1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,720 Speaker 1: You are listening to Ruthie's Table four in partnership with Montclair. 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,920 Speaker 2: In the past weeks, a phrase has been said to 3 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:11,039 Speaker 2: me over and over again, Ruthie, you are going to 4 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 2: love Griffin Dunn. Of course, being an independent spirit wishing 5 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 2: to make up my own mind, I've been listening to 6 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 2: Griffin's interviews, watching his films, and most of all, reading 7 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 2: his beautiful new memoir The Friday Afternoon Club. With stories 8 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 2: of growing up and a family full of story tellers. 9 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 2: Cooking a recipe is also about telling a story. Eating 10 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 2: together is telling a story. Going to a food market 11 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 2: in Naples is telling a story. When Griffin told his 12 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,840 Speaker 2: brother Alex he was going to write a book about 13 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 2: their family, he responded, you can say anything you want, 14 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 2: but say it from a place of love. Today, Griffin 15 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 2: and I are going to talk about food and family, 16 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 2: food and friends, food and memories. So we have a 17 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 2: recipe for Tagaleradi, with which you chose from all our books. 18 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: Yes I did. 19 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 3: The ingredients are one hundred grams of panchetta, six hundred 20 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 3: grams of veal minced, twenty five grams butter, one red onion, 21 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 3: one small leak, one celery heart and two cloves of garlic, 22 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:25,040 Speaker 3: one teaspoon, time and sage, three hundred milli liters of 23 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:29,279 Speaker 3: chicken broth, one hundred and fifty milli liters of milk, 24 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 3: peel of half a lemon. Finely chop the red onion, leak, celery, 25 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,399 Speaker 3: and garlic. Heat the olive oil in a heavy pan 26 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 3: over a medium heat. Fry the panchetta for five minutes. 27 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 3: Add the butter, onion, leak, celery, garlic, and thyme, and 28 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 3: season with salt and pepper. Fry for fifteen minutes, stirring. 29 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 3: Often add the veal in sage and cook until the 30 00:01:55,880 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 3: veal is no longer pink. Stir in the hot froth 31 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 3: milk and lemon peel and bring to a boil. Simmer 32 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 3: for one hour until most of the liquid has evaporated. 33 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 3: Set aside in a pan of boiling salted water. Cook 34 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 3: the tagli orini until al dente. Drain and combine the 35 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 3: pasta with the sauce. 36 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: Serve. It's a story in itself. 37 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 2: That's a story. 38 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: It's a story in itself. 39 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,239 Speaker 2: We have Sean, our head chef, who's here to tell 40 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 2: us about this wonderful pasta. 41 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:34,119 Speaker 4: Well, actually, what we did instead of this exact recipe. 42 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 4: We actually substituted white wine rather than milk. Oh, I'm 43 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 4: shop that's okay because we do it in different ways. 44 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,919 Speaker 4: But meat sauces are quite nice in the summer because 45 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 4: it always remind you if your summer holidays in Tuscany 46 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 4: or do you think how you kind of on a 47 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 4: hot Obviously it's not a hot day today, but if 48 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,079 Speaker 4: it was a hot day, you might find that kind 49 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:55,839 Speaker 4: of replenishing to have something like that. 50 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 1: I feel very. 51 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,080 Speaker 2: Also, the things you know when you think about American 52 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 2: where we grew up, you know, spaghetti and meatpoles, you 53 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 2: know bolines sauce. It's kind heavy and it's kind of 54 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 2: the tomato and meat and meatballs. And then in the 55 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 2: pasta and this is very delicate. It's much more like 56 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 2: it's delicious. Okay, So going to the beginning of the beginning, 57 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,359 Speaker 2: what was the food like in your house? Who? Your 58 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 2: mother was Mexican? 59 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:33,240 Speaker 3: My mother was half Mexican. My grandmother was fully Mexican. 60 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 2: Was she present in your life? Your grandma very much. 61 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 3: She married my grandfather, My grandfather wooed her away from 62 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 3: a man in Mexico City. 63 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: He was a banker, a very prominent man. 64 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 2: So he went to Mexico, and he. 65 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 3: Was in Mexico City and he was coming into No Gallas, 66 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 3: where my grandmother lived, and she fell in love with 67 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 3: my grandfather, and to make sure that the wedding would 68 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 3: be called off because he was on his way to 69 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 3: marry her. There were about twenty five to thirty stops 70 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:04,160 Speaker 3: from Mexico City to Nogallas. 71 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 2: Where's no Gallas, is it No, It's right. 72 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 3: On the border of Arizona and Mexico. And she was 73 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 3: on the Mexican side, and she was so worried that 74 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 3: he would show up, so she sent a telegram to 75 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 3: every stop from Mexico City all the way to Nogallas, 76 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 3: of which they were about thirty and every time there 77 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 3: was a stop, they go telegram for signor Gomez. 78 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 1: Do not come to the wedding. Stop. The wedding is 79 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 1: called off. I planned to marry. 80 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 3: Thomas Griffin and finally had a stack of about twenty 81 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 3: eight and then he went. 82 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 1: He got the hint. 83 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:38,799 Speaker 2: He did get them. 84 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 3: He got them all, and then he turned and went 85 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 3: back to Mexico City a single man, and my grandmother 86 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 3: married Tom Griffin, who was from a very prominent family. 87 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 3: In Chicago, they had the Griffin Wheel Company, and the 88 00:04:56,680 --> 00:05:00,600 Speaker 3: Griffin wheels were on every pullman car in America. But 89 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 3: he didn't want to be in that business. He wanted 90 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 3: to be a rancher. And he came to Arizona as 91 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 3: a young boy at pulmonary problems. And he came back 92 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 3: and he left somebody at the altar too, a lot 93 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:16,839 Speaker 3: of scandal in my family, and settled on a ranch 94 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 3: and he was sort of cut out of the will 95 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:21,920 Speaker 3: and a lot of brought up. It was quite a 96 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,479 Speaker 3: scandal that he left the society woman on the altar 97 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:28,479 Speaker 3: in Chicago. So when I was growing up, food was 98 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 3: not really a priority my mother, except for the meal 99 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 3: that we had almost every day, was always cooked by 100 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 3: our housekeeper, a woman named Carmen, and she made free 101 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 3: poles and rice. 102 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:45,479 Speaker 2: So she was Mexican. 103 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: She's a Mexican. 