Speaker 1: Hell, I Suck at Dating with Dengler Dared Haven and
Speaker 1: I heard radio podcast What is going on? Sucky daters?
Speaker 1: Welcome to an all new episode of help I Suck
Speaker 1: at Dating. I am being Anglert recording from a car
Speaker 1: somewhere in the middle of Nevada. No idea where on
Speaker 1: my Apple Watch. Caitlin actually is getting into the car
Speaker 1: lit very second. But don't worry, we will not be
Speaker 1: moving the entire time. So, uh, Jared, how's it going? Hello? Happy,
Speaker 1: Happy Sunday, Happy Sunday. Where this guy's listing it? It's Friday, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but this air is on a Sunday. Get with it, dude.
Speaker 1: Fair point, fair point. I think this is the first
Speaker 1: time in the history of podcasts that we're recording one
Speaker 1: person is recording on an Apple Watch. I feel very
Speaker 1: proud to be a part of it. This is futuristic.
Speaker 1: This is definitely this is definitely history in the making.
Speaker 1: Hopefully the audio quality is up to snuff. Klin just
Speaker 1: bought some loud, crinkly Starbucks bags and she is terrified
Speaker 1: of crinkling them. That's good stuff, right there. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: just I just shot her a look and I told
Speaker 1: her that she better take that outside of the car
Speaker 1: to eat it somewhere else because it's a little too nicey.
Speaker 1: But we got a great episode for you guys to do.
Speaker 1: What I gotta know, are you guys staying park the
Speaker 1: entire time you're recording. Yeah, well, I don't want to
Speaker 1: drive and like louse service halfway through the podcast, so
Speaker 1: she just has to sit there and listen to you talk.
Speaker 1: I've encouraged her to get out, walk around. There's a
Speaker 1: Walmart down the street. She could go for shopping at
Speaker 1: the Walmart. I mean, listen, it's not ideal, don't get
Speaker 1: me wrong, but this is this is the life we've
Speaker 1: chosen to live, and so we're gonna live it to
Speaker 1: the best of our ability. I guess I like it.
Speaker 1: I like it. We've got a great episode for you
Speaker 1: guys this week, though. We want to talk some some
Speaker 1: hot topics with you guys, some hot gas. We've got
Speaker 1: some some great guests this week, and then we'll get
Speaker 1: to the listener emails just like we can normally do. So. Uh,
Speaker 1: the first things first, Jared, I think we should discuss this.
Speaker 1: Last week's podcast, we discussed Peter and Key Least breakup.
Speaker 1: This week's podcast we at least have to touch on
Speaker 1: Claireen Dale's breakup. Do we not? Oh dude, yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it feels like do we have to watch out?
Speaker 1: It feels like there's like this force just breaking bachelor
Speaker 1: couples up one at a time. I'm I'm like watching
Speaker 1: over my back right now. I feel bad. There's so
Speaker 1: many bachelor couples that have breaken up. It's so sad.
Speaker 1: I mean, Evan is the worst for me. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie. Oh yeah, Evan and Carley broke up. It's
Speaker 1: definitely the last month there's been a lot of negative
Speaker 1: energy and Bachelor Nation. Uh, and the most recent to
Speaker 1: succumb to it our Clarien Dale. So we talked a
Speaker 1: little bit about Clarien Dale, I think when they first
Speaker 1: got together. But what's your impression of everything that's happened.
Speaker 1: I mean it feels like Claire was all in and
Speaker 1: Dale wasn't not to not to make assumptions on things
Speaker 1: I don't know about, but as being a podcast host,
Speaker 1: you have to have an opinion or else it's pretty boring. Yeah, dude,
Speaker 1: Like I was watching, Uh, I was talking to Ashley
Speaker 1: about it, and I remember that clip I don't know
Speaker 1: if you watched Claire season at all, but they had
Speaker 1: kind of like an after the final rose with Dale
Speaker 1: and Claire where Claire was like talking about how she
Speaker 1: wanted babies and she wanted them immediately and they could
Speaker 1: have kids before they got married, and let's just see
Speaker 1: what happens. And you can tell tell that Dale was
Speaker 1: just internally freaking the f out, like he knew that
Speaker 1: he didn't know what the hell to do. That's what
Speaker 1: the problem was. And I just feel like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I I was rooting for Claire and Dale. I was
Speaker 1: wishing that they'd work out, because I was rooting for Claire,
Speaker 1: Like I never met Dale. I have really no investment
Speaker 1: in Dale. But you know, knowing Claire, she's been on
Speaker 1: so many seasons, she's so ready to settle down. She's
Speaker 1: so ready to have kids in a family, and that's
Speaker 1: exactly what she was looking for when she wanted to
Speaker 1: become the bachelor at And to know that it just
Speaker 1: didn't work out so soon afterwards, I guess is good
Speaker 1: in one sense because at least like she can wash
Speaker 1: her hands with it, because I don't think Dale is
Speaker 1: ready to settle down. But in the other hand, it's
Speaker 1: so sad because here she is single once again. So
Speaker 1: what do you think the reason for their breaking up?
Speaker 1: Obviously it's just but what do you think it was?
Speaker 1: Do you think it was that there is so much
Speaker 1: pressure on it? I think Dale just wasn't as into
Speaker 1: it as Claire was. I mean, I have no inside knowledge.
Speaker 1: I truly do not know. I'm talking out of my
Speaker 1: ass right now. But from seeing you know, how their
Speaker 1: relationship developed on the show, to where they were at
Speaker 1: after the show to Instagram, it just seemed like Claire
Speaker 1: was more into it than Dale was. And I think Dale,
Speaker 1: I think Dale not that to say like he was
Speaker 1: solely in it for the fame, but like I think
Speaker 1: Dale just wanted to go on the show, and you know,
Speaker 1: go on it for multitude of reasons, just like we
Speaker 1: all do. Like Dean, I'm sure you can agree with this,
Speaker 1: Like sure, we go on the show to possibly find
Speaker 1: a part, or like we also go on the show
Speaker 1: because it's a freaking TV show and it's a awesome experience,
Speaker 1: something that will never experience ever again. And like we
Speaker 1: get to be on TV and we get to like
Speaker 1: maybe gather a following on social media and it's just
Speaker 1: like more so now than ever, but like you just
Speaker 1: go on the show for so many reasons. I feel
Speaker 1: like Dale just went on for the experience, and then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, this girl, you know, this woman, Claire,
Speaker 1: fell head over heels for a madly in love and
Speaker 1: I felt I felt like he was always trying to pretend,
Speaker 1: not pretend, but like he was always trying to make
Speaker 1: it seem he was on the same page as Claire,
Speaker 1: when I just don't think he was. Granted, what the
Speaker 1: hell do I know? Right, I've got a couple of
Speaker 1: things that I want to at least add to that
Speaker 1: is I find it kind of interesting and ironic in
Speaker 1: a way that like Dale is, you know, he's like
Speaker 1: this aspiring host whatever that means, like whatever he wants
Speaker 1: the host, I don't know. But now he's kind of
Speaker 1: like made himself out to be the bad guy, and
Speaker 1: it's like, who's gonna want to have Who's gonna want
Speaker 1: to hire this guy after? Because I mean, I'm only
Speaker 1: assuming that he's the reason they broke up, right, Like
Speaker 1: he probably was the one that what made the decision
Speaker 1: for them, judging by Claire's Instagram where she said that
Speaker 1: I just wasn't made aware of a mutual statement by
Speaker 1: both of us. Yeah, it sounds like Dale is the
Speaker 1: one that kind of took it in his own hands,
Speaker 1: say we're breaking up, and so it's like, I feel
Speaker 1: like he's kind of shot his own career in the
Speaker 1: foot before he even had the chance to get going,
Speaker 1: because you know, now that he's a public figure, like
Speaker 1: he's going to be scrutinized for all this stuff and rightfully,
Speaker 1: so don't get me wrong. Um. And then my my
Speaker 1: second thought on that too is I don't think there's
Speaker 1: a problem with going on the show to get like
Speaker 1: Instagram clout or whatever, you know, like as long as
Speaker 1: that's not your only, uh main objunctive. Like I was
Speaker 1: pretty honest about going on Paradise the second time just
Speaker 1: to like maintain an Instagram following so I could continue
Speaker 1: to live the black side that I was living of,
Speaker 1: like traveling and you know all that stuff. I don't
Speaker 1: think that's necessarily a bad thing. I do think it's
Speaker 1: bad when you go on the show and then you
Speaker 1: end up getting engaged to someone and then you know
Speaker 1: you're still prioritizing like Instagram fame over your engagement, and
Speaker 1: I think that's really you know, we're all just kind
Speaker 1: of um ah shooting in the darct or because you
Speaker 1: don't know exactly what happened. But let's say Dale went
Speaker 1: on the show to gain like some notoriety. He did that,
Speaker 1: and then he if you want to do that's fine,
Speaker 1: but then you just don't get engaged at the end
Speaker 1: of it. So at least just be honest, be honest
Speaker 1: with your partner and be like, hey, listen, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: still developing feelings for you. I really like you. I
Speaker 1: don't think I'm where you are at right now, which
Speaker 1: to Claire was like having kids tomorrow. Um. I think
Speaker 1: that was probably his downfall. I would assume that he
Speaker 1: uh was just not on the same page and was
Speaker 1: probably nervous to admit that because everything happened so fast
Speaker 1: and were like, I get it, dude, Like you know,
Speaker 1: especially in this bachelor world, things just happened so freaking fast,
Speaker 1: and then before you know it, you're like, holy hell,
Speaker 1: I'm engaged and I don't know how I feel about
Speaker 1: this girl, don't know where I'm at. Is this what
Speaker 1: I want? You know? And so I get that, like
Speaker 1: things kind of spiral out of control. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, like you said, you gotta just be up
Speaker 1: front and honest. Maybe that's what happened. I also just
Speaker 1: don't if Claire did not have any participation in his rebuttal,
Speaker 1: his his you know, announcement. Dude, that's so messed up
Speaker 1: because I'm reading it right now and it starts off
Speaker 1: like I wanted to share with you that Claire and
Speaker 1: I have decided to go everyways fine, it's only fine.
