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Speaker 1: Reality with the King is hosted by me, Carlos King.

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Speaker 1: I'm an executive producer who have produced some of your

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Speaker 1: favorite shows from the Real Housewives in Atlanta, New Jersey

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Speaker 1: and my own creation, The Love and Marriage Franchise and

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Speaker 1: Bell Collective. Every episode, we recap reality television from the

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Speaker 1: Real Housewives Franchise to The Bachelor or Selling Sunset, in

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Speaker 1: addition to celebrity guests, whether in the unscripted space or

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Speaker 1: scripted as well. Rain Drops Happy twenty twenty six. Look

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Speaker 1: y'all have been asking me in twenty twenty four and

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty five about this interview, and I'm here to

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Speaker 1: say finally, I am giving y'all what y'all want. This

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Speaker 1: is her first exclusive sit down interview since being Really Ladies, gentlemate,

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Speaker 1: gays and days give it up for my friend, my beauty,

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Speaker 1: our girl.

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Speaker 2: British Williams.

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Speaker 3: Oh, Carlos, I'm so happy to see you.

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Speaker 2: You look amazing.

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Speaker 4: You.

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Speaker 1: You know the last time we chatted, you know, before

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Speaker 1: you had to turn yourself in. We'll get into that later,

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Speaker 1: but remember I was saying to you, like you're really pretty.

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Speaker 2: You're like thank you, Yes, you look even better now.

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Speaker 4: Everybody you know what. I don't know if I should

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Speaker 4: be offended telling me that, or how I should feel

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Speaker 4: about it, but I agree, I appreciate it, and I

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Speaker 4: think I'm just I'm a different person a little bit

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Speaker 4: now a lot. Honestly.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say, listen, serving time in prison, and

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Speaker 1: you served for two years? Right?

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Speaker 2: Two years? How many months?

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Speaker 4: Nineteen months?

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Speaker 2: Two years and nine?

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Speaker 4: No, two years and nicety ball when you do I

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Speaker 4: don't know time? You do it months? It's like, you know,

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Speaker 4: I had forty I got a forty eight month sins,

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Speaker 4: but I only have to do nineteen months of it.

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Speaker 4: Then I did four months on house arrest.

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Speaker 2: So we'll get into that in a second.

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Speaker 1: But my point is, of course that situation, I hope

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Speaker 1: it would have changed you. So before we get into

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Speaker 1: the particulars, I just want to ask you, like, how

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Speaker 1: are you doing.

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Speaker 4: I'm doing really good. I'm not gonna lie and tell

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Speaker 4: you that I don't have like social anxiety a little bit.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes I'm like, ooh, it's too much stimulation. Like my

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Speaker 4: daughter says, Mom, I'm overstimulated. So I've started being like,

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Speaker 4: maybe I've over stimulated.

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Speaker 2: Oh is she saying that?

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Speaker 4: She's like Okay, this is too much. The dog is

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Speaker 4: over stimulating me, and I'm like what. So I'm kind

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Speaker 4: of at a point where sometimes like a lot of

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Speaker 4: loud noises is a lot for me, or sometimes where

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Speaker 4: it's like people talking to me all at one time,

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Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, I need like a break. Like I've

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Speaker 4: really learned how to use what I call my exit

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Speaker 4: strategy when I think I'm a little bit too overwhelmed.

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Speaker 4: So I still get a lot more over them now

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Speaker 4: than I used to. I think is that it used

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Speaker 4: to being back into the society and the.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's all. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well look, I have to say this, and I do

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Speaker 1: want you to hear this from me as well, and

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Speaker 1: a lot of people do feel this way. Obviously, you

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Speaker 1: did the crime, and you did your time right, and

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Speaker 1: I don't believe in judging anybody when it comes to that,

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Speaker 1: because that's not my ministry. However, what I would like

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Speaker 1: to say is we're happy you're home. So let's go

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Speaker 1: back to listen our interview. You shed so much light

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Speaker 1: on your situation. Not to get into the weeds of it,

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Speaker 1: because we've already talked about that, but obviously you know

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Speaker 1: you were you were sentenced of four years in federal

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Speaker 1: prison where you did played guilty of fifteen counts of felony. Right,

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Speaker 1: some of the things included, you know, things with irs

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Speaker 1: and loans and all the other stuff. I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to read all of that because that's the past. But

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Speaker 1: you were sentenced to four years. Your judge immediately God, you, judge,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Your attorney immediately released a statement saying that

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Speaker 1: the four year sentence was egregious and he felt that

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Speaker 1: you weren't being sentenced for the crime you did. You

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Speaker 1: were being sentenced for being a celebrity who did the crime.

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Speaker 1: At that time when you were sentenced to four years,

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Speaker 1: did you also feel like, listen, I played guilty, so

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Speaker 1: clearly I did something wrong.

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Speaker 2: But did you feel that four years worth too much? Then?

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Speaker 4: I did?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I did?

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Speaker 2: Then?

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Speaker 4: Okay, Now I've come to a point where I have

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Speaker 4: taken full accountability for my actions. I've come to a

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Speaker 4: point where as I really shit and became these new

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Speaker 4: layers of myself, shared those layers to become the new

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Speaker 4: version of myself. I've realized that there were a lot

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Speaker 4: of things about me that needed to change, and I

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Speaker 4: don't think that those things would have been able to

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Speaker 4: change if I had not went to prison. Prison gave

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Speaker 4: me this new outlook on life. It gave me so

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Speaker 4: much humility. I was able to see other people in

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Speaker 4: different life. I was able to be with the people

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Speaker 4: that I'm like, God, you went through that, or Oh

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Speaker 4: my God, that happened to you. I was able to. Really,

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Speaker 4: I've never had as much time in my life to

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Speaker 4: be able just to have me time to myself, to

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Speaker 4: be able to it sounds crazy, but to be honest

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Speaker 4: with you, I never I never felt free until my

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Speaker 4: freedom was taken away. And that's just the plain that

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Speaker 4: to me.

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Speaker 1: I never felt free until my freedom was taken away.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I think what happened for me was that I

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Speaker 4: learned to know myself again. I think I had got

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Speaker 4: to a point where I wasn't living the reality star,

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Speaker 4: I wasn't living in the reality of the world. I

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Speaker 4: have my own way of thinking or the way that

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Speaker 4: things should go, and not knowing that the rest of

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Speaker 4: the world is not living how I'm living, or the

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Speaker 4: rest of the world is not in that space that

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Speaker 4: I'm in, and that I am totally ungrateful. I was

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Speaker 4: so ungrateful, I was so entitled. I was that had

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Speaker 4: no humility at all, none at all. I didn't and

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Speaker 4: I am just at a point. I've read a book

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Speaker 4: while I was in prison. It is Oprah's her her

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Speaker 4: when she used to do her Soulful Sundays, but she

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Speaker 4: would have her interviews and she took like a correlation

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Speaker 4: to put all of these books together, like all these

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Speaker 4: different interviews and put into a book. And something that

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Speaker 4: I read was you have to learn how to take

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Speaker 4: your taking, taking the things you put expectations and replacing

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Speaker 4: them with appreciation. And that's something that I'm like literally

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Speaker 4: lived by now. Even when it comes to my child,

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Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, you need to appreciate that a little

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Speaker 4: bit more, or like you're very spoiled, and I know

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Speaker 4: it's our fault because we spoil her, but I need

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Speaker 4: you to understand that people have way less than you

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Speaker 4: and that those things can be taken away from you.

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Speaker 4: Being able to be in prison, I went from you know,

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Speaker 4: being able to do anything I thought I could want

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Speaker 4: to do to being able to have to be the

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Speaker 4: same as everyone else. It was wearing green uniforms, eating

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Speaker 4: the same food. Like you you're you're stuck into what

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Speaker 4: you're being told what to do, there's nothing you can

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Speaker 4: do about it, and you're stuck in a place where

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Speaker 4: you can't leave. And it just put me in a

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Speaker 4: different space to where I am now, my health wise,

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Speaker 4: Like when people say health is wealth, it's a real

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Speaker 4: thing for me. Now. I work out six times a week.

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Speaker 4: I'm with my track. Yes, I'm obsessed with working out.

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Speaker 1: I run.

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Speaker 4: It started off from being in prison. Weren't running on

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Speaker 4: the track and going out to like we call it

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Speaker 4: like going outside, like going on the track, and I

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Speaker 4: would go and I would run, and I would go

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Speaker 4: to the gym and I would just kind of work out.

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Speaker 4: But now it's like it's a part of my lifestyle

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Speaker 4: every day. Like this morning, I got up. I had't

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Speaker 4: worke out in three days because it was my birthday

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Speaker 4: this weekend, and I was like, getting up and go

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Speaker 4: to the gym. I did. I did three and a

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Speaker 4: half miles on a treadmill. I was like, yeah, I

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Speaker 4: felt better, you know. So. I think it's just I

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Speaker 4: really had to understand that the things that I thought

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Speaker 4: were okay with me were not okay. Like I really

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Speaker 4: wasn't entitled. Bitch's no other way around it. That's really

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Speaker 4: how I felt, and I really went through counseling, and

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Speaker 4: I went through a program in prison that really had

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Speaker 4: me dig deep into who I was as a person

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Speaker 4: and to dig deep into the people that I've affected

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Speaker 4: in my life. And I don't think that I was

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Speaker 4: able to look at those things from being able to

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Speaker 4: be objective from all parties. I wasn't objective. I wasn't

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Speaker 4: objective person at all. I always saw stuff how I

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Speaker 4: wanted to see and what I thought was okay. And

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Speaker 4: that's just not a way to be able to be

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Speaker 4: to live your life, or to be able to be

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Speaker 4: a part of the world if you want to actually

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Speaker 4: make an impact on the world.

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Speaker 1: To me, that is beautiful because the thing is this,

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Speaker 1: you are such a different woman than who I met,

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Speaker 1: like almost two years ago, right because at that time, look,

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Speaker 1: I'm just being real with you. I even felt that

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Speaker 1: you were in denial about the things you did. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I, respectfully, of course, just wanted you

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Speaker 1: to tell your truth. But I really was like, the

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Speaker 1: reality hasn't hit her yet. And the beauty of your

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Speaker 1: situation is you allow yourself to really deal with the

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Speaker 1: ramifications of your actions.

