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Speaker 1: Only one time. I had a kid pressed up into

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Speaker 1: the lockers. Security came and it didn't go well, and

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Speaker 1: he spelled his beans Cababa's. But as before, the p

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Speaker 1: guys got there. And when Carrie Westcott's daughter ran off,

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Speaker 1: he was desperate to find her in the halls of

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Speaker 1: her high school. He questioned her friends until he found

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Speaker 1: one who knew where she had gone. The score did

8
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Speaker 1: you off the property? Well to the office, then off

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Speaker 1: the property, And they knew who I was. I coached it,

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Speaker 1: and I want to high school for four years. They

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Speaker 1: knew who I was. But I'm looking for my daughter.

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Speaker 1: I'll walk through the fires at hell. Carrie was looking

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Speaker 1: for his daughter like I was. Like Carry as a

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Speaker 1: railroad engineer, after twenty years driving the train, he knows

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Speaker 1: all the dangers of the rails. That poor kid Carrie

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Speaker 1: pressed up against the locker told him Starla was in Hollywood.

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Speaker 1: Carry's route ended at eleven PM, not far away. Night

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Speaker 1: after night, he leave the train yard and searched the

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Speaker 1: streets for Starla. Was getting my car and drive up

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Speaker 1: to Hollywood. I had her picture and I was just

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Speaker 1: walking the streets up there, asking people that look like

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Speaker 1: locals if they've seen that girl. Finally, one of those

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Speaker 1: guys said, yeah, he was at that chick she she

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Speaker 1: panhals in front of the grounds Chinese Theater. Carry went

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Speaker 1: to the Grand Old Movie Theater on Hollywood's main drag

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Speaker 1: that he didn't find Starla in fun of graumans as

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Speaker 1: the days were in. Two weeks without finding her, Carrie

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Speaker 1: walked deeper into gang territory. I had people at work

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Speaker 1: cause I tell him they going back up there. And

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Speaker 1: then I said, yeah, I'm looking for my kid. Man,

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Speaker 1: They're not after me. You know, I'm not a hoodle one.

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Speaker 1: I'm just a guy looking for his kid. And finally

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Speaker 1: Carry's persistence paid off. He showed Starlet picture to a

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Speaker 1: gang member who said his boss might help Carry. So

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Speaker 1: he took me to his boss, and this guy knew her.

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Speaker 1: Was this guy he was one of the elders in

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Speaker 1: that eighteen Street gang. The Street Gang was one of

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Speaker 1: the most powerful in Los Angeles. He says, come back

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Speaker 1: here tomorrow night and I'll have her here. That's what

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Speaker 1: you said. Kerry would do whatever it took to find Starla,

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Speaker 1: even meeting up with a gang boss. My search for

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Speaker 1: Ruby had led me to do some pretty nutty things too.

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Speaker 1: But it was almost Christmas and Ruby was on the

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Speaker 1: Greyhound on your way home. This is my best shot

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Speaker 1: at keeping her here a few weeks. When we'd have

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Speaker 1: time to talk, I could find out more about why

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Speaker 1: she chose to leave and how she had been living

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Speaker 1: a few days before, I'd gotten bills in the mail

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Speaker 1: for Ruby from a hospital in Florida. What had happened

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Speaker 1: to her? No matter what, this was my chance to

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Speaker 1: remind her that home wasn't that bad. She didn't have

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Speaker 1: to flee. So of course I was excited, but I

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Speaker 1: had my daska. Anything I said or did could entice her.

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Speaker 1: How much had the rails changed her? But I recognized

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Speaker 1: the person coming off the Greyhound, and how can I

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Speaker 1: get that person to stay? I'm Deel Morton and this

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Speaker 1: is City of the Rails. The days before Ruby arrived,

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Speaker 1: I was racing around, buying her favorite muffins, splurging on

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Speaker 1: great coffee, the whole time imagining what it would be

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Speaker 1: like to have her back in the house. I had

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Speaker 1: a dozen scenarios, including one where we'd embraced at the

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Speaker 1: bus station and Ruby would announce she was home for good. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's not going to happen. Could we even have an

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Speaker 1: honest conversation. I know I'd be hiding a lot of

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Speaker 1: my thoughts, and she definitely had some secrets. Once my

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Speaker 1: overthinking exhausted me, I relaxed into the idea of hugging her,

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Speaker 1: holding her, even if it was just for a minute,

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Speaker 1: and feeling that she was safe. I needed to figure

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Speaker 1: out what could get her to stay, or even stay

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Speaker 1: a little longer. I made a plan, one that I

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Speaker 1: called the comfort Offensive. Ruby was staying in a bathroom

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Speaker 1: in Austin with her boyfriend and a pregnant pit bull

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Speaker 1: named Junks. I could beat that home. Under the comfort offensive.

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Speaker 1: Ruby would have clean sheets, I'd buy her flannel pjs,

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Speaker 1: a old navy and new slippers. I'd stock the fridge

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Speaker 1: reminders of the life we lead, but better carry. The

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Speaker 1: dad who chased his daughter through the dark streets of

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Speaker 1: Hollywood told me he tried a lot of things to

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Speaker 1: get Starlett to come home. What would he think about

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Speaker 1: the comfort offensive? We did the same exact thing. Remember

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Speaker 1: a new new comforter on the bed, and sheets and

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Speaker 1: clothes and food. Well that's weird. Do exact same thing.

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Speaker 1: Kill the fatted calf, give him the robe, but Carrie

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Speaker 1: and Starla weren't Ruby and Me and Starla was home now.

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Speaker 1: She had been living with Carrie and his wife Ginger

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Speaker 1: for the last six months in her childhood bedroom. At

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Speaker 1: the age of forty three, Carrie invited me over to

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Speaker 1: meet the family on an early morning in December. I

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Speaker 1: arrived at their house on a hill overlooking the desert.

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Speaker 1: I was eatre for any inside he could offer. Here's

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Speaker 1: like quite a set up here. There's a swimming pool,

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Speaker 1: there's like a water fall. There's two horses, greene horses,

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Speaker 1: and huge corral basketball court. So what are the names

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Speaker 1: of your horses? This is Baby, this is Dallas. The

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Speaker 1: place was immaculate, with the shrubbery, neatly trimmed pathway swept clean,

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Speaker 1: and a pristine pool. It was clear that this backyard

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Speaker 1: was Carrie's domain when he built over time with his

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Speaker 1: own two hands. An inside was his wife, Ginger's realm.

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Speaker 1: In the dining room, where Carrie and I spoke, she

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Speaker 1: had a collection of dozens of hurricane lamps and heaps

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Speaker 1: of nineteen seventies California pottery. Though it was beautiful, there

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Speaker 1: was something a little overwhelming about this house. Well, we spoke.

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Speaker 1: Carrie's grandson. Starler's teenage boy was in the kitchen making

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Speaker 1: the world's slowest breakfast as he eavesdropped on the interview.

