Speaker 1: Hell I Suck At Dating with Denglert and Jared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast What is Up, Sucky Daters.
Speaker 1: Welcome to an all new episode of Help I Suck
Speaker 1: At Dating. I don't know if you guys believe this
Speaker 1: or not, but we are only three weeks away from
Speaker 1: two thousand one. That is absolutely mind blowing to me. Anyways,
Speaker 1: it's Jared and myself and we have a very special
Speaker 1: episode for you guys today. We have a j McClean
Speaker 1: of the Backstreet Boys is gonna be joining us today.
Speaker 1: Cheryl Burke Dancing with the Stars is gonna be joining
Speaker 1: us today. They have their own podcast, well podcast podcast,
Speaker 1: it's a podcast, it's podcasts pretty much. And Rene Alizondo
Speaker 1: Alizondo are gonna be joining us is today as well.
Speaker 1: They're the host of Pretty Messed Up. We're gonna get
Speaker 1: to them a little bit later, but before we do that,
Speaker 1: I just want to talk to Jared because Jared, I
Speaker 1: feel like we haven't really had a chance to talk lately.
Speaker 1: It's always been co host guests, so we've never really
Speaker 1: had the you know, the one on one interaction that
Speaker 1: I really strive for a weekend and week out. Where
Speaker 1: are you in the world right now. I'm in Santa Monica. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you're back in l A, are you? So? How's
Speaker 1: the house? Have you seen it? Have you been to
Speaker 1: the land? Are you guys building? Well? I know you
Speaker 1: guys just bought a brand new house, right it is
Speaker 1: a brand new it's currently being built. The house. Kaylin's
Speaker 1: grandparents lived close by. They walked over and took a
Speaker 1: picture of it. It's you know, it's framed out. That's
Speaker 1: about as far as they've gotten. Still about four or
Speaker 1: five months away from being finished. But have you guys
Speaker 1: seen it in person? We have seen it in person. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's funny actually because I just started talking about this
Speaker 1: and Caitlin looks over at me and she's she like grimaces,
Speaker 1: and she says, you told them that we're buying a
Speaker 1: house because I guess, like, like I said, we're still
Speaker 1: early stages and so you know, we haven't obviously officially
Speaker 1: gotten the keys yet, so we don't want to jakes anything.
Speaker 1: But um, you're just putting it out into the universe,
Speaker 1: that's all. Yeah, Well, it's gonna be embarrassing, like for
Speaker 1: some reason, we don't get qualified for our mortgage alone.
Speaker 1: But will make great content. So either way, we're good
Speaker 1: on this podcast. Yeah, we're turning out content. I guess
Speaker 1: that's the most important thing. If we turned out enough
Speaker 1: content on this podcast, maybe we'll be able to afford
Speaker 1: a house eventually, you know. Yeah in l A. That
Speaker 1: is right right, right right, which would be great. So
Speaker 1: so that's where we're at. Uh, we're hopefully I don't
Speaker 1: know if I like did a good job of explaining
Speaker 1: this last time, but so we're buying a house in
Speaker 1: Las Vegas, near Caitlin's grandparents center and uncle, um, and
Speaker 1: it's in a little suburb we both really like and
Speaker 1: it's close to her family. But then we're also going
Speaker 1: to be signing a lease here in Los Angeles to
Speaker 1: rent a house because we want to be in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: but we also want to have the option to be
Speaker 1: in Las Vegas close to her family. So we're kind
Speaker 1: of gonna be back and forth. Um, But obviously l
Speaker 1: A is just too expensive, so we're not going to
Speaker 1: buy in l A. So that's kind of where we're at. Uh,
Speaker 1: you're telling us, you're telling me last week that you
Speaker 1: guys are buying a house and leasing a place in
Speaker 1: l A. Makes me so much more comfortable with the
Speaker 1: idea of purchasing a home in Rhode Island and still
Speaker 1: renting a place in l A. Yeah, that was kind
Speaker 1: of our dream scenario for the next couple of years,
Speaker 1: where we could be bi coastal. I mean, we'll see
Speaker 1: if we can actually do it or not. And for
Speaker 1: the longest time, I was like, there's no way we're
Speaker 1: not doing that. We're not spending the money, We're not
Speaker 1: gonna do it. Well, I don't know much about the
Speaker 1: Rhode Island real estate market, but I eventually it's probably
Speaker 1: smilar to the Vegas real estate market, where a lot
Speaker 1: goes a long way. Uh, it does, and it doesn't.
Speaker 1: Rhode Island surprisingly is it's certainly not like expensively expensive,
Speaker 1: like if you're going to Boston or Los Angeles, New York.
Speaker 1: But it's it's it flies off like the housing market.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure this is countrywide is crazy right now,
Speaker 1: like nothing is on Zillo for more than twenty four hours.
Speaker 1: It's insane. But but you, like you said, like I said,
Speaker 1: like you guys, buying a house and renting for some reason,
Speaker 1: maybe it's just because we're not alone makes me feel
Speaker 1: super more comfortable being like, Okay, maybe we can purchase
Speaker 1: a home within the next year, so and still rent
Speaker 1: our place in l A for the next two years. Right, well,
Speaker 1: he doesn't Actually sisters still live with you guys in
Speaker 1: l A. Or no, is that over? No? No, no, no no.
Speaker 1: She's been down here for odd nine ten months now.
Speaker 1: She lives with her boyfriend down here in Rhode Island
Speaker 1: in Virginia, Virginia, right right, right, I guess I was
Speaker 1: gonna say it's it's it would have been kind of
Speaker 1: nice to have her paying helping pay rent because then
Speaker 1: that kind of obviously a le based a bit of
Speaker 1: the cost. Yeah. Now she lived with us for free
Speaker 1: for a long time, right family, you know, freeloaders. Man,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. So so in l A. Um, that's kind
Speaker 1: of one thing that we're doing is one of my
Speaker 1: really good friends who Kylin is fond of, is going
Speaker 1: to be signing a lease with us in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: So it'll be nice to like we don't have to
Speaker 1: shoulder the whole burden of an entire rental agreement. Uh.
Speaker 1: And then obviously we can help start paying our more
Speaker 1: because there and the house that we're hoping to get
Speaker 1: here in l A. Is pretty big. It's like a
Speaker 1: big four bedroom in Venice. So it's like enough space
Speaker 1: for us all to kind of, you know, not being
Speaker 1: each other's faces all day long, but still affordable enough
Speaker 1: for it to make sense for us. Yeah, you need
Speaker 1: your own room. That's what I've discovered. I remember a
Speaker 1: buddy of mine who has been married for quit some time,
Speaker 1: when Ashley and I first got together and engaged, He's like,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, just at one point, wherever you guys go,
Speaker 1: just make sure you have your own room. What does
Speaker 1: that mean? Like, what do you put an office that's
Speaker 1: just to yourself? Like whatever? It is just a room
Speaker 1: that you're able to go in and just be surrounded
Speaker 1: by whatever you like. For me, that's Tom Brady posters, uh,
Speaker 1: Superman posters, anything Boston sports related. And it really has
Speaker 1: made all the difference because Lauren lived with us in
Speaker 1: our apartment for a couple of years in l A.
