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Speaker 1: L iv A Holford disowning my adoptive son since he

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Speaker 1: chose his people.

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Speaker 2: Over us, Please define his people. We will.

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Speaker 1: So this comes from Throwaway eight five seven eight, And

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Speaker 1: they say, I know this title is a bit weird,

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Speaker 1: but this was the best way I found to translate

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Speaker 1: what was said. Obligatory apologies for bad grammar and or spelling.

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Speaker 1: This does not take place in the US, all right,

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Speaker 1: So let me give you a little backstory and background

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Speaker 1: to the situation. About nineteen years ago, me and my

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Speaker 1: husband had been driving on a highway back from a

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Speaker 1: small vacation when along a particular long stretch of road,

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Speaker 1: absolutely no buildings around, only a ton of grass and hills.

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Speaker 1: As far as I could see, we spotted a little

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Speaker 1: boy just sitting by the side of the road. But

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Speaker 1: I see you in the chat. If you know what's

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Speaker 1: gonna happen, I feel we're gonna bet a little Moses

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Speaker 1: story going on here. Like I mentioned, there was nothing.

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Speaker 2: Around four miles and.

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Speaker 1: No cars close to where the boy was, so we

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Speaker 1: decided to stop and see if everything was okay. Well,

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Speaker 1: we got closer to the boy, let's call him Jason,

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Speaker 1: fake name. It was very easy to see he was

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Speaker 1: dirty and malnourished, since the only thing he had on

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Speaker 1: were some diapers. He was so small it didn't look

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Speaker 1: like he could be older than three. I later found

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Speaker 1: out he was actually five. We asked him why he

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Speaker 1: was alone, and he told us that.

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Speaker 2: Mommy and daddy put him here and told him to wait.

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Speaker 1: There was no cell signal in the area, so he

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Speaker 1: did this sensible thing and brought him back to town

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Speaker 1: to the nearest police station. So it sounds like this

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Speaker 1: kid got abandoned.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: To make a long story short, and this is going

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Speaker 1: to be a long story long, there was a lot

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Speaker 1: to this story. CPS was called. We discovered his parents

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Speaker 1: were some druggies that were on the run from a felony.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: The only other relative Jason had was his grandmother, who

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Speaker 1: was very mentally ill and couldn't take care of him,

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Speaker 1: and we felt bad. He went into foster care soon after,

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Speaker 1: but we felt bad for the kid and kept in

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Speaker 1: touch with his caseworker. I had and still do have,

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Speaker 1: an extremely well paying job at the time and could

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Speaker 1: easily afford a decent lifestyle for a small family. So

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Speaker 1: after a few month discussions between ourselves, the caseworker and

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Speaker 1: some bureaucracy, we formally adopted Jason. This is the roadside Kid,

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Speaker 1: which would be a great name for a blues band,

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Speaker 1: Bruce Roadside Kids.

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 2: Is that not a great name?

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Speaker 1: The kids Bob Blues Brothers. Yeah, dude, that's so dope.

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Speaker 1: Now onto the situation. About three years ago, Jason's parents

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Speaker 1: were released from prison on parole. They contacted him not

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Speaker 1: long after in hopes of reconnecting. Prior to that, they'd

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Speaker 1: sent him a few odd letters here there, but nothing substantial.

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Speaker 1: And again, this is twenty years ago. So OPI and

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Speaker 1: their husband Male forty four and male forty have been

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Speaker 1: married for twenty years, together for twenty two and their

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Speaker 1: adoptive son is twenty four. So they found him when

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Speaker 1: he was five, So this is now nineteen nineteen, almost

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Speaker 1: twenty years later.

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Speaker 2: So now into the situation.

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Speaker 1: So at first he was hesitant to talk to them,

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Speaker 1: but ended up caving and meeting them for lunch one day.

