WEBVTT - Mind Right, A$$ Tight 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:02.840 Native Land Pod is a production of iHeartRadio in partnership 0:00:02.880 --> 0:00:04.359 with Resent Choice Media. 0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:07.560 Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, welcome, Welcome. 0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:14.040 Home, y'all, this is this week. Okay, hello Andrew. 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:17.120 Your low energy, we welcome home, new episode. 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:22.560 All right, so, uh Max is back unfrozen and we 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:24.759 are all here to welcome you home. Tip would you 0:00:24.880 --> 0:00:26.800 also like to give it a high energy? Said? 0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:28.840 Welcome home, guys, welcome home. 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:32.959 Rasp it. I'm getting over to flu still. I'm sorry 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:36.440 you said you not make fun of my shortcomings and 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:39.800 my faults. I started printing a document. Hopefully you guys 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:43.680 can't hear that in the microphone. You can doll up 0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:50.280 now you cannot hear anyway. So I'm welcoming you home. 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:54.520 To this week's mini pod. We are talking about health 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:57.880 and commitments in the new year. Andrew made a revelatory 0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:02.120 reveal that was very duplicitous and not what I meant 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:06.440 to say, But he shared on our last podcast that 0:01:06.720 --> 0:01:09.160 he has a change of heart about resolutions. I want 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:11.000 to hear all about it, and I want to tell 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:14.240 you about the ones that I made some by course, 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:16.320 so I want to hear I want. 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:18.640 To hear no I didn't know when you were in 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:21.480 La and we were talking about and I actually it 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:23.040 came to me as we were sitting there talking about, 0:01:23.080 --> 0:01:26.360 like why don't I make these things anymore? And it 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:29.120 dawn on me like I'm not making resolutions anymore because 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:33.639 I end up disappointed at myself for not having accomplished something, 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:37.720 and it feels like it has the reverse effect of 0:01:37.760 --> 0:01:44.160 what it should. And truth, I don't know if you've heard. 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:45.800 I'm not going to give a total shout out, but 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:49.919 but but my theme for the year is an adaptation 0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:54.640 on this book that I completed called. 0:01:54.280 --> 0:01:55.639 The Way Is Through. 0:01:56.920 --> 0:02:02.040 And what that means for me, rather than resolution, is 0:02:02.080 --> 0:02:04.600 that when it pops on my mind to and I've 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:07.200 done this three times now, they're all happened to be relatives, 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:09.160 my brother, my sister, and my uncle. 0:02:09.880 --> 0:02:11.679 But it's to start with text messages. 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:14.919 But I didn't wait for them to be the ones 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:17.840 to reach out and wish me well in the new year, 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:22.560 which anybody on my phone knows. I am not initiating 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:26.520 any sexes because I hate the phone. And I did 0:02:26.840 --> 0:02:32.040 and it led to some really good conversation. It almost immediately, 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:34.600 and each one went to a phone call because I 0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:41.200 hate texting, and the conversations were so full. Even if 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:45.160 it was just light, it was it was the manner 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:46.520 that I needed at the time. 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:46.919 And so. 0:02:49.160 --> 0:02:51.400 I am getting back on the wagon. I guess you 0:02:51.800 --> 0:02:56.359 would say to if not a complete set of ten resolutions, 0:02:56.480 --> 0:03:01.160 certainly to try and to put some intentionality with how 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:04.639 I am am supposed to be trying to experience each 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:06.280 day of these next three sixty five. 0:03:07.919 --> 0:03:10.800 I love that super soul. Andrew tiff we were talking 0:03:10.840 --> 0:03:16.280 a lot about isolation in the last podcast too, and 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:20.639 I wonder if you have had any thoughts about what 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:23.680 your real authentic connection, which is something else we said 0:03:23.720 --> 0:03:26.600 together at the same time on the last podcast, what 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:30.560 does authentic connection look like for you this year, especially 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:35.360 as we challenge that isolation mentality that I think has 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:38.680 really been thrown a thrust upon us and we've kind 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:40.600 of just adapted. So what does that look like for 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:43.000 you in this steam? You know, I'm still. 