Speaker 1: And when she moved out, her room became like an
Speaker 1: office slash man cave, and it's freaking awesome. Man. It
Speaker 1: makes like it's a It makes for a healthier relationship
Speaker 1: between Ashley and I because like when she's watching whatever,
Speaker 1: she wants to watch in the living room, Like I
Speaker 1: can go to my room and just like play a
Speaker 1: video game and and do whatever the hell I want
Speaker 1: to do. Telling you, man, that's the key to make sure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: wherever you guys go, you just are able to have
Speaker 1: your own room. Well, so the house that we have
Speaker 1: perspectively bought is a three bed, two bath, and so
Speaker 1: we have the master bedroom, and and we assumed one
Speaker 1: bedroom would be hers and the other bedroom would be mine.
Speaker 1: So TBD. But I agree with that. And it's funny
Speaker 1: because I remember going to your apartment for the first time.
Speaker 1: I saw, like obviously everything is like is decorated seemingly
Speaker 1: by Ashley, and then you go into the man cave
Speaker 1: room and it still is very well decorated. I want
Speaker 1: to point out, Uh, it's not like because like when
Speaker 1: I think man cave or like when I think about
Speaker 1: when I was decorating my rooms, it was like a
Speaker 1: college dorm room, you know, like you have like just
Speaker 1: posters on the wall that aren't framed or anything. But
Speaker 1: your man cave actually is like it's like an upgraded
Speaker 1: version of all of the things that we did when
Speaker 1: we're in college. You know what I mean, well, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to say that Ashley didn't have a hand
Speaker 1: in that, right. Well, I wanted to decorate it exactly
Speaker 1: how I wanted it to be. She you know, x
Speaker 1: that out and that was impossible. So it was like
Speaker 1: a compromise. I'd say seventy was was first. She just
Speaker 1: wanted it to be you know, pristine. Um, but we'll see,
Speaker 1: we shall see. I remember when you came over. That
Speaker 1: was the time I kicked dressing Madden. That was a
Speaker 1: good night I was. I was so confident to I
Speaker 1: was like, I've never lost a game of Madden into
Speaker 1: my life. And then I get roasted about like thirty
Speaker 1: five against you. I played well that day of my friend. Um.
Speaker 1: So I did want to talk about Christmas gifts because
Speaker 1: it's the holiday season. Obviously, I'm assuming you're gonna get
Speaker 1: something for Kaylin for Christmas, and I was thinking about
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna get for ash and I was looking
Speaker 1: it up online and I came across this article. It's
Speaker 1: on a website called Money, Money under thirty. I don't
Speaker 1: know what that is, but the point is it's pretty
Speaker 1: good article and it's called Love and Money Get gift giving. Right,
Speaker 1: this Christmas. Uh, and pretty much it's the idea of
Speaker 1: like changing your whole uh, changing like the perspective of
Speaker 1: Christmas gift giving. Like she she makes the argument that, like,
Speaker 1: don't just get something for the fact of getting something,
Speaker 1: you know, Like my parents did that all the time,
Speaker 1: and I love my parents and I would never change that.
Speaker 1: But like the amount of times they've gotten me button
Speaker 1: down shirts or jackets that I legitimately have never worn
Speaker 1: in my life. Like there is this green and black
Speaker 1: plaid shirt that I always have in my closet and
Speaker 1: my parents got it for me like seven years ago
Speaker 1: for Christmas from Express that I've never worn, and I
Speaker 1: tell myself every year I'm going to wear it. But
Speaker 1: then I look at it and I'm like, I just
Speaker 1: don't want to do it. I don't want to do it.
Speaker 1: And so this article says, you know, everybody has different
Speaker 1: love languages, and so I'm trying to change the way
Speaker 1: I give gifts. So instead of you know, being like,
Speaker 1: well what should I get Ashley, you know, something practical,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of gifts in a way of
Speaker 1: giving them an experience. So, for example, for our anniversary
Speaker 1: this year, instead of getting ash you know a gift that,
Speaker 1: you know, like a toaster, that would be a horrible gift.
Speaker 1: But you know what I'm going at with this one.
Speaker 1: I got her a weekend getaway at Monarch, which is
Speaker 1: a resort in southern California, and I figured I put
Speaker 1: my money to good use there to create an experience,
Speaker 1: like a romantic getaway. So my what I'm saying is, Dean,
Speaker 1: have you thought about what you're gonna get for Kalin
Speaker 1: and are you thinking you might get her more of
Speaker 1: an experience. Are you that type of gift giver or
Speaker 1: you more of like a practical gift giver. I have
Speaker 1: a question. Was that it was that a sponsored plug
Speaker 1: for Monarch Resorts in southern California. It was not. No,
Speaker 1: I I got I got it as an actual gift.
Speaker 1: I mean they were very you know, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: say I didn't reach out to them, and they were
Speaker 1: very kind in certain aspects. But no, that was not
Speaker 1: a plug. Look, I respect the hustle on or the other.
Speaker 1: Uh No, I agree with that because I'm the same
Speaker 1: way too. It's and I always kind of tell her
Speaker 1: when she's always like, what do you want me to
Speaker 1: get you for Christmas, I'm like, listen, if I want
Speaker 1: to if I want something, I'm gonna go out and
Speaker 1: get it myself. Like there's nothing that you can get
Speaker 1: me that I don't already have, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Because if I want it bad enough, I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: get it essentially, uh, And so I fully agree with that.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, I don't necessarily need something that's
Speaker 1: gonna uh sit around and collect dust for the next
Speaker 1: seven years. All the brown and green button up that
Speaker 1: your parents got all those years ago. I really hope
Speaker 1: my parents told listen to this podcast, really, son of
Speaker 1: a bitch, even more than one, he never wore that shirt.
Speaker 1: You should walk like next once once you can like
Speaker 1: go to an event again, you should like walk a
Speaker 1: red carpet in the event and like send it to them.
Speaker 1: It'd be funny anyways. Um, I definitely think that the
Speaker 1: experience is a better gift than like a product in
Speaker 1: a sense. It's like, I don't know, it's I think
Speaker 1: it also shows more thought. Yeah. And the nice thing
Speaker 1: about that too is like I remember when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, uh, Like my mom would always get presents
Speaker 1: for like the kids, or for my dad or something
Speaker 1: but she would, like she would always get them a movie, Like,
Speaker 1: like she would get my brother a movie, right, my
Speaker 1: brother loves getting movies and watching movies, but she would
Speaker 1: always get him a movie that she wanted to watch.
Speaker 1: So then like they would all want like he gets
Speaker 1: the satisfaction of getting a gift, but then she gets
Speaker 1: to watch the movie that she wants to watch, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. The nice thing about a situation
Speaker 1: like this is if you know, you get Ashley a
Speaker 1: vacation to monarch, you get to go on that vacation
Speaker 1: to monarch with her, so like you kind of got
Speaker 1: to reap the benefits of the gift as well. You know,
Speaker 1: it wasn't the worst gift for me either, Right, It's
Speaker 1: kind of like a win win in a sense, So
Speaker 1: I definitely agree with that. Like for our anniversary, I
Speaker 1: got Kalen a trip to Japan, which hopefully is going
Speaker 1: to happen in our lifetime at this rate. Who the
Speaker 1: hell knows. Um Oh, I'm sorry it was for her birthday,
Speaker 1: she corrected me. I sell you, I'm waited for that
Speaker 1: because I saw you look it off to the side.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm pretty sure she's correcting him. Right now.