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Speaker 2: So with that being said, can you walk.

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Speaker 1: Us through the first day you were in prison and

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Speaker 1: what that was like, because, again in your words, not mine,

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Speaker 1: here's this entitled bitch walking into.

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Speaker 2: Prison for the very first time.

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Speaker 4: Well, let's let let's take it back a step further.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I think I was.

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Speaker 4: I was so entitled at the fact that I didn't

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Speaker 4: even go self surrender on time because my lawyer told me,

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Speaker 4: don't self surrender. It's fine, we're gonna put that pill in.

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Speaker 4: They'll give you this, they'll give you that. Just totally

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Speaker 4: in denial about what was going on, like I had

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Speaker 4: to go to prisons like that is just what it was.

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Speaker 4: And I didn't seb surrender on time. So a week later,

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Speaker 4: the marshals came to my house. They didn't kick the

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Speaker 4: door downs with they have marshals all around my house.

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Speaker 4: They came, they arrest me. You have a federal warrant.

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Speaker 4: You know you're supposed to be in prison this time,

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Speaker 4: blah blah blah. And I was going to a camp

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Speaker 4: at the time. I was going to Alderson Camp. And

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Speaker 4: because I didn't go to camp, I was put behind

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Speaker 4: the wall. So I was really in prison. I wasn't

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Speaker 4: at camp. I was I was behind the wall in prison.

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Speaker 4: So for nineteen months I did. I did all my

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Speaker 4: time in prison, person not in camp.

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Speaker 1: Waste hold on because you did not self surrender. Your

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Speaker 1: punishment was instead of going to camp, they said, Okay,

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Speaker 1: since you did this, we're now going to.

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Speaker 4: Put a management variable on you and you're going to

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Speaker 4: go to prison because that you're gonna go behind the

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Speaker 4: wall because we have to make sure you're not gonna

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Speaker 4: run because the camp you could just leave if you

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Speaker 4: wanted to. Technically, I mean, listen, you gotta I am

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Speaker 4: a firm believer in it doesn't matter what you do.

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Speaker 4: Maybe not two years ago I didn't believe it, but

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Speaker 4: you gotta pay for what you do. That's just what

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Speaker 4: it is, and you have to end whatever whatever you

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Speaker 4: put out in the world. People think karma is not

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Speaker 4: a real thing, but karma is such a real thing.

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Speaker 4: And I think that for me, I was thinking that oh,

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Speaker 4: maybe I was doing all of this, or I was

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Speaker 4: making I was doing these crimes. There wasn't really a

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Speaker 4: big deal because all black people do it, and this

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Speaker 4: and this and that, all these excuses, when in reality,

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Speaker 4: all I had to do is walk on the straight

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Speaker 4: and narrow and to understand that God has given me

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Speaker 4: so many blessings. He's given me so many opportunities. He's

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Speaker 4: put me in position, and he keeps giving it to me,

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Speaker 4: and he keeps giving it to me. He keeps giving

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Speaker 4: it to me. He's like, Okay, I'm gonna get the

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Speaker 4: ball again. Let me see if you're gonna balance it?

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Speaker 1: Are you?

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Speaker 4: Are you?

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Speaker 2: Are you?

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Speaker 4: Are you gonna balance it? Are you? And I think

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Speaker 4: that if I wouldn't have set down and really gotten

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Speaker 4: to the word of God and reading my Bible and

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Speaker 4: reading so many different I've read so many books. I

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Speaker 4: studied forty eight Laws of Power for nine months. Oh

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Speaker 4: It's probably the horrible, most horrible thing that I've ever done,

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Speaker 4: because now I dissect everything. I hate it. But it's

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Speaker 4: like I just really was able to put my all

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Speaker 4: into figuring out what my purpose was. And I think

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Speaker 4: a lot a lot for me. I used to walk

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Speaker 4: in how much why am I going to make? Or

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Speaker 4: what am I going to do for this? And how

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Speaker 4: much money is this going to take? And and now

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Speaker 4: I just don't feel like that no more. Now it's

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Speaker 4: like I'm walking in my purpose and whatever my purpose

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Speaker 4: is that God has given me the money will come

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Speaker 4: with it. That's just where I'm at with it. I've

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Speaker 4: been trying to make decisions about starts. I'm like, I

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Speaker 4: don't know if that really goes. I used to go

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Speaker 4: with things against things that I thought was a part

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Speaker 4: of my integrity, and now I refuse to do anything

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Speaker 4: that I feel I could hinder my brand. And I

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Speaker 4: can feel like that my daughter may look at me

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Speaker 4: crazy for ten years from now. I'm just in a

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Speaker 4: different space about how I do things. And I just

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Speaker 4: think that no matter what, God is going to leave

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Speaker 4: me in the right way and with his grace and

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Speaker 4: his mercy, it's just nothing that I won't be able

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Speaker 4: to accomplish with whatever it is that he wants me

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Speaker 4: to do.

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Speaker 1: Now, what I want to do, I love that. Listen,

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Speaker 1: everybody knows I'm very spiritual. So everything you're saying is gospel.

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Speaker 1: I'm really loving this growth that I'm seeing with you.

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Speaker 1: So what was prison like for you for those nineteen months? Oh?

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Speaker 4: My god? The first day in prison, I walked in,

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Speaker 4: I got I took a bus across. We went from Oh,

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Speaker 4: I flew we call it Conye. It was a private plane,

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Speaker 4: but it wasn't my type of private plane.

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Speaker 2: No plush seats, honey, No.

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Speaker 4: They have you literally chained at your chain, in your

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Speaker 4: at your at your hands, You're chained at your feet.

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Speaker 1: And Ninnie Lee's and Carlos King are going on tour,

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Speaker 1: starting with a two city stop in February. On Tuesday,

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Speaker 1: February twenty fourth, we are headed to Rally, North Carolina.

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Speaker 1: On Thursday, February twenty sixth, we are headed to Nashville, Tennessee.

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Speaker 1: Tickets are on sale now, make sure you get them

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Speaker 1: before they sell out. See you there, to.

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Speaker 4: Be honest with you, And it's funny when you think

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Speaker 4: about it, and when I really think about it, it's

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Speaker 4: not funny because it's almost like you look like it's

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Speaker 4: so many cause you're on there with me and it

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Speaker 4: maybe like fifteen women in every the rest of the

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Speaker 4: planet is nothing but men. It almost looks like slaves,

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Speaker 4: like a slavery coming in and out. The planes are

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Speaker 4: coming up, they're coming down, they're dropping them off, they

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Speaker 4: dropping dow, theyre picking them up, they're ropping them down,

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Speaker 4: and it's like so really sad to see because I'm

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Speaker 4: watching like it's like to some of them it's their

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Speaker 4: new normal, like they go to prison over and over again,

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Speaker 4: and it's like they don't understand the capacity of what

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Speaker 4: it is doing to their community or what is doing

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Speaker 4: to their family. I think for me being in prison,

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Speaker 4: it was like I walked in and I had to

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Speaker 4: They put me in this unit and I had these

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Speaker 4: bunks and I was like, this is the cover. The

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Speaker 4: covers was brown covers with holes in them, and we

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Speaker 4: had to figure out how to I learned how to jail.

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Speaker 4: Though I learned. I learned how to jail. And but

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Speaker 4: the first the first six months, I cried every single

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Speaker 4: day I would want a shower, I would just cry.

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Speaker 4: I wouldn't cry because I didn't want them to think

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Speaker 4: I was weak, but I was crying to shower. I'm like,

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Speaker 4: oh my god, I can't believe I'm here. Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: I don't deserve it. Oh my god, oh my god.

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Speaker 4: It was always it was always me telling myself for

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Speaker 4: those first six months that this hit couldn't be happening

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Speaker 4: to me, like I don't deserve this. So I got

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Speaker 4: to the point where I had to really take accountability

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Speaker 4: that British, I need you to understand that this is

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Speaker 4: me talking to myself. You did something wrong. You need

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Speaker 4: to take accountability for that. You need to pay the price,

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Speaker 4: which is at the time of list, which the judge

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Speaker 4: gave you was forty eight months. You have to do

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Speaker 4: the time that he's given you. And it's weird because

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Speaker 4: I told my probation officer, I was like, I really

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Speaker 4: want to talk to my judge and have a conversation

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Speaker 4: on him. And she was like what. I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I kind of want to thank him, you know, And

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Speaker 4: she was like, write him a letter. He was like,

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Speaker 4: he always wants to. They read all the letters. And

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Speaker 4: I was like, I used to be so angry with him,

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Speaker 4: like I thought that he like, I'm like, he doesn't

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Speaker 4: have a heart. He's hardly She took me away from

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Speaker 4: my daughter. He did this, and he said something to

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Speaker 4: me when he sent it to me, and he said you,

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Speaker 4: He said, you just told me in your letter that

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Speaker 4: you knew what you were doing, and you did it anyway.

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Speaker 4: He said, you are a public figure and you have

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Speaker 4: a higher responsibility to the people that look up to

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Speaker 4: you than a regular person does. And when I first

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Speaker 4: heard that then it was like the nerve of you

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Speaker 4: to think that I'm supposed to be better than somebody

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Speaker 4: because this is what I do, or the nerve for

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Speaker 4: you to think that you should sends me based on this,

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Speaker 4: But in reality he was so right. God has given

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Speaker 4: me an opportunity to be able to be in a

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Speaker 4: space to have a platform, to be able to be

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Speaker 4: a voice for them. And instead of me being a

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Speaker 4: positive voice and being there to be as as as

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Speaker 4: a great example of what people should do, I decided

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Speaker 4: to do it the wrong way. So I might have

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Speaker 4: affected some women or girls or whoever that might think

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Speaker 4: that what I did was okay and then when it

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Speaker 4: did that and maybe they could be in the same predicament.