104 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 3: We grew up on rice and beans, and we loved rice. 105 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 3: We never to this day. I'm never tired of rice 106 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 3: and bean. If I cook for myself, I always make 107 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,599 Speaker 3: rice and beans. It's just a stable of our diet. 108 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 2: But do you think your grandmother she sounds She came 109 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,480 Speaker 2: from a probably privileged family as well. So maybe she 110 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 2: didn't go in the kitchen either. 111 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:05,600 Speaker 1: She did not. 112 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 3: She was Her family were going back generations were like 113 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 3: real estate barons. They had silver mines. But when the 114 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,039 Speaker 3: Mexican Revolution happened Pancho Villa, they were on the wrong 115 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 3: side of the revolution. They were aristocrats, and that's how 116 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 3: they ended up in Nogallas on the Arizona side. He 117 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 3: drove them out and took all their holdings. But then 118 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 3: my grandmother's side of the family they built up their 119 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 3: real estate business and ended up owning a lot of 120 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 3: property at Nogallas. 121 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 2: When I did an interview with Alfonso Korn, you know Alfonso, 122 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 2: he was saying that the Mexican the class structure was 123 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,719 Speaker 2: that when you had more wealth. So in America, if 124 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 2: you have more wealth, you have bigger houses, bigger cars, 125 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:52,160 Speaker 2: more cars, bigger refrigerators, bigger everything. And he said in Mexico, 126 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 2: with greater wealth, you didn't have bigger everything, but you 127 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,239 Speaker 2: had more domestic staff. 128 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 3: Yes, my mother liked the comfort of how she grew up. 129 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 3: You know, in those days when you hired someone to 130 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,160 Speaker 3: cook and look after your children, they stayed in your lives. Yeah, 131 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 3: she was such an old Carmen who cooked for us. 132 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 3: She was so old by the time she finally retired. 133 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 2: Did you feel quite connected to home? 134 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 1: Oh? 135 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was just so comforting, you know. And she 136 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 3: was the one who would spank us. She was the 137 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 3: one who would, you know, discipline us. 138 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 2: And she had children of her own, she did not, and. 139 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 3: She would always go whenever we were exacerbating her patients, 140 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 3: she go, I kim ochocho it. Oh you horrible little boy, 141 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,679 Speaker 3: and you know you're driving me crazy. 142 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 2: Is you g So your grandmother spoke Spanish? Obviously, did 143 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 2: your mother? 144 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 3: My mother spoke Spanish well. To my regret, I had 145 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 3: a bucket list. One was to write a book. I 146 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 3: did that, and the other was to finally master Spanish. 147 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 3: And recently I have a problem being in California, Mexican 148 00:07:56,480 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 3: Spanish was the language of domestics, and I think my 149 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 3: father was a bit of a snob at that period 150 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 3: in his life before he evolved, so we weren't really 151 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 3: encouraged to speak Spanish. And in fact, when I started 152 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 3: school from the first grade, you know, they had us 153 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 3: take French. Yeah, and here I had, you know, so 154 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 3: I spoke of pigeon Spanish that I learned from Carmen 155 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 3: and what else. 156 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 2: Going back to the food, do you ever sit. 157 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,920 Speaker 3: Down for a fact, No, No, We would have meals 158 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 3: always in restaurants when we ever we ate together. We 159 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 3: never sat at a table in our home. And we 160 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 3: would go to a place on Sunday nights. There were 161 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 3: three restaurants. One was called the Bistro, the other was 162 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 3: called Chasins, and the other was the Brown Derby. And 163 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 3: our favorite was Chasins. And we'd have to get dressed up, 164 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,319 Speaker 3: and it was every Sunday night and we'd be there 165 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 3: and you'd see Alfred Hitchcock at one table and mister 166 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 3: and missus Jimmy Stewart at another. 167 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 2: And it was a very you know, good people move around. 168 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,679 Speaker 3: Well, it was very social, you know, but everybody had 169 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 3: their own sort of table. My brother and sister and 170 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 3: I loved Chasins because they made a dish called a 171 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 3: butterfly steak. 172 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 2: I can imagine it's opened up. 173 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 3: They open it up and it's just covered in butter, 174 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 3: and it was so delicious. And we would always go 175 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 3: on about the butterfly steak. 176 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 2: Do you think they put the butter on so you 177 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 2: get it? And then there would be a lump of 178 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 2: butter on it that would melt. 179 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,319 Speaker 3: Over there and you'd see the lump and then you'd 180 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 3: see it spread and it would just and you could cut. 181 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 3: You could rest the knife on top of the steak, 182 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,440 Speaker 3: not even apply pressure, that would just sort of cut. 183 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:33,839 Speaker 3: And there was a bathroom at Chasin's, the men's room, 184 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 3: and I think one of my earliest I guess sort 185 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 3: of not to overshare, but earliest erotic memories of this 186 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 3: place was there was in the bathroom at the urinal 187 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 3: was a picture of a man drowning in bosoms. He 188 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 3: was a tiny figure and then it was just surrounded 189 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 3: by bosoms. 190 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 2: And I bet that picture is there anymore? 191 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 1: Is no? 192 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 3: In fact, you know, the business Chasins went out of 193 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:01,839 Speaker 3: business and they had an aux and I found out 194 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 3: too late, but I wanted to know what happened to 195 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,439 Speaker 3: the bosom picture. I wanted to have that bosom picture 196 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,839 Speaker 3: to where it is. I don't know who happened. 197 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 2: Maybe it's gone to the Metropolitan Museum. 198 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know if it's worthy of that. 199 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,079 Speaker 2: Of times in a change. So you go to Chase 200 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 2: and said where the other did you go to other restaurants? 201 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 2: So did you wasn't just I mean other restaurant meals, 202 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 2: or were it you in school Monday to Friday and 203 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 2: then Sunday night, you want to Monday. 204 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,080 Speaker 3: Monday through Friday, we would sit at the table and 205 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 3: be served just my brother, sister and I the the 206 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:36,959 Speaker 3: rice and beans, and you know, we had another unusual thing, 207 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,439 Speaker 3: and we had a pantry in our house. 