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Speaker 1: I'll admit that part of me was a bit jealous

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Speaker 1: and apprehensive of what could happen, but I could see

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Speaker 1: that it really was something that my son wanted to do,

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Speaker 1: so for his sake, I swallowed those and supported him

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Speaker 1: through it. It wasn't very long. About three months, I

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Speaker 1: think that he started to pull away from us. At first,

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Speaker 1: I chalked it up to him being excited to actually

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Speaker 1: talk to his bioparents after so long talk about what

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Speaker 1: had been going on in his life. Spent some time

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Speaker 1: with him, et cetera, but started to bother me when

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Speaker 1: he'd cancel plans with us last minute because mom had

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Speaker 1: an emergency or Dad really needs me to help him

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Speaker 1: with something today, or whatever other excuse that he'd come

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Speaker 1: up with. Do you see an ice you? I see

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Speaker 1: an ice you, So my ice you potentially is homophobia.

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Speaker 2: That's my ic. Wow, I was not seeing that I

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Speaker 2: see you at all.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that is true. Yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: could see if these parents are like not good drug ease,

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Speaker 1: like bad influence. I could see them influencing him badly.

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Speaker 4: My my conspiracy theory is that the family is using

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Speaker 4: him or something, or like trying to get back into

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Speaker 4: his life to get I don't know. I don't know

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Speaker 4: what you could get out of your kid that you abandoned,

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Speaker 4: but I feel like they're using him.

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Speaker 2: Well yeah, maybe again my shee's what oh.

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Speaker 5: I thought the ICU that I was thinking of was,

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Speaker 5: you know, he's now meeting his parents and he's like,

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Speaker 5: I want to have a connection with him. I've never

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Speaker 5: been able to talk to my biological parents before, and

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Speaker 5: they're just like, you know, making him run errands, do

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Speaker 5: stuff for them, basically making him work for their approval,

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Speaker 5: like abusing it, really abusing the relationship of this all

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Speaker 5: say kid, Yeah, a twenty four year old kid trying

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Speaker 5: to finally connect with his his biological parents.

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Speaker 1: Miss Jaber says, maybe they got him into drugs. That's

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Speaker 1: could be another ic you put I see you and

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Speaker 1: what you think it might be in the chat we

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Speaker 1: want to hear from you guys. But yeah, these are

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Speaker 1: all terrible situations. I hope none of them are true.

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Speaker 1: I hope it's just like he has a loving relationship

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Speaker 1: with his parents, but that's probably not what happened. So

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Speaker 1: now he used to come over to our house at

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Speaker 1: least once a week, call every day or so. But

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Speaker 1: now we were lucky if he even came by that

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Speaker 1: month again. I thought that that was just temporary, that

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Speaker 1: he was just excited, and soon enough he'd start spending

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Speaker 1: time with us again. We were overjoyed. When he invited

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Speaker 1: us over were to dinner one night. It was supposed

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Speaker 1: to be a family gathering, us and his bio parents

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Speaker 1: and his wife girlfriend. At the time, I wasn't exactly

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Speaker 1: keen on meeting the people that had left my son

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Speaker 1: for dead on the side of the road, but decided

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Speaker 1: to give them the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe

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Speaker 1: they had atoned and changed. Besides, he's our son and

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Speaker 1: we love him. We had to at least try. This

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Speaker 1: is terrible, but I know things. To say the diner

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Speaker 1: was a disaster is an understatement. His bio mom was

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Speaker 1: extremely rude to my husband and I the entire night,

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Speaker 1: making a passive, aggressive, homophobic and racist remarks every chance

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Speaker 1: she got. His father was much the same. It all

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Speaker 1: came to.

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Speaker 2: A head when she straight up called us.

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Speaker 1: The F word and threw a glass at my husband.

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Speaker 1: A screaming match followed and we left soon after through

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Speaker 1: a glass through a glass. This is terrible, But who

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Speaker 1: called it?

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Speaker 2: This guy? Who called this guy? I'm not saying I'm resident,

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Speaker 2: but I predicted that mother.

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Speaker 1: Eff Reddit nos to Dramas, Reddit Nose to Dramas.

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Speaker 3: Oh you're getting too good at this, Sam, Dude.

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Speaker 2: I could predict a future.

