deducted, but you can answer now. 0:27:13.340 --> 0:27:14.639 A kidney from an organ donor. 0:27:15.140 --> 0:27:18.580 Being conventionally attractive or being sexually inactive? 0:27:18.960 --> 0:27:24.439 Being sexually inactive. Namaste or bombs away? Bombs away, of course. 0:27:25.090 --> 0:27:39.340 Billy Crudup or herpes flare-up? Herpes flare up. Oh my God. Triggered! 0:27:40.040 --> 0:27:42.460 Going to a matinee of Les Mis or drinking an 0:27:42.520 --> 0:27:44.540 IPA that tastes like Piz? 0:27:44.560 --> 0:27:49.000 Drinking an IPA that tastes like Piz. Wow. 0:27:49.540 --> 0:27:50.020 Ew. 0:27:50.680 --> 0:27:57.899 You guys are rotten and amazing. So another guy. 0:27:57.950 --> 0:28:00.730 We rank our guests on a scale of zero to 0:28:00.730 --> 0:28:01.070 1,000 doves. 0:28:02.670 --> 0:28:06.190 Based on Lady Gaga's song, 1,000 doves. Am I ranking? 0:28:06.210 --> 0:28:06.270 No. 0:28:07.150 --> 0:28:11.940 You're being ranked. Okay. So shut it. 0:28:14.780 --> 0:28:18.260 I think your score. 0:28:20.440 --> 0:28:22.440 Is? I'm going to go ahead and say 997 doves. 0:28:22.440 --> 0:28:22.500 97. 0:28:22.480 --> 0:28:23.460 Congratulations, Marley. Really? 0:28:23.480 --> 0:28:23.560 Yeah. 0:28:26.830 --> 0:28:28.649 I thought y'all were gonna put me out one or two. 0:28:28.670 --> 0:28:31.750 I think you really saved it when you did that 0:28:31.850 --> 0:28:38.150 one long note. Right. That was hard. I should have 0:28:38.170 --> 0:28:40.050 went up there with it. And you know gay guys. 0:28:40.970 --> 0:28:42.350 We love one long note. You love a note. Yeah, 0:28:42.370 --> 0:28:44.250 we love a note. I could have went longer. 0:28:44.350 --> 0:28:46.070 You know what could have gotten you to a thousand? 0:28:46.310 --> 0:28:55.440 What? Key change. Yeah. I'm triggered, herpes flare up. 0:28:57.310 --> 0:28:59.250 It hurts. 0:28:59.290 --> 0:29:01.890 Now you're being like Christina Aguilera showing off too much. 0:29:02.310 --> 0:29:03.910 It's not, it's no longer. 0:29:05.600 --> 0:29:13.300 Organic. We'll see what the folks at home think. So Marley. Yeah. 0:29:15.250 --> 0:29:18.250 Do you want to take a nap really quick or? Literally, 0:29:18.430 --> 0:29:22.740 you have no idea. Cortado, let's pour Celsius in that Cortado. 0:29:22.760 --> 0:29:24.980 Can we go to the Celsius fridge and pour? 0:29:25.040 --> 0:29:28.140 What is your straight topic today? And what is straight 0:29:28.180 --> 0:29:28.530 about it? 0:29:29.200 --> 0:29:38.170 My straight topic is veneers. Veneers. I'm really happy you 0:29:38.190 --> 0:29:39.970 brought this to us. We have never spoken about veneers. 0:29:40.210 --> 0:29:42.130 It's one of those things that I'm actually shocked has 0:29:42.170 --> 0:29:42.760 never come up. 0:29:42.950 --> 0:29:44.950 Yeah. Well, with my LA journey, of course. Yes. 0:29:45.020 --> 0:29:47.500 Well, and Sam has really, really. 0:29:47.600 --> 0:29:50.260 All fake teeth. All fake teeth. Oh, really? No, JK, 0:29:50.280 --> 0:29:53.420 of course. Okay. Well, he has a fake. One fake? 0:29:53.700 --> 0:29:54.760 Just a fake personality. 0:29:54.820 --> 0:30:00.240 He has anus dentata. He has veneers on his asshole. 0:30:00.660 --> 0:30:00.920 Yeah. 0:30:01.260 --> 0:30:01.440 Oh. 0:30:01.460 --> 0:30:02.100 Yeah, Chomp Chomp. Chomp Chomp. 0:30:02.140 --> 0:30:06.260 Like Teeth the movie. Gagged you. 0:30:06.280 --> 0:30:08.960 Update the score. 0:30:08.980 --> 0:30:11.850 Two to five? Yeah, it's two to four. Yeah, I 0:30:11.870 --> 0:30:14.229 probably got one at some point. You got one in there, yeah. Well, 0:30:14.250 --> 0:30:15.850 your key change was a gag. Was that a gag? 0:30:15.870 --> 0:30:17.790 You know, we're going to give it to you. 0:30:17.870 --> 0:30:20.450 You honestly were going to subtract a gag. We're going 0:30:20.490 --> 0:30:23.810 to give it to you because you're looking for housing. 0:30:24.350 --> 0:30:27.390 We're throwing you a bone. You're throwing me a key. Okay. 0:30:28.170 --> 0:30:32.110 Um... So tell us what's straight about veneers. 0:30:32.710 --> 0:30:40.110 Well, see, it goes into another idea where it is. 0:30:40.130 --> 0:30:42.930 I can't wait. 0:30:43.030 --> 0:30:45.150 I'm not going to say it. Why are you censoring yourself? 0:30:45.190 --> 0:30:46.400 Don't undercut your point. 0:30:46.540 --> 0:30:50.000 Okay. I think you've got this. Be confident. As you know, 0:30:50.280 --> 0:30:53.160 as two gay guys know, one or two of you 0:30:53.180 --> 0:30:56.720 are in open relationships. I'm sure you have had a 0:30:56.920 --> 0:31:04.340 hookup where somebody is on... methamphetamines, who is maybe DL. 0:31:04.880 --> 0:31:05.140 Sure. 0:31:05.680 --> 0:31:09.080 And so when they get sober, teeth get bad, they 0:31:09.120 --> 0:31:14.080 get veneers. Oh, it's all connected. Yes. And so they're 0:31:14.180 --> 0:31:17.550 cross-dressing as well because that's what meth does because they 0:31:17.590 --> 0:31:20.470 get the dopamine so high that they need to feel something. 0:31:20.510 --> 0:31:24.240 So they cross-dress. And then when they get sober, their 0:31:24.300 --> 0:31:26.200 teeth are rotten. So they get veneers. 0:31:26.240 --> 0:31:28.720 But I guess my question, Marley, is like everything you're 0:31:28.740 --> 0:31:31.870 describing feels very LGBTQ plus rather than straight. 0:31:33.030 --> 0:31:34.750 I love the theory, of course. This is a podcast 0:31:34.790 --> 0:31:38.150 about straight culture. Right. But it's like, so would you 0:31:38.190 --> 0:31:41.290 say somebody who's like DL or somebody who says I 0:31:41.670 --> 0:31:45.520 am straight? Would you say that they're not straight? 0:31:46.320 --> 0:31:48.020 I would say kind of they're not straight if they're 0:31:48.040 --> 0:31:51.010 hooking up with... guys on DL and if they're like. 0:31:51.030 --> 0:31:54.450 Well, that was only when they were addicts. Only the meth. 0:31:54.550 --> 0:31:55.510 The meth made them gay. 0:31:55.570 --> 0:31:55.950 Yes. 0:31:56.270 --> 0:31:59.570 Oh, when they're sober they're straight. Buy on Coke. Have 0:31:59.590 --> 0:32:02.850 you never heard this before? Okay, so you're saying- Am 0:32:02.870 --> 0:32:06.840 I crazy? Everyone's looking at me like I'm crazy. Welcome 0:32:06.860 --> 0:32:09.860 to Midtown, babe. Buy on Coke? 0:32:09.900 --> 0:32:10.260 What? 0:32:11.020 --> 0:32:13.700 That's the most common thing in my life right now. 0:32:13.720 --> 0:32:16.420 I have never heard this in my life. Okay. No, no, no. 0:32:17.420 --> 0:32:18.600 You've heard buy on Coke? 0:32:18.720 --> 0:32:22.220 Yes, I have heard it, but I didn't think that's 0:32:22.260 --> 0:32:22.640 what you. 0:32:22.560 --> 0:32:26.450 Were referring to. Yeah, when I say veneers, I mean 0:32:26.490 --> 0:32:27.190 buy on Coke. 0:32:28.050 --> 0:32:30.469 So this is, I want to say, I had no 0:32:30.530 --> 0:32:33.770 idea that when they stopped, the DL guys on meth 0:32:33.790 --> 0:32:35.630 stopped doing meth, they aren't DL anymore. 