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Speaker 1: All right, here we go. What would you talk about

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Speaker 1: on your on your podcast? Represents nothing wrong with just

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Speaker 1: Brody and I hanging out with you. I feel like

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Speaker 1: we're missing things, like, yeah, but she's a she's in court.

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Speaker 1: She's in court. What she didn't do anything? She's going

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Speaker 1: for duty telling everyone they're guilty. Wait, let's play a game.

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Speaker 1: So if Bethany was in court right now, why do

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Speaker 1: you think she was in court? Why? Yeah, like crazy theory,

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Speaker 1: why Bethany would be in court right now. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what she's suing her landlord, he's always got problems

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Speaker 1: with where she lives. Always, I think interfering on her

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Speaker 1: murder case because she's so into and she's into those

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Speaker 1: stories that she saw. I saw one happening on the

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Speaker 1: streets of New York City and became a detective and

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Speaker 1: just interfered with the case. She was witnessed to a crime,

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Speaker 1: and I could absolutely see her tailing somebody. Yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: nailing somebody, hailing, nailing the same thing, nailing in the

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Speaker 1: tailing fifteen minute morning show I've been running. My name

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Speaker 1: is Garrett, along with Danielle and Dave Brody. What is

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Speaker 1: your problem? Brody's making fun of me, He said, stupid.

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Speaker 1: I said, hold on, hold on, I said, I was

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Speaker 1: making fun of people. And then this is what I

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Speaker 1: don't understand. If you say, like, oh, you know, those

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Speaker 1: people are such idiots, you're not supposed to go, hey,

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Speaker 1: I do that. You keep it quiet. You don't say

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Speaker 1: I'm one of those idiots. So I was saying, I

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Speaker 1: was at Walmart yesterday, Walmart. I was at Walmart getting

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Speaker 1: getting getting my Halloween decorations for next year because they're

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Speaker 1: all like off right, and I noticed they're selling black

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Speaker 1: and orange storage bins. Black. Can't you just write Halloween

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Speaker 1: on the bin? Why do you need you have to

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Speaker 1: have Halloween called bins? Yes, because it's easier for me

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Speaker 1: when I put it in the storage that you know,

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Speaker 1: if I put it underneath the storage thing or in

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Speaker 1: my attic, I know. Okay, there's the orange and black

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Speaker 1: ben's that's the Halloween bins. For Christmas, I have green

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Speaker 1: and red because then I go in my attic and

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Speaker 1: I go the green and red bins mean Christmas death.

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Speaker 1: It's easier for me. All the bins come in blue. Sofonika,

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Speaker 1: I just already got blue bins. We have that figured

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Speaker 1: out you don't celebrate Christmas. Would you buy Christmas things

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Speaker 1: at the store if they're half off? Yeah, that's a

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Speaker 1: quandary for me as a Jewish. I'm Jewish, but they're

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Speaker 1: half off. I also don't get why people love the

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Speaker 1: Container Store. I get it's a it's a fabulous store

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Speaker 1: with containers, but people they have people go crazy overgoing

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Speaker 1: to the Daniel. Are you that excited to put things

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Speaker 1: in containers? I like the organization when it comes to

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Speaker 1: putting away my decorations because I just like to know

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Speaker 1: where everything is for next year. So they opened up

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Speaker 1: a container store near my house and as a shake

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Speaker 1: shack across the parking lot. So the shake shack had

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Speaker 1: like an hour weight. So I'm like, all right, let's

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Speaker 1: go over the container store. Just open kill some time.

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Speaker 1: There was a woman buying a large container and then

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Speaker 1: she was putting little containers in it. She wanted to

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Speaker 1: see if the big container was the right size to

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Speaker 1: hold all her small containers. She bought a container container.

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Speaker 1: You got a problem when you're buying a container container.

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Speaker 1: It's amazing to me how many things for organization the

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Speaker 1: container store has. But it's amazing. Have you noticed that

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Speaker 1: people who buy containers are the most unorganized people. They

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Speaker 1: have so much crapping he containers for By the way,

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Speaker 1: you ruined Destinel for me this coming weekend. Larry David's

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Speaker 1: hosting and all I hear now during the promos or

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Speaker 1: see is you? I don't. I don't see Larry David.

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Speaker 1: I don't hear Larry David. If you listen to the

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Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boys podcast. By the way, thank you very much

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Speaker 1: for those of you who do, because our numbers were

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Speaker 1: huge this month. We have a good month. Um. I

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Speaker 1: ranted last week. Um about the last week? I rant?