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Speaker 4: Or I might have disappointed some of my fans because

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Speaker 4: they didn't think that I would do that because they

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Speaker 4: saw me as this hard working mother or you know,

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Speaker 4: an entrepreneur. So in reality, he's right. I do hold

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Speaker 4: a higher standard to the world of how I should

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Speaker 4: display and what I should do. And now I leve

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Speaker 4: everybody less. Means I don't even want a handicapped placker.

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Speaker 4: I want nothing to do with nothing illegal. Whatever's going on,

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Speaker 4: please keep me out of it. And I'm acting and

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Speaker 4: I've learned conspiracy is a real thing. Conspiracy is me

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Speaker 4: and you can be sitting here talking and we could

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Speaker 4: be like, let's go rob this back downtown, and whether

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Speaker 4: we go rob it or not, that's conspiracy. They can

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Speaker 4: get you on it. So anybody talks about and oh,

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Speaker 4: I don't even want to hear it.

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Speaker 2: You block it out. You block it out.

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Speaker 1: So the thing is, when you were there the first

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Speaker 1: six months, you're crying every day.

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Speaker 2: Do the women recognize you?

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Speaker 4: It was a frenzy when I went into the prison,

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Speaker 4: like literally to the point where I had to sign

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Speaker 4: something that said that the BOFP would keep me safe

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Speaker 4: because I was a public figure and they had to

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Speaker 4: make sure that the things certain things didn't happen. I

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Speaker 4: would go and take pictures with people on the weekends

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Speaker 4: when we did picture stuff, like I really like, I

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Speaker 4: really had, honestly to be in prison and to walk

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Speaker 4: through all these different lives of people because I've met

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Speaker 4: so many people. I met older people, younger people. They

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Speaker 4: have people that are eighteen that are in prison with

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Speaker 4: girls that's got twenty years or women that I met

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Speaker 4: like miss Bell, which is somebody that I became really

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Speaker 4: close to and she has a life sentence and you know,

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Speaker 4: I really and she's been on the she's been on

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Speaker 4: the list to get to get partned, and I met ms.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if you know who miss West is,

390
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Speaker 4: but Kim Kardashian was working with Miss Michelle West and

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Speaker 4: she got her partnered. Yes, in February. She was really

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Speaker 4: one of my close mentors while I was in prison,

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Speaker 4: I said, and had conversations with her. She gave she

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Speaker 4: had me read this Langston Houston, this Langston Hughes book

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Speaker 4: that I loved. We would still to have meetings. She

396
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Speaker 4: was sent and talk to me her daughter, who is

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Speaker 4: a stylist that's out in LA. Like, I met really

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Speaker 4: interesting and good people that really helped me throughout the way.

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Speaker 4: And I was so blessed to watch her go home

400
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Speaker 4: because she had two life sentences plus fifty years. You know,

401
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Speaker 4: nobody can do that, but God, there's no other way

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Speaker 4: around it.

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Speaker 2: Were you before prison? Were you always spiritual?

404
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Speaker 4: I was? I was. I was fake spiritual. I think

405
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Speaker 4: like I was, like cause I really when I was younger,

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Speaker 4: I thought I was called to be a preacher and

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Speaker 4: like I did, like I would go to Sunday school

408
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Speaker 4: and I would do this, and I would do that.

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Speaker 4: But I never I never had the relationship that I

410
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Speaker 4: have with God now, and I wouldn't have because when

411
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Speaker 4: you're when you're sitting in that space, or you're in prison,

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Speaker 4: or you're in that there's nobody else you can call

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Speaker 4: on but Him. And sometimes God puts you in a

414
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Speaker 4: space where you only can call on Him and only

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Speaker 4: be responsible for him. And I don't think that's something

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Speaker 4: that I really really understood until that moment came. And

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Speaker 4: I tell people all the time God's grace and his mercy.

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Speaker 4: I don't think I ever could have got through it.

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Speaker 4: I don't ever, I don't think I could have. I

420
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Speaker 4: think there's no way around it.

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Speaker 1: This is reality with the King, and I'm Carlos King.

422
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Speaker 1: Let's get back into the shell.

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Speaker 2: Listen.

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Speaker 1: I tell people this all the time, and I tell

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Speaker 1: myself this, right, if we have any tissue we can

426
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Speaker 1: give to want to make sure because the faces beat, Yeah, listen,

427
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Speaker 1: God doesn't make mistakes. And one thing I know for

428
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Speaker 1: sure is God always wants you.

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Speaker 2: To turn to Him.

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Speaker 1: And when we have free will, right, that's the blessing

431
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Speaker 1: of being on this earth.

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Speaker 2: We have free will to do what we want to do.

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Speaker 1: We're not supposed to do everything we want to do right,

434
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Speaker 1: and sometimes we make decisions that isn't right, and we

435
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Speaker 1: sometimes ask God, well, why did you make this happen,

436
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Speaker 1: versus being like, no, I made this happen, and what

437
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:45,959
Speaker 1: I need to do is repent of my sins and

438
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:51,640
Speaker 1: really follow God's word to help me out of this situation,

439
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,200
Speaker 1: because all He wants you to do is rely on him.

440
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,360
Speaker 1: And everything you're saying is true in terms of sometimes

441
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,919
Speaker 1: God will put you in a situation where you can

442
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,680
Speaker 1: only rely on Him and you only know it's Him.

443
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,959
Speaker 2: And I know that from my life. I know that

444
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:05,400
Speaker 2: for lo as.

445
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:09,720
Speaker 1: Many people who are in this industry, you are, even

446
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 1: in this conversation, changing lives with tons of women because

447
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:14,680
Speaker 1: the thing that you did.

448
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 2: And I will never forget this.

449
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,439
Speaker 1: When you and I had our conversation before you went

450
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 1: to prison, you were talking about the things you were

451
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,119
Speaker 1: doing and you were like, everybody does it, and I

452
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,160
Speaker 1: was like, I never heard of it?

453
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:27,919
Speaker 2: What was it?

454
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 4: That was CPN?

455
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, the CPN.

456
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:33,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know a CPA girl, I said, what's

457
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 1: a CPN? And then people were in my DMS like

458
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 1: you never heard of it? And I'm like, I wasn't

459
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,439
Speaker 1: being shady to my girl, like I as a forty

460
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: something girl.

461
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,720
Speaker 2: Guy never heard of that at the time.

462
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 1: And I love the fact that you're even saying like

463
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 1: even saying that, like, well, everybody does it, Well, everybody

464
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:53,360
Speaker 1: robs the bank.

465
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean you should do it at all.

466
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 1: And I love the fact that you were you were

467
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:02,639
Speaker 1: able to allow yourself out to really seek God in

468
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 1: those darkest moments because he is the only person that

469
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 1: can help you out of the situation. Because let's be clear,

470
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:19,239
Speaker 1: you were sentenced to four years and only served nineteen months.

471
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 4: So I think, so this is the thing just about that.

472
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 4: So people don't really understand the federal system, and you

473
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 4: don't really understand it until you have to be in

474
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,199
Speaker 4: the system where you have a loved one that's in

475
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 4: the system to understand it. So people are like, oh,

476
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,200
Speaker 4: you gotta do eighty five percent, Well not really anymore.

477
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 4: So really you're doing happier time now because of the

478
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:38,680
Speaker 4: different programs that have been the First Step Act, the

479
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 4: Second Chance Act. You have all these different programs that

480
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 4: stack on top of your sentence to be able to

481
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 4: make you leave prison a lot quicker. So one thing

482
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 4: that I was able to do while I was in

483
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 4: prison and I did a program car called art app

484
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 4: ourd APP is a residential drug residential drug program where

485
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,119
Speaker 4: you go in if you have an alcohol problem, you

486
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 4: smoke weed or people I was in there were people

487
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,680
Speaker 4: that have really hard drugs that were a heroine I

488
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 4: was on, was on heroin or you know, fitting all

489
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 4: or things of that nature. And you go through this

490
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 4: nine month process of learning and digging deep into yourself

491
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 4: to understand who you are from doing all these different

492
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 4: kind of assignments, for being able to have to get

493
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 4: up every day and do the exact same thing, having

494
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,120
Speaker 4: to have your bed made, having to be in uniform,

495
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 4: having to do all these things until I got to

496
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 4: a point where I was a senior guide, which is

497
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 4: the person that leads the community within the that leads

498
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 4: the community within our app and our depth changed my life.

499
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,360
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie to you, and to the point

500
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,439
Speaker 4: where I even went and talked about it to the

501
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 4: stakeholders while I was still in prison, to the people

502
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 4: that was there, because it really really really helped me.

503
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 4: I don't and to be honest with you, I didn't

504
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,920
Speaker 4: have a drug problem. I mean, you know, I smoked

505
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 4: weed sometimes during alcohol I didn't have a drug need,

506
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 4: you know, but I made it. So I did because

507
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 4: when you do our dep you get a year off

508
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 4: of you get a year off your.

509
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 2: Sentence and and how long is that program?

510
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 4: Then when you get out, you have to do four

511
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,720
Speaker 4: months of T that so that I just got off

512
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 4: of T that two weeks ago. What's that T that

513
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:08,120
Speaker 4: is when you go and you do one on one

514
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 4: counseling once a week and then you do one on one,

515
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 4: I mean you do group counseling once a week. So

516
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 4: I would go on Wednesdays and Thursdays. And it just

517
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,199
Speaker 4: gives you another process of being able to process now

518
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 4: being on the other side of the gate, to make

519
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 4: sure that you're still walking in that straight line to

520
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:24,399
Speaker 4: be able. And it really wasn't about drugs. It was

521
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,719
Speaker 4: about changing your It's about your cognitive think cognitive thinking,

522
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:33,159
Speaker 4: so understanding excuse me, I had criminal thinking errors that

523
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 4: I hadn't that's what they're called. I had no clue

524
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 4: I had them. I didn't know. Entitlement. Entitlement super optimism

525
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 4: and thinking that I can get away with something like

526
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,919
Speaker 4: I have superpower, so I can get away with stuff.

