1 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,320 Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that just launched a social network 2 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 1: for all his imaginary friends. Then he had to shut 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: it down because Jessica, Rabbit and Batman kept poking each other. 4 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: It's Laser Stories, a segment where we read weird news 5 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except 6 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: we have a laser and those other sweaty bedties just don't. 7 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: This first Laser story is out of North Texas. Sixty 8 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 1: six year old retired woman named Elaine can't get men 9 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,520 Speaker 1: to stop showing up at her house. 10 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 2: Are you just bragging? 11 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: No, this isn't a humble brag. These are unwelcome visitors 12 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 1: who are there looking for some sweet action. 13 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,840 Speaker 2: Why are they going to Elaine's house again? 14 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: As Elaine says, the men have been showing up for 15 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 1: the past year, at all times of the day and night, 16 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: at least twenty five of them. They're young, they're old, 17 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: they're local, they've traveled a long distance, all kinds of 18 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: different dudes. 19 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 2: Is this like Daniel, It's like a new swatting trend. 20 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 2: Instead of getting the police to show up, you just 21 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,840 Speaker 2: get like males. 22 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,960 Speaker 1: I'd like that. Hum, Well, why and how is this happening? 23 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: Elaine says she's figured out that her address is being 24 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 1: used by a scammer. Apparently, these men log onto a 25 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,679 Speaker 1: naughty website and are given a list of options, and 26 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: at that time they paid their venmo for various services, 27 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:36,680 Speaker 1: and then they're given her address. Guys listening, there are 28 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:41,479 Speaker 1: no local women in your area. They do not work. 29 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 1: I wouldn't know, Joe wouldn't, but I can't confirm they 30 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: don't work. 31 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 2: So you've been to Elaine's house. 32 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 1: I don't know, yeah, says They say they're here for 33 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 1: an appointment for Nikki, some say for Kelly, and lately 34 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: it's been for Ronda. Oh well, it's very irritating. Elane's 35 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: not afraid of confronting the men and threatening them with 36 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: various household objects. 37 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,360 Speaker 2: I mean, what are they gonna do. They're gonna go 38 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 2: to the cops and say got scammed out of them? Yeah, yeah, exactly. 39 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 1: She also says she appreciates that the local police are 40 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: quick to respond when she calls, but they won't do 41 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: anything other than shoe the men off. She's hoping that 42 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 1: the authorities will go after the scammer who's sending the 43 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 1: men over to her place. Sina's annoying. 44 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, either that or she's missing a real business opportunity. 45 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: This next the stories out of Illinois. Sixty six year 46 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: old Vira Ledell was the food service director at a 47 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 1: local school district, and she'd been working there for at 48 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 1: least a decade, but during the pandemic, she started over 49 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,800 Speaker 1: ordering chicken and picking it up herself in a district 50 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:51,520 Speaker 1: cargo van. 51 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 2: Okay, so she's just working extra hard. 52 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 1: Well, kid, that extra chicken was never brought back to 53 00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 1: the school. 54 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 2: Wait a minute, she's just really hungry for chicken. 55 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 1: What happened to it? We may never know, but over 56 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,920 Speaker 1: the past couple of years she stole a lot of it, 57 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:14,960 Speaker 1: close to one and a half million dollars worth of poultry. Why, 58 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: oh my god. 59 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 2: Anyway, wait, where's all the chicken? 60 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: Last week she ended up being caught because she overlooked 61 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: one thing. She was ordering massive amounts of chicken wings. 62 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: But the school never serves wings to the students because 63 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: they contain bones. 64 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 2: Oh that's okay, kids and dogs can't give them to them. 65 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: She's currently being held on one hundred and fifty thousand 66 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaker 1: dollars bond, and when police took her away from school, 67 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 1: she threw her hairnet out the squad car and yelled. 68 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: If it wasn't for these meddling kids, she would have 69 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 1: been featured on next season's Velma if Mindy Kaling wouldn't 70 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 1: have screwed it up so loud. 71 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 2: Probably not gonna be a next season. Good job, Chicken 72 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 2: Wing Marauder. 