Speaker 1: She literally just poked in for for one second and said,
Speaker 1: it was my birthday. Uh, and I can fully agree
Speaker 1: with that. Like I, you know, I want to go
Speaker 1: back to Japan. She wants to go to Japan, and
Speaker 1: we want to go together, and said the perfect way
Speaker 1: to get a gift for that would be just to
Speaker 1: get a gift for her to go with us. I
Speaker 1: don't know. That was the worst day of saying that,
Speaker 1: but you know what I mean, I agree with what
Speaker 1: you're saying. Long story short, so I know, last last
Speaker 1: Christmas actually got me a gift to Disney World because
Speaker 1: I really wanted. They were opening up a new Star
Speaker 1: Wars land with a great ride called the Rise of
Speaker 1: Rise of the Resistance, and I could not wait to
Speaker 1: go on this thing, and it was opening up in February.
Speaker 1: So she planned a trip like at the end of February,
Speaker 1: but we ended up canceling the trip because that's when
Speaker 1: COVID started rising. We thought, well, welldre's wait and see
Speaker 1: how this plays out. And then of course, obviously in
Speaker 1: the beginning of March everything should have gone. I know, right, Um,
Speaker 1: I've got a question regarding the gift. The experiential gift
Speaker 1: giving that you were talking about, do you think I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously it's changed a little bit during COVID, but what
Speaker 1: are some other COVID friendly gifts, maybe like more experiential
Speaker 1: gifts that you would recommend for people that are um listening. Well, um,
Speaker 1: you know, it's tough right now because nobody knows what
Speaker 1: the future holds. I mean, the vaccine is might be
Speaker 1: getting approved as we speak. Uh, so we're all assuming
Speaker 1: that normalcy will be returned, probably in the summer. So maybe, um,
Speaker 1: you know kind of like, uh, this is gonna sound stupid,
Speaker 1: but like a gift card to kayak or maybe like
Speaker 1: I don't know, plan the trip for September October. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, by plane tickets, so on and so forth.
Speaker 1: If you want to do an experience, I'm just all
Speaker 1: four experiences. Unfortunately, you can't buy concert tickets right now.
Speaker 1: I used to be a big concert ticket giver because
Speaker 1: I thought that was a great experience. You know, you
Speaker 1: you get to enjoy something music together. It's an experience
Speaker 1: that you get to bond over, whether it be your
Speaker 1: friends or significant other. It doesn't doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: somebody that you're in a relationship with. Can be you know,
Speaker 1: other family members, friends, co workers whoever. Maybe don't get
Speaker 1: concert taking of coworkers because that's a little bit expensive.
Speaker 1: But I think you just I think it's so much
Speaker 1: more fun trying to think of what a fun gift
Speaker 1: could be instead of going through Amazon and being like, well,
Speaker 1: what I gotta get them something, so let me just
Speaker 1: scroll through here. So instead of taking ten minutes scrolling
Speaker 1: through Amazon trying to find a random product to buy someone,
Speaker 1: take that ten minutes and think about, well, what is
Speaker 1: this person, Like, what could I get for them? What's
Speaker 1: what's creative? You know what? What would they have fun with?
Speaker 1: That would be my advice. I have a question for you.
Speaker 1: So Kalin has been talking a lot about getting this
Speaker 1: new blender that she just she like just raves about
Speaker 1: it all the time. Every time she uses our blender,
Speaker 1: she's like, oh, this blender sucks. I want a new one.
Speaker 1: And she always like shows me this very specif pick one,
Speaker 1: and I feel like she's like throwing subtle hints at me, like, hey,
Speaker 1: like this is a blender I want it's five just
Speaker 1: so you know, and she like hasn't purchased it for
Speaker 1: some reason. And I think that The reason she keeps
Speaker 1: telling me about the blenders because she wants me to
Speaker 1: get it for her for Christmas. But I don't get it.
Speaker 1: I don't know a blender for Christmas? Like how it
Speaker 1: just seems so impersonal, you know. I would say, don't
Speaker 1: just get the blender. Get the blender because it's a
Speaker 1: thoughtful gift. Because what else do I have to get?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe oh you know what, if you're
Speaker 1: spending money on a blender, then instead of spending money
Speaker 1: on another gift, why don't you get, like her, a
Speaker 1: gift of like writer or a note. Sometimes I write
Speaker 1: Ashley poems all the time. I write her rhyming poems, childish.
Speaker 1: Will you give us an example? Um? Yeah, I guess. Um, well,
Speaker 1: I don't have any in front of me. But like
Speaker 1: I remember one line was like, um, like my heart
Speaker 1: is a lock and you have the key. Uh like
Speaker 1: something like uh forever in the future, it's just you
Speaker 1: and me, something like that. I know, very cute, right,
Speaker 1: I'm quite endearing. Um, So do that, like, spend two
Speaker 1: dollars on a card, get some crayons or markers, whatever
Speaker 1: you like, maybe some paint. She really want to go
Speaker 1: over board and like get her like a really cute
Speaker 1: see card along with the blenders. So the blender is
Speaker 1: a practical gift that you're spending money on that she wants.
Speaker 1: So it's also thoughtful because you remember that she wants it,
Speaker 1: even though she probably reminds you daily. And then you
Speaker 1: get like something very personal that's very cheap. But fuflet okay,
Speaker 1: let me let me just continue to pilot the questions here.
Speaker 1: Let's say I get her five blender and she only
Speaker 1: comes back with like a fifty dollar you know, pair
Speaker 1: of shorts that I say I wanted. Do you think
Speaker 1: that there should be an imbalance on Christmas gifts? Or
Speaker 1: do you think you should set a limit on spending
Speaker 1: before you go into the holidays, Like, hey, no more
Speaker 1: than hundred dollars per person? Uh, what do you and
Speaker 1: Ashley do? And what do you recommend we don't do
Speaker 1: a cap I feel like it's just kind of known that, like, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: don't spend more than like two on me. Um. But
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything wrong with talking to your
Speaker 1: significant other and saying, listen, I want to get you something,
Speaker 1: hopefully you want to get me something to Let's just
Speaker 1: you know, let's not be stupid here, like, don't spend
Speaker 1: more than like a hundred fifty bucks. Like I'll spend
Speaker 1: a hundred fifty, you spend a hundred fifty, we'll call
Speaker 1: it a day. I don't think that's really outrageous to ask.
Speaker 1: What about? Do you think that's weird? Mark's coming on?
Speaker 1: Here we go the husband's well, look, I've got some
Speaker 1: experience in this area, Dean. That is best case scenario.
Speaker 1: What you're describing is if you completely overwhelm her with
Speaker 1: an amazing gift and she gets you something that's fine
Speaker 1: shorts you asked for. That is a way tell me
Speaker 1: what I can ride that for as long as you
Speaker 1: want to. He has the upper hand, So coming come April,
Speaker 1: I can say, hey, remember that Christmas President I got you.
