WEBVTT - Going for the Gold with Nancy Hulkower 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:03.840 This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast 0:00:03.880 --> 0:00:04.680 with iHeartRadio. 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:09.960 It's almost famous podcast. We're here in San Francisco. Nancy 0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:12.959 is with us. Nancy, you and I have a lot 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:15.240 of life in common, don't we. 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:17.360 Yes, we do. Funny, isn't it. 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:18.080 It's funny. 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:20.120 I told you there must be something in the water. 0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:26.239 Explain to the audience how our lives have been interconnected. 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:31.960 Yes, when you were the Golden or the Bachelor. Sorry, 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:35.479 Golden everything is golden right now for me? When you 0:00:35.560 --> 0:00:38.680 were the Bachelor, obviously, I grew up in Indiana and 0:00:38.760 --> 0:00:42.800 more signed Deiana. You did too, and your parents lived 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:45.200 on the lake. My parents lived on the lake. And 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:48.839 my mom was like, I know Ben Higgins. I've known 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:52.159 him since he was little, and go to the same church. 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:54.760 And did she teach you kindergarten? 0:00:55.120 --> 0:00:57.720 She did not, But we worked together. 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:00.680 You work together. And she was, I don't know if 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:04.360 I can say this. She said, when you started, you know, 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:07.600 when things were you know, everybody knew you. The show 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:09.160 was still going on. And she goes, you know, I 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:11.679 really I slept with Ben Higgins. I go, Mom, you 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:14.160 can't say that. She goes, no, no, no, But it 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:17.680 was a church camp and you guys help some of 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:22.640 the kids who had challenges, And she said, no, Ben 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:26.800 and I literally slept together in a tent bunkmates. But 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:29.440 she was saying it, of course, not meaning anything else, 0:01:29.480 --> 0:01:33.440 but I was like, Mom, say it a different way. 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:34.840 Story. 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:37.640 So so, and then you know, I came when you 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:40.760 were the Bachelor, and I came to and I have 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:46.160 pictures of it when you did five K or ten K, 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:49.480 and then when you came to the Boys Club, and 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:51.760 I know you worked at the Boys Club and you 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:55.920 worked with my son one summer when he was struggling 0:01:55.960 --> 0:01:59.640 and my mom had him come to Grandma Carol's Lord 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:02.480 knows what she made him do. But also he worked 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:04.240 with you then, and so it was just kind of 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:06.840 I'm so much older than you are, but it just 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:10.360 feels so nice to have that in common. 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:12.120 Well, and it was nice for me to watch the 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:14.520 show and to root and cheer for you. You know, it's 0:02:14.520 --> 0:02:18.240 probably like Roles reverse there where I'm watching it going like, 0:02:18.520 --> 0:02:19.840 you know, I want to know more about her, I 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:22.239 want to see her thrive. And you're right, your mom 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:24.840 and I had a lot of like alignment, and so, 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:28.720 you know, I some of the most impactful years of 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:30.600 my life and why I do what I do today, 0:02:30.840 --> 0:02:32.560 was during that season where I was working with your 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:35.440 mom because we got to work with some incredible kids 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:38.600 at this camp, and I got to see and learn 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:41.240 from her, right because she was older than me. I 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:43.520 was like twenty years old at the time, right, But 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:46.880 we were both you know, helping push kids up the 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:49.800 hill or get you know, these kids cleaned up. And 0:02:49.800 --> 0:02:52.520 then we were we were sharing this cabin together and 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:56.000 this like really powerful team, right that were that you know, 0:02:56.160 --> 0:03:00.799 was helping cultivate this camp. Yes, and so your mom 0:03:00.840 --> 0:03:02.880 and I have done a lot of life together, especially 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:04.000 in my early twenties. 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:05.880 We did grow up in the same area. 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:11.000 I just got to ask this, did watching The Bachelor 0:03:12.160 --> 0:03:14.480 and seeing that whole thing go? Did it have any 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:16.360 influence on you then saying I want to go on 0:03:16.400 --> 0:03:17.320 to the Golden Show? 