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Speaker 1: I have a rant every week. Did he steal in

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Speaker 1: my stick? So the first episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Um,

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Speaker 1: he was having a problem with the soap dispenser in

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Speaker 1: the shower and he was pumping it nothing. I couldn't

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Speaker 1: get the thing to pump. There's one of those fancy

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Speaker 1: bed bath and beyond show up dispensers, right, and he's

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Speaker 1: like pumping it and he had to break it in

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Speaker 1: half to get the soap out. Okay, the soap dispenser

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Speaker 1: in the bathroom out by our front desk by Anita,

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Speaker 1: same problem. In fact, I have a joke with her.

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Speaker 1: I said, Hey, Anita, if anyone asks where the worst

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Speaker 1: soap dispenser in the world is, it says, I know

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Speaker 1: it's in there. Right. If you remember when Scary took

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Speaker 1: me to my steak dinner, which he didn't pay for,

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Speaker 1: stows me a steak dinner, steak dinner, he walked in,

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Speaker 1: hold on, I put him in my storage containers. I

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Speaker 1: have a mental storage container that I got the mental

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Speaker 1: container store. Scary cut me off and ran to the

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Speaker 1: table and got the best seat. And I made it

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Speaker 1: a point on our podcast and on the Big Show

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Speaker 1: to point out that when you're taking someone to dinner,

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Speaker 1: they should have the best seat. They should get the

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Speaker 1: first choice. And I said, you do that with your girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: He says, yeah, I like to sit facing the door

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Speaker 1: to old mafia thing growing up in Brooklyn. Right, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so on curb your enthusiasm. Last week, Richard Lewis gets

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Speaker 1: to the restaurant a half hour early every time they're

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Speaker 1: gonna meet for lunch, so you can get the better seat.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you, Larry David is now ripping me off.

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Speaker 1: So you think Larry David is listening, I think he's

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Speaker 1: listening to the Brooklyn Boys podcast and following me on Twitter.

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Speaker 1: But even so I cannot watch s. And now the

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Speaker 1: promos just came out with Larry David Miley Cyrus on

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Speaker 1: an elevator and all I see is Brody and Miley Cyrus. Okay,

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Speaker 1: don't see Larry David anymore. You ruin Larry David. Larry

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Speaker 1: David ripped me off again in the promo he and

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Speaker 1: Miley Cyrus you can't get on the elevator and he says, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm getting him own elevator, and she's what are you doing?

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Speaker 1: He goes, like my own elevator. I like my own elevator.

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Speaker 1: I will wait. I let other people go so I

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Speaker 1: can get that. You ever said that before where he

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Speaker 1: would have ripped you off? Or was that in your head?

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Speaker 1: And you think, I think it's in my head, your head?

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Speaker 1: I think you know what. I think. I think he's

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Speaker 1: part of the same aura and he senses it. I

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Speaker 1: think the areas are tied together. Well, either that or

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Speaker 1: just crotchety jew we got that going for us. And

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Speaker 1: by the way, I am one, so don't tweet me

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Speaker 1: that I have offensive I'm a crotch. Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: But I'm crotching in a fun way. I'm lovable. He's

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Speaker 1: not see I don't like Larry David. I don't find

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Speaker 1: you like me. I like you, but I don't find

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Speaker 1: Larry David like I won't watch us because watch but Daniel.

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Speaker 1: Watch SNL this weekend, But just for the sweaking, for

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Speaker 1: this experiment, you will not see Timberlake is on it.

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Speaker 1: I will watch, but you will not see Larry. I'm

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Speaker 1: telling you will not see Larry David anymore. You'll see David.

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Speaker 1: And here's another thing. Bernie Sanders is in New York

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Speaker 1: this week. He was riding the subways on Monday, and

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Speaker 1: then he did um. I think he did Seth Myers

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Speaker 1: in one of the shows. So what do you think

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Speaker 1: he's gonna be honest, I think maybe he's on I

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Speaker 1: think Larry DAVIDI do like a thing with him again. Hey,

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Speaker 1: how far have you gone to save your cell phone? Daniel?

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Speaker 1: What do you mean, like like if you were to

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Speaker 1: like if you lost your cell phone or like it

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Speaker 1: it's somewhere, you know, in a weird place, Like what's

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Speaker 1: the craziest thing you've done to kind of I fished

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Speaker 1: it out of the toilet so you dropped it in

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Speaker 1: the toilet and you decided I need to get this

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Speaker 1: out of the of course you have to say, And

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Speaker 1: I put it in rice And actually it was okay

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Speaker 1: for your post use. No, no, no, it was clean.

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Speaker 1: But even if it wasn't a clean toilet. I think

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Speaker 1: I would go there anyway. Still, I get that, because

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Speaker 1: I mean, you can't leave the cell phone in there

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Speaker 1: all day. Um, I had to get my wife's fly

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Speaker 1: out of the toilet because women dropped their phones in

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Speaker 1: the toilet more than men do. I know why that is,

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Speaker 1: but that's for a different podcasts. I did ride a

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Speaker 1: train an hour and a half. There's nothing block in

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Speaker 1: it and just dropped. Well, they keep them in their

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Speaker 1: back pocket, and then don't we keep it in the

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Speaker 1: front pocket usually so that it falls forward. It falls

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Speaker 1: into my underwear when you sit down. Mine just happened.

