WEBVTT - Unbreakable Episode 112 - Happy Holidays

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<v Speaker 1>This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental Wealth podcast

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<v Speaker 1>Build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Jay Glazer. It's a special holiday edition. So the

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<v Speaker 1>guests today are you and me. What I want to

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<v Speaker 1>do here is I know the holidays are hard for

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of us, and I always wanted looking back now,

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<v Speaker 1>I wish the guy i'm now could help the guy

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<v Speaker 1>was back then to get through some of these holidays.

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<v Speaker 1>Holidays are difficult for a lot of us. A lot

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<v Speaker 1>of times them when family is hard, a lot of times,

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<v Speaker 1>loneliness is hard. It hits us hard. So what I

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<v Speaker 1>want to try and do today is see where I

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<v Speaker 1>can help, See if I can coach, See if I

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<v Speaker 1>can maybe inspire people to make these holidays a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit easier for all of us. And some of the

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<v Speaker 1>things that have kind of helped me along the way. So,

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<v Speaker 1>first of all, one of the things that we could

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<v Speaker 1>really do for people who and I'll get into people

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<v Speaker 1>who could be triggered in a second, but there's holidays

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<v Speaker 1>where I didn't go anywhere else or I had to work,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know, that kind of that loneliness on those

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<v Speaker 1>holidays gets to Even though I knew I was working,

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<v Speaker 1>it still kind of got to me, and the loneliness

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<v Speaker 1>was really hard. So what I try to do on

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<v Speaker 1>those years is I decide I'm going to go be

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<v Speaker 1>of service and I would go feed the homeless during Thanksgiving.

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<v Speaker 1>I would go to shelters to help during Thanksgiving in

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<v Speaker 1>the past. Also, I've got a military basis and that

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<v Speaker 1>was through Fox. But my point is, if you're of service,

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<v Speaker 1>it really takes away And this is a big goal

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<v Speaker 1>of mine in dealing with the great dealing with your

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<v Speaker 1>depression and anxiety. When we're of service, it cuts through

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<v Speaker 1>that gray and it gets us to see the blue.

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<v Speaker 1>Will no better time for you to be of service

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<v Speaker 1>than the holidays and say it on yourself. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to actually celebrate, celebrate myself by being of

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<v Speaker 1>service helping others. Could be an animal shelter, whatever it is,

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<v Speaker 1>figure it out. When I was really broke in New

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<v Speaker 1>York City, you know, I had a bartend on the

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<v Speaker 1>holidays and there was a Barcoe let's make a dacorate

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<v Speaker 1>at the South Street Seaport. I would then go get

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<v Speaker 1>food and I would go out and hand them to

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<v Speaker 1>the homeless, and I'd be like, I'm gonna have Thanksgiving

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<v Speaker 1>with them. How as that sounds some of the best

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<v Speaker 1>Thanksgivings I've had, people will really appreciate it. And again,

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<v Speaker 1>when you were of service, it's really hard to tell

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<v Speaker 1>you bad things about yourself. So right now on holiday times,

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<v Speaker 1>we tend to beat up on ourselves a lot if

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<v Speaker 1>we are alone or when your service. The roommates in

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<v Speaker 1>your head don't get that voice. The roommates in your

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<v Speaker 1>head don't get to set the narrative. So I can't

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<v Speaker 1>tell you enough how important that is. And by the way,

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<v Speaker 1>even if you do have somewhere to go, figure out

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<v Speaker 1>a place, something some way, you could still be of

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<v Speaker 1>service because you have that in your back pocket. No

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<v Speaker 1>matter what, it really helps us during the holidays. Number two,

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<v Speaker 1>lean into your teammates. You hear me say this all

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<v Speaker 1>the time. And what I mean by this is, even

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<v Speaker 1>before you're gonna go where you're gonna go, call your boys,

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<v Speaker 1>call your home girls, call your sisters, your brothers, call

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<v Speaker 1>your people and say, listen, this may be a hard

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<v Speaker 1>one for me. Are you gonna be available? Can I

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<v Speaker 1>talk to you? If they are. If I need to

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<v Speaker 1>take a step away, can I holler? Because a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of times too somebody will say absolutely and they needed it. Also,

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<v Speaker 1>So lean into your teammates, really lean in. Also, like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm saying, at a time like this, going into it,

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<v Speaker 1>if you know that you're gonna go, let's see family

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<v Speaker 1>and it's gonna trigger you, talk to your crew about it.

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<v Speaker 1>Talk to your crew about it going in, get ideas

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<v Speaker 1>from them. How could I better handle this? How could

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<v Speaker 1>I better not get beat up? How can I prevent

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<v Speaker 1>myself from from going down these rabbit holes? So have

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<v Speaker 1>these talks immediately, Immediately call your crew, Lean into your teammates,

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<v Speaker 1>a look in. When I'm really struggling, I call two

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<v Speaker 1>people used to be for but two people to tell

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<v Speaker 1>them I'm struggling, and then two people to not tell

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<v Speaker 1>him I'm struggling, just to check up on them, because

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<v Speaker 1>that's being of service. So it's another thing, right, if

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<v Speaker 1>you're having difficulties the holidays, just call some of your teammates,

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<v Speaker 1>check up on them, see how they're doing. It's another

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<v Speaker 1>way for you to be of service. But it's keeping

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<v Speaker 1>you connected to your teammates, and that's protecting your own sanity.