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Speaker 1: Carrie and I talked for more than an hour. The

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Speaker 1: grandson was there for at least forty five minutes, frying

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Speaker 1: one strip of bacon at a time at different times

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Speaker 1: in our interview. There were three generations of Westcott's in

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Speaker 1: the room. So even though Starla was off the rails,

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Speaker 1: she was still Carrie's responsibility. Her whole family was, including

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Speaker 1: her nine year old daughter, who Carrie and Ginger were raising.

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Speaker 1: How did this come to be? Would Starlet's story give

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Speaker 1: me any insight into Ruby's? Once we settled in, Carrie

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Speaker 1: started right off. She ran away from home and she

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Speaker 1: was junior in high school. They just couldn't. I couldn't

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Speaker 1: keep her home, and it pretty sure got to point

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Speaker 1: where I didn't try. But before that, Carrie and Starla

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Speaker 1: had been very close. They spent all their afternoons together

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Speaker 1: as Carrie coach Starla, who was a phenomenal softball pitcher.

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Speaker 1: He was a standout blue chip athletes. She was. Did

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Speaker 1: you have a natural gift? She did? She was thrown

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Speaker 1: in the low sixties by the time she was in

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Speaker 1: high school, and there's kids that are way faster than

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Speaker 1: that now. But her big road to success was she

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Speaker 1: had eleven different pitches and even though there were well

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Speaker 1: there aren't for most people. Carrie hired private coaches and

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Speaker 1: sent her to special summer camps. Every night they practiced

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Speaker 1: in the backyard. We video her because I was real

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Speaker 1: serious about it. I would watch just watch her, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I could feel it. I could feel the ball.

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Speaker 1: And then you take the softball and I would get

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Speaker 1: magic marker and put red and blue so I could

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Speaker 1: see the rotation of the ball, which way it's traveling,

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Speaker 1: so I could tell if she was putting snap on

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Speaker 1: the ball. Those knights in the backyard paid off. Starler

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Speaker 1: started competing in state tournaments, but at the same time,

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Speaker 1: Starla was developing a rebellious streak. When she turned fourteen,

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Speaker 1: Starla dyed her hair neon pink and started wearing tattered

139
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Speaker 1: fishness under her shorts, but she was still doing great

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Speaker 1: on the mound at first. Carry loved it. When Starla

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Speaker 1: brought the punk attitude to a tournament. We went to

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Speaker 1: the Women's Nationals in Wisconsin, dyed her hair purple, and

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Speaker 1: she bought a cheese hat at the airport. You've seen

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Speaker 1: those cheese hats. Starle cut holes in her hat to

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Speaker 1: thread her hair through. She had purple Liberty spikes sticking

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Speaker 1: up through a cheese at, which they took magic marker,

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Speaker 1: and she put tattoos on the inside of her arms.

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Speaker 1: And she's already six ft tall, and she had these

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Speaker 1: Nike cleats that went halfway up her calf. Were Madison,

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Speaker 1: Wisconsin girls still have their pigtails intwear in pinafores. And

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Speaker 1: then you got Zeene to the Warrior princess from California.

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Speaker 1: You know, trash talking Starla was on her way. But

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Speaker 1: around age fifteen, she lost interest in softball and started

154
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Speaker 1: getting into punk music. Her graves fell and she was

155
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Speaker 1: blasting music at all hours. There was more and more

156
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Speaker 1: conflict with her dad, and the day she was scheduled

157
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Speaker 1: to meet with college softball scouts, she ran away. So, hey, dad,

158
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Speaker 1: you you wanted it. I didn't. I never felt threatened,

159
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Speaker 1: but you just feel Oh yo, the eighteen Street gang.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a hoodle, I'm not dealing drugs, I'm not

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Speaker 1: on your turb I'm looking for my kid. The longer

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Speaker 1: she was gone, the further Carry walked from the swanky

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Speaker 1: parts of the Sunset Strip until finally he found the

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Speaker 1: gang leader who knew where Starla was living an abandoned

165
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Speaker 1: warehouse over here, and they wouldn't tell me where. The

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Speaker 1: next night, the bus told his deputy to escort Carry

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Speaker 1: to the squad where Starlett and the others were staying.

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Speaker 1: I was thrilled. I was nervous because last time I started,

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Speaker 1: we're not getting along, but I'm going to get her home.

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Speaker 1: Carry stood outside the warehouse, yelling Starla's name, refusing the

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Speaker 1: budge until she came out. But a random woman walked

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Speaker 1: out instead. And she came out because you know what,

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Speaker 1: starl has a new family now and it's us. And

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Speaker 1: I said, bullshit, She's got a family at home and

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Speaker 1: she needs to get home, and that's why i'm here.

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Speaker 1: Carry stood his ground, and finally Starla walked out of

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Speaker 1: the warehouse. Carry grabbed her getting the car, getting the car,

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Speaker 1: and then she gave me ship right then, and I

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Speaker 1: was afraid that she's going to get out of the car.

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Speaker 1: She didn't, and we went home and we didn't get

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Speaker 1: in a fight because threatening and fighting with her was

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Speaker 1: not going to ever win because she'd take off again.

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Speaker 1: So she lasted a month. I don't remember exactly, not long.

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Speaker 1: So how does this leave you? Yeah, I just gotta

185
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Speaker 1: get on. I got I you know, I got my son,

186
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Speaker 1: I gotta raise and dangerous to be preoccupied. I really

187
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Speaker 1: had to distend myself from that. Hearing that Carrie was

188
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Speaker 1: only able to keep Starla home for a month was brutal.

189
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Speaker 1: He didn't say it out right, but the advice was clear.

190
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Speaker 1: Don't get your hopes up. Would a comfort offensive work?

191
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Speaker 1: I know it would have worked on the old Ruby,

192
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Speaker 1: but the new one, the one coming home on a

193
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Speaker 1: Greyhound after eight months on the rails, I didn't have

194
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Speaker 1: a clue that carries. I also got to sit down

195
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Speaker 1: with Styla to hear what coming home for Christmas was

196
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Speaker 1: like for her. He tracks you down in Hollywood. Do

197
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Speaker 1: you feel embarrassed or at the time? Yeah, yeah, at

198
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Speaker 1: the time, but no other parents are doing that, And

199
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Speaker 1: I really should have been like golf at somebody cares

200
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Speaker 1: about me, you know, kind of uncomfortable being home? Did

201
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Speaker 1: you feel that very uncomfortable? I slept in the backyard

202
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Speaker 1: with the dogs. Why was that. I don't know, I

203
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Speaker 1: just like being inside. I felt claustrophobic because I was

204
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Speaker 1: staying squats, you know, and or I would stay outside

205
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Speaker 1: and so being yeah, it was just claustrophobic, and you know,

206
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Speaker 1: and I'm pleased. They were like, oh, don't you want

207
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Speaker 1: to take a shower? And I was like, no, I'm good.