0:32:35.750 --> 0:32:37.990 Yeah, so you're saying when the meth stops, they become 0:32:38.040 --> 0:32:39.120 straight and they get veneers. 0:32:39.720 --> 0:32:42.900 Right, I think it's either they got caught and they 0:32:43.030 --> 0:32:45.810 wanna keep their families, and so they get veneers to 0:32:45.870 --> 0:32:52.630 cover up their sins. Yeah, there's actually not another option. 0:32:53.030 --> 0:32:56.410 So basically what you're saying is, veneers are a path 0:32:56.470 --> 0:33:00.130 towards respectability, and that is sort of like the crux 0:33:00.170 --> 0:33:00.950 of what's straight about it. 0:33:00.970 --> 0:33:04.330 Yeah, real LGBTQs stay on the meth and don't get veneers. 0:33:05.330 --> 0:33:08.850 It's nice we keep going back to meth. Did they 0:33:08.870 --> 0:33:10.290 have veneers. 0:33:09.990 --> 0:33:11.850 In, let's say, London? 0:33:13.500 --> 0:33:15.300 Well, famously, no. 0:33:16.060 --> 0:33:18.160 Right. But they do now. I mean, every drag queen on- 0:33:18.200 --> 0:33:19.970 But I'm like, culturally, I feel like it's like we 0:33:20.090 --> 0:33:23.350 are in the era of veneers. Yeah, it's true. So 0:33:23.370 --> 0:33:26.490 I'm like, has that gone across the pond? You know 0:33:26.510 --> 0:33:27.670 what's interesting? Or is that just at home? 0:33:27.690 --> 0:33:31.570 You're thinking, to you, veneers are mostly kind of meth-based. 0:33:32.270 --> 0:33:34.870 And whereas to me, when I think veneers, I think like. 0:33:36.170 --> 0:33:36.710 Hilary Duff. 0:33:36.930 --> 0:33:40.440 Like, I think like a woman celebrity. Miley Cyrus. 0:33:40.480 --> 0:33:41.160 Yeah, sorry. 0:33:41.320 --> 0:33:45.340 I think of like, a straight woman celebrity who's like, 0:33:45.520 --> 0:33:49.460 and rebranded. And then she smiles and it's- Right. 0:33:49.540 --> 0:33:51.320 It's like the Ozempic of the teeth. 0:33:51.360 --> 0:33:52.459 It's a Meghan Trainor. 0:33:52.500 --> 0:33:55.370 Yes, I think, sorry. I was being misogynistic and only 0:33:55.380 --> 0:33:58.930 thinking about men. And thank you for grounding me to 0:33:58.950 --> 0:34:01.310 think about women. And that is definitely true. 0:34:01.390 --> 0:34:06.490 So often people are only commenting on men's appearance. And 0:34:06.850 --> 0:34:09.509 it falls on me to say, have you considered this 0:34:09.630 --> 0:34:11.129 woman also looks busted as hell? 0:34:11.350 --> 0:34:15.810 Yeah. who's trying to look really beautiful and spending money 0:34:15.870 --> 0:34:16.890 to look really beautiful. 0:34:16.950 --> 0:34:17.790 Isn't she pathetic? 0:34:19.950 --> 0:34:24.100 The Ozempic of the teeth. That's really beautiful and really true. 0:34:24.560 --> 0:34:26.460 Should it be the title? 0:34:27.200 --> 0:34:36.060 We don't do that. No title, untitled. Episode 548, untitled. 0:34:36.200 --> 0:34:38.400 What do you. 0:34:38.360 --> 0:34:43.339 Think of artworks that are called untitled parentheses? you know, 0:34:44.440 --> 0:34:48.100 Josh's aura. It's like just titled. 0:34:48.180 --> 0:34:52.219 Or have some balls and leave it untitled. I'd rather 0:34:52.260 --> 0:34:57.700 you Olivia Rodrigo and make it 15 words than say untitled. Parentheses, 0:34:57.980 --> 0:35:01.870 sitting nude. I know, it shouldn't be parentheses. Like why 0:35:01.910 --> 0:35:07.210 can't there be like untitled asterisk, like coughing fit? Well, 0:35:07.230 --> 0:35:11.489 there can. If you will it. Right, but I mean, like, 0:35:11.690 --> 0:35:15.110 why are we stuck on a parenthesis? Oh, I see, 0:35:15.150 --> 0:35:17.589 I see, I see. Like, I'm thinking, like, why don't 0:35:17.630 --> 0:35:19.650 we go M- in title? 0:35:20.550 --> 0:35:22.240 Do you think parentheses are gay or straight? 0:35:24.600 --> 0:35:29.080 I would say they're gay because they're hiding something and they're, like, 0:35:29.120 --> 0:35:34.180 kind of closeting themselves and silencing themselves, where it's, like, it's, like, 0:35:34.219 --> 0:35:38.270 kind of, like, yeah, like, I'm having, like, you know... 0:35:39.469 --> 0:35:43.480 with our relationship, LMAO. It's like you're doing the, you're 0:35:43.540 --> 0:35:48.080 putting it on the end because you're nervous to really 0:35:48.400 --> 0:35:52.439 share how you feel. But maybe that could also be 0:35:52.560 --> 0:35:55.140 Hilary Duff with veneers. I don't know, she could do 0:35:55.160 --> 0:35:55.710 that as well. 0:35:55.750 --> 0:36:00.230 Well, veneers, one thing that's obviously weird about them is 0:36:00.430 --> 0:36:03.550 the closetedness of your teeth are ground down into little spikes. 0:36:04.110 --> 0:36:07.340 And I'm like, well, that's crazy. Crazy. Well, that's cool 0:36:07.380 --> 0:36:09.520 to me. That's cool, but it's like- That should be 0:36:09.540 --> 0:36:11.660 in the norm. Can you tell me Hilary Duff is 0:36:11.719 --> 0:36:13.890 grinding her teeth down a little spike? She doesn't have teeth. 0:36:14.260 --> 0:36:17.990 That's crazy. That's crazy. One of our nation's most successful women. 0:36:19.250 --> 0:36:20.989 You would call her that? 0:36:21.530 --> 0:36:24.270 Yes, I think it goes her, then Kamala Harris. 0:36:24.590 --> 0:36:25.150 Okay. 0:36:25.370 --> 0:36:26.490 And then. 0:36:28.010 --> 0:36:28.930 Marley Goddard. 0:36:28.950 --> 0:36:30.169 Marley Goddard. Right. 0:36:31.270 --> 0:36:32.910 Yeah, end of list. All right, great. 0:36:32.950 --> 0:36:33.089 Yeah. 0:36:33.380 --> 0:36:37.799 Top three. And I am announcing my run for president 0:36:38.300 --> 0:36:42.180 of the United States of America. And my first bill, 0:36:43.140 --> 0:36:48.530 make everybody convert to Islam. Oh. Because love is love, 0:36:48.910 --> 0:36:54.770 is love, is love, Islam. And my second bill, give 0:36:55.030 --> 0:37:00.200 all women $ 1 million immediately. I think that could work. 0:37:00.219 --> 0:37:00.419 Yeah. 0:37:00.460 --> 0:37:01.859 How would you fund that though? Where would the money 0:37:01.880 --> 0:37:02.200 come from? 0:37:02.660 --> 0:37:07.080 Hmm, how much do you get for this podcast? Not that. 0:37:07.739 --> 0:37:10.860 We can definitely contribute, but it's not gonna be one million. 