1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:04,480 Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club Morning. 2 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 2: Everybody is d j Envy, Jess hilarious, Charlamagne the guy. 3 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,440 Speaker 2: We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 2: in the building. 5 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,160 Speaker 1: Yes, indeed, Melanie Fiona Welcome. 6 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:13,600 Speaker 3: Hello. 7 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 4: Oh you were a long time no see man, I'm 8 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 4: so happy back. Why is it so cold? Tell me no, 9 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,560 Speaker 4: not in here. I'm of your streets. Yes, seventy eighty 10 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,400 Speaker 4: threes a couple days ago. Why can we keep that 11 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:27,960 Speaker 4: same energy? 12 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: But you're not used to call weather no more. 13 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 4: No, no, no, I'm in California. 14 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:35,040 Speaker 3: My Canadian blood is it's gone. It's not, no, it's 15 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 3: never gone. But the Caribbean blood is living. She's thriving. 16 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 5: Now how has it been for a woman from Toronto 17 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 5: living in uh La? Nor in the Kendrick Lamar. 18 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 1: Starts right up. 19 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 3: Wow, wow, wow, welcome active active Okay, you know I'm 20 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:50,519 Speaker 3: very Canadian in La. 21 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 4: That's my position. 22 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 1: You're very day yeah like that. How are you doing? 23 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 1: How are you doing? We haven't seen form in a 24 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,280 Speaker 1: long time. How is everything? 25 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 4: You know what life is? 26 00:00:59,720 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 1: Blood? 27 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 3: I feel very you know, blessed to be here again. 28 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 3: Talking about new music, motherhood, it's a full scope journey 29 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:10,040 Speaker 3: for me. I'm just like I said, I'm just blessed 30 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 3: to have gas in the tank, still have creativity, to 31 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 3: still have opportunity, and I'm just doing everything that I 32 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 3: love to do. 33 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 4: So you know, I'm happy. I'm grateful. Congratulations you got married. 34 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 4: I did. 35 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,759 Speaker 3: I still think four years ago was recently four five 36 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 3: years ago, so it is. 37 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 4: It is recently. 38 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 3: And we've been together for like, you know, thirteen years now, 39 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,319 Speaker 3: so it's twelve I don't know, don't quote me a 40 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 3: long time, but you know it, it's getting married. Except 41 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 3: we did it in the pandemic, and that was really 42 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,559 Speaker 3: just a testament to making it happen. 43 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,119 Speaker 4: However you got to make it happen. 44 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 3: We had planned a huge wedding, just decided, you know what, 45 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 3: we're just going to walk down, get this done, and 46 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 3: it was really one of the best decisions we made. 47 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, it's interesting people always talk about during 48 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 5: the pandemic called folks got divorced because they realized that 49 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 5: they didn't really like the significant other time. 50 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 1: But then there's the other side too, like your story. 51 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, we we did realize in that year. We were like, 52 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 3: I really do like you. I mean, we'd already had 53 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 3: a kid at that point, but we were like, I 54 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 3: really like you, like, let's do this. 55 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 4: It actually made us closer. 56 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,920 Speaker 3: And then actually at the end of twenty twenty three, 57 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 3: we had like a ceremony in our backyard just for 58 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 3: our family, because we didn't have any family when we 59 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 3: did it. 60 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 4: So that was really special too. 61 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,639 Speaker 3: You know, I had my dad walking me down the 62 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 3: all I got to wear the dress I never wore, 63 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 3: so it was it was special. And I think that 64 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 3: that's kind of what the last few years of my 65 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 3: life has taught me, is that you just got to 66 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 3: make the moments like we don't know if tomorrow's promised, 67 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,079 Speaker 3: so you got to say yes today and that. 68 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 4: And is that what the scope of say yes is? 69 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely so as the journey of life goes, you know, 70 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 3: I think a lot of people talk about saying no 71 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,239 Speaker 3: a lot, you know, we say no how to set boundaries. 72 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 3: I had to do a lot of that in my 73 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:47,280 Speaker 3: life throughout my career, and I think that everything remarkable 74 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,920 Speaker 3: that I've really learned, that I've seen that I can 75 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 3: do has come on the other side of saying yes, 76 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 3: you know, saying yes to overcoming fears, saying yes to 77 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 3: the love and the life that you want and desire, 78 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 3: saying yes to the people who show up for you 79 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 3: and say how can I be down and how can 80 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 3: I help? But obviously with discernment that takes work. So 81 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 3: I just want people to hear say Yes as a 82 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,519 Speaker 3: musical project, but also to have affirmative language in their life. 83 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,080 Speaker 3: Say yes, say yes to you, Say yes to whatever 84 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 3: it is that you want, and go for it. 85 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 1: Deshonda rohmas book influenced this. 86 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 4: You know, it's so funny. Yes, I was reading it. Yeah, absolutely, 87 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 4: Yeah cool. 88 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 2: Thirteen years off the grid? What you've been doing for 89 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 2: thirteen years? Last time we seen off the grid? 90 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,120 Speaker 1: Off the grid? You know? 91 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 4: But you know what I was, I really wasn't. I 92 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 4: really wasn't. 93 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 3: I was outside in different ways, you know. I was 94 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 3: making a life as well as a living. I continue 95 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 3: to do shows. I am a part of a podcast 96 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 3: now called The Mama's Dan. It's a motherhood podcast, a collective. 97 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 3: I just started developing motherhood community and initiatives. 98 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 4: You know. 99 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 3: I decided to expand my wingspan and just really step 100 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 3: into everything I could possibly do with my voice, all 101 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 3: while figuring out how I wanted to continue to do music. 