Speaker 1: Slaying fish, drinking vodka big for hat. Imagine a toddler's
Speaker 1: crayon drawing of a caterpillar with a hook hanging out
Speaker 1: of the ass. And generally speaking, when you're fishing alone,
Speaker 1: do you shake it hard or medium or just a
Speaker 1: little bit? Good morning, degenerate anglers, and welcome back to
Speaker 1: Ben the Fishing podcast for people who are sick of
Speaker 1: listening to fishing podcast that lie to you by telling
Speaker 1: you they will actually help you catch more fish. I'm
Speaker 1: Joe Surmelie. I'm Miles Nulty, and thankfully, I've actually given
Speaker 1: up all hope of anything helping me catch more fish, except,
Speaker 1: you know, spending more time fishing. That's what I That's
Speaker 1: what I recommend all this stuff we we write and
Speaker 1: read about helping people catch more fish. Isn't that like
Speaker 1: the key to the city answer? Like, whatever your question is,
Speaker 1: how do I catch ten pound? Best? Spend more time
Speaker 1: fishing you'll catch eventually, Yeah, how do I catch you
Speaker 1: giant brown trout? Get out there more than once a month? Anyway?
Speaker 1: The fall season is coming, uh, and that's the time
Speaker 1: when the beaches and shore is returned back to their
Speaker 1: rightful steward striper fisherman and duck hunters. We're getting into September,
Speaker 1: which is crazy. I can't believe in September already. But
Speaker 1: that means that the frat boys have had to abandon
Speaker 1: the covid orgies on their parents bayliners and get back
Speaker 1: to doing whatever the hell it is that entitled college
Speaker 1: kids are doing these days. What is that zooming into class?
Speaker 1: That's that's what the kids are doing, which is like,
Speaker 1: if you think about it, zooming into class is the
Speaker 1: actual literal definition of phoning it in. They don't even
Speaker 1: You're right, I didn't even think about that. They don't
Speaker 1: even have to pretend anymore. Um. And speaking of phoning
Speaker 1: it in, it's we're on that topic. I think it's
Speaker 1: time for original fishing Report. Yeah, man, and I'm pumped
Speaker 1: on this one. This is a special one. It comes
Speaker 1: to us from none other than internationally renowned fly fishing
Speaker 1: guide influencer podcast hosting celebrity Hank freaking Patterson. And I
Speaker 1: gotta say, man, I am, I am flabbergasted that you
Speaker 1: arrange this. Good for you all those years of sitting
Speaker 1: in your car like a creeper in the parking lot
Speaker 1: at orbus headquarters hoping to awkwardly flag him down. Have
Speaker 1: finally paid off. Good on you, Miles. Check one check one.
Speaker 1: Mike is hot hot Mike check one to to check
Speaker 1: to check to Hey, Terry, how does that sound? One?
Speaker 1: Check one check one Terry? You listening to that? How
Speaker 1: does that sound? I don't want to sound like one
Speaker 1: of those freaking little rent bait fishing guys calling in
Speaker 1: their fish and report from a pay phone outside of
Speaker 1: backwood gas station, toilet or something. All right, you want
Speaker 1: to make this sound real pro alright, so let's listen up.
Speaker 1: Check chack jacks. That good, check that good, that check
Speaker 1: good good, okay, and three to one. Hey, I'm Hank Patterson,
Speaker 1: pro staffer, World Around fly fishing expert and guide. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm here today with a fishing report for anybody planning
Speaker 1: a trip in the next week or so too Alphonse
Speaker 1: Island in the say Shells. I'm heading to the say Sells.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you're all pretty excited about that. But before
Speaker 1: I get into all that, I just wanted to brag
Speaker 1: that I just tell you about the fact that I
Speaker 1: was in Russia last week on the cam Chuka cam
Speaker 1: Chewy Cambuucha River, the Cambucha River, fishing, giant rainbows, slaying fish,
Speaker 1: drinking vodka, big fur hat, amazing trip. Let me tell you,
Speaker 1: if you are ever planning a trip to Russia, give
Speaker 1: me a shout. I'll put together a hosted trip and
Speaker 1: so that way I can go on the trip for free.
Speaker 1: I mean, well, it's not not not free for you,
Speaker 1: you understand, It's just what it hosted trip is is.
Speaker 1: I basically make a couple of phone calls and then
Speaker 1: I mooch off of you paying full price so that
Speaker 1: I get to go uh to Russia without paying any money.
Speaker 1: It's a win win, trust me. Uh. Anyway, this week,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be in the Sayshells, and well before I
Speaker 1: get to that next week, I'm gonna be an Iceland.
Speaker 1: And I know what you're thinking, Oh my god, Iceland, Hank,
Speaker 1: would you please post a collection of hero shots of
Speaker 1: yourself with big Fish in Iceland, hashtagged busy day at
Speaker 1: the office and would you Oh and would you please
Speaker 1: post pictures of all the helicopters that you ride in
Speaker 1: while in Iceland and hashtag those Iceland uber or hashtag
Speaker 1: make everyday count. Anyway, if you're headed to the Sayshells.
Speaker 1: I should say, remember, take some flies and and and
Speaker 1: a rod or whatever. Make sure to get yourself on
Speaker 1: a on a pro staff or whatever. Anyway, bring seven
Speaker 1: go pros, four drones, UH six K black magic video
Speaker 1: camera on a gimbal, and a smartphone so that you
Speaker 1: can keep up on all of your socials while you're there.
Speaker 1: And hey, if you're planning a trip to Cuba in
Speaker 1: the fall, I'll see you there. You know. Not to
Speaker 1: sound like a dick, but I didn't even realize Hank
Speaker 1: is still around, man. I kind of thought he faded away,
Speaker 1: like with Tankara and fly fishing fly fishing for carp um.
Speaker 1: But I must just be out of the Hank loop
Speaker 1: or something. Though he never went anywhere. I think I
Speaker 1: think there's a little more to the story. Actually, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure, at least from sources I've got, I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure Hank has to stay in international waters so
Speaker 1: you can avoid extradition for for something. Anyway, if if
Speaker 1: any of you out there want to get on one
Speaker 1: of Hank's hosted trips and get the honor of paying
Speaker 1: for him to stay out of prison wall fishing for free,
Speaker 1: and say Shells, check him out at Hank Patterson dot com.
Speaker 1: Just make sure to watch out for spywear before before
Speaker 1: you go and do that. We've reached the part of
Speaker 1: the show where we beg, implore, and guilt trip you
Speaker 1: into putting down your phones and your computers and reading
Speaker 1: an actual book once in a while. Listen up, you
Speaker 1: freaking philistines. I got a book recommendation for you. What's
Speaker 1: a fasting? It's a guy who doesn't care about books
Speaker 1: or interesting films and things. Time on the Water by
Speaker 1: Bill Gardner chronicles a two d day muskie season that
Speaker 1: alone makes it worthy of a read. I mean, how
Speaker 1: many recreational anglers do you know who put in that
Speaker 1: kind of time? Very few, very few casual anglers have
Speaker 1: the drive or disciplined to fish virtually every day from
Speaker 1: May three to November, and Gardner is most definitely a
Speaker 1: casual angler. Part of the appeal of this story is
Speaker 1: Gardener's willingness to expose his own ignorance. He doesn't pretend
Speaker 1: to be an expert. He's a musky fanboy with an
Speaker 1: obsessive personality who had an epiphany while sitting in Gridlock
Speaker 1: l a traffic one day and decided to move his
Speaker 1: family to northern Wisconsin and spend seven months trying to
Speaker 1: catch one of the top ten biggest muskies of the
Speaker 1: year in Violas County. Spoiler alert, He doesn't act, so
Speaker 1: that's not much of a spoiler. It's pretty clear from
Speaker 1: page one that this guy isn't going to crack the
Speaker 1: top ten list. But that's not why you read the book.
