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Speaker 1: My husband openly brags to me and the kids about

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Speaker 1: how many women throw themselves at him. Okayop, this is Okayop.

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Speaker 1: I'm Samuel Daughner and I'm John Fry and John h.

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Speaker 1: People have been making fun of me recently.

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Speaker 2: They have. It's not acceptable.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of rude. I feel bad.

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Speaker 1: They said that my camera is so zoomed in that

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Speaker 1: they can see the back of my throat. And if

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Speaker 1: you could see the back of my throat, you would

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Speaker 1: understand that I don't have any tonsiles because I got

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Speaker 1: them taken out when I was like five.

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Speaker 4: They're honestly, I think they're just jealous of your your

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Speaker 4: good oral hygiene.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and maybe they have inflamed oral arouther than.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's just no one has better.

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Speaker 1: Or let the record show oral hygiene. That is hygiene.

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Speaker 1: Let's keep it clean, guys, Let's keep you clean. That's

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Speaker 1: how we do it. And with that anyway, with that

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Speaker 1: all right, John, I got his thory. I got his sory.

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Speaker 1: Hit me with a baby, all right. My husband openly

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Speaker 1: brags to me and the kids about how many women

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Speaker 1: throw themselves at him.

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Speaker 4: Kind of something you don't want to uh to brag about.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't know. If you're like kids, you wouldn't believe.

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Speaker 1: The dime that was trying to the broads that.

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Speaker 3: Was just throwing themselves.

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Speaker 1: I could have twisted every nipple within a mile radius

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Speaker 1: of this house, but I don't.

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Speaker 4: Maybe we just used all kids nineteen fifties terms described

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Speaker 4: like there was a bunch of broads, a bunch of themselves.

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Speaker 3: Could stop them. You know.

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Speaker 1: I was about I was about to do more nineteen

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Speaker 1: fifties stuff, but then I was just like, Okay, this

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Speaker 1: is getting it will get sexist, very crowd.

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Speaker 2: That's true.

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Speaker 4: I got one though, there's uh broads throwing themselves at

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Speaker 4: me like Dwight Eyes and how are throwing roads on

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Speaker 4: the inter estate?

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Speaker 2: Wow? That Wow?

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Speaker 4: See why his college and no one is offended.

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Speaker 3: I'm very impressed.

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Speaker 4: That's like the one thing I remember from Apuss, which

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Speaker 4: was like he invested very heavily in the road infrastructure,

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Speaker 4: just like this.

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Speaker 1: This dad's investing in these broads is.

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Speaker 2: Salami.

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Speaker 3: I'm salami service, yummy.

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Speaker 1: I mean all right, My husband and I are expats

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Speaker 1: in a country where the average household considers themselves lucky

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Speaker 1: to make two thousand to three thousand dollars a year.

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Speaker 1: So we're talking where probably like I don't know, like

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Speaker 1: South America's Africa lo low for the purpose I know,

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Speaker 1: and just just for for reference, like that covers like

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Speaker 1: two months rent maybe maybe maybe if you're lucky, you

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Speaker 1: got a deal.

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Speaker 2: Sam is the king of deals.

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Speaker 3: I try. I try.

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Speaker 2: I'm like the joker of deals.

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Speaker 1: For the purpose of not giving too much identifying information out,

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Speaker 1: I will be referring to the country as country Yugoslavia.

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Speaker 3: Eureka, you figured it out. No, I'm just e countries.

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Speaker 3: But Yugoslavia is not an.

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Speaker 4: I was about to say, you should go on country

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Speaker 4: that begins with the country that begins Estonia.

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Speaker 2: No, Estonia is pretty wealthy.

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Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, I don't know if it's a

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Speaker 1: Salvador El Salvador. Maybe El Salvador country e l Salvador.

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Speaker 1: Two and a half years ago, my husband, who works

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Speaker 1: in finance, was promoted to a position in which he

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Speaker 1: could finally have the compensation authority and projects that he

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Speaker 1: always dreamed of.

