Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental Wealth podcast
Speaker 1: Build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 1: Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.
Speaker 1: I'm Jay Glazer. It's a special holiday edition. So the
Speaker 1: guests today are you and me. What I want to
Speaker 1: do here is I know the holidays are hard for
Speaker 1: a lot of us, and I always wanted looking back now,
Speaker 1: I wish the guy i'm now could help the guy
Speaker 1: was back then to get through some of these holidays.
Speaker 1: Holidays are difficult for a lot of us. A lot
Speaker 1: of times them when family is hard, a lot of times,
Speaker 1: loneliness is hard. It hits us hard. So what I
Speaker 1: want to try and do today is see where I
Speaker 1: can help, See if I can coach, See if I
Speaker 1: can maybe inspire people to make these holidays a little
Speaker 1: bit easier for all of us. And some of the
Speaker 1: things that have kind of helped me along the way. So,
Speaker 1: first of all, one of the things that we could
Speaker 1: really do for people who and I'll get into people
Speaker 1: who could be triggered in a second, but there's holidays
Speaker 1: where I didn't go anywhere else or I had to work,
Speaker 1: and you know, that kind of that loneliness on those
Speaker 1: holidays gets to Even though I knew I was working,
Speaker 1: it still kind of got to me, and the loneliness
Speaker 1: was really hard. So what I try to do on
Speaker 1: those years is I decide I'm going to go be
Speaker 1: of service and I would go feed the homeless during Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: I would go to shelters to help during Thanksgiving in
Speaker 1: the past. Also, I've got a military basis and that
Speaker 1: was through Fox. But my point is, if you're of service,
Speaker 1: it really takes away And this is a big goal
Speaker 1: of mine in dealing with the great dealing with your
Speaker 1: depression and anxiety. When we're of service, it cuts through
Speaker 1: that gray and it gets us to see the blue.
Speaker 1: Will no better time for you to be of service
Speaker 1: than the holidays and say it on yourself. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm going to actually celebrate, celebrate myself by being of
Speaker 1: service helping others. Could be an animal shelter, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: figure it out. When I was really broke in New
Speaker 1: York City, you know, I had a bartend on the
Speaker 1: holidays and there was a Barcoe let's make a dacorate
Speaker 1: at the South Street Seaport. I would then go get
Speaker 1: food and I would go out and hand them to
Speaker 1: the homeless, and I'd be like, I'm gonna have Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: with them. How as that sounds some of the best
Speaker 1: Thanksgivings I've had, people will really appreciate it. And again,
Speaker 1: when you were of service, it's really hard to tell
Speaker 1: you bad things about yourself. So right now on holiday times,
Speaker 1: we tend to beat up on ourselves a lot if
Speaker 1: we are alone or when your service. The roommates in
Speaker 1: your head don't get that voice. The roommates in your
Speaker 1: head don't get to set the narrative. So I can't
Speaker 1: tell you enough how important that is. And by the way,
Speaker 1: even if you do have somewhere to go, figure out
Speaker 1: a place, something some way, you could still be of
Speaker 1: service because you have that in your back pocket. No
Speaker 1: matter what, it really helps us during the holidays. Number two,
Speaker 1: lean into your teammates. You hear me say this all
Speaker 1: the time. And what I mean by this is, even
Speaker 1: before you're gonna go where you're gonna go, call your boys,
Speaker 1: call your home girls, call your sisters, your brothers, call
Speaker 1: your people and say, listen, this may be a hard
Speaker 1: one for me. Are you gonna be available? Can I
Speaker 1: talk to you? If they are. If I need to
Speaker 1: take a step away, can I holler? Because a lot
Speaker 1: of times too somebody will say absolutely and they needed it. Also,
Speaker 1: So lean into your teammates, really lean in. Also, like
Speaker 1: I'm saying, at a time like this, going into it,
Speaker 1: if you know that you're gonna go, let's see family
Speaker 1: and it's gonna trigger you, talk to your crew about it.
Speaker 1: Talk to your crew about it going in, get ideas
Speaker 1: from them. How could I better handle this? How could
Speaker 1: I better not get beat up? How can I prevent
Speaker 1: myself from from going down these rabbit holes? So have
Speaker 1: these talks immediately, Immediately call your crew, Lean into your teammates,
Speaker 1: a look in. When I'm really struggling, I call two
Speaker 1: people used to be for but two people to tell
Speaker 1: them I'm struggling, and then two people to not tell
Speaker 1: him I'm struggling, just to check up on them, because
Speaker 1: that's being of service. So it's another thing, right, if
Speaker 1: you're having difficulties the holidays, just call some of your teammates,
Speaker 1: check up on them, see how they're doing. It's another
Speaker 1: way for you to be of service. But it's keeping
Speaker 1: you connected to your teammates, and that's protecting your own sanity.
