1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:05,600 Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space burnout. 2 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:10,120 Speaker 2: When it's related to work, it's about our employer and 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:16,280 Speaker 2: our work environment. It is not about us as the individual. 4 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 1: Hope today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration, 5 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:26,080 Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments 6 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a 7 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also, 8 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe 9 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:42,159 Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatingheirspace dot com to access our 10 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab. 11 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:52,879 Speaker 2: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting 12 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 2: women like you. We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Bussard, a 13 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 2: college professor and psychologist. 14 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a 15 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 1: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please 16 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from 17 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:17,039 Speaker 1: fibroids to fake friends, and create a safe space where 18 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 1: black women can just be Hey, lady, it's Terry here 19 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,679 Speaker 1: from the Cultivating her Space podcast. I'm hosting a free 20 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,840 Speaker 1: podcasting masterclass where I'm going to teach you how to 21 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: create your impactful podcast and how you can generate multiple 22 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:38,119 Speaker 1: streams of income. You can visit podcast with Terry dot 23 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 1: com to register for free. I hope to see you there, Act. 24 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 2: Hold of the Day. All my life, I've been sick 25 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 2: and tired. Now I am sick and tired of being 26 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 2: sick and tired. That infamous quote is from Fanny lou Hamer, 27 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 2: and lady, if you don't know who's Fanny Lou Hammer is, 28 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 2: I need you to go and look her up right 29 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 2: now and learn about who she is and what she 30 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 2: did for us as black women. But this quote, I'm 31 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 2: gonna read it again for those of us in the back. 32 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:22,680 Speaker 2: All my life, I've been sick and tired. Now I'm 33 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,920 Speaker 2: sick and tired of being sick and tired. 34 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 3: Team, we're talking about burnout. 35 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 2: We're talking about being sick and tired, and being sick 36 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 2: and tired, or being sick and tired when you think 37 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 2: about burnout. Well, first I'm gonna give you some statistics 38 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 2: and then all right, all right, let me just let 39 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,360 Speaker 2: me let you work a little bit more. 40 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: Right, Okay, let's do it. 41 00:02:56,480 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 2: So, first thing, I want to point out is that 42 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 2: the World Health Organization defines burnout as an occupational hazard 43 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 2: and not a mental health condition. I'm gonna say that 44 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,959 Speaker 2: one more again because I know this is mind blowing 45 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 2: for some of us. Burnout is an occupational hazard and 46 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 2: not a mental health condition. Some statistics from Gallop sixty 47 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 2: three percent of folks who are burned out are more 48 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 2: likely to take a sick day. They are half as 49 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 2: likely to actually discuss their performance gos with their manager, 50 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 2: twenty three percent more likely to visit the emergency. 51 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 4: Room, two point six times as likely to leave their 52 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 4: current employer, and thirteen percent less confident in their performance. 53 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 2: So again, burnout is an occupational hazard and not a 54 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:24,479 Speaker 2: mental health condition. So Tee, when you think about burnout, 55 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,839 Speaker 2: what comes up for you? Have you ever been burned out? 56 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: Is that a questioned out? Is that a real question? 57 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 4: Girl? 58 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,159 Speaker 3: To put it out there, I'm like, what, you know? 59 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:38,679 Speaker 1: What's crazy? 60 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 5: Now? 61 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: As you share that? I think one as a side note, 62 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: I think I just need to have a good cry 63 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,600 Speaker 1: because my eyes have been so watery today and I 64 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: feel like as you were reading that, it kind of 65 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: made me teary eyed because I think about, yes, I've 66 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 1: experienced burnout, and for me, burnout was the norm, like 67 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: for so long that it was just like, this is 68 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:59,040 Speaker 1: what I do, you know, like I'm just working NonStop. 