73 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 1: This next laser story is out of traffic HQ. This 74 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: is fun. If you're stuck in traffic right now, new 75 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: study just found it might be making you dumber. 76 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 2: I think that's just because you're to this. 77 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,520 Speaker 1: No, it's not because you're listening to our show, although 78 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: that does aid in lowering your IQ. Researchers found the 79 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,919 Speaker 1: exhaust from cars and big trucks on the road could 80 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 1: be breaking your brain, at least temporarily. Are you guys 81 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:28,159 Speaker 1: down at doing the shrooms? Here's the evidence. They had 82 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: twenty five healthy adults breathing diesel fumes and then scan 83 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:38,840 Speaker 1: their brains. Who volunteers for that? What? Probably people that 84 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: want trooms? I see this tailpipe? Did you just put 85 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:45,559 Speaker 1: your mouth just a couple of breaths? MRI results showed 86 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:49,640 Speaker 1: lower functional connectivity afterwards what is done? Meaning they couldn't 87 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,119 Speaker 1: think as clearly because different parts of their mind weren't 88 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 1: communicating well. Doctors used to think air pollution didn't really 89 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 1: affect our brains very much, at least not right away, 90 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: but authors of the studies say, clearly does, and it 91 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: happens pretty quickly. 92 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 2: That's what's wrong with society. 93 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,359 Speaker 1: Two hours of sitting in traffic could have a noticeable 94 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 1: effect on mind power short term, and it might cause 95 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: ongoing issues if you're exposed to fumes every day. So 96 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: a lot good news is there's something you can do 97 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,719 Speaker 1: about it. Keep your windows up while you're in traffic, 98 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,279 Speaker 1: and make sure your cabin air filter isn't too old. 99 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,680 Speaker 2: I thought you were just going to say work. 100 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: From home, Okay, Yeah, that's an option or helicopter to 101 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: work like brook does. Yeah, there you go. This next 102 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 1: lazer stories out of the world of Romance. We're just 103 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 1: weeks away from Valentine's Day, so if you're planning on 104 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: ordering anything online, you should probably get on that. Oh ye, 105 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,719 Speaker 1: no plans, Jeff. According to a new annual survey by 106 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 1: the National Retail Federation, the average person expects to spend 107 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: one hundred and ninety two dollars and eighty cents on 108 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,120 Speaker 1: the holiday this year. Does that include dinner? 109 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,919 Speaker 2: It's my year to play on with my husband, you 110 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 2: know a switch years. 111 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, right, it's my year these days. That's about a 112 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,359 Speaker 1: dozen roses and a dozen eggs. 113 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 2: Yes, oh jokes. 114 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 1: Let's end the segment on that. 115 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 2: You can't throw eggs out for it, it's too expensive. 116 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 1: Most people are planning to spend the same on significant 117 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,479 Speaker 1: others and family members as last year, roughly around one 118 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,479 Speaker 1: hundred and thirty dollars, but the increase this year is 119 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:26,040 Speaker 1: the non Valentine category. Gifts are getting for pets, for friends, 120 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,279 Speaker 1: co workers, classmates, teachers, co workers. 121 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,160 Speaker 2: We're not doing that right if you're your bucket. 122 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 1: So what are people buying? Fifty seven percent will pick 123 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 1: up candy and forty percent will purchase greeting cards. 124 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 2: Let's all celebrate on February fifteenth, and we'll get discount 125 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 2: candy from. 126 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, buy you guys candy. Not everybody celebrates Valentine's Day, 127 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 1: and among the people who don't, twenty eight percent will 128 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 1: still mark the day in some way with some non 129 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: Valentine's gifts by treating themselves to something special, planning a 130 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,720 Speaker 1: get together with their single friends. 131 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,080 Speaker 2: Oh my god, they hate Valentine's Day and they're anti 132 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,160 Speaker 2: but then they still like. 133 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: I'm going to barth on my friends. 134 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's not because you're you know, like the 135 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 2: people who are like it's a hallmark holiday. But then 136 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,920 Speaker 2: they still spend the money anyway. 137 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 1: They'll do it with single friends, with single family members, 138 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 1: or with random shoes. Oh that's the sound of a 139 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: guy who just spent one hundred and ninety two bucks 140 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: on some shoelace protectors for all his soulfull ladies. Wow, 141 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: that sounds. Stories has come to an end for the day. 142 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 1: We'll do it again the same time on Wednesday.