Speaker 1: Is that we're talking too saying lourda over her. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying through it in her face. I'm just saying
Speaker 1: you can rest easy, you can sit back in the
Speaker 1: easy chair and knowing that you did goodness, and she
Speaker 1: can brag to her friends like it's all upside. That's
Speaker 1: that's a fair point. I will say. The nice thing
Speaker 1: about my situation is, let's say she underperforms on Christmas
Speaker 1: and I just blow it out of the water. She's
Speaker 1: got four months to plan for my birthday, which is
Speaker 1: in April, and then I would you know, if if
Speaker 1: she feels like she underperformed her mark situation here, then
Speaker 1: she's gonna go all out for the birthday. So it's
Speaker 1: kind of like investing. I guess four months on the line,
Speaker 1: I get I respected, I respected. That makes a lot
Speaker 1: of sense. And plus you get to like use it
Speaker 1: when you're in a fight. I was gonna say, like,
Speaker 1: don't throw it in her face, but like, next time
Speaker 1: you guys fight, you can be like, oh, yeah, I
Speaker 1: remember those shorts you got me for Christmas and this
Speaker 1: five dollar piece jewelry I got you blend shorts and
Speaker 1: the blender. Yeah listen, the blender is a good gift.
Speaker 1: I'm a big smoothie guy, so I would love a blender.
Speaker 1: Why not? Um? All right, Well that's enough for Christmas gifts,
Speaker 1: So hope, I would love to know what you guys
Speaker 1: out there Suck Army is gonna get. Uh. I would
Speaker 1: love some ideas for Christmas. So if you guys want
Speaker 1: to d M S email us comment under one of
Speaker 1: our pictures let us know where you're getting your significant
Speaker 1: other for Christmas, because I'm always open to the idea
Speaker 1: of uh, I just like to know. I want to
Speaker 1: know what people are getting because it gives me ideas,
Speaker 1: you know, So this is really just for me selfishly,
Speaker 1: let me know what I should get Ashley. But coming up,
Speaker 1: we have the host of the podcast I Heart Radio
Speaker 1: podcast Pretty Messed Up, A J. Cheryl and Renee coming
Speaker 1: up next. Before we talk to them, let's take a
Speaker 1: quick break. Hey, welcome back to help I suck at dating.
Speaker 1: We have some very special guest on the podcast right now.
Speaker 1: You know them. They are the host of the I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio podcast Pretty Messed Up. It is A J. McClean,
Speaker 1: Cheryl Burke in Renee Elizondo. How are you I Love
Speaker 1: your guys title of your podcast? Yes, true? Do you guys? Really?
Speaker 1: You guys suck at dating? Oh my gosh, are you kidding?
Speaker 1: Of course, we made a whole career out of it.
Speaker 1: But ask my wife. My wife will definitely say I
Speaker 1: suck at dating. But whoever says that they're good at it,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like, oh, yeah, there's no such thing. Well,
Speaker 1: our podcast has something in common with your podcast kind
Speaker 1: of like the self deprecation because you guys just called
Speaker 1: pretty messed up, right, Yes, absolutely so, it's kind of
Speaker 1: the same, you know, within the same realm at least
Speaker 1: isn't really self deprecating. It's actually just facts. Yeah, totally. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's that side too. Well, I want to know what
Speaker 1: you eyes think it means to be pretty messed up.
Speaker 1: But first, seeing Cheryl how you brought it up, I
Speaker 1: have to ask each one of you, do you guys
Speaker 1: suck at dating? Well? Yeah, fair question, a j what
Speaker 1: do you think you think? Uh? Yeah, well because I
Speaker 1: you know, I really picked some winners back in the day.
Speaker 1: And I'm being very sarcastic when I say that, Um,
Speaker 1: you know, because you because you always kind of get
Speaker 1: get what you put out. And you know, I back
Speaker 1: when I was in my party days, I was definitely
Speaker 1: wrangling some real, real winners. And it was not pretty.
Speaker 1: It always ended poorly and quickly. It it was pretty
Speaker 1: messed up. Until I met my wife in two thousand nine,
Speaker 1: and like that literally was like, oh wow, holy crap,
Speaker 1: Like this is different, Like she's not like any of
Speaker 1: these other wackos that I dated before. She's actually grounded
Speaker 1: and she's so sincere and she's sweet, and I ended
Speaker 1: up marrying her. So there you go. You know you're
Speaker 1: a lucky man. And Renee, what about you? You think
Speaker 1: you sucked at dating? Suck at dating? I did. I'm married,
Speaker 1: I'm married now, but I I sucked so badly. I
Speaker 1: never I've never asked someone out on a date. And
Speaker 1: and here's the weird part. I've been married twice and
Speaker 1: I've never proposed what how did you get married? Some
Speaker 1: information here? How do how do we not talk about
Speaker 1: this on our podcast? I know it's kind of nuts
Speaker 1: and and Britt, my wife, would probably hate that I
Speaker 1: said this. Uh my first marriage, you guys know, was
Speaker 1: with Janet. She said to me we should get married
Speaker 1: and I said okay. And then with Britt it was
Speaker 1: kind of the same thing. She's like, hey, don't you
Speaker 1: think we should get married? O? Super sucky. So so
Speaker 1: they've been totally you you. I mean you had a
Speaker 1: cop out, you copped out a little like you. Definitely
Speaker 1: they made they made easy for you. I was so insecure,
Speaker 1: I was so afraid of rejection that literally waited till
Speaker 1: someone hit me over the head with a two by four.
Speaker 1: Even the drugs and alcohol didn't help you. Oh no,
Speaker 1: I kind of like to be off on my own
Speaker 1: when I was drinking and drugging. Yeah. I have a question. So,
Speaker 1: if you never asked other than to marry you, how
Speaker 1: did the first dates then come about? If you didn't
Speaker 1: ask them on the first dates either? Okay, so do
Speaker 1: you want to go on a date the first the
Speaker 1: first wife I we were talking on the phone constantly,
Speaker 1: and then my friends were all saying, hey, she uh,
Speaker 1: I think she likes you, And I'm like, no, wait,
Speaker 1: what would she want to do with a dancer? That
Speaker 1: was my whole thing. But I was like, but I'm
Speaker 1: happy to talk to her. I felt she was just
Speaker 1: lonely on the road, blah blah blah. And then one
Speaker 1: one night she called. It was like she was in
Speaker 1: Europe and it was like four in the morning, and
Speaker 1: and um, she she said, I think I'm falling in
Speaker 1: love with you. And then there was a lot of silence,
Speaker 1: and then and then I said I think I am too,
Speaker 1: And then there was longer silence, and I panicked. I
Speaker 1: swear to God, true story. I panicked, and I said,
Speaker 1: I mean I used to, but I don't anymore. Wait,
Speaker 1: and what did you get married? Like what did she saying?
Speaker 1: She started laughing right and she was what what is it?
Speaker 1: Are you or are you not? And I was like
Speaker 1: are you and She's like yeah, she said, I already
Speaker 1: told you. And I said it was like okay, me too,
Speaker 1: and then we So there wasn't a dating I guess
Speaker 1: there was a dating process. She came back from Europe
Speaker 1: and we just started like hanging out every day and
Speaker 1: then we moved in together. Then she said we should
Speaker 1: get married, and I was like, right on, it was
Speaker 1: really it was really hard for her though, too, you
Speaker 1: know that. Yeah, that's when I said to my wife too,
Speaker 1: I said, I was the first one that said I
Speaker 1: love you. But I said, I think I'm falling in
Speaker 1: love with you, even though I was in love with her.
Speaker 1: And now listen, I'm an idiot. What can I say?
Speaker 1: It was just more of like a security blanket in
Speaker 1: case she said, oh, I'm kind of feeling the same way.
