Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: It's almost famous podcast. We're here in San Francisco. Nancy
Speaker 2: is with us. Nancy, you and I have a lot
Speaker 2: of life in common, don't we.
Speaker 3: Yes, we do. Funny, isn't it.
Speaker 4: It's funny.
Speaker 3: I told you there must be something in the water.
Speaker 2: Explain to the audience how our lives have been interconnected.
Speaker 3: Yes, when you were the Golden or the Bachelor. Sorry,
Speaker 3: Golden everything is golden right now for me? When you
Speaker 3: were the Bachelor, obviously, I grew up in Indiana and
Speaker 3: more signed Deiana. You did too, and your parents lived
Speaker 3: on the lake. My parents lived on the lake. And
Speaker 3: my mom was like, I know Ben Higgins. I've known
Speaker 3: him since he was little, and go to the same church.
Speaker 3: And did she teach you kindergarten?
Speaker 4: She did not, But we worked together.
Speaker 3: You work together. And she was, I don't know if
Speaker 3: I can say this. She said, when you started, you know,
Speaker 3: when things were you know, everybody knew you. The show
Speaker 3: was still going on. And she goes, you know, I
Speaker 3: really I slept with Ben Higgins. I go, Mom, you
Speaker 3: can't say that. She goes, no, no, no, But it
Speaker 3: was a church camp and you guys help some of
Speaker 3: the kids who had challenges, And she said, no, Ben
Speaker 3: and I literally slept together in a tent bunkmates. But
Speaker 3: she was saying it, of course, not meaning anything else,
Speaker 3: but I was like, Mom, say it a different way.
Speaker 4: Story.
Speaker 3: So so, and then you know, I came when you
Speaker 3: were the Bachelor, and I came to and I have
Speaker 3: pictures of it when you did five K or ten K,
Speaker 3: and then when you came to the Boys Club, and
Speaker 3: I know you worked at the Boys Club and you
Speaker 3: worked with my son one summer when he was struggling
Speaker 3: and my mom had him come to Grandma Carol's Lord
Speaker 3: knows what she made him do. But also he worked
Speaker 3: with you then, and so it was just kind of
Speaker 3: I'm so much older than you are, but it just
Speaker 3: feels so nice to have that in common.
Speaker 2: Well, and it was nice for me to watch the
Speaker 2: show and to root and cheer for you. You know, it's
Speaker 2: probably like Roles reverse there where I'm watching it going like,
Speaker 2: you know, I want to know more about her, I
Speaker 2: want to see her thrive. And you're right, your mom
Speaker 2: and I had a lot of like alignment, and so,
Speaker 2: you know, I some of the most impactful years of
Speaker 2: my life and why I do what I do today,
Speaker 2: was during that season where I was working with your
Speaker 2: mom because we got to work with some incredible kids
Speaker 2: at this camp, and I got to see and learn
Speaker 2: from her, right because she was older than me. I
Speaker 2: was like twenty years old at the time, right, But
Speaker 2: we were both you know, helping push kids up the
Speaker 2: hill or get you know, these kids cleaned up. And
Speaker 2: then we were we were sharing this cabin together and
Speaker 2: this like really powerful team, right that were that you know,
Speaker 2: was helping cultivate this camp. Yes, and so your mom
Speaker 2: and I have done a lot of life together, especially
Speaker 2: in my early twenties.
Speaker 4: We did grow up in the same area.
Speaker 2: I just got to ask this, did watching The Bachelor
Speaker 2: and seeing that whole thing go? Did it have any
Speaker 2: influence on you then saying I want to go on
Speaker 2: to the Golden Show?
Speaker 3: Yes, definitely, because I remember you may not remember it,
Speaker 3: but I remember when I was at the ten k
Speaker 3: or the five k thinking and my husband had died
Speaker 3: maybe three years before that, and so I was thinking
Speaker 3: they should do something for widows, is what I was
Speaker 3: thinking in my head. And I made like an off
Speaker 3: comment like wouldn't this be great?