102 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 3: You know, the industry is one one siloed experience of this. 103 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 3: And you know, after everything that I had went through 104 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 3: the peak of success, enjoying that, having difficulties with my voice, 105 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 3: like just all these things, it really made me ask myself, 106 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 3: how do I want to live and create for the 107 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,560 Speaker 3: rest of my life. And so that took some shifting, 108 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 3: That took some refocusing, That took some severing conversations and 109 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 3: relationships and just going independent, you know, and really just 110 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 3: figuring out how I want to live my life. And 111 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 3: so you need experience, you need to love and learn 112 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 3: and live and make new music and get inspiration for 113 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 3: all of that. So I think a lot of people, 114 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 3: especially in the music industry, we live in this space 115 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 3: or an entertainment where you feel like there's this clock 116 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,279 Speaker 3: ticking on you, you know, this clock ticking in The 117 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,360 Speaker 3: only clock I'm on is God's clock. If I'm alive 118 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 3: and I have another opportunity, I will show up when 119 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,599 Speaker 3: I am called to show up and when I have 120 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 3: something to say, when I have something to offer, and 121 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 3: I feel like I'm in that space now. And so 122 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 3: my mom for myself and for anyone out there is 123 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 3: take your time. It's yours to take. Like, we don't 124 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 3: work on anybody else's clock. So, you know, I just 125 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,720 Speaker 3: feel grateful that in all that time, I've still been 126 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:15,239 Speaker 3: able to reach the fans, continue to build community, continue 127 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 3: to build fan base, and like I said, just have 128 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,040 Speaker 3: more products and creativity to put out. 129 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,479 Speaker 4: So, you know, thirteen years to still have people checking 130 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 4: for you. 131 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,159 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a blessing because some people nobody's calling for them, 132 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 3: you know, and God bless those people because they don't 133 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 3: know how they're going to work or what else they 134 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 3: can do. So in that space, I figured out what 135 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 3: else I can do and what else I can create. 136 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: Now you mentioned your voice, Orry jessin what happened with 137 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:36,560 Speaker 1: your voice? 138 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 3: So right after the MF Life came out, I remember 139 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 3: it was just off the Grammys. Everything was just at 140 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,479 Speaker 3: the peak of success for me, and I started having 141 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 3: trouble with my voice and I couldn't sing for like 142 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 3: more than thirty minutes. 143 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 4: You know, I have the ballads, Yes you do. 144 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 3: She has to sing all the time up here, and 145 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,600 Speaker 3: so that was a really terrifying place to be at 146 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 3: because I had never had any voice issues. 147 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 4: So I started to see all these specialists. 148 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 3: They were all like, there's nothing wrong with their vocal cords, 149 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 3: nothing wrong with their vocal cords. And it was one 150 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 3: doctor that said, what kind of a year have you had? 151 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 3: And it was just a floodgate of emotions because nobody 152 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,479 Speaker 3: had asked me how are you. I had just come 153 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 3: off of a really bad breakup. I had moved states 154 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 3: and cities. I had had this extreme disparity in a 155 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 3: contrast of like high and low that I was experiencing, 156 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 3: and it was literally all energetic. I was just blocked 157 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 3: in my throat chakra. Literally I had to go for 158 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 3: energetic healing acupuncture. I just started to seek alternative methods. 159 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 3: And that was really the place where I started to 160 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,920 Speaker 3: have to really recognize if I wanted to live happily 161 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 3: in my purpose, I had to be mindful with my purpose. 162 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 4: I had to be protective of my purpose. 163 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 3: I had to find peace and set boundaries and really 164 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 3: start to define how I wanted to move through my 165 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 3: life and my art. So I remember, I just went 166 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 3: for a few sessions, started to be really mindful, and 167 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 3: I was back on tour for six weeks with Mary J. 168 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 4: Blige and DiAngelo with no voice issues after that. Wow, 169 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:05,679 Speaker 4: So it was just stress. 170 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 3: It was just stress and tension. And you know, there's 171 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 3: Louise Hayes, the body keeps the score, like we are 172 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 3: energy and we hold everything that we go through. This 173 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 3: is trauma, This our conversations, our pain points. And you 174 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 3: don't understand why sometimes we have progressive and consistent ailments 175 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 3: and things like that, and a lot of it is 176 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 3: from the stress and the trauma that we've been through 177 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 3: in our lives. So I really encourage people to approach 178 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 3: their life from a very holistic standpoint. Don't be so 179 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 3: close mind to think that it's just one thing we are. 180 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 3: We can actually be responsible for our own healing as well. 181 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, I completely agree, And I'm wondering, like, over the 182 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,560 Speaker 5: last thirteen years, did you take a break from music 183 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 5: because you were kind of like rediscovering yourself. 184 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 3: So, yeah, it's a little bit of all of it. 185 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 3: It's it's you know, discovering myself in motherhood, in womanhood, 186 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 3: in an independent space, you know, stepping away from the 187 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 3: big machine of things a little bit, going and choosing 188 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 3: to go independent. A lot of that requires time, you know, 189 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 3: and more time than we think, Like we think a 190 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 3: lot of these things just happen overnight, you know, especially 191 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 3: when you got legal stuff involved. 192 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 4: Oh that could take a long time, and some of 193 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 4: it did, you know. 194 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 3: But also at the same time, I just really was 195 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 3: enjoying the presence of my moments of life, you know, 196 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:23,000 Speaker 3: being present for my son in the first three years 197 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 3: after having him, because I was working on an album 198 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 3: that never came out at that time, but that you know, 199 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 3: entrance into motherhood really made me say, I think I 200 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,320 Speaker 3: need to reshift some things in my life. But during 201 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,560 Speaker 3: that time I was able to be present with my child. 202 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 3: So it was a lot of rediscovery. It was a 203 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:45,199 Speaker 3: lot of shifting. It was a lot of living, you know, 204 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:48,560 Speaker 3: and at a pace for myself in my family, which 205 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 3: was really healthy for me. 206 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. 207 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,439 Speaker 3: You had sat down and did an interview with be 208 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:55,760 Speaker 3: et wh You were talking about the sanity of moms 209 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,160 Speaker 3: and us feeling like we don't have the safe space 210 00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 3: to be able to say things like I don't feel 211 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 3: like mommy in today and things like that because. 