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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for wanting to evict my

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Speaker 1: father in law?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: Get him out there you go.

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Speaker 4: This comes from we are on a break two hundred

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Speaker 4: ra who says, my husband thirty five male, and I

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Speaker 4: thirty three female, have been living together in a two

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Speaker 4: bedroom apartment for two plus years now. Recently his mother

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Speaker 4: kicked his father out. Seventy mail My husband had his

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Speaker 4: father move in with us into our two bedroom apartment.

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Speaker 4: I was told it would be a few days, maybe

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Speaker 4: a few weeks. It's been over a month and since

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Speaker 4: then his father has said he has no intention of

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Speaker 4: moving out.

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Speaker 3: What did he do?

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Speaker 1: Also, we always attention, wait he was going to be

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Speaker 1: there for a little bit, and he's like, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: you thought I was. You thought I was going to leave?

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Speaker 3: Jokes?

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Speaker 1: Psych a victimy try and get me out.

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Speaker 4: Also, is this seventy year old man out here just cheating?

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Speaker 2: Uh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, wait, how did it start again? We don't We

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Speaker 1: don't know. We don't know yet. We don't know.

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Speaker 4: So uh his mother kicked his father seventy mail out.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he slang and wang.

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Speaker 4: It's definitely something they've definitely did something wrong. You don't

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Speaker 4: just get kicked out by your wife of presumably a

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Speaker 4: long time for nothing. Yeah, we'll probably find out comments,

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Speaker 4: give us some guesses. Put a ICUs if you see

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Speaker 4: it important note his father is on the lease along

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Speaker 4: with my husband, as this apartment has been in the family.

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Speaker 3: That is a big complication.

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Speaker 1: That's a big complication.

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Speaker 4: I mean if he's literally a co signer on the lease,

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Speaker 4: he probably legally has.

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Speaker 1: And probably maybe help pay for it.

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Speaker 4: Maybe help pay for it. Maybe he's just there to

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Speaker 4: like if any problems arise. Yeah, that sort of a

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Speaker 4: big wrench in it. So he has taken over our

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Speaker 4: guest room, slash my office, and other than coming home

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Speaker 4: wasted and trying to explain his side, he has kept

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Speaker 4: to himself and apologized he has not been paying rent.

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Speaker 4: But my husband wants to talk to him about splitting

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Speaker 4: rent free. Way we are stuck either moving out and

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Speaker 4: moving in with his mother, renting another place, me moving

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Speaker 4: back in with my folks, or we buy a house

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Speaker 4: that we that we quite honestly, I don't think we

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Speaker 4: can afford right now. We live in a major city

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Speaker 4: where costs are out of control. That is that is

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Speaker 4: really a pickle. That is really a pickle.

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Speaker 1: I would you choose of those options.

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Speaker 4: I would probably I would try to look into the

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Speaker 4: most reasonably affordable option to be on my own because

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Speaker 4: I think the piece is.

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Speaker 1: Worth Yeah, your piece is worth everything unless you can't

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Speaker 1: afford it, and then your financial unknowingness becomes a burden.

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Speaker 3: Possible.

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Speaker 4: Fifth, well, I guess the issue is like, if you

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Speaker 4: leave that place, are you still saddled with.

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Speaker 1: The monthly rent? Oh?

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Speaker 4: Because what if like the data doesn't pay if you're

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Speaker 4: still on the lease? Yeah, that is that is true.

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Speaker 4: I would I would try. I would try to end

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Speaker 4: the least or something. Yeah, I would try. Maybe it

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Speaker 4: doesn't work out, but I would try getting into place.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, that is so tough. Maybe you just start

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Speaker 1: uh beating him like a lot of bacon, you know,

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Speaker 1: red meat.

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Speaker 3: Burgers, fatten him up. Yeah, he's like I was.

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Speaker 1: Until I'm dead, you know, sp be one of the

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Speaker 1: processes up.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I was like, is he allergic to bacon?

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Speaker 1: Is he?

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Speaker 2: What is.

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Speaker 3: This bacon?

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Speaker 1: That's so funny.

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Speaker 4: But I feel uncomfortable and like I can't relax in

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Speaker 4: your own home.

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Speaker 3: That sucks. That's why I would try to get my place.

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Speaker 4: My husband says that I am the one most unhappy

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Speaker 4: with the current arrangement. I told my husband I am

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Speaker 4: considering moving in up with my folks for a while,

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Speaker 4: and he is upset causing fractures. My parents and friends

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Speaker 4: are pressuring me to move out, but feel like I

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Speaker 4: am about to blow up my relationship over what my

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Speaker 4: husband considers to.

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Speaker 1: Be an inconvenience, just inconvenience.

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Speaker 4: I feel heartless by being upset because I know his

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Speaker 4: father is in a tough spot too. Is it of

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Speaker 4: his own doing that we still don't know what he

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Speaker 4: did to get kicked out.

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Speaker 1: I want to know. I want to know. I feel

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Speaker 1: like that informs whether I should feel bad for him

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Speaker 1: and how much bake can I give.

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Speaker 4: I'm hoping that this is one of the cases where

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Speaker 4: a million people ask and then OP puts into the up. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's what I'm hoping for. Am I being unreasonable and

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Speaker 4: wrong for being upset? And is and is that bad?

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Speaker 1: That?

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Speaker 4: I want some space from the issue? And we have

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Speaker 4: a edit an update incoming. But I feel like this

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Speaker 4: is a good spot to stop and answer the question.

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Speaker 4: Is OP unreasonable for being.

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Speaker 3: Upset in wanting some space?

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Speaker 1: No? I mean your your space is being invaded, so

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Speaker 1: it's like, I feel, if you don't have space to

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Speaker 1: think and really be, I think your mental you're like

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Speaker 1: like your mental health is not gonna be great and

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Speaker 1: so that Yeah, that that's like a super important thing.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I could totally understand ohp being up set.

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Speaker 4: I feel the thought the husband is being unreasonable because like,

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Speaker 4: at the end of the day, this is like your day.

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Speaker 4: It's kind of home home, turf advantage, get away. You

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Speaker 4: got to deal with it. Yeah, and it's like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: this isn't my dad. He's coming in. We're presuming he

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Speaker 4: did something wrong because he got kicked out.

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Speaker 1: But how do you deal with he? You know, like

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Speaker 1: like like as as the husband, I mean, the the

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Speaker 1: the options that they set in, it's it's like he's

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Speaker 1: on the lease, so you're kind of stuck.

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Speaker 4: He's he's seeming possibly legally entitled to some sort of.

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Speaker 3: Housing status in this apartment.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And it's like, would I guess the question going

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Speaker 1: back to the question should you live with family members,

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Speaker 1: would this have happened if they said, oh, no, you

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Speaker 1: can't stay with us, but we'll get you another place.

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Speaker 3: If if and their husband said that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, if they have avoided this situation if.