Speaker 4: Ben?
Speaker 3: And you know you. Ben was surrounded by you know,
Speaker 3: hundreds of people at the time, but I remember thinking
Speaker 3: that and I thought, yeah, right, and that was it.
Speaker 3: And then move forward and my niece applied me and
Speaker 3: I thought, Okay, should I do this? Should I not
Speaker 3: do this? And I remember you saying why not? Not
Speaker 3: to me but to Luke. I think, yeah, one of
Speaker 3: our my nephew, like, oh, she should do it or
Speaker 3: why wouldn't she do it? And it was an influence
Speaker 3: because I'd seen you. I'd seen that, I watched the
Speaker 3: whole show. I watched you and Lauren, etc. And I thought, no,
Speaker 3: this would be really great. So I went in eyes
Speaker 3: wide open. Unlike some of my colleagues on the show
Speaker 3: cast members, I didn't read a book. I didn't know
Speaker 3: that there was even a book to read how to win.
Speaker 3: I wasn't there for that. I had been single for
Speaker 3: twelve years and I thought, you know what, maybe this
Speaker 3: is it. And doors kept opening like I thought, oh,
Speaker 3: I won't do that, and all of a sudden it
Speaker 3: just kept going and I thought, no, I'm going to
Speaker 3: do this. So it was an adventure.
Speaker 4: It is helpful.
Speaker 2: To know somebody who's gone through it before you, because
Speaker 2: I do think there's a level two where going on
Speaker 2: this show feels overwhelming. It feels like you like, how
Speaker 2: in the world can I do this? And I felt
Speaker 2: that way when I went on to the Bachelorette, and
Speaker 2: then what helped me was meeting actually some other guys
Speaker 2: that were bachelor's and going, wait, they're actually normal, like
Speaker 2: they're humans still functioning in this world.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: I feel like, if they can do it, I can
Speaker 2: do it, just because they're good people. And so once
Speaker 2: you know somebody who's gone through it does make it
Speaker 2: a little easier. And so I did say that. I
Speaker 2: remember saying that to Luke because I remember when I
Speaker 2: was told that you were considering doing this show. Does
Speaker 2: that advice of the why not or why wouldn't you?
Speaker 2: Are you glad you did it? Did it work out?
Speaker 3: Absolutely? I again went in blind but hopeful, and it
Speaker 3: surpassed what I thought would happen. Unfortunately, Gary and I
Speaker 3: really didn't have a connection, and I self eliminated, as
Speaker 3: you know, but I, as you've heard, made fabulous friends
Speaker 3: and still have hope that you know, and with now
Speaker 3: Joan on her season, you know, she's finding love hopefully,
Speaker 3: and it gives us hope for the future.
Speaker 2: I think that's a big question that people are having
Speaker 2: though with the Golden Show. You know, we see it
Speaker 2: with past contestants and past seasons where the friends come out.
Speaker 2: You guys are obviously you have this built you know
Speaker 2: in friendship now that kind of travels around, does fun
Speaker 2: stuff together.
Speaker 4: But what is the hope after the show?
Speaker 2: Because for the younger people, they come off and they
Speaker 2: become influencers or they you know, just are getting their
Speaker 2: careers started. So what is like, what are you excited for?
Speaker 2: What are your friends excited for that have came off
Speaker 2: this Golden Show?
Speaker 3: I think many I was again, I didn't have an
Speaker 3: Instagram before. I know that may sound bad, but my
Speaker 3: kids are like, what you don't. I was shocked at
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, Like right after the show, all of
Speaker 3: a sudden, everybody's like, you got to get so many followers,
Speaker 3: you got to do this. I went on a show
Speaker 3: or a vacation with a couple of the cast members,
Speaker 3: and they every day it was okay, we got to
Speaker 3: do a video smile because we got this has to
Speaker 3: get out. Okay. How many followers did we get how
Speaker 3: many how many people comment? What are they saying every morning?