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Speaker 2: Nice.

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Speaker 1: The downside was the position would be in the company's

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Speaker 1: headquarters in another country, and basically it required us to

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Speaker 1: move away from our families and our friends but I

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Speaker 1: was so excited for my husband and our kids fifteen

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Speaker 1: female and ten male, were so happy about experiencing another

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Speaker 1: culture as well as supporting their dad, that we urged

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Speaker 1: my husband to take the position.

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Speaker 2: So everyone's on board. Yeah, it sounds like an adventure.

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Speaker 1: Family adventure, family adventure, making more money and exotic location

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Speaker 1: sounds good.

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Speaker 2: What could go wrong?

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Speaker 1: Because they were telling my husband they wanted to see

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Speaker 1: him there as soon as possible asap, we agreed that

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Speaker 1: he would go settle in and we would fly over

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Speaker 1: around two months later. It seems that the moment his

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Speaker 1: plane took off towards country e marked the beginning of

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Speaker 1: the end of all his feelings of respect and appreciation for.

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Speaker 3: Me and the kids. Oh God, things are going downhill.

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Speaker 1: After just two months apart, I could sense a drastic

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Speaker 1: change in my husband. He went from calling me and

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Speaker 1: the kids every day to every other day, and then

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Speaker 1: reducing communication just to texts. At first, I thought he

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Speaker 1: was just busy settling in, but the night before we

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Speaker 1: went to fly out, he video chatted us, and the

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Speaker 1: kids asked him why. He seemed disappointed that they were coming,

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Speaker 1: which is not what you want.

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Speaker 2: That's awful.

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Speaker 1: He said that they were just imagining things and it

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Speaker 1: was just how his face looked on camera, which, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe maybe we'll maybe. As we settled into our new home,

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Speaker 1: he shot us pretty resentful looks and continuously snapped at

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Speaker 1: me not to touch this or that. Like most expats,

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Speaker 1: we live in a home that was miles grander and

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Speaker 1: show we were then we could ever get back home

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Speaker 1: and with a lot of stuff like a company car

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Speaker 1: and housekeeping services paid for by the company, and my

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Speaker 1: husband had money to burn and started having ridiculously high

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Speaker 1: expectations about how we were dressed and how we look.

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Speaker 2: He bought himself loads.

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Speaker 1: Of designer watches with his fellow corporate Masters of the

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Speaker 1: Universe friends, and spent lavishly at restaurants and bars on

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Speaker 1: the company tab. He also invested quite a bit of

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Speaker 1: our money in real estate here, since the government is

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Speaker 1: pushing for foreign investors to invest, even adopting a more

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Speaker 1: liberal outward rhetoric in order to be more appealing to

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Speaker 1: the West. The country we live in has extreme wealth disparities,

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Speaker 1: most of it unfortunately not held by locals. There is

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Speaker 1: a center city where all the high end stores, hotels

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Speaker 1: and clubs and restaurants are, and then there are some

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Speaker 1: homes in the country as well. And despite the fact

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Speaker 1: that this country is technically conservative, escorting is rampant and

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Speaker 1: is an outgrowth of the generally desperate economic straits of

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Speaker 1: families and the fact that it is obvious who has

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Speaker 1: money and therefore where to go and who to target.

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Speaker 1: So basically a bunch of escorts are going to the

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Speaker 1: city center to drum up some business. The Western folks,

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Speaker 1: escorts are, apparently and basically everywhere in the area we

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Speaker 1: live where there are restaurants or bars or entertainment. When

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Speaker 1: men see dressed up local women in pairs roaming around

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Speaker 1: in establishments, they just assumed they're escorts, and ninety percent

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Speaker 1: of the time they're right.

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Speaker 2: Oh man.