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:23.080 Yes, definitely, because I remember you may not remember it, 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:26.639 but I remember when I was at the ten k 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:31.160 or the five k thinking and my husband had died 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:35.680 maybe three years before that, and so I was thinking 0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:38.720 they should do something for widows, is what I was 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:41.080 thinking in my head. And I made like an off 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:42.680 comment like wouldn't this be great? 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:42.960 Ben? 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:45.920 And you know you. Ben was surrounded by you know, 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:49.080 hundreds of people at the time, but I remember thinking 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:52.280 that and I thought, yeah, right, and that was it. 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:57.880 And then move forward and my niece applied me and 0:03:58.760 --> 0:04:02.320 I thought, Okay, should I do this? Should I not 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:10.840 do this? And I remember you saying why not? Not 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:13.600 to me but to Luke. I think, yeah, one of 0:04:13.640 --> 0:04:16.880 our my nephew, like, oh, she should do it or 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:19.880 why wouldn't she do it? And it was an influence 0:04:19.960 --> 0:04:22.760 because I'd seen you. I'd seen that, I watched the 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:27.200 whole show. I watched you and Lauren, etc. And I thought, no, 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:30.360 this would be really great. So I went in eyes 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:37.040 wide open. Unlike some of my colleagues on the show 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:41.080 cast members, I didn't read a book. I didn't know 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:43.240 that there was even a book to read how to win. 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:47.279 I wasn't there for that. I had been single for 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:49.920 twelve years and I thought, you know what, maybe this 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:53.560 is it. And doors kept opening like I thought, oh, 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:55.800 I won't do that, and all of a sudden it 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:59.040 just kept going and I thought, no, I'm going to 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:00.960 do this. So it was an adventure. 0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:02.560 It is helpful. 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:06.200 To know somebody who's gone through it before you, because 0:05:06.240 --> 0:05:08.960 I do think there's a level two where going on 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:13.280 this show feels overwhelming. It feels like you like, how 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:15.880 in the world can I do this? And I felt 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:19.160 that way when I went on to the Bachelorette, and 0:05:19.200 --> 0:05:22.600 then what helped me was meeting actually some other guys 0:05:22.600 --> 0:05:25.640 that were bachelor's and going, wait, they're actually normal, like 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:27.719 they're humans still functioning in this world. 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:28.279 Right. 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:30.560 I feel like, if they can do it, I can 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:34.440 do it, just because they're good people. And so once 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:36.160 you know somebody who's gone through it does make it 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:38.760 a little easier. And so I did say that. I 0:05:38.760 --> 0:05:40.760 remember saying that to Luke because I remember when I 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:45.080 was told that you were considering doing this show. Does 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:48.160 that advice of the why not or why wouldn't you? 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:50.040 Are you glad you did it? Did it work out? 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:58.919 Absolutely? I again went in blind but hopeful, and it 0:06:00.600 --> 0:06:04.719 surpassed what I thought would happen. Unfortunately, Gary and I 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:08.520 really didn't have a connection, and I self eliminated, as 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:14.880 you know, but I, as you've heard, made fabulous friends 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:18.040 and still have hope that you know, and with now 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:22.080 Joan on her season, you know, she's finding love hopefully, 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:25.919 and it gives us hope for the future. 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:28.400 I think that's a big question that people are having 0:06:28.400 --> 0:06:31.000 though with the Golden Show. You know, we see it 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:34.279 with past contestants and past seasons where the friends come out. 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:38.320 You guys are obviously you have this built you know 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:40.800 in friendship now that kind of travels around, does fun 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:41.400 stuff together. 0:06:42.200 --> 0:06:45.200 But what is the hope after the show? 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:48.720 Because for the younger people, they come off and they 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:51.520 become influencers or they you know, just are getting their 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:54.600 careers started. So what is like, what are you excited for? 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:56.599 What are your friends excited for that have came off 0:06:56.600 --> 0:06:57.440 this Golden Show? 