1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:07,600
Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental Wealth podcast

2
00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:13,640
Speaker 1: Build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.

3
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,279
Speaker 1: Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.

4
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,959
Speaker 1: I'm Jay Glazer. It's a special holiday edition. So the

5
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:25,639
Speaker 1: guests today are you and me. What I want to

6
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,880
Speaker 1: do here is I know the holidays are hard for

7
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:33,000
Speaker 1: a lot of us, and I always wanted looking back now,

8
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,879
Speaker 1: I wish the guy i'm now could help the guy

9
00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:38,760
Speaker 1: was back then to get through some of these holidays.

10
00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:41,279
Speaker 1: Holidays are difficult for a lot of us. A lot

11
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,240
Speaker 1: of times them when family is hard, a lot of times,

12
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,800
Speaker 1: loneliness is hard. It hits us hard. So what I

13
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:47,760
Speaker 1: want to try and do today is see where I

14
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,920
Speaker 1: can help, See if I can coach, See if I

15
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,840
Speaker 1: can maybe inspire people to make these holidays a little

16
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,600
Speaker 1: bit easier for all of us. And some of the

17
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,080
Speaker 1: things that have kind of helped me along the way. So,

18
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,720
Speaker 1: first of all, one of the things that we could

19
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,720
Speaker 1: really do for people who and I'll get into people

20
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,160
Speaker 1: who could be triggered in a second, but there's holidays

21
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,560
Speaker 1: where I didn't go anywhere else or I had to work,

22
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,800
Speaker 1: and you know, that kind of that loneliness on those

23
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,440
Speaker 1: holidays gets to Even though I knew I was working,

24
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,920
Speaker 1: it still kind of got to me, and the loneliness

25
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:21,920
Speaker 1: was really hard. So what I try to do on

26
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,319
Speaker 1: those years is I decide I'm going to go be

27
00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:29,839
Speaker 1: of service and I would go feed the homeless during Thanksgiving.

28
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:34,360
Speaker 1: I would go to shelters to help during Thanksgiving in

29
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,880
Speaker 1: the past. Also, I've got a military basis and that

30
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,759
Speaker 1: was through Fox. But my point is, if you're of service,

31
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,680
Speaker 1: it really takes away And this is a big goal

32
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,800
Speaker 1: of mine in dealing with the great dealing with your

33
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:48,280
Speaker 1: depression and anxiety. When we're of service, it cuts through

34
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,280
Speaker 1: that gray and it gets us to see the blue.

35
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,240
Speaker 1: Will no better time for you to be of service

36
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,600
Speaker 1: than the holidays and say it on yourself. You know,

37
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:58,400
Speaker 1: I'm going to actually celebrate, celebrate myself by being of

38
00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:01,800
Speaker 1: service helping others. Could be an animal shelter, whatever it is,

39
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,680
Speaker 1: figure it out. When I was really broke in New

40
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,680
Speaker 1: York City, you know, I had a bartend on the

41
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:11,280
Speaker 1: holidays and there was a Barcoe let's make a dacorate

42
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,240
Speaker 1: at the South Street Seaport. I would then go get

43
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,400
Speaker 1: food and I would go out and hand them to

44
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,600
Speaker 1: the homeless, and I'd be like, I'm gonna have Thanksgiving

45
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,880
Speaker 1: with them. How as that sounds some of the best

46
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:26,880
Speaker 1: Thanksgivings I've had, people will really appreciate it. And again,

47
00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:30,280
Speaker 1: when you were of service, it's really hard to tell

48
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:34,919
Speaker 1: you bad things about yourself. So right now on holiday times,

49
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:36,440
Speaker 1: we tend to beat up on ourselves a lot if

50
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:40,639
Speaker 1: we are alone or when your service. The roommates in

51
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,800
Speaker 1: your head don't get that voice. The roommates in your

52
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,960
Speaker 1: head don't get to set the narrative. So I can't

53
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,320
Speaker 1: tell you enough how important that is. And by the way,

54
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,320
Speaker 1: even if you do have somewhere to go, figure out

55
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,280
Speaker 1: a place, something some way, you could still be of

56
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,800
Speaker 1: service because you have that in your back pocket. No

57
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:02,399
Speaker 1: matter what, it really helps us during the holidays. Number two,

58
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,040
Speaker 1: lean into your teammates. You hear me say this all