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:47.800 Working on getting deeper connected to myself. I've talked a 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:50.560 lot with people about lessons we learned, and we tend 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:53.360 to say things like, you know, this really awful thing 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:56.200 happened to me, but here's the lesson I took from it, 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:58.920 or this really terrible person hurt my feelings deeply, but 0:03:59.000 --> 0:04:00.720 here's what I took from it. And I have to 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:04.960 say I'm abandoning that way of thinking. I whatever lessons 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:08.400 the universe has for me going forward, I would like 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:11.400 it to be painless. I would like it to be joyful, 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:14.440 you know, because there good love can teach you lessons. 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:17.800 Friendship that times can teach you lessons. And I just 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.760 think I've had enough of the challenging times. And the 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:23.719 thing is, it's never really behind you, right like we 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:27.159 have I have. You know, I'm the child of one 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:31.240 surviving parent. My mother is with me, and you know, 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:33.200 watching our parents get older and it's like, oh, you're 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:35.760 gonna need more help and more responsibility. My brother's a 0:04:35.800 --> 0:04:38.360 truck driver. I worry about it all the time. And 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:42.440 so you know, life is going to deliver you challenge 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:45.840 and struggle. But I want to be so deeply connected 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:48.720 with myself that I'm prepared for whatever that struggle is. 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:53.559 And I want to open my heart, my hands, my life, 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:57.159 and my spirit to lessons that can make me a 0:04:57.200 --> 0:04:59.720 better person and teach me the things I need to know. 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:04.720 And a soft, kind, loving joyful, delicate way, no more 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:09.960 pain Like I have had my fill with emotional pain. 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:12.919 It is time for joy. And I dare say I 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:16.240 feel that way about my co host too, Like we've 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:19.200 had this tough lessons, Like I want for all of 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:22.920 us to have some loving lessons going into this next. 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:27.000 Week, Tiff, Can I just say something before Angela shares hers? 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:30.120 And that is a long time ago, No, not too 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:32.320 terribly long, but a couple of years ago you and 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:34.680 I had reconnected on the phone, and one of the 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:37.279 things I was saying, because I feel you on this whole, Oh, 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:39.599 what I took from that is and it's like, who 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:40.760 taught us that lesson? 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:41.640 And why can't we. 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:47.360 Throw off the yoke of every horrible, miserable, decent, kind, 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:51.120 or frankly non mentionable thing that's ever happened? It was 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:56.039 supposed to stand in this magnanimous place of gratitude for 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:59.560 having taught us a lesson. And I think one of 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:01.279 the things that I share with you that may have 0:06:01.320 --> 0:06:03.240 helped at the time, and it could have also been, 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:05.919 like I love that for you when I'm still pressing, 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:15.400 was releasing yourself from acting with an outcome in mind, 0:06:16.520 --> 0:06:21.559 because I've immediately stepped off of this terrible expectations game 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:25.240 of like everything when if I make the choice to 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:28.440 do it, this thing better be out of ten. Instead, 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:30.039 it's like, if I make the choice to do it, 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:33.200 I've made that choice for nobody else, for no other reason, 0:06:33.880 --> 0:06:36.120 for nothing other than the fact that it was in 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:39.320 my pleasure to do it, and therefore what comes from 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:44.040 it comes from it because it's in my allowing it 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:46.760 to happen is with That's the moment, that's where we 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:50.080 meet it. And I just I'm with you on not 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:53.560 wanting to have to have to go through the worst 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:58.000 thing ever, the most unmentionable thing ever for me to 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:02.919 have a deeper appreciation for or the intimacy of our conversations, 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:06.800 or the intimacy of our time together, or however that 0:07:06.839 --> 0:07:09.120 time gets, you know, chosen for any any one of 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:12.320 the three of us. But you know, it doesn't have 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:14.560 to be a start and to stop like, oh that 0:07:14.760 --> 0:07:18.920 experience was that experience. No, we are living, breeding, human evolving, 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:22.680 and we've been that way for thousands of years. There 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:27.000 aren't supposed to be these starts and stops. Hopefully it's 0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:30.080 a rolling ball and we're just building on the layers. 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:35.280 Yeah, well, speaking of the layers, mine are much more shallow. 