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:01.320 I think many I was again, I didn't have an 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:04.919 Instagram before. I know that may sound bad, but my 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:12.040 kids are like, what you don't. I was shocked at 0:07:12.320 --> 0:07:15.960 Oh my gosh, Like right after the show, all of 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:18.280 a sudden, everybody's like, you got to get so many followers, 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:20.320 you got to do this. I went on a show 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:23.920 or a vacation with a couple of the cast members, 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:28.600 and they every day it was okay, we got to 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:31.240 do a video smile because we got this has to 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:33.560 get out. Okay. How many followers did we get how 0:07:33.560 --> 0:07:37.360 many how many people comment? What are they saying every morning? 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:41.960 And I literally said, we're on vacation, and they're like, 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:45.560 You've got to seize the moment. And I mean, this 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:48.760 is like a soft spot for me because I still 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:53.200 I don't know what my role is. I'm you know, 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:56.160 I'm a great people person. I can hang out with anybody. 0:07:57.080 --> 0:08:00.040 I want to do some good in the world. And 0:08:00.360 --> 0:08:03.640 all of a sudden, I'm surrounded with a lot of 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:08.600 people who it's like, this is the goal. Wait, I'm 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:10.320 going to go talk to I'm going to go talk 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:13.680 to Ben first. I'm going to go talk to who 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:18.400 see who whoever? First? And I got his number? Oh yeah, 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:20.120 Ben texted me the other day. I'm using that as 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:23.679 an example. But and then I'm like, what are you? 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:26.320 And people are still talking to the producers and I 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:28.400 talk to some of them, but I don't call them 0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:31.520 and say what do you got for me? What do 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:34.560 you know? Can you use me in any way? And 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:37.960 the other thing was it made me self reflect because 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:41.439 I'm not like many of my friends on the show. 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:46.680 There's big personalities. They're hilarious. Kathy and Susan are my 0:08:46.800 --> 0:08:52.000 closest friends, and Joan and Christina. Christina and Joan and 0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:58.400 I are more alike, we're quieter. We but it makes 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:02.920 you self self value eight and go, well, I'm not 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:05.160 as funny, so nobody's gonna want to talk to me 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:08.600 or that kind of thing. And so it's really hard 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:15.840 right now in this arena. The funnier person gets the shows, 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:22.880 and the funnier person gets the whatever cels peepers or whatever. 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:25.040 So it's just different. 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:27.760 It is, And it's unique to hear you say that 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:32.600 because it's the same struggle that I think I went 0:09:32.679 --> 0:09:35.800 through when I got off the show. Yeah, and it 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:37.960 is that comparison, and it is a little bit of 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:40.480 the envy. I just publicly talked about it the other day. 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:43.199 I was speaking at a conference and it was more 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:45.040 of a panel and they asked me the question, what's 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:47.520 the one thing that's been so unique that you've struggled 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:48.520 with that's kind of surprising. 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:50.040 I struggle with so. 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.960 Much envy, and I think the envy is brought on 0:09:53.040 --> 0:09:55.840 the anxiety, and the envy is brought on the you know, comparison. 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:59.960 And you're saying that, like your group of friends and yourself, 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:03.640 you love me definitely but you still struggle with that 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:05.280 envy coming off of this experience. 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:08.839 Absolutely. And I remember telling one of them they got 0:10:08.840 --> 0:10:12.520 to meet a famous celebrity, Bradley Cooper, and I said 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:17.920 to Susan, Oh my gosh, I said, I'm so envious. 0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:20.800 I would love to meet Bradley Cooper. Oh, you know, 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:24.280 he's such a great actor, and oh he's so handsome 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:27.400 and all of that. And she said, you're just jealous, Nancy. 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:30.760 I said, I'm not jealous, I'm envious. And there's two 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:34.000 different you know what I mean. I envied that that 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:36.960 you could be so funny and you get to do 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:40.400 the fifty over fifty, and then you start looking at yourself, Well, 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:43.280 why wasn't I picked for fifty over fifty. I'm not bad. 