Speaker 1: It's building your own fortress about what can keep you
Speaker 1: happy and keep you safe. The whole point is we
Speaker 1: got to keep ourselves safe here. Number three, Stay in
Speaker 1: your rituals. I now I have all these rituals, breathwork, meditation,
Speaker 1: gratitude list, working out. I do a cold plunk that
Speaker 1: Michael Phelps, my brother sent me called Chili Goat little
Speaker 1: plug there for him we do. I say these prayers
Speaker 1: with Rosy and myself. But I have these rituals that
Speaker 1: I now do religiously. I do this whole thing for
Speaker 1: my hipsto my hips up every day kind of help me.
Speaker 1: I do this stretching routine, I do uh again, breath work,
Speaker 1: I do that a couple times a day. Stay in
Speaker 1: your routine so when you go somewhere and you know
Speaker 1: it's going to trigger you again, you want you want
Speaker 1: your rituals and your your schedule to be as structured
Speaker 1: as possible. So don't let yourself get thrown off course,
Speaker 1: thrown off base by being somewhere else. It's such an
Speaker 1: important thing because we tend to go somewhere else and
Speaker 1: you put it on hold. It's your support system. Don't
Speaker 1: get rid of your support system. When you need your
Speaker 1: support the most, make sure, no matter what, you prioritize
Speaker 1: what your rituals have become. Okay. Another thing here, A
Speaker 1: lot of times when we get triggered, okay, we feel
Speaker 1: like that helpless little kid again, that's hard, okay, and
Speaker 1: I feel like that helpless are beaten down little kid.
Speaker 1: So a couple of things. Number One, if you are triggered,
Speaker 1: first and foremost, immediately forgive yourself. Immediately. Just go to
Speaker 1: that next room, Go in that next room, forgive yourself.
Speaker 1: But the other thing I want you to do is
Speaker 1: go in the next room and love that little kid up. Okay.
Speaker 1: So I learned this from these monks in Thailand. And
Speaker 1: these monks said to me, Hey, we want you to
Speaker 1: want you to come to do the monk thing. We
Speaker 1: want you to not talk to anybody, and we want
Speaker 1: you to for three days. I'm not talking anybody for
Speaker 1: three days a month. I got ADHD, what are we
Speaker 1: talking about here? And they said, want you to do?
Speaker 1: And what you call yourself growing up was a jay?
Speaker 1: I said that was Jason. Okay, we want you to
Speaker 1: I'll talk to anybody, and we want you to just
Speaker 1: meditate and picture little Jason and hold his hand, put
Speaker 1: your arm around him, tell him you got him, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be okay, And show him some compassion because he
Speaker 1: probably doesn't feel like he's had enough or at any
Speaker 1: Love that little kid up. It changed my life. A
Speaker 1: lot of the issues I've had has been that triggered
Speaker 1: little kid, that beating down little kids. Not I wouldn't
Speaker 1: phasily beat down my parents or anything, but man, I
Speaker 1: was a runt to the litter. I was tiny grown up.
Speaker 1: It was rough in the Jersey Shore. When you're so tiny. Man,
Speaker 1: I wrestled one hundred and one pounds in high schools
Speaker 1: on one on one pattern. He got shuw. Man, it
Speaker 1: was rough. I built myself up in a Jay Glazer.
Speaker 1: Who I am now? Because how were ugh? That was?
Speaker 1: But love that little kid up. And like I said,
Speaker 1: to this day, when I have these little outbursts, I
Speaker 1: realize it's him, the little kid who's screaming out for help,
Speaker 1: feels like he did something wrong, feels like he deserves
Speaker 1: to be punished. To show that little kid compassion, literally
Speaker 1: go to the next room forgive yourself you get triggered,
Speaker 1: and love that little queed up. And recently I haven't
Speaker 1: had an issue. I had an issue in sparring. While
Speaker 1: I was having like he's little, I wasn't myself. And
Speaker 1: I went to Greg Harden and may Rest apple in Peace,
Speaker 1: who was the mental performance coach for Tom Brady and
Speaker 1: Michael Phelps and Charles Woods and these guys. He's like
Speaker 1: Jay that for some reason that scared little kids coming
Speaker 1: out of It's like, Greg, I've been sparn been fighting
Speaker 1: for years, man. I started wrestling in nineteen eighty two
Speaker 1: and boxing at eighty eight, and MMA in two thousand
Speaker 1: and what do you mean? He said, there's something going
Speaker 1: on with that little kid. Well, he's horrifying right now,
Speaker 1: and you had to let him know he's safe and
Speaker 1: comfort him. And started talking to my therapist about it.