59
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,720
Speaker 1: the time. And what I mean by this is, even

60
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,880
Speaker 1: before you're gonna go where you're gonna go, call your boys,

61
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,959
Speaker 1: call your home girls, call your sisters, your brothers, call

62
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,800
Speaker 1: your people and say, listen, this may be a hard

63
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,880
Speaker 1: one for me. Are you gonna be available? Can I

64
00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:23,919
Speaker 1: talk to you? If they are. If I need to

65
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,080
Speaker 1: take a step away, can I holler? Because a lot

66
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,919
Speaker 1: of times too somebody will say absolutely and they needed it. Also,

67
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,960
Speaker 1: So lean into your teammates, really lean in. Also, like

68
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,760
Speaker 1: I'm saying, at a time like this, going into it,

69
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,800
Speaker 1: if you know that you're gonna go, let's see family

70
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,080
Speaker 1: and it's gonna trigger you, talk to your crew about it.

71
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,320
Speaker 1: Talk to your crew about it going in, get ideas

72
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,880
Speaker 1: from them. How could I better handle this? How could

73
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:52,000
Speaker 1: I better not get beat up? How can I prevent

74
00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:56,320
Speaker 1: myself from from going down these rabbit holes? So have

75
00:03:56,480 --> 00:04:01,680
Speaker 1: these talks immediately, Immediately call your crew, Lean into your teammates,

76
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,080
Speaker 1: a look in. When I'm really struggling, I call two

77
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,360
Speaker 1: people used to be for but two people to tell

78
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,040
Speaker 1: them I'm struggling, and then two people to not tell

79
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,240
Speaker 1: him I'm struggling, just to check up on them, because

80
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,440
Speaker 1: that's being of service. So it's another thing, right, if

81
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,880
Speaker 1: you're having difficulties the holidays, just call some of your teammates,

82
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,839
Speaker 1: check up on them, see how they're doing. It's another

83
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,040
Speaker 1: way for you to be of service. But it's keeping

84
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:28,240
Speaker 1: you connected to your teammates, and that's protecting your own sanity.

85
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,279
Speaker 1: It's building your own fortress about what can keep you

86
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,080
Speaker 1: happy and keep you safe. The whole point is we

87
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,159
Speaker 1: got to keep ourselves safe here. Number three, Stay in

88
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,920
Speaker 1: your rituals. I now I have all these rituals, breathwork, meditation,

89
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:45,520
Speaker 1: gratitude list, working out. I do a cold plunk that

90
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,600
Speaker 1: Michael Phelps, my brother sent me called Chili Goat little

91
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:52,880
Speaker 1: plug there for him we do. I say these prayers

92
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:56,479
Speaker 1: with Rosy and myself. But I have these rituals that

93
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,320
Speaker 1: I now do religiously. I do this whole thing for

94
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,960
Speaker 1: my hipsto my hips up every day kind of help me.

95
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:06,559
Speaker 1: I do this stretching routine, I do uh again, breath work,

96
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,599
Speaker 1: I do that a couple times a day. Stay in

97
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,880
Speaker 1: your routine so when you go somewhere and you know

98
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,000
Speaker 1: it's going to trigger you again, you want you want

99
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,800
Speaker 1: your rituals and your your schedule to be as structured

100
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:21,000
Speaker 1: as possible. So don't let yourself get thrown off course,

101
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:26,880
Speaker 1: thrown off base by being somewhere else. It's such an

102
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:30,240
Speaker 1: important thing because we tend to go somewhere else and

103
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:34,279
Speaker 1: you put it on hold. It's your support system. Don't

104
00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:36,400
Speaker 1: get rid of your support system. When you need your

105
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:41,159
Speaker 1: support the most, make sure, no matter what, you prioritize

106
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:46,760
Speaker 1: what your rituals have become. Okay. Another thing here, A

107
00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:49,839
Speaker 1: lot of times when we get triggered, okay, we feel

108
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:55,279
Speaker 1: like that helpless little kid again, that's hard, okay, and

109
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,440
Speaker 1: I feel like that helpless are beaten down little kid.

110
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,440
Speaker 1: So a couple of things. Number One, if you are triggered,

111
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:08,960
Speaker 1: first and foremost, immediately forgive yourself. Immediately. Just go to

112
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,719
Speaker 1: that next room, Go in that next room, forgive yourself.