0:37:10.880 --> 0:37:15.279 Defund iHeartRadio. And give it to women. Why don't I 0:37:15.320 --> 0:37:23.570 have a podcast? Switch seats. I mean, obviously we are implicated. 0:37:23.610 --> 0:37:26.069 I don't want iHeart to be defunded because that's where 0:37:26.110 --> 0:37:28.170 my money comes from. But I think if I was 0:37:28.230 --> 0:37:30.050 not implicated, I would probably be supporting. 0:37:30.650 --> 0:37:31.410 Your campaign. 0:37:31.430 --> 0:37:33.229 Thank you. I mean, the moment this podcast is gone 0:37:33.270 --> 0:37:35.910 from us, we are supporting you fully. But until then, 0:37:36.090 --> 0:37:36.940 we have to go on. 0:37:36.930 --> 0:37:39.880 The other side. Okay. Yeah. I don't need your support 0:37:39.900 --> 0:37:40.140 right now. 0:37:40.200 --> 0:37:41.680 No, I think you probably do. 0:37:41.700 --> 0:37:45.900 Okay, fire these two. We have a pretty large platform. Right. 0:37:46.200 --> 0:37:48.000 Especially audio. 0:37:48.450 --> 0:37:50.330 Audio only. 0:37:50.390 --> 0:37:52.870 If you want to run kind of an audio-based presidential campaign, 0:37:53.030 --> 0:37:53.690 we're your girls. 0:37:53.750 --> 0:37:56.230 So don't you want me to get Christina Aguilera with it? 0:37:56.830 --> 0:37:57.689 If it's just audio? 0:37:57.770 --> 0:37:58.950 Oh, I see what you're saying. 0:37:58.969 --> 0:38:01.100 Yeah, that's interesting. You're saying that she's ugly? 0:38:01.120 --> 0:38:01.920 Yeah. 0:38:02.080 --> 0:38:03.480 You think she should get veneers? 0:38:03.540 --> 0:38:06.180 She shouldn't be on camera? I'm saying she's one. 0:38:06.140 --> 0:38:07.520 Of our nation's most successful women. 0:38:07.540 --> 0:38:09.400 I think she's bi on coke. 0:38:09.420 --> 0:38:13.080 She's number four. She's bi on coke. Honey, I think 0:38:13.100 --> 0:38:14.020 she's bi without coke. 0:38:15.719 --> 0:38:17.560 Do you think we're going to have a Christina Aguilera 0:38:17.580 --> 0:38:21.920 documentary soon that makes us think really differently about her? Actually, 0:38:21.960 --> 0:38:24.660 she's the biggest genius on earth. And she just has 0:38:24.680 --> 0:38:26.640 been not contextualized properly. 0:38:26.760 --> 0:38:28.920 Wait, you don't feel that she is the biggest genius 0:38:28.960 --> 0:38:29.739 on Earth right now? 0:38:29.940 --> 0:38:32.129 I think the big thing that happened with Christina Aguilera 0:38:32.270 --> 0:38:36.109 is that during the Madonna performance, they cut away from 0:38:36.150 --> 0:38:37.569 when Madonna kissed her on the lips. 0:38:37.750 --> 0:38:38.069 Oh, yeah. 0:38:38.170 --> 0:38:40.050 And at that point, it's like, she's never going to 0:38:40.090 --> 0:38:40.850 bounce back from that. 0:38:40.930 --> 0:38:44.379 She never bounced back. And also, it's so unlucky for her. 0:38:44.560 --> 0:38:46.460 It's just not fair. That she was in a brunette 0:38:46.520 --> 0:38:50.080 era during that performance. Can you imagine? She's not meant 0:38:50.100 --> 0:38:52.500 to be a brunette. I can imagine what it's like 0:38:52.520 --> 0:38:57.220 to be a brunette, yeah. And can I say something? Yeah, please. 0:38:57.540 --> 0:38:58.560 I'm not a Madonna head. 0:38:58.580 --> 0:38:58.660 What? 0:38:58.820 --> 0:39:00.430 That's not something you should be. 0:39:00.469 --> 0:39:01.290 But you just. 0:39:01.170 --> 0:39:02.210 Don't know yet. You shouldn't say that. 0:39:02.250 --> 0:39:03.090 Madonna is mid. 0:39:03.110 --> 0:39:03.290 No. 0:39:03.330 --> 0:39:08.570 Madonna is mid. Don't say stuff like this. Madonna is mid. What, what? 0:39:08.650 --> 0:39:10.989 Madonna is mid. You are Marley. You are ruining your 0:39:11.010 --> 0:39:15.200 presidential campaign. Madonna is mid. Vote for Marley. Madonna is mid. 0:39:15.239 --> 0:39:16.800 Vote for Marley. Did you say Mom Donny? 0:39:17.000 --> 0:39:18.700 Mom Donny. 0:39:19.260 --> 0:39:20.260 Mom Donny is mid? 0:39:20.320 --> 0:39:21.480 Mom Donny is not mid. 0:39:21.739 --> 0:39:22.200 Okay. 0:39:27.860 --> 0:39:29.969 Can you, I actually don't even, someone at my book, 0:39:30.020 --> 0:39:31.900 party last night, at my Madonna-themed party, who. 0:39:31.940 --> 0:39:33.219 By the way, was not invited. Mamdani-themed party? 0:39:33.260 --> 0:39:37.620 At my Mamdani-themed party, came up to me and he said, 0:39:37.640 --> 0:39:38.980 you know, I don't really like Madonna. 0:39:39.080 --> 0:39:40.400 You know what? The same person might have said this 0:39:40.440 --> 0:39:42.879 to me. Yes, the one who wasn't invited. A gay guy? Oh, 0:39:42.960 --> 0:39:45.480 a different guy. Mine wasn't invited. Who said it to you? 0:39:46.160 --> 0:39:49.780 You can tell me. No, it's my talk show. 0:39:49.820 --> 0:39:52.000 Mine was the one that you were talking about who's 0:39:52.040 --> 0:39:53.160 in Rob's circle in LA. 0:39:53.920 --> 0:39:54.520 Oh, really? 0:39:54.560 --> 0:39:56.500 Yeah, he said, I don't like Madonna. I said, don't 0:39:56.580 --> 0:39:58.060 say that to me when you're at my party uninvited 0:39:58.080 --> 0:39:59.020 and my party's Madonna themed. 0:39:59.200 --> 0:40:00.239 See, that's why I waited till today. 0:40:00.260 --> 0:40:02.440 Say happy birthday and thank you for coming. 0:40:02.620 --> 0:40:03.720 And thank you for curating Madonna. 0:40:03.780 --> 0:40:05.020 And thank you for curating Madonna. 0:40:05.140 --> 0:40:11.210 Right. Mine was Josh Sharp. That is not okay. I 0:40:11.510 --> 0:40:14.960 was blown away. That sissy faggot doesn't like Madonna? Literally. 0:40:14.980 --> 0:40:16.700 You wake up in the morning, you look in the mirror, 0:40:16.719 --> 0:40:19.370 you are Josh Sharpe, and with a straight face you're saying, 0:40:19.450 --> 0:40:20.250 I don't like Madonna. 0:40:22.239 --> 0:40:25.440 Who's that for? Who's that for? I don't know. I 0:40:25.460 --> 0:40:27.480 feel like if Madonna had like a cane and a 0:40:27.540 --> 0:40:29.960 top hat, Josh Sharp would be loving it. She has 0:40:30.060 --> 0:40:32.060 a cane and a top hat and she had it 0:40:32.440 --> 0:40:36.260 at the performance we just talked about. She literally did. 0:40:36.280 --> 0:40:38.089 She did. She has had a cane and a top 0:40:38.130 --> 0:40:40.469 hat many times. This girl will wear a bowler like 0:40:40.510 --> 0:40:41.489 nobody else. She. 0:40:42.210 --> 0:40:42.890 She has done. 0:40:43.350 --> 0:40:47.250 She ran through every possible look so fast, so fast 0:40:47.270 --> 0:40:49.689 that she had to then wear grills. She has done that. 0:40:50.050 --> 0:40:52.860 I mean, just her hat alone. She's worn every hat 0:40:52.989 --> 0:40:55.600 you can imagine. You know what? Itchy, itchy, I got it. 0:40:55.719 --> 0:40:56.899 Look at her. 0:40:56.920 --> 0:41:00.290 We're getting visual confirmation that she has worn a hat. 0:41:00.320 --> 0:41:02.739 She's actually ate there. I'm sorry, where do you get off? 0:41:03.219 --> 0:41:03.480 Literally. 