527
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 4: What was another one? That was something that was good

528
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 4: cognitive indolence, like being lazy or just thinking that taking

529
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,880
Speaker 4: the shortcut around things that I wouldn't have to do it,

530
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 4: or you just learn all these things and then you

531
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 4: go and then we learn about these common thinking errors

532
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 4: and we like take them about the positive attitude and

533
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 4: you try to combat them with them. So for me,

534
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,879
Speaker 4: mine was entitledment. I'm very entitled. I thought. I was like,

535
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 4: you know, top of queen bitch, who's gonna tell me

536
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 4: what to do? Who you're talking to? Like, but like

537
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 4: in prison, there's no queen bitch like you. Well, so

538
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 4: there is some I.

539
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 1: Was gonna ask you because there again, I watched movies,

540
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 1: so I don't know this is a fact or not,

541
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 1: but in the movies and the TV shows, there seems

542
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 1: to be in female prisons this.

543
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,919
Speaker 2: You know, den mother, the queen bee, the one you

544
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 2: just don't.

545
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 4: Mess well, And they have some that and one. Most

546
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 4: of them were the older ladies that have been there

547
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,359
Speaker 4: for a very long time. And I was really cool

548
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 4: with all of them, like.

549
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,199
Speaker 2: I really, they're gonna try you.

550
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 4: No, try me, like try to fight me.

551
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,199
Speaker 2: And stuff, yeah, like like to test your my gangster.

552
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, one time I got tested.

553
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:49,640
Speaker 2: It was what happened with them.

554
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 4: I mean it was fine. We can't talk about all

555
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,399
Speaker 4: those prison stories, but it worked out fine. But I

556
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 4: really people, really, I think more so for me to

557
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 4: be in prison. It really wasn't about I started. You

558
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 4: have to have a job where I was at. So

559
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 4: I became a teacher and I started an e commerce

560
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 4: course where I taught all the women how to start

561
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 4: online courses and how to be able to get their

562
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 4: LLC's and get their EI in numbers to be able

563
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 4: to start their own businesses. So I did that within

564
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 4: the prison. That was something I did. You don't have

565
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 4: out of eight hundred and something prisoners, there's only eight

566
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 4: teachers in the whole entire prison. So if people would

567
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 4: come and meet with me, I would go over their

568
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,679
Speaker 4: business plans with them. I would help them whatever I

569
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 4: DIDs they had. They would bring me their scripts about

570
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 4: shows and movies they wanted to do. I was like, oh, listen,

571
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 4: got a dog, you should tweak this or usually I

572
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 4: don't like about it. I don't know about that. So

573
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 4: I really like took things that I knew and tried

574
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 4: to pour it into other people. And then people really

575
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 4: pour stuff into me too. I did a whole I

576
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,680
Speaker 4: interviewed seventy five women while I was in prison. I did.

577
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 4: I'm gonna going to release a book called US Versus

578
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 4: the United States of America. Well it talks about all

579
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 4: of their things that they the things versus United States

580
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 4: said this and what they what the real truth was,

581
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 4: and kind of like compare the two base on their

582
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 4: cases and just giving people a voice to be able

583
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 4: to talk about what happened to them and talk about

584
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 4: their children. And I just did. I just I tried

585
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 4: my best after I got over being a bitch for

586
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 4: six months, to give to get the best experience out

587
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,879
Speaker 4: of it, because I think when we look at it

588
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 4: on TV, for me, I was like, oh my god,

589
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 4: they're going to try to cut my face. Oh my god,

590
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,679
Speaker 4: oh my god, I'm gonna have to watch it. Men

591
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 4: prisons are like that, but women prisons are not like that.

592
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 4: It's like a big slumber party. Honestly, it's not the best, but.

593
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:36,680
Speaker 1: It's not this who as dangerous? No, maybe the men

594
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 1: present away.

595
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 4: They still are fighting, they still are cutting people's faces.

596
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:44,480
Speaker 4: That those things are still happening. Yes, yes, yes I did.

597
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,120
Speaker 4: I saw somebody get into a fight. I saw somebody

598
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 4: take a raise of blade and cut somebody in their face. Yeah,

599
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 4: I saw all of it. That happened for sure. M hm.

600
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,120
Speaker 2: And what would you do? Just mind your business?

601
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 4: Yes, that's the best thing for you to do, because

602
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 4: if you walk into to try to break up a fight,

603
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 4: they'll put you'll be in the shoe too. The shoe

604
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 4: is the special housing unit where men call it the whole.

605
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,680
Speaker 4: Like you literally go and you're in a space for

606
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 4: at least thirty days where you're by yourself and of steale.

607
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 4: So that's not worth it. You know what, I rarely

608
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:13,679
Speaker 4: could do prison I was gonna do that. I celebrate

609
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:15,439
Speaker 4: that to I'm like, uhh yeah, whatever you'll got going

610
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 4: off the over there, I can't do it.

611
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 2: And you know, there was a picture that was viral.

612
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 4: I heard a couple of them. Yeah I saw.

613
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 1: I don't know, but so okay, so explained to the

614
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,159
Speaker 1: rain drop. There's there's a picture. It's Bredish for her

615
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 1: natural hair.

616
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:28,959
Speaker 4: Uh huh.

617
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 2: First of all, the body was bodying.

618
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 4: Was I sitting like this?

619
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 2: It was?

620
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 1: It was like a bodies abundant situation and maybe a bag.

621
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 2: But the body, you'll have to like these You don't

622
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 2: like these sweat suits.

623
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 4: We only can wear sweats. Don't have nothing enough.

624
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 3: But but the carves and carving, yeah, we get them,

625
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 3: We get them altered, We get the sweat since alters

626
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 3: in prison, girl, I have never met so many talented

627
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 3: people in my life. They do alterations, they make books,

628
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 3: they do they do arts and crabs. If you could

629
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 3: see the things that they put together for birthday in prison,

630
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 3: you'd be like, what the hell? Like literally cakes and

631
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 3: flowers out of paper, just like crazy stuff.

632
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 4: You'd be like, wow, Like I'm telling you, it's like

633
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 4: being in a whole other world.

634
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 1: But no, it was good because it was you and

635
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,560
Speaker 1: a bunch of baddies and my mad mean beautiful women.

636
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 4: It was they're all cute, are you?

637
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 1: Guys were so cute and we were just looking like,

638
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 1: wait a minute, y'all look at good in prison. Because again,

639
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 1: people really look at some of these shows that they

640
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: think like, Okay, there's beautiful women who unfortunately are in

641
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 1: prison or whatever. But we feel like, okay, you know again,

642
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 1: I'm assuming like it's corn rows. You know, y'all take

643
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 1: your wig off and when you get there and well

644
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 1: you can't, well they.

645
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 4: Would sneak weaving sometimes, but like I would wear my

646
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 4: hair braided, like I get my hair braided or wearing

647
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 4: a bun. Sometimes I'll get my hair braided every week,

648
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 4: like somebody canna break my hair, and I'll give my

649
00:29:58,720 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 4: heart braided.

650
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 2: So and who does hair?

651
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 4: You got somebody that does hair. You got somebody that

652
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 4: does nails. You have somebody to do wash clothes. You

653
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 4: got somebody to cook. You got somebody do everything. It's

654
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 4: the same kind of thing. It's just like it's own

655
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 4: little world.

656
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 2: How was the food?

657
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 4: Our food wasn't bad? They said, we have our prison

658
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 4: that I was that had some of the best food.

659
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 4: But honestly, to be honest with you, guys, I would

660
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 4: like I learned how to really like prison cook and

661
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 4: cook in prison.

662
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 2: What's prison cook?

663
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 4: Like? I learned how to make like rice bowls, and

664
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 4: like I learned how to make like anchiladas, and I

665
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 4: would make tacos, and like you make convasary. No, you

666
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 4: have to boil it in hot water. You have to

667
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 4: drop it in hot water. You have to put me

668
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 4: with cooking bags. Like it's a real thing. Like I

669
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 4: went from having a chef to cook it in a bag.

670
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 4: I thought about it on Sunday because my birthday we

671
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 4: had the chef came a couple of days and cooked

672
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 4: for us and stuff. Shout out to my chef. He's

673
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 4: really cool and he came and cooked for us, and

674
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 4: I was like, I sat there and I started crying.

675
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 4: And my best friend looked at me, like, what's wrong

676
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 4: with true? I said, because I was just cooking out

677
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 4: of a plastic bag four months ago. And my other

678
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 4: friend came in, walked up stairs. It was just like,

679
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 4: what is wrong with you? She was like, I'm just

680
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 4: so happy you're home. She was like, I'm just so

681
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 4: happy we could do this, because it's really weird to

682
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 4: just I learned how to do things because I didn't

683
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 4: have a choice. But it's not it was a It

684
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 4: was it was a big, a big not a shocker

685
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 4: would be a good word. But I think a very

686
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 4: very good reality chick.

687
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 2: Oh for sure, No, no, no, And I'm glad.

688
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 1: But it goes back to what you said earlier about

689
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 1: having gratefulness because you appreciate what we can, what we

690
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: take for granted.

691
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 4: A refrigerator, a mic away, the simple things that we

692
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 4: think nothing about. So grateful for this, the smallest things.

693
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 1: When you talk about your entitlement, were you entitled like

694
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 1: as a little girl teenager, or did being famous and

695
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: being a reality start and making entitled.

696
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 4: I've been in titleed my entire life to the point

697
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 4: where I see it in my daughter now. So it's

698
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 4: like I'm read, I'm retaking. I'm trying to readjust her

699
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 4: at seven so that she doesn't feel like she's so spoiled.