Speaker 1: I could be like, well, I didn't say I was
Speaker 1: in love with you. I said over with you. That
Speaker 1: makes sexier than a man, just like owning up to it,
Speaker 1: and just oh I was I was the shame when
Speaker 1: because my my wife. I definitely a J. You were
Speaker 1: definitely My wife does like special fakes makeup and beauty,
Speaker 1: makeup and hair, and she was working on one of
Speaker 1: our video shoots and she knew the guy that ran
Speaker 1: the catering company and she goes, yeah, so you know,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm actually dating one of the guys in the group.
Speaker 1: And when I heard that, I freaked out. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: well when you know, we're not really but we're not really,
Speaker 1: you know, like I didn't I didn't like the sound
Speaker 1: of like boyfriend girlfriend, Like I didn't want that committed
Speaker 1: like you. And then well because I was a freaking
Speaker 1: insecure hot mess. So I think that's men in general.
Speaker 1: They don't like to tends like it's just like, Okay,
Speaker 1: there's a reason there's two guys hosting a podcast called
Speaker 1: Help Not to Mind You. I can talk about this
Speaker 1: all day. This is great. I'll be honest. I don't
Speaker 1: think i've ever I've never felt more seen on this
Speaker 1: podcast than just hearing both A J and Renee stories
Speaker 1: right there. I feel like I feel like we've got,
Speaker 1: you know, a big family going now. It's great. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: what you said about the sort of leaving yourself and
Speaker 1: now right. It comes from insecurity, where it's like I think,
Speaker 1: I'm find that way if it falls flat, you're you're
Speaker 1: out right, You're like you girls do the same thing.
Speaker 1: It's just different. You have to have a safety net.
Speaker 1: You just you just have to just for your own
Speaker 1: you know, insecurity, life is life is too short. My wife, Britt,
Speaker 1: who I've been married to, happily married. I'm so in
Speaker 1: love with her. I was on the slow boat. I
Speaker 1: was because I had been married befo on the slow
Speaker 1: boat I've been married before, and I was gun shy,
Speaker 1: and we were on a trip one day. We never
Speaker 1: said I love you right, and then she and then
Speaker 1: she says on the plane, she goes, I just need
Speaker 1: to tell you something. I said, what time? She said,
Speaker 1: I like you maximumly? And then and then I go,
Speaker 1: I never heard of that. That was That was her
Speaker 1: giving herself a now right. She said I like you maximumly.
Speaker 1: And I said that sounds like love, right, and heard
Speaker 1: that yeah, And I said that sounds like love and
Speaker 1: she goes, yeah, it is. And I said, and I said,
Speaker 1: I love you too. I think we got home. We
Speaker 1: got home and I kept I thought, okay, this is
Speaker 1: the way we talked now. So I would say I
Speaker 1: love you, she wouldn't say it back, and then I'd
Speaker 1: say I love you, and then she wouldn't say it back.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, wait, you're the one that
Speaker 1: started this whole thing exactly. No, I wanted to hear
Speaker 1: it once. You don't need to say it all the time.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what, that's amazing. So a j I had.
Speaker 1: I had a question for you because you were just
Speaker 1: recently obviously you danced with Cheryl and Dancing with the Stars,
Speaker 1: which Nive Schulman was on, and I heard that you
Speaker 1: have a crazy catfish story. Can you tell it? Tell
Speaker 1: us about it? Uh? Yeah. So the Loman short of
Speaker 1: it is, so back when my Space was a thing
Speaker 1: um which you know, for anyone out there that doesn't
Speaker 1: know what my Space was supposed to be for, it
Speaker 1: was a platform for new music and new artists to
Speaker 1: be heard. That's what it started as, and then it
Speaker 1: became basically her um. So uh yeah, for me, So
Speaker 1: I was I was single and I met this girl
Speaker 1: on my Space who actually the way we started talking,
Speaker 1: she was talking magic about what I do for a living,
Speaker 1: and I was kind of offended and then she was joking,
Speaker 1: and so cut to we were talking every day and
Speaker 1: then we exchanged. We're talking on the phone, and I
Speaker 1: keep trying to finally meet this person, and every single
Speaker 1: time it came to us meeting, something came up. Every
Speaker 1: time to the point where she had to have emergency surgery,
Speaker 1: so she had to fly to another state to have
Speaker 1: surgery or this, that and the other. I drove one night,
Speaker 1: left my dogs with just one bowl of food, grove
Speaker 1: to Palm Springs because she was gonna be there at
Speaker 1: some type of hospital for something. I show up, she
Speaker 1: got transferred. Um, and all the while Renee is like
Speaker 1: him and I are already friends, and he's watching this
Speaker 1: downward spiral that's happening with me. Then I asked her
Speaker 1: to send me a video so I could see what
Speaker 1: she looks like. She sends me a video of another
Speaker 1: girl who's paid she stole from. Then when I actually
Speaker 1: see what the girls supposed, he looks like she looks
Speaker 1: like she's like twelve or thirteen, which freaked me that
Speaker 1: f out. So this dude, this went on for almost
Speaker 1: two years. There was never a point in your head
Speaker 1: where you were like, I'm a backstreet boy. Okay, what
Speaker 1: am I doing? So and then so so finally at
Speaker 1: the precipice, I finally gave up. I started dating somebody else,
Speaker 1: and I get a phone call from her brother saying
Speaker 1: that she had passed away, and I was like devastating
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I never met this person. Whatever. Whatever.
Speaker 1: Then she calls me a month later saying she was
Speaker 1: she was. She was trying to hide from her ex boyfriend,
Speaker 1: who was like partics, so she had to fake her
Speaker 1: own depth. And I was like, yes, you can't blame
Speaker 1: anybody by yourself now. To give it a little contact.
Speaker 1: A j was living with me at the time, temporarily.
Speaker 1: He said he if he could kick He said if
Speaker 1: he could kick it with me for two weeks and
Speaker 1: like a year later, I'm like, hey, dude, are you
Speaker 1: gonna find the house? But he was. He had stopped
Speaker 1: drinking and using drugs. We were we were just golfing
Speaker 1: every day and everything, and what happens people in early sobriety,
Speaker 1: it's what we call trading drugs. So he started getting
Speaker 1: his fix from this girl, this this intrigue. So he
Speaker 1: went as hard into that mystery as he did when
Speaker 1: he was you know, drinking and drugging. So that's a
Speaker 1: little context. That's that gives you an out a day
Speaker 1: the stars. Back then you could have been so so
Speaker 1: you never had the chance to actually meet her in person.
Speaker 1: Then if she even was a real person that, I
Speaker 1: have no idea she really is. She sent the picture
Speaker 1: she was like and I said, dude, year old, god,
Speaker 1: it sounds like a horror movie. So it was the
Speaker 1: hat bigger than her. No, it was I just I
Speaker 1: just have to know what was it that had you
Speaker 1: so enamored, like out of the gates, like, why were
Speaker 1: you so invested in this person? Okay, well, ticket, I
Speaker 1: had just gone through a really bad breakup and I
Speaker 1: was like just not even thinking about dating. And the
Speaker 1: girl who I thought I was talking to was absolutely beautiful.
Speaker 1: She had a lot of similarities with me. She was
Speaker 1: a musician, and I was just like really enamored with her.