0:07:36.680 --> 0:07:38.360 I don't even know if i'll say shallow, but I 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:41.320 will say maybe you're safer in the shallow or the 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:43.920 I feel like I might be safer because this is 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:48.120 just about basic you're in the maybe not that this 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:53.400 is about basic livelihood. So you all know that we've 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:56.720 been dealing quite a bit with issues related to my 0:07:56.800 --> 0:08:00.960 mom's health. Last year she was diagnosed twenty three diagnosed 0:08:00.960 --> 0:08:04.240 with triple negative breast cancer, and it appears that that 0:08:04.400 --> 0:08:08.920 cancer has returned to her liver and which is which 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:13.520 is considered a spread, and it has been so heart reching. 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:15.320 But the thing that has warmed me the most is 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:19.120 my mom's fight. And what it reminded me of is 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:21.000 there was a point in time where I felt like 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:23.760 I had a better balance, which is I think part 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:27.080 of what we're talking about today between you know, my 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:30.000 spiritual growth and the way that I tapped in there 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:33.280 and my physical health, because the reality of it is, 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:35.280 I'm not gonna be here to do any deep breaths 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:38.280 if I'm not taking care of my physical health. So 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:41.320 there was a time where I just completely let go 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:43.800 of working out or anything. So now and I want 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:45.800 I'm gonna put I want to put these pictures up, 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:49.600 but I took my before pictures. My godsister has a 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:51.839 gym called spoon Feed Training. They're doing a thirty one 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:55.560 day challenge. I am doing this challenge. I look crazy 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:59.720 in these before pictures. I am hoping for an amazing 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:04.280 after picture. I weigh one hundred and fifty four pounds. 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:06.600 I'm saying this for accountability. It's more than I've ever 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:11.240 weighed in my life. I one hundred and fifty four pounds. Well, 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:14.640 we pack at different, honey, we're our heights are different. 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:17.600 We would if I were taller, and that wouldn't be bad. 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:23.520 I don't know. My cellular analysis, which I also encourage 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:26.840 people to get. I'm serious because it measures each of 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:30.040 your your body parts. It tells you how much of 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:32.960 your body is fat, how much spoletal mass you have. 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:36.120 It's not just a BMI. It's a cellular analysis that 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:40.080 breaks down each part. It is amazing, and I'm gonna 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:44.760 do one of these cellular analysis analysis every week. I'm 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:47.640 going to I've been doing cardio, I've been working out. 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:50.719 I'm like I am hell bent on getting this done? Now? 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:53.600 Why am I sharing all this because this week I 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:56.320 weigh one fifty four and I have started the challenge. 0:09:56.400 --> 0:09:58.400 Last week it was one fifty one. So I'm trying 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:01.320 to see what's going on. Some got to run off, 0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:03.240 and so there's that. I wanted to share the other 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:03.520 things that. 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.880 Question about that ANGELA, Sure, how can we support you? 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:07.160 There? 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:07.480 Like? 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:10.120 What does support asking? 0:10:10.160 --> 0:10:11.160 If I work out today? 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:13.600 I want to be working out every single day, and 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:16.200 I've been doing. My home gym is set up. I 0:10:16.200 --> 0:10:18.319 have been in it. It is actually fun to me. 0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:21.760 I've been bumping Kendrick as you know, like it has been. 0:10:21.840 --> 0:10:24.920 It's been. It's actually been enjoyable, and so I'm grateful 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:27.040 for that because it's also been a point of connection 0:10:27.120 --> 0:10:29.440 for my mom and I to talk about working out. 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:31.320 I've been going to the gym with my gods sisters 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:35.040 with her. I need to be held accountable around getting 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:37.520 my mammogram done. I am two years late. I'm just 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:40.720 being super honest about that. I have a colonoscopy scheduled. 0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:42.480 They said I don't need one till I'm fifty. I'm 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:45.559 not buying it. People are getting colon cancer at younger ages. 0:10:45.640 --> 0:10:48.959 I'm getting my colonosco be done this year. And then 0:10:49.040 --> 0:10:50.840 finally I wanted to share this with you all too, 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:53.080 because I think it's very important given the amount of 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:55.920 stress we're carrying as we go towards an inauguration that 0:10:55.960 --> 0:10:59.520 many of us don't really want to see stress levels. 