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<v Speaker 1>It's building your own fortress about what can keep you

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<v Speaker 1>happy and keep you safe. The whole point is we

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<v Speaker 1>got to keep ourselves safe here. Number three, Stay in

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<v Speaker 1>your rituals. I now I have all these rituals, breathwork, meditation,

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<v Speaker 1>gratitude list, working out. I do a cold plunk that

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<v Speaker 1>Michael Phelps, my brother sent me called Chili Goat little

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<v Speaker 1>plug there for him we do. I say these prayers

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<v Speaker 1>with Rosy and myself. But I have these rituals that

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<v Speaker 1>I now do religiously. I do this whole thing for

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<v Speaker 1>my hipsto my hips up every day kind of help me.

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<v Speaker 1>I do this stretching routine, I do uh again, breath work,

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<v Speaker 1>I do that a couple times a day. Stay in

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<v Speaker 1>your routine so when you go somewhere and you know

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<v Speaker 1>it's going to trigger you again, you want you want

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<v Speaker 1>your rituals and your your schedule to be as structured

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<v Speaker 1>as possible. So don't let yourself get thrown off course,

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<v Speaker 1>thrown off base by being somewhere else. It's such an

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<v Speaker 1>important thing because we tend to go somewhere else and

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<v Speaker 1>you put it on hold. It's your support system. Don't

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<v Speaker 1>get rid of your support system. When you need your

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<v Speaker 1>support the most, make sure, no matter what, you prioritize

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<v Speaker 1>what your rituals have become. Okay. Another thing here, A

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<v Speaker 1>lot of times when we get triggered, okay, we feel

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<v Speaker 1>like that helpless little kid again, that's hard, okay, and

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like that helpless are beaten down little kid.

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<v Speaker 1>So a couple of things. Number One, if you are triggered,

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<v Speaker 1>first and foremost, immediately forgive yourself. Immediately. Just go to

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<v Speaker 1>that next room, Go in that next room, forgive yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>But the other thing I want you to do is

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<v Speaker 1>go in the next room and love that little kid up. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>So I learned this from these monks in Thailand. And

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<v Speaker 1>these monks said to me, Hey, we want you to

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<v Speaker 1>want you to come to do the monk thing. We

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<v Speaker 1>want you to not talk to anybody, and we want

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<v Speaker 1>you to for three days. I'm not talking anybody for

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<v Speaker 1>three days a month. I got ADHD, what are we

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<v Speaker 1>talking about here? And they said, want you to do?

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<v Speaker 1>And what you call yourself growing up was a jay?

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<v Speaker 1>I said that was Jason. Okay, we want you to

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<v Speaker 1>I'll talk to anybody, and we want you to just

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<v Speaker 1>meditate and picture little Jason and hold his hand, put

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<v Speaker 1>your arm around him, tell him you got him, it's

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be okay, And show him some compassion because he

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<v Speaker 1>probably doesn't feel like he's had enough or at any

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<v Speaker 1>Love that little kid up. It changed my life. A

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<v Speaker 1>lot of the issues I've had has been that triggered

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<v Speaker 1>little kid, that beating down little kids. Not I wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>phasily beat down my parents or anything, but man, I

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<v Speaker 1>was a runt to the litter. I was tiny grown up.

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<v Speaker 1>It was rough in the Jersey Shore. When you're so tiny. Man,

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<v Speaker 1>I wrestled one hundred and one pounds in high schools

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<v Speaker 1>on one on one pattern. He got shuw. Man, it

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<v Speaker 1>was rough. I built myself up in a Jay Glazer.

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<v Speaker 1>Who I am now? Because how were ugh? That was?

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<v Speaker 1>But love that little kid up. And like I said,

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<v Speaker 1>to this day, when I have these little outbursts, I

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<v Speaker 1>realize it's him, the little kid who's screaming out for help,

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<v Speaker 1>feels like he did something wrong, feels like he deserves

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<v Speaker 1>to be punished. To show that little kid compassion, literally

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<v Speaker 1>go to the next room forgive yourself you get triggered,

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<v Speaker 1>and love that little queed up. And recently I haven't

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<v Speaker 1>had an issue. I had an issue in sparring. While

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<v Speaker 1>I was having like he's little, I wasn't myself. And

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<v Speaker 1>I went to Greg Harden and may Rest apple in Peace,

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<v Speaker 1>who was the mental performance coach for Tom Brady and

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<v Speaker 1>Michael Phelps and Charles Woods and these guys. He's like

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<v Speaker 1>Jay that for some reason that scared little kids coming

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<v Speaker 1>out of It's like, Greg, I've been sparn been fighting

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<v Speaker 1>for years, man. I started wrestling in nineteen eighty two

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<v Speaker 1>and boxing at eighty eight, and MMA in two thousand

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<v Speaker 1>and what do you mean? He said, there's something going

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<v Speaker 1>on with that little kid. Well, he's horrifying right now,

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<v Speaker 1>and you had to let him know he's safe and

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<v Speaker 1>comfort him. And started talking to my therapist about it.