69 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,159 Speaker 1: Think about the women in my life that I saw, 70 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: even some of the men, the men and women I 71 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 1: saw in my life who just worked so hard all 72 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:12,040 Speaker 1: day at their day jobs or yeah, their place of 73 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 1: employment and then came home to do more work. And 74 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: so for me, when you said that, even before our episode, 75 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 1: I was like, Dom, I may just sit back and 76 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,839 Speaker 1: listen for this episode because I don't really I don't 77 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,719 Speaker 1: even know what I can say or contribute to this 78 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: conversation because it's been part of my I want to say, 79 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 1: routine for so long. And you know what, I'm looking 80 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: at psychology today and it says though it's often caused 81 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 1: by problems at work, it can also appear in other 82 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:38,839 Speaker 1: areas of life, such as parents and caretaking, who or 83 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:42,719 Speaker 1: romantic relationships. And I'm like, yes, I've seen this so 84 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: much in real like in daily life. But you know what, also, 85 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 1: to Dom, I think I one of the coping mechanisms 86 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 1: that I developed in childhood was numbing myself. And so 87 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,480 Speaker 1: I think a lot of times I did not necessarily 88 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: feel or confront the effects of burnout because I was 89 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 1: literally like numb, right, you know, you go to the 90 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 1: dentist and they numb your mouth, and then you're trying 91 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 1: to eat and you could be chewing on your tongue 92 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,280 Speaker 1: for all you know, and you don't know because you're like, oh, 93 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 1: I'm numb. I don't feel it until it wears off 94 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: and you're like, oh damn, I've been my tongue is gone. 95 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: I didn't you, Like, you don't realize it until after that. 96 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,479 Speaker 1: You know that coping mechanism wears off. So, yeah, girl, 97 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,279 Speaker 1: burn out is real. What about you? Have you experienced burnout? 98 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 2: I have experienced burnout, Like I mean, yes, yeah, you know. 99 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:41,480 Speaker 2: I mean honestly, Like, if I from a historical perspective, 100 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 2: I think about black folks as a collective right that 101 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 2: if there's a black person who says that they have 102 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:55,600 Speaker 2: never been burned out, I need to know who they 103 00:06:55,600 --> 00:07:00,160 Speaker 2: are and I need to know what their life circumstances are, 104 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:06,039 Speaker 2: because all of us, at some point in life will 105 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 2: experience burnout. And again, like you said, the most common 106 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:17,400 Speaker 2: experience is on the job, but that also burned out 107 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 2: also happens in all of those other situations that you named, 108 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 2: So from parenting to care taking to romantic relationships, all 109 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 2: of that takes place, right, And so how do we 110 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 2: know we're burned out? So the easiest signs for us 111 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 2: to know, one we're depleted or exhausted. Two we're mentally 112 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 2: distant from our job, or we have negative feelings or 113 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 2: cynicism about our job. 114 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 3: Three we have. 115 00:07:55,760 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 2: Reduced professional efficacy, so we're less effective at our job. 116 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 2: And those aren't all the signs. So what are some 117 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 2: other things that come up for you that when you 118 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 2: think about times when you've been burned out? What are 119 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 2: some of the signs to let you know that that's happening. 120 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: Oh, okay, I'm going to think about that question, don 121 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: but I wanted to ask you, can we because I 122 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 1: feel like many of us get tired right I'm like, oh, 123 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: I'm so exhausted. What does it actually look like in 124 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: action in your opinion, to be depleted or exhausted? Like, 125 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 1: I'm assuming that when you're burnt out, it's more of 126 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 1: a routine. It's not like a like today I'm tired. 127 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,680 Speaker 1: I'm tired today I've had a really long day and 128 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:37,440 Speaker 1: then we record in you know, bulk episodes. But I 129 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,200 Speaker 1: don't feel like I'm burnt out. So what would you 130 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,440 Speaker 1: say is, like, what does it look like in action 131 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: for you to be depleted and exhausted? 132 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 2: So to be depleted and exhausted is a constant state 133 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:53,840 Speaker 2: of tiredness. Right, So in academia, I would say that 134 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 2: there are seasons and for students and faculty and staff 135 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 2: where towards the end of the semester some of us 136 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 2: are burned out. And so then what that looks like 137 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 2: is it's the last week of the semester or the 138 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 2: quarter or the second couple of last weeks. And this 139 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 2: is where you're supposed to be pushing through because you 140 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 2: have finals. But you at the end of every day 141 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 2: or you wake up feeling tired. Damn, you wake up tired. 