Speaker 1: But then he goes, we appreciate the love and support.
Speaker 1: We strongly believe in leading with love and always remaining.
Speaker 1: We only hope the best for things for one another.
Speaker 1: And it's like, bro, you cannot say that if Claire
Speaker 1: was not involved in this statement. The last part two
Speaker 1: is really what what stuck with me? When he says
Speaker 1: we really hope the best for each other. When he's like,
Speaker 1: of course he hopes best for Claire, but he's basically
Speaker 1: saying Claire hopes the best for me, It's just like
Speaker 1: it's a little like narcissistic. I think it's funny to
Speaker 1: to think about their situation in a weird way. Is
Speaker 1: like a watered down version of yours, an Ashley situation, right,
Speaker 1: like guy and Girl go on TV show. Girl really
Speaker 1: wants guy, guy doesn't maybe necessarily want her at first. Ah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just it's like a it's like
Speaker 1: a different version obviously, but it's it's somewhat similar. See.
Speaker 1: I think it's more similar to your relationship because you
Speaker 1: went on Paradise. You guys had a relationship, Kalen wanted
Speaker 1: to pursue that relationship. You didn't, you left and then
Speaker 1: you Because maybe it's not similar. I don't think it's
Speaker 1: actually similar to either one of our relationships now, Like
Speaker 1: I'm thinking here, I think the only similarities we can
Speaker 1: draw between the three situations is that the guys are assholes. Obviously,
Speaker 1: guys are always the assholes. We we know this from
Speaker 1: are three years of doing this podcast. I think you
Speaker 1: can do that similarity similarity across most relationships, but not
Speaker 1: to say, you know, women are absolved from being jerks. No,
Speaker 1: they're not perfect. Kayla just looked at me, not at
Speaker 1: her head, and said, yeah, I'm in a real big
Speaker 1: jerk sometimes. I wonder if ye Ashley can be a
Speaker 1: jerk sometimes, now, can you? Yeah? Yeah, she said, yes,
Speaker 1: we're all in the wrong sometimes, kay Kayl can you
Speaker 1: be a jerk sometimes, she says, never unbelievable. I actually
Speaker 1: kind of believe that she's so sweet and innocent, Like
Speaker 1: I can't see has Kaylin ever been like angry? Yes,
Speaker 1: she has been angry, very very very often. She's angry
Speaker 1: right now actually as a matter of fact. So, uh,
Speaker 1: maybe we should go on to another topic before she
Speaker 1: lashes out and does something. I think to end that
Speaker 1: topic just to say I, of course we're wishing the
Speaker 1: most the best for Claire, and I'm wishing the best
Speaker 1: for Dale to like, I don't know, there's all these
Speaker 1: rumors that he cheated on her. Uh and then but
Speaker 1: then like somebody are saying, no, that's just her his
Speaker 1: friend and they've been friends for a while, and like
Speaker 1: I have friends that are girls too, so like I
Speaker 1: kind of get that. I don't know what the truth is,
Speaker 1: but more importantly, I just hope the best for Claire.
Speaker 1: Obviously we both have have you ear Nick Claire? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was n batch to the winning games there, that's right.
Speaker 1: So we both are friends with Claire, um, and we
Speaker 1: just know, like I know how ready she is to
Speaker 1: find a guy, and I was really hoping it was Dale,
Speaker 1: even though you know there are certain red flags throwing
Speaker 1: up in the beginning, but it didn't work out. So
Speaker 1: just wishing the best for Claire uh and Dale, I
Speaker 1: wish I don't want to hate on day. Definitely wishing
Speaker 1: the best for Claire. But that's where that's where we differ.
Speaker 1: I'm not wishing the best for Dale. He needs to
Speaker 1: needs he needs to learn the error of his ways. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, I can agree with that if if, if,
Speaker 1: what we're spewing is true, like yeah, he needs some
Speaker 1: you know, some sense of learning throughout this thing. But
Speaker 1: also at the same time, I don't want to do
Speaker 1: to like be crying every night by himself. That would
Speaker 1: be sad um. I don't think he's crying. That's I
Speaker 1: think that's also another reason. Like I haven't seen much,
Speaker 1: but I have seen, like like sometimes in my four
Speaker 1: youth page things pop up and he's like smiling talking
Speaker 1: to t MZ like it's not cool. And he didn't
Speaker 1: walk away either. He like he pulled his mass down
Speaker 1: and kind of walked with them, and it was like, bro,
Speaker 1: don't like, it's just not a good look for you, man,
Speaker 1: Just walk away, go, don't say anything. Just that I
Speaker 1: wish the best for Claire and then like, you know,
Speaker 1: move on. And that's why, that's why I'm saying, you
Speaker 1: shoot himself in the foot. He just keeps shooting himself
Speaker 1: in this But and like I mean, he has he hasn't,
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, I don't know. Maybe we should
Speaker 1: just move on. But yeah, I agree, like you definitely
Speaker 1: want the best for both of them, Like, hopefully he
Speaker 1: realizes the mistakes he's made. If he's made mistakes, I'm
Speaker 1: sure Claire made mistakes too. But yeah, at the end
Speaker 1: of day, you just want the best for goal for them.
Speaker 1: But well, I do have a question for you, Dean. Yeah,
Speaker 1: have you and Caitlin watched Bridgerton brig No, but I
Speaker 1: keep hearing about it, Okay, I was hoping you guys
Speaker 1: watch it. Ashley watched it. Caitlyn just silently quinched her
Speaker 1: fist and said, oh, it looks so good. Have you
Speaker 1: watched it? Oh? Yeah, she did watch it without me once.
Speaker 1: I remember she was like unpacking the house and cleaning things.
Speaker 1: And once she was doing that, she was packing and
Speaker 1: then she came in raved about how good it was. Well,
Speaker 1: there was an InStyle article about Drew Barrymore who said
Speaker 1: that Britain inspired her to get back on dating apps,
Speaker 1: which is quite interesting because from what I've seen from
Speaker 1: the show, it's a little risk ay to say the least.