Speaker 1: You read the book because it captures the beautiful futility
Speaker 1: of a fishing obsession. Time on the water also shows
Speaker 1: how much better muskie fishing is now than it was
Speaker 1: forty years ago. Although published in all the action took
Speaker 1: place in the season of night. We follow Gardner as
Speaker 1: he digs it out day after day after day, casting
Speaker 1: bucktails and jerk baits, trolling crank bits, soaking suckers, and
Speaker 1: hardly catching any fish. At one point, he goes nearly
Speaker 1: two months straight without landing a single muskie, and his
Speaker 1: big goal for the entire season is to catch one
Speaker 1: fish approaching fifty In these days, fifty inches are almost
Speaker 1: expected in certain places, and a real trophy goes fifty pounds.
Speaker 1: We really are living in the golden age of muskie fishing.
Speaker 1: This book is not great literature. It's a folksy account
Speaker 1: of a long and mostly unproductive fishing season, more a
Speaker 1: fishing diary than an actual narrative. Here's the taste. Trying
Speaker 1: a very shallow bay with thick weeds. Keep getting my
Speaker 1: bucktail fouled with weeds. So I'm going to try a
Speaker 1: big surface bait. For some reason, most muskie fishermen don't
Speaker 1: use surface lures. I love them sometimes, these big surface
Speaker 1: lures just driving muskies nuts. Cheeh, here comes one like
Speaker 1: a locomotive. Ten ft behind the lure, five ft smash. Hey,
Speaker 1: this is a fish set that hook. Give him line.
Speaker 1: He's a brute. No, not under the boat. Get back
Speaker 1: out here. Hold it right there while I get my
Speaker 1: glove on. Okay, into the boat. Nice fish measures about
Speaker 1: thirty nine inches. Well, I don't feel like quitting, so
Speaker 1: I guess you're going back in by guy, two years
Speaker 1: and you'll be a lunker. I can't believe it. I
Speaker 1: just released the biggest fish I ever caught. Makes me
Speaker 1: feel like a real pro. How did you do today? Oh?
Speaker 1: All right, I caught a thirty nine incher but turned
Speaker 1: him loosed a lot of emphasis on releasing muskies these days,
Speaker 1: but It's one of those things easier said than done.
Speaker 1: I mean, Christ, how many days have I spent on
Speaker 1: the water trying to get a decent muski and now
Speaker 1: he's back in the water. So yeah, some turns of
Speaker 1: phrase are painfully cheesy, and the term lunker appears far
Speaker 1: too often. But still I have a sauce spot for
Speaker 1: this book, and it turns out I'm not alone. It's
Speaker 1: developed a bit of a cult following. The book was
Speaker 1: never reprinted after and while the original paperbacks say on
Speaker 1: the cover, they now go for over a hundred bucks online. Luckily,
Speaker 1: Gardner sold the digital rights to Muski Hunter Magazine in
Speaker 1: two thousand three and they re released it, so you
Speaker 1: can still get the e book for cheap. You know,
Speaker 1: I am not like a crazed musky angler, but I
Speaker 1: do like fishing books, and I have no idea how
Speaker 1: I miss that one man. That book sounds like it's
Speaker 1: squarely in my lane. It's like it's like the fish
Speaker 1: book version of the band The Descendants, you know, speeky, underappreciated,
Speaker 1: and mostly mostly forgotten. That's that's spot on, Joe, because
Speaker 1: both The Descendants and that book reached the height of
Speaker 1: whatever their popularity was in the early eighties, so so
Speaker 1: good call, good call on that one. Uh. And they're
Speaker 1: both classics. Since we're on the subject of classics, I think, uh,
Speaker 1: I think we should switch over to That's My Bar.
Speaker 1: And remember, yeah, remember all of you out there, We
Speaker 1: we actually really need your help to make this segment work.
Speaker 1: We want to shout out all the best, dirty, dingy
Speaker 1: and divy fishing bars out there. So shoot us an email.
Speaker 1: Tell us about your favorite place to drink after a
Speaker 1: day of fishing. Best God damn bartender from tim Buck
Speaker 1: to to Portland, Maine, the Portland argument for that matter.
Speaker 1: At first, I was embarrassed, I must admit. Listener Glenn
Speaker 1: crane Felt offered up St. George's Pub in Brigantine, New
Speaker 1: Jersey for That's My Bar, and as a pure bred
Speaker 1: Jersey boy, I read Glenn's pitch and thought, how the
Speaker 1: hell do I not know about this bar? I practically
Speaker 1: grew up in Brigantine. Our family boat was docked down
Speaker 1: there for years. But it turns out, at least according
Speaker 1: to the interwebs, St. George's wasn't established until the early
Speaker 1: two thousand's, which would have been a few years after
Speaker 1: I stopped hanging out down there and the old family
Speaker 1: boat was sold, So that explains that. Nor would I
Speaker 1: have been of legal drinking age during those years anyway.
Speaker 1: But listen to this, Glenn rights. When you pull off
Speaker 1: the beach after a night on the jetty, there is
Speaker 1: nothing better than the biscuits and cod fish gravy at St.
Speaker 1: George's to warm you up. That and a little Irish
Speaker 1: whiskey in your coffee. The place is open and serving seven.
Speaker 1: It also has amount of the world record hybrid striper
Speaker 1: caught in saltwater hanging on the wall. Glenn says the
Speaker 1: bar's owner caught that hybrid off the dock where his
Speaker 1: big sport fishing boat is parked. And uh, a little
Speaker 1: research confirmed that to be true. Anyway, Holy sh it, man,
Speaker 1: biscuits and codfish gravy open, seven mounted stripers, Glenn, It's
Speaker 1: time for me to get back to my roots. Man.
Speaker 1: I guess I need to start fishing and hanging out
Speaker 1: in Brigantine again, just to eat and drink at St. George's,
Speaker 1: because that all sounds magical. Side note, I did spend
Speaker 1: a lot of time in the rod and Real Tavern
Speaker 1: and Brigantine in my youth. Okay, my dad loved eating
Speaker 1: at that joint. You remember that one, Glenn, right, That
Speaker 1: may have been the most badass, blue collar fishing bar
Speaker 1: the Jersey Shore has ever known, but sadly Hurricane Sandy
Speaker 1: took it from you and me and all the other
Speaker 1: bunka chunkas on our coast. Godspeed Rod and real tavern. Remember,
Speaker 1: we need you to make us hip to the coolest, dirtiest, nastiest,
Speaker 1: most fun fishing bars all the planet. So email us
Speaker 1: at bent at the meat eater dot com and make
Speaker 1: us believers in your favorite saloon. Tell us everything that
Speaker 1: makes it awesome so it and you, of course, can
Speaker 1: possibly get shouted out in the next installment of That's
Speaker 1: My Bar. Thank you, Glenn for adding to the rapidly
Speaker 1: filling reservoir of great fishing bars. Keep coming, everyone, but
Speaker 1: enough with the distractions. Let's get serious. It's time for
Speaker 1: fish news. Fish news that escalated quickly. Now we'll get
Speaker 1: to the fish news here um, where we tell you
Speaker 1: the real news about fishing related and fish related things.