Speaker 1: So when I was in Nashville with the boys recording,
Speaker 1: I was telling all the all the you know boys
Speaker 1: about this and they're like, dude, something seems off man,
Speaker 1: And so I that was my first time when I said, okay,
Speaker 1: send me a video and she wouldn't do it. And
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, I get a message from
Speaker 1: the real girl whose picture she stole, and she goes,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but you're talking to someone that's not me,
Speaker 1: and I said, okay, prove it. So she made me
Speaker 1: a freaking video and sent it to me the person
Speaker 1: I thought I was talking to, and her voice was
Speaker 1: different and all this stuff, and she's like bad. She goes,
Speaker 1: somebody stole my identity and I feel bad for you.
Speaker 1: She goes, I'm actually engaged. I'm really happy, but I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: and I do hope that you get this whole thing
Speaker 1: sorted out. And I was just crushed. And then then
Speaker 1: it became like a Michigan to find out who the
Speaker 1: hell this person is? Uhh yeah, such an addict? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: who doing this to me? This person is go for it, Jared.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, Cheryl, I wanted to ask you,
Speaker 1: obviously about the podcast Pretty Messed Up. Um, So I
Speaker 1: want to know how you Renee and a J came
Speaker 1: together and decided, hey, we want to do this podcast.
Speaker 1: We want to call it Pretty Messed Up. We are
Speaker 1: just vulnerable and open up about everything in our lives.
Speaker 1: And Cheryl, you're married. You're married to Matthew Lawrence and
Speaker 1: as a huge Boy Meets World fan Ashley get out
Speaker 1: of here? Are you kidding me? I was at Uh,
Speaker 1: I'm dropping d Dan, I'm dropping Monarch again. I was
Speaker 1: at Monarch a few weeks ago. It was my wife
Speaker 1: and I as anniversary and I saw Ben Savage there
Speaker 1: and very much that's awesome. So I saw Ben Savage
Speaker 1: and I was like internally freaking out, and I called
Speaker 1: and I was like, listen, Ben Savage down here. I
Speaker 1: have to go say hi. So he was so nice
Speaker 1: when we said high. But anyway, long story short, she
Speaker 1: always says, uh, if anybody on the show, I'm most
Speaker 1: like Jack Hunter. So uh, that's totally it makes me.
Speaker 1: I see it. Well, I'm not looks not he's much
Speaker 1: better looking than me. But hair losing this time to
Speaker 1: gush as for himself. You know, obviously I needed to
Speaker 1: take a moment for myself. But but Cheryl wanted to,
Speaker 1: like I said, wanted to talk about why you guys
Speaker 1: came together because all three of you were married. So
Speaker 1: what made you say, hey, let's do this podcast called
Speaker 1: pretty messed Up and be super vulnerable and just open up. Well,
Speaker 1: I think that's just my personality in general. Right. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't really sugarcoat much. Um. What you see is
Speaker 1: what you get to a fault, and also you know,
Speaker 1: in a good way, I guess, um. But you know,
Speaker 1: originally before I even met A. J. And Renee, we
Speaker 1: were all going to do our own podcast. I was
Speaker 1: going to do mine, and I believe A J and
Speaker 1: Renee they were going to do there. And Amy Sugarman,
Speaker 1: you know, the producer from my Heart. She's a great
Speaker 1: castide director, and she got us three together and we
Speaker 1: basically met via zoom in March back when the pandemic
Speaker 1: just hit, and we basically I think it was like
Speaker 1: a little bit of a chemistry test now that I
Speaker 1: think about that, and we passed the test. And then
Speaker 1: he told me he was doing Dancing with the Stars,
Speaker 1: So we would have basically have done this podcast with
Speaker 1: or without Dancing with the Stars. Um. He told me
Speaker 1: he was doing it, and I was like, well, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: you can request your pro dancer if you'd like. I've
Speaker 1: been on the show for twenty three seasons, um, and
Speaker 1: I kind of think I know how it works, right
Speaker 1: and twice right, yeah, back in nineteen sixty five. Has
Speaker 1: been a while, but yeah, yeah, totally. I'm not seventy,
Speaker 1: I'm sixty two. Um, you look great for your age.
Speaker 1: It's the Asian and me thank you. But yeah, so
Speaker 1: it just worked out where a j I basically low
Speaker 1: down low threatened him to call Dina Kats and was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I want dance to Cheryl and then
Speaker 1: cut two. We're still here to this day. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was a match made in heaven. To be honest, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, I mean I've I've been friends with
Speaker 1: Renee for the better part of twenty years, and you know,
Speaker 1: I I had I had known who Cheryl is. Obviously
Speaker 1: everyone you know, well, yeah, but hey, I've got I've
Speaker 1: got my TMC stories. But um, you know I I
Speaker 1: was really just kind of taken back by her story
Speaker 1: as well. And then since we started doing Dads with
Speaker 1: the Stars, we've learned so much. And then on top
Speaker 1: of that, doing the podcast, it's like we we've all
Speaker 1: three learned so much about each other and been able
Speaker 1: to be so exposed and so vulnerable and share our experience,
Speaker 1: strength and hope, whether it's talking about mental health, recovery
Speaker 1: or just life on life's terms. You know, take your
Speaker 1: celebrity hat off for five seconds and just be people
Speaker 1: like we're all people, were all equal, We're all we
Speaker 1: just have different you know, jobs, but we're all the
Speaker 1: same people. So it's a it's a great show, and
Speaker 1: we trust me. We have a blast in the show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean we we've had some moments. I mean definitely,
Speaker 1: I just I just I don't know what happened to
Speaker 1: me a couple of days ago, but Renee still teaches
Speaker 1: me about it. We were cutting to a break and
Speaker 1: it's like my my brain wanted to say something, but
Speaker 1: my mouth didn't keep going. So I basically said, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna cut to a commercial and we'll see you
Speaker 1: guys in a minute. I'm like, what's like, what happen?
Speaker 1: I feel that that that part of the chemistry. First
Speaker 1: of all, backing up was that, uh yes, Amy, when
Speaker 1: she when we talked a J and I talked with Amy,
Speaker 1: she just said, Man, I have someone that would fit
Speaker 1: right in with you guys. You guys rib each other
Speaker 1: all the time. She can give it out, she can
Speaker 1: take it. We should meet and like you said, we
Speaker 1: had we had several calls zoom calls to and and
Speaker 1: everybody felt awesome. We got off the phone after meeting Cheryl,
Speaker 1: We're like, oh, she's amazing, She's perfect, right, And I
Speaker 1: think that on our end, on a J s in mind,
Speaker 1: some of the chemistry kind of like you guys, is
Speaker 1: that I can rib him because I've known him for
Speaker 1: so long and and but it's always kind hearted. Like
Speaker 1: the other day, a J when we had a zoom
Speaker 1: call with a company. It was a business call and
Speaker 1: I knew some people and they so we all met
Speaker 1: and they pair up celebrities with brands, right, And then
Speaker 1: after the whole thing, Uh, I said, would you guys
Speaker 1: say that you're like pairing cool celebrities with brands? What
Speaker 1: what do you want with a J? And then they
Speaker 1: all started laughing, you know, because I was ribbing him,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And Agent said, he's the
Speaker 1: only one they could do that. But now I think
Speaker 1: it's Cheryl too, because Cheryl, like God, no filter at all, man,
Speaker 1: which is great because I I have diarrhea of the
Speaker 1: mouth constantly, and thank god you can take it because
Speaker 1: I can't say. I can't say that about all twenty
Speaker 1: three my partners that I've had, right, I'm sure that's
Speaker 1: and that's when I stopped talking. Now, Well, I think
Speaker 1: all of us were waiting with bated breath, is like,
Speaker 1: is she gonna drop a name. I've gotten myself into
Speaker 1: so much trouble before on my podcast that I won't mention.