Speaker 1: I don't know if Caitlin can speak upon that, but
Speaker 1: it seems like, uh, like porn for women. That's how
Speaker 1: Ashley described it to me. I'm not describing it like that.
Speaker 1: That's the way Ashley, my wife, who has watched the show,
Speaker 1: told me. It was sounds like fifty shades of Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's why. I don't know. It looks like it it's
Speaker 1: just like this one dude who's like smoking hot and
Speaker 1: it looks like he's just sleeping with I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's one woman, multiple win. I don't know the
Speaker 1: show all that well, but like I don't know, Apparently
Speaker 1: it inspired Drew barry and get back on dating apps.
Speaker 1: So if you're out there and you're on you know,
Speaker 1: you're a dating app? What what app do you think
Speaker 1: Drew Barrymore is on? Oh? Definitely what the what is
Speaker 1: that one? Um ran? Oh? Yeah, don't think he's on
Speaker 1: like Bumble or something. I mean, if Drew Barrymore is
Speaker 1: on Bumble, huh? What show? Actually poking her head and
Speaker 1: of course, what do you mean there's a whole bunch
Speaker 1: of girls trying long guy? No? Is it one? All right?
Speaker 1: I don't know the show concept, is it? I just
Speaker 1: know that really good looking guy, and is it? Is it?
Speaker 1: He does he just sleep with one woman? Yes, that's
Speaker 1: why it's so great, Okay, but it's very risk in
Speaker 1: the bounds of marriage. They're married. Oh yeah, they didn't
Speaker 1: do anything until they're married. They didn't do anything until
Speaker 1: they're married. And then they have like S and M exactly,
Speaker 1: not S and M at all? How is it not
Speaker 1: S ANDM? Worried? It's not that it's not man. This
Speaker 1: is what we're talking about. This is a difference because
Speaker 1: one they're very in love and too it's like romantic sactus.
Speaker 1: It's not like bounded. It's like she's like an empire
Speaker 1: waisted dress in the corset. Fireplace burning in the background,
Speaker 1: stone fired, but definite only a girl stuff. So that's
Speaker 1: what you want. You want a stone fireplace in the
Speaker 1: background while you're wearing a corsett. Exactly. Well, I don't
Speaker 1: know if we can. I don't know if that's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: But you don't even mind that you like that not
Speaker 1: that you'd like a corset in a fireplace? A corset
Speaker 1: in a fireplace? What is a corset? Do you know
Speaker 1: what a corsett is? Dean, Yeah, of course. It's the
Speaker 1: thing that gives the women the hour last figure. Oh
Speaker 1: that okay, yeah, okay, I know what that is. Yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, yeah, no, I like that. All right, Maybe
Speaker 1: I can get down with the show. It's so nice
Speaker 1: that we just had a glimpse into a regular conversation
Speaker 1: with Ashley and Jared. Yeah, this is a daily thing
Speaker 1: for us. It's very nice. Drew Barrymore is definitely not
Speaker 1: on Bumble. She's definitely on RYA. Yeah, I think that.
Speaker 1: I think the article said that she's on rya dating app. Though,
Speaker 1: come on, now, is she gonna be she just wants
Speaker 1: to be like a regular guy. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know who knows. I don't know. Honestly, ever, since dates,
Speaker 1: I have no idea what you're Mary Bors has has done?
Speaker 1: She's done? Uh yeah, that's a great question. Actually, what
Speaker 1: the hell has Drew very More done recently? I don't know.
Speaker 1: But more importantly, I hope she finds a guy and
Speaker 1: then maybe she does want like just like you know,
Speaker 1: a construction worker, like who knows nothing wrong with that
Speaker 1: zac Efron. Do you hear his story? Our boy Zach,
Speaker 1: he's dating uh a waitress that he meant well well
Speaker 1: out to dinner one day. Wow, I think I think
Speaker 1: that's the story. I'm also para that's great for the
Speaker 1: waitress to be able to like see Zach zac Efron
Speaker 1: come in light on him and then end up dating
Speaker 1: And that's pretty great. What about There's also some some
Speaker 1: topical news and the Armists and Ben Affleck have recently split.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I mean you know my love for Ben Affleck.
Speaker 1: I just feel like a kinship with that human being.
Speaker 1: Like he's a Boston boy, he's a Red Sox fan,
Speaker 1: Pats fan. He's friends with Tom Brady. He defended Tom
Speaker 1: Brady to know h Throughout the flake Gate he was batman.
Speaker 1: Like this guy he just like speaks to me. He
Speaker 1: was a bad batman, but you know, out of here
Speaker 1: he was such a good batman after Christian Baylor's just
Speaker 1: no comparison in my opinion. But well, anyway, we agree
Speaker 1: to disagree. But one time I posted a clip of
Speaker 1: Ben Affleck on ESPN where he's talking about Tom Brady
Speaker 1: and uh, he talks about how Tom Brady's God. It's
Speaker 1: very funny. So I posted and I tagged him in it,
Speaker 1: and he liked it on Instagram. Now, granted, does Ben
Speaker 1: Affleck run his own Instagram account? Probably not, but as
Speaker 1: you can see right there there it is. I didn't
Speaker 1: even I don't even think he had an Instagram account
Speaker 1: because I was creeping on a day armisis to see
Speaker 1: like how the split went on the Instagram for them,
Speaker 1: and he wasn't tagged in anything. So I was even surprised.
Speaker 1: He probably doesn't run his own Instagram. He probably just
Speaker 1: has it for like promotional reasons because he has like
Speaker 1: four million followers, So like if he's doing a new
Speaker 1: movie or something like that, who just posted on there
Speaker 1: and get free marketing. Then Affleck has to have more
Speaker 1: than four million followers on Instagram. He has four point four.
Speaker 1: He doesn't use it, that's why. But I also think, listen,
Speaker 1: I mean it's sad. I hope I want Ben to
Speaker 1: be happy. Like I said, I feel for a certain kinship.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that like him and I would be
Speaker 1: best friends if we've met in real life. But the
Speaker 1: point is I think him and Jennifer Gardner, I just
Speaker 1: really want them to get back together. Like that's one
Speaker 1: of those couples that you're like, I get it. I'm
Speaker 1: just rooting for them, but it doesn't matter because I
Speaker 1: want them to be happy. And if they're happier without
Speaker 1: each other than I get it. But like, him and
Speaker 1: Jennifer Gardner are just a great couple. They have kids together,
Speaker 1: they seem so happy there. I just I want them
Speaker 1: to be together, you know. And then he even said
Speaker 1: one time his greatest regret was getting a divorce from
Speaker 1: Jennifer Garner. So sweet, Yeah, do you ever hear the
Speaker 1: story He told about how one time he was late
Speaker 1: to his kid's birthday party and he like his um,
Speaker 1: his agent forgot gifts for the kids, and he was like,
Speaker 1: so here, I am like a divorced dad going to
Speaker 1: a birthday party without the gifts, like and I have
Speaker 1: to tell them and so apparently, and then he told
Speaker 1: the story. A week before he was filming or doing
Speaker 1: something with Adam Driver, who was obviously Kyler Rennis our Wars,
Speaker 1: and Adam Driver sent gifts to the house on on
Speaker 1: like on his behalf saying like, oh, I met your
Speaker 1: dad wanted to give you some stuff, and he came
Speaker 1: like he gave the kid a lightsaber and like you know,
Speaker 1: Kylo Rendall and Ben Affleck starts like tearing up, like
Speaker 1: tells his story because he felt like Adam Driver saved
Speaker 1: the day because he made Ben Affleck the cool dad
Speaker 1: that day even though his you know, assistant forgot the gifts.
