WEBVTT - Jess Hilarious: Being Yourself Is Never Too Much 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:02.279 What is that? What's happening? Why does that sting? 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:06.120 And now sometimes you can be like too much when 0:00:06.160 --> 0:00:09.440 I've been told that, like tone it down, like you 0:00:09.440 --> 0:00:13.119 you know at Baltimore can't come with you, which you 0:00:13.160 --> 0:00:16.239 mean that's what got me here. You know, evolution is beautiful, 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:16.759 but like. 0:00:18.360 --> 0:00:26.200 I will never lose my cord. Thanks for watching, guys. 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:28.520 Today's episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:31.040 She grew up in West Baltimore with a mouth that 0:00:31.120 --> 0:00:34.600 had no filter. She bet on herself with nothing but 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:37.440 a phone, a desk, and a rehab center for at 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:41.200 risk kids, then went viral. Nick Cannon gave her her shot. 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:43.800 Martin Lawrence put her in front of thirteen thousand people. 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:47.000 She earned her seat on the Breakfast Club table. But 0:00:47.240 --> 0:00:49.560 none of that is why she wrote her first book. 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:52.159 She wrote it for every cold parent who's had to 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:54.960 show up for a person who repeatedly broke their heart 0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:58.560 because their child needed them to Comedian actress radio host 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:08.120 now fulth and my girl Jesslaious in real life. 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:08.400 And oh my god, it's an honor to be here 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:10.480 just with the mess and her news is real all 0:01:10.520 --> 0:01:10.920 the time. 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:14.760 Angie, Hi mama, how are you? 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:16.200 How do you feel in that seat because I know 0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:17.960 you've been doing a lot of press. Yes, and I've 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:19.480 been doing a lot of watching I r L. And 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:21.319 I feel good to be here because girl, you don't 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:22.640 just be sitting down talking to anybody. 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:24.000 Oh you don't. 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:27.560 So I love this. This is oh my gosh, royalty. 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:30.520 So of course, yes, I feel good. 0:01:30.720 --> 0:01:33.080 You know you're a radio girl now too, Like for real? 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:35.320 Has that said in for you all the way yet? 0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:35.720 No? 0:01:35.720 --> 0:01:38.880 No, because you're a comedian right first you're comedian and 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:42.959 then you step right into this role with a vengeance. 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:47.440 Like I'm just saying, they put you into like the 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:51.320 Lions then the Lions Den, Yes, you're getting thrown in 0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:52.240 the water, shorty. 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:58.400 People don't always understand that, yeah, because if somebody sees 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:00.920 talent and potential, and you always had talent, people. 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:02.639 Were, you had a following, you had a whole career 0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:04.800 before you hit the breakfast club, which we'll get into tonight. 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:08.720 But that moment when you transition to something new, people 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:11.600 just assume, oh, she's talented. Of course she could go 0:02:11.639 --> 0:02:14.160 do the breakfast club, or of course she could go. 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:15.560 Do radio, or she could it. 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:19.760 But people don't always understand that when it's happening in 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:24.360 real time. It's tricky, it's hard, it's you. It's like 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:25.520 you're uncomfortable. 0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:29.040 What was that like for you? That moment? Man? When 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:31.280 I get there, Cause, like you said all the things. 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:33.040 I already got my own brand already, you know, like 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:35.560 I'm used to seeing whatever I want to say. I'm 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:40.120 used to being unfiltered jests. You get in, you're a pond, yes, yes, 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:43.520 and then you you are now and somebody else's pond 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:46.720 where it's two other people, two other big fish you know, 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:50.320 you know their dominant figures aufha. Everybody has their their 0:02:50.360 --> 0:02:53.920 own big energy. And now you're like, damn do I 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:58.240 fall back? How do I fit in? Is everybody going 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:01.720 to be susceptible to who I've been before I got here? 0:03:02.120 --> 0:03:05.760 Radio is so different because now I have to be censored. 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:07.919 You know, I can't say the things that I want 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:09.560 to say, or I gotta say. 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:10.160 Them a different way. 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:13.680 Learned it real quick, and I'm like, oh my god, 0:03:13.680 --> 0:03:15.799 that's why I want to do the part your podcast. 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:16.040 And not the radio. 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:17.840 I'm like, no, I want to get real and shitn't 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:19.600 want to say shit, bitch fuck. I want to say 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:21.919 all of that stuff like that it's doing you know 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:24.760 what I mean, and then getting up that early every day? 