0:10:59.679 --> 0:11:02.040 I went to the cardiologist in New York. It's the 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:04.840 one Leonard goes to. It's a tremendous gentleman by the 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:09.000 name of doctor Puma, a sword medical. He is amazing. 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:12.920 I got a full cardiogram done. I got late a 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:15.319 vein mapping done in my leg. I have a Verico's 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:17.280 vein in my right leg. I need to be wearing 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:23.360 compression socks. This is serious every single day. I'm just saying, 0:11:23.440 --> 0:11:26.320 I'm telling you this because these are things that we 0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:28.840 normally would just br I know that my legs well 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:31.520 on the plane, but I didn't know that the water 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:34.240 retention is because of a lack of blood flow in 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:37.640 my legs and if it stifles enough, it can cause 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:42.679 cardiac arrest. I am pre hypertensive my blood pressure. I 0:11:42.760 --> 0:11:44.040 was telling him. He was like, wee, you're blood perser. 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:45.720 I was like, oh, its high stimes. I stressed. He 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:48.400 was like, Okay, let's take it every day. I am 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.439 high blood pressure every single day, every single day that 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:54.680 I take my blood pressure. So I'm telling you this 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:57.440 because on the surface, people may look at me and 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:01.480 say you're small, it doesn't matter your way like all 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:03.839 of these things. But I knew I was unhealthy, and 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:06.240 I've been focusing more on not fitting my clothes. The 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:10.800 truth is, holistically, I am not as healthy. This was 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:14.360 a long PSA to say, you guys, please go to 0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:18.079 the doctor. Please get these no matter what they tell 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:21.920 you about. If something isn't time yet, it's too soon 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:24.840 for you, you're too young. If something feels off in 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:28.000 your body, you know your body more than anybody else. 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:31.960 Check on those things. So my New Year's resolution is 0:12:32.000 --> 0:12:34.520 to stay on top of my health, not for vanity, 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:36.960 but because the deep breasts that I enjoy in a 0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:39.720 meditative state. I want to continue to be able to take. 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:42.520 And my mom in the condition that she's in right now, 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:46.000 still in the fight of her life, it hurts for 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:49.160 her to take a deep breath in her liver. Do 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:53.000 you understand. So while we have the privilege and the 0:12:53.040 --> 0:12:57.040 ability to breathe, let us take advantage of the fact 0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:59.880 that we can move our limbs. Everybody among us can 0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:03.080 move all of their limbs with ease. Everybody among us 0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:06.720 doesn't have ten fingers, ten toed. Let's take full advantage 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:09.560 of what God has given us and make sure that 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:12.280 we are in the best health of our lives. That's 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:13.280 my resolution problem. 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:16.760 I love all of that, and I hope our viewers 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:19.360 take note of that as well. I think that's such 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:21.679 sound advice, particularly. 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:25.840 For people of color, black people in particular, and the 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:31.480 predisposed it challenges that we have with our health in 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:44.479 this country. I would offer Angela that I would discourage 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:48.319 you from watching the scale and encourage you. 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:51.439 To watch the inches because muscles way more than fat. 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:52.280 So even that. 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:58.320 You know, and I know you've talked about changes. You 0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:00.520 want to see your body for a long time, and 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:02.520 I think the main thing is you're trying to be healthy. 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:06.880 But I just say that you look amazing. Your body 0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:10.120 looks amazing. I know you want to be healthy, and 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:13.120 I look forward to seeing the journey with you. 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:18.040 So I've been thinking, Tiffany about how the people who 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:20.480 are on the opposite end of our phones, who are 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:23.560 not getting responses and text messages and it's just loading up. 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:32.160 How we not communicate a lack of care toward them, 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:36.400 Because I'll tell you the folks, I love folks a 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:40.080 million times deep, right, and when I see and we're 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:43.240 in share come, it's just it's amazing by and large. 