Speaker 1: It was like such a cool story. So I'm always
Speaker 1: room for that guy. I don't really want him to
Speaker 1: Jennifer Garden to get back together. Do you want to
Speaker 1: know who? I think on a da Armis would be
Speaker 1: really good with my one of my best friends, Jackson
Speaker 1: show Fember So on a day Armis. If you're listening
Speaker 1: to this, Jackson's a really nice guy. He's got a
Speaker 1: normal job. He's really kind, really thoughtful. Just give it
Speaker 1: a chance. Okay, well the idea, let's get how old
Speaker 1: is he? Jackson is thirty two? Okay? On as an
Speaker 1: inner on I think it's on on a day Armis
Speaker 1: and and she used to live in Venice. You know,
Speaker 1: he's a big Venice guy. They actually have they crossed
Speaker 1: passed a couple of times at the coffee shops over there.
Speaker 1: So out of the Armist. If you're listening to this, uh,
Speaker 1: feel free to reach out to anyone that works on
Speaker 1: this podcast. I'll get the information over to you. And
Speaker 1: you know, just just just considered as a possibility, don't
Speaker 1: you know, No pressure anything though. Yeah, have her people
Speaker 1: get in touch with our people, and then we'll get
Speaker 1: our people in touch with your boy. I want to
Speaker 1: tell you guys about the people that we're having on
Speaker 1: as our guests coming up too. It's gonna be a
Speaker 1: great segment. We have Kim and Kevin from Bling Empire,
Speaker 1: which is a reality TV show on it Netflix. Um,
Speaker 1: we're going to talk to them about what's going on
Speaker 1: with their lives. They're interesting, Um romantic entanglement if you will. Uh,
Speaker 1: but we're gonna get to that just after this quick
Speaker 1: breaks to stay tuned for that. Hey, welcome back to
Speaker 1: help I suck at dating. I am in my wife's
Speaker 1: glam room. Dean of course, is in his car with Caitlin.
Speaker 1: Poor Kalin still listening. We have two wonderful guests coming
Speaker 1: up from the brand new show on Netflix, Bling Empire,
Speaker 1: which the first season just dropped January fifteen, so you
Speaker 1: can go watch it right now. We have Kim Lee
Speaker 1: and Kevin Crieter. Kevin and Kim, First of all, how
Speaker 1: are you and thank you so much for joining the podcast.
Speaker 1: Are you thanks for having us? Of course? So you
Speaker 1: guys are both in l A right now, yes, uh
Speaker 1: so tell us a little bit about Bling Empire. So Kim,
Speaker 1: I'll start with you. How did you get involved in
Speaker 1: Bling Empire and what made you want to do it? Um?
Speaker 1: Long story short back in UM when Crazy Rich Asians
Speaker 1: movie came out. Before that, I'm sorry, before Crazy Rich
Speaker 1: Asians movie came out, John m To the director actually
Speaker 1: sent me um a script to read and I thought
Speaker 1: at that time, like what is an all Asian cast?
Speaker 1: So I was on tour and I literally just filmed
Speaker 1: it in my hotel room. I didn't put I put
Speaker 1: zero effort into this, and next you know, this movie
Speaker 1: blows up. It was basically like our Black Panther for Asians.
Speaker 1: And I've never regretted anything ever. But because of that, um,
Speaker 1: you know, Bravo Network reached out to me like a
Speaker 1: year later and UM They're like, hey, are we want
Speaker 1: to do an all Asian reality show? And they asked
Speaker 1: me to go look for other Asian cast members and
Speaker 1: I was like, well, that's not my job. I'll do
Speaker 1: this for you guys. So m yeah, it's so crazy.
Speaker 1: I literally went on my Instagram and I came across
Speaker 1: Kane's page and I was like, who is this guy?
Speaker 1: He lives such a lavish lifestyle. So I told Bravol,
Speaker 1: you guys need to get this guy. So they're like,
Speaker 1: won't you d M him. I'm like, okay, I'll final
Speaker 1: DM him. And then next you know, Kane was like,
Speaker 1: don't sign anything. You need to meet our people. So
Speaker 1: that very same night, I went to the Hollywood Hills
Speaker 1: met Jeff Jenkins and he was like him, you are
Speaker 1: missing piece and here we are being but a boom.
Speaker 1: How about you? Ken? My story is a little bit different.
Speaker 1: I was in Philadelphia. I was looking for a new
Speaker 1: place in my life. My rent was up and my
Speaker 1: lease was up. And then I was doing a lot
Speaker 1: of videos on Asian masculinity and on Ted Talks and
Speaker 1: huffing them post and what it was like to be
Speaker 1: like a model as an Asian guy, and and and
Speaker 1: dating actually an Asian as an Asian guy, and that
Speaker 1: really took off, and Kelly Kelly was at the time,
Speaker 1: I didn't know she was a producer of anything, and
Speaker 1: she's just like, you should come to l A like
Speaker 1: things are better. Crazy rich Asian's exploded, You're now like
Speaker 1: desired and sought after, and I was like, are you sure?
Speaker 1: And then I went out and visited her, and I
Speaker 1: met her and I met Caine right away, I met
Speaker 1: the rest of everybody else, and they just said, hey,
Speaker 1: you should be you should be in a show with this.
Speaker 1: And I just said to them, I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: not rich at all. You do know that I don't
Speaker 1: want to like devalue your show. And they're like, well,
Speaker 1: it's the thing about going a different angle, and I
Speaker 1: think you gotta get along with them. Why don't you
Speaker 1: just come along and just see what happens. And I
Speaker 1: was like, I can do that. As long as you
Speaker 1: don't make me like pay for anything, I'm okay. And
Speaker 1: that's kind of how it went down. It's it's one
Speaker 1: of you guys mentioned that because I kind of when
Speaker 1: I when I watched like the teaser or the sizzle
Speaker 1: or whatever you wanna call it, um, the first thing
Speaker 1: that came to my mind was crazy at Aasians in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. So it sounds like that's kind of like
Speaker 1: the angle. Um Kim, you said that they talked to
Speaker 1: you about that movie where so you like it did
Speaker 1: audition for a role or like the role that played
Speaker 1: or funny, I think it was Constant who it was
Speaker 1: like actually a role, a legit role. Yeah, but again,
Speaker 1: I mean at that time, I mean hearing all Asian casts,
Speaker 1: thought that was going to be something cheesy or that's
Speaker 1: I'm going to blow up, and like, what the hell
Speaker 1: that's really yeah. Yeah, I mean I was really shocked.
Speaker 1: It took me like a couple of months to to
Speaker 1: like kind of get over it, and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I gotta support it. I mean, it's ahead. And this
Speaker 1: is the first time I got asked to be on
Speaker 1: in all Asian reality. It was like ten years ago
Speaker 1: so called k Town or whatever. Yeah, I got asked. No,
Speaker 1: I got asked to be on that, and I was
Speaker 1: flying out to Asia and do modeling and stuff. And
Speaker 1: it was actually a tough choice because I wanted to
Speaker 1: be on it. So I actually thought I missed that opportunity,
Speaker 1: but then he came out and I didn't miss it.
Speaker 1: Actually saved me because there's no way I would be
Speaker 1: on this show. If I would have taken that one.
Speaker 1: And so when they asked me to be on it,
Speaker 1: I was like, this is raped up my alley, Like
Speaker 1: I'm all about Asian representation and like a new way
Speaker 1: that Asian guys can be seen in the media and television,
Speaker 1: and it started happening in movies, so I thought, let's
Speaker 1: start this in reality, right well, And Kevin you're kind
Speaker 1: of you're like you're like the sex symbol too of
Speaker 1: at least of bling Empire for Kim that you let
Speaker 1: me rephrase that the mail sex symbol. Yeah, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: that that are trying to make that, Okay, Kim, I
Speaker 1: was sex symbol. And but you make a good point.
Speaker 1: That's interesting because, like you said, you did a lot
Speaker 1: of it, like those ted X talks and and you
Speaker 1: were talking to Huffington all that about um masculin tell
Speaker 1: me the lingo male masculinity, right right, So that kind
Speaker 1: of it's great because it allows you to do it
Speaker 1: and like like an authentic, in organic way through bring
Speaker 1: empire totally. Like I didn't have to pretend to be
Speaker 1: anybody else but myself, which is awesome. Like I didn't
Speaker 1: have to like learn a new language or play the
Speaker 1: nerdy and secure and like intimidated by everything. That's so stereotypical, right,
Speaker 1: I mean I even see, uh, some of the shows
Speaker 1: out there where they just do martial arts all the time,
Speaker 1: and I don't know martial arts at all, so that
Speaker 1: kind of limited my roles for anything. But so yeah,
Speaker 1: I think, um, it was an honor to actually portray
Speaker 1: that as well alongside with Kim. Did either one of
Speaker 1: you have any trepredations going into it and realizing like,
Speaker 1: holy crap, we're gonna we're gonna put our dating life
Speaker 1: on display for everyone to say. Not for me, I
Speaker 1: was like, my life sucks already, Like we can't get worse.