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:27.399 Who angie, I'm still not I'm in my third year 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:30.560 at the parksto. I'm still not used to What time 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:32.560 do you get up in the morning? Three thirty, between 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:33.400 three thirty and four? 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:35.600 Come on, yes, because you got to make up? You 0:03:35.600 --> 0:03:37.760 got because not only radio is not what it used 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:40.720 to be. You're not only heard anymore. Now you're seen 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:44.000 and shit, and it's like, yo, I gotta look presentable. 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:47.560 I'm not the makeup girly every day. I damn sure 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:48.440 what in the edges girly? 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:48.760 Every day? 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:51.480 I just got edges, So I'm like, damn now I 0:03:51.480 --> 0:03:54.000 gotta do them too, like girl, It's a lot, but 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:57.160 I am very thankful for the opportunity. And it's also 0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:01.240 taught me to think through things. I was always just 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:03.440 so quick, like because improv I'm a comedian. 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:04.720 We quick on our. 0:04:04.640 --> 0:04:06.680 Feet, you know, we clap back what I would even 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:10.600 thinking sometimes. But that's what radio has taught me, Like 0:04:10.680 --> 0:04:13.440 especially doing radio on New York, Like it has taught 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:16.479 me like you don't have to quickly respond to things, 0:04:16.520 --> 0:04:18.400 like think about it, and it's Okay, that's why you 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:20.360 got two other co hosts to fill in the gaps. 0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:20.960 For you, you know what I mean. 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:24.120 And then we got Lauren and I love that dynamic 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:26.920 as well. But I'm still getting used to whatever its 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:30.719 balance is because I still am just hilarious outside of 0:04:30.760 --> 0:04:32.960 Breakfast Club for so many known for so many other 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:35.000 things that I got to keep up as well. 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:36.320 You still got to keep doing that too. 0:04:36.440 --> 0:04:39.159 Yes, So I just wonder for you because I would 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:42.520 I from the outside could see you come in and 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:43.880 go that's tough. 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:47.080 Like I could see it. I could be like, that's tough. 0:04:47.160 --> 0:04:48.080 Number one, You're in it. 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:52.400 You're jumping into something that was already existing, right, somebody 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:55.320 else had already sat in that chair for since its inception, 0:04:55.520 --> 0:04:55.680 you know. 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:58.160 And she yes, shout out to her. 0:04:59.240 --> 0:05:01.000 I don't know, I just want And there's sometimes those 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:08.960 moments in women's lives and women's careers could feel you know, scary, lonely, vulnerable. 0:05:09.440 --> 0:05:13.359 Definitely, you know what I mean. And that's what it like. 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:15.280 That's what it was after I came down from the 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:19.480 high of actually getting the job, because you're like, yes, 0:05:19.520 --> 0:05:20.840 and I'm like, I'm going to do it every day 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:22.599 before I get I'm like, every day, oh my god, 0:05:22.600 --> 0:05:25.200 I'm hiring videographers and things like that. 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:26.440 They're putting together. 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:27.960 Like all these dope visuals because I'm really trying to 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:29.640 pitch myself for this third seat. 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:33.159 And then I get it, and I'm like, I do 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:33.880 this every day. 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:37.640 Now I gotta do it, you know, Okay, four o'clock 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:41.599 every day. Then damn okay, now I'm pregnant, Oh my god, 0:05:41.680 --> 0:05:43.200 and then this is oh wow. 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:50.480 You know. So it was it felt very. 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:54.080 It was challenging, but like there were times I did 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:58.520 feel lonely alone. I felt like, all right, I need 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:00.279 to take a class to get where right. 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:01.599 There was no. 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:04.640 Training I got through, and like, you know, I guess 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:06.960 how to fit in at the radio or to how 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:08.440 to do this radio job. 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:11.240 It's like and then the biggest challenge for me off 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:12.880 the rip. I could see it even when I was 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:16.080 guest co hosting was interviews because I don't be knowing 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:18.240 what the hell to asks these people. You know what 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:22.919 I mean, you got Charlemagne that everybody got their own niche, 0:06:22.960 --> 0:06:24.480 you know what I mean, Like you got Charlomage. 