Speaker 1: And as a reminder, this is a competition. Miles and
Speaker 1: I do not know which stories the other dude is
Speaker 1: bringing to the table. And this little new thing we're doing.
Speaker 1: Our our engineer, the Mighty Phil Phil Taylor. He now
Speaker 1: gets to weigh in at the end of this Dog
Speaker 1: and Tony show and decide who who brought the pain
Speaker 1: more proper me or Miles. Pay attention Phil, So, um,
Speaker 1: listen up. It's always its always benefit to be the
Speaker 1: leadoff man. That is that is me this week. And um, Miles,
Speaker 1: it's finally happened. I knew this day would come. Switzerland
Speaker 1: based food giant Nestle, which we mostly know for their
Speaker 1: chocolate here in the States, has launched Sensational Vuna, a
Speaker 1: plant based tuna. Oh no, oh, where's Ben O'Brien. We
Speaker 1: need to bring Bennett on this story continue. So, so
Speaker 1: this comes to us from Fox Business. Nest Lee, the
Speaker 1: world's largest food company, announced the launch of its plant
Speaker 1: based tuna, becoming the latest company to dive into the
Speaker 1: growing seafood alternatives market. The fish free tuna is made
Speaker 1: from six plant based ingredients, including P protein and wheat
Speaker 1: wheat gluten and contains of me know acids. Wait, this
Speaker 1: gets much better, uh, The company said. The plant based
Speaker 1: tuna will join Nestle's portfolio of plant based alternatives to burgers, meatballs,
Speaker 1: chicken nuggets, and other items. Now here's where it gets interesting.
Speaker 1: Apparently there's like a like like this fake fish race
Speaker 1: is somewhat um like like the space race kind of
Speaker 1: because it goes on to say Nestlee joins a number
Speaker 1: of startups launching more animal free products in the plant
Speaker 1: basic food space. For instance, Good Catch sells Foe Tuna,
Speaker 1: a foe tuna version of albacore using lagoons, beans and algae,
Speaker 1: in addition to plant based crab cakes, which they sound
Speaker 1: just the whole bay on that you're all sat a
Speaker 1: lot of old heavy, a lot heavy on the old bay.
Speaker 1: But and then it says and others have swum swam
Speaker 1: into sushi grade alternative tuna territory. The brand, the brand
Speaker 1: Ocean Hugger says it has quote the world's first plant
Speaker 1: based alternative to raw tuna, while San Francisco based startup
Speaker 1: kali Ana rolled out a raw tuna with iron, algae, oil,
Speaker 1: and various proteins using a proprietary process said to recreate
Speaker 1: the taste and texture of raw fish. Now I looked
Speaker 1: up this Ocean Hugger raw tuna alternative, and I gotta
Speaker 1: say based on the photos alone, it looks it looks
Speaker 1: pretty convincing. It's a nice piece of sush there on
Speaker 1: the rice with a little with a little rap though
Speaker 1: it is more the color of salmon than tuna, and
Speaker 1: um per the company. All it consists of is tomatoes,
Speaker 1: gluten free soy sauce, sugar water, and sesame oil. Now,
Speaker 1: before we comment here, to get back to the original story,
Speaker 1: we'll close with this fact toid uh. It says, with
Speaker 1: the rapid growth of alternative meat startups, there's certainly a
Speaker 1: market for sustainable seafood, particularly in the COVID nine teen era.
Speaker 1: I mean, now, it's a whole era, not just like
Speaker 1: a few months. This is the era which is awful.
Speaker 1: Retail sales for plant based foods in the US have
Speaker 1: increased by eleven percent compared to last year, according to
Speaker 1: the latest data from Plant Based Food Association and the
Speaker 1: nonprofit Good Food Institute. So the vuna looks like tuna salad,
Speaker 1: but it's the raw tuna deals that are wigging me out. Man.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I'm not going to dive into the
Speaker 1: whole fake meat argument discussion thing like that. We We've
Speaker 1: already covered that elsewhere in other media programs and we
Speaker 1: don't have time to get into it here. And I'll
Speaker 1: just say this, my personal perspective is I'm all four
Speaker 1: people eating seafood responsibly and trying not to like get
Speaker 1: into bad situations where we're overharvesting fish stocks. Like be
Speaker 1: thoughtful about what you choose to consume. But maybe you
Speaker 1: eat your vegetables as vegetables and eat your fish as fish.
Speaker 1: And I know that's a crazy thought, but that's personally
Speaker 1: how I'm gonna go about doing it and avoid processing
Speaker 1: one thing and trying to like transmogrify it into a
Speaker 1: whole different species or critter that just doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1: Something Well, I like where you went here because I
Speaker 1: think the same thing, right, Like, dude, if you're a vegetarian,
Speaker 1: you're a vegan, do your thing. You have no problem
Speaker 1: with that. That's that's totally fine. But I mean I
Speaker 1: even have some friends or or like the wives of
Speaker 1: friends who are vegetarians, Like, Okay, you have a barbecue,
Speaker 1: they bring their own veggie burger. I get it, core fine, whatever,
Speaker 1: rock and Roll, it's the raw tuna the sushi that
Speaker 1: gets me, because to me, that's like something I might
Speaker 1: order out or back in the land before time when
Speaker 1: you could eat in a restaurant, like I would go
Speaker 1: to a nice sushi restaurant for sushi. So it's just
Speaker 1: such like a like a niche food to begin with,
Speaker 1: like a special treat. It's not something you eat as
Speaker 1: readily as a burger or a vegan hot dog or
Speaker 1: whatever it is you need to have. So like, who
Speaker 1: is buying that for when? Like are you buying fake
Speaker 1: raw tuna to make sushi? Play adders at home? Are
Speaker 1: you having that on hands so that when all your
Speaker 1: friends want to order sushi out, like you feel like
Speaker 1: part of the team. Because if if the ships tomato
Speaker 1: based and you're a vegetarian, why not make something out
Speaker 1: of some delicious slices of fresh tomato? Yeah, I would
Speaker 1: be off. I would far prefer to have fresh tomato
Speaker 1: sushi than fake fish sushi. Personally, that's a good I mean,
Speaker 1: I know they I mean, I know the mayo doesn't jive,
Speaker 1: and I'm certainly not a vegetarian, but I eat fresh
Speaker 1: tomato sandwiches like every day in the summer. Fels good tomatoes, bread, tomato, mayo,
Speaker 1: salt and pepper. Done. But here's here's what I will
Speaker 1: say to get back to the point, I'll say one
Speaker 1: other thing. I would probably eat the fake veggie sushi
Speaker 1: over a gas station sushi roll. That's that is the
Speaker 1: place where I think I would take the veggie one
Speaker 1: over the fish one. I mean, that's that's a place
Speaker 1: where I just will not get my sushi is from
Speaker 1: a gas station. Alright, personal pride. I had a few,
Speaker 1: I've had a few crunchy tuna rolls from the Circle
Speaker 1: K dude, and they were fine. I'm here, I'm here,
Speaker 1: I live to talk about it here I am. I'm
Speaker 1: not judging. I'm just saying, like personal opinion, that's that's
Speaker 1: where I might That is the one situation where I
Speaker 1: might pick the fake option is to check the date. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you just gotta check the date. That's all right. So
Speaker 1: this is kind of nice. You set me up pretty
Speaker 1: well to transition from one questionable seafood product to another.