Speaker 3: And I literally said, we're on vacation, and they're like,
Speaker 3: You've got to seize the moment. And I mean, this
Speaker 3: is like a soft spot for me because I still
Speaker 3: I don't know what my role is. I'm you know,
Speaker 3: I'm a great people person. I can hang out with anybody.
Speaker 3: I want to do some good in the world. And
Speaker 3: all of a sudden, I'm surrounded with a lot of
Speaker 3: people who it's like, this is the goal. Wait, I'm
Speaker 3: going to go talk to I'm going to go talk
Speaker 3: to Ben first. I'm going to go talk to who
Speaker 3: see who whoever? First? And I got his number? Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: Ben texted me the other day. I'm using that as
Speaker 3: an example. But and then I'm like, what are you?
Speaker 3: And people are still talking to the producers and I
Speaker 3: talk to some of them, but I don't call them
Speaker 3: and say what do you got for me? What do
Speaker 3: you know? Can you use me in any way? And
Speaker 3: the other thing was it made me self reflect because
Speaker 3: I'm not like many of my friends on the show.
Speaker 3: There's big personalities. They're hilarious. Kathy and Susan are my
Speaker 3: closest friends, and Joan and Christina. Christina and Joan and
Speaker 3: I are more alike, we're quieter. We but it makes
Speaker 3: you self self value eight and go, well, I'm not
Speaker 3: as funny, so nobody's gonna want to talk to me
Speaker 3: or that kind of thing. And so it's really hard
Speaker 3: right now in this arena. The funnier person gets the shows,
Speaker 3: and the funnier person gets the whatever cels peepers or whatever.
Speaker 3: So it's just different.
Speaker 2: It is, And it's unique to hear you say that
Speaker 2: because it's the same struggle that I think I went
Speaker 2: through when I got off the show. Yeah, and it
Speaker 2: is that comparison, and it is a little bit of
Speaker 2: the envy. I just publicly talked about it the other day.
Speaker 2: I was speaking at a conference and it was more
Speaker 2: of a panel and they asked me the question, what's
Speaker 2: the one thing that's been so unique that you've struggled
Speaker 2: with that's kind of surprising.
Speaker 4: I struggle with so.
Speaker 2: Much envy, and I think the envy is brought on
Speaker 2: the anxiety, and the envy is brought on the you know, comparison.
Speaker 2: And you're saying that, like your group of friends and yourself,
Speaker 2: you love me definitely but you still struggle with that
Speaker 2: envy coming off of this experience.
Speaker 3: Absolutely. And I remember telling one of them they got
Speaker 3: to meet a famous celebrity, Bradley Cooper, and I said
Speaker 3: to Susan, Oh my gosh, I said, I'm so envious.
Speaker 3: I would love to meet Bradley Cooper. Oh, you know,
Speaker 3: he's such a great actor, and oh he's so handsome
Speaker 3: and all of that. And she said, you're just jealous, Nancy.
Speaker 3: I said, I'm not jealous, I'm envious. And there's two
Speaker 3: different you know what I mean. I envied that that
Speaker 3: you could be so funny and you get to do
Speaker 3: the fifty over fifty, and then you start looking at yourself, Well,
Speaker 3: why wasn't I picked for fifty over fifty. I'm not bad.
Speaker 3: I have things to offer, I know things I can do,
Speaker 3: But because I'm not in that personality, those people get
Speaker 3: seen more. And so that's what I also I think
Speaker 3: learned from you. You stuck to your values and you
Speaker 3: stuck to who the person you are. You didn't try
Speaker 3: to or it didn't appear that way.
Speaker 4: Well yeah, and it can be.