Speaker 1: And I got to the bottom of it. And now
Speaker 1: I got his back and make sure I get that
Speaker 1: little kids back. So and those kinds made it sound
Speaker 1: a little foreigner people. That was a lot for me.
Speaker 1: Like that scared little kid. He became the dominant voice
Speaker 1: instead of Jay Glazer Warrior, Jay Glazer being that dominant voice,
Speaker 1: and I couldn't shut him up because you don't want
Speaker 1: to shut that kid up. You got to comfort him.
Speaker 1: So now we're at the holidays, we get triggered. A
Speaker 1: lot of times it's that same kid, and you may
Speaker 1: have a hard time with parents or brothers and sisters,
Speaker 1: or you know, just your hometown wherever it is, but
Speaker 1: you become that scared little kid again. So make sure
Speaker 1: that you practice I got you, I got you. Love
Speaker 1: that kid up, love him or her up, Hug them,
Speaker 1: hold their hands. Another great thing for your game is,
Speaker 1: I'm doing this podcast because there's an awful lot of you, well,
Speaker 1: awful lot of us, and felt this way on holidays.
Speaker 1: So when you think about it way, I'm in the
Speaker 1: majority today, I'm not alone. I'm far from alone. Man,
Speaker 1: I'm not alone at all. There are so many other
Speaker 1: people who are going through it right now. So realizing
Speaker 1: you're probably in the majority, so we're not alone. If
Speaker 1: you get triggered, you're gonna get triggered. It's okay, don't
Speaker 1: beat up on yourself. We're gonna forgive ourselves right then,
Speaker 1: we're gonna do another room. We're gonna love that little
Speaker 1: kid up, comfort that little kid, and also know that
Speaker 1: little kid's most important. Okay, your mom, your dad, your brother,
Speaker 1: your sister, your friends, your hometown, people, whatever, they're not
Speaker 1: most important. That little kid is. I cannot stress this enough.
Speaker 1: That little kid is. You are most important. Give yourself
Speaker 1: some grace, forgive yourself. Realize also, hey, this isn't gonna
Speaker 1: be forever. It's a couple of days here, staying in rituals,
Speaker 1: be of service, whether it's calling others or actually going
Speaker 1: and doing something people who are in need. On Thanksgiving,
Speaker 1: for the holidays here, lean into your teammates. Make sure
Speaker 1: you're there for them and they're there for you. Lean
Speaker 1: into them going into it, Be proactive about it, and
Speaker 1: make sure that you're being good there as well, and
Speaker 1: you're leaning into them also at that point, and make
Speaker 1: sure that no matter what happens on these holidays, you
Speaker 1: do know that you are loved. May not feel it
Speaker 1: where you are, where you are, we all got teammates.
Speaker 1: The teammate of mim My Dog's teammates, Rosie's a teammate,
Speaker 1: even though I didn't have her until you know, four
Speaker 1: years ago. There are teammates everywhere, right, You just got
Speaker 1: to see it and make sure you know you are
Speaker 1: not alone. And you know, finally, like I said, love
Speaker 1: that little kid up, but also love the adult you
Speaker 1: up as well. Man, If you get thrown off kilter
Speaker 1: or give yourself, get yourself back on track. It's never
Speaker 1: too late to start over. Even if you make a
Speaker 1: big mistake and you have an outburst or something along
Speaker 1: those lines. If you have a milktown, just restart again.
Speaker 1: It's okay, start from square one. We're good with that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's no shame in that. The great part is as
Speaker 1: long as you just keep moving forward. If you fall down,
Speaker 1: get back up, brush yourself off. Let's all keep walking
Speaker 1: this walk together. Love y'all, Happy holidays, and I am
Speaker 1: grateful and thankful for all of you. You guys have
Speaker 1: given me my purpose. You guys have all given me
Speaker 1: my why. Never knew that my pain would lead to
Speaker 1: helping others through theirs, So I am so incredibly thankful
Speaker 1: for all of you during these holies. Love y'all,