Speaker 1: And I learned something this week, Joe, have you ever
Speaker 1: heard of a loser fish? Now? Now I've never. Now
Speaker 1: I'm trying so hard, ah man, I'm just not witty
Speaker 1: enough in this moment, and I'm like mad at myself. No,
Speaker 1: I don't know what to lose your fish. I didn't either,
Speaker 1: but it's an actual industry term that salmon farms used
Speaker 1: to describe up to a quarter of the fish that
Speaker 1: they produce losers. I call all farm ray salmon losers,
Speaker 1: Like I don't farm ray. We're gonna get there. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So the loserfish are the salmon that, although technically healthy,
Speaker 1: acts sluggish, have stunted growth and displayed little interest in food.
Speaker 1: And a two thousand and sixteen study from the Royal
Speaker 1: Society of Open Science looked at farmed Atlantic salmon brains
Speaker 1: and found that these loser fish have constant elevated levels
Speaker 1: of cortisol, which is a hormone that vertebrates release when
Speaker 1: they're under stress. Cortisol is a good thing in the
Speaker 1: right circumstances, right, Cortisol helps trigger the fight or flight response,
Speaker 1: which is important for wild salmon because you know, they
Speaker 1: got to outrun orcas and seals and sea lions and
Speaker 1: sharks and and although the punish, yeah exactly. The cortisol
Speaker 1: response also helps them make the upstream migrations that salmon
Speaker 1: are famous for, like you know all those those those
Speaker 1: nature videos of salmon majestically leaping up over waterfalls and
Speaker 1: getting away from bears. Yeah, it's the cool that helps
Speaker 1: them fly. But a constant bombardment of stress hormones, it's
Speaker 1: just not good. It's not good for the brain. It
Speaker 1: is not over the body. Many of us are experiencing
Speaker 1: that right now. The constant level of stress apparently turns
Speaker 1: normal farm salmon into depressed losers. They're they're so wigged
Speaker 1: out all the time that they don't even respond to
Speaker 1: the standard stress test for freaking out of fish, which
Speaker 1: I learned is to just pick one up and drop
Speaker 1: it into a bucket of water. That's the scientific industry
Speaker 1: standard first stressing out of fish. Researchers theorized that these smaller,
Speaker 1: weaker fish forced to live in overcrowded pens with bigger,
Speaker 1: aggressive fish without the possibility of escape, they just can't.
Speaker 1: They just can't handle that light level of negativity. Man,
Speaker 1: they give up on life, they stop eating and wait
Speaker 1: to die, which they do. In addition to depression, farm
Speaker 1: salmon are also prone to deafness, scleiosis, obesity, and licenfestations.
Speaker 1: And all right, listen, even if you don't give a
Speaker 1: shit about salmon welfare, and frankly, I can't talk because
Speaker 1: I've personally killed thousands of salmon as part of my job.
Speaker 1: But salmon farms are a bad deal. Those massive sea
Speaker 1: liight's infestations that they create spread to wild fish populations,
Speaker 1: as do the plumes of antibiotics salmon farms have to
Speaker 1: use to keep their fish from dying of infections. Salmon
Speaker 1: escape from netpens and can wreak havoc on wildfish and
Speaker 1: mess up delicate ecosystems like that time in when two
Speaker 1: hundred and sixty three thousand Atlantic salmon got free and
Speaker 1: Puget Sound, Washington, you know the Pacific Ocean where Atlantic
Speaker 1: salmon aren't supposed to live. So bottom line, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: steal a line that Grundin's used to use back in
Speaker 1: the day, quote friends don't let friends eat farmed fish. Alright,
Speaker 1: eat all the wild fish you want. But are salmon
Speaker 1: stocks have enough issues without being contaminated by pens full
Speaker 1: of losers? So the loser fish are they? Maybe I
Speaker 1: missed this, but are they deemed like not fit for
Speaker 1: concerned shin and then and then pulled out and wasted
Speaker 1: or they don't even grow, like they won't grow, they're
Speaker 1: so depressed they don't eat, they don't grow, they just die.
Speaker 1: They die of depression. And that's of all farmed salmon.
Speaker 1: Oh man, it's it's like it's like some of the
Speaker 1: dudes I used to play in bands with, like they're
Speaker 1: still just sitting around wishing, wishing we'd stuck it out
Speaker 1: on the hardcore scene, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think all a lot of us have have some
Speaker 1: high school friends that wound up in the loser fish population,
Speaker 1: you know. But uh, I don't want to eat them. Yeah. Well, hey,
Speaker 1: look I won't come down and if you, if you,
Speaker 1: if you buy the huge pack of frozen salmon file
Speaker 1: AT's at Sam's Club, I mean, it is what it is.
Speaker 1: It's not my jam. Once you taste, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: a salmon out of salt water from Alaska specifically, like
Speaker 1: before it ever hit the rivers, you'll never you'll never
Speaker 1: look back. Yep, you will, just you know. But I'm
Speaker 1: not a big trout die anyway. But you know, Okay,
Speaker 1: So man, I'm trying to think of a good good
Speaker 1: segue here. I don't have one because I'm going in
Speaker 1: a way different direction farm salmon. So uh, here's here's
Speaker 1: one of those stories, um where I think we we
Speaker 1: stretched the parameters of fishing, which we're allowed to do
Speaker 1: here because this is our show and we can do
Speaker 1: whatever we want. Um. This one is about magnet fishing.
Speaker 1: You know what that is? What is magnet? I have
Speaker 1: no idea what this is? What is it? No? No, no,
Speaker 1: that's that's something they do over in Europe. I think
Speaker 1: over here you just tie a big magnet off to
Speaker 1: a rope and throw it in water and drag it
Speaker 1: around and try and find stuff. So it's exactly what
Speaker 1: it sounds like. It's like the subsurface version of those
Speaker 1: people with the metal detectors on the beach. It's like
Speaker 1: they've moved out into the water. Yeah well they yeah,
Speaker 1: or these are people who can't afford a metal detector
Speaker 1: but they can buy a magnet. And quick aside, before
Speaker 1: I dive into this, um, I dabble though very lightly,
Speaker 1: in magnet fishing, which you may not have known, and
Speaker 1: now you do. Um And and just to save face
Speaker 1: because it's kind of a dorky hobby, this is purely
Speaker 1: a COVID slash quarantine related thing. Okay. It started with
Speaker 1: extra time to sit around and watch YouTube and I
Speaker 1: got sucked in by this dude that he goes by
Speaker 1: the fissure and he's this spacstick cat from somewhere in
Speaker 1: the Midwest, and he just goes nuts every time. He's
Speaker 1: always on bridges, and he's finding all kinds of weird
Speaker 1: stuff and and every time you find something, he's like,
Speaker 1: what the heck is this guy's what is that thing? Right?