Speaker 1: I've been listening to your podcast. I gotta agree with
Speaker 1: you guys. You guys have great chemistry. It's a it's
Speaker 1: a lot of fun to listen to. I really suggest
Speaker 1: everybody listening to the podcast right now go check out
Speaker 1: Pretty Messed Up. It's super fun and a j You
Speaker 1: actually said something in the podcast that I had a
Speaker 1: bone to pick, because you said your favorite Christmas movie
Speaker 1: is Nightmare Before Christmas, And I'd argue, that's a Halloween movie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everybody says that, Well that's like, look, you know how
Speaker 1: many people how many people say die Hard is not
Speaker 1: a Christmas movie? Well, movie, you don't listen to this movie?
Speaker 1: Why completely? Why the whole thing happens on Christmas? It's
Speaker 1: a Christmas movie like this though, I mean, y okay,
Speaker 1: well not like that exactly, but see, I would agree
Speaker 1: hearts Christmas movie. H I say, Batman returns to a
Speaker 1: Christmas movie that's a radio but obviously really passionate about it,
Speaker 1: but it's in the title Nightmare before Christmas, I know,
Speaker 1: following half Christmas. All right, we'll go fifty fifty. We'll
Speaker 1: agree to disagree on that one. Holly, it's Holly miss
Speaker 1: There you go, it's Holly Cheryl A j Rene. I
Speaker 1: can't thank you guys enough for joining us and help
Speaker 1: us second dating again. Everybody out there, go listen to
Speaker 1: Pretty Missed Up. It's an iHeart Radio podcast just like
Speaker 1: we are. But you can get it on the iHeart
Speaker 1: Radio app. You can get it on Apple Podcast wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your podcast. Make sure you go check
Speaker 1: it out right now. Everyone, thanks again. You're like flowing
Speaker 1: I how to do that. Dean taught me everything he knows. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're just like you were, wrapping it like that. You
Speaker 1: gotta we gotta work on our out. Chris Harrison taught
Speaker 1: me a thing or two while we were filming. I
Speaker 1: don't know I appreciated Chris. Chris is one of my
Speaker 1: best budds. I still keep trying to get him on
Speaker 1: the golf course and we've yet to make it happen.
Speaker 1: I mean, we keep trying to get him on Dancing
Speaker 1: with the Stars and we have yet to happen. You
Speaker 1: think it's the same family, right, you know it's funny.
Speaker 1: Before we go, you guys were talking again on the
Speaker 1: podcast about the power of Bachelor Nation with but not bachelors.
Speaker 1: Why did the bachelors can't Why can't you guys dance? Well,
Speaker 1: you guys had Nick on he can't dance? Hey, we Hey,
Speaker 1: Nick was able to keep up with kidding, Nick can dance. Listen,
Speaker 1: you need a bachelor to win, like, but the bastelt
Speaker 1: Mad's already come in with dance experience coming. You have
Speaker 1: no idea how jealous I was when I was watching
Speaker 1: next season you guys showed up. I was like, that
Speaker 1: son of them is getting the back. That's awesome. But hey, dude,
Speaker 1: you tell your wife that I said hi, by the way,
Speaker 1: and because I know she's a big fan and she's
Speaker 1: the sweetest, And I'm also going to be sending her
Speaker 1: some of our polish, my nail polish. I haven't even
Speaker 1: gotten it. I haven't got you. Tell her I'm sending
Speaker 1: some of her way, I will. She would love that,
Speaker 1: and she's a huge fan. We're both big fans, like
Speaker 1: you bringing us up on stage that one time in Vegas,
Speaker 1: honestly one of the best moments of both our lives.
Speaker 1: And I can't tell you how much we appreciate that
Speaker 1: because it was of course, man anytime, any alright, cool? Well,
Speaker 1: next time you guys are torn, just bring all right
Speaker 1: cool guys. Well, thank you so much, Cheryl h you
Speaker 1: guys are the best. Thank you guys. All right, welcome
Speaker 1: back to help I chuck at dating. What a great
Speaker 1: episode today has been. I mean, to have a Backstreet
Speaker 1: Boy on is like the coolest thing ever. Well, and
Speaker 1: to have Cheryl and Rene onto, they were both fantastic.
Speaker 1: They're the best. Cheryl super Yeah, I've been watching. I
Speaker 1: watched Answer the Stars quite a bit, and so having
Speaker 1: Cheryl is really cool and Renee seem super super nice.
Speaker 1: So everybody, once again, make sure you guys check out
Speaker 1: their podcast Pretty Messed Up, which is the most relatable
Speaker 1: title other than help us like a dating obvious Jared,
Speaker 1: what do you prefer? And sink Backstreet Boys? Backstreet Boys
Speaker 1: and I love instincts, but I'm a Backstreet boy all
Speaker 1: the way. Dancing with the Stars or American Idol, uh,
Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars. I never really got into American Idol,
Speaker 1: even though we had David Cook sing at the wedding
Speaker 1: other than David Cook, and I never really got into
Speaker 1: American Idol, so he's David cooking Stars. David Cook's the guy.
Speaker 1: He sings, um like you gotta people a lot on
Speaker 1: da no, no, no no, that would be light on.
Speaker 1: And then he sings the time of my life or uh,
Speaker 1: the time of my lad and yo, when all do
Speaker 1: you last? That time of my life? This I don't
Speaker 1: know if copyright will let me play it, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I just don't play it. It's okay, we get it,
Speaker 1: we got it. But yeah, anyway, he won American Idol.
Speaker 1: That's how Ashley became such a big fan of them.
Speaker 1: I have not known that. I'll be honest, I've never
Speaker 1: really watched American Idol. I've never really watched Dancing with
Speaker 1: the Stars. I've never really listened to the Backstreet Boys.
Speaker 1: Although I will never listen to the Backstreet Boys. I
Speaker 1: recognized their greatness as creators, as musicians, as artists. I
Speaker 1: recognize A. J's greatness, Cheryl's and Renet's um and you
Speaker 1: could just tell. I don't know. I feel like they
Speaker 1: probably have a bunch of really interesting stories. It's funny
Speaker 1: it's funny because we're like zooming with them, so we
Speaker 1: can kind of like see the video, and every time
Speaker 1: someone starts sharing a story, you could tell like someone's
Speaker 1: like chumping at the bit to like chime in, because
Speaker 1: not that they're like intentionally one upping each other, but
Speaker 1: you just know that they have got like a like
Speaker 1: a vault of stories that are all just super interesting
Speaker 1: that need to be shared at all times. Of course,
Speaker 1: it's that's why we listen to podcasts, right. I mean,
Speaker 1: whenever I listened to a podcast and somebody's telling a
Speaker 1: story that I can relate to, I find myself talking
Speaker 1: to myself in the car and be like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's so funny. That reminds me of like this time,
Speaker 1: and then like my thoughts just get the best of me.