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Speaker 4: They can't afford getting I mean they do they they

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Speaker 4: did say they live in a two bedroom, two bath.

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Speaker 1: What if they moved into a one bedroom.

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Speaker 3: One bath just to and sign their own lease, just to.

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Speaker 1: Avoid the Yeah, but I guess it doesn't. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: seem like the dad they grant the father has much

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Speaker 1: money too, if he couldn't.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so there's highly chances are highly likely they would

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Speaker 4: still be saddled with this other least.

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Speaker 1: So it's like you're kind of nolan void there. I

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Speaker 1: don't I don't know how much you can do. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think not let let the your dad live with you,

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Speaker 1: which I feel like you don't necessarily know he's just

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Speaker 1: not going to leave when you initially Yeah, like if

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Speaker 1: my dad needed a place to stay, so handy a

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Speaker 1: place to stay for a couple of weeks, I'd be like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: of course, like yeah, but then if he's like, I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to leave now, I'd be like, that wasn't

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Speaker 1: the agreement.

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Speaker 4: At least have a sit down, yeah, right, And yeah,

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Speaker 4: I think the husband needs to kind of get a

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Speaker 4: little backbone, And.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the husband, it's not really Oh, PE's it's.

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Speaker 4: His father and he's the one encroaching on their space together.

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Speaker 4: So anyways, we do have an edit in an update.

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Speaker 4: So hi everyone, I just want to say thank you

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Speaker 4: for all of your advice and assistance.

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Speaker 3: You give me a lot of thinking about.

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Speaker 4: To be clear, if his father was ill or incapable

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Speaker 4: of caring for himself, it would be a whole noother conversation,

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Speaker 4: great point. I fully believe in caring for one's family

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Speaker 4: and loved buns when they need help. And I hope

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Speaker 4: I don't sound heartless. My husband and I sat down

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Speaker 4: and decided that I will move back in with my

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Speaker 4: folks and he will move in with his mom short term.

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Speaker 4: His dad will keep the apartment. I'm heartbroken. We are

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Speaker 4: still together, but we no longer live together for a while.

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Speaker 4: In addition, I feel guilty that I couldn't be patient

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Speaker 4: or strong and suck it up and just be okay

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Speaker 4: with the setup and we have an update, but.

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Speaker 3: I feel like, oh, he's being very hard on herself.

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Speaker 1: No, what do you what do you think? I think

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Speaker 1: that I think maybe a little bit, but it honestly

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Speaker 1: sounds like it kind of is working out a little

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Speaker 1: bit where that I mean it sucks that you're a

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Speaker 1: displaced but at least they're not saddled. It doesn't seem

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Speaker 1: like they're gonna be saddled with rent.

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Speaker 4: Everyone's got their own space and yeah, OPI didn't say like, oh,

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Speaker 4: we'd also have to pay for for well, I mean,

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Speaker 4: actually it wasn't one hundred percent crystal clear. It might

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Speaker 4: be that they're still paying for some portion of least

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Speaker 4: of the rent, but they don't have to pay for

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Speaker 4: an additional living space because they're living with their parents.

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Speaker 1: So maybe the father is on the least but not op,

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Speaker 1: which would be great, but I don't know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but that that is also a pretty big I

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Speaker 4: mean there I think the husband and father being the

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Speaker 4: a holes, but that is also a lot to saddle

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Speaker 4: them with as well. So yeah, I think this is

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Speaker 4: probably the best choice in a not great list.

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Speaker 1: Of them, which maybe they are right reading between the

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Speaker 1: lines a little bit. They're not getting a new apartment

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Speaker 1: or a new place. What they're doing is they're both

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Speaker 1: individually moving in with their respective parents, which implies that

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Speaker 1: they don't have the money to get a new place,

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Speaker 1: which probably implies that they are paying rent still at

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Speaker 1: their old place. I think that might be the case. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that might be the case. Yeah, but that's

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Speaker 1: definitely the a hole though that the best they can

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Speaker 1: is the husband the a hole too, do you think

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Speaker 1: for not for not talking to the dead.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, for just everything he's I guess they did say

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Speaker 4: to this decision.

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Speaker 1: I'm reticent to say a hole because it seems like

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Speaker 1: they're coming to the decision together.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely, he's definitely. The husband is definitely looking better

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Speaker 4: in this edit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think. I don't think he's terrible. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I don't Maybe he's not being as proactive as

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Speaker 1: he could be. Yeah, and I feel like, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: he's taking on too much blame.

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Speaker 4: I we'll see what happens in this update, but I

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Speaker 4: think it might be leaning towards a hole for not

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Speaker 4: really possibly doing as much.

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Speaker 1: But maybe we'll get some more context. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: In this update, we're in the process of moving out.

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Speaker 4: My husband will move in with his mother and I

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Speaker 4: am moving in with my folks. My father in law

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Speaker 4: is officially in the apartment and we are still finishing packing.

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Speaker 4: He will be finding a roommate and we'll be keeping

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Speaker 4: some of our furniture, but that is a small trade

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Speaker 4: for peace of mind. His dad has said some rude

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Speaker 4: things like don't blame me if you split up. Ouch, damn,

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Speaker 4: damn daddy, But outside of that, I haven't really spoken

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Speaker 4: to him. I ended up going away for two weeks

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Speaker 4: by myself, and it was really great to work on

226
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Speaker 4: rebuilding my identity outside of being in this relationship. I

227
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,360
Speaker 4: really enjoyed being alone. I've also been looking at cheap

228
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,840
Speaker 4: homes for sale, just so that I can have something

229
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,880
Speaker 4: I can call mine. Not feasible right now because neither

230
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:54,319
Speaker 4: my husband nor I have the money together, but gives

231
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:55,440
Speaker 4: me something to dream about.

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Speaker 1: I like that.

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Speaker 4: My husband and I have been speaking every day. We're

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Speaker 4: still together, but he said some things to me in

235
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:06,360
Speaker 4: the fallout that I'm struggling with, specifically, quote unquote, our

236
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,440
Speaker 4: connection must not be that deep if you're leaving.

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Speaker 1: Wait. The husband said that, yes, wop. But didn't they

238
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Speaker 1: both agree on what they were supposed to do?

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Speaker 4: They said, everyone was like So basically, I think what

240
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,600
Speaker 4: the husband is saying here is like, you could have

241
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,520
Speaker 4: come to live with me at my mom's house, but

242
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,400
Speaker 4: instead you are choosing to live with your parents. I'm

243
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,840
Speaker 4: choosing to live with my parents. Why didn't you choose

244
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:35,600
Speaker 4: to come live with me wherever I landed. I am

245
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,280
Speaker 4: getting fir, I said a second ago. I was kind

246
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:39,840
Speaker 4: of over the line of a hole. I think I

247
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,240
Speaker 4: just got a little little deeper. It iliates, kind of

248
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,560
Speaker 4: a little whack. Yeah, yeah, I'm deep in the ahole

249
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:50,319
Speaker 4: right now, deep in the hole, deep balls deep that.