142 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:32,240 Speaker 2: So even if you're getting seven hours of sleep, you 143 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 2: still wake up feeling tired. And it's happening every single 144 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 2: day for multiple days in a row. If you're feeling depleted, 145 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 2: you're feeling like, Okay, I'm just showing up because they 146 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 2: told me I had to be here, Like I'm not 147 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:58,000 Speaker 2: really giving anything because I don't have anything to give. Right, 148 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 2: you know when I talk about our cups being full, 149 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 2: when you're depleted, you're at the point where there is 150 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 2: nothing left in your cup, so you're scraping at the 151 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 2: bottom trying to get something that's depleted. You're like, I 152 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:21,200 Speaker 2: have no energy left. I'm tired every day, but I 153 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 2: still have to show up and take this exam or 154 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 2: give this presentation, or teach this class, or lead this meeting. 155 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 2: And it's a constant. It's happening every day. Because you're right, 156 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:45,960 Speaker 2: we will have times where, Okay, I traveled out of 157 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,560 Speaker 2: town for the week, I went out of town for 158 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:52,839 Speaker 2: the weekend, right, and maybe I come back on maybe 159 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 2: I came back early Monday morning and then went right 160 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 2: to work. Well by the end of that day, yeah, 161 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 2: I'm probably tired, not because I'm burned out, but because 162 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,319 Speaker 2: I didn't get enough rest exactly. 163 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 1: Yep, that makes sense, and I'm glad that you said that. 164 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: I've definitely experienced that. 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Let me just be real with y'all. 226 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,040 Speaker 5: Let's have it on this moment, so come in close 227 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,600 Speaker 5: with this one. I noticed that I have a habit 228 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,000 Speaker 5: of I'll do really really well with like self care 229 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,640 Speaker 5: and with setting boundaries and taking care of myself. And 230 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 5: then sometimes I'll give you an example as well. I 231 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 5: don't really replenish until i'm on e and I've actually 232 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,640 Speaker 5: done that in my car before years ago, very embarrassing, 233 00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,480 Speaker 5: ran out of gas on the freeway because I was. 234 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,760 Speaker 1: Just like, oh, I'm almost there. I could make it, 235 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 1: and then I was on the side of the road. 236 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 1: It had to call triple A because I was just 237 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,120 Speaker 1: trying to push it. And I do that regularly in 238 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 1: real life. And so, for instance, I remember starting a 239 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,200 Speaker 1: new job and it was the first day and I 240 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 1: was trying to tackle all the things you know, on 241 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 1: the new hire checklist, and I want to do all 242 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:19,280 Speaker 1: the things, and I didn't really eat as much as 243 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,400 Speaker 1: I should have ate, and I felt the little inkling 244 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:22,840 Speaker 1: of a headache coming on, but I was like, well, 245 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,640 Speaker 1: I'm drinking my water. I had this little thing. And 246 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 1: then I talked to someone who's close to me and 247 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 1: they were like, can you make sure you eat today? 248 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, damn, I'm about to go 249 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 1: eat now. So I did take that time to do that. 250 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 1: So I would say for me, that's definitely one of 251 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 1: the ways in which it shows up is sometimes it's 252 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:44,920 Speaker 1: like hyperactivity for me is a sign that burnout is coming. 253 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 1: It's like, hello, pay attention. 254 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 2: Yes, I think that's a great sign, right of paying attention, 255 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 2: knowing yourself right and knowing what is coming up, right. 256 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:01,920 Speaker 2: I think you know. Another sign for some folks is 257 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 2: you're not engaging. So you talked about like some doing 258 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 2: the self care things like making sure you're eating, make 259 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 2: sure you're hydrated. So in general, when you stop doing 260 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 2: multiple self care strategies or multiple things within your routine, 261 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:26,000 Speaker 2: that is a sign of burnout, right, Like I think 262 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 2: about for myself, Like there are times again going back 263 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 2: to working in academia, there are times in the semester 264 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:39,040 Speaker 2: or quarter where things are hectic and my time is tight, 265 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 2: and so I might not exercise every morning because sleep 266 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 2: is more important to me. Getting those extra getting that 267 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 2: extra half hour to forty