700
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:10,240
Speaker 4: And I think that a lot of us, as women

701
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 4: I've watched it, we categorize it as being spoiled. But

702
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 4: entitlement is a real thing when you feel like you're

703
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 4: entitled to have something, Are you entitled to something, or

704
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 4: you feel like you're better than someone so you deserve

705
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 4: this more than the other person does. And a lot

706
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 4: of us, for me, I used to do it in

707
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 4: simple things like well girl, you know, I am like

708
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 4: what's up? Like I pay extra? Or like forget her

709
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 4: who cares? Like I don't think like that anymore. I'm like,

710
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 4: uh uh, like you know if this person was here first,

711
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 4: like even I have. So this is what I've been

712
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 4: telling people. I have so much patience now, but my

713
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 4: tolerance is a minimum. I have so much patience, though

714
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 4: I don't have a problem. If the old lady is

715
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 4: walking down the street, it's taking her ten minutes in

716
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 4: front of me, no problem. It's just that I look

717
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 4: at times so much different. Nothing is more valuable than

718
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 4: my time now, because when someone takes that away from you,

719
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 4: that is the one thing I cannot get back, and

720
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 4: that's the one thing I want to allow anyone to

721
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 4: waste of my time. So my tolerance for bull is

722
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 4: I absolutely no, in whatever case it may be. I'm

723
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 4: not arguing with nobody. I'm not fighting with nobody. I'm

724
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 4: not letting I'm not allowing someone to use me in

725
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 4: any kind of way that is malicious or negative. I'm

726
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 4: not dealing with negative energy. I'm just at a space

727
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 4: where I just need to be able to walk on

728
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 4: the path that I need to do to be able

729
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 4: to do the best thing for me and my child.

730
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 4: So anything that takes me from that, I'm out.

731
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 2: Who was watching your daughter for those nineteen months?

732
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 4: Her dad had her, my best friend had her, my mom.

733
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 4: Her dad did a really really good job. I'm not

734
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 4: gonna lie. She's very overly spoiled now, but it's fine.

735
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 4: But he did a really really good job, and she

736
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 4: came to visit me a couple of times. She came

737
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 4: to four months. Yes, it was so hard, and she

738
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 4: spoke life and to me. The first time she came,

739
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 4: she was about to leave and I started crying when

740
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 4: she was walking away, and she walking back over and

741
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 4: she's like, Mommy, you'll be home. So you're strong, you're beautiful,

742
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 4: and she gave me a kiss on my nose and

743
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 4: she said, go take a nap. I'll see you tomorrow

744
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 4: when she came back the next day. And she's just really,

745
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 4: really strong she has. I don't think we understand how

746
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 4: much resilience our kids have, because in my mind, I

747
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 4: was like, oh my god, my daughter's gonna hate me.

748
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 4: She's gonna have abandonment issues like these are all the

749
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,760
Speaker 4: things I was thinking because my mom wasn't as active

750
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 4: in my life as I would have wanted her to

751
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 4: be when I was a kid, so I didn't want

752
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,399
Speaker 4: my daughter to feel like that was the same thing.

753
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 4: But she did counseling the whole time I was gone.

754
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:34,839
Speaker 4: She did counseling once a week thought the time I

755
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 4: was gone, So I made sure that she kind of

756
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:38,280
Speaker 4: was in a space where she could talk to someone

757
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 4: about something if she needed help with something. And I

758
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,919
Speaker 4: think that's a big thing that our community doesn't really

759
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 4: understand or take value to mental health and being able

760
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:48,839
Speaker 4: to talk to someone about the things that were going

761
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 4: through and I was. I was a victim of not

762
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 4: wanting to. It's not wrong with me. I realized that

763
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 4: until I was in prison, I hadn't even a grieved

764
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 4: my father passing away the proper way and understanding the

765
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 4: level of grief and the stages of grief and just

766
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 4: it's just been so many things that I've been enlightened

767
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 4: to now that I was able to be open to.

768
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 4: I wasn't open to anything. I just thought I knew

769
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,399
Speaker 4: it all. And I just thought that I knew better

770
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 4: than the next person knew. Or she don't know what

771
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 4: she's talking about. Or I got my money to her,

772
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:21,360
Speaker 4: so what can she tell me? And money has absolutely

773
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 4: nothing to do with being able to be objective or

774
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 4: money has nothing to do with being a good person.

775
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 4: And I'm learning that people, most people that have the

776
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 4: most money are not the best people. And I don't

777
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 4: want to be that.

778
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 1: Well, it's being titled, man, you know what I mean

779
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 1: a lot of people who have lots of means some

780
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 1: of them are ver entitled. Do you remember the day

781
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: that you were told you're getting out early?

782
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I've learned. So when I did our DApp,

783
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 4: they told me, they were like, you're gonna learn what

784
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 4: day you're going home by this day, this day, and

785
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 4: let me tell you how I kept getting tested. Ooh,

786
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 4: I kept getting tested. I kept getting tested. So I

787
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 4: was supposed to get out, and I was supposed to

788
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:04,800
Speaker 4: get out in July, like of June.

789
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,399
Speaker 2: We got into June this year of.

790
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 4: This year, and what happened was our graduation dates got

791
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 4: pushed back. So then they were like, oh, well, you

792
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 4: guys are probably leaving July. And I was like, okay,

793
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 4: so I'll graduate and then i'll graduate from our DAP

794
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 4: and I'll leave the next day, or I'll leave a

795
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 4: couple days later. Originally I was leaving like the next

796
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 4: day after graduation. Well, they came called me back and

797
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 4: I was like, no, you're not leaving ntil four weeks

798
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 4: after your graduation. I'm like another month and they're like yes.

799
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,839
Speaker 4: I'm like why you know? And then she ended up

800
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 4: calling and they gave me like an extra week to come,

801
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 4: and so I ended up leaving prison on August the twelfth,

802
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,839
Speaker 4: which was on my mother's birthday, which was interesting, and

803
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 4: we tried to surprise my daughter, but she was listening

804
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 4: to everybody's conversation so she knew I was coming home.

805
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:49,759
Speaker 4: And it was It was weird, honestly, like to walk

806
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 4: out of those gates and like freely be able to

807
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 4: walk out. I was like, WHOA, Like this was like

808
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:57,360
Speaker 4: the air smells different outside, and everyone looked different and

809
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 4: things were different. AI is this whole thing that I

810
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 4: still can't figure out. I've been trying to figure it

811
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:02,920
Speaker 4: out and I still not there yet, but I'm trying.

812
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 4: And just everything was just you don't realize how fast

813
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:10,440
Speaker 4: things change within a short period of time. And I

814
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,440
Speaker 4: love how everyone was like you weren't going that long.

815
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 4: It's gonna get went by so fast. I'll be looking

816
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 4: at them like yeah for you.

817
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 2: Because being in prison, the days fell long.

818
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:25,240
Speaker 4: Ooh, they're so long. They are long because you're counting

819
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 4: them down. I just stopped counting down days two weeks ago.

820
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 4: I'm not even being funny. I talked about therapist about

821
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 4: this because I was counting down. Today I got out

822
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:35,800
Speaker 4: of prison, I'm calming down, so I got graduated, and

823
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 4: I was counting down to there I gout of prison.

824
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 4: Then I had the ankle monitor on, so I was

825
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 4: counting down how many days until I got off the

826
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 4: ankle monitor, and then until the day I got Then

827
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 4: I heard no. That was another thing. I wasn't supposed

828
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 4: to get off until December the sixteenth, and my PARATIONI

829
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, no, you're getting off early. And

830
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 4: I got off on the fourth, So I was happy

831
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 4: about that too. But that was a whole other beast

832
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 4: in itself, because you're you're you're out in the free world,

833
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 4: but you can't do anything. You have to put in

834
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:00,040
Speaker 4: a schedule for every single thing that you do. You

835
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 4: can't go anywhere without asking about it. You can't stop

836
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 4: at the grocery store, you can't stop at Walgreens. And

837
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 4: my daughter and needs better don't have to ask to.

838
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 1: Do so because part of the conditions of your early

839
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,360
Speaker 1: release was you had to have an ankle.

840
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 2: Monitor for how long? Four months or four months? Was it?

841
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 4: House arrested, I was on what they call federal location monitoring,

842
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 4: which is a new thing that the federal system is

843
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 4: doing where you go straight home to your probation officer

844
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:26,080
Speaker 4: and your probation officer is like the liaison between the BOP,

845
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 4: which is the you know, the Bureau of Prisons and

846
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,759
Speaker 4: then you. But they have to say so because you're

847
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 4: still technically an inmate. You're just on the street. Most

848
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 4: people go to like to they usually go to like

849
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 4: a halfway house or something. But they didn't make me

850
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,359
Speaker 4: gonna say. They let me go to straight home, which

851
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 4: was nice of them, but it gives you more restrictions

852
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 4: compared to me, not a halfway house.

853
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:47,360
Speaker 1: So anytime you wanted to like walk out the door,

854
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 1: you had to.

855
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 4: Have it scheduled. I've just been having my freedom for

856
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:55,080
Speaker 4: the real in real life for literally two weeks, to

857
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,320
Speaker 4: the point where I'd be like if you have to remember,

858
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 4: like I'm putting my pants on, like if you don't

859
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 4: have anc monitor anymore, or like you can leave the

860
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:02,399
Speaker 4: house at eleven o'clock, that you can leave. I would

861
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:03,360
Speaker 4: be home by six o'clock.

862
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 1: Was it was it weird for you to shower by yourself?

863
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:08,799
Speaker 2: Like, oh my god, it was.

864
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 4: Well, the thing with the showers is it was weird

865
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 4: for me to shower with no shoes on, because the

866
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:16,440
Speaker 4: there you shower with shower shoes on. I never want

867
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 4: to put it on shower shoes again, Like athletes do

868
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 4: it a lot, you know, but like to have every

869
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 4: day you have to put on shower shoes. And like

870
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 4: I hated looking at everyone's hair. Oh the hair got

871
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,479
Speaker 4: them my nurse. I have like a phobia with hair now.

872
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 4: It's just it's horrible. And then like he's shaken because

873
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:35,360
Speaker 4: the guards would walk with their keys. It's just little things.

874
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 4: It's like reminding her prison. Oh my god.

875
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 1: So you as as of today, you've been off of

876
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,280
Speaker 1: ankle monitoring for two weeks.

877
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 4: It's been well, that was the fourth about this is

878
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 4: the third.

879
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,240
Speaker 1: Week, the third week, so for the past three weeks,

880
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 1: how has life been for you.

881
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 4: It's been refreshing, But it's been weird because I've been

882
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:00,359
Speaker 4: so used to somebody telling me what to do for

883
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 4: like the past two years. So it's like now I

884
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 4: have my own freedom do what I want to do.