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Speaker 1: An ex pat friend once asked a woman who approached

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Speaker 1: him at a bar, which he did for a living,

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Speaker 1: and she said, what does it look like I do

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Speaker 1: for a living?

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Speaker 2: I see?

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Speaker 1: My husband then started criticizing my appearance a lot, and

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Speaker 1: when we'd go out, he'd ask if I ever considered

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Speaker 1: wearing my hair like women a b or c. Or

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Speaker 1: we'll go out to eat as a family, and he

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Speaker 1: will ignore what the kids are saying and just stare

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Speaker 1: at different women, which that's just respectful man, Absolutely, like

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Speaker 1: keep your eyes on your food or your wife, or

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Speaker 1: your kids or your kids. Yeah, when his friends come over,

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Speaker 1: my husband always brags in front of me about the

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Speaker 1: women that approached him, not just at bars, but he

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Speaker 1: also brags about how local women who work in the

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Speaker 1: office with him are also exceptionally engaging. He even got

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Speaker 1: pretty aggressive when we were hooking up and wanted to

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Speaker 1: choke me and pee on me. This is getting dark,

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Speaker 1: This is getting dark. When we tried some more intense stuff,

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Speaker 1: he pulled my hair hard enough to draw blood, and

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Speaker 1: when I said I didn't want to do it anymore,

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Speaker 1: he started screaming that a bunch of women who looked

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Speaker 1: exactly like his type would be eager to do it

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Speaker 1: all and more for less than I spend on dinner. Geez, God, geez,

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Speaker 1: I'm not having fun. My daughter found a bunch of

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Speaker 1: contacts on his phone that blew up his phone with

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Speaker 1: flirty messages on WhatsApp, and instead of at least pretending

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Speaker 1: to be ashamed for a daughter's sake, he went, well,

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Speaker 1: at least your dad's still attractive.

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Speaker 2: How is that supposed to make a kid feel better.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you're cheating on mom, and there's like

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Speaker 1: your dad's got some pretty good looks, still looking.

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Speaker 3: No, no, that's not how you handle it.

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Speaker 1: And then it turned into a diet tribe about how

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Speaker 1: he had to give out the number to one woman

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Speaker 1: because you look close to tears when he tried to

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Speaker 1: pull away, which likely story wrote, well, most women are

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Speaker 1: respectful when a man is with his wife and or

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Speaker 1: a family. Sometimes it happens where we're at restaurants and

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Speaker 1: hotels and my husband is just like a regular there

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Speaker 1: for dinner, and then women who I assume are also

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Speaker 1: regulars will disregard my presence and give me scornful once overs.

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Speaker 1: When we were out as a family and my husband

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Speaker 1: sees a woman give he's attire and improving once over,

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Speaker 1: he will smile, flirtatiously back and seem to bask in

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Speaker 1: the glow and not pay any attention to me or

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Speaker 1: the kids.

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Speaker 2: And it's like, these are people who just want your money.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, bro, this has nothing nothing to do with your life,

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Speaker 1: nothing at all.

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Speaker 3: They're just trying to milk you for all it's worth.

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Speaker 2: Move moo mooh.

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Speaker 1: I've been to support groups and have been told to

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Speaker 1: let it wear off because many other wives have experienced

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Speaker 1: their husbands being drunk on attention.

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Speaker 3: Also, what kind of.

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Speaker 2: Support group is that? It's like terrible your fault?

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Speaker 3: Just the boys will be boys, husbands will be husbands.

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Speaker 2: Who's giving this support?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this is a terrible support.

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Speaker 2: Support joined the support, Yeah yeah, and.

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Speaker 1: We'll give you better support than freaking whatever you're getting.

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Speaker 1: But my husband seems to be getting more and more

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Speaker 1: obsessed with the attention. My son is young, but he

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Speaker 1: has gone from happy, go lucky to glaring at his

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Speaker 1: father and whoever he is smiling at. My husband and

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Speaker 1: I have tried to communicate, but everything turns into my fault.