Speaker 1: And I got sucked in by this stuff on on YouTube?
Speaker 1: And then if you factor in what felt like license
Speaker 1: to buy anything you wanted on Amazon during quarantine to
Speaker 1: make yourself feel better, like eating ice cream after you
Speaker 1: just got dumped, right, that that is why I now
Speaker 1: own some magnet fishing equipment. Okay, So they're like this
Speaker 1: was this was like cathartic almost, Okay. I thought, like,
Speaker 1: I'm not really traveling. I can't go junking because of COVID,
Speaker 1: So this makes sense. And uh, so far a hundred
Speaker 1: and thirty dollar investment has found me two screws, five
Speaker 1: nuts in a bicycle chain. That is what I've gotten
Speaker 1: out of this. Um. I kind of lost I kind
Speaker 1: of lost the fire for it and realized that if
Speaker 1: I had free time to magnet fish, I should probably
Speaker 1: just fish fish, which is also safer because this story
Speaker 1: comes to us from Fox six Milwaukee headline. Person magnet
Speaker 1: fishing in beaver Dam recovers grenade that was probably live.
Speaker 1: What so, Yeah, did you did you just say grenade?
Speaker 1: Make it throw in war? Yes, that you would throw
Speaker 1: in war, hopefully at the people fighting you. It wasn't
Speaker 1: like a weird you know, foxhole accident or something. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: but beaver Dam police say a person who was magnet
Speaker 1: fishing near a dam on Madison Street. It might have
Speaker 1: been this dude, he's always like out in public in
Speaker 1: the middle of a city recovered a grenade that was
Speaker 1: later determined to be real and potentially potentially quote live.
Speaker 1: A Facebook post from the beaver Dam Department said contact
Speaker 1: was aid with the Dane County Bomb Squad to discuss
Speaker 1: the proper procedure to dispose of the grenade. After seeing
Speaker 1: photos of the grenade and speaking with the beaver Dam
Speaker 1: Police Department supervisors, they determined that they would send a
Speaker 1: team out to assist in the disposal of the grenade.
Speaker 1: Due to the degradation of the grenade from being in
Speaker 1: the water for quite some time, the bomb squad was
Speaker 1: unable to confirm if it was actually live without further testing,
Speaker 1: but they felt it was necessary, I would hope, so
Speaker 1: to take precautions for everyone's safety, and they closed the
Speaker 1: bridge down for two hours while they got rid of
Speaker 1: this grenade in Wisconsin. I have a few thoughts on this, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of speechless other than trying to put myself
Speaker 1: in the in the shoes of this magnet fisherman bringing
Speaker 1: up like, well, this is this is the thing, and
Speaker 1: this is this is why, like I'm a loser fish
Speaker 1: in the magnet fishing world because you realize later that
Speaker 1: you watch these magnet fishing things and they're only showing
Speaker 1: you when they a fine cool shit. They don't show
Speaker 1: you the nine hours in four days where they found
Speaker 1: two screws, five nuts in one bicycle chain. Like I
Speaker 1: have right, but I do. I do have a couple
Speaker 1: of thoughts on this, right So to start, this is frightening.
Speaker 1: And while they don't know, they haven't said whether it
Speaker 1: was or was not a live grenade, But if it was,
Speaker 1: where did that come from? So that's mitually number one?
Speaker 1: How is there a live grenade? But I do have
Speaker 1: another theory because I, like you are a child of
Speaker 1: the late eighties and early nineties, so hear me out
Speaker 1: on this. When I was growing up, there was an
Speaker 1: Army Navy surplus store in the Franklin Mills Mall in
Speaker 1: Philadelphia called I Goldberg's, and you could buy all the
Speaker 1: grenades you wanted in there. They were literally bins full
Speaker 1: of grenades. Now, of course they weren't live. The holes
Speaker 1: were drilled out, so they were disabled and could never
Speaker 1: be made live. But they were real Vietnam air grenades
Speaker 1: with the clip and the pin and the hole works,
Speaker 1: and they were like three bucks a pop, and I
Speaker 1: could We'll see them in the huge crates in that store,
Speaker 1: and I had at least half a dozen. Guarantee. There
Speaker 1: are still some kicking around at my mom's house. My
Speaker 1: dad had one of those, and I used to play
Speaker 1: with it all the time, so I know exactly what
Speaker 1: you're talking about. It was clearly not live, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. But so those grenades would be drilled out,
Speaker 1: and they know they have a hole at the center.
Speaker 1: But you figure, if this thing is sitting there for
Speaker 1: years and it's all full of sludge and muck and
Speaker 1: that hole is filled in, you wouldn't know. So I
Speaker 1: mean I don't know, man. Of course, that was back
Speaker 1: in the like like what I consider the last days
Speaker 1: of when like kids were men, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like we'd be at the mom we'd be at the
Speaker 1: mom my mom would be like, oh, honey, didn't you
Speaker 1: tell me you needed more grenades? You know, if you're
Speaker 1: good this year, maybe Sandon will put a few more
Speaker 1: grenades in your stocking. You know. It was back in
Speaker 1: the day when toys r us had to sign pointing
Speaker 1: to the arsenal aisle. You know, you remember that with
Speaker 1: the cobras on the grips, not the dragons, you know, yeah, like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna have bb gun war, only one pump
Speaker 1: and close your eyes when they're shooting at your face. Chunk, chunk, chunk,
Speaker 1: one pump my ass fifteen at least break a little skin.
Speaker 1: But those are those were good time. So that's what
Speaker 1: popped into my head. Maybe it's maybe it wasn't a
Speaker 1: live grenade. Maybe it's just a relic from an era
Speaker 1: that's not the COVID era when kids still went outside
Speaker 1: and and and played army. And for the record, once
Speaker 1: I get my magnet fishing game dialed in, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: find a whole grenade launcher like the one Pasha used
Speaker 1: in Predator Mark my words, come on out. We'll do.
Speaker 1: We'll magnet fish together. It'll be fun. Oh that sounds terrible.
Speaker 1: I'd rather go real fishing. But I'll say this, if
Speaker 1: anybody out there finds out like before we do, if
Speaker 1: it you know, they determine if it was live or not,
Speaker 1: let us know, give us an update because we want
Speaker 1: to know. Um, I'm gonna kind of stick with with
Speaker 1: lawlessness on the water for for the last piece here.
Speaker 1: I like it. Last last week, two Louisiana men one
Speaker 1: local bass fishing tournament, but their glory was quickly tarnished
Speaker 1: after they were arrested for fishing contest fraud. Alright now, now,
Speaker 1: cheating and bass tournaments is nothing new. We've covered it
Speaker 1: Meteor just like every other fishing media outlets. So the
Speaker 1: cheating part is not what caught my eye. That's just
Speaker 1: standard protocol. It's the arrest part. These guys are facing
Speaker 1: up to three thousand dollars in fines and a year
Speaker 1: in jail because they fished outside of the tournament boundaries.
Speaker 1: They didn't even leave the lake, they just left the boundaries.