113
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,280
Speaker 1: But the other thing I want you to do is

114
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:19,200
Speaker 1: go in the next room and love that little kid up. Okay.

115
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:24,960
Speaker 1: So I learned this from these monks in Thailand. And

116
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,520
Speaker 1: these monks said to me, Hey, we want you to

117
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:28,640
Speaker 1: want you to come to do the monk thing. We

118
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,000
Speaker 1: want you to not talk to anybody, and we want

119
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,200
Speaker 1: you to for three days. I'm not talking anybody for

120
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,400
Speaker 1: three days a month. I got ADHD, what are we

121
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,720
Speaker 1: talking about here? And they said, want you to do?

122
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,159
Speaker 1: And what you call yourself growing up was a jay?

123
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,440
Speaker 1: I said that was Jason. Okay, we want you to

124
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:47,440
Speaker 1: I'll talk to anybody, and we want you to just

125
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:53,279
Speaker 1: meditate and picture little Jason and hold his hand, put

126
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:56,360
Speaker 1: your arm around him, tell him you got him, it's

127
00:06:56,400 --> 00:07:00,520
Speaker 1: gonna be okay, And show him some compassion because he

128
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,040
Speaker 1: probably doesn't feel like he's had enough or at any

129
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,680
Speaker 1: Love that little kid up. It changed my life. A

130
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,720
Speaker 1: lot of the issues I've had has been that triggered

131
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:14,400
Speaker 1: little kid, that beating down little kids. Not I wouldn't

132
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,080
Speaker 1: phasily beat down my parents or anything, but man, I

133
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,840
Speaker 1: was a runt to the litter. I was tiny grown up.

134
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:22,240
Speaker 1: It was rough in the Jersey Shore. When you're so tiny. Man,

135
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,679
Speaker 1: I wrestled one hundred and one pounds in high schools

136
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,680
Speaker 1: on one on one pattern. He got shuw. Man, it

137
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,520
Speaker 1: was rough. I built myself up in a Jay Glazer.

138
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,680
Speaker 1: Who I am now? Because how were ugh? That was?

139
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:37,080
Speaker 1: But love that little kid up. And like I said,

140
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,000
Speaker 1: to this day, when I have these little outbursts, I

141
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,520
Speaker 1: realize it's him, the little kid who's screaming out for help,

142
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,560
Speaker 1: feels like he did something wrong, feels like he deserves

143
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:51,160
Speaker 1: to be punished. To show that little kid compassion, literally

144
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,160
Speaker 1: go to the next room forgive yourself you get triggered,

145
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,000
Speaker 1: and love that little queed up. And recently I haven't

146
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,160
Speaker 1: had an issue. I had an issue in sparring. While

147
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,760
Speaker 1: I was having like he's little, I wasn't myself. And

148
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 1: I went to Greg Harden and may Rest apple in Peace,

149
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:09,800
Speaker 1: who was the mental performance coach for Tom Brady and

150
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,680
Speaker 1: Michael Phelps and Charles Woods and these guys. He's like

151
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,920
Speaker 1: Jay that for some reason that scared little kids coming

152
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,280
Speaker 1: out of It's like, Greg, I've been sparn been fighting

153
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,480
Speaker 1: for years, man. I started wrestling in nineteen eighty two

154
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,720
Speaker 1: and boxing at eighty eight, and MMA in two thousand

155
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,080
Speaker 1: and what do you mean? He said, there's something going

156
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,160
Speaker 1: on with that little kid. Well, he's horrifying right now,

157
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,480
Speaker 1: and you had to let him know he's safe and

158
00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:36,320
Speaker 1: comfort him. And started talking to my therapist about it.

159
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,000
Speaker 1: And I got to the bottom of it. And now

160
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,560
Speaker 1: I got his back and make sure I get that

161
00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:44,560
Speaker 1: little kids back. So and those kinds made it sound

162
00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:47,200
Speaker 1: a little foreigner people. That was a lot for me.

163
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:51,280
Speaker 1: Like that scared little kid. He became the dominant voice

164
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,400
Speaker 1: instead of Jay Glazer Warrior, Jay Glazer being that dominant voice,

165
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,120
Speaker 1: and I couldn't shut him up because you don't want

166
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,160
Speaker 1: to shut that kid up. You got to comfort him.