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Speaker 3: Put in a Reddit story format and you can predictude.

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Speaker 2: I'll honestly think so. Give him an imail thirty knows

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Speaker 2: the end of it. No done, don't you don't need

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Speaker 2: to read it anymore.

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Speaker 1: The next day Jason apologized profusely and promise they'd never

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Speaker 1: do something like that again. I told him neither me

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Speaker 1: nor my husband wanted to have anything to do with them,

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Speaker 1: and would appreciate if you understood that.

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Speaker 2: He seemed to, but continue.

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Speaker 1: To pull away the next few months, and that leads

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Speaker 1: to what happened last week. Jason proposed to his girlfriend

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Speaker 1: about nine months back and has been preparing for the

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Speaker 1: wedding ever since. Of course, we were overjoyed for him,

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Speaker 1: but a few months went by. We've seen this before

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Speaker 1: and no invitation came. Every time we asked Jason, he

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Speaker 1: would say they hadn't been sent out yet and changed

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Speaker 1: the subject. Well, last week, my husband saw a Twitter

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Speaker 1: post from one of Jason's friends is roomsmen that went

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Speaker 1: a few weeks back with the invitation in hand. We

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Speaker 1: confronted Jason about it the next time he came over,

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Speaker 1: only for him to drop the bomb on us that

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Speaker 1: we had not been invited.

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Speaker 2: We asked why, why? John, why?

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Speaker 1: I want to know too, and he said his parents

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Speaker 1: didn't want us there and wouldn't come if we did.

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Speaker 2: So. Whose side are you on, Jason? Where do your

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Speaker 2: values lie?

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Speaker 1: Do you want to punish the people that have been

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Speaker 1: there for your entire life or the homophobic junkies that

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Speaker 1: just came in when it was convenient.

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Speaker 2: It's your choice, my boy.

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Speaker 1: Jason, you're the able. I was effing curious. I asked

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Speaker 1: him how he could choose those pieces of human garbage,

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Speaker 1: those pieces of trash over us. Why were they so important?

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Speaker 1: What did we do to deserve this kind of treatment?

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Speaker 1: His answer, they understand me better. They're my people. Ouch

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Speaker 1: ouch ouch ouch. At this point, my husband was crying,

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Speaker 1: asking how could he do this? Only ever been truly

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Speaker 1: angry a few times in life, and this moment managed

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Speaker 1: to top all of them. I threw him out right

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Speaker 1: then and there and told him to never come back,

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Speaker 1: that he wasn't our son anymore. I spent the rest

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Speaker 1: of the day hugging my husband and trying to calm

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Speaker 1: him down. The next day, I canceled everything that we

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Speaker 1: paid for the wedding, which was basically everything important even

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Speaker 1: the ones we couldn't get a refund on. Of course,

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Speaker 1: Jason had the gall to call and scream at me,

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Speaker 1: asking how I could do that to him. Where would

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Speaker 1: he find replacements for a wedding that was supposed to

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Speaker 1: happen only a few months from now? I told him

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Speaker 1: I didn't give a crap and said, maybe you should

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Speaker 1: ask those two leeches you call parents for some help.

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Speaker 1: Nineteen years, nineteen efing years of my gosh darned life

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Speaker 1: spent raising and loving a kid that I considered to

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Speaker 1: be my own son, only to be treated like garbage,

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Speaker 1: giving blood, sweat and tears so he would have a

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Speaker 1: good life all the love we could possibly give, and

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Speaker 1: that's what we get as a reward. Also, to anyone

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Speaker 1: who has thoughts on this story, please the m riley

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Speaker 1: and we will call you. As for why, I'm asking

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Speaker 1: if I'm the a hole? Obviously Jason's the a hole,

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Speaker 1: but I think Op's probably going to ask are they

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Speaker 1: the a hole for canceling everything?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: For the reaction, Yeah, some people have been calling and

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Speaker 1: messaging us, mostly Jason's friends and a few of our

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Speaker 1: family members, calling us heartless and monsters for doing what

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Speaker 1: we did. To him, and that's honestly got me questioning

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Speaker 1: if I went a bit too far in anger. After all,

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Speaker 1: parents are supposed to love unconditionally, right, But if so,

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Speaker 1: how do we ever get over something like this? How

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Speaker 1: can we deal with this feeling of betrayal? Are we

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Speaker 1: justified in feeling that?