212 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:03,679 Speaker 4: We'll feel bad for it. 213 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 3: Do you feel that you have that you're in that 214 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,680 Speaker 3: safe space today? Yes, Yeah, And I think it took 215 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 3: having a second child. I never thought I was going 216 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 3: to have a second child. But again God's plan and 217 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,839 Speaker 3: you know, a little bit of reckless behavior during the pandemic, but. 218 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,839 Speaker 4: You know it really it really was. 219 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:27,080 Speaker 3: It was me allowing myself the permission to understand that 220 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,360 Speaker 3: it's going to be okay, and that I'm doing a. 221 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 4: Great job and I love my children. 222 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 3: And also the thing that I always want to encourage 223 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 3: women who are mothers in any capacity of their lives 224 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 3: is your children need to. 225 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 4: See you being you. 226 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 3: You know how many of us have seen there our 227 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,199 Speaker 3: moms be Like my mom was so self sacrificing. 228 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 4: She's miserable. 229 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,439 Speaker 3: She got back pain and stress and high blood pressure 230 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,960 Speaker 3: because she was so self sacrificing for everyone else. 231 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 4: There's no reward for that. 232 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 3: You know, you have to pour into yourself and so 233 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:59,120 Speaker 3: that whole empty cup analogy and metaphor, like, it's a 234 00:09:59,120 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 3: real thing. 235 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 4: Poor as women, we are nurturers. 236 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 3: We are nurturing the earth, we are nurturing our offices, 237 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,320 Speaker 3: we are nurturing our children, our partners. We have to 238 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 3: create space and demand that we have space to pour 239 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 3: into ourselves. 240 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 4: It's the only way we could show up. 241 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 5: And that's why it's very important for you know, kids, 242 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 5: even though at our age, get to know your parents, 243 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 5: like to have conversations with them and learn who they 244 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 5: were before they were your parents. 245 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: Yes. 246 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 3: Absolutely. You know it's interesting because somebody asked me about 247 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 3: this the other day. They're like, how do you feel 248 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:32,000 Speaker 3: your perspective has changed making music now versus making music before? 249 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 3: You know, before children, I was singing heartbreak love songs 250 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 3: and people love me for that. And you know, my 251 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 3: kids now they listen to these songs, they don't really 252 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,200 Speaker 3: have the context, but they're going to understand the journey 253 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 3: of who their mother was as a woman, and they're 254 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,720 Speaker 3: going to hear these songs on say yes and know 255 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:48,600 Speaker 3: that these songs are a reflection of transformative, affirmative love 256 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,679 Speaker 3: and they're going to understand that they're a part of that. 257 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,520 Speaker 3: And so I do think it's important that your children 258 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 3: know who you are. This generation that we all cloak 259 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,680 Speaker 3: and dagger and secrets and traumas like that's done. 260 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 4: We can't do that for our children anymore. 261 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: We didn't do ourselves no favors keeping secret. 262 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 3: No no, no no, And our children deserve to know 263 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 3: who we are so that they have permission to be 264 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,719 Speaker 3: who they can be in their lives and understand that 265 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 3: it's not a straight line and there's no perfect you know, 266 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 3: you just do your best. 267 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 1: How is it doing? 268 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 2: Because you said you're independent now, so you're no longer 269 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 2: with UMG or rock Nation. No, why did you decide 270 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,199 Speaker 2: to go independent? 271 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 3: You know, that's just like the trajectory of life. I 272 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 3: had the opportunity to and I took it. You know, 273 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 3: it wasn't a bad situation. You know, shout out to 274 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 3: Steve Rifkin and SRC Records. You know, I had the 275 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:37,400 Speaker 3: opportunity to make an exit, to change the trajectory of 276 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,720 Speaker 3: my life, and I took it. And again, even that 277 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,200 Speaker 3: had his issues going independent, and even that had its 278 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,680 Speaker 3: learning curves. But you know, now in this space, this project, 279 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 3: I've partnered with a Canadian label, you know, some friends 280 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,080 Speaker 3: from back home who were like, yo, what do you 281 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 3: want to do? And I was like, I want to 282 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 3: put out some new music and they were like, bet, 283 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 3: we'll help you, you know, And even in that space 284 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 3: with a little bit of help, it's still a lot 285 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,400 Speaker 3: on me. So I'm still driving this ship. I'm still 286 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,560 Speaker 3: steering how I want it to feel and look like. 287 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 3: And having the long existing relationships of people that you 288 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 3: have history with and coming back to see them. So 289 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,800 Speaker 3: I don't feel like I'm starting from scratch. I'm just 290 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 3: starting again and it feels good, like it feels free. 291 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,600 Speaker 3: And also I think for me creatively, I'm not trying 292 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 3: to chase who I was. I've already done that. It 293 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,480 Speaker 3: kills me, exists for him, exists wrong side of a 294 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,720 Speaker 3: love song full for you, they already exist, They've already 295 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,160 Speaker 3: amounted the success I want to be and create new 296 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 3: art that it has its own light and own life. 297 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 3: So you know, it's it's good. You know, people, artists, 298 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,079 Speaker 3: everybody's like, you know, get to the artists are the bag, 299 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 3: like you're you're the bag. 300 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,199 Speaker 4: So you have value Once you know that, people. 301 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,280 Speaker 3: Come to you and they want to help and they 302 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 3: want to collaborate with you. But it definitely takes a team, 303 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 3: and so I'm rebuilding my team. It's been you know, 304 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 3: as I expand in the motherhood space in different ways 305 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 3: to use my voice, team will continue to expand. Yeah, 306 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 3: it's a lot of responsibility, and I got two kids now, 307 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 3: so it's way more responsibility. But again it's blessed stress 308 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,320 Speaker 3: as I call it. You know, we're all stressed about something, 309 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 3: at least be stressed about what. 310 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:13,960 Speaker 4: You love doing. 311 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:18,199 Speaker 3: Do you have ever feel guilty, have those guilty thoughts 312 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,400 Speaker 3: that you're not spending enough time with your children because 313 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,320 Speaker 3: now you're you're delving back into music and you're you 314 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 3: have all your podcasts and everything else that. Do you 315 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 3: do you still feel yourself struggling in areas where you 316 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 3: like can. 317 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 4: Improve, where you want to improve? You know what I mean? Definitely? 