0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:46.640 But I also know that you know, I've had friends said, look, 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:49.120 I had told myself this was going to be the 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:52.080 last time I called you, and the next time we 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:54.320 spoke was gonna be whenever you decided. I was thinking, 0:14:54.840 --> 0:14:57.440 you know, that actually isn't what I wanted to communicate to. 0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:00.720 You at all. And I'm so sorry that you know 0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:01.160 that's true. 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:03.520 And then ahead of the friends who were like, bruh, 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:07.520 it's life, and I know that you know when we're 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:09.280 going through, we're going through. Just I just want you 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:11.440 to know that I'm still thinking about you, right, So 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:13.880 there's different people would bring different energies. But I'm just 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:17.000 wondering because because I'm I'm probably still at the bad 0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:19.040 end of this spectrum. Is not even funny. And I 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:23.720 know how you are with yours as well. How do 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:25.840 you deal with that or is that a concern for you? 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:29.680 The care pab be honest, it sounds very selfish. But 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:33.280 typically I have so much shit on my mind and 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:36.880 my heart. I don't have space for other people's stuff, 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:40.960 you know, I just I don't. And me not being 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:43.400 on top of my phone is really a radical act 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:46.000 of self care because I will tell you guys, I 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:48.800 go to the brink of I'm about to lose my 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:52.320 fing mind, you know, Like there are things that are happening. 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:54.440 Sometimes it's like I got this big. 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:56.280 Ass tax bill that I have to I gotta figure 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:58.600 out how I'm gonna come up with seventy thousand dollars 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:01.320 that you know, I don't know. Or I'm having this 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:04.200 pain and I can't figure it out more. Somebody came 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:06.200 along and hurt my feelings and I'm in the you know, 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:08.080 deep thing about that. Or I had a big argument 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:09.680 with my mom and that's weighing on my mind. It 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:11.600 could be any of those things. It could be all 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:14.440 of those things, and I'm just full. I don't have 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:16.640 space to think, Oh, I didn't call you back, you know. 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:20.200 And typically people who I'm who will take it that way. 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:23.320 Who I'm not calling back. We're not that close, you know. 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:25.880 Angela is saying, like, you know I call you don't answer, 0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:28.760 But the truth is yes. But but the truth is 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:31.640 with Angela, if we weren't, like if I knew it could, 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:33.920 I could go months without seeing Angela, I would feel 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:36.680 some a different sense of obligation, like oh fuck. But 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:38.760 the truth is we're in the chat where I know 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:43.520 we're gonna talk probably a hundred times, and I will say. 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:45.880 Call me back in that chat, which as soon as 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:46.680 she says something. 0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:48.840 And usually and typically when I read that, I wake 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:50.520 up and read that chat like it's the New York Times. 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:52.200 So I'm reading that chat at like five point thirty 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:54.400 six in the morning. I'm responding to stuff everybody looked 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:55.119 at yes. 0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:57.840 Like are you up? You know? Damn well, I do too. 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:01.480 But it also lets me know what's going on with you, 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:05.000 you know, like I you called me the other day. 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:08.800 I don't remember when, but I remember like my heart 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:11.200 sank when I saw your call. I don't know why, 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:13.480 but I just felt like, oh, I you know, I 0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:15.760 wonder if something happened with your mom or something. I 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:17.560 think I was in Puerto Rico or something. I don't know, 0:17:17.760 --> 0:17:19.879 but I remember, and I've looked in the chat and 0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:22.440 it was all fine. But I do remember thinking oh, 0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:24.760 I know, I was on the freaking runway. I was 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:27.239 on the runway. I could not answer my call. I 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:29.000 was stuck on the road. I literally couldn't even answer 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:31.879 to say hello. And I just had this anks and 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:33.119 I'm like, oh, she's calling. 