208 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: Just to show you how. 209 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 3: Irreverent we were about food. We had stacks and stacks 210 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 3: of spam and a can and when we would I 211 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,560 Speaker 3: would go for lunch. They would make to school. In 212 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 3: our lunch bags were spam sandwiches. Now they're disgusting spam, 213 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 3: but it's I happen to love that taste. It probably 214 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 3: tastes like dog food, if you like dog food. 215 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 2: When they entertained, would you be sort of like sitting 216 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 2: on the stairs watching these sparkling. 217 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,200 Speaker 3: Got it exactly, And you know, then there would be 218 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 3: the moment at the beginning of the party before the 219 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 3: adults really got hammered, and yeah, it got kind of wild. 220 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 3: You know, we'd be called down and we'd you know, 221 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,679 Speaker 3: my brother and I would have matching bathrobes, and my 222 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,360 Speaker 3: sister wore like one of those little caps you see 223 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:36,559 Speaker 3: in like dickens a nightgown, and we'd say good night, 224 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 3: and my brother and I would bow, and my sister 225 00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:41,079 Speaker 3: would curtsey, and the adults would go ooh and on. 226 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 3: It was a little spectacle that was terribly embarrassing to us. 227 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 1: You know. Years later, Dennis Hopper used to come to 228 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 1: our house. This is well before Easy Writer. 229 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,559 Speaker 3: And years later I'm doing a movie with Dennis and 230 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 3: it's after work and we're smoking a joint and he 231 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:01,720 Speaker 3: kind of looks off and he goes, I'm just thinking 232 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 3: about you kids coming down and bowing and curtsying to 233 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 3: us all. I think that was the saddest thing I ever. 234 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,960 Speaker 1: Saw in my whole life. And it was weird, you know. 235 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:15,719 Speaker 2: But where do you think that came from? Because I 236 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,200 Speaker 2: was just thinking your mother grew up on a branch 237 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,800 Speaker 2: and your father had left all that, So I wondered 238 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 2: where that. It's not as if they came from European 239 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:25,440 Speaker 2: run No. 240 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 3: But my father at this point in his life was 241 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,920 Speaker 3: very materialistic and very much of a sort of the 242 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 3: production designer of his life, with the right material things 243 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,320 Speaker 3: for the house. And I think he fashioned us on 244 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 3: the photographs of the royal family of Cecil Beaton. I 245 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 3: mean he would say as much. And he was a 246 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 3: fantastic photographer. He had a hostle blot and every summer 247 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 3: we would pose for these deadly serious Christmas card picks, 248 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:05,200 Speaker 3: these three glum looking children in suits and with this 249 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 3: sort of pastoral background and the art design in our 250 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 3: backyard and send them out as Christmas cards to families 251 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,959 Speaker 3: in New York, London, Los Angeles. 252 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 1: And they were beautiful. 253 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,200 Speaker 2: Did you ever go to other kids' houses and see 254 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 2: family like fridges and people sitting around? 255 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, parents and totally different, totally different kind of things 256 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 3: in about half, but other parents were equally sort of superficial, 257 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 3: you know, and their priority, particularly in that generation, their 258 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,440 Speaker 3: main focus was themselves, you know. They were not like 259 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,959 Speaker 3: the kind of parent I became in most every parent 260 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:50,600 Speaker 3: I know, where you just encourage every little thing they do, 261 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:52,600 Speaker 3: and you notice and you want to know where they 262 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 3: go and where you know, And. 263 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that. Do you have grandchildren yet? No, 264 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 2: that's really nice. 265 00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:58,200 Speaker 1: I do. 266 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:02,079 Speaker 2: And I always say is that the really great thing 267 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,120 Speaker 2: about having grandchildren is the children, but also just seeing 268 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,959 Speaker 2: your kids as parents And I just look at them 269 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 2: and I think they are. You know, I thought we 270 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,559 Speaker 2: were pretty good, but they are amazing. 271 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 3: One of the happiest things I was able to do 272 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 3: for my parents was give them a child. They loved 273 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 3: being grandparents. 274 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:25,840 Speaker 2: So maybe that skipped generate. They were better grandparents and. 275 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 1: Parents so much better. It was so much easier. You 276 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 1: have less responsibility. 277 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 3: And my father would just spoil my daughter, Hannah Rotten, 278 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 3: and she goes, listen kid. My dad always had a funny, 279 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 3: dark sense of humor. He goes, listen kid, when I cool, 280 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 3: I'm going to leave you so much money, which is 281 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 3: a terrible thing to tell a little kid, by the way, 282 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:52,000 Speaker 3: And my mother was my mother had ms, multiple scrosses, 283 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 3: and so she was unable to you know, she was 284 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,360 Speaker 3: in bed confined and could be moved to a wheelchair. 285 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,920 Speaker 3: But the look on her face when I brought my 286 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 3: daughter and I put her on the bed and my 287 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 3: daughter was, you know, an infant, but she recognized that 288 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:16,920 Speaker 3: this lady sitting up in bed was someone important and 289 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 3: she which she'd never done with anyone. 290 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 1: She just crawled to her and. 291 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 2: Did your parents they didn't like to cook or have 292 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,760 Speaker 2: a domestic life of food? Did they love food? Did 293 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,800 Speaker 2: you was your mother very did. She looks so elegant 294 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 2: in these I just think they like to drink, right, 295 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 2: they like to drink. Did they like to eat? 296 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 1: I don't think so. 297 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,680 Speaker 3: My father was you know, Irish Catholic, and I think 298 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 3: they ate the staple of you know whatever. Again more 299 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 3: the Irish cook would make they called cook what is 300 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 3: cook serving? And it was all like comfort food. I 301 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 3: know my dad loved meat loaf, you go on in. 302 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: Chicken pot pie. 303 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,000 Speaker 3: In fact, when when I was married to Hannah's mom 304 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,160 Speaker 3: and at our wedding, Dad said, I'm paying for the 305 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 3: whole thing. I'm going to take care of this. He 306 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 3: was very you know, proud and excited. And he told 307 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 3: the wedding planner that he hired he wanted chicken pot pie. 308 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:19,400 Speaker 3: And the wedding planner already had a chicken dish prepared, 309 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 3: and he shows the menu of what's going to be served, 310 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,280 Speaker 3: and he goes, where's my chicken pot pie? He went, well, 311 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,320 Speaker 3: it just seemed redundant because we have chicken pie art 312 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,520 Speaker 3: and he went, I said, I want a chicken fucking 313 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 3: pot pie. 314 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,240 Speaker 1: That's how much you love that? 315 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 2: Why not? 316 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what do you want? 317 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 2: You want? Yeah? Yeah, but you had did you get 318 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 2: boarding school? 