250
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,640
Speaker 4: But he has sense taking it back and said that

251
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Speaker 4: I am not to blame.

252
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Speaker 1: For any of this.

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Speaker 3: Do you mean it or not?

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00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,880
Speaker 1: Hubby? What's going on? Maybe he just like maybe he

255
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:04,839
Speaker 1: said that in a moment of heated moment exasperation. A

256
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,880
Speaker 1: lot of things going on. It's stressful. A lot of

257
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,839
Speaker 1: people say things they don't mean. You know, I don't know.

258
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:13,320
Speaker 1: I don't know if I trust this guy. I like

259
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:16,800
Speaker 1: definitely definitely a red flag though.

260
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,920
Speaker 4: Oh I'm watching you, husband, that's a red flag. Oh

261
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,800
Speaker 4: got my eyes on you.

262
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:23,839
Speaker 3: All four of them.

263
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,880
Speaker 4: He is excited to focus on a part of his

264
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:28,520
Speaker 4: life that he feels he has neglected.

265
00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:32,319
Speaker 1: So overall, I think he is feeling Okay, we're.

266
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,920
Speaker 4: Still together, but I'm worried that me moving out means

267
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:39,600
Speaker 4: the end of our us, us being together. Neither of

268
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,959
Speaker 4: us want this, but it has become clear to me

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00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,880
Speaker 4: that he would rather displace me in him than deal

270
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:50,079
Speaker 4: with family conflict. So basically like, you would rather us

271
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Speaker 4: just like live apart, then address the issue directly with your.

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Speaker 1: Dad and say, like, I'll move out or whatever. But again,

273
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Speaker 1: that is a hard thing to do when he's on

274
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Speaker 1: the least, and if he's going to be an a whole,

275
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,520
Speaker 1: he has rights to like he has legal rights to it.

276
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Speaker 4: The one thing that it's unclear and I am reading

277
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Speaker 4: as they haven't done yet, is the husband sitting down

278
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:13,600
Speaker 4: with his own dad and saying, hey, this is a lot.

279
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,920
Speaker 3: We need to figure some space and boundaries.

280
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Speaker 4: Maybe you moving out something, just just coming to the

281
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,720
Speaker 4: table and having a conversation and kind of pushing pushing.

282
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Speaker 1: Yes, the father could say nah, and they can try,

283
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,880
Speaker 1: but you should try, and it doesn't seem I feel

284
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,400
Speaker 1: like what we can fault the husband for is total

285
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:34,800
Speaker 1: lack of backbone and not trying at all. I agree.

286
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,000
Speaker 4: I am not used to standing up for myself, but

287
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,959
Speaker 4: I refuse to be a dormat on this. Our emotions

288
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:44,280
Speaker 4: are all over the place, but we are figuring it out.

289
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,760
Speaker 4: I've also come across a bunch of articles about how

290
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:52,680
Speaker 4: men his father's age are finding themselves alone because the

291
00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:55,160
Speaker 4: women in their lives will no longer put up with

292
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,760
Speaker 4: their bs, which makes sense.

293
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,120
Speaker 3: Not much to add.

294
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,640
Speaker 4: If anyone has suggestions for how to navigate what comes next,

295
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,199
Speaker 4: I would appreciate it. Thank you all for your support

296
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,760
Speaker 4: and really helping me see I was not fully in

297
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,240
Speaker 4: the wrong, as I have.

298
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,800
Speaker 3: Been guilted to believe.

299
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:19,240
Speaker 1: I want to know though, like what the father did.

300
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:26,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, haven't gotten that from That has to has to,

301
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,920
Speaker 4: it has to. There is a quick relevant comment from

302
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,800
Speaker 4: Ope which hopefully illustrates that before this next update, I

303
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,200
Speaker 4: think to a certain extent, women are starting to realize.

304
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,000
Speaker 4: I think this is commenting about what you said earlier

305
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,280
Speaker 4: those articles. I think to a certain extent, women are

306
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,600
Speaker 4: starting to realize that their lives, that the lives their

307
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:47,080
Speaker 4: mothers or grandmothers mothers lived, are no longer feasible, and

308
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:50,360
Speaker 4: men weren't trained to expect this. So while women bear

309
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,040
Speaker 4: so much of the brunch of emotional labor, we are

310
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:56,200
Speaker 4: no longer able or willing. We are no longer able

311
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,520
Speaker 4: or willing to and men haven't learned how to adapt.

312
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,320
Speaker 4: For any one who likes songs about female Rage Labor

313
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,520
Speaker 4: by Paris Paloma has been on repeat for the whole

314
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,720
Speaker 4: month for me. So yeah, Basically, people was like, Hey,

315
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,960
Speaker 4: this partner in my life hasn't treated with me respect

316
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,960
Speaker 4: for probably decades of marriage. I'm not putting up with anymore.

317
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,480
Speaker 4: Maybe that's maybe that's what it was. Maybe the father was.

318
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,560
Speaker 4: I mean, he seems like he's coming in wasted. He

319
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,800
Speaker 4: seems like generally disrespectful. Maybe he's had this this bad

320
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:27,240
Speaker 4: attitude and behavior towards his wife for possibly decades, and

321
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,560
Speaker 4: the wife is just like, I'm I'm done, yeah, which

322
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,120
Speaker 4: makes perfect sense.

323
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So he's just like he was. He

324
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,280
Speaker 1: was an a hole for like his whole life. Yeah,

325
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:41,120
Speaker 1: and only decades of a holary. Decades of a holary

326
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,120
Speaker 1: has finally caught up his.

327
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:46,560
Speaker 3: Nineteen forty nine whatever it is, old.

328
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:51,760
Speaker 1: Man aged, old man age twenty five, nineteen ninety six, sir,

329
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,800
Speaker 1: but let's let's let's let's be I'm helping you out.

330
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,920
Speaker 3: You said nineteen ninety five.

331
00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,400
Speaker 1: I know I'm helping you out.

332
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:03,800
Speaker 4: So you're saying that ninety is the cutoff of old decrepit,

333
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:12,080
Speaker 4: you know, I mean nineteen, like eighty or something would

334
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:13,880
Speaker 4: have been a much better for my case.

335
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,680
Speaker 3: If that's if that's your goal and what you're trying

336
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:17,480
Speaker 3: to do here.

337
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:23,480
Speaker 1: So is that that's the end? No, Oh, there's more. Yeah,

338
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:24,920
Speaker 1: you think this is fricking over.

339
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,720
Speaker 4: But onto this update, which is nine months later, this

340
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,400
Speaker 4: is I feel like this is going to be big.

341
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:36,680
Speaker 4: We have lived separately from June to March, so that

342
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,160
Speaker 4: whole nine months.

343
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,320
Speaker 1: That's a long time. That's a long time. I wonder

344
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,120
Speaker 1: how far away those two places are too. That's another

345
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:44,680
Speaker 1: great question.