0:41:03.500 --> 0:41:05.000 Saying that you don't like Madonna? 0:41:05.040 --> 0:41:05.600 In my bed. 0:41:05.620 --> 0:41:09.710 So who's your girl? With DL guys. DL myth. That's 0:41:09.730 --> 0:41:12.000 where I get off. Wow. Okay, cool. Wait, what are 0:41:12.020 --> 0:41:15.200 you saying? Who's your girl, if not Madonna? Who do 0:41:15.239 --> 0:41:18.360 you love? Who's your favorite pop diva? See how we 0:41:18.380 --> 0:41:20.800 brought it back? Well, and I can't say myself? 0:41:21.860 --> 0:41:22.220 No. 0:41:22.239 --> 0:41:26.360 Okay. I'm sorry, where's the album? The album's out. The video's... 0:41:26.380 --> 0:41:34.070 And another album's being made. Stream it. Gagged. My pop 0:41:34.110 --> 0:41:35.710 diva is. 0:41:38.680 --> 0:41:41.960 Hmm. Can I look at my phone? 0:41:42.200 --> 0:41:43.640 No, absolutely not. 0:41:44.000 --> 0:41:48.460 I ask AI. Who is my pop diva? 0:41:48.480 --> 0:41:52.299 Who is Marlee Gotterer's pop diva? 0:41:52.320 --> 0:41:55.140 I would say my pop diva. 0:42:07.860 --> 0:42:09.040 Does a cross-dresser count? 0:42:09.880 --> 0:42:14.600 If she sings? The issue isn't whether or not she's 0:42:14.640 --> 0:42:21.660 a cross-dresser. Yeah, is it like a DL guy? Does 0:42:21.680 --> 0:42:23.910 it count if she's Latina? It's like, yeah, but she 0:42:23.950 --> 0:42:24.890 has to be a pop singer. 0:42:25.250 --> 0:42:27.610 Right. I was thinking Mr. G. 0:42:27.630 --> 0:42:29.270 Huh? 0:42:29.950 --> 0:42:32.070 Who? Chris Lillies? Mr. G? 0:42:32.370 --> 0:42:33.690 Oh, like from the TV show? 0:42:33.750 --> 0:42:35.989 Yeah, Summer Heights High. Summer Heights High. 0:42:36.610 --> 0:42:36.670 Oh. 0:42:36.680 --> 0:42:42.580 That's your... That's my pop diva. Okay, period. End of episode. Goodbye. 0:42:44.400 --> 0:42:48.390 Y'all are pissed at me. We asked you a simple question. 0:42:48.640 --> 0:42:50.830 Who's your pop diva? Okay, here's, can I, I'll name 0:42:50.870 --> 0:42:52.770 some people that I love. You're literally being like Ronald Reagan. 0:42:52.790 --> 0:42:56.610 I'm like, so... I didn't say that, but that's a 0:42:56.630 --> 0:43:00.569 good answer. No, he is mother. Bring him back. He's 0:43:00.610 --> 0:43:05.799 mother for real. Mother! Mother alert! He's chatting mother toilet. 0:43:05.820 --> 0:43:11.850 Are we going to die of AIDS tonight? Faggots. All right. Gagged. 0:43:12.170 --> 0:43:14.950 Half gag. Half gagged. Okay. Kalela. Love her. 0:43:14.969 --> 0:43:15.430 We're huge. 0:43:16.050 --> 0:43:18.850 That's the pop diva from start to finish. Okay. You 0:43:18.870 --> 0:43:21.390 know what, Marley? You have read. That's like an everyday 0:43:21.469 --> 0:43:26.380 listen to me nonstop all day. Love her. Hyper fixation. Yeah. 0:43:26.980 --> 0:43:32.190 End of story. Ugh. So that's my truth, is that, 0:43:32.390 --> 0:43:36.540 and I would say Beyonce as well, but I don't 0:43:36.660 --> 0:43:39.700 know if that's as true for me right now. I know, 0:43:39.760 --> 0:43:43.100 we're in a complicated era. Like, it's a really hard time. 0:43:43.180 --> 0:43:45.260 I'm needing some vulnerability. And that's why I'm actually happy 0:43:45.320 --> 0:43:48.209 for you that Madonna is here. Like, it is, because 0:43:48.250 --> 0:43:50.810 it is a hard time for pop divas. Yeah, we 0:43:50.850 --> 0:43:56.319 need it. Because they're literally being, they're being... they're almost disappearing. 0:43:56.560 --> 0:43:59.190 I'm just saying like we are losing them. No, I know. 0:43:59.200 --> 0:44:04.170 Like physically. Do you think with Ozempic and veneers, at 0:44:04.210 --> 0:44:06.330 some point they're just going to be big teeth? Yeah, 0:44:06.350 --> 0:44:09.710 big teeth, no body. No, I think fat bitches are 0:44:09.730 --> 0:44:11.910 going to come back. Really? Yeah, we're going to have 0:44:11.989 --> 0:44:14.450 big titties, big ass once again. 0:44:14.950 --> 0:44:18.770 But you know the person who popularized what you're describing, Lizzo, 0:44:20.070 --> 0:44:21.549 is flopping harder than ever. 0:44:21.570 --> 0:44:26.779 Lizzo popularized fat bitches? Yes. Didn't she like, she was 0:44:26.840 --> 0:44:32.200 famous like 2020. That's really recent. Okay. But I mean 0:44:32.219 --> 0:44:34.240 like what, there's history. 0:44:34.260 --> 0:44:36.569 Name one other fat pop star. 0:44:39.010 --> 0:44:40.130 We're talking about pop stars? 0:44:40.190 --> 0:44:43.030 We're talking about pop stars. 0:44:43.070 --> 0:44:45.970 So Lizzo is skinny now is what you're saying? No, 0:44:46.150 --> 0:44:50.520 she's just over. She's just over. She's over. She's flop. 0:44:51.180 --> 0:44:55.250 Because they're not giving her the budget. No, I think 0:44:55.290 --> 0:44:58.830 because she's, she lost her way. She harassed her employees. 0:44:59.070 --> 0:45:00.589 I don't care about that. 0:45:00.630 --> 0:45:01.450 She harassed. 0:45:01.489 --> 0:45:01.710 I do. 0:45:01.890 --> 0:45:02.770 They were my friends. 0:45:03.090 --> 0:45:04.130 Her employees were your friends? 0:45:04.150 --> 0:45:04.290 Yes. 0:45:05.150 --> 0:45:06.489 Wait, what about Grace Kuhn Schmidt? 0:45:06.630 --> 0:45:09.270 Is that not the comedian that posted about you looking 0:45:09.290 --> 0:45:09.729 for housing? 0:45:09.770 --> 0:45:12.690 No, no, no, no, no. That was, but I love her. 0:45:12.710 --> 0:45:14.770 It's one of my dear friends. Well, of course. Very funny. 0:45:14.890 --> 0:45:19.190 She should be like the president. You're saying she isn't? 0:45:20.170 --> 0:45:24.629 She is the president. We have the same birthday. Really? 0:45:25.170 --> 0:45:29.549 What time and day? June 30th. Cancer? Yes. Or both cancers. 0:45:29.680 --> 0:45:30.259 What are you? 0:45:30.969 --> 0:45:33.299 Well, you know I'm a Cancer Moon, Cancer Venus. I 0:45:33.360 --> 0:45:36.660 did not know that. What if I did? What if 0:45:36.680 --> 0:45:42.120 that's why you're booked? Because you know I'm an emotional baddie, George. 0:45:43.460 --> 0:45:44.200 Can I say something? 