208
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Speaker 1: It had to be hard going from the freedom of

209
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Speaker 1: the road to a home crammed with parental expectations. A

210
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Speaker 1: lot of writers described the struggle to rejoin society after

211
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Speaker 1: leaving the rails. Sometimes they tried it, hated it, and

212
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Speaker 1: ended right back out there with eight months of living

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Speaker 1: in squats and sleeping under the stars. Make Ruby feel

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Speaker 1: claustrophobic at home too, And we're getting here to take

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Speaker 1: a shower be a battle. Those kids they come home.

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Speaker 1: We'd pick them up at the truck stop because they

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Speaker 1: would come home and trump whatever I sprang with the hose.

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Speaker 1: I thought, take your clothes off outside, just filthy, filthy dirty.

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Speaker 1: You know. I was used to take a bird bath

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Speaker 1: and you know, like not full on showers, and now

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Speaker 1: I looked so different when I did actually take a shower, though,

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Speaker 1: I always swear because I would wear, you know, chains

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Speaker 1: around my neck and and they would get filthy dirty

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Speaker 1: and like just the trains period, just like you know,

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Speaker 1: like you smell train? What does that smell like? Like

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Speaker 1: dirty steel? Starlet didn't just slide right back into family life.

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Speaker 1: I remember coming home for the holidays as a teenager

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Speaker 1: and feeling the same way. The unmet expectations behind every

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Speaker 1: maternal gesture made me want a bolt, and my mother

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Speaker 1: approved of what I was doing. I appreciated when Starla

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Speaker 1: said it plainly, God, I just wanted to drink. Nonetheless,

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Speaker 1: I slept home every night. Styler showed me maybe I

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Speaker 1: couldn't expect that, like I had a hard time, you know,

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Speaker 1: trying to adjust to it. So I wouldn't stay there

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Speaker 1: long a week or two, you know, and but I

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Speaker 1: slept outside with the dogs. Would we be also get

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Speaker 1: restless after just a week. Starla might see the love

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Speaker 1: and carry's actions now, but it's been years. Back then

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Speaker 1: she was piste off. She ran away many more times.

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Speaker 1: Starla was on the road from more than a decade,

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Speaker 1: and in all that time, Carrie never gave up on

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Speaker 1: trying to get her home. And now he had his wish.

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Speaker 1: So despite all of this. Despite the pain that you've

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Speaker 1: been through, the disappointment, you were still going to find

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Speaker 1: your daughter. I just, what's your motivation there? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I just I don't give up on anything. I never

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Speaker 1: have on anything, And sometimes it's just it's just manifests

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Speaker 1: itself and a lot of times it's foolish. Yeah, maybe

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Speaker 1: it is foolish, but I bet it would feel worse

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Speaker 1: to stop. You have to do something. So it sounded

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Speaker 1: like my comfort offensive could backfire. All this bothering might

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Speaker 1: make Ruby claustrophobic. But what other tools that I have?

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Speaker 1: Someone else I asked for a new perspective was my

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Speaker 1: friend Dave Crowe. He's a tennis lawyer who used to

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Speaker 1: work with the unhoused in day's experience, What was the

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00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,760
Speaker 1: best way to get someone off the streets? Unconditional love?

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Speaker 1: The real difference between the kids who get in the

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Speaker 1: day or trouble. Did they experience that? My guess is

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Speaker 1: not as much or maybe never. That's how I felt

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Speaker 1: from before she was born. But did she feel loved unconditionally?

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Speaker 1: That's not for me to decide. So I also asked

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Speaker 1: Dave what warning signs would show me that the road

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Speaker 1: had its hooks and Ruby. When you are in sort

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Speaker 1: of dire straits, when you are unable to kind of

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Speaker 1: take care of yourself on a healthy level, teeth start

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Speaker 1: to go. And that was true of homeless folks who

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Speaker 1: were mentally disambled, but it was also true of folks

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Speaker 1: who had just been out on the road a long time,

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Speaker 1: who had neglected some of that healthcare. So, yeah, the

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Speaker 1: first thing that goes or your teeth, and you're in trouble.

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Speaker 1: You're in trouble because you have nelected yourself in some way.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you're not care enough about yourself. With what Dave

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Speaker 1: said and Carrie's experience plus my own theories, my body

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00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,040
Speaker 1: was electric with anxiety. I had so much to watch

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Speaker 1: out for when Ruby came home, and I still hadn't

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Speaker 1: asked her about those hospital bills. Ruby and her brother

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Speaker 1: Ben were both set to arrive home Christmas Eve. I

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Speaker 1: had a week to pull it all together. The day

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00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,120
Speaker 1: she got home, we'd have a family dinner to welcome her.

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Speaker 1: They leave on Christmas Day to be with their dad

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Speaker 1: and step mom, and then I was throwing a big

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Speaker 1: Boxing Day party on the after that. Who knew how

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Speaker 1: long Ruby would stay and who knew how long I'd

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Speaker 1: be able to pretend like everything was normal. I was

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Speaker 1: penniless now after Simon and Schuster rejected my book. Not

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00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:19,399
Speaker 1: just penniless, I was a dred dollars in debt. So

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Speaker 1: all of my party planning and Christmas shopping was going

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Speaker 1: on credit cards. So there I was making my shopping

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00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,960
Speaker 1: list for the Christmas Eve dinner and the Boxing Day party,

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00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,320
Speaker 1: sitting with my laptop at the dining room table with

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00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,760
Speaker 1: a sinking feeling about how much more this would add

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Speaker 1: to my debt. When all of a sudden, my inbox pings.

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00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,399
Speaker 1: It was Bank of America offering me a twenty dollar

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00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 1: unsecured loan. I smiled slightly, like a criminal about to

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00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,199
Speaker 1: pull off a heist and raise my morning coffee and

296
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,679
Speaker 1: a toast to the b of A. If Simon and

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00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,960
Speaker 1: Schus who didn't believe in me, God damnit Bank of

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Speaker 1: America did. I was almost ready for the big day.

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Speaker 1: Ruby bus was arriving early Christmas Eve morning. I decided

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00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,800
Speaker 1: not to say anything about my book or about how

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00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,480
Speaker 1: I needed to move out of our beautiful apartment. I

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00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:12,520
Speaker 1: wanted Ruby's Christmas at home to be cozy, warm, stable,

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00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 1: let's not let the truth get in the way of

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00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:19,960
Speaker 1: that story. I was up at four am Christmas Eve,

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00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,760
Speaker 1: not knowing what to do with myself, so I jumped

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00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,760
Speaker 1: in the car and headed to the bus station early,

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00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,720
Speaker 1: eager to see my daughter again. The comfort offensive was

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00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:44,359
Speaker 1: about to begin. Six I am Christmas Eve. I parked

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Speaker 1: at the entrance to the Greyhound station, examining everyone who

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00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,280
Speaker 1: walked by. Everyone coming off the bus looked weary, trying

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00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,560
Speaker 1: to juggle their luggage and Christmas packages. The bus station

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00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,880
Speaker 1: was a dump with a lot of sketchy characters hanging

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Speaker 1: around the benches. I stayed in my car. Someone with

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Speaker 1: a loose swagger wearing tattered clothes made a bee line

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Speaker 1: for my car, mace hanging from one belt loop and

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00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,359
Speaker 1: a pocket knife from the other. I tent sed up

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00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,280
Speaker 1: when they reached for the car door and opened it.