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Speaker 1: So you know how you walk to your car and

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Speaker 1: you cross over sixth Avenue and you go from rat

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Speaker 1: Park over by the pharmacy, so and there's that crosswalk.

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Speaker 1: I was walking through that crosswalk to the other side

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Speaker 1: to to go to my car to get something, and

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Speaker 1: my phone fell out of my pocket. I only realized

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Speaker 1: when I got to the other side of the sidewalk.

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Speaker 1: So what do I do? Idiotically? I go back into

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Speaker 1: the crosswalk as a bus of tourists are coming up

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Speaker 1: my direction, and the only superpowers I could think of

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Speaker 1: is to put my hand up to say, stole, superhand, superhand.

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Speaker 1: What happened the bus stock? Obviously the phone was out,

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Speaker 1: and I kind of timed it out after the fact.

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Speaker 1: The phone would have been all right because the bus

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Speaker 1: would have been right in the middle. Uh, and the

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Speaker 1: phone would be right and not have been No, I

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Speaker 1: would have been very flattened. But I just really after

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Speaker 1: the fact, I go I almost got run over by

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Speaker 1: a bus to save my phone. Now, did you think

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Speaker 1: about kicking it across the streets or be out of

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Speaker 1: the bus's way? No, because it was face up and

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Speaker 1: if I kicked it there would have been more damage

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Speaker 1: to it. Look a little chip on my case right

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Speaker 1: over there. When did this happen? Just you almost didn't

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Speaker 1: make it to this podcast? No, you guys would have

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Speaker 1: been sitting here and going what the hell is wrong

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Speaker 1: with Garrett? He said five minutes. You would be back

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Speaker 1: there like, hey, don't ride Garrett out, don't rum under

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Speaker 1: the bus. You are so lucky that they did. How

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Speaker 1: close did it get to you? What the bus? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I would say about five feet and like it wasn't

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Speaker 1: like one of those things where my nose was touching

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Speaker 1: the bus. You. I put my hand up like like

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Speaker 1: I'm going to stop this bus with my superpowers. He

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Speaker 1: did stop obviously because he saw me. But when you're here,

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Speaker 1: and thank god he wasn't texting. Yeah, I I guy

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Speaker 1: would have thought phone first, Yeah, I would. Yeah, that's what.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even think about my safety at that point.

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Speaker 1: I would not at that point. At the same point,

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Speaker 1: like if if if your phone fell into toilet after

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Speaker 1: you used it, you said you would go right in.

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Speaker 1: You wouldn't think about I don't know if I should

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Speaker 1: go into the toilet there was a poopy toilet. If

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Speaker 1: it was it was my poop, then I would do it.

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Speaker 1: If they're handed a glove on you, no, go right in.

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Speaker 1: Probably you would have to get it right away. There's

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Speaker 1: no right Like the other day, I was getting my

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Speaker 1: pedicure and it fell in the pedicure you know pool

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Speaker 1: thing right away. I grabbed it so fast and it

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Speaker 1: was fine. I put it in the rice and it

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Speaker 1: into the pedicure thing on it and answering, So you're

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Speaker 1: texting done? And I went right in and used this thing.

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Speaker 1: Everybody went. Does everybody understand is your phone resistance? It

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Speaker 1: is not. But the most amazing thing happened. It was fine,

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Speaker 1: and it was it went into I put it in

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Speaker 1: Rice just to be sure, and nothing happened to it.

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Speaker 1: He's here, Scotty. We're talking about the weird stuff you

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Speaker 1: would do to save your cell phone. Have you ever

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Speaker 1: anything ever happened to you? Like I almost got run

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Speaker 1: over by a bus. Danielle put her hand in poop

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Speaker 1: water to go get it. I did not say it

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Speaker 1: was poop water makes the story more fun. The only

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Speaker 1: thing that I remember happening is my phone fell through

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Speaker 1: my legs into the toilet and I grabbed the toilet again.

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Speaker 1: What was it doing? Between were watching porn. It's the

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Speaker 1: same thing that happened to the same thing happened to

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Speaker 1: me with a dollar coin a couple of weeks ago. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I know you went in for that. You went into

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Speaker 1: the Toiletlet you have a video. You have to First

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Speaker 1: of all, it was it was the half of me.