Speaker 1: My dating life sucks already, my career Like I'm not
Speaker 1: modeling much anymore, Like they can't get worse than this. Well,
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna get a lot better for you. Then.
Speaker 1: It's funny as much as like I'm like all on
Speaker 1: social media and I'm like a public figure whatever whatever
Speaker 1: you one called, I'm actually kind of private. So I
Speaker 1: did have like mixed emotions, you know, getting into this
Speaker 1: reality show. My damn, I'm really going to open up
Speaker 1: to the world about my dating life and all that.
Speaker 1: Do I really want to do that? You know, it's
Speaker 1: a big deal and it is. No. You're right though,
Speaker 1: because like you said, you're super successful DJ, you're a
Speaker 1: public figure. People know you're on social media. But like
Speaker 1: going on this show, people are going to see you
Speaker 1: in a different light than they've never seen before, and
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to really open up. And I remember
Speaker 1: when you know, yeah, it's crazy. I remember going on
Speaker 1: the Bachelorte and like it was much different because I was.
Speaker 1: It was much more like Kevin where I'm like, I
Speaker 1: just um nobody and so like whatever happens happens, but
Speaker 1: n't nobody. Okay, I don't mean, I don't mean Kevin
Speaker 1: was nobody. I mean I was a nobody, not Kevin.
Speaker 1: All right, No, no no, me as nobody. Kevin's a very
Speaker 1: big deal with great abs. Okay. I I had no
Speaker 1: abs going on the show. Look like you have abs now,
Speaker 1: though much appreciated. I don't want to I don't want
Speaker 1: to show off my it's really just a belly. As
Speaker 1: my wife is walking into the room, she can look
Speaker 1: at this, look at this guy. Good God, don't do that.
Speaker 1: When my wife's in the room, right, she's gonna bring
Speaker 1: it over you stay away, stay far away. Up there
Speaker 1: it is there they are again. Um Kim is very unimpressed.
Speaker 1: She's seen it too much, Like I've been there before. Well,
Speaker 1: speaking of you and Kim, you guys had, now I
Speaker 1: haven't had. I haven't been able to watch the show yet,
Speaker 1: but I heard that you two have a little bit
Speaker 1: of sparks flying between you. So I guess my question is,
Speaker 1: why are you guys not zooming in the same room?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? This is a good start,
Speaker 1: right or them been in the same room? Here are
Speaker 1: you guys in the same room, just different cameras? Oh
Speaker 1: you know what it is for me? I don't know
Speaker 1: about Kim, Um Kim. They asked like if why we
Speaker 1: didn't pursue anything, Like I think, first of all, him
Speaker 1: was caught in a really weird time, right, like she
Speaker 1: just found out the news about her father. It's kind
Speaker 1: of like to me, if I was to make a
Speaker 1: move or try to pick somebody up at our funeral home,
Speaker 1: it's creepy to make a real good romantic comedy, but
Speaker 1: like this is like real life, Like I don't wanna
Speaker 1: try to do anything with somebody who I'm friends with.
Speaker 1: Um in that period, because I also learned from Kelly's situation,
Speaker 1: she was like in a really weird time. Nobody died
Speaker 1: or anything, but it was like she's in a very
Speaker 1: vulnerable position, and I just didn't want to do something
Speaker 1: like that. That's all. Did you guys feel any pressure
Speaker 1: from like the fans of the audience? Uh? Once that
Speaker 1: became like a possibility or like got put into people's heads,
Speaker 1: did you feel pressure from them to like try to
Speaker 1: make a relationship work at all? Or Because because I guess,
Speaker 1: as far as I understand it, at least when you
Speaker 1: filmed the entire show before any of it aired, right,
Speaker 1: so I understand a lot of that must have been
Speaker 1: watered under the bridge at that point. But was there
Speaker 1: ever any like reconsiderations or anything like that. I can't
Speaker 1: have any reconsiderations, you know. What's funny, Like I guess,
Speaker 1: like Kevin, I do have chemistry, but I didn't realize
Speaker 1: that we do until I had to go back and
Speaker 1: watch the whole show, and I'm like, what are they
Speaker 1: talking about? Like do we really have chemistry like that?
Speaker 1: Because to me, like is it just natural with me
Speaker 1: and Kevin? You know, maybe maybe he closely, maybe for him.
Speaker 1: But I don't know, I don't know. I'm blessing you
Speaker 1: right now. I mean I feel like we can cut
Speaker 1: the sexual attention with the night. I know, just just
Speaker 1: if you want and I can hang up. We can
Speaker 1: give you guys a few minutes. No, there's there's definitely
Speaker 1: like I definitely know I felt something, especially during the
Speaker 1: finale when we were talking to it really made me
Speaker 1: kind of I showed, like, I think, a different side
Speaker 1: of me. It wasn't super flirtatious over the edge or
Speaker 1: something well that I would do with Kelly. It was
Speaker 1: like more I think, deeper, but like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I think we caught more of what people were talking
Speaker 1: about later as we before the show even aired. Like
Speaker 1: I think for me during the time when because we talk,
Speaker 1: we definitely talk and stuff. So I think there's a
Speaker 1: different relationship we have when we first went into shooting
Speaker 1: and doing everything. Hey, and honestly, I I got an
Speaker 1: ad minute. I guess because of what Kevin went through
Speaker 1: with you know, trying and finding his family and my
Speaker 1: my situation with my dad, I think it made me
Speaker 1: feel closer to him, you know what I mean, Like, Wow,
Speaker 1: I can actually talk to somebody about this and for
Speaker 1: him to go out of his too, sorry for him
Speaker 1: to go out of his way to go look for
Speaker 1: my bad biological father. I guess it mainly look at
Speaker 1: him differently, you know. Well, and let's be honest with ourselves.
Speaker 1: If you guys had kids, they would be the most
Speaker 1: attractive kids. I think the grace the face of the earth.
Speaker 1: You might have to do it just a better human society.
Speaker 1: If we did have kids and they weren't attractive, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, Kim, this is your fault. Kevin. You said
Speaker 1: you said in an interview that there were things that
Speaker 1: attracted to you to Kim, but there were some odd
Speaker 1: things that that didn't attract you to her. Something like that. Right,
Speaker 1: What was that about some odd things about Kim? I
Speaker 1: don't know. I think it's like her mixture of kind
Speaker 1: of goodish type of thing. But you're from Malibu, so
Speaker 1: it's like really using me. I'm like, which one are you?
Speaker 1: Am I gonna like gets bitch slapped? Or am I gonna?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna love me? You know, it's like which
Speaker 1: one is it? I can back you up if you
Speaker 1: get into a fight. You want me to be the
Speaker 1: girl to run away. What am I going to get
Speaker 1: into fight? Plus, No, I don't want you to fight.
Speaker 1: I don't want you to ruin this. Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: have a strong personality and I don't think Kevin's used
Speaker 1: to that. Well, Kim, what are some odd things that Kevin? Sorry,
Speaker 1: did you hang out with my mom? She's got a
Speaker 1: strong personality. Well maybe that's why your mom likes me,
Speaker 1: like she knows what's up? Like she saw me. She's
Speaker 1: like me. His mom get along. So well, it's just
Speaker 1: one of those like you out of eye right away.
Speaker 1: I mean, it seems like we need a season two
Speaker 1: of Bling Empire already, just to see where this relationship goes.