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Speaker 1: Who was this guy? It was Ruby. She had a

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Speaker 1: loose camouflage pants with ragged purple shorts over them, layers

320
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,360
Speaker 1: of tattered sweaters, and a jean jacket with a huge

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Speaker 1: Johnny Cash panel across the back. She grinned at me

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Speaker 1: and cocked her head towards the back of the car.

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00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 1: I popped the trunk so she could toss in her path.

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00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 1: She hopped into the passenger seat. My dread that the

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00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,680
Speaker 1: rails had changed my daughter beyond recognition went away. At

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00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 1: the sight of her, I had only one feeling. I

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00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:54,320
Speaker 1: love her. We hugged and held it for a while. Wow,

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00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,480
Speaker 1: she really smelled like cigarettes. When we broke apart, I

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00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 1: got a closer look at her. She was dirty, and

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00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:05,680
Speaker 1: your skin seemed tired. I pulled away from the curb

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Speaker 1: and started towards home. Her voice was raspy and deeper

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00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,359
Speaker 1: as she told funny stories about the cook she'd met

333
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,720
Speaker 1: on the gray hat sprawled out in the passenger's seat,

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00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 1: legs wide. Ruby looked tough, and I noticed that, just

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00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 1: like Morgan's friend had advised, she dressed like a man.

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00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,400
Speaker 1: But I didn't want to scrutinize her too much. I'd

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00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,800
Speaker 1: spent so much of the last month's pouring over every

338
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 1: little bit of information I got from her. There, with

339
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,120
Speaker 1: her here, at last, I just wanted to love her

340
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,680
Speaker 1: and feel that connection, remind myself it was still there.

341
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 1: So here she was. What could I say? A lot

342
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 1: of times, it's best to say nothing. I just focused

343
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 1: on how much I loved having her here in my

344
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,359
Speaker 1: car soon in our home. Seon to be making her breakfast.

345
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,399
Speaker 1: The normal pieces of our life before she fled didn't

346
00:20:56,440 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 1: need any words. But what did she want? It was

347
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,480
Speaker 1: dark in the house after we arrived, not quite the

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00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,879
Speaker 1: sunny homecoming i'd pictured. As we walked up to the door,

349
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 1: I was a few steps ahead of Ruby. I fumbled

350
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,240
Speaker 1: with my keys, trying to get in as quickly as possible.

351
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,520
Speaker 1: I was chattering, running into her bedroom to turn down

352
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,639
Speaker 1: the bed, pointing to the clean sheets, the stack of towels,

353
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,679
Speaker 1: the pajamas, and the slippers atop the new comforter, and

354
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 1: then dragging her into the kitchen to show her the food,

355
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,679
Speaker 1: holding out the special coffee, and even pulling out the

356
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:37,680
Speaker 1: bacon from the fridge for her approval. Oh my god,

357
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 1: thinking about it now, it sounds like an addition weby

358
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 1: kind of didn't notice though it was six thirty a m.

359
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 1: She was tired. What she wanted to do first was

360
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,879
Speaker 1: to take a shower. That gave me hope maybe the

361
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: comfort offensive had a chance. After her shower, we'd be

362
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 1: dressed in her new pjs and fuzzy slippers. X. We

363
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,240
Speaker 1: needed to do her laundry. Family would be arriving to

364
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 1: welcome her home with a holiday dinner. I brought her

365
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,919
Speaker 1: a big towel to bundle up the laundry. It was

366
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 1: a sad little pile, and boy did it stink. She

367
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,439
Speaker 1: needed something aware, so we agreed she could open some

368
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,919
Speaker 1: of her Christmas presents, early new socks, gray sweats, and

369
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 1: a striped long sleeved t shirt. I could see the

370
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,360
Speaker 1: relief on her face as she relaxed into these clothes.

371
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 1: She looked great. By the time I got breakfast on

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00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: the table, the sun was up. Ruby sat in her

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Speaker 1: usual spot across from me at the widest part of

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Speaker 1: the table and propped her foot up on one of

375
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Speaker 1: the spare chairs. I commented on how much I liked

376
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 1: her cheerful red sox, but I was also thinking about

377
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,959
Speaker 1: those hospital bills. But part of her got infected, and

378
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 1: how infected I stuffled That thought wasn't going to ruin

379
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: this relaxed breakfast with an interrogation. Carrie told me about

380
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 1: how that would play out On one of Starla's first

381
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 1: visits home for the holidays, when she was still writing.

382
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,200
Speaker 1: Harry's own father was furious with her as soon as

383
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 1: the family gathered, he went off on Starla. What did

384
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,400
Speaker 1: he say? Well, I just you know what you're You're

385
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,199
Speaker 1: a West Scott and you you walked away from an

386
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:16,120
Speaker 1: education and you've offended the family and the family name,

387
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,719
Speaker 1: and just my dad's just that. I remember I look

388
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,119
Speaker 1: at the top of the stairs since she was in

389
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 1: her bedroom and he's just hammering her. Next morning she

390
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 1: was gone. And do I blame my dad? I do

391
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 1: a little bit, just but my dad just wouldn't back off.

392
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 1: There would be no Grandpa like lectures coming from me

393
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 1: or from any of my family members if I could

394
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 1: help it. Ruby's brother Ben was coming in from New

395
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,880
Speaker 1: York in a few hours, and I had warned him

396
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 1: and everyone else in the family not to press Ruby

397
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:50,280
Speaker 1: to answer questions or to criticize her. Christmas is a

398
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 1: season of love for the refugee, for the people who

399
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 1: don't have homes. Remember that and bathe her in love.

400
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 1: Fingers crossed her dad and Grandpa would remember that. At

401
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 1: the dinner and all my running around downtown spending Bank

402
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:08,920
Speaker 1: of America's money, I bought Christmas presents, planned some expensive meals,

403
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:12,159
Speaker 1: and made some impulse purchases in the back aisle of

404
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 1: the toy store on sale. I bought two pairs of

405
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 1: Hulk hands for Ben and Ruby. They hadn't seen each

406
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 1: other in a while, and I thought this might be

407
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 1: a fun way to ease the tension. Ben was only

408
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 1: home an hour when I presented the hands to him

409
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 1: and Ruby. In case you don't know about the magic

410
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 1: of Hulk hands, here's Ben. They are big green foam

411
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 1: gloves with a speaker in them that would make Hulk

412
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,479
Speaker 1: noises when you hit somebody or you banged the other.