319 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 1: I did? Yeah? 320 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 2: So was that a Wrencher going away? 321 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:42,280 Speaker 3: And it was his school very much based on on 322 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,160 Speaker 3: English boarding schools, you know, have no. 323 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:47,920 Speaker 2: Heat, bad food, and. 324 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 1: Bullying, terrible cruelty. There was corporal punishment. 325 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 2: Sorry for the British people here, but that is kind 326 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 2: of the ethos of yeah, I think it's better now maybe. 327 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 1: But that it does not. 328 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 3: But I mean we were literally flogged. There was a 329 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,560 Speaker 3: it was called where was it? It was in Massachusetts, 330 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 3: a little a town called Southborough, mass called Fay, which 331 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,160 Speaker 3: wasn't a lot of fun to go back to LA 332 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:11,879 Speaker 3: and come home from Fay. You know, there were children 333 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 3: as young as seven years old. I was eleven, and 334 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:19,679 Speaker 3: it was a novelty to be a kid from LA 335 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 3: to be going to school in Massachusetts, you know, at 336 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,960 Speaker 3: such a young age as well. But you know this, 337 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,680 Speaker 3: the food at that school was slop. You know, We're 338 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 3: all dressed in coats and ties for dinner and we 339 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:33,120 Speaker 3: couldn't eat. 340 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,880 Speaker 1: There was a ceremony before. 341 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:38,399 Speaker 3: We could eat, of some kind of homily would be said, 342 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:43,040 Speaker 3: and then we'd just eat and it just stuff ourselves. 343 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:45,399 Speaker 3: Just everybody ate like it was like being at a 344 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,639 Speaker 3: trough and if you put your elbow on the table, 345 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:51,240 Speaker 3: the headmaster at an enormous silver spoon. It must have 346 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 3: weighed about five pounds or something. And if you saw 347 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 3: a kid, you know, with his elbow on the table, 348 00:17:56,119 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 3: or he'd throw the spoon, throw it. And at one 349 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,399 Speaker 3: time hit a kid in the mouth and knocked his 350 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 3: tooth out. 351 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 2: The River Cafe, cafe, steps away from our restaurant, is 352 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 2: now open. In the morning an Italian breakfast with cornetti, 353 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:21,960 Speaker 2: chiambella and cristata from our pastry kitchen. In the afternoon, 354 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,800 Speaker 2: ice creamed coops and River Cafe classic desserts. Come in 355 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 2: the evening for cocktails with our resident pianist in the bar. 356 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:40,760 Speaker 2: No need to book, see you here, So let's go back. 357 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:44,640 Speaker 2: So you left home all domestic sort of domestic life 358 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:48,520 Speaker 2: at home and school? Did you did you go to college? 359 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 2: Did you go straight into film? 360 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,119 Speaker 1: So I was a bit of a discipline problem. I 361 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,639 Speaker 1: was kicked out, kicked out. I was kicked out of 362 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 1: tenth grade. 363 00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 3: And then I became an actor both uh and moved 364 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 3: to New York. But in tenth grade, No, I spent 365 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:08,439 Speaker 3: a year in Los Angeles before going, but and I 366 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 3: was held back a year also because I was. 367 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 1: Dyslexic. Poor student. 368 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, my husband's dyslexic. Yeah, can you do you spell? 369 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:17,720 Speaker 2: You can't spell? 370 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:23,040 Speaker 3: Or I have a terrible time with math. But I 371 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,760 Speaker 3: became a voracious reader once I was out of school. 372 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,360 Speaker 3: Once I wasn't And. 373 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 2: Also probably when you were in school. I don't know. 374 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:33,240 Speaker 2: My husband's much older than you that he was in school, 375 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 2: probably in the forties or whatever, and they didn't know 376 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,919 Speaker 2: what dyslexia was, so he was beaten because he couldn't 377 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 2: memorize it. They say, you have to learn this poem, 378 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,400 Speaker 2: and if you can't, then he was. 379 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,560 Speaker 1: Also I know just what he went through. 380 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 3: I was treated as you know, stupid, lazy, Yeah, mostly 381 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 3: stupid and and sort of mentally handicapped. And he had 382 00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:57,000 Speaker 3: to be I had to be held back a grade, 383 00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,320 Speaker 3: and you know, I get pitying looks or just be 384 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 3: called stupid. But you know, before then we did. I 385 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:08,439 Speaker 3: had one more you mentioned Europe. One of my mothers 386 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:12,760 Speaker 3: before she became you know, unable to walk, and she 387 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:18,000 Speaker 3: was quite healthy. When I was thirteen, my brother was 388 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:23,399 Speaker 3: eleven and my sister was eight, she took us to Italy. 389 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:27,120 Speaker 3: It was her dream and she wanted to show us. 390 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,240 Speaker 3: We went to Italy and England and France and we 391 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:36,760 Speaker 3: took the Michelangelo, the ocean liner, and there began our journey. 392 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 3: And there I realized, oh, my mother really does love food. 393 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 3: And she would take us to these restaurants and go, 394 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 3: oh my god, this is so good, that's so good. 395 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,760 Speaker 3: You know, I was, you know, a bit of a 396 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 3: you know, mischievous kid, and I would always kind of 397 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 3: sneak out. And when we were in Venice, I snuck 398 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,800 Speaker 3: out and I when everybody was asleep, I assumed, and 399 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 3: I met these girls and I told him I was thirteen, yeah, 400 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,359 Speaker 3: and I told him I was much older. And we 401 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,240 Speaker 3: kind of walked through the streets and the canals and 402 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:13,720 Speaker 3: I rescued them from some harassing Italian guys. And we're 403 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,959 Speaker 3: walking through and I think I told him I'm traveling 404 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,879 Speaker 3: on my own. I'm like much older. And all of 405 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 3: a sudden, we're in the one of the canals were in. 406 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 3: A boat passes by, it's a police boat and I hear. 407 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 1: Find nay Pein and the girls go, isn't that your name? 408 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,920 Speaker 1: And went, yeah, your day. 409 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,480 Speaker 2: I thought you was some Italian. 