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:47.120 I have things to offer, I know things I can do, 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:52.760 But because I'm not in that personality, those people get 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:58.000 seen more. And so that's what I also I think 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:02.840 learned from you. You stuck to your values and you 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:06.000 stuck to who the person you are. You didn't try 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:07.559 to or it didn't appear that way. 0:11:07.480 --> 0:11:08.320 Well yeah, and it can be. 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:11.720 It became that way because of some good advice I 0:11:11.800 --> 0:11:14.600 got too. And I've said it before, but it's probably 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:16.280 the best advice I've ever been given, at least in 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:18.560 this chapter of my life, is to use all this 0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:22.000 for something greater than yourself. And the less you focus 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:26.760 on building up your brand and getting your opportunities, the 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:29.880 less burden filled it will become. And it has been 0:11:29.920 --> 0:11:34.480 that way. There's a lot more joy for me because 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:37.960 now my new friends and these new opportunities, and just 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:41.640 this experience, remembering the experience and having the confidence coming 0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:43.560 out of that, the fact that you and I both 0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:46.920 were on national television. We laid our hearts out there 0:11:47.160 --> 0:11:49.800 the best we could, and we've done it, and we've 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:52.400 survived it, and we're still moving on with life. That 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:54.760 is something that I'm proud of and now I can 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:57.280 take with me no matter what opportunities come or don't come. 0:11:57.480 --> 0:12:01.720 You're right, but the folk kiss outside of myself has 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:05.200 made this whole thing so much better. I want to 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:07.400 hear a little bit more about what your life looks 0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:11.600 like today coming off of the show. So you know, 0:12:11.720 --> 0:12:14.120 obviously we're here, we're in San Francisco, we get to 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:17.400 do these great things together, but you went back to 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:21.840 your life and you know you're not on television every 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.280 week anymore, you're not filming for four months straight. 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:25.960 So what does life look like for you? 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:30.120 Well, I have three kids. Two are out of the house. 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:33.400 One my youngest is a senior in college, so she'll 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:36.960 be So it's me and my dog, Max, golden doodle, 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:41.080 best dog ever. And you know, after this whole year 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:44.200 has been busy. I was fortunate enough to get invited 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:47.920 back for things after the final Rows. Women tell all that, 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:52.520 and so I didn't work this year, and I've you know, 0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:56.120 volunteered for Colon Cancer Alliance, which I feel strongly about 0:12:56.720 --> 0:13:01.240 because my husband died from colon cancer. And so you know, 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:05.200 everybody's like, you have a blank page, Now, what are 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:08.120 you going to do? I was just trying to get 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:13.920 my kids right after Mark passed away. They all went 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:18.160 through It was bad and I didn't think we, any 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:21.400 of us, were going to survive. And so that's what 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:25.199 I did until they you know, got them in college, 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:27.160 got them out of college, you know, all of that. 0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:32.560 And now I feel like it's now it's my time. Okay, 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:35.640 what do you want to do? That's a big question, sure, 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:40.559 and a big space to phill And so I feel 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:45.640 like my faith is strong. It's actually gotten stronger, I 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:51.240 think since the show, even because I pray about things 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:55.120 and then things open up things, and I'm you know, 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.240 I just want to be in the right spot and 0:13:57.360 --> 0:14:01.360 follow my values. But we also want to help other people. 