413
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 1: Maybe duking it out like this could help them break

414
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:49,199
Speaker 1: the ice. They've never been very close, and that distance

415
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:54,119
Speaker 1: grew when Ruby ditched us at graduation. I see her sporadically,

416
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:59,640
Speaker 1: as through sheer willpower on your part. She's compelled to

417
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 1: finish high school, and then she's gone. And then she

418
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 1: sort of appeared, and during that time she became someone

419
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 1: that I didn't know anymore. Even though they'd always been

420
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 1: different since she had left, that contrast seemed greater. You know,

421
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: she wants to be free and not have to work,

422
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 1: and and she kind of wants to say funck it

423
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:26,159
Speaker 1: to everything. And I was trying as hard as I

424
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: could to buy into the system at that time. You know,

425
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:32,359
Speaker 1: if I could just find a way to get a

426
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: job that made me feel good about myself, and so

427
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 1: I never I just felt like I would never knew

428
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 1: how to connect with her at that time in her life.

429
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,439
Speaker 1: It was clear they were in very different places in

430
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:54,920
Speaker 1: life enterns. I remember being in the living rooms and

431
00:25:55,040 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 1: it was winter, so it was dark, and I remember,

432
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: are the squaring off? You know, We're both looking and

433
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 1: I have a photo of this somewhere. We're both looking

434
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 1: at each other with with our muscles flax ready to

435
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,120
Speaker 1: goof off, trying to beat the ship out of each

436
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:20,640
Speaker 1: other with these hull hands. And I remember this sort

437
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: of split experience of a family and pracess in that moment,

438
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,399
Speaker 1: because we were having fun in a way that felt

439
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 1: very familiar, and we have this feeling of this is

440
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 1: how our family should be. And then just below the

441
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 1: surface was the the agony of are we safe? Are

442
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 1: we okay? What do we do for her? So I

443
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 1: was puttering around, fussing, setting out food, listening to the

444
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: laughter from the living room and the hull hands smashing together.

445
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 1: Who knew what the outcome of this visit would be?

446
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 1: This night felt like a victory. I had both of

447
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 1: my children under my roof again, and we were happy.

448
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 1: Ruby was clean, fed and would be sleeping safely tonight,

449
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 1: and she was only ten ft from me. I was

450
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 1: going to get the best sleep of the year. The

451
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: next morning, Christmas morning, I got up and made coffee

452
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,199
Speaker 1: and started soaking the bread for Ruby's favorite French toast.

453
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 1: Ben got up and was hungry. I wanted to open presence.

454
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:47,479
Speaker 1: I knocked on Ruby's door and knocked again. I opened

455
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:52,359
Speaker 1: it and saw she was gone. I called her, but

456
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:58,120
Speaker 1: no answer. I went back to making breakfast. I was anxious,

457
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 1: searching my memory for something I said that could have

458
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,399
Speaker 1: given Ruby a reason to leave. And then, of course

459
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: there were no guarantees. CARRY had tried new betting and everything,

460
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 1: and still Starlotte told me how she shunned the new

461
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 1: comforter and went to sleep with the dogs. Then my

462
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: mood switched to fury. All the effort I had gone

463
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,120
Speaker 1: through to get her here, all the money to make

464
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,919
Speaker 1: this a special holiday, and the way I zipped my

465
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 1: lips and not said any of the things that came

466
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: to me late at night when I couldn't sleep all

467
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: this time, I disciplined myself not to offend Ruby, and

468
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: still she was gone. But I had to remind myself

469
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 1: the most important thing was to keep her here as

470
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 1: long as I could manage it. So when Ruby did

471
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 1: show up an hour later for Christmas breakfast, I was

472
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 1: happy to see her, no questions asked. After breakfast, we

473
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: opened presents with lots of laughter, and then Ruby and

474
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 1: Ben got ready for Christmas Day with their dad. They

475
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 1: came back that evening, but minutes after returning home, Ruby

476
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 1: left again, this time not even sneaking out. She just

477
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: grabbed her stuff and said see you, and walked out

478
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 1: the door. I shrugged. Asking her about where she was going,

479
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 1: or trying to guilt her about Christmas might just kiss

480
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 1: her off. Harry warned me about how a lecture would

481
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 1: go when he told me about dragging Style at home

482
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 1: from that warehouse in Hollywood. I still remember thinking to myself,

483
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna deal with this. I'm not gonna throw

484
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 1: out admonishments, no, no restrict nothing. So I got in

485
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 1: a car took her to school, and she gets out

486
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 1: of the car and we didn't talk at all. I said,

487
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 1: Glad you're safe, Glad your home. She looks at me

488
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 1: and says, all I need to know is my restriction.

489
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 1: I said, well, let's do the math here. You stole

490
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 1: your mom's car, you went out all night, you're seventeen

491
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 1: years old, you got a ticket for reckless driving doing

492
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: eighty five. What do you think, Because that's all I

493
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: need to know, slammed the door. I didnt see her

494
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 1: for eight months, just when falling out and Styler was gone.

495
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 1: So I didn't say anything and Ruby left Christmas night anyway,

496
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 1: I knew i'd see her the next day. I was

497
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 1: throwing a big Boxing Day party with her friends, Ben's

498
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 1: and mine. This party was a big deal for me.

499
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: I wanted to celebrate Ruby being home. I also knew

500
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 1: it would be one last time to bring everyone together

501
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 1: in my beautiful apartment. All my leftist friends for my

502
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 1: years at Berkeley were coming. Musicians and journalists would be

503
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: intermixed with my son's academic crowd and all the squat

504
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 1: house punks. What a combination. I got one of those

505
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 1: sweet spiral cut hams and made biscuits. I made my

506
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 1: mom's Swedish meatballs. When people asked what they could bring,

507
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 1: I said beer. Boomer men loved to spend money on beer.

508
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: I knew the Hoboes would be impressed. The guest started

509
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 1: to arrive, and suddenly there were fifty people in my apartment.

510
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 1: I love seeing Ruby's friends. They were happy to see

511
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: me too, every one of them greeting me with open arms.

512
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 1: I'd look over my shoulder to see if Ruby was

513
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 1: noticing this. The ice was packed with half a dozen

514
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 1: punks on their front steps, smoking with some of my

515
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 1: formerly delinquent pals, intergenerational discussions about anarchy next to the

516
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 1: spiral ham with my political friends. I warned my friends

517
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,959
Speaker 1: the same way I'd warned my family, no interrogations of Ruby.

518
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 1: They kind of heard me, kind of not. I kept

519
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 1: hearing them ask Ruby, with voices dripping and condescending concern,

520
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 1: how are you? I could see from the expression on

521
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 1: Ruby's face this was getting really old, really fast. The

522
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 1: party lasted till two am, but when it was over,

523
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 1: Ruby left with her friends. I didn't see Ruby for

524
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 1: days after that party. So far, she hadn't spent a

525
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 1: single night at home, but I knew i'd see her again.