318 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,560 Speaker 4: You know, I'm getting ready to go on tour. 319 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 3: You know, this is the first time I'm going on 320 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 3: tour with two kids, and since having both old three 321 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 3: and nine and. 322 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: I got two of old in the house. 323 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,839 Speaker 4: You really do, Wow, it's a it's a you like 324 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 4: that jump, you like that space of the te I. 325 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,640 Speaker 1: Actually I got three, six and nine and then a 326 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 1: sixteen year old. 327 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:57,520 Speaker 4: That con to me one more time. 328 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, I really, I really am kind of bracing myself 329 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,240 Speaker 3: for that. What that's gonna be like to be away 330 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,000 Speaker 3: from my children for three weeks. I mean, they'll probably 331 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 3: pop out and say hi on a couple of shows, 332 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,480 Speaker 3: but you know, they have they have school now, and 333 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 3: that's a big part of my mental load. I run 334 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 3: that ship. Even though I'm out here, gonna go do television. 335 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 1: He gonna be calling you everywhere socks. Now. 336 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,000 Speaker 3: Actually, he's really good, and we have help right now. 337 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 3: We have family with us who know how we kind 338 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 3: of run our house, so we've kind of had to 339 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 3: enlist that help. But I think that that's one way 340 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 3: that I kind of give myself permission and I try 341 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 3: to quiet the guilt down. I think guilt is a 342 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 3: thing that naturally comes up, but you have to work 343 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 3: actively to say that's not really real. 344 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:44,600 Speaker 4: Like my kids are. 345 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 3: Actually taking care of I am actually out here doing 346 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 3: what I need to do. They're cared for, they're loved, 347 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 3: and it's temporary. Everything is temporary. Like my parents are immigrants. 348 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,920 Speaker 3: I think about my parents leaving my brother in Guyana 349 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 3: to come and immigrate to Canada, to set the life up, 350 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,280 Speaker 3: to bring their children and their family up to Canada, 351 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 3: and how devastating that must have been to be like, 352 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 3: we don't know if it's gonna work, we don't know 353 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 3: what's gonna happen. But I have to leave my child 354 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 3: in a different country and re establish my life, you know. 355 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 3: So I always use that as as a guiding light 356 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 3: for me every time I think about guilt, and every 357 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 3: time I think about what's possible, because we made it. 358 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 3: We all made it, and we're doing all right. Yeah, 359 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 3: and I'm seven months postpartum. 360 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 4: So it's like. 361 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 3: Yes, right, and no, this is my second My son 362 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 3: is twelve, okay, started over right, yeah yeah. So And 363 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,880 Speaker 3: although I do have help. You know, my fiance's mom. 364 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 3: She moved from Kowait to come and be the nanny 365 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:49,400 Speaker 3: and help, you know, And and that is don't play 366 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:58,080 Speaker 3: with me. Don't play with no Melanie anyway. I'm not 367 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 3: gonna come for the mamas. I got you girl. Because 368 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:06,480 Speaker 3: she's Mexican. I'm like, yeah, she was working over there. 369 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 1: Should you say that at the time, like this just 370 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,080 Speaker 1: you just got here, like. 371 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:21,880 Speaker 3: Just go so and I still find myself feeling guilty. 372 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 3: You know, I was breasting, but out of nowhere, I 373 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 3: just stopped producing milk. And I'm guilty because I can't 374 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,520 Speaker 3: give her breast milk anymore. Now she has to get 375 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:34,960 Speaker 3: on formula and everything, and it's just like uh. And 376 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 3: and I'm touring because I'm a stand up comedian as well, 377 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 3: and so I'm here this weekend and then I'm there 378 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 3: this weekend, and I have to get up early and 379 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 3: leave her because I do radio from six to ten 380 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,600 Speaker 3: or six to like whatever that is. So I'm still 381 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 3: in the thick of it where I'm trying to balance 382 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 3: that that guilt or even just rebuke the guilt because 383 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 3: I know I. 384 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 4: Shouldn't feel that way, but I do. I cannot. But 385 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:02,520 Speaker 4: because you love, yeah, love your child. 386 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 3: And when you love something so much, when you love something, 387 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,879 Speaker 3: think about everything that you love, even professionally, like you 388 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 3: want to show up if you love right, and this 389 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,119 Speaker 3: is someone that you made, like you carry, you know, 390 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,920 Speaker 3: the sacrifice, the bond and yeah, like that breastfeeding thing. 391 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 4: Girl, Oh my gosh. 392 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: Let me tell you. 393 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 3: When my first one, I was so sad when that 394 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 3: milk was like bye girl. 395 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,480 Speaker 4: With my second, I was like are we done? Whatever? 396 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:27,440 Speaker 4: Are we done? 397 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,159 Speaker 3: Because I'm not enjoying like it was so difficult the 398 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 3: second time around, by three months, I remember my husband looked. 399 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,200 Speaker 4: At me and he was just like, if you're unhappy, 400 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:35,720 Speaker 4: I just stop. 401 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 3: I was pumping non stop just to be like she 402 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:42,200 Speaker 3: gotta get Yeah. My body was like no, we're done now. 403 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:46,320 Speaker 3: And I felt the second time around when I released 404 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 3: myself from that. So I know everything that you're saying, 405 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,720 Speaker 3: and it's a journey, and no one's actually gonna help 406 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:52,320 Speaker 3: you get there. 407 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 4: It's just you. You're gonna have to arrive. 408 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 3: You're gonna have to see I think once you start 409 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 3: to maybe once you start to just really, when she 410 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:04,399 Speaker 3: sees you happy, she does not know any like you 411 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,639 Speaker 3: being happy is actually what makes her happy. And I 412 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 3: think that that's the thing that we forget. Your children's 413 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 3: happiness and they've done studies on this depends on the 414 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,919 Speaker 3: happiness of the mother more than anyone else in their life. 415 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:21,240 Speaker 3: So you being happy and fulfilled in my only advice, 416 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,400 Speaker 3: even though we're not really supposed to give advice, my only, 417 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,439 Speaker 3: you know, suggestion, would be to try to find the 418 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:31,439 Speaker 3: happiness in your presence. You know, we talk about balance, 419 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 3: like it's supposed to be fifty to fifty. 