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Speaker 2: So?

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Speaker 1: Am I the A Hole? There is an edit one

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Speaker 1: and two edits Edit one. I've added a comment for

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Speaker 1: the clarification on a few points you've seen asked in

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Speaker 1: the comments at two. I'm seeing quite a few racist

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Speaker 1: comments in this post, and to those people making them,

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Speaker 1: f U but John obviously Jason ungrateful piece of crap Sun, right,

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Speaker 1: but is op the A hole? Were basically saying you

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Speaker 1: are no son of mine, canceling all of the wedding stuff,

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Speaker 1: and kind of like, I don't know, slamming the door,

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Speaker 1: like the j slammed the door on them, and then

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Speaker 1: Ope slammed the door.

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Speaker 2: Right back, so breaking it all down.

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Speaker 5: I think first, talking about Jason the Sun, I think

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Speaker 5: in theorize, and obviously I'm no expert and could be wrong,

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Speaker 5: but I think in theorized what I said earlier, which

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Speaker 5: was he wants to build this road with his parents

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Speaker 5: that like abandon him, right, and he's having this I

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Speaker 5: don't even know what the term for it would be,

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Speaker 5: but he's trying to get back in there in their

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Speaker 5: good graces, even though he's never had their approval, he's

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Speaker 5: never even had them involved.

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Speaker 2: In his life.

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Speaker 1: And I think we talked about this in a story before,

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Speaker 1: but he's probably trying to curry their favor, yes, because

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Speaker 1: he doesn't want to be abandoned again. And so there's

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Speaker 1: this deep psychological thing of like he was abandoned by

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Speaker 1: these people and he just wants, desperately wants their approval

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Speaker 1: for any means. So that's not an excuse for his actions, no,

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Speaker 1: but I think gives us a little understanding.

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Speaker 5: I think it's deep trauma, and you know that does

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Speaker 5: deserve to be called out as what it is now

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Speaker 5: onto the parents. You know, the parents sacrifice so much.

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Speaker 5: They raised this kid that they weren't were and expecting

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Speaker 5: to I think did just taking on the task that

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Speaker 5: alone is doing a great job it loving this kid.

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Speaker 5: You know what, I think I'll say everyone is the

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Speaker 5: a hole here because even though Jason has very deep

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Speaker 5: traumas that he definitely deserves to have help with to

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Speaker 5: work through. I do not think that's something that his

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Speaker 5: parents deserve. That when I say his parents, I mean

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Speaker 5: his adoptive parents, like the people that raised him. And

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Speaker 5: then on the flip side, I honestly don't even necessarily

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Speaker 5: know if I blame Op for the initial reaction of

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Speaker 5: being so hurt after giving that much love in life.

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Speaker 5: But I think you kind of, after settling down, maybe

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Speaker 5: realize that maybe it is the trauma and him trying

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Speaker 5: to desperately get the approval of these two people that

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Speaker 5: are manipulating him into doing all this bidding and basically

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Speaker 5: getting them on there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean we were at a story like a little

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Speaker 1: bit ago about this guy named Rob who was totally

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Speaker 1: taken like he was the father figure for this person

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Speaker 1: and was continually just like not recognize it, and Lessandra Rivera,

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Speaker 1: thanks for the five buck tip, asks what would Rob do?

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Speaker 1: And if I was looking at the saint Rob who

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Speaker 1: basically I mean he forgave his like adopted daughter for

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Speaker 1: being so being so not not ignorant is the wrong word,

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Speaker 1: but being so obtuse in not like actually giving him

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Speaker 1: the care back that he gave to her. In that case,

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Speaker 1: Rob would forgive and I think the least a whole

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Speaker 1: thing to do would be to say, Jason, you're being

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Speaker 1: an absolute ahole. But when you're ready to stop, like

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Speaker 1: we're here, when you take on the role of a parent,

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Speaker 1: it's unconditional love for your child. Yeah, or at least

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Speaker 1: that's what I believe, And I think like, even if

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Speaker 1: my children are a holes, I think the door will

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Speaker 1: always be open for them to grow and not be

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Speaker 1: an a whole.