Speaker 1: And this is not like one of those big national
Speaker 1: b ass Elite Series tournaments. We're talking about a local
Speaker 1: club tournament. They take their fishing tournaments seriously down there,
Speaker 1: and so they got me wondering about penal codes related
Speaker 1: to fishing tournaments. And apparently Louisiana is not the only
Speaker 1: state where cheating in a fishing tournament can get you
Speaker 1: locked up. So this is like one of those weird
Speaker 1: old laws thing you didn't know existed anymore, Like you
Speaker 1: can't ride a horse town on Sunday. It's not old, right,
Speaker 1: Like this is actually relatively recent. Getting caught breaking tournament rules,
Speaker 1: like fishing tournament rules in Texas is considered either a
Speaker 1: Class A misdemeanor or a third degree felony, depending on
Speaker 1: the size of the prize at stake. And no, it's
Speaker 1: not one of those old like laws just takes up
Speaker 1: space on the pedo coade nobody knows about. This has
Speaker 1: been enforced several times just in the last couple of
Speaker 1: years in the lone Star state. And side note, but
Speaker 1: weird one Texas tournament anglers seem to be cutters. They
Speaker 1: have a habit of tail chopping. In one case, a
Speaker 1: guy named Terry Keith Long was fishing good tournament on
Speaker 1: Lake Fork and and on Lake Fork, fish between sixteen
Speaker 1: and twenty four inches must be immediately released back in
Speaker 1: the lake, and they don't count for points. So Terry
Speaker 1: he catches himself like a sixteen and a half inch
Speaker 1: or and he decides, you know, maybe I'll just trim.
Speaker 1: I'll just take a half inch off with some scissors
Speaker 1: and call it good and no one's gonna notice. But
Speaker 1: hold on, wait, yeah, it gets weirder. Another case involved
Speaker 1: a kayak tournament and since kayaks don't have live wells,
Speaker 1: competitors take pictures of their fish on approved measuring boards
Speaker 1: and then let them go. Well, this guy, Brent Taylor,
Speaker 1: he must have felt like he needed a couple extra
Speaker 1: inches to stay competitive. So what do he decided to do?
Speaker 1: Was he cut the whole tail off of a bass,
Speaker 1: moved it a few inches down the ruler, and put
Speaker 1: his hand over the missing section as if you were
Speaker 1: just kind of holding the fish in place so it
Speaker 1: didn't flop around on the measuring board. Mr. Sneaky man,
Speaker 1: But but he's you kind of sneaky. But guess where
Speaker 1: he screwed up? He kept the tail. They found the
Speaker 1: tail in his kayak, and that was how they busted.
Speaker 1: Oh man, that's a little Darwin. It's a little Darwin
Speaker 1: over and and all these guys were arrested and charged
Speaker 1: under the Fraud in Fishing Tournaments legal Code. Uh So,
Speaker 1: from what I could dig up, only Texas and Louisiana
Speaker 1: have actual laws about fishing tournament fraud. But to be
Speaker 1: to be clear here, I couldn't like find a database
Speaker 1: about laws pertaining the fishing tournaments. So any of you
Speaker 1: out there, if you know of other states that have
Speaker 1: actual statutes on the books about cheating and fishing tournaments,
Speaker 1: please let us know, because I'm genuinely interested in how
Speaker 1: common those are. Like, I want to know how many
Speaker 1: states had to write laws about fishing tournament cheaters. See,
Speaker 1: I had no idea, man, I mean it kind of
Speaker 1: it kind of fits like with the good old boys
Speaker 1: in the South, Like you know, you don't you don't
Speaker 1: mess with a fishing tournament down there, But I don't.
Speaker 1: I fished one two tournaments in my entire life. One
Speaker 1: was pure fun and bragging rights. One had money on
Speaker 1: the line. I regretted it. So I'm not really into
Speaker 1: tournament fishing, so I wouldn't have known these things. But um,
Speaker 1: I mean, so the guys who who they were trying
Speaker 1: to who got arrested, were they being jerks about that
Speaker 1: or was it like, oh hey man, sorry, I didn't
Speaker 1: know that we were crossing the line. Like what like
Speaker 1: is it like drunk driving? Yeah? Is it like drunk
Speaker 1: driving where it's like no questions asked, like you did
Speaker 1: this and you're going down. You know. I couldn't find
Speaker 1: that kind of in depth coverage. No one interviewed them
Speaker 1: about their their intentions. But I'm gonna guess that they
Speaker 1: clearly knew the rules, they clearly broke them, and they
Speaker 1: won the tournament. People were passed, So I think I
Speaker 1: think they knew what they weren't supposed to do and
Speaker 1: they did it knowingly. Otherwise, you know, it was an
Speaker 1: honest mistake. They would have stripped I assumed they would
Speaker 1: have stripped him of the wind, but that would have
Speaker 1: been the end. But no, they called authorities and these
Speaker 1: guys might go to jail for a year. See, and
Speaker 1: you're gonna you're gonna you could end up in jail
Speaker 1: over a green bass. This is why I say fish
Speaker 1: for snakeheads people. Okay, there's no there's no one, no
Speaker 1: laws and snakeheads. You can do whatever you want, you know,
Speaker 1: don't don't you You killed ten snakeheads. Wherever you want,
Speaker 1: they'll throw you a parade around here. All right, it's
Speaker 1: time for Phil to weigh in and crown this week's champion. Phil.
Speaker 1: Come on, man, you know who brought the goods? Give
Speaker 1: it up? And uh and and then we're going straight
Speaker 1: from the front page news the classifieds as we dig
Speaker 1: into the sale bin Miles. I thought about making a
Speaker 1: loser fish joke here, but that would have been too obvious.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but you could not compete with Joe's tomato
Speaker 1: tuna and possibly but probably not, live grenades. Our winner
Speaker 1: this week again is Joe Surmelie Miles. That makes you
Speaker 1: over two. I'm so sorry. I do not make the rules. Um,
Speaker 1: actually I do, but just remember there are no small
Speaker 1: fish news stories, only small fish news podcast hosts, which
Speaker 1: you are not because you are a rather tall man.
Speaker 1: Please don't beat me up. Why did you put the
Speaker 1: hand to pay You don't know what I'm getting, man,
Speaker 1: What you didn't have to be so hurtful with me,
Speaker 1: so angry, it seems like people love to buy and
Speaker 1: sell used crap on the internet, and you know, fishing
Speaker 1: gear is no exception. In this segment, we profile some
Speaker 1: fishing related item we found for sale online. And just
Speaker 1: like in all craigslis crawling, it is only interesting because
Speaker 1: it's terrible. Today's there's no exception. Okay. This one comes
Speaker 1: to us from let go twenty four dollars and the
Speaker 1: title of the post is just fishing weights. Now the
Speaker 1: magic of this better good fishing waits for bucks. The
Speaker 1: h the long description is the clincher here, But before
Speaker 1: we get to that, we just have to describe what
Speaker 1: we're looking at. So we have a case here, a long,
Speaker 1: skinny case with a handle and a hang tag for
Speaker 1: a pegboard on one end. And this was obviously repurposed.
Speaker 1: I don't I can't put my finger on exactly what
Speaker 1: this case was originally made for. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you have any thoughts there. I'm gonna guess that it
Speaker 1: was originally made for fasteners of some kind, bolts and nuts,
Speaker 1: something like a really really cheap tiny toolbox. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: I like that. And it is absolutely beat to yet, okay,
Speaker 1: and in it in the few compartments. We have a
Speaker 1: bunch of clearly used, like pre made steel leader saltwater
Speaker 1: hook rings all coiled up. Yeah, that looked like they
Speaker 1: would take you at least an hour to disentangle them all. Correct.