Speaker 2: It became that way because of some good advice I
Speaker 2: got too. And I've said it before, but it's probably
Speaker 2: the best advice I've ever been given, at least in
Speaker 2: this chapter of my life, is to use all this
Speaker 2: for something greater than yourself. And the less you focus
Speaker 2: on building up your brand and getting your opportunities, the
Speaker 2: less burden filled it will become. And it has been
Speaker 2: that way. There's a lot more joy for me because
Speaker 2: now my new friends and these new opportunities, and just
Speaker 2: this experience, remembering the experience and having the confidence coming
Speaker 2: out of that, the fact that you and I both
Speaker 2: were on national television. We laid our hearts out there
Speaker 2: the best we could, and we've done it, and we've
Speaker 2: survived it, and we're still moving on with life. That
Speaker 2: is something that I'm proud of and now I can
Speaker 2: take with me no matter what opportunities come or don't come.
Speaker 2: You're right, but the folk kiss outside of myself has
Speaker 2: made this whole thing so much better. I want to
Speaker 2: hear a little bit more about what your life looks
Speaker 2: like today coming off of the show. So you know,
Speaker 2: obviously we're here, we're in San Francisco, we get to
Speaker 2: do these great things together, but you went back to
Speaker 2: your life and you know you're not on television every
Speaker 2: week anymore, you're not filming for four months straight.
Speaker 4: So what does life look like for you?
Speaker 3: Well, I have three kids. Two are out of the house.
Speaker 3: One my youngest is a senior in college, so she'll
Speaker 3: be So it's me and my dog, Max, golden doodle,
Speaker 3: best dog ever. And you know, after this whole year
Speaker 3: has been busy. I was fortunate enough to get invited
Speaker 3: back for things after the final Rows. Women tell all that,
Speaker 3: and so I didn't work this year, and I've you know,
Speaker 3: volunteered for Colon Cancer Alliance, which I feel strongly about
Speaker 3: because my husband died from colon cancer. And so you know,
Speaker 3: everybody's like, you have a blank page, Now, what are
Speaker 3: you going to do? I was just trying to get
Speaker 3: my kids right after Mark passed away. They all went
Speaker 3: through It was bad and I didn't think we, any
Speaker 3: of us, were going to survive. And so that's what
Speaker 3: I did until they you know, got them in college,
Speaker 3: got them out of college, you know, all of that.
Speaker 3: And now I feel like it's now it's my time. Okay,
Speaker 3: what do you want to do? That's a big question, sure,
Speaker 3: and a big space to phill And so I feel
Speaker 3: like my faith is strong. It's actually gotten stronger, I
Speaker 3: think since the show, even because I pray about things
Speaker 3: and then things open up things, and I'm you know,
Speaker 3: I just want to be in the right spot and
Speaker 3: follow my values. But we also want to help other people.
Speaker 3: And I have some friends who have also lost their
Speaker 3: spouses at home, and we talk a lot about obviously
Speaker 3: grief in different forms of grief and all of that,
Speaker 3: and I really like that. Although I was thinking, oh,
Speaker 3: wouldn't it be great to do something with talking about grief,
Speaker 3: but grief that we all you don't just have to
Speaker 3: lose a spouse. You can lose a parent, you can
Speaker 3: lose a dog. But then I remember thinking, well, you
Speaker 3: I've grieve because I grieve the life I thought I
Speaker 3: was going to have, and or for my son. I
Speaker 3: grieve for him because he doesn't have his dad and
Speaker 3: the struggles he went through and he came out of
Speaker 3: he came through it, not out of it, but through it,
Speaker 3: and those kind of things I'd like to talk to
Speaker 3: people about and help people. But then end on a
Speaker 3: good note. You know, grief is so obviously depressing, but
Speaker 3: you can also end on a good note. So what
Speaker 3: did you learn from those things? That you went through
Speaker 3: going forward, how can you you know, let's end on
Speaker 3: a good note and talk about something positive anyway. But
Speaker 3: there's so many podcasts now about grief, which is great
Speaker 3: because I remember thinking, you know, sometimes you don't want
Speaker 3: to get out of bed, so you're not going to
Speaker 3: go you may not want to go to the therapist,
Speaker 3: or you can't afford to go to a therapist or whatever.
Speaker 3: And listening to people talk about it, and that's why
Speaker 3: I have a group, you know that we get together
Speaker 3: and just talk about it or not.