410 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,120 Speaker 3: No, no, it was my name, and my mother woke 411 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 3: up so he wasn't there, and she called the police 412 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 3: the Venetian place, and I got totally busted and I 413 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 3: had to get on the We all got into the 414 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,879 Speaker 3: thing and there's my mother at the dock practically with 415 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,439 Speaker 3: a rolling pin in her hand, and went, oh, so 416 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:56,560 Speaker 3: you're traveling with your mother. 417 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 1: I went, yeah. You know. 418 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,879 Speaker 3: Another memory I have of that place is she was 419 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:08,120 Speaker 3: dying to show us the Vatican and the Sistine Chapel and. 420 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:14,440 Speaker 1: The Michelangelo. And so we're in line. 421 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,680 Speaker 3: This is in the sixties, and she's wearing a mini 422 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 3: skirt as most women wore, and we're in line to 423 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 3: get the tickets and one of the guys, I forget 424 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 3: what they're called, but the guards with the hats and 425 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 3: the little swords there they one of them came over 426 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:33,080 Speaker 3: and shamed my mother about what she was wearing and 427 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 3: talked to her. Even though I didn't speak Italian. He 428 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,960 Speaker 3: talked to her like she was some you know, prostitute 429 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:43,359 Speaker 3: or something. I mean, my mother was mortified. So we 430 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:47,000 Speaker 3: went back to the hotel. She changed and her attitude 431 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,600 Speaker 3: by the time we went to the Vatican her attitude 432 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 3: about being a Catholic and being you know, proud of 433 00:22:55,960 --> 00:23:00,960 Speaker 3: showing us this had totally changed. We would see the 434 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,200 Speaker 3: displays of all the gold and the crown and she 435 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 3: would just say, this was all stolen from poor people 436 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 3: gave donations to buy this ridiculous extravagance, and I think 437 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 3: a part of her, you know, lost her faith. 438 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 2: So her father and Mexican mother were Catholic. She was 439 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,679 Speaker 2: raised as a Catholic, so she did have I mean 440 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 2: to tell she did wanting to expose her children to 441 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:32,439 Speaker 2: Europe and choose the restaurants and give you to the 442 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,560 Speaker 2: party going. I mean there was the bar that was 443 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 2: very different. 444 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:38,200 Speaker 1: Than my father. You think that was oh yeah, she 445 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:38,879 Speaker 1: was not. 446 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:44,360 Speaker 3: You know, my father was the the ringleader of gathering 447 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,520 Speaker 3: of who's coming to the parties and where we're going 448 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 3: to go, and the emphasis on celebrity, and my mother 449 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,359 Speaker 3: wasn't really like that. She went along with it, but 450 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,640 Speaker 3: when they divorced, that was one of the main reasons. 451 00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 3: She just didn't want to be the hostess social light, 452 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 3: you know anymore. And you know, when they divorced, my 453 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 3: father had to do some real soul searching, and he 454 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,880 Speaker 3: loved my mother, and he called her his wife right 455 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 3: all the way through decades after the divorce, and all 456 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,439 Speaker 3: of his priorities changed, you know, and he went he 457 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,200 Speaker 3: lost all of his money, He couldn't get a job 458 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 3: anymore in the movie business that he loved, and he'd 459 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:27,680 Speaker 3: burned every bridge, you know, from drinking. And he drove 460 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:32,080 Speaker 3: up the coast in a little Ford automobile, used to 461 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,919 Speaker 3: have a Mercedes that he treasured. His car broke down 462 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:38,399 Speaker 3: in a little town in Oregon and he lived in 463 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:42,000 Speaker 3: a cabin in Oregon for a year, got sober and 464 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:48,080 Speaker 3: wrote these long, single space typed letters to his children. 465 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,920 Speaker 3: And they were like workshops for him to find his voice. 466 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:55,720 Speaker 3: And that's really the you know, the groundwork for how 467 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 3: he became a writer and shed all of that superficiality, 468 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:04,320 Speaker 3: and you know, his priorities completely changed, and he really 469 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,959 Speaker 3: found himself. He found his voice and what his purpose 470 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,280 Speaker 3: was great and became a great writer. 471 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,840 Speaker 2: If you liked listening to Ruthie's Table four, would you 472 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 2: please make sure to rate and review the podcast on 473 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 2: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get 474 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:40,440 Speaker 2: your podcasts. Thank you. Did you ever enjoy food? Was 475 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,240 Speaker 2: there ever a time when you were eating something and 476 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,760 Speaker 2: you thought this is delicious. 477 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:45,680 Speaker 1: I want to tell you the. 478 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:49,239 Speaker 3: Exact time I embraced food, because now I'll tell you 479 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,760 Speaker 3: exactly when in nineteen eighty I did. 480 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,920 Speaker 1: I was in a movie that was shooting in Poland. 481 00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:55,760 Speaker 2: What was it. 482 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 3: It was called The Wall, based on John Hershey's book 483 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 3: about the Warsaw Ghetto, and I played a young ghetto fighter. 484 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 3: Rosanna Arquette was in this movie. Tom Conti was in 485 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,680 Speaker 3: this movie who became a lifelong friend, Diane West. 486 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,679 Speaker 1: And we were there during the. 487 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,399 Speaker 3: Olympics in Moscow, and that was the year that United 488 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:21,399 Speaker 3: States boycott it because of their involvement Russia's involvement in 489 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 3: Afghanistan nineteen eighty and so all the food that would 490 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 3: have been anything that mood or bleat was sent to 491 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:35,760 Speaker 3: Moscow to feed the people at the Olympics. So we 492 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 3: were practically starving to death. And I mean literally. Rosanna 493 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:44,960 Speaker 3: Arquette and Diane Weist I passed them on my way 494 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,360 Speaker 3: to the set. When they weren't working. They would wear 495 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:51,919 Speaker 3: babushkas without any irony involved. They looked like peasants and 496 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 3: be waiting in line for a black market because we 497 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 3: heard bananas were being sold there and the importance of food. 498 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,600 Speaker 3: So each we would gather enough food from the black 499 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 3: market in order to make a meal in one of 500 00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:10,000 Speaker 3: our little tinker dressing room cavern that had an oven 501 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:14,760 Speaker 3: and stuff, and Tom County would make this incredible meal 502 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 3: of all found things that we anybody on their day off, 503 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,760 Speaker 3: they had to come up with something, so we'd find bread, 504 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,240 Speaker 3: we'd find this, and these were the best meals I 505 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:27,880 Speaker 3: ever had. So when that's when I realized food actually 506 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 3: tastes good, I didn't realize it tasted good. I was 507 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:36,160 Speaker 3: twenty three, twenty two something like that. So when we 508 00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:39,640 Speaker 3: it came time to leave the country, also went into 509 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:46,800 Speaker 3: martial law. Like Valensa was the strikes were happening. It 510 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:48,880 Speaker 3: was a very intense time to be there, and we 511 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,640 Speaker 3: were held for over two months because of the conditions. 