Speaker 1: There are exactly five clearly used eight ounce bank sinkers,
Speaker 1: one of which has a little piece of what looks
Speaker 1: like four pound test like a little bit clipment, just
Speaker 1: got a little little pigtail. And there's there's one, there's
Speaker 1: one completely empty container, and then and there's also two
Speaker 1: croppy sized micro clearly use curly tail grubs, one shark
Speaker 1: trus one will call root beer. Uh. And this is
Speaker 1: twenty four dollars. That's what this will cost you. But
Speaker 1: here's the description. I'm gonna read it verbatim, but before
Speaker 1: you get there, Joe, I have to I just have
Speaker 1: to jump in. I'm sorry to cut you off, but
Speaker 1: what's for me? What's such a head scratcher on this is?
Speaker 1: I want to know whose fishing kit this was and
Speaker 1: what they were fishing for? In what circumstance do you
Speaker 1: need steal leaders, eight ounce bank waits, croppy curly tail jigs,
Speaker 1: and no hooks. Yeah, none of these, none of these
Speaker 1: things really so incongruous. How did these things wind up
Speaker 1: in a box together? None of it makes any sense
Speaker 1: to me? Well, I don't have the answer to that
Speaker 1: that we did correspond with this seller. We'll get to
Speaker 1: that in a minute. Okay, because this description. Okay, so
Speaker 1: five pieces of eight ounce weights equal sign seventy five
Speaker 1: dollars through one hundred bucks. So that right out of
Speaker 1: the gate is uh that math math? I don't know
Speaker 1: where we're getting that. Two hooks and fishing line and
Speaker 1: to fake worms for fishing. Now here we go. Come
Speaker 1: with the case to you hang it, lay it down,
Speaker 1: or stand it up for you own convenience. Enjoy your
Speaker 1: summer with this kit, im and get it before someone
Speaker 1: beat you to it. That is the description of this product.
Speaker 1: Summer with this kit, you won't have any hooks, but
Speaker 1: boy can get those crappy jigs to the bottom fast.
Speaker 1: So I did the jerky thing and I wrote, Hello,
Speaker 1: interesting kit. Do you think i'd be able to use
Speaker 1: these items for trout? I'm just starting to get into
Speaker 1: trout fishing in your area. Okay, Now you just heard
Speaker 1: the grammar in the description, and here's what I got
Speaker 1: back in four minutes. Usually a rod and reel well
Speaker 1: suited for a mainline in the four to eight pound
Speaker 1: test range will serve you well for trout fishing. And
Speaker 1: also we'll get the job done for other popular freshwater
Speaker 1: species such as bass and panfish. In perfect grammar. And
Speaker 1: I just cut and paste it into my search box.
Speaker 1: And it was straight out of a Google article called
Speaker 1: trout fishing basis. Yeah, so he just he just he
Speaker 1: just cut that right out of a Google answer. I
Speaker 1: can I give credit for that. That was actually pretty clever.
Speaker 1: I was like, that was slick. That was slick. You're
Speaker 1: you're dancing around. You have no idea, but good, good move,
Speaker 1: no doubt. Followed up by to each their own th
Speaker 1: h E R E you have to find what weights
Speaker 1: you like best. Followed up with However, for this little
Speaker 1: amount of money I'm asking for the kid, it's a
Speaker 1: win win for you regardless. R E g U A
Speaker 1: R D L E S S regards. Ye got it,
Speaker 1: he sounded it out. He sounded it out. So um
Speaker 1: fishing kit twenty four bucks. Enjoy, enjoy your summer, my friends,
Speaker 1: save a little cash. I mean, let's be honest, those
Speaker 1: eight stinkers are no more than seventy cents apiece, not seventy.
Speaker 1: But the thing is that kind of markup, that's that's
Speaker 1: the kind of thing you usually only find in fly
Speaker 1: fishing gear, you know what I mean. Like, And that's
Speaker 1: that's an unfortunate truth because it gives fly fishing a
Speaker 1: bad rap. But the truth is that fly fishing doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be that much more expensive than conventional fishing.
Speaker 1: And in this week's tackle hack, our good friend Tim
Speaker 1: Romano is gonna tell you how you can save yourself
Speaker 1: some cash on fly floating. I'm getting hats coming from
Speaker 1: inside the city like the flood at Tim Romano. How
Speaker 1: you doing, buddy, I'm doing okay. It's kind of a loaded,
Speaker 1: loaded question these days, but I'm okay. These days it
Speaker 1: sure is. But we're not gonna think about all that
Speaker 1: bad stuff. We're gonna think about the good times ahead.
Speaker 1: And you're gonna drop some knowledge on us, uh, specifically
Speaker 1: for the dry fly fisherman. You've got a hell of
Speaker 1: a trick here, tell tell us all about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's a trick. It's um basically, all those
Speaker 1: little fancy dry fly floatings you spend I don't know
Speaker 1: five tens on you can buy those and they're great
Speaker 1: and they work really well, or you can google up
Speaker 1: fletching powder, which I didn't even know what that was
Speaker 1: because I'm not an archery guy. I'm sure some of
Speaker 1: your listeners will know exactly what I'm talking about, but um,
Speaker 1: it comes in quantities like ten fifteen times what you
Speaker 1: can buy at the fly shop for dry shake, and
Speaker 1: it's basically the exact same thing. Yeah, I believe you
Speaker 1: use this stuff. You put it on your fletching to
Speaker 1: keep them dry so they don't get water logged, like
Speaker 1: if you're out in the rain, right right, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: And you're saying that's a good substitute for like a
Speaker 1: frog's fannie or something like that. Yeah, it doesn't. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think about that. They're all slightly different, right,
Speaker 1: but they're basically just a descent powder. What I've the
Speaker 1: little bit of research I've done, I think it's actually
Speaker 1: called hydrophobic food. You telling me how to pronounce this
Speaker 1: f you m eat food, hydrophobic food food silica. It
Speaker 1: was perfect. So yeah, it's you just have way larger
Speaker 1: quantities and it's you know, literally like one tenth of
Speaker 1: the cost. So you just refill your empty frogs, fanny
Speaker 1: or whatever with that stuff. Yeah, like whatever container you
Speaker 1: like using, Um, keep it. I will say it's supposedly
Speaker 1: non toxic, but you definitely don't want to breathe that crap.
Speaker 1: Don't blow a line of it, correct, Um, I mean
Speaker 1: you can try. I didn't tell you to do that, though.
Speaker 1: What I do sometimes instead of pouring it from bottle
Speaker 1: to bottle, which can be really messy, I would suggest
Speaker 1: putting it in like a zip block or a thin
Speaker 1: plastic bag, so you can basically put the corner of
Speaker 1: that bag in and then just kind of tap it
Speaker 1: in slowly, because if you try to pour from bottle
Speaker 1: to bottle, that's a complete mess. And generally speaking, when
Speaker 1: you're fishing alone, do you shake it hard or medium
Speaker 1: or just a little bit depends on the day. Salt dude,
Speaker 1: that's a that's a legitimately good hack, right, And yeah,
Speaker 1: I know the last time I went and bought a
Speaker 1: bottle of that fancy Japanese dry shake, I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: I came up short on rent the next month. That
Speaker 1: stuff is expensive, man, I know, I know. The thing
Speaker 1: is it's anything right, anything that says fly fishing on it.