five minutes of sleep is 268 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:58,200 Speaker 2: more important on that morning than getting the exercise in. Right, 269 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 2: But you see what I did there, I eliminated one 270 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:10,439 Speaker 2: self care to enhance another self care. Now, there have 271 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,960 Speaker 2: been times in life, because I'm ever evolving, there have 272 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,480 Speaker 2: been times in life when I was going through burnout 273 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:22,639 Speaker 2: and I wasn't getting the sleep, and I still wasn't exercising, 274 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:26,160 Speaker 2: So it wasn't like I was replacing one self care 275 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 2: activity for another. I was completely neglecting the self care 276 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:35,880 Speaker 2: altogether and neglecting the self care to be more productive 277 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:39,720 Speaker 2: at work. And that's a sign of burnout. 278 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,040 Speaker 1: I wanted to something that you said down just made 279 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,119 Speaker 1: me think of something and it made me think about 280 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,159 Speaker 1: it kind of relates to what I shared before. But 281 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 1: you ever have a desire to just go go go 282 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,360 Speaker 1: run around around, maybe you have a big task of projects, 283 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 1: and I think sometimes in my mind that'll happen. Like 284 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:57,600 Speaker 1: I have this thing that I want to focus on 285 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,040 Speaker 1: in my mind, I desire to get it done and 286 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,000 Speaker 1: like X amount of time, knowing damn well that it's 287 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,560 Speaker 1: going to take away longer, and so I just grind, grind, grind, 288 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,480 Speaker 1: and I totally forget about self care and all the 289 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,439 Speaker 1: things because I really want to get this thing done. 290 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,880 Speaker 1: But then this thing continues to linger, and it's like, girl, 291 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 1: this is going to take a couple of weeks. And 292 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,200 Speaker 1: so sometimes I'll go into this phase of like, Okay, 293 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 1: well I'm not going to take care of myself for 294 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 1: a couple of weeks because I want to get this 295 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,879 Speaker 1: thing done. So not healthy. But can you relate to 296 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 1: that as well. 297 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,960 Speaker 2: Yes, So that's the thing that we'll do, right, that 298 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:32,639 Speaker 2: we'll punish ourselves right that because we are burned out, 299 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 2: and we have been socialized as a culture to believe 300 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:41,120 Speaker 2: that burnout is our personal responsibility instead of the onus 301 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,880 Speaker 2: being on our employer. When burnout is related to work, 302 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:52,120 Speaker 2: what ends up happening is we punish ourselves. And so 303 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,000 Speaker 2: and yes, I've done that too, right where I punish 304 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:59,919 Speaker 2: myself because you have this task or this project that 305 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,679 Speaker 2: needs to get done, and because I'm avoiding doing the 306 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,439 Speaker 2: task for the project because really that's the problem, the 307 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 2: task for the project, right, because I'm avoiding that task 308 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,199 Speaker 2: or projects. 309 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,879 Speaker 3: For whatever the reason is, and I'm gonna have. 310 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 2: To eventually tap into what's causing me avoidance, but I'm 311 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 2: avoiding it. And so because I know that I have 312 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:29,119 Speaker 2: this thing hanging over my head, that this task that 313 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:36,360 Speaker 2: needs to get completed, I'm going to not allow myself 314 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 2: to do the things that I might deem as fun. 315 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 3: Or enjoyable. 316 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:49,439 Speaker 2: Because the rationale is, well, if I can't do task A, 317 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 2: then I if I'm saying I don't have time for 318 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,040 Speaker 2: task A, then that means I shouldn't have time for 319 00:19:56,119 --> 00:20:02,280 Speaker 2: the fun things over here. That's interesting myself for not 320 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:03,439 Speaker 2: completing the task. 321 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,920 Speaker 1: I never even looked at it that way. I think 322 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to reflect on that more because I 323 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 1: know sometimes I have so much fun, like it might 324 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,680 Speaker 1: be like a personal project. I have so much fun 325 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 1: doing it that I'm like, I don't want to do 326 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,480 Speaker 1: anything else but this thing, and I just get wrapped 327 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 1: up in it. But I'm going to have to explore 328 00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 1: that more because I never looked at it as you 329 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,400 Speaker 1: could be punishing yourself and saying, hey, because you didn't 330 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 1: get this done, we're not going to do these other things. 331 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:31,520 Speaker 1: So that is definitely that's something to think about. Okay, now, burnout. 