420 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,960 Speaker 4: No, some days it's ninety ten. 421 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 3: But when you're there at nine, if you're there in ninety, 422 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:40,200 Speaker 3: be there with her, you know, enjoy your time, show 423 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:43,560 Speaker 3: her enjoy, like, create those moments, and when you're not there, 424 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,399 Speaker 3: then she knows that she's loved and then you're in 425 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:50,680 Speaker 3: your full purpose as well. But it's hard, I get it, 426 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,119 Speaker 3: It really is hard and it's a real thing, Like 427 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 3: we talk about it on the podcast all the time 428 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:54,959 Speaker 3: because it's a real thing. 429 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: What did you meet your husband? How did y'all meet Ooh? 430 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 1: Maybe looking for exactly I've been married twenty four years. 431 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 4: Absolutely, thank you very much. 432 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,159 Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about. He wants to 433 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 1: be based so bad. He wants to be based so bad. 434 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:16,159 Speaker 3: Messy, y'all still messy? Oh my gosh, sale message. 435 00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 1: Where you meet your husband? 436 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 3: Because he talks about he's asking the thoughtful questions. 437 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,200 Speaker 4: I love this question. Thank you very much for asking you. 438 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 3: So there's a fun A funny story is we actually 439 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,760 Speaker 3: used to work in the same studio, right next to 440 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 3: each other and didn't even know for years, and one 441 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,439 Speaker 3: day he used to be a songwriter. Now he's a 442 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,200 Speaker 3: manager and an executive. He's a partner at a media company. 443 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,520 Speaker 4: He's doing very well. I'm very proud of him. 444 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,439 Speaker 3: But at that time, he was a songwriter and I 445 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 3: was working on my second project and the first time 446 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 3: we met this guy for my team was like, Hey, 447 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,200 Speaker 3: these guys next door want to play you a song? 448 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 3: When she stepped next door and go, so I walked inside. 449 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 3: That was the first time we met, but we were 450 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,800 Speaker 3: both in different relationships. And then cut to like a 451 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,400 Speaker 3: few years later, we're both out of relationships and we're 452 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:06,159 Speaker 3: in a writing trip. We're like on a writing camp, 453 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 3: and we ended up on an island together. It was 454 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 3: just like a writ like a creative you write for 455 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 3: you just write and then like you place the songs 456 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 3: or whatever. And it was my first writing camp and 457 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,040 Speaker 3: I didn't even know him. We took the same flight. 458 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,360 Speaker 3: We got off the flight and we saw each other 459 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:21,679 Speaker 3: and it was like, oh, hey, I know you. I 460 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 3: know you, but instantly we were just like really familiar. 461 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,400 Speaker 3: And that's how that's how it started. We just met 462 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,119 Speaker 3: on this island and I was like, this is like 463 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 3: I don't know, this is really weird. And I had 464 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 3: actually gotten out of a relationship like a year and 465 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 3: a half before. 466 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 4: I was doing my dating thing being outside. 467 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 3: And I remember right before I went on that trip, 468 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 3: I said to my friend at the time, I was like, 469 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 3: I think I'm ready to meet someone for real, for real, 470 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,440 Speaker 3: Like i think I'm ready to like venture into a 471 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:51,800 Speaker 3: serious relationship again. And I went on that trip and 472 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,120 Speaker 3: we met, and then we came back to New York 473 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:57,760 Speaker 3: and we kind of started dating. We dated for almost 474 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 3: a year, like kind of figuring it out, and then 475 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 3: we broke up. 476 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 4: No, it's a brilliant story. No, you know what the 477 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 4: thing is. 478 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:11,920 Speaker 3: I always say this because I always used to say 479 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 3: I was like, no, U turns like at that point 480 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 3: in my life, I was like, I've already done the 481 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 3: you know how it's going to work out when you 482 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,200 Speaker 3: make when you spend the block, if you have this turnaround, 483 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,320 Speaker 3: it usually don't work. So what I always do. What 484 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,359 Speaker 3: I said was is like I just kept going and 485 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,160 Speaker 3: he met me where I was at. So yeah, because 486 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,239 Speaker 3: I wasn't looking back, I was like, if you are 487 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 3: my person, you we will align. I don't have to 488 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,679 Speaker 3: pull back and you don't have to like You're going 489 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,720 Speaker 3: to meet me where I'm at. And I had done 490 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,359 Speaker 3: a lot of work at that time, so I wasn't 491 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 3: willing to compromise the amounts of self work I had done. 492 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 3: I knew the love that I deserved, I knew the 493 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,919 Speaker 3: love that I wanted. I felt like we could have it. 494 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:50,679 Speaker 3: But again, you got to say yes to overcoming some 495 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 3: of those things. You know, at that time, we I 496 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,120 Speaker 3: don't I'll say this, We've both gotten out of long 497 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,720 Speaker 3: relationships and I had done the work to figure out 498 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,480 Speaker 3: how to move on from that, and I don't think 499 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:04,000 Speaker 3: that he had. 500 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:04,440 Speaker 4: At the time. 501 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,720 Speaker 3: He had never given himself permission to be single, he 502 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,280 Speaker 3: had never enjoyed that part, and so I think when 503 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,600 Speaker 3: he met me, I think it was a moment where 504 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,320 Speaker 3: he was kind of like, WHOA, I think I just 505 00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:15,480 Speaker 3: met the person I'm gonna be the rest be with 506 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:16,399 Speaker 3: for the rest of my life. 507 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 4: Like, am I ready for that? 508 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:17,920 Speaker 1: Yeah? 509 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,879 Speaker 3: I need to be the man that she deserved for sure, 510 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,720 Speaker 3: and I respected him for that, And when we parted ways, 511 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,680 Speaker 3: it was in love like that was one of the 512 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 3: most beautiful breakups I think I'd ever had, because we 513 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,920 Speaker 3: saw each other for who we were as individuals, and 514 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 3: I was just like, whatever work you need to do 515 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,960 Speaker 3: for yourself has nothing to do with me, and I 516 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,959 Speaker 3: actually don't even want to be the catalyst for it. 517 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 4: So I'm going to remove myself so that you. 518 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,480 Speaker 3: Have the space to go and do and be what 519 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,440 Speaker 3: you want to do and be without my influence or 520 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,840 Speaker 3: me planting seeds. And so I know that if you 521 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,439 Speaker 3: show back up, you showed up because you want to 522 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 3: be here. You showed up because this is where you 523 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,720 Speaker 3: know you supposed to be, not because I've been planning 524 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,160 Speaker 3: the seed of hope, Like are you gonna hey, I'm 525 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 3: still here now. I started dating someone else, like we 526 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:02,600 Speaker 3: really started. 