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<v Speaker 1>And I got to the bottom of it. And now

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<v Speaker 1>I got his back and make sure I get that

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<v Speaker 1>little kids back. So and those kinds made it sound

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<v Speaker 1>a little foreigner people. That was a lot for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Like that scared little kid. He became the dominant voice

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<v Speaker 1>instead of Jay Glazer Warrior, Jay Glazer being that dominant voice,

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<v Speaker 1>and I couldn't shut him up because you don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to shut that kid up. You got to comfort him.

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<v Speaker 1>So now we're at the holidays, we get triggered. A

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<v Speaker 1>lot of times it's that same kid, and you may

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<v Speaker 1>have a hard time with parents or brothers and sisters,

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<v Speaker 1>or you know, just your hometown wherever it is, but

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<v Speaker 1>you become that scared little kid again. So make sure

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<v Speaker 1>that you practice I got you, I got you. Love

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<v Speaker 1>that kid up, love him or her up, Hug them,

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<v Speaker 1>hold their hands. Another great thing for your game is,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm doing this podcast because there's an awful lot of you, well,

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<v Speaker 1>awful lot of us, and felt this way on holidays.

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<v Speaker 1>So when you think about it way, I'm in the

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<v Speaker 1>majority today, I'm not alone. I'm far from alone. Man,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not alone at all. There are so many other

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<v Speaker 1>people who are going through it right now. So realizing

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<v Speaker 1>you're probably in the majority, so we're not alone. If

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<v Speaker 1>you get triggered, you're gonna get triggered. It's okay, don't

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<v Speaker 1>beat up on yourself. We're gonna forgive ourselves right then,

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<v Speaker 1>we're gonna do another room. We're gonna love that little

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<v Speaker 1>kid up, comfort that little kid, and also know that

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<v Speaker 1>little kid's most important. Okay, your mom, your dad, your brother,

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<v Speaker 1>your sister, your friends, your hometown, people, whatever, they're not

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<v Speaker 1>most important. That little kid is. I cannot stress this enough.

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<v Speaker 1>That little kid is. You are most important. Give yourself

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<v Speaker 1>some grace, forgive yourself. Realize also, hey, this isn't gonna

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<v Speaker 1>be forever. It's a couple of days here, staying in rituals,

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<v Speaker 1>be of service, whether it's calling others or actually going

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<v Speaker 1>and doing something people who are in need. On Thanksgiving,

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<v Speaker 1>for the holidays here, lean into your teammates. Make sure

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<v Speaker 1>you're there for them and they're there for you. Lean

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<v Speaker 1>into them going into it, Be proactive about it, and

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<v Speaker 1>make sure that you're being good there as well, and

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<v Speaker 1>you're leaning into them also at that point, and make

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<v Speaker 1>sure that no matter what happens on these holidays, you

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<v Speaker 1>do know that you are loved. May not feel it

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<v Speaker 1>where you are, where you are, we all got teammates.

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<v Speaker 1>The teammate of mim My Dog's teammates, Rosie's a teammate,

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<v Speaker 1>even though I didn't have her until you know, four

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<v Speaker 1>years ago. There are teammates everywhere, right, You just got

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<v Speaker 1>to see it and make sure you know you are

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<v Speaker 1>not alone. And you know, finally, like I said, love

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<v Speaker 1>that little kid up, but also love the adult you

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<v Speaker 1>up as well. Man, If you get thrown off kilter

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<v Speaker 1>or give yourself, get yourself back on track. It's never

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<v Speaker 1>too late to start over. Even if you make a

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<v Speaker 1>big mistake and you have an outburst or something along

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<v Speaker 1>those lines. If you have a milktown, just restart again.

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<v Speaker 1>It's okay, start from square one. We're good with that. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>there's no shame in that. The great part is as

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<v Speaker 1>long as you just keep moving forward. If you fall down,

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<v Speaker 1>get back up, brush yourself off. Let's all keep walking

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<v Speaker 1>this walk together. Love y'all, Happy holidays, and I am

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<v Speaker 1>grateful and thankful for all of you. You guys have

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<v Speaker 1>given me my purpose. You guys have all given me

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<v Speaker 1>my why. Never knew that my pain would lead to

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<v Speaker 1>helping others through theirs, So I am so incredibly thankful

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<v Speaker 1>for all of you during these holies. Love y'all,