346
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,360
Speaker 4: With us officially moving out in September, took us a while.

347
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:52,040
Speaker 4: His dad started throwing my things into trash bags during

348
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,960
Speaker 4: the actual move because I was taking too long to pack.

349
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,320
Speaker 1: Stand up guy.

350
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,720
Speaker 4: Then when I started crying because our home was being dismantled,

351
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,680
Speaker 4: I had to comfort me as his dad huffed and

352
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,959
Speaker 4: puffed at my emotions. The husband tried to comfort. I

353
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,359
Speaker 4: did vacation with my parents and took a month to

354
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,000
Speaker 4: go away by myself. He joined me for a week.

355
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,760
Speaker 4: We still met up almost every weekend. It's been time

356
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,640
Speaker 4: together in bond. We still talked every day. But then

357
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,760
Speaker 4: my galfriend and I took a two week long vacation

358
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,919
Speaker 4: that I extended into a whole month. I invited him

359
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,200
Speaker 4: to join for some but he declined. On our last

360
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,840
Speaker 4: night together before I left, we got into a fight

361
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,199
Speaker 4: about how I seemed distracted. This resulted in me sobbing

362
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:36,560
Speaker 4: alone in his mother's basement for an hour, but WHOA.

363
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,440
Speaker 4: We made up, but it still.

364
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:38,760
Speaker 1: Stuck with me.

365
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,400
Speaker 4: I let a lot about myself in this trip. I traveled,

366
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,719
Speaker 4: met new people, tried new foods, and did things that

367
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:48,480
Speaker 4: I used to only dream about alone. I did it

368
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,400
Speaker 4: by myself, and it felt so good to reclaim my identity.

369
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,520
Speaker 4: My friend said I was glowing like I hadn't been

370
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:58,240
Speaker 4: seen in years. While while I was away on my trip,

371
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,679
Speaker 4: he checked in, but things felt different, at least for me.

372
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,959
Speaker 4: Didn't call me or offered a call, not even on

373
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,159
Speaker 4: my birthday. Pretty crazy, but that's on me too. The

374
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,120
Speaker 4: telephone works two ways. I came home. We saw each

375
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,719
Speaker 4: other that weekend and we were discussing plans for the future.

376
00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:14,960
Speaker 4: I mentioned that I want to go back for a

377
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,520
Speaker 4: few months later this year, and he fell silent. I

378
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,639
Speaker 4: admit I shouldn't have brought this up at all, but

379
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:25,399
Speaker 4: I felt disingenuous not mentioning this, because that is what

380
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 4: I wanted to do with my future. He stayed silent

381
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,760
Speaker 4: on the way home and got out of my car

382
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,920
Speaker 4: and told me not to come in. I got emotional,

383
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:36,719
Speaker 4: blobbed about losing myself in the relationship, and I realized

384
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,360
Speaker 4: I needed to take a step back, and I asked him.

385
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,760
Speaker 3: For a break. He said, okay, slammed the door.

386
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,680
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean, seems like it's trending towards being over

387
00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:50,120
Speaker 1: not looking not looking good, not looking good at all.

388
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,639
Speaker 4: I took the time away to think. He called me,

389
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,200
Speaker 4: saying he spoke to a therapist, didn't want to lose me,

390
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,680
Speaker 4: and that he was sorry and that he would do better.

391
00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:01,040
Speaker 4: This weekend, he came over to my parents' house with

392
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,600
Speaker 4: flowers the coca is a meal. We ate together and

393
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,600
Speaker 4: talked and talked. H Then I told.

394
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:10,880
Speaker 1: Him couldn't do it anymore. Oh.

395
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 4: He asked me when I stopped loving him? Oh, And

396
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:14,520
Speaker 4: you know what, I told him.

397
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,639
Speaker 1: That's never a great question to ask. You know what

398
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 1: he told him, Sam the day that we moved out,

399
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,440
Speaker 1: The truth.

400
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,320
Speaker 4: That I loved him and I'm still in love with him,

401
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,840
Speaker 4: and that's what made this so difficult.

402
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:25,520
Speaker 1: Oh.

403
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,639
Speaker 4: Wow, That I had been fighting it for months that

404
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,920
Speaker 4: I missed myself and she was finally back go off Queen.

405
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:37,199
Speaker 4: We'd both been growing but separately. He said that his parents'

406
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:40,520
Speaker 4: relationship shouldn't have an effect on us. I told him

407
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 4: that they didn't, but the choices made after did. He

408
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 4: told me he'd be willing to break up and wait

409
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 4: a few months, but I also couldn't promise him something

410
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,640
Speaker 4: I can't guarantee myself in the future. I gave him

411
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:58,199
Speaker 4: back the rings. We spent the night together, crying, reminiscing, laughing.

412
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 4: I love him, We'll always love him. I want to

413
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,200
Speaker 4: be with him, but I can't right now. Actions have

414
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 4: repercussions that we don't always see until we hit the

415
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 4: breaking point.

416
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:12,120
Speaker 1: I'm so heartbroken. Could have done more, be more, do something?

417
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,119
Speaker 1: Question Mark? How do I convince myself I did the

418
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 1: right thing? Did I do the right Maybe you don't

419
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:25,560
Speaker 1: feel that anymore? And his spinelessness contributed to that, and

420
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I think it also seems like

421
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 1: she was glowing. It seems like she was doing a

422
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,480
Speaker 1: lot better when they weren't together.

423
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 4: I think that this situation kind of expose something that

424
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,640
Speaker 4: OPI didn't even consider at the beginning, which was maybe

425
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 4: Ope needed time with herself and building that relationship with herself.

426
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:45,920
Speaker 3: She realized that.

427
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 1: The relationship wasn't serving the book. Yeah, and sometimes it

428
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,919
Speaker 1: takes like a big change to realize, like in the

429
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:58,360
Speaker 1: same way that uh, Opie's husband's mom realized, like, oh,

430
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,880
Speaker 1: after years of marriage, I don't need this anymore. Sometimes

431
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,360
Speaker 1: there's like big changes that happen or like wait, this

432
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,719
Speaker 1: isn't actually good for me anymore. Yeah, and it seems

433
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:12,239
Speaker 1: like this, this housing situation was what woke Ope up

434
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:12,560
Speaker 1: to that.

435
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,880
Speaker 3: She took off the rose tinted glasses.

436
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:22,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, miss Jaybird says, sometimes love just isn't enough. Darned

437
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 1: too true, sad but true, bad but freaking true, Miss Jaybird.

438
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:31,760
Speaker 1: So to go back to the question, should you live

439
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 1: with family members in this case, yes, still kind of Yeah,

440
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,479
Speaker 1: this this actually exposed Like I think living with family

441
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,720
Speaker 1: members can kind of expose the kinks in your relationship.

442
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 1: It's not always going to be pretty or fun, but

443
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 1: I definitely will we'll test your relationship to see whether

444
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,159
Speaker 1: you should actually be together or not.