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Speaker 1: I do not appreciate his contributions enough, he says. I

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Speaker 1: don't appreciate his contributions enough when I disagree with him

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Speaker 1: saying the kids don't need to learn how to do

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Speaker 1: laundry because the housekeeper will do it for them. I

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Speaker 1: also don't appreciate him when he continually asked a hook

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Speaker 1: up for the third time in a night. I do

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Speaker 1: not appreciate him when I moved the furniture from how

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Speaker 1: he organized it, or when I disagree with him on anything.

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Speaker 1: I started tracking our banking information and found out that

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Speaker 1: he made numerous large withdrawals. He denied vehemently that he

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Speaker 1: was seeing escorts and said I seemed jealous and had

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Speaker 1: something against people who escorts, like I don't use escorts,

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Speaker 1: but how dare you judge people who use escorts?

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Speaker 2: I don't use them, but you should have judged them,

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Speaker 2: oh man.

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Speaker 1: I told him that to the contrary, I feel bad

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Speaker 1: for people who need to put their lives in house

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Speaker 1: at risk like this, and that these people don't have

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Speaker 1: any forms of government assistant. We had a big fight

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Speaker 1: that night, and I went to stay with a friend

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Speaker 1: for the night to cool off. When I came back home,

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Speaker 1: he glared at me and said, oh, you're back. I

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Speaker 1: don't want you here anymore. Excuse me, rude, rude. I

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Speaker 1: do not know what to do. My support group keeps

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Speaker 1: telling me that he will get off his power trip,

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Speaker 1: but if I leave him, I will likely lose any

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Speaker 1: assets I have here. My kids obviously still have school

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Speaker 1: and love their classmate. I need any advice on how

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Speaker 1: to save my marriage or how to get my husband

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Speaker 1: to stop thinking that I am not enough for him

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Speaker 1: when I haven't changed from when we were not expats,

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Speaker 1: while he respected and appreciated me.

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Speaker 3: Back at home, he scorns me here what should I do?

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Speaker 2: Wow? I mean god, what a bro.

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Speaker 1: The post says it all break up with him, leave

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Speaker 1: with the kids, get a divorce.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, God, he like, run far, far away.

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Speaker 4: He's treating you like garbage, like he's not doing anything

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Speaker 4: at all.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: And it's and also it's like it's just so clear

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Speaker 4: his behavior before and after, So it's like something there

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Speaker 4: made him change.

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Speaker 2: And I think we all have a pretty good idea

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Speaker 2: of what that was.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, escorts, yep, but man, run for the hills, bro,

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Speaker 1: just like Ope, you deserve.

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Speaker 4: Better, absolutely, and you know where are Listeners should run

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Speaker 4: to Samuel.

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Speaker 1: Oh, they should run to the okop support group otherwise

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Speaker 1: known as the subscribe.

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Speaker 2: Button one, the follow.

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Speaker 1: Button on Spotify and the follow button on ticktok. Make

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Speaker 1: sure to support us wherever you can. And then I'd

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Speaker 1: also like to give a special shout out to our

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Speaker 1: very like like our growing Patreon base. We really appreciate you.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely we have Oh we have another we have a

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Speaker 4: new one as we have the og Scott Squad, Kathy Quigley,

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Speaker 4: Keegan Simmons, Desiree Canterbury, Connor Van Baron, Nina Campbell and.

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Speaker 3: Newest edition will Co Wilco.

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Speaker 2: If you guys want to shout out at the end

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Speaker 2: of the episode, you know what to do. Join The

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Speaker 2: Patreon link is in the bio.

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Speaker 1: Please help us make more things. Yes, this is great,

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Speaker 1: This is our pride and joy. Yes, it is our

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Speaker 1: lovely love message.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, see you very lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, And we'll

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Speaker 3: see you

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Speaker 2: Guys next time.