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Speaker 5: I don't think I would ever say you're not my child,

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Speaker 5: especially someone in Jason's position, who.

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Speaker 2: Has abandonment issues already, abandonment issues in deep trauma that

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Speaker 2: hurts too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Katie Lynn, inconsiderate, that's the word I was looking for.

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Speaker 1: They thank you, yeah for being so Yeah, inconsiderate. But

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of you are also saying should

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Speaker 1: there be repercussions for these actions?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely?

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Speaker 5: I think it's one trillion percent fair for there to

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Speaker 5: be repercussions.

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Speaker 2: Canceling all the wedding stuff.

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Speaker 5: I mean, ideally the punishment is the most effective vehicle

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Speaker 5: who help the person learn and get over the hump bar.

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Speaker 5: I don't know that canceling the Maybe I'm just thinking

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Speaker 5: out loud here, So bear with me all, but maybe

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Speaker 5: you almost like dangle a carot of like the rest, Like, Hey,

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Speaker 5: we want to throw a banger wedding for a son

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Speaker 5: that we love and who loves us, But I don't

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Speaker 5: think we can go and attend and honestly continue to

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Speaker 5: fund everything.

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Speaker 2: You totally broke our hearts. But we won't.

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Speaker 5: We won't pull out of what we've already already committed

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Speaker 5: because we do want to see you happy.

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Speaker 2: But realize what you're doing.

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Speaker 5: Realize what you're doing. We want to come and help celebrate,

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Speaker 5: almost like incentivizing him to.

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Speaker 1: But then it's like incentivize him with money, which is

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Speaker 1: not really a good incentive.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's definitely tough.

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Speaker 1: If your kid did this, would you cancel the wedding stuff?

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Speaker 1: If you're uninvited from the wedding, would you cancel it?

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Speaker 1: I'm on the fence. I like, I'm on the fence too, man,

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Speaker 1: I would be super hurt. I would probably cancel everything

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Speaker 1: that I could get back money from. Maybe, yeah, but

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Speaker 1: it's hard. Well, would you guys cancel? Would you guys

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Speaker 1: cancel stuff? I know, I know some of you guys

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Speaker 1: are are more petty than others, But would you cancel

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Speaker 1: or not.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I guess if you do cancel the things

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Speaker 2: you could get refunded, there's still a punishment quote unquote

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Speaker 2: like some of the things they'll have to go.

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Speaker 1: But it's not just fully petty. It's like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to get back stuff that I spent on. But

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Speaker 1: if it's like canceling stuff that you don't even get

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Speaker 1: refunds for, then like that's fully like I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: punish you and there's no upside for me.

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Speaker 5: I think maybe unfortunately here you have to play the

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Speaker 5: long game, which is you do all the saintly things

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Speaker 5: and treat them as best as possible. And so like, hey,

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna you know what, I'm gonna keep all my

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Speaker 5: all my commitments, and I believe long term, Jason and

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Speaker 5: has time.

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Speaker 2: To grow up.

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Speaker 5: And it might take a long time, you know what,

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Speaker 5: it might not ever happen, but eventually Jason will realize

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Speaker 5: here are these people that still backed me when I

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Speaker 5: turned my back on them for parents that abandoned me.

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Speaker 5: And I think that that will help Jason realize faster.

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Speaker 5: That's like, hey, we're still going to back you, and

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Speaker 5: we're still going to totally right to support you. You're

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Speaker 5: totally right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, yes, actions have consequences, but I don't

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Speaker 1: think like I. Generally, I'm more carrot than sticky with

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Speaker 1: showing people how to do the right thing. And I

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Speaker 1: think I agree with you. I think for that reason,

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Speaker 1: don't cancel anything, but just say, hey, Jason, we could

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Speaker 1: cancel everything right now, and we're not because we want

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Speaker 1: to see you happy. Whenever you're ready to walk through

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Speaker 1: that door and treat us with respect, we're here.