167
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,000
Speaker 1: So now we're at the holidays, we get triggered. A

168
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:07,079
Speaker 1: lot of times it's that same kid, and you may

169
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,200
Speaker 1: have a hard time with parents or brothers and sisters,

170
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,800
Speaker 1: or you know, just your hometown wherever it is, but

171
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,520
Speaker 1: you become that scared little kid again. So make sure

172
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:20,440
Speaker 1: that you practice I got you, I got you. Love

173
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:23,440
Speaker 1: that kid up, love him or her up, Hug them,

174
00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:27,800
Speaker 1: hold their hands. Another great thing for your game is,

175
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:33,079
Speaker 1: I'm doing this podcast because there's an awful lot of you, well,

176
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,600
Speaker 1: awful lot of us, and felt this way on holidays.

177
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,920
Speaker 1: So when you think about it way, I'm in the

178
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:42,160
Speaker 1: majority today, I'm not alone. I'm far from alone. Man,

179
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,960
Speaker 1: I'm not alone at all. There are so many other

180
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,480
Speaker 1: people who are going through it right now. So realizing

181
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:51,160
Speaker 1: you're probably in the majority, so we're not alone. If

182
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,120
Speaker 1: you get triggered, you're gonna get triggered. It's okay, don't

183
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,520
Speaker 1: beat up on yourself. We're gonna forgive ourselves right then,

184
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,120
Speaker 1: we're gonna do another room. We're gonna love that little

185
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:01,120
Speaker 1: kid up, comfort that little kid, and also know that

186
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:05,079
Speaker 1: little kid's most important. Okay, your mom, your dad, your brother,

187
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,800
Speaker 1: your sister, your friends, your hometown, people, whatever, they're not

188
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:11,680
Speaker 1: most important. That little kid is. I cannot stress this enough.

189
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:16,040
Speaker 1: That little kid is. You are most important. Give yourself

190
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:20,080
Speaker 1: some grace, forgive yourself. Realize also, hey, this isn't gonna

191
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:23,400
Speaker 1: be forever. It's a couple of days here, staying in rituals,

192
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,640
Speaker 1: be of service, whether it's calling others or actually going

193
00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:31,880
Speaker 1: and doing something people who are in need. On Thanksgiving,

194
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:36,680
Speaker 1: for the holidays here, lean into your teammates. Make sure

195
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,600
Speaker 1: you're there for them and they're there for you. Lean

196
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:41,400
Speaker 1: into them going into it, Be proactive about it, and

197
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,920
Speaker 1: make sure that you're being good there as well, and

198
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:49,679
Speaker 1: you're leaning into them also at that point, and make

199
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:53,400
Speaker 1: sure that no matter what happens on these holidays, you

200
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,079
Speaker 1: do know that you are loved. May not feel it

201
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,320
Speaker 1: where you are, where you are, we all got teammates.

202
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,840
Speaker 1: The teammate of mim My Dog's teammates, Rosie's a teammate,

203
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,920
Speaker 1: even though I didn't have her until you know, four

204
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,360
Speaker 1: years ago. There are teammates everywhere, right, You just got

205
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,319
Speaker 1: to see it and make sure you know you are

206
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:16,319
Speaker 1: not alone. And you know, finally, like I said, love

207
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,280
Speaker 1: that little kid up, but also love the adult you

208
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,959
Speaker 1: up as well. Man, If you get thrown off kilter

209
00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,880
Speaker 1: or give yourself, get yourself back on track. It's never

210
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,480
Speaker 1: too late to start over. Even if you make a

211
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,040
Speaker 1: big mistake and you have an outburst or something along

212
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:33,320
Speaker 1: those lines. If you have a milktown, just restart again.

213
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:37,360
Speaker 1: It's okay, start from square one. We're good with that. Yeah,

214
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,360
Speaker 1: there's no shame in that. The great part is as

215
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,440
Speaker 1: long as you just keep moving forward. If you fall down,

216
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:46,600
Speaker 1: get back up, brush yourself off. Let's all keep walking

217
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:51,080
Speaker 1: this walk together. Love y'all, Happy holidays, and I am

218
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,920
Speaker 1: grateful and thankful for all of you. You guys have

219
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,920
Speaker 1: given me my purpose. You guys have all given me

220
00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:00,760
Speaker 1: my why. Never knew that my pain would lead to

221
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:04,760
Speaker 1: helping others through theirs, So I am so incredibly thankful

222
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,760
Speaker 1: for all of you during these holies. Love y'all,