1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club. Morning. 2 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 2: Everybody is the j n V. Jess Hilaris Charlamage the guy. 3 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,319 Speaker 2: We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest 4 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 2: with us this morning. Yes, indeed, Sabrina Greenley. She has 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,239 Speaker 2: a new book, Grant Me Vision, A Journey of family, 6 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 2: faith and forgiveness. And it's out right now. 7 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 3: Good morning, good morning, good morning. Thank you for having me. 8 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: How are you good? 9 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 3: I feel good. I feel amazing. 10 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 1: There you go. Now. 11 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 4: You are the the mother of DeAndre Hopkins and man A. 12 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 4: What a story you have with a journey. What a 13 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 4: life you have lived and still living. 14 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, I'm still here now. 15 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 4: For those who may not know, you were blind, but 16 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 4: you weren't born blind. You actually became blind after an 17 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 4: acid attack in two thousand and two. 18 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:53,600 Speaker 5: Yes, I was brutally assaulted in two thousand and two 19 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 5: by a young lady that, unbeknownst to me, we were 20 00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:00,280 Speaker 5: dating the same guy. And I was called to a 21 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 5: place by him one day and I went out there 22 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 5: looking for my car, and she came out called my name, 23 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 5: screamed my name Sabrina, and she threw a concoction of 24 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 5: bleach and mixed with red devil eyes. She threw it 25 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 5: on me. Seventeen percent of my body was burned that day. 26 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 5: I fell to my knees and he actually took me 27 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 5: to the gas station about three minutes away, but eventually 28 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:30,760 Speaker 5: left me there to die. What Yeah, watch that was 29 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 5: I think that was the nearest, the closest thing that 30 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 5: he could find, but it was. It was just such 31 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 5: a terrifying moment for me. And if it had not 32 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 5: been for the gas attendant to, you know, call down 33 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 5: one one and get me help, I probably would have 34 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:46,959 Speaker 5: died that day. 35 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 2: Jesus Lord, there's a man that you were dating, that 36 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 2: you thought loved you, liked you, and cared about you, 37 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 2: and just left you to die. 38 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, DJMB. He literally was in my life for 39 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 5: three and a half months. So of course I didn't 40 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 5: know him per se, and we really didn't know each other. 41 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 5: But you couldn't tell me that that wasn't my man. 42 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:11,240 Speaker 5: And but you know he was somebody else's man too. 43 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 2: And you never had words with the woman that nothing. 44 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 2: You had no clue, no idea. 45 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 5: Had no idea she existed. I knew there was some 46 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:19,840 Speaker 5: people existed, of course, you know they were red flags. 47 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:21,639 Speaker 5: But I was in a place where I didn't know 48 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 5: my worth, I didn't know who I was, and so 49 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 5: I overlooked a lot of things. 50 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,639 Speaker 3: There were a lot of red flags, I mean, the 51 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 3: lives of the manipulation. 52 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 5: It was super present in the relationship earlier on just 53 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,639 Speaker 5: you know, saying he would be somewhere and he you know, 54 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,079 Speaker 5: he wasn't there when I got there. 55 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,679 Speaker 3: Oh well let me you know, well I'm here. 56 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,800 Speaker 5: And it was like, I remember one day, I was 57 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,519 Speaker 5: like I went to three different places searching for this man. 58 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 5: And I look back now and I'm like, God, you know, 59 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:50,839 Speaker 5: how how low was I to connect with somebody that 60 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,440 Speaker 5: you know eventually would have a saying almost you know, 61 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 5: taking my life. 62 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,359 Speaker 4: The book is called Grant Me Vision. So in that 63 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 4: moment of finding out you were blind, what was going 64 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 4: through your head. 65 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 3: That moment that? 66 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,639 Speaker 5: Of course, I was in a coma for a month, 67 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 5: and when I came out of the coma, I was 68 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 5: on a lot of medicines. I remember them telling me 69 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 5: that I would be on fifty different medicines for the 70 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,519 Speaker 5: rest of my life. Thank got them, not on any 71 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 5: of them now, but just being blind and coming home 72 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 5: to my. 73 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 3: Four children, was really really tough. 74 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 5: So even after I got the coma, I was addicted 75 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 5: to morphine, I was in therapy. It was a lot 76 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 5: of things that propelled me to get to the place 77 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 5: I am now, But just being blind. Think about that 78 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 5: coming home and you know, at thirty one years old, 79 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 5: I left the house twelve o'clock noonday, beautiful day, going 80 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 5: to find my car. And then a month later I 81 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 5: come back to the same house, the same children, and 82 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 5: you know, I had allowed all these men to kind 83 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 5: of come into our lives in and out, and here 84 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 5: it is. I'm just sitting there and it's just me 85 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 5: and them. Now what do we do? Putting the pieces 86 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 5: back together? And totally blind. So it was a lot 87 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 5: of healing that had to take place, and it was scary, 88 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 5: like I'm not gonna lie. It was terrifying because you 89 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 5: are blind and you can't feed your children. You don't know, 90 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 5: you know, It's like I was stepping into unforeseen circumstances 91 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,919 Speaker 5: that we had never been in, and it was really tough. 92 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 5: And then not only that, but just to sit there, 93 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 5: so depression set in, anxiety. I was suicidal for about 94 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,160 Speaker 5: three and a half years. I actually knew exactly how 95 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,359 Speaker 5: I wanted to take my life. I had played this 96 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,279 Speaker 5: out in my head many many times. 97 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:40,839 Speaker 2: How old were your kids at the time. 98 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 5: My oldest was fourteen, Keisha was fourteen, Marcus was thirteen, 99 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 5: DeAndre was ten, and my baby was four years old. 100 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 5: So I left my baby girl in at the door 101 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 5: of that day, screaming and kicking for me. She wanted 102 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,240 Speaker 5: her mom, and I was like, go in the house, I'll. 103 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,960 Speaker 3: Be right back. I didn't come back over a month. 104 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 2: Who helped you during that time, because it's you know, 105 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 2: when you have family members and friends, it's easy to 106 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 2: help somebody for a week or two, but you needed 107 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 2: helpful a lot longer. So who was in your corner 108 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 2: during that time? 109 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 5: I would say there was different people. My mother was there, 110 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 5: my father was there, people was coming in and out. 111 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 5: It was just not one person. You know how it is. 112 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,600 Speaker 5: People bring the chicken and you know, and then when 113 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:26,920 Speaker 5: the smoke clears, there's. 114 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 3: No chicken and nothing. 115 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 5: So there were a lot of days that my children 116 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 5: and I were were just there by ourselves and had 117 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:32,919 Speaker 5: to fend for ourselves. 118 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 3: To be honest. 119 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:35,040 Speaker 2: They had to grow fast. 120 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:36,839 Speaker 5: Had to grow up really really fast. See their mother 121 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:43,919 Speaker 5: in the back room, super depressed, face swol I, you know, blind, and. 122 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 3: They had to grow really fast. 123 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:49,080 Speaker 5: They had to figure out like how to get to activities. 