885
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 4: And I'm really really careful about the things that I

886
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 4: said yes and no to, Like I just because I

887
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 4: want to be able to walk on that line that

888
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 4: keeps me where I need to be. I'm just a

889
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 4: lot more cautious now about.

890
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 1: Things now that you're out, what is your relationship like

891
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 1: now with your child's father, Lorenzo.

892
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:28,359
Speaker 4: Me and Lorenzo have a good We have a good

893
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:32,879
Speaker 4: co parents and relationships. Still, Lorenzo did a phenomenal job

894
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 4: with my daughter. I will forever be indebted and thankful

895
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 4: to him for how he treated her, how he was

896
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 4: very acceptive as a father, even with him just helping

897
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,879
Speaker 4: me with things. Since I've been home, he's always been.

898
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 4: He's just a great support system. As far as it's

899
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:48,360
Speaker 4: being together, No, he has his own thing going on,

900
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 4: all his girls friends, and you know, he's still a

901
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,319
Speaker 4: ladies man. And you know, I sit and tease him

902
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 4: or give him advice about what to do or what

903
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,359
Speaker 4: not to do. But I love him always. He is

904
00:40:57,680 --> 00:40:59,880
Speaker 4: always good. He's my family to me. I always got

905
00:40:59,920 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 4: to back. You always got my back, and you know,

906
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:04,720
Speaker 4: we just have a we have a great coparents relationship.

907
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 4: He gets on my nurse time. I cuss him out

908
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 4: every once in a while. I haven't been cussing, I'm

909
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:08,759
Speaker 4: just cussing. I was like, you know what, I'm not

910
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 4: gonna deal with this right now. You're coming back and

911
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:12,759
Speaker 4: you get yourself together. So but we have still have.

912
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 4: We have a great relationship period. You we just do.

913
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 1: When you're out and about, Like, are you trying to

914
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 1: meet new guys?

915
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 4: Okay, so I'm gonna be so I'm gonna so you

916
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 4: want me to be totally honest with you, Okay, So

917
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 4: I have the past. For the past few months, I

918
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:41,319
Speaker 4: have been dating a girl I was. We're not we

919
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 4: weren't in a we're not in a relationship, but we

920
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 4: were dating.

921
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 3: That makes any sense, dating virtually or no, just dating

922
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:49,320
Speaker 3: like you know, dating.

923
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,440
Speaker 4: But I've been so it's not that I'm not.

924
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 2: You will come to see you at the house.

925
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 4: She came before, Yeah, a couple of times. I mean

926
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 4: whatever saying did you meet her? I knew her prior

927
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 4: to me going to prison. How I met her like

928
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 4: within like the realm of some things, like people.

929
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:13,360
Speaker 1: We knew mutual people, No, damn sliding, but like in

930
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 1: person once.

931
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 4: And then DM and and then.

932
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 2: You know, Okay, is she a stud?

933
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 4: I don't know if you would you consider her that?

934
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 1: Okay lipsick, No, No, she's she's like me with a wig,

935
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 1: even though you're gorgeous.

936
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 4: But we're really good friends and we're for She's really

937
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 4: one of my really good friends. And I don't know

938
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 4: if that's the lane I'm going to go in because

939
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 4: I'm like kind of like, now, I'm like, do I

940
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 4: want to date guys? I want to Dating a girl

941
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 4: is a lot?

942
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:47,760
Speaker 2: Is she the first girl you dated?

943
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 4: No, she's the first girl, but I dated dated? Yeah

944
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:51,319
Speaker 4: for real?

945
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:53,720
Speaker 2: Really did you date any of the girls in prison?

946
00:42:53,880 --> 00:43:01,719
Speaker 4: Yeah? Of course I did, did just one or two.

947
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:06,919
Speaker 4: Don't be asking any questions that you want the truth

948
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 4: to the.

949
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 2: I always want the truth. This is reality, reality, just

950
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 2: a couple.

951
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:13,760
Speaker 4: I mean, no big deal. It was it was fine.

952
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 2: It was fine with y'all.

953
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,560
Speaker 4: It's this own little world in there.

954
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 1: Would y'all be intimate in the in the cells, we

955
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 1: didn't have sales.

956
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 4: We were like in like cube cubicles. We Ours wasn't

957
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:28,200
Speaker 4: like cells like certain prisons have sales. Ours was like

958
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 4: open bay, like like like college type like rooms.

959
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, where the door is open.

960
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:34,760
Speaker 4: There was no doors.

961
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:37,280
Speaker 2: There were no doors. Y'all can see each other's rooms.

962
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:39,879
Speaker 2: So y'all would put the sheets over your head.

963
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 4: They put they what we used to what they call them, uh,

964
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 4: they put the sheets up, but they called it what

965
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 4: did they call it? Tents? They would call them tents.

966
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:49,919
Speaker 4: They would up, that's what they call it, tints.

967
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 2: And that's when you knew somebody was getting busy.

968
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 4: Well, you don't know if that's what's happening or if

969
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 4: they just watching the movie because they don't want you

970
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,360
Speaker 4: because of the light. It just you never know. You

971
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 4: never know. You in prison, I did, yeah once or twice.

972
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 2: You know, did y'all have vibrators in prison? No?

973
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:07,359
Speaker 4: I wish would be it would have been a read commissary. No,

974
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 4: you pick that up. But they make like they make

975
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 4: like dildos what I don't know. They have like a

976
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 4: factory that's within the prison where they can make stuff

977
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 4: out of stuff. I wasn't drawing out when I wasn't

978
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 4: doing that one, but the people did.

979
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 2: So the booze you had in prison, are they still there?

980
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 4: No, they're gonna They're gone.

981
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,400
Speaker 2: Keep in touch. No, okay.

982
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 1: It's sort of like when you go out of town,

983
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 1: out of town, you know you for this time. Okay,

984
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 1: so you were dating as a girl post prison release,

985
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 1: but now you.

986
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 4: Know we're friends and we're still like it's dating a

987
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 4: woman is toxic. Okay, But I'm at a point now

988
00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:54,919
Speaker 4: where why is it toxic. It just is just a lot,

989
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 4: and I ask emotions. Yeah, it's just a lot. And

990
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 4: so but now I'm open to dating, and like, if

991
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna be a relationship with her, then I'm

992
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 4: gonna date multiple people because that's what you're supposed to do,

993
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 4: and so you find who you want to be with

994
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 4: right when you're dating people. When you're dating, you should

995
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 4: be dating multiple people to figure out which one you

996
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:12,800
Speaker 4: actually want to be with. Yeah, so now I'm dating.

997
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 4: So I haven't come to the conclusion of how I'm

998
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 4: going to do this, but I'm open to dating.

999
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:22,720
Speaker 2: You know, are you open to dating more women?

1000
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 4: I'm open to dating in general. It doesn't mean I

1001
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 4: have come to terms that I've always been bisexual. But

1002
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 4: I was scared to say that out loud, even though

1003
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 4: I have been playing and dabbling all the time. But

1004
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:34,840
Speaker 4: I never said that out loud. But it's not like

1005
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 4: I woke up today and I'm like, oh, I hate men,

1006
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 4: so I'm gonna date women. I've always you know, talk

1007
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 4: to women from time.

1008
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 2: Zone Porsche came out.

1009
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:46,839
Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, I saw that. I saw that would

1010
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:51,319
Speaker 4: uh when I date Porsche. She's my cousin. Her Na's

1011
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 4: Porsche Williams right, I don't know. I should always say

1012
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,920
Speaker 4: Porsha Porsia is really Porsche's fine, though, So I don't

1013
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:03,879
Speaker 4: know if I would not not date her, I don't

1014
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:05,800
Speaker 4: mean probably.

1015
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:10,319
Speaker 2: It's the girl that you are still friends when you're

1016
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 2: talking to. Is she in the industry.

1017
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 4: She's not in the industry?

1018
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 2: Okay, So it's not Tie Young.

1019
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:15,399
Speaker 4: No, it's not.

1020
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 2: Old time.

1021
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 4: I'd be like, this is so messy. No, it's not time.

1022
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 2: No, it's not time.

1023
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 4: It's not Tie. It's not Tie. You have my older girls,

1024
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 4: though I have all the girls. I don't know what's

1025
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:28,720
Speaker 4: I doing.

1026
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,320
Speaker 1: My brother junk because I love Tie and I'm always

1027
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:32,920
Speaker 1: and I want to interview Tie and Tie.

1028
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,360
Speaker 2: I reached talked to her team when.

1029
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 1: Basketball Vise was on to do an interview, and she

1030
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 1: said she would do it, but things happened, And my

1031
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 1: joke was, Tie is so fine that I would wear

1032
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 1: Chasity Bell.

1033
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 2: Like Tie. I have never been with a woman.

1034
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 4: But you would try my hall past gorgeouses.

1035
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 1: Somebody's the body's Megan So but you know Ties number two.

1036
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 4: Let me find out.

1037
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 2: Let me find out.

1038
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 1: I like a couple of dudes like Tie. But I

1039
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 1: on the conversation Paul the other day. Okay, we'll talk

1040
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 1: about that later. But back to you.

1041
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,839
Speaker 2: So, is there any I mean, you're out right now,

1042
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 2: you're free. Are there any men's that pick your interest?

1043
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:33,760
Speaker 2: I mean mm hmm, famous, yeah, oh, Blue Checks, more.

1044
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 1: Than one, oh sports one, Rappers one?

1045
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:43,399
Speaker 2: Is it future or.

1046
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 4: No? No, why would you put that one out there?

1047
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll projected projects?

1048
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 1: No?

1049
00:47:57,560 --> 00:47:59,240
Speaker 4: Uh uh I no.

1050
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:06,800
Speaker 2: Okay, so Rapper. I mean I'm just saying maybe maybe

1051
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,439
Speaker 2: it could be reality star.

1052
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:09,359
Speaker 1: No.

1053
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 4: I mean, I just I'm open to dating.

1054
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 2: Period.