0:45:44.540 --> 0:45:45.990 I struggle with when people say. 0:45:48.650 --> 0:45:49.469 Baddie to me. 0:45:49.530 --> 0:45:52.160 And especially white people. And I'm not trying to be. 0:45:52.480 --> 0:45:53.319 No, call me out. 0:45:53.980 --> 0:45:55.950 I'm not trying to be a girl who's too woke. 0:45:56.650 --> 0:45:58.430 But when a white person says baddie to me, I 0:45:58.530 --> 0:46:03.180 don't like that. Well, and it's happening more and more. 0:46:03.340 --> 0:46:03.540 Yeah. 0:46:03.580 --> 0:46:05.520 And it's not your fault. It's not your fault. You're 0:46:05.560 --> 0:46:07.740 just like repeating what you're hearing. No, it is my fault. 0:46:08.560 --> 0:46:11.480 It's clearly my fault. You're kind of like parroting what's happening. 0:46:11.980 --> 0:46:15.650 I'm a parrot. I'm a bird. I'm a fucking bird. 0:46:15.730 --> 0:46:19.330 That's all I'm good for. Bird bitch. Bird ass bitch. Oh, 0:46:19.410 --> 0:46:22.930 now I'm a bitch because I'm a woman? Bird ass bitch. Oh, 0:46:23.010 --> 0:46:27.590 saying ass after a word? Well. Oh, huh. That's interesting. 0:46:27.610 --> 0:46:29.040 And where do y'all get your words from? 0:46:29.630 --> 0:46:30.310 Oh, books. 0:46:30.630 --> 0:46:32.009 Yeah, we read a lot of books. 0:46:32.030 --> 0:46:32.530 Oh, nice. 0:46:32.690 --> 0:46:33.390 What are you reading? 0:46:33.950 --> 0:46:37.490 Mostly advanced reader copies of novels that are very literary. 0:46:37.850 --> 0:46:39.550 Yeah, stuff like that. And you? Same. 0:46:39.910 --> 0:46:40.210 Okay. 0:46:40.230 --> 0:46:41.300 Are you closing your ears? 0:46:41.450 --> 0:46:47.620 No, I'm listening actively. Yeah, no, I'm really caring. Oh, yeah. 0:46:48.060 --> 0:46:52.440 What cosmetic procedures are- Have I gotten? LGBTQ +. 0:46:52.360 --> 0:46:52.480 Oh. 0:46:53.160 --> 0:46:54.589 Yeah, so veneers are straight. 0:46:54.950 --> 0:46:58.760 Okay, I would say facial feminization surgery. Is LGBTQ +. 0:46:59.600 --> 0:47:02.580 Just because that can be covered by the state. 0:47:02.900 --> 0:47:05.110 But what about when, like, Kris Jenner does it? 0:47:06.340 --> 0:47:07.020 Caitlyn, you mean? 0:47:07.580 --> 0:47:08.700 No, I don't mean Caitlyn. 0:47:08.719 --> 0:47:12.739 Her name is Caitlyn. I don't mean Caitlyn. There was 0:47:12.760 --> 0:47:14.750 a day where I was legit confused. I was like, wait. 0:47:14.770 --> 0:47:18.530 No, I'm saying, like, what about when a cis woman 0:47:18.790 --> 0:47:20.290 essentially gets facial feminization? 0:47:20.310 --> 0:47:21.570 Right, that's gender affirming. 0:47:23.010 --> 0:47:25.650 But just because something is gender affirming, does that mean 0:47:25.670 --> 0:47:26.589 it's LGBTQ? 0:47:27.590 --> 0:47:30.850 I would say yes. Okay. Oh, well, okay, great. Yeah, 0:47:30.969 --> 0:47:34.250 I would say even your sister holding a cock in 0:47:34.310 --> 0:47:45.200 her hands, she's gay. Let that sit. Let that sit. 0:47:46.300 --> 0:47:51.440 Is Botox gay? You can answer. No, you should answer. 0:47:51.980 --> 0:47:56.890 You should answer, sorry. Okay. It's just hard because Botox 0:47:57.170 --> 0:48:00.279 is gender affirming as well, I believe, but I do 0:48:00.300 --> 0:48:07.840 think that's more straight. But I think it's co-opted. What about.... 0:48:09.160 --> 0:48:10.550 What are other common surgeries? 0:48:11.290 --> 0:48:17.150 Lip filler. That's straight. I can say confidently that's straight. Yeah. 0:48:17.710 --> 0:48:19.109 What about liposuction? 0:48:20.430 --> 0:48:20.680 Um.... 0:48:23.239 --> 0:48:27.060 Like, did they put the fat, did they put the 0:48:27.120 --> 0:48:29.120 lard other places or just, like, leave it out? Just 0:48:29.140 --> 0:48:30.380 put it in the trash, I think. Put it in 0:48:30.400 --> 0:48:34.569 the trash is straight. If they're recycling, it's gay. Oh, 0:48:34.590 --> 0:48:36.890 I see. Do you see that? I see that. I 0:48:36.910 --> 0:48:39.350 see that. Let's come on. What about a boob job? 0:48:40.050 --> 0:48:43.210 Boob job, I would say that's gay. Yeah, I agree. And, like, 0:48:43.230 --> 0:48:47.080 men who like women who have boob jobs, that's gay. 0:48:47.100 --> 0:48:48.439 That's a buy on coke. 0:48:49.120 --> 0:48:53.460 I think boob job was straight in the 90s. Like 0:48:53.500 --> 0:48:57.779 Pamela Anderson era, straight. Now it's like gay. 0:48:59.210 --> 0:48:59.710 Interesting. 0:49:00.989 --> 0:49:03.750 I love that. 0:49:03.969 --> 0:49:10.910 BBL. I would say, why are you asking me these 0:49:10.950 --> 0:49:11.810 questions by the way? 0:49:11.910 --> 0:49:13.469 Because your topic is veneers. 0:49:14.040 --> 0:49:15.440 And so that's straight. 0:49:15.460 --> 0:49:16.739 So now we're saying- Is. 0:49:16.660 --> 0:49:18.060 That surgery veneers? 0:49:18.920 --> 0:49:20.400 A lot of these things are in surgeries. I mean, 0:49:20.420 --> 0:49:21.549 the lip filler is in surgery. 0:49:21.930 --> 0:49:26.009 It's body modification. Right, body mod. What about gauges? 0:49:26.170 --> 0:49:27.830 If at any point you don't feel safe- Gauges? 0:49:28.710 --> 0:49:31.430 I didn't feel safe the second I walked in. But 0:49:31.450 --> 0:49:34.230 that's how I feel like what this episode has been. Yeah, 0:49:34.370 --> 0:49:37.480 it's very unsafe. It's precarious. No, you've been holding it. 0:49:37.510 --> 0:49:40.569 You've been keeping me safe. You kind of came in with, 0:49:41.050 --> 0:49:45.650 I'm tweaking, I haven't slept, but it's honestly fine because 0:49:45.690 --> 0:49:48.230 I saw you both last night and it was your birthday. 0:49:48.250 --> 0:49:50.160 And you, I said, I don't know if I said 0:49:50.200 --> 0:49:53.279 this on camera, but you were looking very sexy and 0:49:53.320 --> 0:49:57.419 you were dancing very well. Thank you. And so I 0:49:57.880 --> 0:49:59.839 know that that to be true. And so I know 0:49:59.880 --> 0:50:02.520 that whatever happens here kind of stays in this room 0:50:03.000 --> 0:50:08.150 with everybody that's on their phone right now watching. How 0:50:08.170 --> 0:50:11.890 much are y'all getting paid? I'm getting paid zero? Okay. 0:50:12.710 --> 0:50:17.100 How am I gonna get my BBL? Is that why 0:50:17.120 --> 0:50:18.940 you didn't want to answer whether BBL cares straight? 0:50:18.960 --> 0:50:21.380 Did you come to this podcast in hopes of funding 0:50:21.440 --> 0:50:24.260 a BBL? Because that would be one of the worst 0:50:24.300 --> 0:50:25.450 financial decisions. 0:50:26.969 --> 0:50:29.489 You know that I do not need a BBL. 0:50:29.690 --> 0:50:30.870 I would agree. 0:50:30.989 --> 0:50:33.109 Yeah. Who does need one? 0:50:33.410 --> 0:50:34.270 Yeah, name them. 0:50:36.390 --> 0:50:39.310 I don't think, honestly, anybody needs a BBL. I know. 0:50:39.390 --> 0:50:43.379 I really don't. I think that's, like, I hope that it's, like, 0:50:43.480 --> 0:50:47.070 people are getting fat and they have, like, flat fat asses, 0:50:47.290 --> 0:50:49.989 you know what I mean? Like I want that to 0:50:50.030 --> 0:50:51.799 be back in style too. 0:50:52.800 --> 0:50:55.720 When would you say flat asses were in style? 