527 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 1: He called the lady immediately after that, he got the 528 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:05,360 Speaker 1: therapist online. 529 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 3: What but he did that work. He did that work, 530 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:11,640 Speaker 3: and when he showed back up, it was on. Like 531 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:17,359 Speaker 3: I had whatever reservations that I had thought about spinning 532 00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,200 Speaker 3: in the block or getting back together with an X, 533 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:20,760 Speaker 3: they were just gone. 534 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,400 Speaker 4: I was like, I'm choosing to do this with you. 535 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 4: So what was the moment that it was okay, He's ready? Like, 536 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:27,679 Speaker 4: what was it? 537 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 3: Or did you just feel I just I just knew. 538 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 3: He he came back. We didn't talk for six months. 539 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,200 Speaker 3: I'm like a no contact kind of person, right. 540 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 4: Exactly. He hit me. 541 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,040 Speaker 3: I told him, I said, don't call me. I said, 542 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 3: don't call me about the weather. I said, don't ask 543 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 3: me how I'm doing. 544 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 4: I'll be fine. But I was like, when you call me, 545 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 4: have something to. 546 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,800 Speaker 1: Say, no. 547 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:56,240 Speaker 4: Grandest surmisings queen. 548 00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,280 Speaker 3: No, you know, he just hit me, and he was like, 549 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 3: you know, hey, I was just you know, calling to 550 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:02,880 Speaker 3: see how you were doing I was like, I told 551 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:03,680 Speaker 3: you I'm doing good. 552 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:08,920 Speaker 4: You know, I'm doing good cookie, but I had to. 553 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,439 Speaker 4: I had to. And then finally he hit me. 554 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 3: I was in LA, and you know, he was like, 555 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,639 Speaker 3: he was like, hey, will you have dinner with me? 556 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 3: And I was like no, and no, I was I 557 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,520 Speaker 3: was really trying to. I was trying to. And a 558 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,160 Speaker 3: friend of mine was like, she was like, you love 559 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,120 Speaker 3: this person, why don't you just go have dinner with them, 560 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 3: like he wants to see you. And so I went 561 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 3: and we had dinner, and you know, he he was 562 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 3: like hey, Like I was just hoping. He was living 563 00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:34,440 Speaker 3: in out of state at the time. He was living 564 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,320 Speaker 3: in Florida and I was living in California, and he 565 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,480 Speaker 3: was like, you know, He's like, I was wondering if 566 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,679 Speaker 3: you know you come out and like just you know, 567 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,679 Speaker 3: hang out with me. And I was like no. I 568 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,840 Speaker 3: was like I'm not I'm not coming out. And he 569 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,199 Speaker 3: was like he's like, okay, well then I'm coming back 570 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,560 Speaker 3: to LA. And so then he came out to LA 571 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,639 Speaker 3: and this this is like my favorite part of the 572 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:55,040 Speaker 3: story because I was like, don't do this, Like I 573 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 3: don't do this. 574 00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 4: If you're not read like for real, like I'm not playing. 575 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 3: So then after he's like, I'm coming to LA and 576 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,239 Speaker 3: he's like, I will be here for three days and 577 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,679 Speaker 3: he's like, if you will see me, He was like, 578 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,240 Speaker 3: this is where I'll be and I was like, I'll 579 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,800 Speaker 3: let you know. And I didn't even And then I 580 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,760 Speaker 3: called him thirty minutes before and I was like, I'm 581 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 3: pulling up in thirty minutes. 582 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:14,680 Speaker 4: He's like, I'm here. 583 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:19,960 Speaker 3: So he really posted up and when I went there, wait, no, no, no, 584 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,560 Speaker 3: this was at a hotel. He was at a hotel 585 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 3: in LA and I but I was really, I really 586 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:26,119 Speaker 3: was like, let me see if you're really about that action. 587 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,679 Speaker 3: But like I wasn't making it difficult for him. I 588 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 3: was just really being firm on my boundaries. 589 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,639 Speaker 1: Did you know? 590 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,679 Speaker 3: I did, you know, cause if it's the last time 591 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 3: you go to see somebody, you gotta leave the impression. 592 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:39,480 Speaker 4: But it wasn't. 593 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,840 Speaker 3: It really wasn't, and and you know the things that 594 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 3: he said, it was just the most genuine. I just 595 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,119 Speaker 3: knew spirit was like we're aligned here, and I knew 596 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,280 Speaker 3: that it was it was the right decision for me. 597 00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 3: I knew that I was going and that's you know, 598 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 3: even on the EP, I wrote this song called I 599 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,480 Speaker 3: Choose You because I think that choice is the greatest 600 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 3: thing we have, and when we exercise it in empowerment, 601 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,159 Speaker 3: it can be so beautiful. And so for me, I 602 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,640 Speaker 3: was like, all right, I'm going to choose to say 603 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,040 Speaker 3: yes to this. You're choosing me and I'm choosing you, 604 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 3: and we are going to do this together. We know 605 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,359 Speaker 3: where we've come from, we know what we've been through. 606 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:17,280 Speaker 3: With all of that said, let's choose to do this together. 607 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 3: And so we did, and in six months I was pregnant. 608 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 4: Oh so this is about him. Ye listen, listen, let 609 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:25,639 Speaker 4: me tell you something. 610 00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:29,359 Speaker 3: That moment of us finding out I was pregnant again. 611 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,159 Speaker 3: Like I didn't think I that wasn't the plan. 612 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 4: But it was God's plan. 613 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,000 Speaker 3: And when I really have like as soon as we 614 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,160 Speaker 3: got pregnant and then we had our son, I literally. 615 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,200 Speaker 4: Was just like, oh, this is why. 616 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,919 Speaker 3: Like I of course we have a beautiful love and 617 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 3: life and connection and I really do feel like that 618 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:45,600 Speaker 3: is my person. 619 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,440 Speaker 4: But when we had our son, I literally was like, oh. 620 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:52,879 Speaker 3: This, yeah, this little spirit needed us to get our 621 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:54,920 Speaker 3: shit together so that he could be here. 622 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,720 Speaker 5: There's so much that I'm hearing in what you said 623 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,080 Speaker 5: Number one, The power of intention. Absolutely, you told your homegirl, 624 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,000 Speaker 5: I need to find my person. 625 00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 1: The set boundaries find peace feet. The set boundaries find 626 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,320 Speaker 1: peace part is very important. And you know, just people 627 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 1: doing the work and what's for you won't escape you. 628 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 3: It's there for you time and time again. You just 629 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,399 Speaker 3: have to trust the process, you really do. You have 630 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,399 Speaker 3: to be willing to journey and pay attention and learn 631 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:25,879 Speaker 3: and allow yourself to be a student of life. Like truly, 632 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 3: like in all the work that I feel like I've 633 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,680 Speaker 3: done on myself, I'm still learning. 