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Speaker 5: You best believe I'm going crazy in that thesaurus to

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Speaker 5: find the strongest word for disappointed that exists.

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Speaker 2: The nuclear disappointed will be dropped. But otherwise we will care.

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Speaker 3: We got Oh sorry, good?

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 1: I was just gonna say Riley's one of Riley's worst fears.

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Speaker 1: John's saying that he's disappointed, and just know that carries

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Speaker 1: some weight.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, hearing it from him would crush me. From

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Speaker 4: from Sam, like I'll be like I'll probably be down

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Speaker 4: for a day, but then like I'll get back up.

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Speaker 4: But hearing it from John, dude, I wouldn't know what.

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Speaker 5: But I could never You've never given me any reason

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Speaker 5: to ever be disappointed you.

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Speaker 3: Oh, and I always worry that I do have a.

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Speaker 2: Reason for he will never have to use the saurus exactly.

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Speaker 4: Dude, we got some doughnuts before we do our call

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Speaker 4: in from one of our fans. But if you guys

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Speaker 4: want to read those off before we do that.

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Speaker 5: Sure, they're saying, Foxy Cat, thanks for five bucks. What

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Speaker 5: do you do when your hubby had intentions to get

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Speaker 5: a spicy massage without your knowledge?

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Speaker 2: Sorry? Random needed advice. That's a big one.

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Speaker 1: You talk about it, Yeah, because that if that's not

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Speaker 1: in your relationship contract.

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Speaker 2: Say I don't want that and don't do that. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and if he does that, then harder conversation. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you did have a conversation right away, that's true.

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Speaker 5: Bring up with Sophie. Thanks for the two bucks. Hey

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Speaker 5: for a wedding you're not invited to, please be for real? Yeah,

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Speaker 5: I think you know there's probably a lot of people

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Speaker 5: in the comments room.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally understand, Like I would understand someone wanting

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Speaker 1: to not do that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think what we're trying to think is what is

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Speaker 1: the least a holish thing to do? Because I think

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Speaker 1: we're about we're about growth on this show, and like

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Speaker 1: what would actually help someone grow. I think John, you

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Speaker 1: said it beautifully. Just replay what John said, like, whatever

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Speaker 1: helps that person grow best is what you should do.

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Speaker 1: And I think what John said was the thing that

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Speaker 1: would help grow best.

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Speaker 2: We're growers and showers.

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Speaker 5: But so forgiveful. Sophie actually donates another five bucks. But

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Speaker 5: being a parent doesn't give you exclusive access slash. Raising

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Speaker 5: them isn't a fail proof method of them being good people.

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Speaker 5: This is just yeah, yeah, it's like you can do

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Speaker 5: all you can and it's not on you.

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Speaker 2: Ultimately, they still have free will. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

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Speaker 5: Matt Hadergalf for the five bucks, My money is on

403
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Speaker 5: that the birth parents want their child to give them money.

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Speaker 2: When he says no, they will balance. Ooh, maybe that's

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Speaker 2: down the pike. That's a good one. They might be

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Speaker 2: warming up.

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Speaker 5: And then, Elite Technician, thanks for a five bucks on

408
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Speaker 5: the link. This sounds like what my boyfriend's family is

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Speaker 5: going through with his sister.

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Speaker 1: That would suck. I'm sorry you're going through that, Elite Technician, but.

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Speaker 5: If you want to have us console you and work

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Speaker 5: through that, send it in.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And also, our entire members only community disagrees with us

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Speaker 1: and says, what would you do ninety percent if you

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Speaker 1: said cancel.

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Speaker 3: Yes, but let's get more ducks. His opinion on this.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, the question is would you cancel? Would you not?

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Speaker 2: Here we go, Hello, Hello, more ducks. How's it going?

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Speaker 2: That's going great?