526
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: We had business to conduct. She needed a new I

527
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 1: d she couldn't get on the plane without one. We

528
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 1: had an appointment for her at the d m V

529
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: a few days after Christmas, but I hadn't heard anything

530
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: from her. I didn't care if she missed this spot,

531
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: she'd have to be here longer. But Ruby knew that too.

532
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 1: She showed up at home an hour before her appointment,

533
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 1: and we jumped in the car and they crowded d

534
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 1: m V waiting room. Ruby pulled the number from the dispenser.

535
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 1: There were twenty numbers ahead of her, so we'd be

536
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: waiting at least an hour. We settled into our seats

537
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: and waited in silence. Sitting in the plastic cease, I

538
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: realized I had her captured. Asked her about the hospital bills.

539
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 1: Asked her about the hospital bills kept shouting in my head.

540
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 1: But then I also didn't want to ask her. In

541
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 1: some ways, I didn't want to know the answer or

542
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 1: learn why she'd been hospitalized. Finally, I worked up the

543
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 1: courage to say something. It was my Grandpa moment. I

544
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 1: turned to Ruby and mentioned the bills from the Gainesville.

545
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,959
Speaker 1: I was anxious, but Ruby seemed unfazed. I told her

546
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 1: my nurse friends said the doctors had prescribed antibiotics only

547
00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 1: used for the most serious infections. What happened Moruby was

548
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 1: a matter of fact. She said, her foot got infected

549
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 1: living on the streets in Florida in the summer. My

550
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 1: friend made an herbal poultice, but it just made the

551
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 1: infection worse. Then they applied calamine lotion and it got

552
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 1: a lot worse. So they went to the emergency room.

553
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 1: A nurse admitted her to the hospital and they kept

554
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 1: her there for three days. Three days. I was in shock,

555
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 1: I said. The staff must have feared for your life.

556
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 1: Ruby rolled her eyes a little at my retroactive anxiety. No,

557
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: she said. They told her if they didn't treat her

558
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 1: foot infection aggressively, they'd have to amputate, amputate. I was

559
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 1: about to jump out of my seat. Didn't this frighten her?

560
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 1: It's a pretty big sign it's time to get off

561
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 1: the rails. She shrugged her shoulders and fine, she said,

562
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 1: my foot's fine. It's not like I see my foot

563
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 1: as a symbol of life on the road. Stuff happens.

564
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: She was sorry, she told me, Anticipating I was about

565
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 1: to lecture her about needing to come home. There in

566
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 1: the d m VS harsh lighting, Ruby told me, I

567
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 1: love this, and I'm not coming home until I'm done.

568
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 1: I guess I had my answer about the comfort offensive.

569
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,280
Speaker 1: We didn't say another word until her number was called.

570
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 1: On the way home for the d m V. The

571
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: mood in the car was hot. I had a dozen

572
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,440
Speaker 1: more things I wanted to say to her, but as

573
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 1: Carrie knew, delivering them would be more for me than

574
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:29,360
Speaker 1: they would be for her. The radical freedom Ruby embraced

575
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 1: made a prisoner out of me, as it had of carry.

576
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 1: I didn't know what to say, how to behave, and

577
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:38,840
Speaker 1: so against my impulses, I said nothing. I was afraid

578
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 1: I'd lose it and push her away. Maybe she'd made

579
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 1: the right choice by not staying home. My plan hadn't worked.

580
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: Should Ruby like to drop in for a meal, to

581
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 1: have a mom willing to drive her anywhere and buy

582
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 1: her whatever she needed? But she didn't really need any

583
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 1: of that. She had no malice towards me, but it

584
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 1: wasn't about up me, And honestly, I had my own

585
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:07,720
Speaker 1: crisis underway. Dollars from Bank of America was going fast.

586
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 1: I needed to cut my overhead. I'd given notice to

587
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 1: my landlady that I was leaving at the end of January,

588
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 1: and I still didn't know where I was going. M

589
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 1: The holidays were over, and I still wasn't seeing much

590
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 1: of Ruby while we waited for her license to arrive.

591
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 1: One reason was that she'd fallen right back into the

592
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 1: local music scene. She had gigs at clubs and house

593
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 1: shows just like before a New Year's Eve. Her band

594
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 1: brought down the house and a local record producer approached

595
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 1: her about recording an album. Maybe I couldn't keep Ruby here,

596
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:56,439
Speaker 1: but music might. That was my low level of hope

597
00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 1: as I trudged up the stairs and collected the mail.

598
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 1: A week or so into the new year, when I

599
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,240
Speaker 1: saw an envelope from the d m V, my stomach dropped.

600
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 1: I had been relying on the sluggish bureaucracy to keep

601
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 1: her home for at least three weeks, but her new

602
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 1: I D came after only two. I called Ruby and

603
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 1: she let out a yelp of joy. The timing was perfect.

604
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 1: The album was done, the record release party was in

605
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 1: a few days, and she could leave right after that.

606
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 1: Plus her pregnant pit bull Junks had just given birth

607
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,279
Speaker 1: to ten puppies, and her boyfriend was waiting. She got

608
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 1: off the phone to call her dad so he could

609
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 1: book her flight back to Austin. So much for the

610
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 1: comfort offensive. The album release party was in an art

611
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 1: gallery and it went on till one o'clock in the morning,

612
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:46,399
Speaker 1: and the next day Ruby's plane was leaving. She showed

613
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 1: up at home two hours before her flight. We packed

614
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 1: her up in a frenzy and raced to the airport.

615
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 1: She'd stayed for nearly a month, longer than Carry had

616
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 1: managed to hold onto Starler that first time, and even

617
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 1: though the comfort offensive didn't keep her home, Ruby was softer,

618
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 1: happier than the young woman I had collected at the

619
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 1: bus station, not thanks to me alone. It was clear

620
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,760
Speaker 1: how love she was by her family, friends and her fans.

621
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 1: We met her father at the airport. As we got

622
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 1: her things out of the car, it was hugs all around.

623
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 1: We said our goodbyes, feigning cheerfulness, telling Mauby how much

624
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: we loved her and we minded her. All she had

625
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 1: to do was say the word and we'd get her home.

626
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 1: I felt frantic Asruby hoisted her pack onto her back.

627
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 1: I didn't want her to go, but if she was

628
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 1: going to leave, I wanted it to be over. It

629
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 1: was too hard to say goodbye. She thanked us for

630
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 1: the good visit and all the Christmas presents. As she

631
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 1: gathered up the last of her stuff, she told me

632
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 1: it was a good thing she was leaving. She would

633
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 1: get back just in time for her appointment with the

634
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 1: dentist that served the unhoused in Austin. The dentist was

635
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 1: concerned about her back teeth and just might pull them.