Speaker 1: You can at least double the price, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Like I can get a spool of flora
Speaker 1: carbon too, spool of spinning reel pretty cheap, but then
Speaker 1: you get a miniature tippet spool of the ship at
Speaker 1: the fly shop, it's like a four hundred mark up.
Speaker 1: And this is a problem. This is a I believe,
Speaker 1: I believe, I believe. Smarter people call this a barrier
Speaker 1: to entry. Yeah it is, it is, and it's part
Speaker 1: of what gives fly fishing a bad rap, it really is,
Speaker 1: because everyone's like, oh, what kind of chump would spend
Speaker 1: that much money online? And I don't know, by the
Speaker 1: regular stuff, by the pa line. That's what I always do. Yep,
Speaker 1: me too. But I'm here to tell you all of
Speaker 1: you that you don't actually have to be rich or
Speaker 1: be a sucker to get into the long rod game.
Speaker 1: It's a ton of fun and you don't need to
Speaker 1: drop two grand to do it. We are we're gonna
Speaker 1: stick with the steam that every Man's fly fishing theme
Speaker 1: to close out this week's show with our end of
Speaker 1: the line segment. Well it's not loud enough, rubber Legs Pats,
Speaker 1: Rubbie pickle jimmy legs. No matter what you call it,
Speaker 1: the Pats rubber legs is one of the greatest fly
Speaker 1: patterns ever conceived. I call it a turd for reasons
Speaker 1: that are obvious if you've ever seen one, But the
Speaker 1: pattern is actually named after its inventor, Pat Bennett and
Speaker 1: the assortment of splade jigglie rubber legs that hang off
Speaker 1: of it. Right now, all the Western trout guys out
Speaker 1: there like du everybody even knows about the turd fly?
Speaker 1: Bro Well, no, everybody you hang out with knows about
Speaker 1: turd flies. But I'm willing to bet that at least
Speaker 1: half of the people listening to this have no idea
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. And I'm pretty sure you guys
Speaker 1: don't know the history of that fly you love so much.
Speaker 1: So listen up. Imagine a Toddler's crayon drawing of a
Speaker 1: caterpillar with a hook hanging out of the ass, and
Speaker 1: you'll have some idea of what a Pats rubber legs
Speaker 1: looks like. It's a long shank took somewhere around a
Speaker 1: size four, wrapped with fuzzy brown or black or alive
Speaker 1: shanil with six or eight or ten or however man
Speaker 1: you feel like putting on their little rubber legs dangling
Speaker 1: around the edges. As with most fly designs, the paths
Speaker 1: rubber legs is really just a slightly altered rip off
Speaker 1: of a pre existing pattern. The original that spawned the
Speaker 1: modern turd was the girdle bug, invented by a guy
Speaker 1: named Frank McGuinness of Anaconda, Montana in the early nineteen thirties.
Speaker 1: Back then, fly tying materials didn't exist. People tied flies
Speaker 1: out of whatever feathers or other ship the head laying around.
Speaker 1: Turns out McGuinness was a true pioneer when it came
Speaker 1: to creative materials for dressing flies. See Frontier women were
Speaker 1: known for their toughness and resilience, but not so much
Speaker 1: for their spelt physiques, if you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: That said, even the pioneer gals like to get dolled
Speaker 1: up once a while and hit the town, and back
Speaker 1: then that meant smushing their midsections into constrictive shape enforcing
Speaker 1: garments called girdles. Girdles were some of the first articles
Speaker 1: of clothing to employ elastic bands, and legend has it
Speaker 1: that when McGuinness saw some of those little white strings
Speaker 1: of supple elastic poking out of his wife's well worn undergarments.
Speaker 1: He got inspired, only probably not in the way she
Speaker 1: was hoping. He figured those little white bands would look
Speaker 1: damn good his legs or antennae on wet flies, so
Speaker 1: it caught off a few, paired them with some black
Speaker 1: chanel he stole from her sewing kit, and bam, one
Speaker 1: of the world's greatest fish fooling inventions was born. A
Speaker 1: half century later, the girdle bug got upgraded with new
Speaker 1: colors and synthetic materials and became the ubiquitous trout catcher
Speaker 1: we know today. Simplicity is a virtue in fly design.
Speaker 1: Spending forty minutes crafting a perfectly proportioned work of bug art,
Speaker 1: only too s app it off on the second cast sucks.
Speaker 1: Turd Flies consist of three materials four if you add weight.
Speaker 1: Good tires can whip these out in a couple of
Speaker 1: minutes flat, no matter how many empty PBR cans are
Speaker 1: scattered around the vice. Turds work in any river with
Speaker 1: populations of stone flies. Stone Flies are found on every
Speaker 1: continent except Antarctica, and are as irresistible to trout as
Speaker 1: waffle house hash Browns are Southerners. Turns don't look all
Speaker 1: that much like real stone flies. You can find dozens
Speaker 1: of other patterns that look a whole hell of a
Speaker 1: lot more like the real thing. They have perfect abdomen,
Speaker 1: the thorax proportions, detailed modeling on the wing cases, articulated legs.
Speaker 1: They look like they might just crawl out of your
Speaker 1: box and join one of the annual stream side orgies
Speaker 1: that stone flies have after they hatch. Problem is, those
Speaker 1: realistic flies don't really work, at least not for me.
Speaker 1: Maybe fish appreciate simplicity too, or maybe they're just dumber
Speaker 1: than we think. Turds are the ultimate guide fly. Simple,
Speaker 1: fast and cheap to make, but deadly effective. Even if
Speaker 1: you've never tied to fly in your life. You can
Speaker 1: wrap up three or four of these and a half
Speaker 1: an hour and they will catch fish. So go buy
Speaker 1: yourself some Shaniel rubber legs, long shank hooks, maybe a
Speaker 1: six pack or two. Now is as good as time
Speaker 1: as any to learn how to tie flies, and turds
Speaker 1: are as good a fly as any to learn on.
Speaker 1: So if we're recapping, Hank Patterson is apparently still alive.
Speaker 1: And well, uh, Time on the Water is the l
Speaker 1: a punk band version of muskie literature. I've got a
Speaker 1: new bar to hit up on my home turf and
Speaker 1: fly fishing. As it turns out, shocker, after all these
Speaker 1: years of research, isn't just for rich people, true story.
Speaker 1: Carry those bullet points of brilliance into the weekend and
Speaker 1: do some good with them. Maybe even catch a fisher too.
Speaker 1: And and if you do, tell us about it, send
Speaker 1: us an email at bent at the meat Eater dot com.
Speaker 1: Tell us what's great, tell us what sucks, tell us
Speaker 1: all the reasons why we should never be allowed to
Speaker 1: host a podcast again. And I'm going to head over
Speaker 1: to St. George's pub with the copy of Time on
Speaker 1: the Water that I stole from your bookshelf and do
Speaker 1: me a little quality reading. Son of a bitch, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna piss off my whole family by reliving my high
Speaker 1: school angsty days and blasting some classic Descendants cuts. See
Speaker 1: you next week.