1055
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 4: Like, I'm open to a point where I'm like, if

1056
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 4: it makes sense for me on the alignment that I will,

1057
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 4: then I'm going to be like, Okay, maybe I'm going

1058
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:20,880
Speaker 4: to date with him. You know, because I was at

1059
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 4: a point where at first, when the bark went person like,

1060
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:23,719
Speaker 4: I'm not going to dab with nobody. I don't want

1061
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:25,359
Speaker 4: to think they're entitled to talk to me. I want

1062
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 4: toboy think they gotta deal with me. I just didn't

1063
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 4: want that to be a thing. And then, you know,

1064
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:34,960
Speaker 4: I mean, but I'm kind of I'm open to dating. Well,

1065
00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 4: we'll see where it goes.

1066
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 1: Listen, I think you should date around and see what

1067
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,040
Speaker 1: I see what you like because.

1068
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 4: It's time for me to get married. I'm getting old.

1069
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 4: I'm old.

1070
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:46,160
Speaker 2: You're not old.

1071
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 4: I just turned thirty six.

1072
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:47,840
Speaker 1: Girl.

1073
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 2: You are first of all. Age ain't nothing but the

1074
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,840
Speaker 2: numbers you your spirit gifts. Twenties.

1075
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 4: But I need to But it's time for me to

1076
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,319
Speaker 4: get married and have a child, even if it's with

1077
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 4: a girl or a guy. Whatever. Way, one more baby, okay?

1078
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 4: And so that's mama, I do I want a boy?

1079
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 2: You want to use lorenzo sperm?

1080
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 4: And just no. I think that I can move forward

1081
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:13,319
Speaker 4: and have a child with someone that makes sense for

1082
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:15,840
Speaker 4: me to want to be with. Even though Lorenzo is

1083
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 4: a great father, you know for sure. Jeans gray jeans, Yeah,

1084
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:21,480
Speaker 4: because my daughter's gorgeous and he has his other kids

1085
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:25,920
Speaker 4: are gorgeous too. But no, okay, I'm cool, Okay, okay,

1086
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:26,959
Speaker 4: all right, So.

1087
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:30,800
Speaker 1: Look, so what now that you're out, what is next

1088
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:34,839
Speaker 1: for British Williams? Like, what is it that you want

1089
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:38,399
Speaker 1: to conquer and do? Base on your experience.

1090
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 4: So we're working on my talk show right now, Conned

1091
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:45,280
Speaker 4: being British, and it's going to be a show where

1092
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:47,759
Speaker 4: my hope is to be like you know, Oprah in

1093
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:49,880
Speaker 4: a way that I can do it because you know,

1094
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:53,720
Speaker 4: we have the Jennifer Hudson and we have Sherry Shepherd,

1095
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:57,240
Speaker 4: and we have a Hall, but all of those women

1096
00:49:57,280 --> 00:50:01,720
Speaker 4: are they're categorizing more so women in an older age bracket.

1097
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:03,399
Speaker 4: So it's like I want to open up that age

1098
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:05,720
Speaker 4: record for between the women of twenty five to forty

1099
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 4: five or twenty five to fifty to have those same

1100
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 4: things that bring those guests on that we would want

1101
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 4: to talk to and have. And then I have the

1102
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 4: Saxe Space, which is my podcast, and I'm going to

1103
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 4: do also too. I've been getting questions about it if

1104
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:21,400
Speaker 4: I'm going to go back to reality television, and of

1105
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 4: course I'm going to. I just don't know what platform.

1106
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 4: If I want to go back to Basketball wives, if

1107
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:27,680
Speaker 4: I want to do something else. I want to do

1108
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:29,319
Speaker 4: something though, because I feel like I need to give

1109
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 4: that side up to my fans, of give them that

1110
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 4: raw feedback of what happened within me to see those

1111
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 4: things and to be able to see me being British

1112
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 4: as a mother, being British as an artist, being British

1113
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:41,680
Speaker 4: as a talk show Holls, being British as whatever it

1114
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:44,799
Speaker 4: is being able to see that side of me for sure?

1115
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 2: Were you able to see Basketball Wives?

1116
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:49,000
Speaker 4: I watched it while I was in prison, and when

1117
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 4: we tell you what was the craziest thing. I had

1118
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:53,279
Speaker 4: never had to see myself in prison until one night.

1119
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:55,239
Speaker 4: It was like on at like twelve o'clock at night,

1120
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:57,799
Speaker 4: and like one of my friends was like, British. They

1121
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:00,160
Speaker 4: were like, you're on TV. I was like what. They

1122
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 4: were like, yeah, that's what. We watched the reunion and

1123
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh my god. I didn't even get up

1124
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:04,760
Speaker 4: to going there. I was like, I'm not doing it,

1125
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 4: Like that was just too weird, you know. And they're like,

1126
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:08,680
Speaker 4: oh my god, you look see She's like you you

1127
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 4: was bigger out here. You were something. She's like, oh

1128
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:12,840
Speaker 4: you was talking shit like it's funny. So but we

1129
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 4: would watch it on Mondays like I would host it,

1130
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 4: which is funny, Like that was my thing. I that's right.

1131
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 4: We would watch it that. I watched the girls have

1132
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 4: with Tie and Me and all them on there. I

1133
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:24,360
Speaker 4: was like, okay, girls, like they was. You know, Jackie,

1134
00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 4: I've had Jackie block for at least three years now,

1135
00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:27,359
Speaker 4: why are you block?

1136
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 2: Jacket? Christie.

1137
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:35,799
Speaker 5: Now she's lied on me, which lie was exactly I

1138
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:39,200
Speaker 5: point to you exactly, she lied on me, tried to record,

1139
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 5: tried to record.

1140
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:45,640
Speaker 4: Me, just like she just is. Just grow up, grow

1141
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,880
Speaker 4: up Jackie, Christie for real, how.

1142
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 1: Did you feel about what was going on between her

1143
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:51,280
Speaker 1: and her daughter's chantelle?

1144
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 4: Not surprised, unfaced, that makes sense. She just that's a

1145
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 4: firm person that needs to take countability for their actions

1146
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:02,239
Speaker 4: because everybody else is fought for hers. This is just

1147
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:03,160
Speaker 4: how she's always been.

1148
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 1: I would like British wombs to go back on basketball wives.

1149
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 2: If you're listening. Okay, thank you so much.

1150
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:14,080
Speaker 1: But look, I will say this all drugs aside. I

1151
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 1: am so proud of your growth. I mean this when

1152
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:20,399
Speaker 1: I say this. I was probably one of the last

1153
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:25,200
Speaker 1: people you interviewed with before you went to prison, and

1154
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:29,880
Speaker 1: to talk to you post release, two different women is

1155
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:31,600
Speaker 1: two different women.

1156
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:36,560
Speaker 2: And I appreciate the fact that you allow.

1157
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:41,600
Speaker 1: Yourself to go through the motions to gain accountability when

1158
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:46,800
Speaker 1: you were ready to do it, to upgrade your spirituality

1159
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,359
Speaker 1: to where it isn't just like you said, the sort

1160
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:51,759
Speaker 1: of like dip your toe in and out, because there's

1161
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 1: so many people who be like God this and God that,

1162
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:56,279
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, how do you believe in God?

1163
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,480
Speaker 1: But I know for a fact you messy in a

1164
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 1: sense of like you don't practice what you preach.

1165
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:02,840
Speaker 2: You don't let them fight your battles. You want to

1166
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 2: fight everything else.

1167
00:53:03,640 --> 00:53:07,680
Speaker 1: You do things behind the scene that doesn't that doesn't

1168
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:09,480
Speaker 1: make sense to what you're preaching to the public on

1169
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 1: social media. So I love the fact that you're so

1170
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 1: honest about it. What advice do you have for black girls,

1171
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 1: whether it's teenage girls, grown women who were doing some

1172
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:28,399
Speaker 1: of the things, who are doing some of the things

1173
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 1: that you were doing, and.

1174
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:34,680
Speaker 2: They just think this is the part of life.

1175
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:37,680
Speaker 4: Well, one thing that I have created since I've been

1176
00:53:37,719 --> 00:53:40,040
Speaker 4: out of prison is called my foundation, is called the

1177
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 4: Brilliance Foundation, And the Brilliance Foundation is what's set to

1178
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 4: be able to not only do prison reform things where

1179
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:47,359
Speaker 4: we go in and we help the things that I've

1180
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:50,399
Speaker 4: saw within the prisons that need to be fixed, because

1181
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:52,279
Speaker 4: one thing that I saw was the health care for

1182
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:55,200
Speaker 4: women in prison. Health Care for women in prison is

1183
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:56,880
Speaker 4: a very very difficult thing because you have women in

1184
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:58,760
Speaker 4: that are pregnant, you have women in that to have cancer,

1185
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:00,719
Speaker 4: you have women in there that are sick or have

1186
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:02,640
Speaker 4: things going on with them, and the process for being

1187
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 4: able to get in with a doctor or a specialist

1188
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 4: is like crazy, doesn't even make any sense. And that

1189
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 4: was something that I noticed, even with feminine care in prison,

1190
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 4: I noticed that, so I started up. I started the

1191
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:17,880
Speaker 4: Safe Space feminine Care, which is something where we have

1192
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,480
Speaker 4: bore asset, we have we have more gasses oppositories, we

1193
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 4: have phone washing. My hope is to get some kind

1194
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:26,839
Speaker 4: of bill passed that they require certain vitamins, certain things

1195
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:29,319
Speaker 4: on commisary for women in being state or federal prison

1196
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 4: where it allows them to be able to have those

1197
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:33,759
Speaker 4: knees met when it's something to come to their vaginal care.

1198
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:37,279
Speaker 4: So I want people to remember that when they go

1199
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 4: to prison that you don't really have any control over

1200
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:42,160
Speaker 4: the things that are going on with your body. Period.

1201
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:44,680
Speaker 4: Like you literally are an entity that belongs to the government.

1202
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 4: You don't go by your name. You go by a number.

1203
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,960
Speaker 4: What's my six, say five one nine, five on nine, Yeah,

1204
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,440
Speaker 4: that's my number. That's my number. It's like forever embedded

1205
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:51,919
Speaker 4: in my head.

1206
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 2: They call you by your number, you're.

1207
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:55,919
Speaker 4: Called my last name. We me tell you a story.