445
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,679
Speaker 4: Yeah, and Opie, like uh at least didn't report a

446
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 4: negative experience from from her parents' ankle. If anything, it

447
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,719
Speaker 4: sounded like her parents give her like room and space

448
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 4: to be able to do that. So I think it's

449
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 4: I think it's okay.

450
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, but let us know in the chat let us

451
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 1: know what you think. Please put your comments below. But

452
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 1: we do have it calling, Oh Colin, we do one

453
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 1: call and to wrap up, let's do it. Who do

454
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:16,920
Speaker 1: we got?

455
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 2: We have.

456
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 1: Nati Natty Natty five twenty.

457
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 3: What's called Natty?

458
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 2: Natty?

459
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 1: We're calling you, Natty.

460
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,640
Speaker 4: You're gonna be on the chatty with us, Natty. How's

461
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 4: it going?

462
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 3: You are?

463
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 1: Oh? Hello, yes, hello, hey, you are on the show.

464
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 4: We wanted to hear about your story of your mom

465
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 4: moving out because your mom gave you a curfew.

466
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:47,440
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, Oh my gosh. I was just getting ready

467
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 2: for work, so this will be quick.

468
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 1: Great, all right, all.

469
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 2: Right, So long story short, my parents had not a

470
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 2: great like separation and for like eight years from my

471
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 2: age eight to age sixteen, I looked with my dad.

472
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 2: My dad gave me like all the freedom in the world.

473
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:11,400
Speaker 2: So then I moved with my mom and flip side

474
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 2: of like my dad. My mom was very strict and

475
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,160
Speaker 2: I went to like this one party and I didn't

476
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 2: tell her, but I told my dad and she ended

477
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 2: up like having such a fit about it that I

478
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,920
Speaker 2: was about, I want to say, seventeen at the time

479
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 2: that she said, you have an eight o'clock curfew, and

480
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:37,639
Speaker 2: I said that's not fairly eight o'clock. And I'm like,

481
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,159
Speaker 2: son's not even down in the summertime.

482
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 1: For that yet, how old were you at that point?

483
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:47,919
Speaker 2: Seventeen? Come on now, So then I convinced her for

484
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 2: nine o'clock. But if if she were to ever say

485
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 2: like she had a rebel child, it was definitely me

486
00:23:56,160 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 2: because well she didn't get home until eleven thirty at night,

487
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 2: so as long as I beat her home, I was fine.

488
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 1: She never know, here we go.

489
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 2: So but anyway, so that was from like what junior year,

490
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,360
Speaker 2: then senior year, She's like, you know what, you get

491
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 2: a curfew until ten o'clock. Now, now mind you, this

492
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 2: was weekdays and weekends, so I had no freedom as

493
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 2: a child. And then yeah, I graduated high school, still

494
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 2: live with her. I went to community college and you know,

495
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 2: stayed home save money, right, and uh, I still had

496
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 2: a curfew up until I moved out at twenty two,

497
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 2: when ten o'clock at ten o'clock curfew.

498
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,959
Speaker 1: Did you ever rebel? And it'd be like I am

499
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,040
Speaker 1: an adult or I mean I remember in college there

500
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 1: were some projects that I just had to work on

501
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:56,200
Speaker 1: late with other people, so like I couldn't I couldn't

502
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: go to bed on time.

503
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's where my dad' very much like Daddy's girl.

504
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 2: My dad came into the picture. He thought it was

505
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 2: so unfair. He tried to mediate and he was just like,

506
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 2: you know what, if you want to stay out, just

507
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 2: tell you're staying over at my house and you can

508
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 2: stay out a slate you want. And so my dad

509
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,400
Speaker 2: always like supported me. He was just like it's so unfair,

510
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 2: and like you were, I raised you to be a

511
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 2: really responsible person, so like I trust that you're doing

512
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 2: the right things.

513
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 1: So was there a breaking point, Like, like, at what

514
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 1: point where like I need to move out?

515
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 2: So I moved out. I had planned to move out

516
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:39,159
Speaker 2: like a year before I actually moved out, because I

517
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 2: was like, you know what, I'm finishing my two year

518
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 2: at community college and I was going to move to

519
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,880
Speaker 2: a university transfer over and I was like, I still

520
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 2: want to be close to home, but far enough where

521
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 2: I can say, hey, I need to live over here

522
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 2: because I don't want to commute, and so I ended

523
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:02,400
Speaker 2: up moving like forty five minutes away from home. And

524
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 2: my mom actually tried to stop that by not co

525
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:16,199
Speaker 2: signing for my apartment. Yeah yeah, extremely controlling. Uh my

526
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:20,199
Speaker 2: dad didn't have like great like credit for like the

527
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,159
Speaker 2: co signing. So my dad's friend actually signed for me,

528
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:28,880
Speaker 2: and so I moved. Oh yeah, she was. She did

529
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 2: not talk to me for a solid like two months,

530
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 2: I want to say, and then she realized she realized that, like,

531
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 2: oh wow, if I don't actually try to keep a

532
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 2: relationship with her, she will just cut me out completely.

533
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:49,640
Speaker 2: And so our relationship has gotten a lot better since

534
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:53,439
Speaker 2: I've moved out. A lot of things have exploded, and

535
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 2: then it kind of all exploded again when I moved

536
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 2: in with my boyfriend. And that's a whole nother story.

537
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: But so, would you recommend living with family after you

538
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 1: become an adult.

539
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 2: I'd be a hypocrite to say, uh, don't live with family,

540
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 2: because I plan on, like my dad's going to retire,

541
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 2: Like once we buy our farm, he's going to retire

542
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:20,640
Speaker 2: our farm with us.

543
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: That's awesome.

544
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,399
Speaker 2: But I'm also Hispanic, so there's a whole like cultural thing.

545
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 1: The right family. Yeah, yeah, it's the right family. It's

546
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,360
Speaker 1: all right in the right family.

547
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 2: I think it's I think it depends like your relationship

548
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:38,120
Speaker 2: with the person. Yeah, you shouldn't out of like necessity.

549
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 2: I think you shouldn't like, oh, like obligations, you shouldn't

550
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 2: do that. But like if like my dad is like

551
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:45,440
Speaker 2: my whole.

552
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 1: World, so totally, you're not like to choose like a

553
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 1: random person that doesn't fit with your living style. And

554
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:56,880
Speaker 1: I feel like family maybe is basically the same. Yeah,

555
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,919
Speaker 1: because you're just going to be at your other throats

556
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,360
Speaker 1: if you don't live together, well exactly. I think it's

557
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 1: a case by case basis. Natty, thank you so much

558
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 1: for calling in and sharing your story.

559
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 2: Thank you for calling out. Continue watching the live stream.

560
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 3: Yes, good, look at work, all right?

561
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 2: Thank you? Bye bye.