124 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:53,039 Speaker 5: They had to sometimes feed themselves. And as a mother, 125 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 5: that is the most depressing thing when you cannot do 126 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 5: for your children. 127 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 4: Tough physically, you know you went through something, but you 128 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 4: keep talking about the mental. 129 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:03,919 Speaker 1: Aspect of it. 130 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 4: How did you get out of that? Because like, how 131 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 4: did you get out of that mental space? 132 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:15,920 Speaker 5: There was one day where I was fully in suicidal mode. 133 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 5: I knew exactly how I wanted to do it, and 134 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:22,000 Speaker 5: I acted it out. So there was the road was 135 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 5: about four houses up. I knew that if I made 136 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,480 Speaker 5: it to this particular mailbox and I made it to 137 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 5: another one, I could count the mailboxes. So by the 138 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 5: time I got to the fourth mailbox, I wanted to 139 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,039 Speaker 5: throw myself out in the road. When I heard a 140 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 5: car and DeAndre he just happened to wake up that 141 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 5: morning and he followed me. 142 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 3: I didn't know he was following me. He just put 143 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,039 Speaker 3: his hands on my shoulder. 144 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,839 Speaker 5: As I was getting ready to literally go out in 145 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 5: front of this car or I thought, you know, if 146 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,719 Speaker 5: I could hear the car, I could throw my body 147 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 5: out there and it just all be over. The pain 148 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 5: was excruciating, and we never talked about it for like 149 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 5: ten years later. In he put his hand on my shoulder. 150 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:03,479 Speaker 5: He walked me back to the house. I went in 151 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 5: my bedroom, he went in his. We just shut the 152 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,919 Speaker 5: door and it was one of those things where it 153 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 5: was just so strong that we didn't really want to 154 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 5: talk about it because it was hurtful. He knew what 155 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 5: I was going to do, and I think that was 156 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 5: the turning point for me. I was like, how dare 157 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 5: I leave these children? Because like the mental aspect was 158 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 5: just so hard, like the like just sitting there day 159 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 5: after day having people wait on you. I had people 160 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 5: to I had to people had to give me a bath, 161 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 5: people had to come in and feed me, and so 162 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 5: I was just tired of it all. 163 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 3: That was my turning point mentally. 164 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 5: Was like I got to get it together because if 165 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,280 Speaker 5: not the I'm going to leave these children. And how 166 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 5: dare I, you know, leave here and leave them here 167 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 5: because if people are not coming in to help us, now, 168 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,120 Speaker 5: just imagine what it's going to be like without me, 169 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 5: Lord have mercy. 170 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 4: How did the conversations go with the kids, Like when 171 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 4: you first came home, did you explain to them what happened? 172 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 4: Were you embarrassed to tell them what happened? Did you 173 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 4: wait till they got older? 174 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 3: So embarrassed? The shame? 175 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 5: When you live with shame, it can literally manifest and 176 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 5: grow as big as you allow it. And so I 177 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 5: didn't talk to them at first. It was maybe about 178 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:19,360 Speaker 5: four years three or four years later when I decided 179 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 5: to just get up and say, you know what, I 180 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 5: need to repair this family. I did this, and I 181 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 5: need to get up and just start the process. I 182 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 5: didn't know what that looked like, so I began to 183 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 5: start implementing curfews. I began to start screaming, shouting. Now 184 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 5: the woman you see, now that's all calm. I wasn't 185 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 5: like that then. I was full of anger and bitterness, 186 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,200 Speaker 5: and so I was, you know, portraying that on too 187 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 5: my children. And I was cussing and fussing and you know, 188 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 5: doing the things like that. But I needed to instill 189 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 5: fear in them because I felt like if I didn't 190 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,439 Speaker 5: do it, somebody was gonna do it. 191 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 3: I didn't want to lose them to the streets. 192 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 5: I didn't want to lose them to you know, society, 193 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 5: and I was like, let me do something. And so 194 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 5: I began to start sending them down, attempting to repair 195 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 5: my family. And I called them in the room I 196 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 5: have in my memoir, I call it the get Right Room. Well, 197 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,679 Speaker 5: I will take them in, bring them in one by 198 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 5: one and just talk to them. So they began to 199 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 5: tell me later, they was like, you know, I we'll 200 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 5: do anything. 201 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,439 Speaker 3: Keep from going in there, sitting there talking. 202 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,360 Speaker 5: To Mama for two hours, because it's like this woman 203 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 5: is crazy, she don't care, she ain't got nothing else 204 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 5: to do, but you know, but pour into us. And 205 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 5: so it began that I couldn't go out. I wasn't. 206 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 5: I wasn't in a place where I wanted to go 207 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 5: out and people see my face or you know, these 208 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 5: small town you got the rumors and so but I 209 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,679 Speaker 5: was like, what I can control is my house. You 210 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 5: will be in this house at a certain time. And 211 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,679 Speaker 5: I just remember waking up one day and the boys 212 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,679 Speaker 5: had did something of Marcus and Deandres. 213 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 3: So I took all day. 214 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:55,680 Speaker 5: It took me hours, but I myself like hur and 215 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 5: all bandages and everything. I pull this big TV out 216 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 5: of the room. I took they stereo I took the 217 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 5: door off the hinges. I was like doing anything I 218 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,960 Speaker 5: could to show them that, you know, when you do something, 219 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,200 Speaker 5: there's consequences. I began to do that and it just 220 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 5: began to me sending them down, eventually all of them. 221 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,880 Speaker 5: And I think what I remember the most Charlemagne is 222 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:22,679 Speaker 5: that I would like, hey, I'm sorry. I need you 223 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:26,360 Speaker 5: to tell me what you think, what in your mind 224 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 5: you think I did, because I want to sit here 225 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:30,560 Speaker 5: and I want to hold myself accountable in front of 226 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,040 Speaker 5: each one of you, and I want to say, you know, 227 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 5: I'm sorry. Now I may do something to hurt you again, 228 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:41,439 Speaker 5: but it won't it won't be intentional. And this day forward, 229 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 5: I'm going to set, you know, set in my mind 230 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,920 Speaker 5: to be a better mother because I have not been. 231 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:49,959 Speaker 3: And they needed to hear that. And so, you know, 232 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 3: at first they were like. 233 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:54,720 Speaker 5: No, you know, mama, you mama, you good. I was like, no, like, 234 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 5: we need to repair. In order to repair, we have 235 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 5: to start from the bottom up and begin the heal. 236 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 5: And I think it made a better person than me. 237 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 5: I began to start healing when I knew that my 238 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 5: children were okay, and just sitting them down and holding 239 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:11,719 Speaker 5: at your other accountable. 