Speaker 2: One of the things I think yet to be seen
Speaker 2: and a role that I'm I think you could definitely
Speaker 2: carry would be Hopefully there's more seasons of The Golden Bachelor,
Speaker 2: which means there's going to be more stories shared and
Speaker 2: more people coming off of it, right, and you'll have
Speaker 2: the experience. Now you'll have a year's you know, head
Speaker 2: start or whatever the timeframe is to also reach out
Speaker 2: to these women who come off the show and who
Speaker 2: share their stories and support them in whatever way you know,
Speaker 2: to be helpful. And that's going to be a really
Speaker 2: not only exciting time for you because of the relationships
Speaker 2: that will be built, but I think a really helpful
Speaker 2: time for them because oftentimes you do, you lay your
Speaker 2: heart out there and then there's no place to turn afterwards,
Speaker 2: and you're just wondering what is next?
Speaker 4: Like what did I just do? A couple final questions
Speaker 4: for you.
Speaker 2: I'm always interested in this when it comes to the
Speaker 2: women who are on the Golden Bachelor. What did your
Speaker 2: kids think when they watch you on television? And what
Speaker 2: do they still think when they watch you on television today?
Speaker 3: Well before that, I made a promise to them. They're like, oh, Mom,
Speaker 3: no kissing. You're going to kiss somebody on TV? Look
Speaker 3: at them? Look they all French kiss The first night.
Speaker 3: I said, well, maybe some of the younger ones do,
Speaker 3: but trust me. And again I'm the only parent, so
Speaker 3: you know, I worried about that is that this is
Speaker 3: going to impact my kids anyway, and I thought, no,
Speaker 3: I can stand up for what I want to do. Sure,
Speaker 3: And so they, I think they saw saw it as
Speaker 3: like some you know, oh she's on a reality show,
Speaker 3: ha ha. But then they liked it, and then they
Speaker 3: were proud of me. They were like, Mom, you didn't
Speaker 3: kiss anybody on TV. You you know what you did great?
Speaker 3: And again I was only there. I think I left
Speaker 3: when there were seven people left, but they were proud
Speaker 3: of me, and I think they also saw I may
Speaker 3: have said this before that I think they see me
Speaker 3: differently now from being on the show. I think they
Speaker 3: see me obviously I'm their mom and their biggest cheerleader,
Speaker 3: but they also see me individually as a woman and
Speaker 3: someone who wants to who hopefully will find a partner, companion,
Speaker 3: perhaps get married again, someone who's still looking for love.
Speaker 3: And I've told them that in talking about dating, that
Speaker 3: your heart is big and you'll know this when you
Speaker 3: have your baby, girl, that you have so much love
Speaker 3: for your spouse and you don't want to take anything
Speaker 3: away from that. And then you have a baby, and
Speaker 3: then you think about possibly having another one. And I
Speaker 3: remember after I had one, thinking I could never love
Speaker 3: another child like I love mine, like I love Annie.
Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden, Griffin comes and I'm like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, I never knew. And then I use
Speaker 3: that same analogy with me dating again. I would get
Speaker 3: married again if I meet the right man. But it's
Speaker 3: not that that takes away from your dad. It doesn't
Speaker 3: my heart, And I said, your heart expands.
Speaker 1: You have.
Speaker 3: This life that you had and nothing can touch that,
Speaker 3: but your heart expands and you can also have a
Speaker 3: new life but not take away from the old one. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and I said, and I think you know obviously, I say,
Speaker 3: I think Daddy would be proud that of the way
Speaker 3: we've all come through everything and we're still standing.
Speaker 4: It's impressive.
Speaker 2: I think for all of you though, to go back
Speaker 2: and do these television shows. You have made appearances and
Speaker 2: you have gone on and you've done it with confidence
Speaker 2: and this grace, and you've just kind of done it
Speaker 2: like you just walked into it, walk through it, lind Yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's awesome and your kids should be very proud
Speaker 2: of you. Final question for you, because I know it's
Speaker 2: something you're passionate about. I know it's something that you're
Speaker 2: you know, trying to figure out how to do it best.