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:27.040 He gonna get real deep and gay, like he gonna 0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:27.919 get it like you know. 0:06:27.960 --> 0:06:30.200 I'm like, damn, you can't be therapeutic and gay, you 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:31.760 know at the same time. You know, you got to 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:34.000 meet people a certain place, and you got envy that 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:37.359 always want to go from the beginning and always I 0:06:37.400 --> 0:06:39.240 want to ask you, how did you get into this? 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:42.440 So I can't go that route because that's him, He's 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:43.120 the beginning man. 0:06:43.200 --> 0:06:46.599 Then you got Laurie. Yes, Then you got Lauren. 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:49.480 She she's gonna bang up in some scene from nineteen 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:52.680 ninety two that these people nine times out of ten 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:55.599 forgot and got scrubbed from the internet. But she gonna 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:57.440 go in the back pocket and get it with her 0:06:57.520 --> 0:07:01.040 TMZ back. Don't having ass, you know. And then I'm there, like, 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:03.880 how was your flight? What you're doing after this? 0:07:03.960 --> 0:07:04.600 What you like to eat? 0:07:04.680 --> 0:07:04.840 Girl? 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:07.320 I don't be knowing what the hell to ask. I've 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:09.600 gotten better, I feel like, but I'm like, damn, is there. 0:07:09.520 --> 0:07:11.160 A class that I got to take on? This like 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:14.400 a good trick for you. Wish you would have called me. 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:17.000 I don't help you. I would have helped you to 0:07:17.040 --> 0:07:18.520 be like, girl, I need to fight. I was like, 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:21.960 all right, your option. I'm still trying to figure it out. 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:24.000 You know what I found to be my Niche is 0:07:24.080 --> 0:07:26.960 right when things are because you know, you at the 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:29.320 breakfast club, you're in a bit of a hot seat, 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:33.480 especially if you've done something that went public viral, and 0:07:33.560 --> 0:07:35.760 you know, any type of controversy or whatever, they gonna 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:37.400 bring it up. Even if you submit a list and 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:39.160 say don't bring it up, that may them bring it 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:39.800 up even quicker. 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:43.240 You know what I mean. I have learned to be 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:44.080 the comedic. 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:46.800 Relief in the room, like okay, now, I make people 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:48.880 feel comfortable to be there when they think the total 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:50.520 opposite because a lot of people that come there they 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:53.200 know me is just with the mess, so they looking 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:54.800 at me to be messing. I'm like, no, that's that 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:57.400 boyhead nigga right there, like you're gonna do it. And 0:07:57.440 --> 0:08:00.000 then that's Lauren over there too because she's real journy 0:08:00.600 --> 0:08:03.800 loving and respected. But me, being a comedian, I make 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:05.880 the people laugh. I make them feel comfortable. I make 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:08.160 them feel like, okay, all right, this ain't so bad, 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:10.600 all right, and then they leaning more to me. 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:13.000 Yeah, I'm like, okay, this is to be my name 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.280 saying just be who you are, Just be who you are. 0:08:15.480 --> 0:08:18.840 Yeah, yeah, that is always the answer to everything, Lord, 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:20.800 every answer every question in life. 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:22.600 It's like, get to the truth of who you are. 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:25.960 Yeah, I'll help you answer that question, even in that 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:28.200 little problem, right right, right. 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.480 So when I asked them, how how is your flight? 0:08:30.680 --> 0:08:32.760 They feel good that the heat is now off for 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:35.160 something that they did twenty years ago. Yeah, haven't you 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:37.160 rely on comedy like you look at you look for 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:39.880 the I don't know, the common thing that's. 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:42.360 Funny in the moment. Absolutely, and you tap into that, 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:44.040 which is why a you're good. You're good at what 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:44.320 you do. 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:47.800 And the fact that I'm a mom too, because we 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:50.280 had we have no moms on the show. You know, Lauren, 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:52.559 she wants to be a mom, you know, one day, 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:56.480 but she's not Envy Charlemagne. They have wives who are 0:08:56.480 --> 0:08:58.920 moms or whatever, but they're not a mom. 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That must 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:13.719 have been hard, though, because I know you had postpartum 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:14.320 and stuff like that. 0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:14.800 I can't. 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:17.199 So you're already in this new job that you got 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.000 to get up three o'clock in the morning, that you're 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:22.000 learning how to do interviews, you have a public controversy 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:24.320 that happens that we'll get into a little bit later. Yes, 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:27.559 all that stuff is going on, and then you're pregnant 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:30.520 with postpartum and showing up for work. 