332 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 3: Listen, burnout out real. It is real. 333 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 2: And you know, I want to go back to the 334 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:44,040 Speaker 2: point that I made earlier about burnout not being about us, right, 335 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,360 Speaker 2: So that was some double negatives in there. So let 336 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:52,119 Speaker 2: me clarify for the people burnout when it's related to work, 337 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:58,320 Speaker 2: it's about our employer and our work environment. It is 338 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:02,880 Speaker 2: not about us as the individual. And you know, there 339 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 2: are a lot of articles out there that talk about burnout, 340 00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 2: talk about the millennial generation being the generation, the burnout generation. 341 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,399 Speaker 2: But I think the thing that I also want to 342 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:20,000 Speaker 2: acknowledge is that, particularly again for black folks, for Black 343 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:28,800 Speaker 2: women in particular, burnout is more likely. But also we 344 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:35,040 Speaker 2: are less likely to address our burnout. We have higher 345 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:41,160 Speaker 2: rates of just pushing through, which also leads to higher 346 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:47,360 Speaker 2: rates of health concerns. But again, I want to be clear, 347 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 2: this episode is not about pointing the finger in blaming 348 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:56,400 Speaker 2: black women. It's about let's look at this as a collective. 349 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:01,920 Speaker 2: What's been our collective experience and what are the ways 350 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:08,040 Speaker 2: in which our environments are causing this collective harm? 351 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,919 Speaker 1: That is really powerful, Domina, When you say that, it 352 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,920 Speaker 1: makes me think about getting clear on like the job 353 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 1: expectations ideally before we get into the role, to see 354 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 1: like what is the workplace culture, like, right, what is 355 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,360 Speaker 1: work life balance? Like what are some of the reasons 356 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,080 Speaker 1: for burnout? Like why people experience it. 357 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:30,160 Speaker 2: So particularly for black women, Like the top thing is 358 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 2: unfair treatment at work. So we've talked about on the 359 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:40,360 Speaker 2: podcast before what it's like to be black women existing 360 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,199 Speaker 2: in this world. Right, we talk about that all the 361 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,680 Speaker 2: time on various levels. But one of the things that 362 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,879 Speaker 2: we all know to be true is that oftentimes black 363 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:56,720 Speaker 2: women are experiencing unfair treatment in the workplace. So what 364 00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 2: that might look like are micro Russians, blatant racism, Layton sexism. 365 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:16,960 Speaker 2: And when someone is constantly being treated unfairly, particularly for 366 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:21,639 Speaker 2: us as black women, we might not feel empowered to 367 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:28,360 Speaker 2: speak up about it. Right, Let's say that we are 368 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:35,840 Speaker 2: an associated at a local department store and it's us 369 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:43,400 Speaker 2: and another coworker of a different race, and what I've 370 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 2: seen happen is that coworker says something to us microaggression. 371 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:57,399 Speaker 2: We respond back, We respond back in the tone that 372 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:03,480 Speaker 2: I am using right now, coworker hears it as why 373 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:08,240 Speaker 2: are you talking to me this way? And then now 374 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:13,360 Speaker 2: we are being called into the manager's or supervisor's office 375 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:18,359 Speaker 2: when the experience that we're being called in for is 376 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:24,960 Speaker 2: not real, right, So we're being gas lit and we're 377 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:30,119 Speaker 2: being discriminated against, and so that unfair treatment. So now 378 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:34,240 Speaker 2: we're put on a warning, we're put on probation. And 379 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:38,520 Speaker 2: let's say that we're at this job and this job 380 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,400 Speaker 2: is barely paying the bills as it is, so now 381 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:45,199 Speaker 2: we're stressed. Right, we have to come to work with 382 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,120 Speaker 2: this level of hypervigilance, and so we're receiving this unfair 383 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,120 Speaker 2: treatment at work. Maybe we're being passed up for promotion 384 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,800 Speaker 2: or you know, and so all of these things that 385 00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:02,399 Speaker 2: are happening that make work unbearable, but we need this job, 386 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 2: and so we keep showing up. 387 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,640 Speaker 3: Right. Another reason is. 388 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:16,640 Speaker 2: An unmanageable workload, and that still ties into the unfair treatment. Right, 389 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:22,960 Speaker 2: we're giving these unmanageable workloads. So let's say that you're 390 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:28,320 Speaker 2: in a space where, because this happens a lot to us, 391 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,120 Speaker 2: where you are the only black person in that room, 392 00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:38,639 Speaker 2: in that office, in that department, right, and so now 393 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:44,240 Speaker 2: all of a sudden, we are given all. 394 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,280 Speaker 3: Of the diversity work. 395 00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, we know experienced it, right, go ahead. 