512 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:53,440 Speaker 2: We couldn't get out. 513 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:54,360 Speaker 1: We could not get out. 514 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:55,639 Speaker 2: Was this an American production? 515 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,280 Speaker 3: It was an American production, and so we finally got out. 516 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,919 Speaker 3: We're on the lot Airlines and it's changed. We're changing 517 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,720 Speaker 3: planes in Frankfurt and we all have are going to 518 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:11,080 Speaker 3: different destinations. We have to walk to wherever our destinations are, 519 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 3: But in the along the way to our gate, we're 520 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,840 Speaker 3: all these different food places, and all of us went, 521 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,760 Speaker 3: oh my god, they have pizza overy, Oh my god, 522 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 3: there's oh we have and we all missed our flights. 523 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:24,440 Speaker 2: You missed it. 524 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,200 Speaker 1: Every one of us missed our flights. 525 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:30,359 Speaker 3: We just ate and ate, and ever since then, I 526 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:34,119 Speaker 3: understood food, and I understood pasta in particular. 527 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 2: And did so when you went to New York age 528 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,840 Speaker 2: twenty three, and you know, did you have your own apartment? 529 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 2: Did you just eat out? 530 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,840 Speaker 3: So I got my first apartment and we went to 531 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 3: the neighborhood places. It was on twentieth just West twentieth Street. 532 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 3: It was in an area that at that time it's 533 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,960 Speaker 3: the flatter and district. Now it's terribly trending. 534 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:54,800 Speaker 1: But it was all. 535 00:28:56,320 --> 00:29:00,480 Speaker 3: Warehouses and that made you know, a cardboard box, and 536 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 3: there was they were. 537 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:05,640 Speaker 1: Always manufacturing things. At night. It was very noisy. 538 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,720 Speaker 3: You'd hear these machines and stuff, and it was a 539 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 3: desolate street. But for some reason, I made my own 540 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:16,400 Speaker 3: clam chowder. Oh that's and I had like a croc 541 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 3: pot and I would make clam chowder that would last 542 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,600 Speaker 3: for I have to say, I'm amazed. As I'm telling 543 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,360 Speaker 3: you this, I can believe this. You're bringing up all 544 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:30,040 Speaker 3: these sensory food memories. But yes, that would be like 545 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:30,840 Speaker 3: my dish. 546 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 2: That's ambitious. You were acting. At the time I was 547 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,480 Speaker 2: acting acting. Money was money in Isshoot. 548 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:38,080 Speaker 1: Money was always an issue. 549 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:39,840 Speaker 2: But you didn't work. And another you never have you 550 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,000 Speaker 2: ever worked in a restaurant? 551 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 1: I have. 552 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:45,640 Speaker 3: My first job was at a restaurant called Joe Allen's, 553 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:50,479 Speaker 3: of course, you know, very famous theater place. And I 554 00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:53,600 Speaker 3: met Joe and had my interview with Joe. 555 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,440 Speaker 2: And he came to the River Cafe in the early days. 556 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:59,720 Speaker 3: I bet he did when he died about two three 557 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:02,960 Speaker 3: years ago, but he was well into his nineties then too. 558 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:07,200 Speaker 3: And so I had my meeting with Joe, and I 559 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,000 Speaker 3: think I mentioned something about what I could lie without 560 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:10,720 Speaker 3: my pulse raising. 561 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,600 Speaker 1: I told her I had all this experience and uh 562 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 1: and uh. 563 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,640 Speaker 3: He saw me waiting on a table and somebody asked, 564 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,760 Speaker 3: can I have some oil and vinegar for my dressing? 565 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 3: And I took the bowl, I took the salad from 566 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 3: their plate and put the oil and vinegar on in 567 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,880 Speaker 3: the kitchen, and Joe went, You've never. 568 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 1: Waited a day in your life. 569 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,480 Speaker 3: You bring out the oil and victory, you don't put 570 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:40,360 Speaker 3: it on for them, I thought, so he fired me 571 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:41,920 Speaker 3: very quickly, but I stayed. 572 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:43,440 Speaker 1: I did. 573 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 3: In fact, when I became an actor, I would go 574 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:47,520 Speaker 3: to Joe Allen's all the time, and I had a 575 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:51,320 Speaker 3: charge account there and and we became very very friendly. 576 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:51,640 Speaker 2: That was. 577 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 3: From my lying and faking it. I worked at a place, 578 00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 3: mostly at a place called Beefsteak Charlie's. 579 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,600 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, where's that? 580 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:02,360 Speaker 1: It was a chain. 581 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 3: I worked to the one on the Upper West Side 582 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,680 Speaker 3: and it had all you could drink sang gria and. 583 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:09,360 Speaker 1: A salad bar. 584 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,960 Speaker 3: Salad bars were all the new rage then, and it 585 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:16,360 Speaker 3: was pretty easy to wait on people, but they would 586 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:18,320 Speaker 3: because there was endless sang gria. 587 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,680 Speaker 1: You'd be waiting on total. 588 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,680 Speaker 3: Drunks by the end of the night, and they would 589 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,440 Speaker 3: try to run out without tipping you, and I'd have 590 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,920 Speaker 3: to chase them down the street run. 591 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 2: You know, that's very Do you think you learned anything 592 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,240 Speaker 2: from working in a restaurant. 593 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:37,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, I certainly learned people skills, and you know, I 594 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:39,479 Speaker 3: kind of learned to fake it till you make it 595 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:40,120 Speaker 3: kind of thing. 596 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,840 Speaker 2: So living in New York working in the restaurant. Was 597 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,720 Speaker 2: there a time then you realize you could be full 598 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:48,440 Speaker 2: time as an actor and not have to supplant here. Yeah. 599 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 3: That was my ambition where I felt I'd made it 600 00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,640 Speaker 3: was to be able to support myself as an actor 601 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:59,920 Speaker 3: and most importantly take cabs after two in the morning, Yeah, 602 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 3: instead of being in subways. 603 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,640 Speaker 1: And then I could take a cab whenever I wanted. 604 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:04,560 Speaker 1: That was a bar. 605 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,920 Speaker 2: Did you live a different life of going to good 606 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,440 Speaker 2: restaurants and drinking good wine and drinking Was that one 607 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,640 Speaker 2: of your priorities or did you? 608 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 1: No? 609 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,920 Speaker 2: No, No, I get the taxi thing. I really do, 610 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:19,479 Speaker 2: because I remember, you know, at even actually quite at 611 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,040 Speaker 2: an early age, I would skip out other things and 612 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:22,719 Speaker 2: take a taxi. 613 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:23,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. 