634 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,359 Speaker 4: I'm still being tested. These kids come along and test you. 635 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,120 Speaker 3: They show you parts of yourself that you didn't even 636 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,240 Speaker 3: know you know that you still needed to work on 637 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 3: in marriage, even at this time right now, we're both 638 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,480 Speaker 3: in the busiest seasons of our lives together and that's 639 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,040 Speaker 3: a challenge, you know, So how do we navigate that 640 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 3: we're not the same people we were, We have more responsibilities, 641 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:51,720 Speaker 3: more stress, So you know, it's just it's an evolution always. 642 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,439 Speaker 3: But the intention, the power of intention is everything. We 643 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,439 Speaker 3: cannot do anything without intention. 644 00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 5: Yeah, I was gonna say that the set and boundaries part, though, 645 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:01,960 Speaker 5: just the fact that you were firm in your nose. 646 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,200 Speaker 1: No one did expound on that. Why is that important? 647 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:05,119 Speaker 1: You know? 648 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,960 Speaker 3: I think for a lot of my life I was 649 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 3: a people pleaser, and I think for a lot of 650 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,640 Speaker 3: my life I felt like I had to be nice 651 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:14,280 Speaker 3: and I had to get along and I had to 652 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 3: go with the flow and not rock the boat. And 653 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:21,359 Speaker 3: I really realized that people you get more by people 654 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,879 Speaker 3: knowing that you know who you are and that you 655 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,480 Speaker 3: can't be swayed on that. 656 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 4: And I think that no is we. 657 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,520 Speaker 3: Hear it a complete sentence, you know, and you don't 658 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:35,040 Speaker 3: have to be rude about anything like no, thank you, yeah, 659 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:36,600 Speaker 3: you know what not At this moment. 660 00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:38,360 Speaker 4: I appreciate that, but no thank you, I'll pass. 661 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 3: Like there's so many ways, you know, that doesn't align 662 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,719 Speaker 3: with me right now, There's so many ways we can 663 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,040 Speaker 3: say no. That's still empower us and if you don't 664 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,760 Speaker 3: want to feel offensive. But the setting boundaries is everything, 665 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,160 Speaker 3: because again, I think because of the boundaries that I've 666 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:55,000 Speaker 3: set for myself in my life, I can now freely 667 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 3: say yes and feel like I'm doing it from wisdom, 668 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,880 Speaker 3: from experience, from divine protect I feel like the universe 669 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,440 Speaker 3: responds when you operate at a high frequency. And so 670 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,720 Speaker 3: I know that I've done the work. You cannot get 671 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 3: to that free space of saying yes by just being 672 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:10,880 Speaker 3: like I'm gonna just say yes to everybody. That's people 673 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,440 Speaker 3: please intended Yes. The say yes from a point of 674 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,880 Speaker 3: empowerment comes from setting those boundaries. So they go, they 675 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:17,560 Speaker 3: go hand in hand. 676 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:22,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, why only six songs all the time? 677 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:29,880 Speaker 3: It's not enough, because that's what I got, That's what. 678 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:31,200 Speaker 4: I want to like. 679 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 3: It's the timeline of your love, like of how you 680 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:35,120 Speaker 3: and your husband. 681 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,560 Speaker 4: Yes, it really is. And you know the thing is 682 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 4: is that. 683 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:45,160 Speaker 3: We there's there's been so much time between these projects, 684 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 3: and I understand that, but you know, six songs are 685 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:48,800 Speaker 3: still six songs. 686 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,280 Speaker 4: It could have been no songs, it really. 687 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,360 Speaker 3: Could, or it could have been twelve songs. But people 688 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:56,480 Speaker 3: only really love six. 689 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:57,240 Speaker 1: Just give them. 690 00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, people don't really love it. They don't like it. 691 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:00,360 Speaker 4: You know, I like it. 692 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,000 Speaker 3: It's not for everybody, And I think that that's the 693 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 3: thing with this project. It's been so long. I wanted 694 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 3: to give people something that allows them to I think 695 00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,360 Speaker 3: connect with the foundation I think of who I am, 696 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 3: like a like Mona Lisa smile of the project is 697 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 3: very much a true Melanie Fiona fan record, like they 698 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 3: will love that. But then you know, you got say Yes, 699 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:24,240 Speaker 3: which is a completely live song, you know, the version 700 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,200 Speaker 3: on the project. There's a version on the project that's 701 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:30,720 Speaker 3: seven minutes long. You know, it's fully artful, it's transcendent, 702 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:35,600 Speaker 3: it's ethereal, it's Andre Harris, Chris Dave, Thundercat, Charlie Burrell 703 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 3: and sir like we crafted this. It's art, you know. 704 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 3: So these songs are really special to me. L Russell 705 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,520 Speaker 3: is on the project, the feature. You know, I got 706 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,120 Speaker 3: James font Leroy on this project. 707 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 4: We did this song. 708 00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:50,960 Speaker 3: So these songs to me are just it's the right 709 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 3: offering for right now. And I think that people will 710 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,120 Speaker 3: enjoy it and they'll want to run it back and 711 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:56,840 Speaker 3: listen to it over and over again, because like you said, 712 00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,240 Speaker 3: you give some people twelve songs. People's attention spans are 713 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 3: these days. 714 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 4: Talk long, yeah, you know what I mean. And so 715 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 4: it's been a while. 716 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,560 Speaker 3: I want to reintroduce and re establish myself, and so 717 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 3: I felt like an EP was the best way. And 718 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,640 Speaker 3: you know, we can move on and make many albums 719 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,720 Speaker 3: and many songs and many projects. 720 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,160 Speaker 4: So I'm just not limiting myself. I'm just this is 721 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:15,560 Speaker 4: what we got. 722 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: Well, the inspiration of Mona Lisa Smile. Was it the 723 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,440 Speaker 1: movie or was it the actual. 724 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 3: No, So Mona Lisa's smile came from a place of 725 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:29,160 Speaker 3: honestly being a black woman in this world. Mona Lisa smile. 726 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:30,600 Speaker 3: You know when you think about the Mona Lisa and 727 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,760 Speaker 3: nobody ever knows that she's smiling if she's sad, like. 728 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 4: We don't know. 729 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:42,240 Speaker 3: This very nondescript right exactly, but full right, well she's white, yeah, yes, 730 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:47,800 Speaker 3: well we have black Mona Lisa now and she's smiling today. 731 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,160 Speaker 3: But no, the thing is is that Mona Lisa smile. 