396 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,679 Speaker 1: It reminds me of how it was when we were 397 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:57,960 Speaker 1: in school back in the day. If you went to 398 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,000 Speaker 1: a prod like white school, and they would talk about 399 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,879 Speaker 1: slavery during Black History Month and then everybody will look 400 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,160 Speaker 1: at you like you were like there and you knew 401 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,119 Speaker 1: exactly what happened. That kind of reminds me of like 402 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,840 Speaker 1: a professional version of that experience, where it's like, oh, 403 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,000 Speaker 1: you're black, here's all the diversity efforts I just had. 404 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,480 Speaker 1: I had just said this, yeah, yes, and so then 405 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:15,080 Speaker 1: what yeah. 406 00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 2: So then that leads to barnow because now you're being 407 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:24,480 Speaker 2: given you and your counterpart, your white counterpart. Originally for 408 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:28,120 Speaker 2: the role you both are given ten tasks. Now you're 409 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:32,720 Speaker 2: given seventeen tasks with the same level of expectation as 410 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:37,200 Speaker 2: your white counterpart who still has the ten right. So 411 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:41,639 Speaker 2: then that leads to the next thing, lack of role clarity, 412 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,080 Speaker 2: and also ties into the fourth one, which is lack 413 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:49,360 Speaker 2: of communication and support from your manager. So you are 414 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 2: given these extra tasks because you are the diversity person 415 00:26:56,119 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 2: now and your manager did not communicate with you clearly 416 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:07,919 Speaker 2: or effectively on what it was exactly that they needed 417 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:11,800 Speaker 2: you to do with these additionals. Hask how they would 418 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:18,000 Speaker 2: support you in adding this additional workfload, and what are 419 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:23,439 Speaker 2: the consequences if these things do not get done? So 420 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 2: when there's lack of role clarity. Now, So now at 421 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,360 Speaker 2: this point, when you're given these extra things, your role 422 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:34,239 Speaker 2: needs to be redefined and your manager needs to be 423 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:38,639 Speaker 2: communicating with you about what the expectations are, what the 424 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:43,119 Speaker 2: deadlines are, and providing you would support so that you 425 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:48,400 Speaker 2: can succeed at your job. And then the last thing 426 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,920 Speaker 2: that they do that leads to burnout is they put 427 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 2: unreasonable time pressure. So now you have these seventeen things 428 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 2: compared to your coworkers ten, and you both have two 429 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:03,359 Speaker 2: months to get it all done, and you're left feeling stuck. Right, 430 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:06,320 Speaker 2: But again, let's step back and look at this. That 431 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,480 Speaker 2: you are feeling burned out not because of anything that 432 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 2: you as an individual did. You are feeling burned out 433 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,000 Speaker 2: because you are in a work environment where you are 434 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:26,439 Speaker 2: receiving unfair treatment, having an unmanageable workload, you have a 435 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 2: lack of clarity in your role, you have a lack 436 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,920 Speaker 2: of communication and support from your manager, and you are 437 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,600 Speaker 2: receiving unreasonable time prushure. 438 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,560 Speaker 1: This sounds like a toxic work environment, girl, And this 439 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:44,880 Speaker 1: sounds so stressful, lady. We're going to dive into how 440 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:50,520 Speaker 1: to care for self before and during and after the burnout, 441 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,479 Speaker 1: because god damn, that's a lot. Yes, I haven't even 442 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,880 Speaker 1: experienced that recently as I can think of down. I'm 443 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 1: just like, sheesh, that is stressful. 444 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 2: And it happens all the time. And I think the 445 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,160 Speaker 2: thing that I also that I want to continuously emphasize 446 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 2: is that it is not our individual responsibility to prevent 447 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 2: our own burnout. So there are a lot of articles 448 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 2: out there that talk about what you need to do 449 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:24,840 Speaker 2: to prevent burnout. And the reality, particularly for black women 450 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:29,440 Speaker 2: in the workplace, is that the prevention of burnout is 451 00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:34,040 Speaker 2: not on us. It is on our employer and how 452 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:37,160 Speaker 2: they set up the environment in which we are working. 453 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 2: And so the tips that we're providing are things that 454 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:46,200 Speaker 2: you do as an individual, for you, regardless of the 455 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 2: work situation that you were in. These are things that 456 00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:51,520 Speaker 2: work on a regular basis. These are things that we 457 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:55,080 Speaker 2: should all have as a part of our day to 458 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 2: day life routine. 