614 00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:24,680 Speaker 2: I still do. Yeah. 615 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 3: And then and then your your your next you know, 616 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,520 Speaker 3: bar is a little higher to be able to take 617 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,760 Speaker 3: a woman out to a nice restaurant and let her 618 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,120 Speaker 3: order whatever she wants and not have to worry about, 619 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,600 Speaker 3: you know, if she's going to order it too much. 620 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,560 Speaker 3: And you know, your stakes just sort of get higher 621 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,520 Speaker 3: and higher as you as you go. But then I'm 622 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,680 Speaker 3: fortunate enough to be able to go to you know, 623 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,960 Speaker 3: my favorite restaurants and eat and stay in lovely hotels. 624 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:56,200 Speaker 3: And you know, there was a restaurant in Los Angeles 625 00:32:56,200 --> 00:33:01,320 Speaker 3: that the owner just died recently, Dsolvano, that had really 626 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:05,160 Speaker 3: great food. And I new Silvano, and he was a 627 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:08,320 Speaker 3: bit of a hustler, but I ate there on a 628 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:10,880 Speaker 3: regular basis. I love the food and I love the wine. 629 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 3: And I always trusted, you know, whenever I said, tell 630 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:15,600 Speaker 3: me what kind of wine to get, and they were 631 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:17,720 Speaker 3: just a great staff. 632 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,840 Speaker 1: I ate there quite a bit. 633 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,720 Speaker 2: When you work, when you're doing a movie, when you're 634 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 2: acting or you're directing, Directors very often don't like to 635 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 2: stop for lunch. What do you feel about food? 636 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,640 Speaker 3: And I cannot eat lunch if I'm working, whether I'm 637 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:37,800 Speaker 3: acting or directing, I have a food hangover. I get 638 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 3: really tired, in lethargic. So I will either skip or graze, 639 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:46,680 Speaker 3: you know, lunch, just to keep my energy up. I 640 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,080 Speaker 3: think it's something to do with my metabolism, you know, 641 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:52,440 Speaker 3: even after a big meal of dinners, you know, which 642 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:54,880 Speaker 3: will invariably be a big meal of dinner, especially if 643 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:59,520 Speaker 3: I skip lunch, I will just I could eat endlessly, endlessly, 644 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:02,520 Speaker 3: the hungary er I am the more I eat, the 645 00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 3: better it tastes. 646 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:05,920 Speaker 2: But working wise you don't. But you have to, don't 647 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,000 Speaker 2: they do? They do make you stop at lunchtime. Yes, 648 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:12,200 Speaker 2: West was saying that he would. He really mess and 649 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 2: just doesn't like to stop for lunch. But he tried 650 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,080 Speaker 2: giving everyone soup, and then the crew said, you know 651 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,120 Speaker 2: a way, you know, we love to eat. 652 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,319 Speaker 3: I learned that lesson the hard way. I had the 653 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:25,040 Speaker 3: first movie I re produced, I was twenty three years old. 654 00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,160 Speaker 3: It was called Chili Scenes of Winter. It's based on 655 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:30,320 Speaker 3: a novel by and Beaty. It was directed by Joan mckensilver, 656 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,640 Speaker 3: and I had yet to really work as an actor, 657 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,920 Speaker 3: but I was able to produce a movie for United 658 00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:42,680 Speaker 3: Artists a big studio and Joan lick and Silver directed it. 659 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:46,160 Speaker 3: And my two partners, all three of us, were struggling actors, 660 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,200 Speaker 3: but managed to get a movie made. We optioned this 661 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:53,000 Speaker 3: book directly from the author, and we were, you know, 662 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,040 Speaker 3: had kind of really no idea what we were doing. 663 00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,000 Speaker 3: We knew we had to save money of a certain 664 00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:02,200 Speaker 3: budget and stay within a budge, so we got the cheapest. 665 00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,239 Speaker 3: We're in Salt Lake City before we came to the 666 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,600 Speaker 3: sound stages, in Culver City. We got the cheapest catering 667 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:16,919 Speaker 3: company we could find, and the food was terrible. Now 668 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,319 Speaker 3: at that time I had no relationship to food, you know, 669 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:23,799 Speaker 3: And on the third day, the crew threatened to walk 670 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:28,280 Speaker 3: off the picture, and I realized I made a terrible mistake, 671 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,680 Speaker 3: well three of us did, and that how important food is, 672 00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:36,040 Speaker 3: and that it shows their value, how much you value them, 673 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,759 Speaker 3: and how much you value their work. And they're each 674 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:43,319 Speaker 3: individual talents that they bring to a production by how much, 675 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,400 Speaker 3: how well you feed them, how good the food is. 676 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,200 Speaker 3: And you know, having been on many movies set since, 677 00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:53,280 Speaker 3: when a great meal is served in the catering company, 678 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:57,120 Speaker 3: it affects the entire mood of every single person in production. 679 00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:01,040 Speaker 2: The trajectory of food and happiness are lonely or neglect 680 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,720 Speaker 2: or involvement from your family. Also is to do with grief. 681 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,000 Speaker 2: And you know, my son died when he was twenty six, 682 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:12,719 Speaker 2: and I remember that when we were upstairs. I just 683 00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:15,520 Speaker 2: come home and my husband we all gathered and I 684 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,279 Speaker 2: turned to one of my sons and I said, put 685 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:22,000 Speaker 2: tomato sauce on, because I need to smell food cooking. 686 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:26,800 Speaker 2: I need to smell something about nurture. And our home 687 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,600 Speaker 2: and when everything was destroyed, and I know you had 688 00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:33,439 Speaker 2: the tragedy of your sister, and you know you say 689 00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,879 Speaker 2: in your book that people bought food. Do you have 690 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,239 Speaker 2: any sense of what that was like? Did your mother 691 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:40,920 Speaker 2: stop eating or did you well have food? 692 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:45,600 Speaker 3: You know, at the end, there was that time that 693 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 3: it was very common, you know, with people during the 694 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,320 Speaker 3: periods of grief. She was on life support for five days, 695 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:58,960 Speaker 3: and then the weeks after, lovely friends and family would 696 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,920 Speaker 3: always come up with a dish and all different kinds, 697 00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 3: and and there was this there's this one woman who 698 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:13,000 Speaker 3: brought a meat loaf and and we just love this 699 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:17,320 Speaker 3: meat love, We just it was so comforting. And everyone 700 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,719 Speaker 3: thought that the woman was a friend of the other. 