0:50:55.739 --> 0:50:59.940 Flat fat asses. Like the 70s? I honestly need you 0:50:59.960 --> 0:51:05.200 to draw a flat fat ass. Bring in the marker. 0:51:05.480 --> 0:51:07.239 Should I draw it on one of your backs? Yes. 0:51:07.820 --> 0:51:09.510 Let's just mark you both off. 0:51:09.520 --> 0:51:11.279 We should do a special Patreon-only episode where you do 0:51:11.320 --> 0:51:12.819 like what surgery we each need. 0:51:12.840 --> 0:51:15.200 Right, like I'll do like the dotted lines on your face. 0:51:15.219 --> 0:51:19.520 Problem areas. No, you're both so cute. Oh, stop it. 0:51:19.660 --> 0:51:23.300 Oh my gosh. Maybe webbed toes? We both have webbed toes. 0:51:23.410 --> 0:51:24.049 Oh, really? 0:51:24.070 --> 0:51:27.410 Yeah. That's how we met at a meeting. Cancers with 0:51:27.430 --> 0:51:29.009 webbed toes. Oh, nice. 0:51:29.070 --> 0:51:31.030 Gay cancers with webbed toes who are aspiring. 0:51:31.050 --> 0:51:32.260 Is that 12 step? It is. 0:51:33.310 --> 0:51:35.630 In fact, just one long step because. 0:51:35.450 --> 0:51:38.910 Of the toes. We're unable to go the full 12 steps. 0:51:39.430 --> 0:51:42.739 We're sort of like flap, flap, flapping. It's a 12 0:51:42.739 --> 0:51:49.100 waddle program. Okay. Any more body parts you want to 0:51:49.239 --> 0:51:54.480 ask me? If you could remove one. 0:51:55.520 --> 0:51:57.160 If you could remove one what? 0:51:57.219 --> 0:52:01.680 Limb? Limb. One limb. You could go right arm, left arm, right. 0:52:02.020 --> 0:52:04.560 Thank you for, because you know what I would have chosen. 0:52:04.580 --> 0:52:12.660 Thank you. I guess I would do, I think I'd 0:52:12.840 --> 0:52:14.160 eat up a left hook. 0:52:16.000 --> 0:52:17.779 I think that'd be really cool to just have a 0:52:17.820 --> 0:52:18.259 left hook. 0:52:18.700 --> 0:52:23.960 Yeah, like no arm hook. Oh, you would wear that one. Right. Yeah. 0:52:24.239 --> 0:52:29.589 And just like hooking, like hooking guy's collars. Yeah. She's 0:52:29.650 --> 0:52:31.910 hooking the tree. She's hooking the tree. She's hooking all 0:52:31.930 --> 0:52:32.670 the DL tree. 0:52:32.690 --> 0:52:32.890 Right. 0:52:32.969 --> 0:52:35.830 Imagine like I was like walking the block and I 0:52:35.850 --> 0:52:38.509 was just like a full hooker with a hook. Yeah. 0:52:38.550 --> 0:52:41.450 Hook out. That would be cool. Hooker with a hook. 0:52:41.760 --> 0:52:45.319 There's your TV show. I mean. We heard you were 0:52:45.340 --> 0:52:46.900 looking for parking. Does that mean you would drive a 0:52:46.960 --> 0:52:47.840 car in New York City? 0:52:48.080 --> 0:52:49.420 Oh, because you're coming from the camp. 0:52:49.600 --> 0:52:49.759 Yeah. 0:52:49.820 --> 0:52:54.480 Or going to the camp. Both. Well, I came down 0:52:54.500 --> 0:52:58.469 because I was on Watch What Happens Live. Stream it 0:52:58.510 --> 0:53:03.430 on Peacock. And then now I'm here. And then I'm 0:53:03.450 --> 0:53:07.550 going back up to teach these children drag. And so 0:53:07.680 --> 0:53:12.280 I will be leaving immediately, showing up, looking like this. 0:53:12.680 --> 0:53:14.760 And I'm also doing a blue they group class. 0:53:15.980 --> 0:53:18.160 Meaning like non-binary blue man group. 0:53:18.219 --> 0:53:22.080 Yeah, or just more gender expansive. So it's like drumming blue. Yeah, 0:53:22.140 --> 0:53:26.629 like paint drumming, kind of. I don't like saying that word, 0:53:26.730 --> 0:53:29.350 but burning in a way. But I said you could 0:53:29.370 --> 0:53:31.950 be any color. Like they could be anything. Oh, that's nice. 0:53:31.969 --> 0:53:36.110 Blue is, blue can be anything. 0:53:36.190 --> 0:53:41.390 Okay. Yeah, that's true. Well. Avatar? Wait, what? 0:53:41.570 --> 0:53:43.710 I'm just saying there is one color that would probably 0:53:43.750 --> 0:53:46.270 be like frowned upon if people showed up painted head 0:53:46.310 --> 0:53:46.589 to toe. 0:53:47.090 --> 0:53:48.709 That's a good point. Yeah. 0:53:49.010 --> 0:53:49.290 Hmm. 0:53:49.969 --> 0:53:50.330 I don't know. 0:53:50.390 --> 0:53:53.700 I'm not picking up what you're putting down. The listeners 0:53:53.760 --> 0:53:54.080 will know. 0:53:54.160 --> 0:53:54.960 The listeners will know. 0:53:55.239 --> 0:53:57.560 Okay. I think what you should do is you should 0:53:57.600 --> 0:53:58.260 say any. 0:53:58.120 --> 0:53:59.219 Color except one. 0:53:59.239 --> 0:54:00.940 Except one, maybe. Okay. 0:54:00.960 --> 0:54:03.990 And then, of course, you're setting them up for failure because, 0:54:04.010 --> 0:54:05.370 you know, they're teens, so they're going to want to 0:54:05.390 --> 0:54:07.969 do the thing they're told that they're not allowed to do. Suddenly, 0:54:08.090 --> 0:54:12.070 there's photo evidence of you leading a team of transgender 0:54:12.130 --> 0:54:18.530 autistic kids doing blackface. You want that on your conscience? 0:54:20.910 --> 0:54:24.730 We'll be right back. We don't do it like that, 0:54:24.790 --> 0:54:30.549 but that felt really amazing. Sorry, it's a pregnant, it's 0:54:30.590 --> 0:54:40.739 a millennial gag. And gags are right on back. Give 0:54:40.920 --> 0:54:43.819 a gag, leave a gag, get a gag? What is it? 0:54:43.840 --> 0:54:45.110 Give a girl a gag and she never gags a 0:54:45.110 --> 0:54:52.750 day in her life. I've heard that. I like that. So... 0:54:55.530 --> 0:55:00.930 Where do we go from here? Exactly. Clock it. So 0:55:00.950 --> 0:55:03.930 when you teach drag, what's the number one rule? 0:55:04.210 --> 0:55:06.450 Yeah. 0:55:10.890 --> 0:55:17.239 Express yourself. Oh, interesting, but you don't like Madonna. Where 0:55:17.260 --> 0:55:19.880 do you think that rule came from? So that's a 0:55:19.900 --> 0:55:28.719 Madonna tip. So Madonna created drag. Madonna created voguing. She 0:55:28.820 --> 0:55:33.360 created expression. Okay, okay. Wait, I'm learning. Again, I'm here 0:55:33.840 --> 0:55:36.800 to be held accountable. I just came to this planet. 0:55:37.960 --> 0:55:40.660 From Philadelphia. From suburban Philadelphia. 0:55:40.680 --> 0:55:44.810 It's very different. So I am learning and, okay, I 0:55:44.850 --> 0:55:49.589 would say, I feel like anything I say now, you're 0:55:49.610 --> 0:55:50.890 going to be like, Madonna? 0:55:50.930 --> 0:55:51.109 Madonna? 0:55:51.950 --> 0:55:52.549 Madonna? 