562
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,679
Speaker 1: I love the Collins. Great shout out, Natty, big shout out, Natty.

563
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 1: But with that, I think we kind of like went

564
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 1: through all the canals and different little little twists and

565
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 1: turns on this uh on this story of should we

566
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 1: live with our our family? So with that, I think

567
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 1: that's a wrap that's right. If you love us, make

568
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 1: sure to subscribe. We love you and see it in tomorrow.

569
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 1: This is an episode from Deep within the Archives time

570
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 1: for okop ree lash.

571
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 4: Am I the a hole for not wanting to have

572
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 4: contact with my oh mommy. Maybe you know, it depends

573
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,479
Speaker 4: on what kind of mommy situation he's going on here.

574
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 4: By the way, so this came through our suburn at

575
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 4: our slash o kop show from from the user Your

576
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 4: mam is Shrek, which is a polity, that is a

577
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 4: that is a goaded thank you for Yeah, all right,

578
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 4: let's let's hear what you got your mama Shrek?

579
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 1: Yeah you know what? Hey? You know now you're an

580
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: all star? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, get your game on nice.

581
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 1: I am sorry if this is bad because this is

582
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 1: my first post. Y'all. Yo, you don't have to apologize

583
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 1: for it being your first.

584
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 4: We love it because we have in fun of you

585
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 4: for how o Yeah, I'm thirteen and my mother is

586
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 4: fifty two.

587
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 1: Wow. From a young age, my mom has been an alcoholic.

588
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus rough. She has been in and out of

589
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: rehab for much of it.

590
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 4: I've had to grow up quickly, which is not the

591
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 4: best because it feels like my childhood was stolen from me.

592
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 4: She found a boyfriend in rehab in twenty twenty, and

593
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 4: he was a drug addict himself. My goodness, lockdown made

594
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 4: them all go back home and her boyfriend went with

595
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 4: her to her house.

596
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: That was a very bad idea. Oh my god.

597
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 4: He got drugged up and abused my mom a lot.

598
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 4: She tried to reach out for help once but was

599
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,800
Speaker 4: too drunk and drugged out. Around eight months ago, the

600
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 4: police got involved in her boyfriend was kicked out. My

601
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 4: mother's side of the family and me had her sent

602
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 4: back to rehab.

603
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 1: A week ago.

604
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 4: She relapsed after saying that she would end her life

605
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 4: if she never relapsed again. I have not set or

606
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 4: texted her sense and my family aka my Auntie is

607
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 4: upset that I am not speaking to her, and my

608
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 4: mother is upset. My mother is a bit homophobic toward

609
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 4: me because she keeps asking me if I like any boys,

610
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 4: but I don't after coming out to her. Please tell

611
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 4: me if I'm the a hole, because I'm starting to

612
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 4: think that because of my aunt Definitely not the a hole.

613
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 1: You're thirteen dealing all this shit like you just need

614
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 1: space to be a thirteen year old.

615
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 4: Truly, I think, honestly like you deserve the space to

616
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 4: like just just focus on yourself. Like I would say,

617
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 4: like whatever puts you in the best position, And if

618
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,959
Speaker 4: that's you know, not talking to your mom and kind

619
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,760
Speaker 4: of being dragged into all of us mess.

620
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 3: That's perfectly, perfectly perfectly for that.

621
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: As a thirteen year old, like you're not equipped to

622
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 1: deal with like at all, like like drugs and alcohol

623
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 1: and abuse. Like that's like, dude, you you need to

624
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 1: be as far away from all of that as you

625
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:38,719
Speaker 1: physically can. I think, really like like go through your

626
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 1: family network and kind of like talk to like everyone

627
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 1: about what's going on and see if you can live

628
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 1: with someone that has more stability is what you need

629
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 1: right now as stability.

630
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 3: One hundred percent.

631
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 4: Talk to your school counselor yeah, to them and see

632
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 4: like what what your options are, because I mean, you're

633
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 4: thirteen years we're writing this Reddit post, like seems like

634
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 4: you're pretty mature free rate, Yes, it seems like you

635
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 4: have a pretty good head on your shoulders. Just like

636
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,720
Speaker 4: really focus on trying to get a stable home and

637
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 4: then just focus on school and doing well and like

638
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 4: making sure you have like a good group of friends

639
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 4: around on yourself, like have have fun like have fun

640
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 4: hanging out with your friends again, like literally any scenario

641
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 4: that sets you up to have a to be happy

642
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 4: and healthy better rest of your childhood for sure, for sure,

643
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 4: for sure.

644
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like like prioritizing school, I think it

645
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 1: will give you like the structure that you need, like extracurriculars. Yeah,

646
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 1: extracurriculars like music, like clubs, just like get involved, because

647
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 1: I think that can give you also like a greater

648
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 1: like you have your familial for support structure, but sometimes

649
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 1: being really involved in a club or something and give

650
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 1: you like a wider support network, like you'll make friends

651
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 1: with the kids, you'll have like kids' parents probably help

652
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 1: you out. I think it's a way to have a

653
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 1: little bit of stability.

654
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, honestly, I was reaching, do you know that show

655
00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 4: Avid Elementary? No, really really great show, and it's like

656
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 4: it basically takes place in like a Philly school and

657
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 4: they had like a podcast class the thing, And I

658
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 4: was like, Oh, that genius. If you I'm guessing that

659
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 4: you might like podcasts, consider that you are a fan

660
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 4: of the show. If there's a podcast club or like

661
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 4: start a podcast or I don't know, that's.

662
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, could be you could start a podcast. All right,

663
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 1: all right, I'm giving advice to thirteen year old Sam.

664
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: You very well, maybe not thirteen year old Sam, but

665
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 1: just like if I was thirteen, I wish I would

666
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: have started a podcast earlier, because like, if you're young

667
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: and can email people, you can literally talk to anyone

668
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,239
Speaker 1: you want. Yeah, especially coming you know, someone coming from

669
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 1: your situation you're trying to like just understand more about

670
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: the world. If you like emailed Fortune five hundred CEOs celebrities,

671
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: if you sent out twenty emails to your favorite like

672
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 1: company CEOs or whatever.

673
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 4: The biggest people you look at. Maybe maybe not every

674
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 4: thirteen ys like I didn't see us.

675
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 3: I'm sure.

676
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 4: I'm sure we're thinking in twenty five year old Sam

677
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,399
Speaker 4: and John Brain, but I'm sure there's people that OPI

678
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 4: looks up to. Yeah, reach out to them and tell

679
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 4: them your story. Be like, you know, I'm thirteen, I'm

680
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 4: going to these events in my life. So I'm like

681
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 4: using his podcast as it means like you know, explore

682
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 4: and build and all those good things. And yeah, lots

683
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 4: of lots of people. Well we're because like people just

684
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:27,800
Speaker 4: want to help young people one hundred percent.