Speaker 1: I need more of this. I'm down for this. So Kim,
Speaker 1: do you want to ask you what do you like
Speaker 1: about me? Yeah? Well I was gonna say, what are
Speaker 1: some of the odd things about Kevin? Wherever? Some of
Speaker 1: the things that you like about Kevin? Too? Oh? My
Speaker 1: wife speaking in What's Up Bluing Empire? I was so
Speaker 1: excited to watch that. I saw the review the other day.
Speaker 1: It looks so good. My wifriend off, Kevin's taking a
Speaker 1: shirt off. I'm so excited. Yeah, I was like number
Speaker 1: five on it on Netflix and I was like, no,
Speaker 1: that looks like a show I can get into together.
Speaker 1: Kens you come, Oh you have to watch and find out.
Speaker 1: Oh god, anyway, we're back to the back to the
Speaker 1: podcast here, Kim. What are some of the things that
Speaker 1: you like about Kevin and what are some of the
Speaker 1: odd things that he does? I'm really going to go there.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Um. I love how fun Kevin is. And
Speaker 1: he's a very sweet carry guy. Um, not that smart,
Speaker 1: but it's cute, you know what I mean. Like, I
Speaker 1: think it's really fun. He has a great personality and
Speaker 1: obviously he's good looking. Um. The thing that turns me
Speaker 1: off is like I feel like you guess, it comes
Speaker 1: a little desperate sometimes with females, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: like like calm down, like and I don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe this show would change him though, who knows,
Speaker 1: But he comes up a little desperate sometimes and I'm
Speaker 1: just like, you give every he gives attention to every
Speaker 1: single female. I mean, I mean, my guy would be
Speaker 1: a little boogie like I'm too good for you, Like
Speaker 1: you know, like I know I look good, but you
Speaker 1: can't have this, you know? That gives him attention he's like,
Speaker 1: she's hot. I'm like, she's not hot. Bro, you're blind.
Speaker 1: That's not true. I don't say she's hot for everybody. No,
Speaker 1: not to everybody, just the one. It seems like that
Speaker 1: because I show you the ones normally, and I chocane
Speaker 1: the one. But it's like for me, you gotta understand,
Speaker 1: I had no options. I have plenty options. Now I
Speaker 1: can do that. So if you want that, now, I'll
Speaker 1: do that. That's what Los Angeles says to you. I
Speaker 1: feel like, yeah, but I would say to that like
Speaker 1: a man who No, I'm not saying necessarily a man whore.
Speaker 1: But let's say you move from I don't know, Philadelphia
Speaker 1: to Los Angeles, you start seeing a lot more beautiful people.
Speaker 1: On what I'm saying, there's a lot of sparkly things
Speaker 1: in in l A. See. Kim Kim was born and
Speaker 1: raised here, so she's numb to it. I'm from Philly,
Speaker 1: where it's you don't see all of this all the time,
Speaker 1: So of course the cast is beautiful, Like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: flirt with a lot of people, even the look look.
Speaker 1: Speaking from experience, I grew up in a very small
Speaker 1: town in the mountains in Colorado, and then when I
Speaker 1: moved to Los Angeles, I was like, WHOA, I didn't
Speaker 1: even know that many beautiful people exist that it was
Speaker 1: like sensory overload at that point, you know. So I
Speaker 1: definitely can understand where you're coming from. I'm sure it's
Speaker 1: the same for Gerrard, who is from right I one,
Speaker 1: which is I think barely even a state at this point.
Speaker 1: It's it's like a big city. Yeah, a big city exactly.
Speaker 1: So I mean, I understand where Kevin is coming from.
Speaker 1: We can't be too critical of them there. But okay,
Speaker 1: so question for you guys living the lifestyles that you live,
Speaker 1: and I know Kevin you said, uh, you know you
Speaker 1: are kind of like newer to this whole lifestyle, but
Speaker 1: not necessarily dating each other, but just dating in general.
Speaker 1: How do you do you consider it difficult? Is it
Speaker 1: like is it hard to meet people? And then when
Speaker 1: you meet those people as it hard to like stay
Speaker 1: interested or like just what is what is dating in general?
Speaker 1: Like for you guys, now, I find it really difficult
Speaker 1: actually here in Los Angeles. Like it's not because you
Speaker 1: can't meet people, it's just that you can't kind of
Speaker 1: share the same values and the same path and be
Speaker 1: able to openly communicate with each other or I'm too honest,
Speaker 1: and so people don't really know how to like handle that,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like it's like all these
Speaker 1: girls ask questions and like, hey, do you mind if
Speaker 1: I like cancel on you tonight like one hour before,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, I don't like that, like peace,
Speaker 1: and then they're like I wasn't expecting that. It's like, well,
Speaker 1: it's because every guy probably just bends over backwards for you,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not doing that, you know, And so my
Speaker 1: time is valuable, so respect my time, just like I'm
Speaker 1: respecting your time, and I just find a lot of
Speaker 1: people here don't respect your time. Um. I think that's
Speaker 1: actually one thing that I really like about Kim. She
Speaker 1: respects people's times. So anytime like we talk or hang
Speaker 1: out or have them out, she's always on time, which
Speaker 1: is shocking because really she's busy. She has a lot
Speaker 1: she could do, and like she still shows up. So
Speaker 1: I hear all these like girls from l A and
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, I'm busy. I was like, you know, buzy,
Speaker 1: you're you're either really bad at time management, which I
Speaker 1: want nothing to do with because it's going to bleed
Speaker 1: into my life, or you're just not interested. Be honest,
Speaker 1: and I'm okay with either one, but just be honest
Speaker 1: with me, like I'm just not that interested. Like I'll
Speaker 1: schudgle you in when I'm free. You know, that was
Speaker 1: a great answer, what about you, Kim? Dating has been
Speaker 1: very tough for me believe that they're not um because
Speaker 1: I have maybe I have high expectations. Um, you're gonna
Speaker 1: answer for me. Yeah, Um, I have press issues. I'm
Speaker 1: working on it. I'm you know, I what do you guys?
Speaker 1: I don't know. You guys probably going to be like
Speaker 1: this is really strange to a lot of people. But
Speaker 1: when I meet a person, the first thing I do
Speaker 1: is going on I go on the Instagram and look
Speaker 1: at who they follow and if I see a guy
Speaker 1: that's trying to hit on me, and if you're following
Speaker 1: like a thousand females, that's an automatic turn off from me,
Speaker 1: and I just get turned off. And it seems like
Speaker 1: a normal guy that's a card working that's not all
Speaker 1: up on Instagram because I use Instagram differently because I'm
Speaker 1: a public figure. But I'm not going in there sliding
Speaker 1: into every dude's DM like, hey, what's up showing them up?
Speaker 1: You know, so I'll use it differently. So I feel
Speaker 1: like it's it's tough, it's not easy. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I can only imagine it's funny. It's It's one of
Speaker 1: our constant questions that we get from our listeners is
Speaker 1: like wondering if the guy that they like is like
Speaker 1: liking a bunch of other girls pictures on Instagram. And
Speaker 1: I think Jared and I always kind of say the
Speaker 1: same thing. It's like, if guys are doing that, like,
Speaker 1: let's say they follow a bunch of you know, like
Speaker 1: uh like like instant Model, whatever, all the thirst traps,
Speaker 1: then they're probably sending you a lot of the same
Speaker 1: messages to a lot of other people rather than just you. Yes,
Speaker 1: I had a guy literally like, oh, you're so wifey,
Speaker 1: like you're my wife, you're my time, Um what I'm
Speaker 1: going to see you? And he's like, I'm a good guy.
Speaker 1: And I literally go on his Instagram. He like every
Speaker 1: single damn photo he sends the same emoji he sent
Speaker 1: on my page. I'm like, stop from very more. We
Speaker 1: I could work for the FBI. I really wanted to everything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so after Bling Empire season one. You just go and
Speaker 1: work for the FBI and we'll be good to go.
Speaker 1: I like that, guys. If you guys ever need help
Speaker 1: to investigate about anybody, I'm the person really is. I
Speaker 1: showed her like one person. Actually I didn't even show her.