240 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,719 Speaker 3: So you know, at first they was like, oh my, 241 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 3: this is some white people do we We're not doing this. 242 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 3: But I kept doing it. I kept doing it. 243 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 5: I didn't want to lose them, and I wanted my 244 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 5: voice to be the voice that made a difference in 245 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 5: their lives. And I would tell them, I said, you're 246 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:30,960 Speaker 5: going to continue your activities. And furthermore, what we're going 247 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,320 Speaker 5: to do is you will not This will not be 248 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 5: an excuse for you not making it was. I was 249 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 5: really really strong about that. 250 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:39,959 Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting. 251 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 4: I keep thinking about, you know, DeAndre stopping you when 252 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 4: you knew you wanted to complete suicide. 253 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 1: Like was that because he used to hear you talk 254 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 1: about it. 255 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,600 Speaker 4: I was just a divine moment where God just put 256 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 4: something on him to stop you, Like what made him 257 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 4: do that? 258 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 5: Recently, we were in an interview and he said that 259 00:11:59,160 --> 00:11:59,959 Speaker 5: he just woke up. 260 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,840 Speaker 3: He said it was nothing but God that woke him up. 261 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:03,959 Speaker 3: He went in my room. 262 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 5: I wasn't there, and he said, I'm never not in 263 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 5: my room. He's like, something's not right. He went in 264 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 5: the kitchen and then he turned to the left and 265 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 5: the screen door. 266 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:13,959 Speaker 3: The door was open. 267 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 5: He said, he said, Mama's always in this room, and 268 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 5: so it was nothing but God. 269 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 2: I gotta ask a question right reading the reading the 270 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:26,200 Speaker 2: title of the book, last thing is forgiveness? Do you 271 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,080 Speaker 2: forgive the individuals that were involved with taking your sight? 272 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,959 Speaker 5: DJ env I had no other choice but to forgive. 273 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 5: I have totally forgiven. I walk in forgiveness. I mean, 274 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,120 Speaker 5: there's just no way that I could be this person 275 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 5: had I not forgiven. Now, when we talk about forgiveness, 276 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,559 Speaker 5: you talk about the process of forgiveness. 277 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 3: Right, I'm sitting there and I'm. 278 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 5: Mad, I'm pissed off, I'm angry, and how dare they 279 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 5: try to take my life knowing I had. 280 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 3: These babies to feed. 281 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 5: But what I did was I began to humanize her 282 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:03,080 Speaker 5: and look at her as somebody that you like, there's 283 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 5: no way you could do that if you're not broken 284 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 5: and like something's wrong. And so what I did was 285 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 5: I began to humanize her. I began to say her name, 286 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 5: eventually out loud. I began to pray for her. Now 287 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 5: that was really hard. And I have this in the 288 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:21,680 Speaker 5: memoir where I say, you know at first, Like the 289 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 5: first thing I said was something like, you know, I'm 290 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,840 Speaker 5: just gonna pray for her. I pray that God, I 291 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:31,040 Speaker 5: pray that you bless her and everything that she touches 292 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,320 Speaker 5: turns to gold. That was all I could mutter right 293 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,880 Speaker 5: at first, and then my prayer got stronger. I began 294 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,680 Speaker 5: to just pray for her. I knew that day in 295 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 5: the courtroom that her son was the same age as 296 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,280 Speaker 5: my son. So you think about she got a twenty 297 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,400 Speaker 5: year prison sentence, She's done eighteen years of that. She's 298 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,320 Speaker 5: you know, she's been out for a couple of years now. 299 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 5: And just to answer your question, I knew that I 300 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 5: had to continue that process of forgiving her. 301 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:58,199 Speaker 3: I didn't know what that looked like. 302 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,600 Speaker 5: Took some time, but I thank God that I did 303 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 5: do that because I have forgiven him and her and 304 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 5: whatever involvement that he may or may not had in 305 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 5: that attack. I had to put them together and completely 306 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:12,719 Speaker 5: forgive him and her. 307 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 2: Did he get jail time as well? 308 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 5: So he did eventually get a year jail time and 309 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 5: one year probation, and it wasn't it had nothing to 310 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 5: do with that. There was a three day jury trial 311 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:29,600 Speaker 5: and she was convicted of twenty years, but he continued 312 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:32,800 Speaker 5: to stalk me and harass me, and he got a 313 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 5: year prison center, a year jail time in a year 314 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,120 Speaker 5: of probation for continue to harass and stalk me a 315 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 5: year later. 316 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 2: So he didn't even though he drove you to the 317 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 2: gas station and left you for dead, there was no crime. 318 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 2: He didn't get He didn't get convicted of anything of that. 319 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 3: It was one of those things where we had to 320 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 3: pick our poison. 321 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:56,160 Speaker 5: Gotcha, And so of course all of the animosity and 322 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,240 Speaker 5: frustration leaned towards her because she did the heinous act, 323 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 5: and so we had to do that. He actually came 324 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 5: in every day of the trial and testified against her, 325 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 5: but then turned around and started harassing me, saying that 326 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 5: you took my girlfriend, you took the person I love. 327 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 5: I love both of y'all. 328 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 3: Yes, I can't make this up. 329 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, I cannot, right, And so he So the 330 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 5: last straw for that situation was he literally called me 331 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 5: while I had three police officers standing in my home, 332 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,280 Speaker 5: and they said, you know, they called his name, and 333 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,880 Speaker 5: they said, repeat yourself. You know you have three police 334 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 5: officers stand here. His exact words, I don't care, I'm 335 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,400 Speaker 5: gonna kill the bitch. 336 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 1: Wow. 337 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 5: And they went and picked him up and that's when 338 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,280 Speaker 5: he served a year. A lot of people don't know that. 339 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,720 Speaker 2: You know, it's crazy now, you know, you forget one 340 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 2: more questions. You said you forgave her, and you said 341 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 2: you were able to say her name and pray for her. 342 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,760 Speaker 2: Has she reached out since then to apologize or have 343 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 2: you had a conversation or anything like that? 344 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 5: In the courtroom that day, she had the choice to 345 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 5: speak to me, and she chose not to speak to me. 346 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,040 Speaker 5: And in the three years that she has been out, 347 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 5: she chose to go to a blogger by the name 348 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 5: of Tasha Ka and speak out against me. Wow, Yeah, 349 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,680 Speaker 5: in what way saying that it didn't happen the way 350 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 5: that that that the court records, the receipts and everything. 