685
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 1: Well, OPI, thank you. For sharing your story. Absolutely, and

686
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 1: if anyone else wants advice on anything, John and I

687
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 1: are down just sit and chat, of course. And so

688
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 1: go to our sash Okop show and some of your

689
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 1: stories and we'll, yes, we'll get some advice. Thank you, okay,

690
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:47,400
Speaker 1: op am I the a hole. My dead wife cheated

691
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:50,400
Speaker 1: with my brother and I told their son, who I

692
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 1: thought was my son.

693
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:55,279
Speaker 4: Now I've heard of messages before, but uh, this is

694
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 4: this is a whole like land is the whole new level,

695
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 4: my friend, this is.

696
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: Just a dumpster fire. It's a landfill fire. This is

697
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: a family conflict that came up recently. I mail forty six.

698
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,479
Speaker 1: Used to work in the military, so I was away

699
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 1: from home most of the time. When my then only

700
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:16,239
Speaker 1: son was three years old. I discovered by accident that

701
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: he wasn't mine. So how do you discover that by accident?

702
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 1: That's my question right there. That's an odd accident. Suddenly

703
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:25,839
Speaker 1: to scolled that this kid's not mine that I thought

704
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: for three years was you know, losing your keys as

705
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 1: an accident, Like, yeah, this saves a lot all different.

706
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 1: I discovered by accident that he wasn't mine. He was

707
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 1: My older brothers and also the older brother, like, I

708
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 1: feel like it's worse than your younger brother, because like

709
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,320
Speaker 1: your younger brother, you're like, oh yeah, yeah, he was

710
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 1: giving your brothers you know better.

711
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 4: He was giving you noggies all childhood. He's like you,

712
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 4: oh good, I'm gonna get your girl, and then he

713
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 4: actually did.

714
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 1: It was the most devastating time in my life, aside

715
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 1: from what I was dealing with my ex wife and

716
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 1: I ended up divorcing, and I cut contact with my

717
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 1: brother for years. I was done with him, even after

718
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 1: my ex wife, who he married the same year of

719
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 1: the divorce, suddenly. There's so much into unpackaging what I'm

720
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: gonna say that actually got married. I was done with

721
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 1: him even after my ex wife, who he married the

722
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 1: same year of the divorce, died suddenly. So this guy

723
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 1: got divorced, his brother married his ex wife, and then

724
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 1: his ex wife died. Can you imagine what a tragedy

725
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 1: the same year they divorced. They I have always wondered.

726
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 4: They're like, do do you know spouses like their significant

727
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 4: other siblings because they look alike.

728
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 1: And I mean, I think this story I answers it all.

729
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,800
Speaker 1: Why have the younger brother when you could have the older,

730
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:48,880
Speaker 1: more experience brother. My parents thought my ex's death was

731
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:54,280
Speaker 1: supposed to make everything okay. What wow? Wow? How freak

732
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 1: would that make everything okay? As they claimed she was

733
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,800
Speaker 1: the one who drove a wedge between me and my

734
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 1: but bro, your brother the one who hooked up with

735
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 1: your dead wife? Are you kidding me?

736
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 4: And also just like like okay, as she cheated, But

737
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,799
Speaker 4: then also she's dead, so it's like hoorray she's dead.

738
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,879
Speaker 1: It's like that's kind of no, that's not what solves this. Yeah,

739
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,799
Speaker 1: or maybe the parents did think that's what would solve

740
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 1: it and they killed her. Yeah yeah, maybe from a

741
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:28,879
Speaker 1: reddit podcast a true crime podcast. But anyway, Op kept

742
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 1: his distance, that is until my nephew had some questions

743
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 1: that changed everything. My nephew started reaching out to me

744
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,880
Speaker 1: and we began seeing each other more often when he

745
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 1: was around fifteen. He was always told that the fight

746
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 1: between me and my brother was about business, risky business,

747
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 1: risky business, the business of banging. My parents threatened to

748
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 1: disown me if I told my nephew that his mother

749
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 1: was my ex and that I should leave it alone,

750
00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 1: which I did, since they said that if they had

751
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 1: to choose, they would choose their nephew slash grandson. I mean, well,

752
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 1: I understand, like trying to think of what's best for

753
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 1: the kid, you know, like the kid didn't do anything.

754
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,720
Speaker 1: I don't like him. I don't like my nephew. Tried

755
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,640
Speaker 1: to get me to meet my brother so we could talk,

756
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:19,439
Speaker 1: since my brother welcomed the idea, but I refuse, which

757
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 1: is just so like heart warry, like the nephew just

758
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,800
Speaker 1: wants them all together long, Yeah, no idea, what's rumbling

759
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 1: underneath the surface. I made it clear to him that

760
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 1: he needed to stop forcing a reunion, and he respected

761
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 1: my wishes. That would all change when he turned twenty one.

762
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 1: So he's now twenty one and is getting married in November.

763
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 1: He sent an invitation, which I declined and returned right away.

764
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 1: He called to ask why, and I said, I'm no

765
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 1: contact with his dad, so I won't come since he'll

766
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 1: be there, which like Bro's year, it's your nephew, Like, yeah,

767
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: dropped the beak with your brother. It's your nephew. I

768
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 1: don't know what would you do, honestly, that's that's a

769
00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 1: hard that's a hairline either way could be, you know,

770
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 1: like I understand how much it would hurt you know,

771
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 1: and your brother did this to you. But this isn't

772
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 1: for your brother. Yeah.

773
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 4: There, I'd be like, listen, I'm not trying to like

774
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 4: engage with your father, but I will go here for you.

775
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 4: But I wanted you to know, like I'm not trying to.

776
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, like his stipulation, I'm not trying to repair things

777
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 1: with my brother right here, I'm here for you and

778
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:25,800
Speaker 1: you will love My nephew refused to accept that and

779
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 1: came over and started criticizing me, saying I'm being unnecessarily

780
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:34,160
Speaker 1: better and resentful towards his apologetic dad over some business

781
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,440
Speaker 1: and said he cannot believe how much hate I keep

782
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:40,399
Speaker 1: inside me against his dad. He said, I either try

783
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 1: to work things out with his dad or he will

784
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 1: not be seeing me again. And like that all t

785
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: is so heartbreaking because, like with the kid is just

786
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,359
Speaker 1: trying to repair relationship. Yeah, he doesn't know his dad

787
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:53,799
Speaker 1: and his brother. I felt hesitant at first, but then

788
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,439
Speaker 1: told him his dad and I don't have a usual beef.

789
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 1: I told him that his mother was my my ex wife,

790
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 1: who is dad messed around with while I was in

791
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:07,240
Speaker 1: the military serving my goddamn country. Oh no, my nephew

792
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 1: denied it, saying his dad and his grandparents never told

793
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 1: him that he thought I was lying till I showed

794
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 1: him enough proof to get him to change his tone.