Speaker 1: I just said, hey, look there's this new person that
Speaker 1: I'm like kind of compressing on, and I just said like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's Colombian. All of a sudden, in two minutes, she's
Speaker 1: telling me, Oh, these are the guy she follows. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is what she's really into. It was like, how
Speaker 1: do you even know what it is? And then I
Speaker 1: was like I don't even believe you because I didn't
Speaker 1: even give you a name or anything. And then she
Speaker 1: said the user name and I was like, how did
Speaker 1: you know? Damn that's good. I'll give you all the
Speaker 1: credit of the world. Maybe you should work for the FBI. Well,
Speaker 1: Ken and Kevin, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: We really appreciate it. Everybody listening please obviously you probably
Speaker 1: already watched it by now, but go watch season one
Speaker 1: of Bling m Part which is now on Netflix, and
Speaker 1: of course, follow Kim and Kevin on Instagram. Kim Ley
Speaker 1: and Kevin Cryter, thank you so much. You guys were awesome.
Speaker 1: Thanks guys. Bye, Yeah, thank you guys for joining us.
Speaker 1: Good luck with everything. Thank you, thank you. Uh, do
Speaker 1: you guys want to do some emails? Maybe we'll take
Speaker 1: a quick break and jump into some emails with our listeners.
Speaker 1: It sounds good, sweet, stay tuned. All right, everyone, welcome
Speaker 1: back to help I Suck at Dating. And as we
Speaker 1: always do over here at your favorite podcast, we're gonna
Speaker 1: wrap up with some listener emails. And if you're listening
Speaker 1: to this and you've got some questions for us yourself,
Speaker 1: be sure to email us I Suck at Dating at
Speaker 1: I heart Media dot com. Send them over, will answer
Speaker 1: them at least our best answer them. But we got Mark,
Speaker 1: our trusty Mark, to read them for us. So let's
Speaker 1: get to it, all right. So let's first one is
Speaker 1: specifically for Dean and Kalin, so it's good that she
Speaker 1: is near you so she can weigh in on this.
Speaker 1: And also I'm going to read it in three parts
Speaker 1: because it's three separate questions. Here's the first part from Molly.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend was injured a few months ago and since
Speaker 1: then we have not been very sexually intimate. Dean Is
Speaker 1: talked about how the physical intimacy aspect of his relationship
Speaker 1: took a hit after his injury, and I'm looking for
Speaker 1: advice on how to get over that. Has he gotten
Speaker 1: to the same place he was in before his injury?
Speaker 1: Did he and Kalen have conversations about it? How do
Speaker 1: I communicate this to my boyfriend without making him feel bad? Hmm,
Speaker 1: that is a good question. Well, I guess it really
Speaker 1: depends on what he injured, because like, my hip is
Speaker 1: a pretty it's a pretty important component to uh that process,
Speaker 1: if you will, or that that romantic development. Uh So,
Speaker 1: it took me a lot of time to kind of
Speaker 1: like get back This is kind of an awkward conversation
Speaker 1: with with kalin sitvery next to me. It took me
Speaker 1: a little bit of time to get back to it,
Speaker 1: and it's still let's take me a little bit of
Speaker 1: time to like fully get back into the swing of things.
Speaker 1: But I think I think it's a combination of like
Speaker 1: also being in COVID and all these things. I've been
Speaker 1: lazy on physical therapy all that kind of stuff. But
Speaker 1: I think it probably heard our relationship a little bit, right,
Speaker 1: What do you think I mean, it's hard too because
Speaker 1: I know that he's healing and a hip is a
Speaker 1: huge thing and fracturing your hip, so you want to
Speaker 1: be sensitive to that and you want to be respectful
Speaker 1: and just like I don't want you to be in pain.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of it just takes time. Yeah, maybe, um,
Speaker 1: maybe you could do some things that don't require him
Speaker 1: to move a whole lot. Maybe take that advice to
Speaker 1: yourself too. And I was just kidding, Um, yeah, I
Speaker 1: would say, just do some things that he would like
Speaker 1: that don't require him to move a whole lot. But
Speaker 1: is it is it his desire is gone too, as
Speaker 1: well as his physical abilities, because it sounds like the
Speaker 1: desire is not there as well. I think, well for me,
Speaker 1: at least when I was injured, especially over the first few,
Speaker 1: like three or four months, my like my motivation was
Speaker 1: really down. I was like kind of depressed because I
Speaker 1: wasn't able to do a lot of things. And I
Speaker 1: think those things have a pretty significant tie to your
Speaker 1: sex drive, and so I'm sure sex drive is diminished
Speaker 1: because of it. Um, So like definitely take that out
Speaker 1: of the consideration. A big thing for me and for
Speaker 1: my sex drive again, as awkward as this is to
Speaker 1: have the conversation with, but in communication, like like Molly asked,
Speaker 1: is incredibly important. So it's it's, you know, it's always
Speaker 1: good to have these conversations. My sex drive is also
Speaker 1: linked pretty firmly to like my well a like the
Speaker 1: adventuring that I'm doing, Like if I'm fulfilled in my
Speaker 1: adventures and be like if I'm feeling physically fit, Like
Speaker 1: I've been really out of shape especially since my injury,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm practicing on the pounds around
Speaker 1: like the middle area, you know, like the gut and
Speaker 1: all that stuff, and so like I feel a little
Speaker 1: bit of body and security and that's kind of reduced
Speaker 1: my sex drive a little bit too. So I think
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things that an injury will have
Speaker 1: an impact on um, and I think a lot of
Speaker 1: those things also impact your sex stuff pretty significantly. So
Speaker 1: it's like, uh, it's always important to have the conversations
Speaker 1: about it, but it's probably stuff that will fix itself
Speaker 1: once you start dealing more significantly. I say, we titled
Speaker 1: this podcast Dean sex Drive. Yeah, make that the head
Speaker 1: or in parentheses, Dean's sex drive. Got it? Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: while Molly has you here. She has a few more
Speaker 1: questions for Dean. She says, I've always wondered whether or
Speaker 1: not you went into Paradise knowing you wanted to take
Speaker 1: Kaylin on the date, or if you only decided after
Speaker 1: your conversation. What was it about her that made you
Speaker 1: choose her? Mm hmm. That's a good question. Um. I
Speaker 1: think I've talked about this in the podcast before or
Speaker 1: maybe with Klin privately at some point, but I'll share
Speaker 1: to here anyways. So yeah, the typical like format for
Speaker 1: when you arrive into Paradise is you probably pull like
Speaker 1: three or four people aside, have a conversation with them, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, see who you might hit it off with
Speaker 1: more than the rest of them, and then you go
Speaker 1: on later like you know, five Timetes later asked him
Speaker 1: on a date, and I remember I went down to
Speaker 1: the beach for time, uh, pulled a couple of people aside. Uh.
Speaker 1: And then I remember like talking to one of my
Speaker 1: producer friends. He was like, Okay, well who are you
Speaker 1: going to take on a date now? And I remember
Speaker 1: I remember telling him I was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to take any of them on a date, not because
Speaker 1: there was like bad conversation anything, but because they were
Speaker 1: all partying quite a lot before I got there, and
Speaker 1: so they were all like, you know, drunk, and I
Speaker 1: was like dead sober as I was the entire time
Speaker 1: on the on the beach at that time, and I
Speaker 1: was like, this is just like it seems like a mess.
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to pull any of them away.
Speaker 1: I don't want them to like, you know, stop partying. Uh.
Speaker 1: And then my producer I was talking to was like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: like did you take Haylen, Like you guys obviously hit
Speaker 1: it off, and I think that that would be a
Speaker 1: good date to take her on. And like obviously we
Speaker 1: had you know, our d M s h that we
Speaker 1: she slid into d MS and we had like a
Speaker 1: little like minor conversation before we've been going there, um,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, okay, Like she's obviously the
Speaker 1: one that I got along the best with. I think
Speaker 1: she'll be okay with going on the date too, because
Speaker 1: it's funny like when I was going the first time
Speaker 1: in Paradise or even in Winter Games, It's like I
Speaker 1: almost didn't want to go on a date because it
Speaker 1: was more fun to like just hang out at the
Speaker 1: beach or hang out the house with your friends, and
Speaker 1: so I was a little, uh, I was a little
Speaker 1: timid about doing that. But yeah, I think that answered
Speaker 1: the question, right, I think so. And she also is
Speaker 1: wondering what happened with you and Brie actually, as if
Speaker 1: she if Brie had been in Paradise when you got there,
Speaker 1: would you have taken her on the date? Yeah, well
Speaker 1: this isn't another awkward question, sure is? Yeah? Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean Brie and I like dated for a few
Speaker 1: months before Paradise or anything like that. And I mean, which,
Speaker 1: just as has young relationships, do they fall apart for
Speaker 1: one reason or another. There's no real reason as to why.