636
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,280
Speaker 1: I flashed back to what Dave Crow said about trouble

637
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 1: with teeth as a sign and someone was slipping into

638
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 1: permanent homelessness. I didn't want to believe that this was true,

639
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 1: and even after this visit, I didn't know. Ruby turned

640
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,640
Speaker 1: around to walk into the airport. I watched her disappear

641
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 1: through the double doors. My final thought as the doors

642
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 1: closed behind her, I don't know when I'm going to

643
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 1: see her again. I got back into my car and

644
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 1: pulled away. I held my tears in until I got

645
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 1: to the freeway, and then I cried all the way home.

646
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 1: When I got home from the airport, I saw Ruby

647
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: CD sitting on the kitchen counter and grabbed it. I

648
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 1: put it in the CD player and sat on the

649
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 1: couch in the living room. I looked out onto the

650
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 1: Lake and the Oakland skyline beyond. As the first chords

651
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 1: of her ukulele music came from the speakers. I hadn't

652
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 1: heard that since she graduated, and for the first time

653
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 1: I could appreciate the lyrics. I recognized she was singing

654
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 1: about her suicide attempt. Yes, the lyrics described when it

655
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,480
Speaker 1: all went wrong back when we lived in l A

656
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:22,240
Speaker 1: came out with the brand new drugs and that sadded

657
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:29,440
Speaker 1: a pull up plug. I remember that last passage from

658
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 1: when she sang it at graduation. And while I was

659
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 1: furious when she ditched us, after all I learned about

660
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,879
Speaker 1: hoboes and what I just pulled off with the Bank

661
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: of America, I couldn't help but smile at how Ruby

662
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:44,319
Speaker 1: had made her escape. What a differenced those eight months made.

663
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 1: But the lyrics had some brightness. When Moby looked ahead,

664
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,919
Speaker 1: when she imagined the world beyond high school, she was optimistic.

665
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 1: And when that bropriate you places away from me. I

666
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,320
Speaker 1: can't remember how many times I listened to Santa Monica,

667
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: and it had to be at least ten, with pauses

668
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 1: in between. After I opened a bottle of wine. Every

669
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 1: time I listened to it, I felt as though I

670
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 1: knew her better, she had been in such pain more

671
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:22,839
Speaker 1: than I ever saw. Look what I've done made up.

672
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 1: Ruby was gone and only she would decide when to

673
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 1: come back. And I was supposed to move in a week.

674
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:41,359
Speaker 1: I had a lot to do. The problem was most

675
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,880
Speaker 1: of that ship wasn't getting done. Every time I started

676
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 1: the dining room table to figure out my life, I

677
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,359
Speaker 1: just end up gazing out at the lake, and then

678
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 1: nothing would happen but memories, the joy of moving into

679
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: this beautiful place with the money from a book deal,

680
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 1: and the comfort of being back where I was born,

681
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 1: watching Ruby thrive in her new school, and then embracing

682
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 1: her fascinating eating friends that kept showing up for dinner.

683
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 1: All of that tinge with a golden light reflected from

684
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,719
Speaker 1: the lake had come to this me. Hunting through Craigslist,

685
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:09,959
Speaker 1: trying to find an apartment to share at the age

686
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: of fifty three, I scrolled to the very end of

687
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 1: the listings without finding anything suited to me. I hadn't

688
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 1: looked for a place in the Bay Area in five years,

689
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 1: not since two thousand and four, and the tech boom

690
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,879
Speaker 1: had sent rental prices skyward. I couldn't afford to pay

691
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 1: three thousand, five hundred dollars for a one bedroom apartment,

692
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to live next door to somebody

693
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 1: who could. Then I saw a room for rent at

694
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:38,520
Speaker 1: a place called the Barn. The six d and fifty

695
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 1: dollars a month, I could get a big room on

696
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 1: the top floor of a former shipbuilding warehouse facing the

697
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 1: San Francisco Bay. I called them up and the landlord,

698
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 1: Michael Hammond, gave me perfect directions. Head south toward the

699
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:53,879
Speaker 1: abandoned shipyard just below the housing projects, and turned left

700
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 1: at the Headless Horse. It was a steve drop down

701
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 1: a perilous road to the rough pay and of the

702
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,919
Speaker 1: barn parking lot, where half a dozen people were going

703
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 1: about some unusual business. And as steep as it was,

704
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 1: this fall from Grace was turning out to be a

705
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 1: lot more interesting than I expected. There was a man

706
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 1: loading up a life sized version of the children's game

707
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,400
Speaker 1: The Mouse Trap onto a truck, and a woman dressed

708
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:21,719
Speaker 1: in full belly dancing attire entering her car. It felt

709
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,799
Speaker 1: like I'd dropped down off the main road and into

710
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 1: a staging area for burning man, but I'd found the

711
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 1: Barn and Michael greeted me at the top of the

712
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 1: stairs and showed me around the kitchen and party space.

713
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 1: It had a dining room table that could easily seat sixteen,

714
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:39,799
Speaker 1: all of it with an unobstructed view of the bay. Amazing.

715
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: I asked Michael about the mail, which was bulging out

716
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 1: of the box at the top of the hill next

717
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 1: to the headless horse statue. Who brought it down from

718
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:51,520
Speaker 1: up there? Anybody can? He said, somebody goes to get

719
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 1: it whenever they're expecting a check, which is not very often.

720
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 1: What a stroke of luck. I'd found the barn, the

721
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,359
Speaker 1: last place in San franc Cisco where money didn't seem

722
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 1: to matter. This was it. I didn't hesitate in saying

723
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 1: I'd take it, and Michael agreed. He said I'd fit

724
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 1: right in, and I took that as a compliment. So

725
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:15,360
Speaker 1: I had a place, a place to hunker down to rebuild.

726
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 1: Hope has had it right. Sure, I wasn't going to

727
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 1: hop a train, but I'm happy to live with a

728
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 1: whole bunch of people and not spend much money. Now,

729
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 1: all I had to do was to get rid of

730
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 1: my stuff. I was under the illusion that because I

731
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 1: liked my stuff, it had value I was about to

732
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 1: get a rude shock about that. In the open market

733
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:38,800
Speaker 1: of Craig's list, I put up the teak patio furniture

734
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:40,919
Speaker 1: I bought for two thousand dollars. When I got hired

735
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 1: at people for the bargain price of five hundred, someone

736
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 1: offered me three hundred. I said, fuck you. Fuck you

737
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,800
Speaker 1: is not a negotiating strategy. I was so emotional about

738
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 1: this practical transaction. It was as if they were commenting

739
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 1: on my value. After a few degrading days of this,

740
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 1: I decided I'd give it all away. I put up

741
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,920
Speaker 1: an ad that said it's all free, and at nine

742
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 1: am the next day, they were a dozen people waiting

743
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 1: on the front steps. A studious Middle Eastern girl and

744
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 1: her family were delighted by Ruby's bedroom set. I was

745
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: thrilled when the girl opened the door to Ruby's room

746
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 1: and exclaimed, Mommy, I love that desk. A Mexican family

747
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 1: who had been burned out of their apartment took most

748
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 1: of my kitchen, including the stoneware dishes from my wedding.