0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:33.680 I know what time. 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:35.480 It was, was like sick something in Puerto Rico. 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:39.080 Anyway, when those things happen, though, Andrew, my point is 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:42.320 I'm too full. I want you guys to know, and 0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:44.879 I hope you know this, and I'm not trying to 0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:47.080 speak for your friends and family, but I am going 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:50.960 to say this generally, it is absolutely more than okay 0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:53.199 to take the space you need. I do want you 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:57.639 to know that everybody calling isn't calling to extract something 0:17:57.680 --> 0:18:02.760 from you. Sometimes people are calling, Natasha Brown called me yesterday, 0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:06.480 like to just make sure they are good, to make 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:10.000 sure that everything is all right with you. You're on 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:12.440 my heart and I want to make sure you're straight. 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:14.880 And I have to punch nobody in a te sometimes 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:17.359 I'm calling for that. So like when you guys are 0:18:17.400 --> 0:18:18.920 real heavy on my heart, i'd be like, you good, 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:21.080 you know, I just want to make sure and I'll pray. 0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:23.320 I'll still pray, but I still want to know from you, 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:25.600 like I hear your voice. You're good and tip we 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:28.200 should talk about the tax bill because there are methods. 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:30.359 Oh my god, you know I got another one too. 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:35.439 I'm so stressed about all stress we call Randy. Yeah, 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:39.399 well we talk about that, but yeah, I know Randy before. 0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:41.919 But the stresses of life Andrew, like you know how 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:45.520 that they get heavier growing up as bs. 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:49.920 Yeah, the heavier in you because of the load of 0:18:50.080 --> 0:18:52.320 the one you used to be able to dark tan off. 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:55.560 You know in a few seconds. It's now the thing 0:18:55.680 --> 0:18:58.560 when it comes. This thing has been rounding that block 0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:02.120 for a minute, and when it gets you, it's going 0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:05.040 to level you. And it's one I mean, I know 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:07.199 we talk sometimes in the show about like, you know, 0:19:07.280 --> 0:19:09.240 I'm done with social media that kind of thing. It 0:19:09.440 --> 0:19:13.119 so isn't that I'm not curious about what's happening in 0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:16.120 folks lives. It's sort of what you hinted at, tear 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:20.280 Fat being at this level of because my care for 0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:23.520 people generally who who I care and it could be 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:25.920 a year since I spoken to them, but I want 0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:28.000 them to be well and I do want to wish 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:31.600 them well on important events and days, except that it 0:19:31.720 --> 0:19:36.159 got to a place in twenty twenty where it was 0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:41.720 it started to feel like I was in those spaces 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:45.919 to again perform for whoever is on the receiving end 0:19:45.920 --> 0:19:48.840 of the like of the comment of the this. And 0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:51.120 then when people would tell me, I saw you liked 0:19:51.160 --> 0:19:53.439 my dada dada da, it added more and more and more. 0:19:53.520 --> 0:19:56.480 I said yes, like you know what, it's not my pleasure. 0:19:57.280 --> 0:20:00.040 And if there is something that you know that I 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:02.240 stumble upon, or if I feel like I have free time, 0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:04.320 I want to open it. I ain't seeing Damn, I 0:20:04.680 --> 0:20:07.600 what is it called? If if X in four year 0:20:07.680 --> 0:20:13.600 five you four years don't Facebook ain't even on my phone? Right, 0:20:13.680 --> 0:20:16.600 it doesn't even exist on my phone? And it isn't 0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:19.359 that What I miss about it is I missed a 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:25.000 little curious like you know, Davis got baptized yesterday, and 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:27.320 like I want to sell I'd celebrate that if I 0:20:27.359 --> 0:20:31.080 knew that. I just didn't know it, and I realized 0:20:31.119 --> 0:20:35.399 that it didn't cost me anything being a you know, 0:20:35.480 --> 0:20:38.280 aside from that those moments of like, oh I wish 0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:40.640 I'd known that I would have aside from that. 0:20:40.640 --> 0:20:43.959 It is like I don't want it. I don't seek it. 0:20:44.880 --> 0:20:47.920 God, you have somehow continued to push me toward a 0:20:47.960 --> 0:20:53.640 place where acting without expectation can be a good thing. 0:20:53.760 --> 0:20:55.480 If I'm not posting this picture because I want to 0:20:55.480 --> 0:20:57.560 see how many likes somebody to get or how many 0:20:57.560 --> 0:21:02.399 comments people are going to make, then godly, what pressure 0:21:02.440 --> 0:21:05.560 does that take off of a thing? Yeah, I don't 0:21:05.600 --> 0:21:08.280 want those anymore. I remember in the campaign, people are like. 0:21:08.240 --> 0:21:09.200