351 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,000 Speaker 3: She's saying it didn't happen that way. I was. I 352 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 3: was stalking her. 353 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 5: I was jealous of her and the relationship with him, 354 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,760 Speaker 5: a lot of things that she spoke out about. Yeah, 355 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 5: but I chose not to listen to it. Of course, 356 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 5: I'm very careful about what enters, you know, into my mind. 357 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,920 Speaker 5: And I'm like, you know, I'm in a place now 358 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,520 Speaker 5: where you know, I woke up that day when I 359 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 5: found out she was getting out of prison, and I said, okay, 360 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,000 Speaker 5: I've been talking to talk. Now it's time to walk 361 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:01,960 Speaker 5: the walk, you know, And so I just refuse to 362 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 5: allow anything negative to come into my mindset. However, it 363 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 5: was kind of hurtful because it's like art, Yeah, yeah, 364 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:16,000 Speaker 5: you're still stuck clearly, and you know, if you did 365 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 5: eighteen years, at some point, you know, reality says sin 366 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,920 Speaker 5: to where I need to take accountability for my actions, 367 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,760 Speaker 5: and that still hasn't happened. But she's not my assignment, 368 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,679 Speaker 5: and so I chose not to entertain it. 369 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 4: You have a chapter in the book called Justice, Chapter seventeen, 370 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,840 Speaker 4: and you know, you talk about what happened as far 371 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:40,160 Speaker 4: as him getting sentenced, But does hurtting sentences the twenty 372 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,639 Speaker 4: years did that feel like justice to you? 373 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 5: No? 374 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,520 Speaker 3: Not at all? Okay, not at all. 375 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,600 Speaker 1: What would you have wanted to happen? What would be 376 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:47,199 Speaker 1: justice to you? 377 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,760 Speaker 5: I had to come to grips with the twenty year 378 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:55,120 Speaker 5: prison sentence, But of course attempted murder should have been 379 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,920 Speaker 5: the charge instead of assaulting Boddy with intent to kill, 380 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:04,640 Speaker 5: And yeah, that would have been That would have been better. However, 381 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 5: I feel like I feel like even though all of 382 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:14,200 Speaker 5: that happened. I'm just not mad at it anymore, because 383 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,919 Speaker 5: eighteen years is a long time to be without your child. 384 00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 5: I was with my children every single day, right, I 385 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,000 Speaker 5: got a chance to instill some values in them that 386 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,680 Speaker 5: they still have to this day. I eventually got all 387 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,840 Speaker 5: four of my children into college. So when I look 388 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 5: back twenty years and you did eighteen years compared to 389 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,679 Speaker 5: me being with my children, I'm not mad at the 390 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 5: sentence now. I was angry then, but I'm not mad 391 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 5: at it now. 392 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 1: Did he give you any peace? All closure? 393 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:41,920 Speaker 2: Oh gosh? 394 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:42,280 Speaker 1: Yes. 395 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 5: The three day trial was about a year after the attack, 396 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,119 Speaker 5: and so I had probably not left my room for 397 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 5: a whole year. And I got up and I went 398 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:56,200 Speaker 5: to the three day trial. After that, you know, I 399 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 5: was waiting on the light switch to come on, to 400 00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 5: be like, okay, you know I got justice. 401 00:18:59,640 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 1: Is good. 402 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,920 Speaker 5: It didn't really happen like that. I was still severely depressed, 403 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 5: but eventually it sunk in that this woman is in 404 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 5: prison and there is some justice, and justice did prevail. 405 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:14,560 Speaker 2: Now, you mentioned your assignment. You said that wasn't your assignment. 406 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 2: What do you feel your assignment is my assignment? 407 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 5: I know without a doubt is to let people know 408 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:29,320 Speaker 5: everything that I went through and everything that they go through, 409 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,840 Speaker 5: there is light on the other side. I wake up 410 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:36,480 Speaker 5: now and I'm more happy than ever because before you know, 411 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,400 Speaker 5: the Sabrina Greenley was you know, oh you're cute, you know, 412 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,920 Speaker 5: you light skin, you pretty or whatever, but. 413 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,119 Speaker 3: My insides was screaming for help. 414 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,479 Speaker 5: And I really want people to know that when you 415 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,000 Speaker 5: take the time to put the work in to get 416 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:59,160 Speaker 5: the mental help, canceling and the therapy, and no matter what, 417 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 5: it is very important that you understand your worth and 418 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 5: who you are. And so when you began to do that, 419 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 5: oh god, it's amazing on the other side. So all 420 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,879 Speaker 5: that pain and all that misery that people are still 421 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 5: you know, stuck in, when you can just make up 422 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,960 Speaker 5: your mind and make the choice to say, you know what, 423 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,919 Speaker 5: I don't want to be here anymore, whether you're an 424 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:22,440 Speaker 5: abusive relationship or it's just family members, because people or 425 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,960 Speaker 5: people can people be peopling. 426 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 3: But when you. 427 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:32,919 Speaker 5: And what when I tell you, Charlie, you don't understand 428 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 5: and it never stops right. So it takes it takes 429 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,879 Speaker 5: a bigger person to say, you know what, let me 430 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,359 Speaker 5: handle this differently. Let me have the tools and the 431 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,160 Speaker 5: takeaways like I put in grant me vision. I talk 432 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,679 Speaker 5: about things, but at the end of every chapter, I'm like, 433 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,199 Speaker 5: I had to write this memoir with the takeaways of 434 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 5: people understanding, like how I began to forgive. You can 435 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,360 Speaker 5: just say I don't want to be one of people 436 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,359 Speaker 5: to say you better forgive. 437 00:20:59,000 --> 00:20:59,919 Speaker 3: No, let me tell you what. 438 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,920 Speaker 5: I've done for this Sabrianda Greenley today, to be out 439 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:09,200 Speaker 5: here talking to women and ushering them into their process 440 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 5: of forgiveness and being that woman to say, you know what, 441 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,680 Speaker 5: look at me, look at my life, look at my testimony. 442 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,320 Speaker 5: I didn't stay there, and this is how you this 443 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,800 Speaker 5: is how you not stay down. 444 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 2: Do you think it was a complexion thing that she 445 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,520 Speaker 2: did it because you were the light skinned girl. And 446 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,040 Speaker 2: the reason I ask, and I just want to say, 447 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:29,119 Speaker 2: I you know, your strength is like no other. And 448 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,440 Speaker 2: the reason I say that is my wife, who I've 449 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,960 Speaker 2: been together with for thirty years. She was cutting the 450 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 2: face right when she was younger because she was a 451 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,879 Speaker 2: lighter skinned. She had fifty stitches on her face, seventy 452 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,200 Speaker 2: two stitches on her leg. They try to slice her up. 453 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,200 Speaker 2: And when I sit back and I try to think 454 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,879 Speaker 2: about how would I feel and how it would be 455 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,879 Speaker 2: it would have broke me, the fact that you know, 456 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,919 Speaker 2: it's your face, and how it made her stronger, and 457 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 2: how I'm looking at this and how it made you stronger. 458 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 2: And I'm just like the strength that you have. But 459 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,679 Speaker 2: I was just wondering, do you feel like it was 460 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,879 Speaker 2: your complexion that that did it? It was that jealousy because 461 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:05,399 Speaker 2: back in the day, it used to be this whole thing, 462 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,080 Speaker 2: light skin, brown skinned, dog skin thing, and it was 463 00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,040 Speaker 2: like a whole thing, and I felt like it divided 464 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,760 Speaker 2: a lot of us just being black. Do you feel 465 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,040 Speaker 2: like that was part of it? I am black, I'm 466 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:13,760 Speaker 2: one hundred percent black. 467 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:14,400 Speaker 1: Don't let him. 468 00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,160 Speaker 3: Dj nvy. I was bad back in the day. Now, 469 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:22,400 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not had bad now, but. 470 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,399 Speaker 5: But I was saying, come on now, what I'm saying 471 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 5: is I was I was fine as wine back in 472 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 5: the day. But so, of course it had something to 473 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 5: do with I mean, jealousy, I think, but now light skin. 474 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 5: From what I'm told, she's light skin too, Okay, So 475 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 5: I don't know if that played a part in it, 476 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:44,440 Speaker 5: but definitely jealousy. I had just purchased a brand new lexus. 