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Speaker 6: How are you guys?

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Speaker 2: Very well? So questioned tag you would you cancel or

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Speaker 2: would you not? And why?

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Speaker 6: Well? As a petty ass person, I would say take everything,

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Speaker 6: But as a parent, I think I would do like

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Speaker 6: one big payment and say, you know, like the most

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Speaker 6: expensive thing, and say this is a gift to you

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Speaker 6: so you can still show them that you're still.

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Speaker 1: But then cancel the rest of the things that you

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Speaker 1: could get, like refunds.

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Speaker 7: For Oh yeah, I mean you're still petty, you know yeah, And.

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Speaker 5: I mean, you know, in defense of that, I think

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Speaker 5: it does because one could argue like, oh, you're rewarding

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Speaker 5: bad behavior by still paying for everything. You're giving them

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Speaker 5: a little which is like, hey, I'm still gonna support you,

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Speaker 5: i still love you, I'm gonna be here for you

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Speaker 5: when you're ready, and I'm you know, doing this, you know,

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Speaker 5: quote unquote good thing for you, giving you a gift,

439
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Speaker 5: but also your actions have consequences. At the same time,

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Speaker 5: so here's some consequences.

441
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,359
Speaker 2: Sweet spot. It's kind of a best of both worlds,

442
00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:31,359
Speaker 2: to be honest, More Ducks.

443
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,439
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, for sure. And then I mean at that point,

444
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,960
Speaker 7: he'll have to realize that, you know, the parents more

445
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,920
Speaker 7: than likely will straight up run back away from him

446
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,680
Speaker 7: and realize that they're not going to be there to

447
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 7: pay everything for him.

448
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:46,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, and with time, he'll probably learn. But my as

449
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,440
Speaker 1: John said, might take a ton of time.

450
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 5: And that's kind of scary. Like, I mean, you're you're

451
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 5: a parent, More Ducks, Like, how scary would it be

452
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,359
Speaker 5: to basically you're almost like letting your child go free

453
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,240
Speaker 5: into this like dangerous path quote unquote that you don't

454
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,680
Speaker 5: know when they're going to come back, Like how would

455
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:03,159
Speaker 5: you feel?

456
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:06,399
Speaker 7: I'm assuming my entire heart will break and I will

457
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,679
Speaker 7: worry about them every day. But in the end, I

458
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,240
Speaker 7: mean I just got a hope and wish that I

459
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,360
Speaker 7: did a good job raising them.

460
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.

461
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 1: My dad's favorite parenting quote is like, your kids are

462
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,119
Speaker 1: not your own. They're the sons of daughters of tomorrow.

463
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,879
Speaker 1: They come through you, not from you. You are the

464
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 1: bow from which their arrow flies.

465
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,880
Speaker 2: Oh that's beautiful, That is beautiful. Thank you so much

466
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,879
Speaker 2: for calling it for a ducks and give you your perspective.

467
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 7: Hi, thank you guys.

468
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,879
Speaker 2: I love y'all, Love you back soon, Bi guys.

469
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:33,280
Speaker 3: Bye.

470
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 2: Why is our community so good at like giving advice?

471
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:39,199
Speaker 2: It's so good. I do like that.

472
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,119
Speaker 1: I feel like that's like a perfect sweet spot.

473
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,720
Speaker 5: I probably sound like a broken record at this point,

474
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:47,199
Speaker 5: but I love when we're able to hear from people

475
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 5: who have the perspective of the people have been through.

476
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 5: We got a call just recently that like, oh, they

477
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,639
Speaker 5: had an emotional affair. We had a call from a

478
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 5: parent like these are people that are really close to

479
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:02,480
Speaker 5: the scenarios we are talking about giving their POV, which

480
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,400
Speaker 5: is so valuable.

481
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 1: But that is where that story ends, but not where

482
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 1: this episode ends, because we're going to get into this

483
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 1: next story.

484
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,399
Speaker 2: Which is one. Am I the a hole for telling

485
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,879
Speaker 2: my stepdaughter she is welcome