Speaker 2: Jones season is about to air. One quick question. Are
Speaker 2: you excited to watch it?
Speaker 3: So excited?
Speaker 4: I bet? How do you hope?
Speaker 2: I guess the show now as we're learning kind of
Speaker 2: what it's going to look like and the stories are
Speaker 2: going to be shared, and we're gonna have a lot
Speaker 2: of widows and widows of and that have crazy stories
Speaker 2: to tell that are going to be impactful but also
Speaker 2: just you know, heartbreaking. How do you hope the show
Speaker 2: kind of supports or how do you how do you
Speaker 2: hope these stories are shared I guess on television. And
Speaker 2: what do you hope people do with it as they watch?
Speaker 3: Well, I hope it's inspirational. I hope they see that
Speaker 3: you can go through this horrific loss and you can
Speaker 3: see I don't think they should focus on it, but
Speaker 3: I think it should be addressed and maybe more so
Speaker 3: than it was my opinion, or find out the whole story,
Speaker 3: what was their life like just a glimpse of it,
Speaker 3: and then moving forward on a positive note. And now
Speaker 3: you get to have this opportunity and go forward. And
Speaker 3: I think that I think America, this is my opinion,
Speaker 3: likes love stories obviously, and I just hope that with
Speaker 3: you know, the first Golden Bachelor that I was on.
Speaker 3: You know, there's also all these other things that the
Speaker 3: younger people don't have. There's two people in their sixties
Speaker 3: or seventies who have a home over here, and then
Speaker 3: you're meeting a guy on the other coast, and then
Speaker 3: you've got grandchildren and family and everybody. How does that work?
Speaker 3: And I think that's something to think about, because you
Speaker 3: can't just say, oh, I'm moving over you because you've
Speaker 3: already established this huge family. But I think I think
Speaker 3: my hope is that it gives other people hope that yes,
Speaker 3: you know, we all have lost and we all but
Speaker 3: hopefully you'll meet somebody else. And I've met a lot
Speaker 3: of other people who I never thought I would meet
Speaker 3: and are friends with.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the when you say that, I have a memory.
Speaker 2: I did a something that was never aired, but I
Speaker 2: filmed kind of a watch party episode with Gary where
Speaker 2: we jumped on a bus and went to all these
Speaker 2: homes and.
Speaker 3: Oh, right, I remember that.
Speaker 2: And we walked into one home and there was a
Speaker 2: lady there who had just lost her husband, I think
Speaker 2: three years previously, and we walked into this watch party
Speaker 2: and she was kind of sitting off to the side,
Speaker 2: and at some point she came up to Gary and
Speaker 2: myself and she just looked at Gary and said, Hey,
Speaker 2: what you're doing here, like is giving me hope again.
Speaker 4: And she's just crying.
Speaker 2: So she's seeing, you know, what could be uh and
Speaker 2: what the opportunities are for her, and she's people, you know,
Speaker 2: courageous enough to go try it on TV. I think
Speaker 2: it's incredibly courageous. I'm very excited that you did it.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: And I think also they see like I'm taking up golf.
Speaker 3: I do have a golf coach, Daniel simm he's in
Speaker 3: the amateur world. But I would have never done that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because of all of this, I played pickleball. I would
Speaker 3: have never done that. So you're also not sitting on
Speaker 3: the couch and staying in. I think it also shows
Speaker 3: that you really do have to get out yeah, and
Speaker 3: put yourself out there and try new things.
Speaker 2: I think it's a great piece of advice. Simple yet
Speaker 2: eric can change everything. Just put yourself out there. Go
Speaker 2: you never know, Go be active. It's not too late.
Speaker 2: Hey Nancy, it's awesome to have you here. I really
Speaker 2: appreciate it.
Speaker 3: It was a pleasure.
Speaker 4: Yeah, thanks for coming to hang out.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
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