477 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,600 Speaker 5: You know, I had the guy I was I was 478 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:51,120 Speaker 5: at I was dancing at a strip club, and so yeah, 479 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 5: I was, well, excuse me. 480 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:59,119 Speaker 4: I'm sorry, you just talking about niggas. 481 00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 2: He went right back in the nigga. 482 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 5: My stripper name was It's It's I Am. It was Caramel, 483 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:12,480 Speaker 5: And I have a chapter in Grant Me Vision called Caramel. 484 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,480 Speaker 5: You have to go to a Caramel chapter. I put 485 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,159 Speaker 5: you in the strip club. I literally walk you in. 486 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 5: I put you in there. The upst the downs, the 487 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 5: house and lows of what a little black girl from 488 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:30,080 Speaker 5: central South Carolina, you know, growing up and have went 489 00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,200 Speaker 5: through a lot of things that I won't tell you know, 490 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,240 Speaker 5: I won't tell you too much, but how I got 491 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,159 Speaker 5: to be in the strip club and the things that 492 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,400 Speaker 5: happened while. 493 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,399 Speaker 1: I'm there in South Carolina is a different breed. 494 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:46,960 Speaker 5: Yes, So back then, we wasn't we wasn't making it rain. 495 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,679 Speaker 5: We was doing the r Kelly song in the in 496 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,600 Speaker 5: the movie. You know it was it was slow motion. 497 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,760 Speaker 5: Everything was like sensual and sexual. 498 00:23:54,840 --> 00:24:00,960 Speaker 3: Back then. Now people it's it's like the whole it's 499 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 3: a lot. They work for it. Now. I didn't have 500 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:04,040 Speaker 3: to work for it. 501 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:08,879 Speaker 4: Back then, Yes, chapter eighteen sort of blind eyes can't see, 502 00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:10,919 Speaker 4: And the book is called Grant Me Vision? 503 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,280 Speaker 1: When did God give you the vision? 504 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 5: God gave me the vision when honestly, he gave me 505 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 5: the vision when I was most suicidal. He gave me 506 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 5: because what I used to pray for all the time. 507 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 5: I used to say, God, give me vision, give me vision. 508 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,879 Speaker 5: And I went through this roller coaster ride of getting 509 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:38,719 Speaker 5: all of these Donor up Cornia transplants, and then one 510 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,920 Speaker 5: would fail and then I get another one. So over 511 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,120 Speaker 5: time it was like I was getting I've had over 512 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,240 Speaker 5: thirty forty surgeries on my eyes trying to get my 513 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,960 Speaker 5: vision back. But in that moment I used to just say, 514 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,200 Speaker 5: you know, God, you know, give me vision. I just 515 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,680 Speaker 5: want vision. Didn't And I think back now, I was like, 516 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 5: why was I asking for sight? 517 00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:57,840 Speaker 3: Like give me vision? 518 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,919 Speaker 5: And it was as though he was there with me 519 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,639 Speaker 5: all along. I have to give him the credit for that. 520 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,440 Speaker 5: But I feel like mostly as I'm coming out, transitioning 521 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:14,919 Speaker 5: out of all the drama and the depression, I was 522 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,359 Speaker 5: reminded that I'm going to give you what you asked for. 523 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 5: And so when that doctor when I said in Miami 524 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 5: with a really good friend of mine by the name 525 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 5: of Humble, and that doctor told me Humble, and he 526 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,919 Speaker 5: told me, he says, you know, this is it, my 527 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,040 Speaker 5: second my second opinion. 528 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,680 Speaker 3: They told me that you'll never see again. This is it. 529 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,720 Speaker 3: Your retinance has detached. You fought a good fight. 530 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,840 Speaker 5: Everything that you know I worked for over the years 531 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,720 Speaker 5: is gone, all the surgeries, this is I'm at the 532 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 5: last strow. And I realized in that moment that I 533 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,560 Speaker 5: can't be mad because God granted me my vision. He 534 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,359 Speaker 5: granted me vision, and this is something I don't know 535 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:02,480 Speaker 5: how once again, you know, it's like I always have 536 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 5: this thing. I say, Okay, here we go it. What's next? 537 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,320 Speaker 5: And you know, so this is next. I'm gonna be 538 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,479 Speaker 5: blind for the rest of my life. But what am 539 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:14,359 Speaker 5: I gonna do with this? And so the vision that 540 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:18,680 Speaker 5: I have now, I feel like no one can not 541 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,440 Speaker 5: feel like I know that no one can take away 542 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 5: from me. 543 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:23,800 Speaker 3: And how can I. 544 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,479 Speaker 5: Be angry or mad when God granted me exactly what 545 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,479 Speaker 5: I asked for. I would rather have the vision I 546 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 5: have now going out speaking and talking to women and 547 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 5: showing them what the other side of death looks like. 548 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:42,959 Speaker 5: He granted me vision and the vision I have is amazing. 549 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:47,680 Speaker 5: I mean I literally wake up every day and I'm full. 550 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 3: Of joy and I'm happy. 551 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,840 Speaker 5: And of course, let's be honest, I would rather have sight. 552 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,000 Speaker 5: I mean, who doesn't want to see, you know, and 553 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 5: it be taken at the hands of someone else. But 554 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:02,440 Speaker 5: this is what I have, and this is what this 555 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,760 Speaker 5: is what I have to work with, and I'm going 556 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,360 Speaker 5: to continue working getting until I can't work it anymore. 557 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:09,840 Speaker 1: What what other senses got stronger? 558 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 5: You know? They my children, so I can hear really good. 559 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:18,560 Speaker 5: I think that was it, I think, but also too 560 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 5: just being alert and being aware of things, like things 561 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:29,840 Speaker 5: that surround me. I'm hyper alert on everything around me, 562 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,040 Speaker 5: so I think all of them may have enhanced. 563 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,200 Speaker 4: You know what's funny about kids. You know, I got 564 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:37,720 Speaker 4: four daughters. It's not that your hearing gets better when 565 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 4: you're a parent. It's just that when they get quiet, 566 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,399 Speaker 4: you know they're probably doing something, so that's when you 567 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:45,400 Speaker 4: just screamed for them. Exactly hearing. 568 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,280 Speaker 1: No, it's what I don't hear is when I'm like, 569 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:48,000 Speaker 1: what's y'all in there? 570 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,080 Speaker 5: Do you know? 571 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:49,480 Speaker 1: There? 572 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 4: You go? 573 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,480 Speaker 3: Now, I think everything got enhanced. 574 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,119 Speaker 4: Now after every touchdown you know, DeAndre gives you, you know, 575 00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:59,479 Speaker 4: the football. Talk to us about that energy in the 576 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 4: bond you feel when that happens, Like what does that 577 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 4: mean for you? 578 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:07,440 Speaker 5: It's amazing because of course I can't see. And so 579 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,240 Speaker 5: the very first initial time that he brought me the ball, 580 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 5: I was like, I was like, he coming, where he's coming, 581 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:13,919 Speaker 5: where he's doing what? 582 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,520 Speaker 3: And he he held you. 583 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,679 Speaker 5: Know, he handed me the ball, and it was just 584 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,520 Speaker 5: the way that he gave it to me, like he 585 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 5: squeezed my hands and he was like, Mama, I love you, 586 00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,919 Speaker 5: and I'm holding back tears because I'm like, man, you know, 587 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,600 Speaker 5: it just signified everything that we went through, all of 588 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,400 Speaker 5: the things that we went through that nobody will understand 589 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:38,000 Speaker 5: that when that went on under one roof with me 590 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:42,840 Speaker 5: and these four children, and it's amazing, Like I wouldn't 591 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,000 Speaker 5: trade it for the world. And so now of course 592 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 5: he's you know, he's on his third team and I 593 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,400 Speaker 5: can't always be in the end zone to him get 594 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,000 Speaker 5: me the ball, but he makes sure I still get 595 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:53,480 Speaker 5: my balls. 