459 00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 3: So t you ready to dive in. 460 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 1: Let's do it. Let's do it. So number one, I 461 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 1: feel like this is one that you've taught. You've stated before. 462 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,400 Speaker 1: Domin talked about this. Identify and focus on what's within 463 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:13,800 Speaker 1: your control. And I think that personal burnout that I 464 00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:16,240 Speaker 1: was referring to earlier is very different from this work 465 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:17,880 Speaker 1: burnout that you're a friend too. So I'm glad that 466 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 1: you made the emphasis and the distinction on lady, this 467 00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 1: is not your thing, like the job, they didn't get 468 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 1: their shit together right, yes, So focus on what you 469 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 1: can control. I'm just going to leave it that now. 470 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,600 Speaker 1: I'm sure you have more to elaborate on that one. 471 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, listen, the reality is that in these 472 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 2: in these situations, what you can control is internal. You 473 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,720 Speaker 2: can control you you can't right now, You're in a 474 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:47,120 Speaker 2: situation where you can't control your environment. And when we 475 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:51,920 Speaker 2: put our energy into trying to control the environment, that's 476 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,360 Speaker 2: when we get more burned out. That's when we get 477 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 2: anxious and streuss and so we want to focus on 478 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 2: ourselves and doing the things that take care of us. 479 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:06,800 Speaker 2: And so then that leads us to number two. Making 480 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 2: time for what brings you joy. So even in the 481 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:19,320 Speaker 2: most high stress period seasons in your life, you want 482 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,280 Speaker 2: to make time for the things that bring you joy. 483 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:30,040 Speaker 2: So if it's having that conversation with your daughter at 484 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:34,680 Speaker 2: the end of the workday, right, looking at her smile, right, 485 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,880 Speaker 2: watching her take her steps, learning to walk, like, if 486 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,360 Speaker 2: those are the things that bring you joy, that's what 487 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 2: you focus on. 488 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,360 Speaker 1: And ideally you write your joy list now when you're 489 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 1: in a good space, so that when you do, if 490 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,000 Speaker 1: you do, if you do experience burnout, you can refer 491 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:52,960 Speaker 1: to it. You don't have to think of the things 492 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,360 Speaker 1: you enjoy when you're burned out, because that's kind of difficult, 493 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:58,600 Speaker 1: difficult to do if you ask me. Yeah, but that's great. 494 00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,440 Speaker 1: I love that. So make time for what brings you joy. 495 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:03,200 Speaker 1: Number three is rest. We already talked a bit about that. 496 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,080 Speaker 1: I think we did right or was it the last 497 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,160 Speaker 1: episode we talked about rest, And it's just so important 498 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:11,600 Speaker 1: to give ourselves space, right, whether it's going I know, 499 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,920 Speaker 1: don don't play about her sleep, don make sure she 500 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,560 Speaker 1: gets her sleep. I am aspiring to get to that point. 501 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:19,600 Speaker 1: I'm still in this new mommy journey, so it's a 502 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,880 Speaker 1: little different over here. But resting for me sometimes that 503 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,720 Speaker 1: means a napture in the day, Okay, meditation as well, 504 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,640 Speaker 1: So whatever you can do to just put yourself at ease, 505 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,920 Speaker 1: or I love a good massage or manny petty or 506 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,560 Speaker 1: going to go do like a float. Those that's how 507 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:35,680 Speaker 1: I rest these days. 508 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 2: Yes, and rest also means being still and not doing anything. 509 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:45,000 Speaker 2: That's so the next part of my rest journey, right 510 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:52,040 Speaker 2: is learning to just be still. So I'm not trying 511 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:55,640 Speaker 2: to go to sleep. I'm just sitting And maybe that's 512 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 2: sitting and watching TV, but I'm watching TV and I'm 513 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:03,600 Speaker 2: not on my phone trying to multitask, or I'm reading 514 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,240 Speaker 2: a book and I'm not checking my phone. 515 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:06,880 Speaker 1: I'm not. 516 00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 2: That's rest and making more time for that. So that's 517 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,080 Speaker 2: the next stage in my rest journey, and then that 518 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,880 Speaker 2: takes us to number four. Always have something that you 519 00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:23,320 Speaker 2: are looking forward to, Lady. This got me through graduate school. 520 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:25,600 Speaker 3: Always. 