Speaker 1: So that's exactly what's happening with them, except except there
Speaker 1: they've been celebrities for the past, you know, two decades,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure that they've got a way more interesting
Speaker 1: stories in lives than we've ever had. But hey, you know,
Speaker 1: we're not here to compare apples oranges. Would you call
Speaker 1: you would you call yourself a celebrity? Absolutely not? Would
Speaker 1: you No? But when you think about it, we have
Speaker 1: we have had a certain sliver of celebrity nous. I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean looks weird to think about. If you asked
Speaker 1: any of my friends from high school that I'm sure
Speaker 1: that they would say yes. I I think just because
Speaker 1: you come from a small town Colorado or Rhode Island
Speaker 1: and then one of your friends, even if like you're
Speaker 1: just like a contestant on the prices, right, you know,
Speaker 1: I still think that some people would consider that. But
Speaker 1: I do think that there are like glimpses into it
Speaker 1: at certain points where you're like, oh, this is really nice,
Speaker 1: but it's not. It's not like no, of course I
Speaker 1: would never but sometimes I don't know if I would
Speaker 1: say I take it for granted because I never take
Speaker 1: it for granted. But I think I just forget like
Speaker 1: even bro, I mean like I'm on your Instagram right now,
Speaker 1: when you put something out there, one point three million
Speaker 1: people are going to see that. Isn't that? Like? Do
Speaker 1: you ever forget that? Sometimes? Are you ever? It's I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's kind of jarring sometimes when I like
Speaker 1: step back, feet up and really think about like, holy,
Speaker 1: there's a like I even think about my Instagram story.
Speaker 1: You know, if I get a certain amount of views
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, that that story didn't do well
Speaker 1: even though it got like thousands of views. You know,
Speaker 1: it's just many story of your stories get listen. I
Speaker 1: don't want to get too personal on this podcast. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm going to talk about my relationship. Come on, just
Speaker 1: tellton family, childhood. But you're talking about Instagram stories. It's
Speaker 1: a little it's crossing the line. Let me take let
Speaker 1: me take a stab at it. I'm going to guess
Speaker 1: you get between a hundred thousand and a hundred and
Speaker 1: forty thousand views per story, no more, no less. I'm
Speaker 1: not I try. I try to post as much engaging
Speaker 1: and interesting stuff as possible, but sometimes it just doesn't stick.
Speaker 1: You know. Mostly when I talks about Ashley wearing some
Speaker 1: sort of obscure mask or doing some sort of weird
Speaker 1: beauty regiment, those do really well. Yeah, it's it's funny.
Speaker 1: It's funny because I hate that we it's I hate
Speaker 1: that it's such a big part of our lives. But
Speaker 1: obviously we're Indib'm incredibly gree Florida. I know you are
Speaker 1: as well. Um, but it's just like in a weird way,
Speaker 1: like it's it's a big part of our lives because
Speaker 1: that's how we make money, that's how we connect with people.
Speaker 1: So I guess like we kind of have no choice
Speaker 1: but for it to be a big part of our lives,
Speaker 1: you know. But I agree, like, I'll be very excited
Speaker 1: for the day where I don't have to rely on it,
Speaker 1: even though I'm like with you, I will never take
Speaker 1: for granted what it has done. I mean, because of Instagram,
Speaker 1: because of the following that we've been able to gather,
Speaker 1: Like I've been I went to this a freaking Star
Speaker 1: Wars Rise of Skywalker premiere, you know, like I went
Speaker 1: to the Batman Superman movie premiere. I remember in my
Speaker 1: house in two thousand six watching a live stream of
Speaker 1: the Superman Returns premiere, uh, which was in l A
Speaker 1: at the time. And the idea that like one day
Speaker 1: I would be going to a Superman and Batman premiere
Speaker 1: is just freaking insane. And it's all because of social media,
Speaker 1: you know, and what uh And and Ashley says, and
Speaker 1: my wife, yeah, I know, you're the she takes credit
Speaker 1: for everything. You see. What I can deal with on
Speaker 1: a daily basis over here, I'm sorry, man, I can
Speaker 1: never be an individual. She's always just looming. I mean, look,
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for the freaking platform. I got a
Speaker 1: tattoo of it forever inked onto my leg. So with
Speaker 1: the blue check mark, let's not forget that. Well, the
Speaker 1: checkmark is black on the leg, but there is a
Speaker 1: check mark. Yep, yep, yep. But like you said, I
Speaker 1: mean because of because of Instagram, I can buy a house.
Speaker 1: You know, because of Instagram, I'm able to travel around
Speaker 1: the world and live in a van, and because of
Speaker 1: Instagram able to like. Yeah, it's just crazy how social
Speaker 1: media has change everything, even for people with you know
Speaker 1: who have you know who don't have a huge following. Like,
Speaker 1: social media is just such a massive part of our lives.
Speaker 1: I mean, think of how many people just post on
Speaker 1: TikTok trying to get a video to go viral. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know if the good outweighs the
Speaker 1: bad with social media and dating. I think it's you know,
Speaker 1: with page the other day, I think, you know, dudes
Speaker 1: in the d M, like you can kind of catch
Speaker 1: people who cheat a lot easier now because instead of
Speaker 1: cheating in person, hiding it they're like exposed their d
Speaker 1: m s because they just text girls. But I don't know,
Speaker 1: there's so much pressure with it as well. It's funny
Speaker 1: like it kind of like it kind of like carries
Speaker 1: a status symbol with it too. I remember, uh, like
Speaker 1: when I first moved to l A, I was dating
Speaker 1: this girl who had like twenty four thousand followers on
Speaker 1: Instagram and I had like, you know, seven or eight
Speaker 1: hundred followers, And for some reason, I was like, I
Speaker 1: was I thought that because she had so many followers,
Speaker 1: she was like way more alluring than she was, you know,
Speaker 1: just because of a little can number on a stupid,
Speaker 1: meaningless app like it just like she became more enticing
Speaker 1: in a sense because of it, you know. And it's
Speaker 1: just so silly and so stupid, but it is what
Speaker 1: it is. I don't know, yeah, it is what it is,
Speaker 1: my friend. Very interesting. Well, everybody out there, thank you
Speaker 1: again for listening to a brand new episode of help
Speaker 1: by Second Dating. Obviously a very very special thank you
Speaker 1: to the three host of the wonderful I Heart Radio
Speaker 1: podcast Pretty Messed Up a J, Cheryl and Rene. Again.
Speaker 1: Make sure you go check out their podcast. I've listened
Speaker 1: to it. For the past couple of weeks. It's super fun.
Speaker 1: They got great chemistry. I can't recommend it enough. Thank
Speaker 1: you Dean for just being for being you man than
Speaker 1: you tell Calin. Thank you for correcting you when you
Speaker 1: were messing up things earlier. Uh again, let us know
Speaker 1: email us. Uh. Not only with your dating stories, but
Speaker 1: what are you getting your significant other for Christmas? Are
Speaker 1: you getting them nothing for Christmas? Are you going to
Speaker 1: get them a more adventurous gift? Are you're gonna get
Speaker 1: them something practical that they need? Uh? Like I said,
Speaker 1: I'm looking for ideas of what to get Ashley. So
Speaker 1: give me your ideas so I can steal them. Uh.
Speaker 1: And make sure you tune in next week where hopefully
Speaker 1: we all suck just a little bit less. Follow help
Speaker 1: by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to podcast