596 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,320 Speaker 1: He makes sure's that whole room of football. 597 00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 5: Some are deflated, some are it's like like, you know, 598 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:05,480 Speaker 5: he's in his twelfth season, but I still have those balls, 599 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,719 Speaker 5: and I think over time, you know, we give them 600 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,320 Speaker 5: some of the family members and things like that, but. 601 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:11,320 Speaker 3: I have the majority. 602 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:12,240 Speaker 1: You're from Clemson too. 603 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:17,200 Speaker 5: We are from Clemson, South Carolina. No, not from Clemson. No, 604 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:20,240 Speaker 5: not from Clemson. It only started when we were in Houston. 605 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. 606 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 5: So but no, I'm from Clemson, South Carolina, proud bleed Orange. 607 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, South Carolina. Let's go. 608 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:30,880 Speaker 1: Now. 609 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 4: You have a chapter called ending Generational Curses. What was 610 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 4: some generational curses that you felt you needed to break? 611 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:43,040 Speaker 5: The biggest one, the most relevant one was keeping secrets. 612 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:45,040 Speaker 3: Man. 613 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:49,440 Speaker 5: We were notorious for keeping secrets, and so I think 614 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:53,000 Speaker 5: what what stands out the most was when my brother 615 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 5: passed away. He got shot by the police in ninety seven. 616 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 5: He was in a domestic violence, a dispute himself. Three 617 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 5: or four officers come in open fire on him and 618 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 5: killing him instantly. And I never forget. My father went 619 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,000 Speaker 5: down there to the room that he was staying in 620 00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,480 Speaker 5: and there was a tape recorder and he came back. 621 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 5: He grabbed the tape recorder and his rings that he 622 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,720 Speaker 5: had got from Clemson because he was a very prominent 623 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 5: football player Clemson, and he shoves this tape record in 624 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,920 Speaker 5: my hand, and he says, I don't ever want to 625 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 5: you know, I don't ever want to see this MF 626 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 5: thing again. And I'm like, god, you know, I'm twenty something. 627 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:31,640 Speaker 5: I was like, what do I do? 628 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:32,080 Speaker 1: Well? 629 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,719 Speaker 5: I keep it, and I keep it for many many years, 630 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:39,200 Speaker 5: and eventually I give it to his daughter, who grew 631 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:43,000 Speaker 5: up to be a prominent lawyer in Atlanta. But that 632 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,440 Speaker 5: was my way of saying, you know what, like I 633 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 5: want this out and even talking about it now. I 634 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 5: only spoke about it, you know now. And my father 635 00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:54,400 Speaker 5: had no idea, right I was writing a book, and 636 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 5: I was like, like, this can't we can't keep this anymore, 637 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,680 Speaker 5: like this is this, this is gonna infest us forever 638 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,280 Speaker 5: if I don't talk about this. And so I think 639 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,160 Speaker 5: that was one of the things I put in the chapter. 640 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 5: I was like, you know what, talking about this tape 641 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:11,280 Speaker 5: recorder and what he left. I don't want to keep 642 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,080 Speaker 5: secrets anymore. So that was my That was I think 643 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:15,840 Speaker 5: that was the most prominent thing that I could talk about, 644 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:17,760 Speaker 5: was breaking generations and the curses. 645 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,760 Speaker 3: And there were many more. I mean, we were in. 646 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,680 Speaker 5: A house like you know, you you don't talk about 647 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,600 Speaker 5: things and even talk I was. I was raped and 648 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:28,200 Speaker 5: molested at the age of ten, and I was told, 649 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 5: you're not going to mess up his family. Go somewhere 650 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,120 Speaker 5: and set your fast ass down. We're not gonna talk 651 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:33,560 Speaker 5: about this. 652 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:36,920 Speaker 3: That I was. I was. 653 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 5: I was raped by a reverend. Yeah, a reverend, A 654 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:41,480 Speaker 5: family member. 655 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:41,920 Speaker 1: He was. 656 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,000 Speaker 3: He was a family member. 657 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:47,280 Speaker 5: And so like, just exposing those things now, it puts 658 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,400 Speaker 5: you on a vulnerable state. However, there are somebody that's 659 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,120 Speaker 5: going through these things now that needs to know. You 660 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,200 Speaker 5: know that they need to be talked about. They need 661 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:56,760 Speaker 5: to be brought to the surface, because that's the only 662 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:57,600 Speaker 5: way that you're going to heal. 663 00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,920 Speaker 2: Believe you when it happened, Did they believe you? 664 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,400 Speaker 3: And not at all? Not at all. My mother and 665 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,560 Speaker 3: my grandmother, they totally did not believe me. 666 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,680 Speaker 4: How did that change your relationship with them if it 667 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:08,240 Speaker 4: did at all? 668 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 5: Well, I learned early on that I couldn't trust people. 669 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:18,600 Speaker 5: And then you know, and I talk about that in 670 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,000 Speaker 5: the book. There's a there's a place where I mentioned 671 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,320 Speaker 5: that ten year that ten year old little girl died 672 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:27,040 Speaker 5: that day and she was like angry and mad, and 673 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,680 Speaker 5: then when she awakened, you know she was present in 674 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:33,479 Speaker 5: every relationship because she was She was the one that 675 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,160 Speaker 5: was fighting and cussing and mad and angry, right she 676 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,040 Speaker 5: and she had a lot to do with how I 677 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:42,000 Speaker 5: parented my children and the decisions that I made, And 678 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:44,520 Speaker 5: so it's just it was one of those things where 679 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,440 Speaker 5: I had to really get a grip on and understand 680 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,360 Speaker 5: that man, like, this kid is hurting. 681 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:52,360 Speaker 3: But why, you. 682 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,120 Speaker 5: Know, because we were offended, we were hurt, we know, 683 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,160 Speaker 5: you know, she was molested. All of these things were 684 00:32:58,200 --> 00:32:59,960 Speaker 5: present in my life the entire time. 685 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:02,600 Speaker 4: What I would never understand about stories like that is 686 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:04,640 Speaker 4: you know, when you go to your mother and you 687 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,640 Speaker 4: tell her what happened, and the mother says, hey, don't 688 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,560 Speaker 4: say anything because I don't want you to mess up 689 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 4: his family. So there is some type of protectiveness there 690 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,480 Speaker 4: that she has. But why don't they have that? Why 691 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,720 Speaker 4: didn't you have that for you? Why was she protecting 692 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,400 Speaker 4: him as opposed to you? 693 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,960 Speaker 5: I think now looking back, Charlemagne, my mom nor my 694 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,920 Speaker 5: grandmother had the tools to understand what was going on, 695 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,040 Speaker 5: and you have to think this probably happened to them 696 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:34,800 Speaker 5: at some point. I didn't understand that then, Like, why 697 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:38,000 Speaker 5: wouldn't they protect me, and why wouldn't why wouldn't they 698 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:41,360 Speaker 5: believe me? And so it just began a whole whirlwind 699 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:45,600 Speaker 5: of me manipulating, deceiving and lies, and man, I learned 700 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,680 Speaker 5: how to lie and just I was going to get 701 00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:49,320 Speaker 5: you before you got me, and I didn't care who 702 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,800 Speaker 5: you were. I took that throughout my entire life, just 703 00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:58,000 Speaker 5: about and not understanding, and I began to not trust 704 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 5: anybody at that point. But I still honor them, believe 705 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,120 Speaker 5: it or not. My grandmama will steal my grandmama, my 706 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:07,120 Speaker 5: mam will still my mama. I didn't understand it, but 707 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,239 Speaker 5: I love them. 708 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:10,960 Speaker 4: I saw you say that the woman you are today, 709 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:12,360 Speaker 4: if you had to do it all over again, you 710 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:13,120 Speaker 4: wouldn't change a. 711 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,799 Speaker 5: Thing now, one single thing really now, one single thing. 