521 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,880 Speaker 2: What I remember what I would do is at the 522 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,640 Speaker 2: start of every semester, I would get out my planner, 523 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,280 Speaker 2: and once I got the syllabi from all of my 524 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,480 Speaker 2: courses and so I had the deadlines for when projects 525 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:41,680 Speaker 2: were to do. I would sit down and map out 526 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:45,920 Speaker 2: my semester so that I knew when I was taking breaks, 527 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,000 Speaker 2: when I was like going on not necessarily going on 528 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:49,840 Speaker 2: vacation because I was a pro grad student, but you 529 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,160 Speaker 2: know what I mean, I was going maybe going to 530 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:56,120 Speaker 2: visit family or taking a quick weekend trip with girlfriends. 531 00:33:56,280 --> 00:34:00,160 Speaker 2: Like what's something that I could always look forward too. 532 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:03,400 Speaker 2: So when I have that moment where I'm like feeling 533 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,040 Speaker 2: that burnout potentially coming on, I can say, oh wait, 534 00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:12,000 Speaker 2: let's get this stuff back in alignment because I have 535 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:15,480 Speaker 2: this big trip coming up. I'm going to see my family, 536 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:20,560 Speaker 2: I'm going to do engage in something that brings me joy. 537 00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:22,880 Speaker 1: I love this one and I usually do that at 538 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,280 Speaker 1: the beginning of the month. Now I'm like, put myself 539 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:28,600 Speaker 1: care on the calendar, plan out vacations. I freaking love 540 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,759 Speaker 1: this one. And number five is stay connected to your 541 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:36,000 Speaker 1: support system. We know how important our support systems are, 542 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 1: whether it's an online community or virtually or in person, 543 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,520 Speaker 1: like staying connected to your people, your tribe, the folks 544 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:46,239 Speaker 1: that keep you going is just so important. I know 545 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,960 Speaker 1: for me during the pandemic that was so crucial and 546 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:52,279 Speaker 1: definitely kept me going during some tough time. So yep, 547 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:56,080 Speaker 1: stay connected to your support system, lady. 548 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,200 Speaker 2: Yes, I love that. I can't stress enough the importance 549 00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:02,320 Speaker 2: of having the people in your life who keep you grounded, 550 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:06,759 Speaker 2: who bring you joy. That and they're the ones who 551 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,000 Speaker 2: can let you know. Like Terry when you mentioned in 552 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:12,520 Speaker 2: the earlier example that you shared about someone text you 553 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,719 Speaker 2: and said checking in on you. Just make sure you 554 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:18,040 Speaker 2: eat right, that's that's your When you're connected with your 555 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:21,120 Speaker 2: support system, they know the things and they will check 556 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:22,640 Speaker 2: in and keep you together. 557 00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:24,000 Speaker 1: That's right. 558 00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,959 Speaker 2: And so lady, let's just run through. Let's review how 559 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:33,080 Speaker 2: we care for ourselves before during and after burnout. Number one, 560 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:38,759 Speaker 2: identify and focus on what's within your control. Number two, 561 00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:45,160 Speaker 2: make time for what brings you joy. Number three, rest, 562 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,279 Speaker 2: number four always have something that you're looking forward to, 563 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:54,960 Speaker 2: and number five stay connected to your support system. Thanks 564 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:59,879 Speaker 2: for tuning in, Lady, Hey lady, it's doctor dom here 565 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:04,520 Speaker 2: and cultivating her space podcast. Are you currently a resident 566 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:09,919 Speaker 2: of the state of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey. Well, 567 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:14,160 Speaker 2: if so, please reach out to me at doctor Dominique 568 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:18,880 Speaker 2: Brusard dot com. That's d R D O M I 569 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:24,680 Speaker 2: N I q U E b R O U ss 570 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:30,520 Speaker 2: ar D dot com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. 571 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:35,520 Speaker 2: I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for joining 572 00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:40,480 Speaker 2: us today. Please note that our show may contain conversations 573 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:46,200 Speaker 2: about self help, advice, self empowerment, and mental health, but 574 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:49,160 Speaker 2: is by no means meant to be a substitute for 575 00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:53,520 Speaker 2: an ongoing formal relationship with a trained mental health provider. 576 00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:57,040 Speaker 2: If you are someone you know is in need of 577 00:36:57,080 --> 00:37:00,640 Speaker 2: mental health care, please visit a Therapy for Black Girls 578 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:06,280 Speaker 2: directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider. 579 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,279 Speaker 6: If you liked what you heard and want to keep 580 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:13,280 Speaker 6: the conversation going. Visit our website at cultivatinghirspace dot com, 581 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:15,920 Speaker 6: and be sure to click the Patreon tab to get 582 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:21,960 Speaker 6: access to video content, bonuses, and our weekly after show and. 583 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,759 Speaker 1: Before we meet again, repeat after me. Just because I 584 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,120 Speaker 1: can do it all doesn't mean I have to do 585 00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:28,560 Speaker 1: it all.