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:34.800 Well, when you get back to work, Yeah, that's hard. 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:35.640 It was hard. 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:39.920 It was breastfeeding. It was like the walls were closing 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:43.680 in on me. And you don't know that you're facing 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:47.360 or dealing with postpartum until you come out of it, 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:49.040 like or at least that's how it was for me. 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:51.000 I've heard other women describe it to be the same 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:53.440 for them, but I didn't know what that looked like. 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.640 I didn't have postpartum depression with my son, and I 0:11:56.679 --> 0:12:00.560 went through like one of what I would call the 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.640 worst pregnancy of pregnancies of my life, pregnant with my son, 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:05.720 because I know we'll get into that later, but like 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:11.040 I planned me and my husband planned our daughter, and 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:14.400 postpartum hit me. I think it was like so much 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:16.679 I was trying to focus on. 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:18.520 Uh. 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:21.240 I thought like I went through a period where I 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:26.640 didn't think I was funny. I stopped writing comedy. I 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:31.600 was doubting myself in every every area, you know, and 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:34.080 there was nothing that my husband can do for me 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:35.320 to make me feel better. 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:36.520 And I did. 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:39.840 I still was like postpartum depression. No, that's not me, 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:42.640 because I didn't know how to identify it, you know. 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:46.880 And then I don't even know, Like you just didn't 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:48.920 expect it. I didn't expect it because I'm like, yo, 0:12:48.960 --> 0:12:50.240 everything is going good in my life. 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:50.439 You know. 0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:53.960 I'm I'm successful here, I'm successful there. I got businesses 0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:57.120 that I'm running. My all is coming together, Like, yeah, 0:12:57.240 --> 0:13:04.560 your husband, how could I be going through postpartum depression? 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:09.200 Nah? Like you really, it doesn't matter what era you 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:10.319 are in in your life. 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:12.760 It's gonna hit you when it's gonna hit you. You know, 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:14.760 it doesn't matter who you are, it's gonna hit you. 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:17.560 And I didn't realize it until I came out. What 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:19.599 does that feel like for somebody who hasn't experience it? 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:21.680 For you, like, what is the low point? What is 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:24.920 the moment where you're like fuck? You feel guilty all 0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:27.640 the time, like you can't do anything right for your child. 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:31.480 I felt like because I wasn't because I was breastfeeding, 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:34.800 I felt like out of nowhere, I wasn't making enough 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:37.520 milk for her. So I felt like a failure as 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:39.600 a mom. I felt like I wasn't a good wife. 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:44.000 I felt like I started having a parental guilt with 0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:48.000 my son, like, oh my god, is he looking at 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:52.880 me as a selfish parent? Because I wasn't able to 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:55.880 give him the things that I can give his sister 0:13:56.120 --> 0:14:00.120 at at her age when he was that young. You know, Oh, 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:04.520 I'm thinking even girl, And I would never in my life, 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:06.880 but I was thinking even like damn is my son 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:09.560 looking at me like damn, why couldn't she stay with 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:10.160 my father? 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:12.319 Why couldn't she have stayed with my dad? Oh, you're 0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:13.439 putting yourself through it? 0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:13.880 Girl? 0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:17.320 And I know, girl, if I could go back and 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:20.520 look at myself going through that moment, like, girl, please, 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:22.880 there's no way that she would ever even go back 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:26.920 with Rome ever, like he got a baby daddy name Jerome, Like, no, 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:27.960 why would you even do that? 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:28.360 You know? 