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:05.000 And I have some friends who have also lost their 0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:09.640 spouses at home, and we talk a lot about obviously 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:12.040 grief in different forms of grief and all of that, 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:18.000 and I really like that. Although I was thinking, oh, 0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:23.440 wouldn't it be great to do something with talking about grief, 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:26.320 but grief that we all you don't just have to 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.560 lose a spouse. You can lose a parent, you can 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:33.360 lose a dog. But then I remember thinking, well, you 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:38.760 I've grieve because I grieve the life I thought I 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:42.880 was going to have, and or for my son. I 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:46.520 grieve for him because he doesn't have his dad and 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:48.960 the struggles he went through and he came out of 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:51.120 he came through it, not out of it, but through it, 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:56.720 and those kind of things I'd like to talk to 0:14:56.760 --> 0:14:59.160 people about and help people. But then end on a 0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:03.720 good note. You know, grief is so obviously depressing, but 0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:05.760 you can also end on a good note. So what 0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:09.240 did you learn from those things? That you went through 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:13.600 going forward, how can you you know, let's end on 0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:17.400 a good note and talk about something positive anyway. But 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:20.480 there's so many podcasts now about grief, which is great 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:23.960 because I remember thinking, you know, sometimes you don't want 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:26.400 to get out of bed, so you're not going to 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:28.920 go you may not want to go to the therapist, 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:31.120 or you can't afford to go to a therapist or whatever. 0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:34.560 And listening to people talk about it, and that's why 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.120 I have a group, you know that we get together 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:39.360 and just talk about it or not. 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:52.520 One of the things I think yet to be seen 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:58.640 and a role that I'm I think you could definitely 0:15:58.680 --> 0:16:02.800 carry would be Hopefully there's more seasons of The Golden Bachelor, 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:06.960 which means there's going to be more stories shared and 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:09.920 more people coming off of it, right, and you'll have 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:12.600 the experience. Now you'll have a year's you know, head 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:16.600 start or whatever the timeframe is to also reach out 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:19.400 to these women who come off the show and who 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:23.880 share their stories and support them in whatever way you know, 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:27.320 to be helpful. And that's going to be a really 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:30.359 not only exciting time for you because of the relationships 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:31.920 that will be built, but I think a really helpful 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:37.320 time for them because oftentimes you do, you lay your 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:40.520 heart out there and then there's no place to turn afterwards, 0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:42.840 and you're just wondering what is next? 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:46.560 Like what did I just do? A couple final questions 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:46.800 for you. 0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:51.800 I'm always interested in this when it comes to the 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:54.880 women who are on the Golden Bachelor. What did your 0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:57.840 kids think when they watch you on television? And what 0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:01.560 do they still think when they watch you on television today? 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:05.960 Well before that, I made a promise to them. They're like, oh, Mom, 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:09.480 no kissing. You're going to kiss somebody on TV? Look 0:17:09.480 --> 0:17:12.680 at them? Look they all French kiss The first night. 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:15.520 I said, well, maybe some of the younger ones do, 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:19.000 but trust me. And again I'm the only parent, so 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:21.320 you know, I worried about that is that this is 0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:23.119 going to impact my kids anyway, and I thought, no, 0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:27.000 I can stand up for what I want to do. Sure, 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:31.080 And so they, I think they saw saw it as 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:34.600 like some you know, oh she's on a reality show, 0:17:34.640 --> 0:17:38.040 ha ha. But then they liked it, and then they 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:44.280 were proud of me. They were like, Mom, you didn't 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:48.919 kiss anybody on TV. You you know what you did great? 0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:51.280 And again I was only there. I think I left 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:55.159 when there were seven people left, but they were proud 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:58.360 of me, and I think they also saw I may 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:00.840 have said this before that I think they see me 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:03.920 differently now from being on the show. I think they 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:07.840 see me obviously I'm their mom and their biggest cheerleader, 0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:12.280 but they also see me individually as a woman and 0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:17.399 someone who wants to who hopefully will find a partner, companion, 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:22.160 perhaps get married again, someone who's still looking for love. 