712 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,719 Speaker 5: And people when I say that, they're like, what do 713 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,600 Speaker 5: you mean? You are blind? Like you wasn't born by 714 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,319 Speaker 5: But I take all of that, And if you take 715 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,360 Speaker 5: all of that and you mix it up, how could 716 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,960 Speaker 5: I be this woman today, be able to talk, be 717 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:36,120 Speaker 5: able to speak out so bravely, so boldly, if I 718 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:39,560 Speaker 5: had not went through every single thing? So how can 719 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,640 Speaker 5: I be mad at that? And also too, when you 720 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,840 Speaker 5: purposefully make up your mind that you are going to 721 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:50,320 Speaker 5: heal and you are going to deal with depression and anxiety, 722 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:54,120 Speaker 5: and you're going to wake up whole. Then I have 723 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,360 Speaker 5: no other choice but to understand that all of that 724 00:34:56,480 --> 00:35:00,279 Speaker 5: had to happen for a reason. Every single moment, every 725 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 5: single surgery, every single moment of pain, it had to happen. 726 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,920 Speaker 5: And I wouldn't change not one single thing. 727 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:10,440 Speaker 1: You know what. I know, I only got a few 728 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:10,879 Speaker 1: more questions. 729 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,759 Speaker 4: But you know, traumas are real, and triggers are real, 730 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,000 Speaker 4: and when you're writing a book, you know, and you're 731 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,399 Speaker 4: having to relive a lot of these things that can 732 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:21,240 Speaker 4: trigger you. But also you know the young woman coming 733 00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:25,040 Speaker 4: home doing interviews that could trigger you as well. 734 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,040 Speaker 1: Have you been triggered by. 735 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:30,279 Speaker 5: An Absolutely all of this happened while I'm trying to 736 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:33,839 Speaker 5: write the book, Lord, So she gets out while I'm 737 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:34,440 Speaker 5: writing it. 738 00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:38,400 Speaker 3: She speaks out while I'm writing it, and I'm triggered. 739 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:41,560 Speaker 5: So they tell you, when you're writing a book, Charlamagne, 740 00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 5: you may, you may can attest to this. It's like, 741 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:48,640 Speaker 5: when you unraveling all these emotions, you need to float 742 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:49,120 Speaker 5: in water. 743 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:52,160 Speaker 3: You need to get counseling. I was trying everything. 744 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:55,920 Speaker 5: I was floating every night and nothing was working because 745 00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:59,040 Speaker 5: you know, mentally, I was having to relive all of this. 746 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,280 Speaker 5: But I think just sitting down with my ghostwriter and saying, 747 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,160 Speaker 5: you know what, I'm gonna get it out. It has 748 00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:07,600 Speaker 5: to get out, I'm going to be because think about it, like, 749 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:09,440 Speaker 5: if I don't get this out, my brothers and I 750 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,480 Speaker 5: here to tell their story. My fiance that I was 751 00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,160 Speaker 5: in the car wreck with that died eight days later, 752 00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:18,239 Speaker 5: Deandre's father. If this is it's up to me to 753 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,360 Speaker 5: tell these stories? So how dare I allow them? It 754 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,480 Speaker 5: doesn't matter what they say. I was like, I'm not 755 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:24,839 Speaker 5: gonna let them win on this one. 756 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,000 Speaker 3: Now, you can't. You can't take nothing else. 757 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,200 Speaker 1: How do you prevent yourself from writing a dish record? 758 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:29,440 Speaker 5: Though? 759 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:38,200 Speaker 3: Like, oh, it's coming, is it? If I could wrap it? 760 00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,920 Speaker 3: Will I can't rap envy? 761 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,920 Speaker 4: But making sure that. 762 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,880 Speaker 5: My daughter told me yesterday she said, Mama, I'm waiting 763 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:50,279 Speaker 5: on book two. I was like, really, it took me 764 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:54,440 Speaker 5: three or four years to do this, but no, I 765 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:59,560 Speaker 5: feel like I feel like I have to. I want 766 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,080 Speaker 5: to keep talking talking about it. I want to keep 767 00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:04,400 Speaker 5: telling my story every day, like even I wanted to 768 00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:07,359 Speaker 5: make sure that in my memoir that people know I'm 769 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:11,560 Speaker 5: still struggling. I'm still going through. It's no perfect days 770 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:15,080 Speaker 5: for somebody being blind, but I'm doing it. I want 771 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:18,160 Speaker 5: people to know that I'm doing it. And so yeah, 772 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:21,560 Speaker 5: I want to keep I just want to keep that going, 773 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:22,760 Speaker 5: that energy. 774 00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:25,800 Speaker 2: Now I want to talk about you your nonprofit Smooth, 775 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,200 Speaker 2: tell people about that and how they can jump into 776 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:29,920 Speaker 2: that and help you out with that and maybe support. 777 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:30,359 Speaker 3: Oh. 778 00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:34,440 Speaker 5: Absolutely, So, I have a nonprofit. We advocate against domestic violence. 779 00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,960 Speaker 5: I'm in three states and we really are out here 780 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:41,239 Speaker 5: helping women. I have so many stories where we go 781 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:48,479 Speaker 5: out and literally take women from shelters, organizations, agencies, and 782 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,040 Speaker 5: when they decide to go into their own dwelling, we 783 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:56,520 Speaker 5: provide them with financial literacy, household supplies. We do it 784 00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:00,640 Speaker 5: all and I am hands on every single case. I'm 785 00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:04,240 Speaker 5: right there. And so Smooth stands for speaking mentally, outwardly, 786 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:07,799 Speaker 5: opening opportunities. That's with three olds, and they can go 787 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:12,440 Speaker 5: to smoothink dot org. That's with three olds, and every 788 00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:18,400 Speaker 5: single thing that people contribute goes into these women. I really, really, 789 00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:23,600 Speaker 5: really can it stress enough that my organization is built 790 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:28,880 Speaker 5: and It thrives on helping these women who have been abused, 791 00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:33,120 Speaker 5: and not only abused, but have been traumatized. It doesn't matter, 792 00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:36,200 Speaker 5: and it's not just domestic violence. We help all women 793 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:37,880 Speaker 5: in different fastest self abuse. 794 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:42,400 Speaker 1: When do you think twopat question? Were you hard on 795 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,040 Speaker 1: your daughters? 796 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,040 Speaker 3: I was hard on all my children. I was a 797 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:49,200 Speaker 3: disciplinarian and I didn't play. 798 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,880 Speaker 5: Now I have eight grand babies, I'm a little softer now, 799 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:57,200 Speaker 5: but I was super hard on my children. And sitting 800 00:38:57,239 --> 00:39:00,920 Speaker 5: in the house, like just sitting there watching life happened 801 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,319 Speaker 5: and things go by. I knew that, like I said, 802 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,520 Speaker 5: I had to have a voice. I had to have 803 00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:08,120 Speaker 5: them fear somebody. And I have this thing. You know, 804 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,719 Speaker 5: I'm from the old school. I'm like, you know, you 805 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:12,719 Speaker 5: either you either listen to me or you don't listen 806 00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:13,319 Speaker 5: to the white man. 807 00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:16,040 Speaker 1: You're gonna listen. You listen to somebody. 