701 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,640 Speaker 3: I thought she was a friend of my mother's and 702 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:27,880 Speaker 3: dad thought she was a friend of us. And and finally, 703 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:30,279 Speaker 3: after like the fourth day of this meat loaf, we. 704 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:34,120 Speaker 1: Just went, who is she? She friend of yours? 705 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:36,719 Speaker 3: And then we realized none of us knew who the 706 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:40,440 Speaker 3: hell she was, and she was taking she was answering 707 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,799 Speaker 3: the phone. She was we still don't know, And my 708 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,879 Speaker 3: mom just went, doesn't matter. 709 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,080 Speaker 1: She makes a hell of a meat loaf, and uh 710 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,120 Speaker 1: so I don't know, and you never found out. We 711 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:52,040 Speaker 1: never really found out. 712 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:55,120 Speaker 3: I'm sure it was a friend of someone that knew something, 713 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:59,520 Speaker 3: but she was so kind and it was so comforting, 714 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 3: you know. And then you know, a year later, there 715 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,680 Speaker 3: was a there was a trial for she was murdered, 716 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,440 Speaker 3: and there was a trial for her killer that we attended. 717 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:15,400 Speaker 3: And the custom then was to eat on TV trays, 718 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:20,839 Speaker 3: watching the the events that we had just lived through 719 00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:23,120 Speaker 3: on that day in the courtroom play out on the 720 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:26,560 Speaker 3: evening news, and we would just my mother would be 721 00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:31,520 Speaker 3: in bed with Trey in her lap, you know, my 722 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,440 Speaker 3: father would be sitting in her wheelchair with a TV 723 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:38,400 Speaker 3: tray and eating, and we would just silently watch television, 724 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:43,680 Speaker 3: and then after that, you know, put on a movie. 725 00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:46,480 Speaker 3: We were raised on movies, and then we'd end up 726 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:50,360 Speaker 3: just watching Oh, What's on. It was a cable, early 727 00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:54,000 Speaker 3: cable called the Z Channel, and they showed movies without interruption, 728 00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:55,680 Speaker 3: and oh what's on? Z? 729 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:56,200 Speaker 1: What's on? 730 00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,400 Speaker 3: And then we'd watch Harold and Maud or you know 731 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,960 Speaker 3: some they were just cheer us enormously. 732 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:06,400 Speaker 2: I would like to talk about your book. When you're writing, 733 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:10,120 Speaker 2: do you eat and what is your writing routine? 734 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:15,360 Speaker 3: My writing routine was compulsive, you know, being a first book, 735 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:19,480 Speaker 3: I just could not stop. I couldn't keep away from 736 00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,280 Speaker 3: my office. And if I was on a movie set shooting, 737 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,120 Speaker 3: I would run back to my dressing room between sentences, 738 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,440 Speaker 3: you know, finish up where I left off, which is 739 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,200 Speaker 3: why I didn't eat very much. 740 00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,440 Speaker 1: I was actually I smoked. 741 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,839 Speaker 3: I smoked, and I paste, and I made coffee after 742 00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,840 Speaker 3: coffee after coffee, and you know, I lived in a 743 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,839 Speaker 3: very unhealthy you know, physically, I didn't take good care 744 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,600 Speaker 3: of myself in terms of you know, eating nutritionally. 745 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:45,960 Speaker 1: I was sort of wired. 746 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,240 Speaker 3: And you know, I felt the presence of my family 747 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:50,640 Speaker 3: so much when I was doing it. 748 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,640 Speaker 1: It's like having company, you know. And I just saw. 749 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,520 Speaker 3: Sort of the less I ate and the more coffee 750 00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:02,120 Speaker 3: I had, the memories became more and more vivid in 751 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:08,600 Speaker 3: place and objects and time and conversation. So so that's 752 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:12,160 Speaker 3: how we could like write as if it was a novel, 753 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:16,080 Speaker 3: you know, of what people said and how they you know, 754 00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:21,279 Speaker 3: how they talked, and each voice was completely different, you know, 755 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,320 Speaker 3: different my mother talked than my father and my childhood friends, 756 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:28,520 Speaker 3: and so it was you know, right while I wrote 757 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:32,920 Speaker 3: about you know, very sad periods in our family's life. 758 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:37,040 Speaker 3: There were also really hilarious things that also happened, and 759 00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,239 Speaker 3: so you know, our family was always. 760 00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:44,279 Speaker 1: The worst things got the harder. We'd laugh, you know, not. 761 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:49,640 Speaker 3: Almost in reaction to it, you know, And that was 762 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,680 Speaker 3: I think, you know, I attribute that to my mother's 763 00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,520 Speaker 3: sense of humor on her on her Mexican side, and 764 00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:59,560 Speaker 3: my father's dark sense of humor on his Irish Catholic side. 765 00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,280 Speaker 1: It really saved us, you know, our humor. 766 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:09,840 Speaker 3: But eating, I think I would, I think I would. 767 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:11,600 Speaker 3: When it was time to finally go to bed, I'd 768 00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:15,160 Speaker 3: always leave something I wanted to look forward to continuing. 769 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:19,040 Speaker 3: I then go in the fridge and I'd take out 770 00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:24,560 Speaker 3: one of those frozen burritos and I'd defrost it and 771 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,319 Speaker 3: I'd pour salce on it, and I'd eat it and 772 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,040 Speaker 3: wake up a little fatter in the morning. 773 00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,880 Speaker 2: Actually, Fishers said to be asking what's in his fridge? 774 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,879 Speaker 2: He did actually say that to me. But I think 775 00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:39,600 Speaker 2: that I would ask everyone listening to this to go 776 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:42,280 Speaker 2: to wherever you buy your books and read the Friday 777 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,960 Speaker 2: Afternoon Club. It is something that has been one of 778 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,799 Speaker 2: the most beautiful experiences for me to read it and 779 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,200 Speaker 2: to talk to you. And before we stop, I ask 780 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:55,359 Speaker 2: everyone one question, which is fecif food is interesting, if 781 00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:58,520 Speaker 2: it's exciting, if it's something you want to explore or 782 00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:02,319 Speaker 2: take an adventure with. It's also comfort. And so your 783 00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,600 Speaker 2: book is a lot about comfort and what we need. 784 00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:10,120 Speaker 2: And I was wondering that in times of comfort, Griffin done, 785 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,520 Speaker 2: what food would you go to if you need comfort? 786 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,600 Speaker 1: Well, certainly rice and beans. 787 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:18,959 Speaker 2: Okay, let's end on that. 788 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:21,080 Speaker 1: That's I mean, I never get a cigarette. 789 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:24,480 Speaker 2: Everyone, I have to say that it is. Usually the 790 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,360 Speaker 2: answer is something from the childhood. Have peanut butter and 791 00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:31,279 Speaker 2: jelly sandwich you had with your mother or beans, rice 792 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:34,239 Speaker 2: and beans. Let's go have some. Thank you so much. 793 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:35,120 Speaker 1: Thank you. 794 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:36,719 Speaker 2: That's good. 795 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:45,200 Speaker 3: Thank you for listening to Ruthie's Table four in partnership 796 00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:45,920 Speaker 3: with Montclair