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:26.840 And I've told them that in talking about dating, that 0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:30.719 your heart is big and you'll know this when you 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:36.040 have your baby, girl, that you have so much love 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:38.600 for your spouse and you don't want to take anything 0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:41.239 away from that. And then you have a baby, and 0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:45.000 then you think about possibly having another one. And I 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:48.840 remember after I had one, thinking I could never love 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:52.760 another child like I love mine, like I love Annie. 0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:56.160 And then all of a sudden, Griffin comes and I'm like, 0:18:57.040 --> 0:19:00.320 oh my god, I never knew. And then I use 0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:05.840 that same analogy with me dating again. I would get 0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:09.359 married again if I meet the right man. But it's 0:19:09.400 --> 0:19:12.440 not that that takes away from your dad. It doesn't 0:19:12.840 --> 0:19:16.159 my heart, And I said, your heart expands. 0:19:16.560 --> 0:19:16.919 You have. 0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:22.800 This life that you had and nothing can touch that, 0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:27.240 but your heart expands and you can also have a 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:32.240 new life but not take away from the old one. Yeah, 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:35.359 and I said, and I think you know obviously, I say, 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:38.240 I think Daddy would be proud that of the way 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:41.080 we've all come through everything and we're still standing. 0:19:41.400 --> 0:19:42.199 It's impressive. 0:19:42.359 --> 0:19:44.560 I think for all of you though, to go back 0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:48.199 and do these television shows. You have made appearances and 0:19:48.240 --> 0:19:50.639 you have gone on and you've done it with confidence 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:53.600 and this grace, and you've just kind of done it 0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:56.560 like you just walked into it, walk through it, lind Yeah, 0:19:56.600 --> 0:19:58.600 and it's awesome and your kids should be very proud 0:19:58.600 --> 0:20:02.000 of you. Final question for you, because I know it's 0:20:02.000 --> 0:20:04.600 something you're passionate about. I know it's something that you're 0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:06.959 you know, trying to figure out how to do it best. 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:11.840 Jones season is about to air. One quick question. Are 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:12.800 you excited to watch it? 0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:14.320 So excited? 0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:18.399 I bet? How do you hope? 0:20:19.320 --> 0:20:23.240 I guess the show now as we're learning kind of 0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:24.560 what it's going to look like and the stories are 0:20:24.560 --> 0:20:25.719 going to be shared, and we're gonna have a lot 0:20:25.760 --> 0:20:29.840 of widows and widows of and that have crazy stories 0:20:29.840 --> 0:20:31.840 to tell that are going to be impactful but also 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:36.320 just you know, heartbreaking. How do you hope the show 0:20:36.400 --> 0:20:42.680 kind of supports or how do you how do you 0:20:42.720 --> 0:20:45.119 hope these stories are shared I guess on television. And 0:20:45.160 --> 0:20:47.159 what do you hope people do with it as they watch? 0:20:47.640 --> 0:20:50.919 Well, I hope it's inspirational. I hope they see that 0:20:51.560 --> 0:20:57.520 you can go through this horrific loss and you can 0:20:57.600 --> 0:21:00.480 see I don't think they should focus on it, but 0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:03.080 I think it should be addressed and maybe more so 0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:07.560 than it was my opinion, or find out the whole story, 0:21:07.600 --> 0:21:10.040 what was their life like just a glimpse of it, 0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:16.440 and then moving forward on a positive note. And now 0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:22.080 you get to have this opportunity and go forward. And 0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:25.440 I think that I think America, this is my opinion, 0:21:27.520 --> 0:21:32.480 likes love stories obviously, and I just hope that with 0:21:32.880 --> 0:21:35.240 you know, the first Golden Bachelor that I was on. 0:21:35.880 --> 0:21:38.320 You know, there's also all these other things that the 0:21:38.400 --> 0:21:41.880 younger people don't have. There's two people in their sixties 0:21:41.960 --> 0:21:46.520 or seventies who have a home over here, and then 0:21:46.560 --> 0:21:49.640 you're meeting a guy on the other coast, and then 0:21:49.680 --> 0:21:53.840 you've got grandchildren and family and everybody. How does that work? 0:21:54.280 --> 0:21:58.320 And I think that's something to think about, because you 0:21:58.359 --> 0:22:01.080 can't just say, oh, I'm moving over you because you've 0:22:01.119 --> 0:22:05.000 already established this huge family. But I think I think 0:22:05.480 --> 0:22:08.359 my hope is that it gives other people hope that yes, 0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:11.639 you know, we all have lost and we all but 0:22:11.840 --> 0:22:15.440 hopefully you'll meet somebody else. And I've met a lot 0:22:15.440 --> 0:22:17.400 of other people who I never thought I would meet 0:22:17.680 --> 0:22:18.439 and are friends with. 0:22:18.640 --> 0:22:21.600 Yeah, the when you say that, I have a memory. 0:22:21.720 --> 0:22:24.679 I did a something that was never aired, but I 0:22:24.760 --> 0:22:27.800 filmed kind of a watch party episode with Gary where 0:22:27.800 --> 0:22:29.080 we jumped on a bus and went to all these 0:22:29.119 --> 0:22:29.600 homes and. 0:22:30.040 --> 0:22:31.400 Oh, right, I remember that. 0:22:31.520 --> 0:22:33.960 And we walked into one home and there was a 0:22:34.040 --> 0:22:36.800 lady there who had just lost her husband, I think 0:22:36.880 --> 0:22:39.760