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:31.840 But like I said, I thought, I thought Breakfast Club 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:35.400 would trying to replace me, you know, with Lauren for sure, 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:37.800 you know, like, and that was the big elephant in 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.040 the room. And then I'm going through the comments and 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:42.440 I'm not liking what I see, and you know, it's 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:44.720 people who loved me. Then it was people who was 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:48.320 like who wanted her to be on the show over me, 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:49.760 And it was people who wanted me back. Then it 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:51.720 was people that was like, well, like, none of them 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:54.080 bring Angela back. I was like, shit, you know what 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:54.520 I mean? 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:57.280 It was so much comments will kill you, girl. 0:14:57.920 --> 0:14:59.680 They're ready to kill you in real life, just on 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:03.000 a day, let alone, in the middle of postpartum. Those 0:15:03.040 --> 0:15:05.720 comments are going I can only I can't even imagine. 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:09.480 I can't imagine. No, no, And then. 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:14.280 In my mind I also was like thinking about what 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:17.520 if this don't work, thenk you're a two time baby mama. 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:19.880 Then then you got to write another book. You know, 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:22.120 and I'm telling my husband these things. 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:24.360 He's like, what the hell is wrong with you? What 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:26.760 are you talking about? Like, no, I'm here, what's wrong? 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.240 You know? Did you know did somebody identify like, hey, 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:31.600 this might be postpartum? 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:34.680 No, no, I was. 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:36.120 I didn't want to go to the doctor because I 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:39.280 didn't I didn't want to see a therapist. 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:43.000 I didn't want the confirmation. Like I was scared for 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:45.720 that to be the confirmation. Yeah, I'm like, nah, he's 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:48.600 just move swings like nah, nah, I didn't want to. 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:52.120 I was afraid of the the clarity that I would 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:55.720 get the diagnosis. I'm like nah, no, but I'm just 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:58.920 coming out of it, to be honest with you, it's 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:00.720 been like a month and now, yeah, my daughter is 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:03.600 about to be two August twentieth, she's about to be too, 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:06.120 And I'm like, damn, I was in that shit for 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:07.000 over a year. 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:10.400 So you're just kind of you're kind of just assessing 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:12.840 it now, like, ye, right, is the book the book 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:17.360 probably helped you pull that up a little bit? No? No, no, 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:20.440 so this is very recent that you're just in this 0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:21.120 new space. 0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:21.560 Yep. 0:16:22.280 --> 0:16:24.880 Yeah, because even and I'm glad that she brought up 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:29.880 that you could even see it visibly, like not that 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:34.240 you were saying you saw the postpartum depression, but you 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:36.720 saw like you kind of see because you come from 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:39.480 this world. She's struggling a little bit, like she trying 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:41.280 to find her place, and it's like, you know, and 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:43.400 I know if you see it, my fancy it. People 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:46.800 were writing me, like my parents seen it, my you know, 0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:50.040 my mom, my pastor everybody is like, yo, you good, 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:52.440 you are right, You're not really yourself sitting up there, 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:52.720 you know. 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:54.080 And this was once I came back. 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:57.600 You know, I felt like I never got my mojo back, 0:16:57.960 --> 0:17:01.680 like never got it after I came back. 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:04.200 Yeah, I'm just starting to step into That's funny because 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:07.760 I didn't see it like that so much. I didn't think, well, 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:09.640 you know, I didn't know you that well before. Yeah, 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:12.399 so I didn't know the difference. But I could just 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:14.399 imagine and I could see just from some of the 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:16.560 limited conversations and everything that happened. I feel like I 0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:19.200 could see that, and also I know that feeling I've 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:21.520 been in a new slot or in a new thing. 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:22.080 Maybe not. 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:23.960 I've been a rady a long time, so maybe not 0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:27.440 the exact experience, but enough of an experience. 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:31.440 To be plopped into a new situation where your life fun. Yeah. 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:35.040 Yeah, and everybody got an opinion and everybody and then 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:35.879 when you're in your. 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:39.040