749
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,319
Speaker 1: But the best moment for me was when a young

750
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 1: single mom and her two kids, a boy and a girl,

751
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 1: were smitten with the beat up old oak dining room

752
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 1: table I was so attached to. They sat at it,

753
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:38,400
Speaker 1: and the mom rubbed its edges, the divids, and the

754
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 1: and the scratches. Do the chairs come with it, the

755
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 1: chairs and the hatch, if you'll have it? I said,

756
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 1: thank you. She said, this is just what we need.

757
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 1: And while all these strangers cheerfully stripped my apartment bear,

758
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 1: I said a silent thank you to Ruby. In some way,

759
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:59,959
Speaker 1: after this visit, I was set free. I was lighter

760
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,880
Speaker 1: on the ground with most of my possessions gone, and

761
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:05,320
Speaker 1: I was lighter by acknowledging how the comfort I offered

762
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 1: Ruby and my gin d up comfort offensive was something

763
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,880
Speaker 1: she had no use for. And I had been a

764
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:14,840
Speaker 1: big phony to Chicken to discuss how she was living

765
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,919
Speaker 1: her life and acting like that was noble. I wasn't

766
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 1: telling her about my book getting canceled, and soon I

767
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: wouldn't be living in this apartment, And the fact that

768
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,359
Speaker 1: she had not answered any of my questions showed there

769
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 1: was a lot about her life she didn't think I

770
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 1: should know. We both had secrets to protect. But I

771
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:33,399
Speaker 1: had to let this go and release both of us

772
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:37,319
Speaker 1: from my worries. It would be a process, though, and

773
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 1: in the nights after she left, I would sit on

774
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,600
Speaker 1: the couch and listen to her music over and over.

775
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,799
Speaker 1: There was another song on that CD that stuck with me,

776
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,360
Speaker 1: one that I played almost as much as Santa Monica,

777
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 1: called windows sell Ip sitting on your window sill. The

778
00:45:53,719 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 1: daytime was getting colder, and a field sill night time windows.

779
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 1: So the lyrics reminded me that when I cleaned Ruby's

780
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 1: room before Christmas, I'd noticed the screen was off her window,

781
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 1: stashed in the corner of the closet, and they were

782
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,840
Speaker 1: shoeprints on the window sill itself. Ruby had wanted to

783
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 1: go long before I realized it, and now am I

784
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 1: packed up empty apartment. My life was down to the

785
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 1: necessities my bed, my desk, and some boxes. In that void.

786
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 1: I wondered if maybe Ruby had been right to stay away,

787
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 1: to keep our interactions minimal and positive. No opportunities for

788
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:37,400
Speaker 1: my questions or lectures, no temper tantrums, none of that

789
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:40,719
Speaker 1: would bring her closer to me. She had lived with

790
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,960
Speaker 1: me for eighteen years. She knew what I valued and expected.

791
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:47,759
Speaker 1: A bit of me remained inside her, and that was

792
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 1: what I believed would bring her back. Yeah, I think

793
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:54,479
Speaker 1: it's the right time. Only she could tell me when

794
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:03,239
Speaker 1: whoa to be my so. I knew Ruby would come

795
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 1: home when it suited her, and I couldn't predict how

796
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 1: long she'd be away. The best I could do was

797
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 1: wait and keep making contacts, keep learning. One day they

798
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:14,799
Speaker 1: might come in handy, because after all, I'm a journalist,

799
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: an independent of Ruby. This is one hell of a story,

800
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:22,799
Speaker 1: a story that has never been fully told. Who really

801
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 1: runs the train yard? To answer this, I knew who

802
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 1: I had to talk to, the rail cops. I never

803
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,240
Speaker 1: expected the city of the rails to have a private

804
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 1: police force. And the more I learned, the more shocked

805
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:37,839
Speaker 1: I was. We're bulls, we do what we want. We're

806
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 1: in control. We can outdo anybody, FBI, anybody. The rail

807
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 1: police are not just rent a cops. They have full

808
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:50,240
Speaker 1: police powers and national jurisdiction and state. We're FEDS to

809
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 1: being out bolt and there's no public scrutiny, thank you none.

810
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 1: So next time, going to El Paso, right up against Mexico.

811
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:02,719
Speaker 1: It's a major fraid hub and the international border, which

812
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 1: makes it a crossroads for hobo smugglers and thieves and

813
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 1: the perfect place to see what rail cops are all about.

814
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 1: It's kind of like walking into another dimension, another world.

815
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:16,319
Speaker 1: He just took off. You know, I need your ride

816
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 1: in the rail like you know what. These chicks were

817
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 1: as tough as nails. They knew the game, They had

818
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 1: the attitude, and they were not afraid say Montica Sica

819
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 1: fourteen as well be drinking gasol. Look what you've done.

820
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 1: City of the Rail is written and hosted by me

821
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,319
Speaker 1: to L Morton and developed in partnership between Flip Turn

822
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 1: Studios and I Heeart Podcasts. Thank you to everyone who's

823
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 1: been calling us and giving us great tips and sharing memories.

824
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:14,839
Speaker 1: We want more. Leave a message at seven oh seven, six, five,

825
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 1: three oh three nine. You just might end up on

826
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 1: the show. A lot of you been saying you love

827
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 1: the music. Well, I've got a treat for you. I'm

828
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 1: sharing my playlist of modern hobo music. The link will

829
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,800
Speaker 1: be in the show notes. Our team is executive producer

830
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:32,240
Speaker 1: and show runner Julian Weller and executive producer Mark Healey.

831
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:36,839
Speaker 1: Senior producer and editing master A Booza far I miss

832
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 1: a Boo He's gone on to another show, but I

833
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:41,439
Speaker 1: just wanted to say tip of the hat to you

834
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 1: for being the only person I've ever written with who

835
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 1: can replicate my sense of humor. And producers Emilie Maronough,

836
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:50,480
Speaker 1: she no Ozaki, and Zoey Denkla. Shout out to My

837
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:54,760
Speaker 1: Lady Squad with production support from Marcy to Pina. Original

838
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:58,239
Speaker 1: music every episode by Aaron Kaufman. Our theme music is

839
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:01,760
Speaker 1: Wayfaring Stranger, performed by pro Faint Sass thanks to Scott

840
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 1: Michaud at Flail Records. Our logo is by Lucy Kingdonia

841
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,960
Speaker 1: and uses a photograph by Mike Brody and at I

842
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:12,439
Speaker 1: Heart thanks to Nikki e Tor and Bethan Michaloso. We'll

843
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 1: be back next week in Texas on the City of

844
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:15,720
Speaker 1: the Rails.