795
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 1: What he did next no one could have predicted. He

796
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 1: left in a hurry and was enraged. I later found

797
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:25,320
Speaker 1: out via my parents that my nephew canceled all my

798
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 1: family's wedding invitations, all of them. He canceled the wedding,

799
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 1: He put the wedding on hold and disappeared after he

800
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 1: had a huge argument with them, and then he disowned

801
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,919
Speaker 1: his father. Dude, the nephew went zero to one hundred

802
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 1: real quests, whoa roh to answer? The wedding disowning your dad,

803
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 1: like falling out with the whole family. And I understand

804
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:48,359
Speaker 1: it because like he was lied to his whole life

805
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 1: the person like And it's also because it's like the

806
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 1: villain switch right, Like yeah, probably the villain was always Opie, right,

807
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,840
Speaker 1: because it's like this guy has so much uh like

808
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:01,439
Speaker 1: hurt and anger her in his heart, Like how could

809
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 1: he just be so rude over something so silly like

810
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:08,040
Speaker 1: a business thing? Baltimore was Dumbledore the whole time. Baltimore

811
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,439
Speaker 1: was doubled door. They did the old such a rude

812
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,439
Speaker 1: and freakin' Harry is caught in the middle. Harry, you're

813
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:17,239
Speaker 1: a wizard, Harry, You're a wizard. My father has gotten

814
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 1: very sick after this incident, and my entire family kept

815
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:24,719
Speaker 1: harassing me, saying I ruined everyone's life with what I

816
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:28,239
Speaker 1: did because of my hate and resentment towards my brother.

817
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 1: They said, they warned me not to talk and that

818
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 1: now I should deal with the consequences of alienating their

819
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: grandsons slash nephew from them. What are they going to

820
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 1: whack him?

821
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 2: So?

822
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 1: I don't know, this is like a mob boss family, right,

823
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 1: But dude, I feel so bad for the nephew, like

824
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 1: like this is he's the only one who didn't do

825
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 1: anything wrong here.

826
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 4: He didn't at all. And I don't blame his reaction either.

827
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:54,880
Speaker 4: That's such a that's such a shock to the system,

828
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:55,360
Speaker 4: you know.

829
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 1: So what do you think is op the a hole?

830
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 2: No?

831
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:03,040
Speaker 1: That's what I think. I actually am gonna say yes, really, okay,

832
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 1: go ahead, go ahead? Can say yes? Not not because

833
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 1: he's like, like I feel, it's totally fine to not

834
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 1: want to repair things with his brother, right, that's totally fine,

835
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,840
Speaker 1: But to not go to your nephew's wedding, yeah, because

836
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,840
Speaker 1: of beef with your brother, no matter how deep, Like

837
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:19,879
Speaker 1: that's hurting your nephew, yeah, which you thought was your son, right,

838
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:23,760
Speaker 1: So it's like, you know, you have a you definitely

839
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:28,319
Speaker 1: have some sort of connection with this person, and yeah,

840
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,960
Speaker 1: I just I think it's a heartbreaking situation, but just

841
00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:33,719
Speaker 1: do it for your nephew. Yeah, I think that.

842
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 4: Uh, I think he needs to go to therapy and

843
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 4: like really work through these emotions because because.

844
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 1: There's a lot there is a lot of anger and resentment.

845
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 4: There is and there's there's like, look, he's been wronged

846
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:49,719
Speaker 4: a great amount. But also to let those emotions.

847
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:53,319
Speaker 1: Faster for twenty years, yeah, I mean that's that's that's

848
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:55,759
Speaker 1: a long time. That's that's that's a little bit too long.

849
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 4: So I don't know if I'll go so far as

850
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:59,479
Speaker 4: to say he's the a hole, but I think he's

851
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 4: he's honestly neglecting working on his own, you know, personal emotions,

852
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:08,920
Speaker 4: and in the process of neglecting that hurting an innocent

853
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 4: person's Yeah.

854
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 2: I like that.

855
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 1: There we go.

856
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:16,279
Speaker 4: All right, guys, you know what time it is. It's

857
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 4: the middle of the video, which means you need to subscret.

858
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 1: Wow. Nice nice notes there. Yeah, I feeling my inner

859
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 1: rock God. I like it.

860
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:30,479
Speaker 4: Uh And as you guys know, we should. We shout

861
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 4: you out if you subscribe, if you comment, we hit

862
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,359
Speaker 4: those shouts on the YouTube. I actually got a very

863
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:39,399
Speaker 4: very special shout out to a special someone. I told

864
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,239
Speaker 4: her to give her TikTok, but she neglected to and

865
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 4: doesn't want me to read her real name.

866
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 3: But here is kW, kW says from TikTok.

867
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 1: Is this better? I went over here? Please don't use

868
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 1: my real name.

869
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 5: Love the show, but please use don't wear it a

870
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 5: voice to shout me out.

871
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:00,760
Speaker 1: kW. We love you. John is a mass with the voice.

872
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,680
Speaker 1: Next time, kW, Though, you gotta follow up to my comment,

873
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 1: like come on, yeah, come on, keep the conversation. Guys.

874
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 4: We got a few others we have TJ twelve. Imagine

875
00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 4: this was on Spotify like a podcast that will be fun.

876
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:19,879
Speaker 1: TJ. We have a Spotif bro go just look look

877
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 1: up O Kop Show on Spotify. Straight up four letters okop.

878
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 1: It will pop up like the top podcast named okop

879
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 1: on Spotify four or.

880
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:34,880
Speaker 4: Like two inches above where you commented, you can scroll

881
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:36,640
Speaker 4: up in the description and just click the link.

882
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 1: No, no, no need to type anything like you're good.

883
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 2: Uh.

884
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:46,280
Speaker 5: Some subscribers, we got Riley Rainbow Rainbow Taste the Rainbow.

885
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 5: We got Sarah rug A. I'm pulling the rug right

886
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 5: from out of on the gube.

887
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,360
Speaker 1: Another one, Daniel would Oh, I got some wood for

888
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 1: you that you can take a peek out. All right,

889
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 1: let's see if you can handle this one. Jacob Finkleste Finkle,

890
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: you're stinker of you know I'm talking about all right,

891
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,000
Speaker 1: you know what, guys, come on, clap it up. That

892
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 1: was four for four. Give me another one, John, all right.

893
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:16,720
Speaker 1: We also got uh bingus bogus bungus, bingus, bogus bungus.

894
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:22,479
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fingus your fungus and get you some like plumbus. Okay,

895
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:25,120
Speaker 1: I'm falling apart here. Yeah, we almost sayre all right? Well,

896
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 1: Sebastian del morale del morale, del morale del What is

897
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 1: del the of? I think it's of of morals, A

898
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,920
Speaker 1: man of morals. Sebastian is a man of morality and morals.

899
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 1: That's why you're subscribed to this.

900
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 4: And if you guys want us to shout out your

901
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,880
Speaker 4: names and your comments and read where voice read it

902
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:45,800
Speaker 4: in weird voices.

903
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 3: You know what to do Subscribe and comments