Speaker 1: Just you know, I think that was the That was
Speaker 1: kind of the phase of my life too, where I
Speaker 1: was like, all right, the moment everything in ra Van,
Speaker 1: I want to be untethered and you know, I want
Speaker 1: to be able to like roam as freely as a
Speaker 1: possibly could. Um. And then yeah, I think the day
Speaker 1: that I left Paradise with Kalin was the same day
Speaker 1: that three came down to the beach, So there wasn't
Speaker 1: any like overlap, which and all honestly probably was a
Speaker 1: good thing because it saved any like awkwardness from unraveling,
Speaker 1: at least on my part and Caen's part. I'm sure so, uh.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think I would have taken Free
Speaker 1: on a date because we had already been on the
Speaker 1: day at that point. I kind of, you know, I
Speaker 1: think we both would have known what we were in
Speaker 1: store for, and I think both of us probably would
Speaker 1: have avoided back. So all right, thank you very thorough
Speaker 1: answers to Molly's very invasive questions. This is from Jane.
Speaker 1: Jane says, I got married two months ago after dating
Speaker 1: for two years. My mother and I are very close,
Speaker 1: but over the past few years I noticed her being
Speaker 1: more and more of a helicopter parent. Now that I'm married,
Speaker 1: I thought she would let me be a wife and
Speaker 1: enjoy newly red life, but that is not the case.
Speaker 1: She's been inserting herself and all of our decisions. I
Speaker 1: only talked to her. I don't share with my husband
Speaker 1: what she says, but we're talking budgeting, jobs, lifestyle, furniture
Speaker 1: in our house, kids, et cetera. I realized that she
Speaker 1: means well, but my question is how to deal with
Speaker 1: parents opinions, How to set those boundaries as I've never
Speaker 1: been able to have boundaries with her because of guilt.
Speaker 1: I am an only child and my father is not
Speaker 1: in the picture. This is a good question, uh one
Speaker 1: that's Kaitlin, and I don't really think he can answer
Speaker 1: because now that I wants have helicopter your parents really,
Speaker 1: I mean, you just have to set boundaries, Like Jane said,
Speaker 1: I think, Jared, Jared, this one is like the red
Speaker 1: of your alley. Yeah, you just have to set boundaries.
Speaker 1: I mean that's the first and foremost thing. I mean,
Speaker 1: you just have to. You kind of have to do
Speaker 1: the Sandwich effect. You know, you tell your mother listen,
Speaker 1: I love you very much. Uh, You're incredible, and then
Speaker 1: you tell her like, butt off, you know, I am
Speaker 1: a I'm a I'm a you know, I'm a wife.
Speaker 1: I'm doing what I need to do. I'm an independent person. Uh,
Speaker 1: And then you know tell her like, hey, listen, I
Speaker 1: love you, I still want you to be a part
Speaker 1: of my life, but you have to give me some
Speaker 1: independence or else like I'm never gonna be able to grow.
Speaker 1: So I think that's really the answer right there. You
Speaker 1: have to just like let your boundaries be known, tell
Speaker 1: her exactly how you feel. That's not gonna hurt her
Speaker 1: feelings as long as you just you know, keep repeating
Speaker 1: the old, you know, sentimental format. I don't know, markt
Speaker 1: what what if she's like giving What if she's like
Speaker 1: giving you advice and you're like taking the advice, but
Speaker 1: then you do something else to kind of like show
Speaker 1: her that while her her advice and criticism is welcome,
Speaker 1: it's not necessarily like the end all be all, because
Speaker 1: you're still your own individual person and you're married and
Speaker 1: you guys are still gonna do whatever you want, but
Speaker 1: you still appreciate their input, you know. Yeah, I guess
Speaker 1: it depends on how much she's quote unquote helicoptering her,
Speaker 1: Like is she just constantly uh constantly reaching out? Is
Speaker 1: she also like belittling her? Is it, Jane is like
Speaker 1: your mom belittling you and be like, don't be stupid,
Speaker 1: don't like make dumb mistakes. I don't know, It's it's
Speaker 1: too hard. It's only you know, like four sentences, So
Speaker 1: it's so hard to really know, especially with like a
Speaker 1: parent daughter relationship. But just let your boundaries be known.
Speaker 1: Have either you are actually ever had to deal with
Speaker 1: anything like that? No? I mean Ashley's mom is pretty
Speaker 1: I don't want to say she's definitely not overbearing, but
Speaker 1: she's done. Like she tells us every day like why
Speaker 1: are we not pregnant yet? Why we not have kids?
Speaker 1: Uh So that's probably the only aspect that she's overbearing.
Speaker 1: But I'm very lucky all our parents are, you know,
Speaker 1: very respectful of Ashley's and eyes independence. Mark, What about
Speaker 1: you have you? No? Not really no. My only feeling
Speaker 1: on this that you know, try to have some empathy
Speaker 1: for her, look at it through her eyes where she
Speaker 1: you needed her for everything for so many years and
Speaker 1: now you don't anymore, and that's really hard for her
Speaker 1: to let go of that. But also I think you
Speaker 1: let her give her opinion and then you do whatever
Speaker 1: you want because you and your husband made that decision.
Speaker 1: She asked you, I told you to do that. Why
Speaker 1: you do that while I talked to my husband and
Speaker 1: this is the decision we made. I think that way,
Speaker 1: you're setting boundaries and also just let her know that
Speaker 1: she's still needed by going to her for actual advice
Speaker 1: for certain things, like there's got to be some stuff
Speaker 1: you want her opinion on, and if you go to
Speaker 1: her for that, I think she'll appreciate that and maybe
Speaker 1: that will help kind of calm things down a little bit.
Speaker 1: I agree. I think a lot of times too, it's
Speaker 1: not necessarily the fact that you do what she's encouraging
Speaker 1: you to do, but the fact that you're like like
Speaker 1: hearing her out anyways, you know, like people just want
Speaker 1: to be heard, um and so I think that's I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously you guys know better than I would, but I
Speaker 1: think that's a big part of it too, I think so.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think that's those are emails this week, right?
Speaker 1: Or do we have any others? Know what you guys
Speaker 1: to Two emails is not enough. We need more emails.
Speaker 1: I suck a dating at iHeartMedia dot com. If we
Speaker 1: don't have five email stanswer next week, I'm going to
Speaker 1: absolutely go bananas. Um, So email us I suck at
Speaker 1: dating at iHeart media dot com. Ask us any type
Speaker 1: of relationship advice. Maybe just questions about the show, like
Speaker 1: Molly for instance, and next time I'll make sure Kalen
Speaker 1: isn't right next to me so it's a little less awkward.
Speaker 1: But I appreciate those because they just lend themselves to
Speaker 1: a better conversation. So I secon Dating at iHeartMedia dot com.
Speaker 1: What else there? Do you want to say anything else
Speaker 1: before we get out of here for the week. I
Speaker 1: love everybody you for listening to the podcast. Thank you,
Speaker 1: of course to Kim Lee and Kevin Croyter of Bling Empire,
Speaker 1: which is now playing on Netflix. Definitely go check that out. Dean.
Speaker 1: Please thank KLN for putting some input in the emails
Speaker 1: and for listening to our entire podcast in a car.
Speaker 1: It must have been pretty brutal. It's probably better than
Speaker 1: going than going to Walmart, though, So there's that, um
Speaker 1: and that will do it to make sure everybody tune
Speaker 1: in next week. Were hopefully we all suck a little less.
Speaker 1: Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to podcast