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Speaker 1: Listen to me, half of me did not want to

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Speaker 1: claude the pipes. You can't flush a dollar coin because

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Speaker 1: then I have to call a plumber. It's gonna be

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Speaker 1: a lot more than a dollar. That's that's that's the

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Speaker 1: thing you tell everyone. So it's like, oh, that makes sense,

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Speaker 1: but in reality, we know why you went into the

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Speaker 1: other half of me was like, I'm not flushing a

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Speaker 1: dollar and you know, okay, hold on, no, that's bigger.

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Speaker 1: That'll really understand. I'm saying, okay, quarter went off out

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Speaker 1: your quarter either penny maybe ye, So don't say it's

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Speaker 1: about the so. So I put on a rubber glove.

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Speaker 1: I went in and I got it. Wren't you already

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Speaker 1: wearing a rubber glove, dude? And then I rushed right

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Speaker 1: away and I put it in the self checkout land

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Speaker 1: of the supermarket. I just wanted to get rid of it,

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Speaker 1: you know. I didn't want to keep it in my house.

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Speaker 1: Danielle said she would if her phone fell into poop,

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Speaker 1: she would go right in right away, no thoughts. Just

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Speaker 1: if it was my poop it was someone else's poop,

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Speaker 1: I would question it. Well, you got to do it

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Speaker 1: really fast, because yeah, decision is right. Test the limits

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Speaker 1: of Danielle's mom nous it was your your son's poop, yeah,

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Speaker 1: because my poop is my poop. Your husband's poop, yeah,

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Speaker 1: your mother in love's poop was beautiful, beautiful. So it

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Speaker 1: seems like the toilet is the is the way that

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Speaker 1: I've gone in the trash before the dumpster of Wendy's,

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Speaker 1: because I put it on. It was on the tray,

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Speaker 1: and I put the tray in the trash and then

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Speaker 1: I left and and then once I got home. Only

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Speaker 1: then did I realized my phone was gone. I went

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Speaker 1: through the garbage in a fest food place for my

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Speaker 1: daughter's phone. Once I went through the two garbage pails

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Speaker 1: because we got to the car, She's like, I can't

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Speaker 1: find my phone. I think I was on the tray

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Speaker 1: and threw it out. I said, which garbage pail. There

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Speaker 1: were two next to each other. I don't remember. So

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Speaker 1: I went through both garbage pails and then she says, oh,

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Speaker 1: it was in my purse. Such a good dad. You

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Speaker 1: see the other one. What's the weirdest thing you've searched

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Speaker 1: for on YouTube? On YouTube? Like m HM, because the

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Speaker 1: story just came out that the CIA released all of

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Speaker 1: like bin Laden's like searches on online from his computer.

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Speaker 1: Aside from the the obvious things, he watched Charlie bit

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Speaker 1: my Finger. Remember the YouTube video where the little ki

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Speaker 1: my finger. I cannot see Bin Laden sitting behind the

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Speaker 1: computer watching Charlie bit my Finger. Now that he actually

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Speaker 1: searched for it, Like, yeah, it shows the YouTube Charlie

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Speaker 1: bit my Finger show to the r L and everything.

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Speaker 1: Maybe he was watching and he was like, what you

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Speaker 1: may like on the side to click that no suggested videos. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he likes to watch the kids coming out of the

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Speaker 1: dentist office want to crack up. I just found it weird,

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Speaker 1: like one of those like I don't see a guy

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Speaker 1: like that watching Charlie bit my finger. Yeah. Maybe that's

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Speaker 1: why he hated America. Maybe he thought he was getting

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Speaker 1: his finger bitten off and so he was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is a video for me. That's not what I wanted.

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Speaker 1: Maybe they'll do a documentary the softer side there there isn't.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, that's one of those weird things. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't I just don't see a guy like that

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Speaker 1: watching videos like that. What time is it? You got?

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Speaker 1: You got sixty seconds? You could fill the void with

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Speaker 1: six sixty seconds learned that you would go after your

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Speaker 1: phone for for any fecal manner, not for any fecal matter.

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Speaker 1: Family adding to the story, and that's like scary. Scary says,

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Speaker 1: if a hot girl PE's in the pool, he's fine

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Speaker 1: with it. But if a girl isn't attractive, P's in

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Speaker 1: the pool. You got video the co he's got his

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Speaker 1: glove on, to put her glove on, and they're poping there.

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Speaker 1: It's good. Well why did you film that? I want

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Speaker 1: to approve to everybody that I actually want to do it.

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Speaker 1: I think you need to get your poop check. By

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Speaker 1: the way, at Z Scottie B you can ask him

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Speaker 1: to send you the video on Twitter. I honestly think

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Speaker 1: you need to get your check. That fact that you

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Speaker 1: put a glove on, You put a glove on, and

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Speaker 1: then wait the one you want to see it. This

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Speaker 1: is who we work with, ladies. That good thing. He's attractive.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna vomit. I'm gonna get a container and then

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Speaker 1: vomit into the container. Green The Fifteen Minute Morning Show