1208
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,279
Speaker 4: That was funny. When my daughter kind of visit me,

1209
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:01,319
Speaker 4: they called me Williams. They're like William Williams. My daughter

1210
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:04,080
Speaker 4: looked at that man, she said, her name is British,

1211
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:07,239
Speaker 4: her name is not Williams. And she didn't understand it

1212
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:08,839
Speaker 4: because she's like why, she said, why does he keep

1213
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:10,480
Speaker 4: calling you Williams. That's not your name. I was like,

1214
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:12,719
Speaker 4: but they go by last names. There were military time there,

1215
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:14,680
Speaker 4: so you go buy your last names instead of your

1216
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:16,719
Speaker 4: first names, and then you have so many Williams, like

1217
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:18,640
Speaker 4: Williams five or nine and Williams six a five or

1218
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:24,319
Speaker 4: whatever it is. So my recommendation to women that have

1219
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 4: or has been through the same thing that I've been through,

1220
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:28,960
Speaker 4: or doing the same things that I was doing, it's

1221
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:35,520
Speaker 4: the stop because nothing, no amount of money, no amount

1222
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:41,240
Speaker 4: of success, no amount of love, no amount of any

1223
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 4: of those things are worth the time that you have

1224
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 4: to give back to the to eat, into the government,

1225
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:49,319
Speaker 4: to the state, whatever it may be. Because when you're

1226
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 4: sitting in it's sitting in the cellar, you're sitting in

1227
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 4: that room and you can't leave, and it's Christmas. I

1228
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:57,439
Speaker 4: cried so hard on Christmas last year because I wasn't

1229
00:55:57,440 --> 00:56:00,759
Speaker 4: there with my daughter. I something I don't know if

1230
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:02,520
Speaker 4: I'm ever gonna and it's hard for me to say.

1231
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:04,359
Speaker 4: I you just say, I never regret anything, but I

1232
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:07,480
Speaker 4: regret the things that I did because those weren't mistakes.

1233
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 4: Mistakes are something that you do once or twice, and

1234
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:14,240
Speaker 4: then it once, then twice, after two or three times,

1235
00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:16,279
Speaker 4: it becomes a pattern. It becomes a part of who

1236
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:19,680
Speaker 4: you are that it comes up something that you're doing purposefully.

1237
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 4: So to stop that cycle, you have to just tell

1238
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,799
Speaker 4: yourself that the things that you're doing are wrong. Not

1239
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,080
Speaker 4: because I think as a as an individual. I used

1240
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:30,440
Speaker 4: to go to be like, oh, I'm doing to survive.

1241
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:31,680
Speaker 4: I gotta do it for this, or I gotta do it

1242
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:33,360
Speaker 4: for that, I gotta do it for this. But in reality,

1243
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:35,719
Speaker 4: I did all of that and my daughter didn't have

1244
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:39,280
Speaker 4: me for nineteen months. I couldn't go to her school functions.

1245
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:40,920
Speaker 4: I couldn't be there for Mother's Day, I couldn't be

1246
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 4: there for her birthday parties. You know, I was parenting

1247
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:46,800
Speaker 4: over a phone on a video visit once a week,

1248
00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:49,239
Speaker 4: and it just wasn't None of it was worth it.

1249
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:52,359
Speaker 4: Not a bag, not a shoe, not a car. None

1250
00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:56,120
Speaker 4: of it was worth it. And I just recommend that

1251
00:56:56,440 --> 00:56:58,880
Speaker 4: you know, you look at what's really important to you,

1252
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:01,160
Speaker 4: because at the end of the day, what I also

1253
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:02,799
Speaker 4: realized would be in prison. Of people that I thought

1254
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:05,200
Speaker 4: was my friend or people that thought that would be

1255
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:08,319
Speaker 4: there for me were not there for me. But most

1256
00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:13,080
Speaker 4: of them were Brooke, Bailey, Brandy, all of them sent

1257
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:16,640
Speaker 4: money all the time, email me all the time. My

1258
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:19,360
Speaker 4: best friend Raquel always is my ride to dive, you know,

1259
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:22,320
Speaker 4: my friend Tisha bringing my daughter to see me, even

1260
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 4: Lorenzo bringing my daughter to see me. My manager at

1261
00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:27,520
Speaker 4: Lesion was there. All the people that most of the

1262
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:28,920
Speaker 4: people that I thought would be there were there. It

1263
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:30,920
Speaker 4: was a couple of people that were like, oh really,

1264
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 4: like that's what you own, you know, And now they

1265
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 4: just don't get to go on the journey with me,

1266
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 4: which I'm not upset about it. I'm not mad about it.

1267
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 4: And I you know, if I see them that I speak,

1268
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:39,880
Speaker 4: how you doing, But like, you just can't be in

1269
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 4: that circle of that space with me now because who

1270
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:44,880
Speaker 4: I am now you deserve that last version of me.

1271
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 4: You don't deserve this version of me. So I just

1272
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:49,240
Speaker 4: I suggest that women learn that people that are going

1273
00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 4: through what I've going through or doing the things that

1274
00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:53,840
Speaker 4: I did, learn to just understand that the things that

1275
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:56,439
Speaker 4: they're doing nothing is more important than your time. It's

1276
00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:59,360
Speaker 4: just not. And you know, some people might not get caught,

1277
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 4: and some people get caught, but either way you're gonna

1278
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:05,479
Speaker 4: when you really work hard for the money that you need,

1279
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:08,640
Speaker 4: you value it differently. The way you spend it is differently.

1280
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 4: The way that you cherish it is differently. And you know,

1281
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:13,880
Speaker 4: for me, I was doing legal stuff and doing legal

1282
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 4: stuff and doing legal stuff for what like it's we

1283
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:20,520
Speaker 4: think that I think. I used to think, oh, if

1284
00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 4: I go give out, if I go give out turkeys

1285
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 4: for Thanksgiving, I'm doing good a good deed. Or if

1286
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 4: I go buy clothes for the shelter for the girls,

1287
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:29,400
Speaker 4: I'm doing a good deed. But in reality, like I

1288
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:31,919
Speaker 4: shouldn't be doing that anyway, Like it's not I'm doing

1289
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:34,320
Speaker 4: it for show or doing it because I'm trying to

1290
00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 4: like off base what I did wrong to feel like

1291
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:39,480
Speaker 4: I'm doing something right. Just do it right the first time.

1292
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:41,640
Speaker 4: It's just so much easier now. Listen.

1293
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:47,280
Speaker 1: That's the best advice, because you know, listen in our community. Again,

1294
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:51,240
Speaker 1: I go back to our first interview, and you're admitting

1295
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 1: to doing things you thought everybody did. And I believe

1296
00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:59,680
Speaker 1: in education, not education meaning the universities in school, which

1297
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 1: is import in two, but the education that our community

1298
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 1: needs in terms of like just because your grandmama put

1299
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:18,840
Speaker 1: your cousin turned like, that's not legal, but when you

1300
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:23,800
Speaker 1: grow up in this environment, you think like I thought

1301
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:27,840
Speaker 1: that was legal, or your five year old, you know child,

1302
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 1: you put the cable building their name, Like there're just

1303
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 1: certain things that you know, we laugh at as a

1304
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:37,600
Speaker 1: community that we just think is normal, but it's not

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00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:40,560
Speaker 1: normal in the eyes of a government. And that's why

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00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:44,320
Speaker 1: your story to me is so powerful because you're not

1307
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:47,280
Speaker 1: alone in this, but the fact that you allowed yourself

1308
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:50,800
Speaker 1: to do the time, you grew so much in those

1309
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:55,800
Speaker 1: nineteen months that now this platform and everything you're going

1310
00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 1: to do because I believe in you so much, and

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00:59:57,640 --> 00:59:59,920
Speaker 1: I know for a fact that a lot of people

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01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 1: lives are being changed listening to your story, and there's

1313
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:07,439
Speaker 1: just so much more room for you to change lives.

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01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:08,200
Speaker 2: So I'm proud of you.

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01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 4: I thank you so much, Carlos, and I really hope

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01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 4: that people take the things that I've been through, and

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01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:17,640
Speaker 4: they take the mistakes that I've made or the lessons

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01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:20,240
Speaker 4: that I've learned, they turn they they turned that into

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01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:22,200
Speaker 4: something where they don't have to do it. I remember

1320
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:25,480
Speaker 4: when I was younger, one of my friends used to

1321
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:28,520
Speaker 4: always tell me that you know what you you smart?

1322
01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 4: You smart. Smart people learn from smart people learn from

1323
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 4: their own mistakes. Wise people learn from other people's mistakes.

1324
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:36,440
Speaker 4: So I hope that the people that are watching can

1325
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:39,240
Speaker 4: be more wise than they are smart, Like, for sure,

1326
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:41,160
Speaker 4: because I was a smart as it's not a wise person.

1327
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:43,760
Speaker 4: Now I'm stepping into that. But oh maybe I should

1328
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:45,800
Speaker 4: do that. If you say it's hot, I believe I'm.

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01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:47,280
Speaker 2: Not gonna putch it, you know, go have at it.

1330
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:50,000
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, So I think that's that's the most important thing,

1331
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:52,760
Speaker 4: is really being able to understand that and being able

1332
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:55,480
Speaker 4: to know that sometimes life is going to give us

1333
01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:57,040
Speaker 4: things and we're going to get there, going to test

1334
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:58,280
Speaker 4: us to see if we're going to if we're still

1335
01:00:58,280 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 4: in that space to do something wrong or we're still

1336
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,520
Speaker 4: face to do something illegal. We're sill in that space

1337
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 4: where we know that something's wrong, but we do it anyway,

1338
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:06,520
Speaker 4: And that's just not the best thing to do.

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01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:14,080
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you, British William y'all follows So Proud

1340
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 1: of Reality with the King is executive produced by me

1341
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:28,120
Speaker 1: Carlos King, produced by Lizzie Nimitz, and a partnership with

1342
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:31,840
Speaker 1: the Lack of Effect Network. You can also find us on

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01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:36,200
Speaker 1: my YouTube channel at the Carlos King Underscore