0:55:52.870 --> 0:55:55.230 Yeah, you're like, I think my number one tip for 0:55:55.310 --> 0:55:58.370 drag is follow your ray of light. 0:55:59.910 --> 0:56:03.739 And don't get hung up on the details. Right. That 0:56:03.780 --> 0:56:06.480 means nothing to me. Hung up? Ray of light? 0:56:06.680 --> 0:56:09.100 Every little thing that you say I'm doing. 0:56:09.420 --> 0:56:14.830 I'm kidding. I'm kidding. So any tips that aren't Madonna based? Yeah, 0:56:14.890 --> 0:56:19.390 wear the tallest heel possible. Okay. You should be falling. 0:56:20.180 --> 0:56:23.800 I want you like your legs like quaking. 0:56:24.219 --> 0:56:26.450 Do you like pick favorites among your students? 0:56:26.750 --> 0:56:30.129 Yeah, there's one that was immediately like I've never done 0:56:30.230 --> 0:56:38.010 drag and I think my drag name should be Gnarly Twerk. Well, 0:56:38.030 --> 0:56:45.680 that's genius. And then come out to we are Charlie Kirk. Oh, wow. 0:56:46.420 --> 0:56:48.840 They must have such an interesting relationship to Charlie Kirk. 0:56:49.840 --> 0:56:52.310 They love him. I bet they love him. They literally 0:56:52.350 --> 0:56:53.930 love him. So you are leading a, speaking of gags. 0:56:53.969 --> 0:56:57.509 So these are edgelord trans autistic youths. 0:56:57.590 --> 0:56:59.270 Well, the edgelord kind of went without saying. I just 0:56:59.310 --> 0:57:01.330 hadn't thought about it. Well, they're not, I want to 0:57:01.370 --> 0:57:04.390 say they're not all trans. They're not all autistic. You're 0:57:04.450 --> 0:57:08.680 saying that. I do think you said it. I said 0:57:08.700 --> 0:57:10.759 a lot of them are. Okay, I see, I see, 0:57:10.780 --> 0:57:13.020 I see. But I want to say that there is, 0:57:13.260 --> 0:57:20.340 it's for LGBTQ +. It's for LGBTQ plus youth. Yes, yes. Oh, 0:57:20.360 --> 0:57:23.060 you're doing God's work. I literally am. You actually are. 0:57:23.300 --> 0:57:30.680 I'm fully creating an army of autistic, transgender, physically disabled, autistic. 0:57:30.700 --> 0:57:33.620 To go immediately for the military metaphor feels tone deaf. 0:57:33.800 --> 0:57:36.660 Also, just to say they aren't transgender and autistic and 0:57:36.680 --> 0:57:37.660 then say they all are. 0:57:37.700 --> 0:57:39.470 Yeah, it's like, are they or aren't they? I guess 0:57:39.510 --> 0:57:40.610 they will be when you're done with them. 0:57:44.290 --> 0:57:48.350 I found another bug on me. Oh, gag. Gag. Bug 0:57:48.370 --> 0:57:49.190 on me tsunami. 0:57:50.410 --> 0:57:50.730 Bug. 0:57:53.680 --> 0:57:58.860 So yeah, honestly, I am all for indoctrination and forced transitioning. Yeah. 0:57:58.980 --> 0:58:00.160 Oh my God, Marley. 0:58:01.540 --> 0:58:01.920 What? 0:58:02.380 --> 0:58:07.390 You don't agree? Are we not in agreement here about 0:58:07.450 --> 0:58:12.050 forced transitioning? I have come on the wrong podcast. If 0:58:12.090 --> 0:58:12.990 you could choose one. 0:58:13.410 --> 0:58:17.010 public figure to forcibly transition, and you can't say Donald Trump, 0:58:17.110 --> 0:58:17.630 who would it be? 0:58:21.220 --> 0:58:25.680 Andy Cohen? Probably Kanye? Oh, that's a really good answer. 0:58:25.740 --> 0:58:34.400 That's interesting. 0:58:35.890 --> 0:58:37.350 Should we do our final segment? 0:58:37.990 --> 0:58:38.910 Yeah, let's do it. 0:58:40.560 --> 0:58:44.120 So basically our final segment is called Shoutouts. And we 0:58:44.160 --> 0:58:46.860 shout out to anything that we are enjoying, people, places, things, ideas. 0:58:48.320 --> 0:58:50.220 We think of them on the spot and we will 0:58:50.300 --> 0:58:51.060 go first. 0:58:51.660 --> 0:58:53.980 I want to give a shout out to Rosie O'Donnell. 0:58:54.540 --> 0:58:59.050 I am really happy that she's back. She's in New 0:58:59.090 --> 0:59:02.950 York City. She's doing an off-Broadway show. A dear friend 0:59:02.990 --> 0:59:05.850 went last night and he said that it was like 0:59:05.930 --> 0:59:08.630 if someone was like frozen in 1996 and then woke 0:59:08.670 --> 0:59:13.400 up now and did a one-woman show, but then he said, parentheses, complimentary. 0:59:14.680 --> 0:59:15.580 Wow. 0:59:15.820 --> 0:59:17.890 Parentheses. I, you know, we talk a lot on this 0:59:17.930 --> 0:59:20.270 podcast about joie de vivre. To me, Rosie is such 0:59:20.310 --> 0:59:24.850 a foundational joie de vivre having person. And we have 0:59:24.890 --> 0:59:26.430 now reached out to her to do a podcast both 0:59:26.470 --> 0:59:29.200 via official means and via me tagging her on Instagram. 0:59:29.660 --> 0:59:31.470 and have not heard back, but I did get a 0:59:31.490 --> 0:59:33.810 DM from a gay guy who works at her nonprofit 0:59:33.870 --> 0:59:36.810 who says he can try to connect us. So I 0:59:36.870 --> 0:59:39.850 just want to say, for the record, she is our 0:59:39.890 --> 0:59:42.290 dream guest. I used to say our dream guest was 0:59:42.310 --> 0:59:44.390 Sarah Jessica Parker, but I actually think it's Rosie O'Donnell. 0:59:45.450 --> 0:59:48.710 And I'm willing to have her on even on Zoom, 0:59:48.730 --> 0:59:49.570 which we no longer do. 0:59:49.750 --> 0:59:52.830 Wow. What's her nonprofit? It is. 0:59:53.710 --> 0:59:59.050 She works to forcibly transition... hip hop artists and politicians. 0:59:59.330 --> 1:00:01.770 Okay. Yeah. Wow. I'll, I'll support that. 1:00:01.830 --> 1:00:05.010 I'll support that. Um, what's up freaks, losers, and perverts 1:00:05.150 --> 1:00:07.190 around the globe. I want to give a shout out 1:00:07.270 --> 1:00:10.650 to when you're on a trip, just being like, actually, 1:00:10.690 --> 1:00:12.970 this meal doesn't need to be good. Like when you 1:00:12.990 --> 1:00:15.270 can finally accept that this next meal is not going 1:00:15.290 --> 1:00:18.550 to be good. You can be Madonna so free. And 1:00:18.690 --> 1:00:21.050 it is so important to just be like, you know what? 1:00:21.530 --> 1:00:23.030 I know that I'm only here for a few days 1:00:23.490 --> 1:00:25.510 and I know there's a million places I should eat, 1:00:25.550 --> 1:00:27.950 but I'm going to have Chipotle. because then I will 1:00:27.990 --> 1:00:31.209 be just settled and I will say, I can start 1:00:31.250 --> 1:00:33.970 my life over after the Chipotle because right now I 1:00:34.010 --> 1:00:35.890 need to eat and I don't have time to figure 1:00:35.930 --> 1:00:38.710 out where I'm gonna go. And so when you accept 1:00:38.870 --> 1:00:43.910 the lowest food option possible, you will open up so 1:00:43.970 --> 1:00:46.850 many more doors, windows and opportunities in your own life. 1:00:47.130 --> 1:00:53.570 XOXO, Sam. Wow. Hi, stinky gay people around the world. 