808 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:21,640 Speaker 5: People don't understand about that thing. You're gonna listen to somebody, right, 809 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,319 Speaker 5: And so, like I said, I just became a disciplinarian 810 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,680 Speaker 5: and it actually paid off because, like I said, I 811 00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:28,600 Speaker 5: was able to get all them in college and the 812 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,879 Speaker 5: proudest moments of my life was of dropping those kids 813 00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:36,120 Speaker 5: off in those dormitaries dormitories and coming back home and 814 00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:38,279 Speaker 5: just just giving them a chance at life, a chance 815 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:38,920 Speaker 5: that I didn't have. 816 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:40,000 Speaker 3: Very important. 817 00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:41,799 Speaker 4: The other part of that question is my daddy would 818 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:45,239 Speaker 4: always always felt like my daddy raised me out of 819 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,560 Speaker 4: fear and not love. When did you start raising the 820 00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:51,800 Speaker 4: kids with love and not with fear? 821 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,839 Speaker 5: When they started rebelling and telling me about myself and 822 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:59,040 Speaker 5: just being like, Mama, you like you know, my boys 823 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,239 Speaker 5: they were in eleventh and twelfth grade, I still had 824 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,879 Speaker 5: them coming home at ten o'clock and they were like, Mama, 825 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,719 Speaker 5: enough is enough. Man. And not only that, but just 826 00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,800 Speaker 5: like literally telling me about myself. Sometimes you have to listen. 827 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,480 Speaker 5: I had the mother do as I say, not as 828 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,839 Speaker 5: I do. I didn't want to be that mother. I 829 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,960 Speaker 5: wanted to, but I also didn't want to just be 830 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:23,640 Speaker 5: your friend. And I think that me just looking at 831 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:26,400 Speaker 5: myself and saying, you know what, man like, let me 832 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,239 Speaker 5: let me give them some grace because they're not gonna 833 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:29,919 Speaker 5: do what I did. 834 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,040 Speaker 3: You know, these are some good children. 835 00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:34,560 Speaker 5: I had to trust that what I instilled, you know, 836 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:38,360 Speaker 5: now it is time to allow them to grow and flourish. 837 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:41,640 Speaker 5: But it took some time because I was scared. I 838 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,040 Speaker 5: remember my daughter telling me a few years ago, she said, Mamma, 839 00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,160 Speaker 5: you wouldn't let me go anywhere. You wouldn't let me 840 00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:46,760 Speaker 5: do anything. 841 00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:50,160 Speaker 3: And I told her, I said, I apologized. I didn't 842 00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:51,520 Speaker 3: want my story to be your. 843 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:55,200 Speaker 1: Story, right right. Last question. 844 00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,120 Speaker 4: Your book ends with a poem from Deandre's celebrating you 845 00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:00,120 Speaker 4: know your twenty years called the screen for my mom. 846 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,800 Speaker 4: How did you feel the first time you heard those words? 847 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:03,160 Speaker 1: He wrote. 848 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,440 Speaker 5: I was sitting there at my twenty year life celebration, 849 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:11,560 Speaker 5: and this is twenty years of everything I went through, 850 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,680 Speaker 5: the struggles and everything, and I'm sitting there with everybody 851 00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,319 Speaker 5: that I love, and everybody had flew in and I 852 00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:20,160 Speaker 5: was just feeling amazing. Had no idea that he wrote 853 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,040 Speaker 5: this poem. He gets up there. Each one of my 854 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,600 Speaker 5: children got up and says something. But he gets up 855 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:29,160 Speaker 5: there and he says this poem and I'm all tears. 856 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:33,440 Speaker 5: I'm just boohoo crying because I'm like and he says 857 00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:35,759 Speaker 5: that he told me later that he made it up 858 00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:37,640 Speaker 5: on the way there, just on the plane. 859 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:39,359 Speaker 3: He just came from his heart. 860 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:43,120 Speaker 5: I had to put that in the memoir because it 861 00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:47,719 Speaker 5: was so significant to just let people know that what 862 00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:50,839 Speaker 5: you pour into your children, he eventually will get back 863 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:54,560 Speaker 5: one day. And that is a poem, and that speaks 864 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,200 Speaker 5: so highly of me and everything that we went through. 865 00:41:57,680 --> 00:41:59,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was amazing. 866 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,120 Speaker 4: What's the message you want people to get from this book? 867 00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:02,919 Speaker 4: Especially women? 868 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:08,080 Speaker 5: I want women to know that there is a place 869 00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,000 Speaker 5: for us. And I say us because I'm still in 870 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,759 Speaker 5: the fight with you. However, when you make up your 871 00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:18,960 Speaker 5: mind to really forgive and acknowledge everything that you've done, 872 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,840 Speaker 5: take accountability. I think it's very important that when we 873 00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:27,520 Speaker 5: stop pointing fingers, and when we stop blaming other people 874 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:31,040 Speaker 5: and just sit down, sit in silence with yourself. When 875 00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,720 Speaker 5: you began to just sit in silence, look at yourself, 876 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,799 Speaker 5: whether it's in the mirror, whether you realize what you've 877 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:39,399 Speaker 5: done with your children, the abusive relationship that you're in, 878 00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:42,200 Speaker 5: when you began to take your power back baby. On 879 00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:45,000 Speaker 5: the other side of that, you could scream and scream 880 00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:47,440 Speaker 5: as loud as you want. There is no more suffering 881 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,840 Speaker 5: in silence, and so I feel like Grant Me Vision 882 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:52,880 Speaker 5: portrays all of that. The upst the downs, The journey 883 00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:56,560 Speaker 5: of a young Black girl who didn't know who she 884 00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:59,160 Speaker 5: was going through all of this. But I am you, 885 00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:02,480 Speaker 5: You are me, and like I said, on the other 886 00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:06,560 Speaker 5: side of that is happiness is joy. And I feel 887 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:10,520 Speaker 5: like when you can just understand that when you make 888 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:12,839 Speaker 5: the choice, no one can make that choice for you. 889 00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:16,200 Speaker 5: But there is so much happiness on the other side 890 00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:18,640 Speaker 5: of that pain. And I want everybody to go get 891 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:21,560 Speaker 5: grant me Vision because I want you to just see 892 00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:25,080 Speaker 5: my journey. It wasn't always you know, like this, but 893 00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:27,520 Speaker 5: I want you to just really go go grab grant 894 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:31,279 Speaker 5: me Vision today and really really dive into it. There 895 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:33,840 Speaker 5: are so many takeaway, so many tools in there, and 896 00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,319 Speaker 5: I want you to just follow my journey and see 897 00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:38,080 Speaker 5: how I navigate through life. 898 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:40,960 Speaker 4: Man, what a testimony you got, Sabrina. And I'll tell 899 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,160 Speaker 4: you something. You know how to promote a book? 900 00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:42,439 Speaker 1: Okay? 901 00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:45,000 Speaker 4: If you ever listen to somebody promote a book when 902 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,000 Speaker 4: they do an interview, if they keep representing the book, 903 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:48,359 Speaker 4: they know what they're doing, right. 904 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:53,320 Speaker 5: Okay, Come on, grant me Vision out today. Wherever books 905 00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:53,960 Speaker 5: are sold. 906 00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:56,920 Speaker 1: To follow you? 907 00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:58,759 Speaker 2: Too many Faith and forgive Us is out now? How 908 00:43:58,760 --> 00:43:59,360 Speaker 2: can they follow you? 909 00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:00,239 Speaker 1: So? 910 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:04,279 Speaker 5: I'm always on Instagram Sabrina Greenley twelve. You can go 911 00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:09,320 Speaker 5: and I'm cooking, I'm dancing, I'm doing any and everything 912 00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:13,840 Speaker 5: itself for driving Sabrina Greenley twelve on Instagram and again 913 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:16,440 Speaker 5: you can go to my website smooth. 914 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,640 Speaker 3: That's where three o's ink dot org. 915 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,520 Speaker 2: All right, well it's Sabrina Greenley. It's the Breakfast Club. 916 00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:22,239 Speaker 2: Good morning, thank you. 917 00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,920 Speaker 1: Wake that ass up Earth in the morning for Breakfast Club.