732 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,640 Speaker 3: If you listen to it, it's this like beautiful song 733 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,480 Speaker 3: that sounds really pretty. It's got this vintage sound. But 734 00:31:55,640 --> 00:32:00,200 Speaker 3: what I'm talking about is the stress of being in life, 735 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,520 Speaker 3: in love with somebody. It's just being like, I'm not 736 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,320 Speaker 3: going anywhere, and I'm going to put my best Mona 737 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 3: Lisa smile on because if I love one tier fall, 738 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,720 Speaker 3: I might fall apart. But as a black woman in 739 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 3: this world, as a woman in this world, I have 740 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,280 Speaker 3: to show up with my head held high. 741 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,400 Speaker 4: And nobody will know what's going on inside. 742 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,160 Speaker 3: And that's really what Mona Lisa Smile is that even 743 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,280 Speaker 3: in that side, it's just like when you're in a 744 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:25,720 Speaker 3: relationship with somebody, it's just like, Ooh, I'm gonna just 745 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:26,840 Speaker 3: hold it together right now. 746 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,240 Speaker 4: I'm gonna just hold it together right now. You know. 747 00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:34,640 Speaker 3: So I really love Mona Lisa Smile that for that reason, 748 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:38,040 Speaker 3: because I think it really is the untold story of 749 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 3: what so many women carry in their relationships and in 750 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:41,719 Speaker 3: their roles in their lives. 751 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 1: Yeah. 752 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,440 Speaker 5: Another thing that you've talked about, you know, this conversation 753 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,480 Speaker 5: that I would love to just expound on is because 754 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:48,200 Speaker 5: somebody was up here. 755 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:49,520 Speaker 1: I forgot who it was, and they. 756 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,960 Speaker 5: Were just saying how work life balance does not exist, Like, 757 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:52,840 Speaker 5: there's no such thing. 758 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 1: It's a lie that we tell ourselves. 759 00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:57,479 Speaker 5: You're going to give your energy to your family and 760 00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,040 Speaker 5: that that's gonna be, that you're going to give your 761 00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:00,880 Speaker 5: energy to your work, and that's gonna be that. Like 762 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 5: you said earlier, it's not gonna be fifty fifty, it 763 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:03,600 Speaker 5: might be ninety ten. 764 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,360 Speaker 3: Could you just expound on that little Yeah, you know, 765 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,760 Speaker 3: they say something that I've heard many people says, you 766 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:08,880 Speaker 3: can have it all, you just can't have it all 767 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,720 Speaker 3: at the same time. And so, you know, I think 768 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:15,200 Speaker 3: for the well being of ourselves, we have to give 769 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 3: ourselves grace to be able to just be like, I 770 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,960 Speaker 3: want to show up one hundred percent in everything, But 771 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:22,600 Speaker 3: all you got to do is show up one hundred 772 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 3: percent and where you're at in that moment. If that's 773 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,760 Speaker 3: cooking dinner, that's what I'm doing today. I'm cooking dinner. 774 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 3: I'm doing that. Multitasking is this thing that they've told us, 775 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 3: you know, like we it's not actually real. We're not 776 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,560 Speaker 3: supposed to be able to multitask. Like the only thing 777 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,560 Speaker 3: we really can do is like talk and look at 778 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,360 Speaker 3: the same time walk maybe and talk. You know, in 779 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,360 Speaker 3: order to be present and really great at something, you 780 00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,600 Speaker 3: really do have to give it your full attention, parenting, marriage, 781 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,400 Speaker 3: all of these things. So you can only do that 782 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 3: in certain times of your day. You know, I don't 783 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,800 Speaker 3: know how many hours Beyonce has because they said, you know, 784 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:55,560 Speaker 3: she got more than twenty four hours because she'd be 785 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,040 Speaker 3: getting done. But you know, in my twenty four hour day, 786 00:33:58,080 --> 00:33:59,880 Speaker 3: I just do the best I can in the moment, 787 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,320 Speaker 3: you know, right, now I'm not checking on my kids. 788 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:05,480 Speaker 4: Yeah I can't. I'm here. 789 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,120 Speaker 3: So you just have to give yourself the grace to 790 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,359 Speaker 3: just say, like I said, sometimes it's ninety, sometimes it's ten. 791 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,680 Speaker 3: Just do the best every day, one hundred percent. And 792 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,800 Speaker 3: if you and if you're and if you're a hundred percent. 793 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,800 Speaker 3: See we don't do have little lips. 794 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 4: But she is smiling. Once I zoomed all the way 795 00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:22,120 Speaker 4: in Melanie. 796 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:27,400 Speaker 5: Does about how you focus your heads. 797 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,720 Speaker 3: Right, And I had no idea that she was really smiling. 798 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:29,799 Speaker 3: So what is she looking at? 799 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:30,560 Speaker 4: What is she is? 800 00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:30,719 Speaker 1: She? 801 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,160 Speaker 4: Is she stoic? Is she happy? Is she said? We 802 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,959 Speaker 4: don't know what her I say, I say that she is. 803 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:37,600 Speaker 1: Said, we don't even know if that's a woman. We 804 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:38,000 Speaker 1: do it. 805 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:40,799 Speaker 4: And that's the thing. There's so much conversation about the moment. Yes, yeah, 806 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:47,040 Speaker 4: see no, there are things pieces about it. There are 807 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 4: like people who are just like, we don't. 808 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:53,080 Speaker 3: Know his name is Mona, not Malcolm, She's well fly 809 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:53,840 Speaker 3: not Malcolm. 810 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:54,480 Speaker 4: Sad woman. 811 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,440 Speaker 1: Can we get into a joint off the EP? What 812 00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:57,000 Speaker 1: you want to hear? 813 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:02,799 Speaker 4: Yes, say yes, you can't feel that what you because 814 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:05,400 Speaker 4: you got some upbeat stuff on it to have some upbeat. 815 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:10,040 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, this this is tricky. 816 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:16,200 Speaker 1: It's six songs, yo. 817 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:22,279 Speaker 4: Let's do it that Temple one, run it. What are 818 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,000 Speaker 4: we gonna do? What's the name of it? We're gonna do, 819 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,200 Speaker 4: We're gonna do. Make me feel Featured in l russell 820 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:28,359 Speaker 4: Summer Bot. 821 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:31,719 Speaker 2: Okay, Guy Russell, loved Russell. Let's get into it right now. 822 00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:35,080 Speaker 2: And we appreciate you for joining us year stranger. 823 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,479 Speaker 3: Never, I won't be, don't I won't be. I really 824 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,239 Speaker 3: won't be. New York always has a special place in 825 00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:40,799 Speaker 3: my heart. So I'm just happy to be back here. 826 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:41,040 Speaker 4: Thank you. 827 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,359 Speaker 3: And I got to tune into your podcast, girl, Yes 828 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:44,360 Speaker 3: and mimmy stuff. 829 00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:45,359 Speaker 4: Let's have you on it. 830 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, next time you're in l A, please come through. Okay, 831 00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 3: we can talk about all the things. Thank and he 832 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,239 Speaker 3: is a safe space, absolutely appreciates all. 833 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,279 Speaker 2: Right, it's the breakfast Club is Melanie fie Ony, Thank you. 834 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,640 Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. Breakfast Club