1:00:54.610 --> 1:00:58.630 I wanna give a shout out to showers. I did 1:00:58.670 --> 1:01:01.850 not shower for one week and then I took a shower. 1:01:03.110 --> 1:01:04.050 It was amazing. 1:01:13.880 --> 1:01:16.880 Well, this has been an episode for the books. I 1:01:16.920 --> 1:01:18.180 think people will be talking about this one for a 1:01:18.200 --> 1:01:20.400 long time. I think there's been a lot of thoughts 1:01:20.880 --> 1:01:21.660 and a lot of words. 1:01:22.140 --> 1:01:25.430 We've written a new book of Mormon. here tonight. Yes, 1:01:25.530 --> 1:01:26.470 coming to Broadway soon. 1:01:27.290 --> 1:01:28.570 It's been an absolute delight. 1:01:29.390 --> 1:01:31.130 I love you both. I love you too. I love you. 1:01:31.290 --> 1:01:34.130 And I apologize. You are a... Actually, no. No, you 1:01:34.150 --> 1:01:35.950 don't apologize. Don't apologize. Never apologize. Never apologize. 1:01:36.110 --> 1:01:36.710 Oh, okay. 1:01:37.110 --> 1:01:38.770 Oh, but never not apologize because a man told you. 1:01:40.090 --> 1:01:41.680 But now the more empowered thing to do would be 1:01:41.720 --> 1:01:44.240 to apologize in defiance of the man who pointed at 1:01:44.260 --> 1:01:44.560 you and said. 1:01:44.600 --> 1:01:46.480 Don't apologize. Okay. Would you like to apologize? 1:01:47.060 --> 1:01:47.260 Um. 1:01:48.760 --> 1:01:52.740 Aha! Crap. Gagged. Gagged. I was going to say something 1:01:52.760 --> 1:01:55.700 that was going to hurt your feelings. My feelings? Yeah. 1:01:55.820 --> 1:01:57.160 What was it going to be? It was just going 1:01:57.200 --> 1:01:59.260 to say Madonna's mid. Oh. 1:02:00.040 --> 1:02:02.740 I thought you were going to comment on my appearance 1:02:02.780 --> 1:02:03.040 or something. 1:02:03.060 --> 1:02:05.580 Right. No, I could never. Thank you. Do you want 1:02:05.600 --> 1:02:06.620 to comment on my appearance? 1:02:07.110 --> 1:02:09.010 I actually think you look really beautiful. 1:02:09.490 --> 1:02:12.250 Oh, thank you. It took, what, two hours for you 1:02:12.270 --> 1:02:14.990 to say that? I just want to say you are 1:02:16.250 --> 1:02:19.890 like a true original. Oh, man. 1:02:21.300 --> 1:02:23.660 And you light up every room you walk into. 1:02:23.800 --> 1:02:25.850 That's true. You really do. That is true. 1:02:26.550 --> 1:02:29.550 It's, we talked to so many people and so many 1:02:29.590 --> 1:02:31.930 of them are kind of like, okay, I've sort of 1:02:31.970 --> 1:02:32.930 seen five more of you. 1:02:33.230 --> 1:02:36.550 Yeah. I've never seen any other ones of you. Definitely. 1:02:36.610 --> 1:02:39.310 That's true. That's true. I hope we can turn that 1:02:39.550 --> 1:02:47.650 into a number numerically. Yeah. Like seven. You want seven more? Million, 1:02:47.730 --> 1:02:51.130 meaning dollars in my pocket for being an original. What's 1:02:51.270 --> 1:02:53.910 the number you want? How many dollars in your bank account? 1:02:54.070 --> 1:02:57.950 I would like 30 million for my TV show. Maybe 1:02:57.970 --> 1:03:01.350 just the pilot. Well, you've had a big life. You 1:03:01.370 --> 1:03:04.530 deserve a big budget. Exactly. I mean, the Ellis Island 1:03:04.550 --> 1:03:06.850 chapter alone. The back and forth when you were like, 1:03:07.010 --> 1:03:08.050 I love this part. 1:03:08.070 --> 1:03:08.470 The schlep. 1:03:08.760 --> 1:03:13.960 Yes. That's what the show is called. The big schlep. 1:03:13.980 --> 1:03:17.930 The big schlep. It's the Big Lebowski remake. That's good. 1:03:18.450 --> 1:03:22.230 How about going back and forth? Wow. When is this 1:03:22.250 --> 1:03:23.890 going to come out? Because I need a copyright. It's 1:03:23.910 --> 1:03:28.780 already out. We're live. Oh, well, hi! Wednesday afternoon live. 1:03:30.220 --> 1:03:33.140 Live from Midtown. Live from Midtown, folks. I did just 1:03:33.180 --> 1:03:34.720 send in my. 1:03:35.700 --> 1:03:35.860 End. 1:03:36.940 --> 1:03:39.100 To right now? Like, no, a week ago. While we 1:03:39.140 --> 1:03:41.560 were recording. While we were recording. Because it was due, like, 1:03:41.580 --> 1:03:46.340 July 1st. How do you know that? I have a 1:03:46.380 --> 1:03:48.620 secret in, Lorne. 1:03:48.860 --> 1:03:54.960 We're gonna have to cut that. 1:03:55.100 --> 1:03:56.170 I know we're gonna cut it. 1:03:56.200 --> 1:03:58.850 Well, we're also gonna cut approximately 40% of the rest 1:03:58.890 --> 1:03:59.490 of the episode. 1:04:00.250 --> 1:04:03.350 That's actually my goal is to like have it the 1:04:03.530 --> 1:04:08.110 most cut episode. The most chiseled down episode. Yeah, we're 1:04:08.130 --> 1:04:09.730 just like, welcome to the show. Bye. 1:04:11.510 --> 1:04:13.590 The most cut and the most chiseled. 1:04:14.480 --> 1:04:16.300 Oh. Cut or uncut? Let's start on the right. 1:04:16.320 --> 1:04:20.360 How about you guess for each of us? It's pretty 1:04:20.400 --> 1:04:22.160 much exactly what you would expect. 1:04:22.200 --> 1:04:24.120 I don't want to guess. Based on our heritage. I know. 1:04:24.160 --> 1:04:25.020 I don't want to guess. 1:04:25.700 --> 1:04:25.980 Okay. 1:04:26.000 --> 1:04:29.160 Well, this has been an amazing episode. Goodbye. 1:04:29.180 --> 1:04:29.520 Wait, wait, wait. 1:04:29.540 --> 1:04:32.030 Marley, where can people find you? And is there anything 1:04:32.050 --> 1:04:33.970 you want to sort of encourage them to do? 1:04:33.970 --> 1:04:38.750 I don't really have Instagram on my planet, but Marley 1:04:38.790 --> 1:04:40.220 is Marley. on Instagram. 1:04:40.280 --> 1:04:40.670 Wow. 1:04:40.770 --> 1:04:43.030 And I would just say, let's stick to that for now, 1:04:43.090 --> 1:04:45.390 but I, it almost got deleted recently. So it might 1:04:45.410 --> 1:04:49.110 be something different by the time. Okay. So, um, that's 1:04:49.170 --> 1:04:53.350 for now, but next time we'll check back in. 1:04:53.650 --> 1:04:53.870 Great. 1:04:53.890 --> 1:04:59.990 You're definitely going to have me back. Bye. Podcast ends now. 1:05:00.510 --> 1:05:03.050 Stradialab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players 1:05:03.070 --> 1:05:04.450 Network and iHeart Podcasts. 1:05:04.690 --> 1:05:07.510 Created and hosted by George Severus and Sam Taggart. 1:05:07.650 --> 1:05:11.190 Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sani, and Olivia Aguilar. 1:05:11.310 --> 1:05:14.690 Co-produced by Bay Wang. Edited and engineered by Adam Avalos. 1:05:15.090 --> 1:05:18.030 Artwork by Michael Fales and Matt Grubb. Theme music by 1:05:18.070 --> 1:05:18.530 Ben Kling.