1
00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:02,720
Speaker 1: M ib a hole for not telling my wife that

2
00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:05,640
Speaker 1: my girl best friend used to be my friends with

3
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,520
Speaker 1: benefits because she told me not to. We're gonna answer

4
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:10,960
Speaker 1: that question and the question of can you maintain a

5
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,920
Speaker 1: relationship with an ex after you break up? It's a

6
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:17,000
Speaker 1: it's a hard thing to do. It's a hard thing

7
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:17,200
Speaker 1: to do.

8
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,200
Speaker 2: But also someone who is hard in the studio with

9
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:26,240
Speaker 2: us right now is that's all right.

10
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,160
Speaker 3: Everything out of my mouth today is guaranteed good advice.

11
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:30,240
Speaker 3: You can take it to the bank.

12
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,640
Speaker 4: Honestly, you can guess literally everything that's going to go wrong. Yeah,

13
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:35,680
Speaker 4: and then prescribe them the worst best guess. I am

14
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,240
Speaker 4: in the world's best guess, or that is a fact.

15
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,520
Speaker 4: Let's go cental fact. But let's jump into this story.

16
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,680
Speaker 4: So I have been having arguments with my wife and

17
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:46,199
Speaker 4: standing my ground on a policy we made when we

18
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:49,280
Speaker 4: were dating. However, somehow I feel I might be in

19
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,720
Speaker 4: the wrong and wanted to get a neutral opinion on

20
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:54,800
Speaker 4: the issue. So for context, my wife and I are

21
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,440
Speaker 4: both in our mid thirties and are deeply religious.

22
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,120
Speaker 2: Please don't judge us on this.

23
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:07,080
Speaker 3: You know what they're about to say. Lords involved has

24
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,600
Speaker 3: become a whole nother story, keep going. I'm all ears.

25
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,000
Speaker 1: She is quick to judge people who do not have

26
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:16,240
Speaker 1: the same belief system as her, which was basically us

27
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:22,840
Speaker 1: ten seconds ago. I also like our modest lifestyle and

28
00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:26,320
Speaker 1: how great of a wife she has been. However, I

29
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,480
Speaker 1: was not always like this. I grew up in a

30
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,160
Speaker 1: small religious town in the South, where our social life

31
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,959
Speaker 1: revolved around the church. I worked very hard to get

32
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,960
Speaker 1: into college on the East Coast as far away from

33
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,440
Speaker 1: my town as possible, and I feel like, oh, he's

34
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,160
Speaker 1: gonna go wild. Maybe if you were just as hard

35
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,720
Speaker 1: on your marriage, you wouldn't be here.

36
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:47,120
Speaker 2: That's my first instead of parting all day.

37
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:52,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, well as any person who has repressed his desires

38
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:56,920
Speaker 1: for years. I had a very wild college life and slept.

39
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,720
Speaker 2: With a lot of girls. God all right, flex op

40
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:00,520
Speaker 2: to come on.

41
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,480
Speaker 1: After I graduated, I continue to be the same until

42
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,360
Speaker 1: I met a girl who I became deeply emotional Wait no, no,

43
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:13,840
Speaker 1: who became deeply emotionally involved with me. Oh I was

44
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,160
Speaker 1: like involved with their No, she became involved with me.

45
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:20,120
Speaker 3: Man looking for help. He was just showing off. You know,

46
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,440
Speaker 3: these girls are just falling in love with me. I'm

47
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:23,160
Speaker 3: just working around.

48
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,520
Speaker 2: He was like, oh, help me. I went through college.

49
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,720
Speaker 2: I'm banking so many women. I'm losing my mind and

50
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:30,760
Speaker 2: just boring to me now.

51
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:36,960
Speaker 1: Despite clearly communicating I wanted to date casually. No, okay

52
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,919
Speaker 1: not take the fact that I was with other girls

53
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,800
Speaker 1: when dating her, and she had an emotional breakdown, thought

54
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,320
Speaker 1: I was cheating on her. I cared about her too,

55
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,160
Speaker 1: and it broke something in me. I started therapy and

56
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:52,400
Speaker 1: learned that I had an addiction and worked very hard

57
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:57,440
Speaker 1: to improve myself addicted to what I think seth. Wow, yeah,

58
00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,760
Speaker 1: good for him to have the therapy.

59
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,040
Speaker 2: Things right.

60
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:08,280
Speaker 3: Therapy took a turn crazy because I was going through

61
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,760
Speaker 3: college just wipe.

62
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,440
Speaker 2: Then I went to therapy and found myself. It's like,

63
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,239
Speaker 2: I think he's become a new man. We'll see.

64
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:15,480
Speaker 3: So.

65
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,520
Speaker 1: I also joined a church around the same time and

66
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:22,160
Speaker 1: started appreciating my religious upbringing. I reconnected with my parents

67
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,560
Speaker 1: and sisters and was celibate for almost two years.

68
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:26,720
Speaker 2: Let's go.

69
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,400
Speaker 1: I only dated with the goal of getting married and

70
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,240
Speaker 1: met Amy, my wife. We had similar values and she

71
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,640
Speaker 1: was saving herself for marriage. I told her about my

72
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:37,200
Speaker 1: past and she said that she only cares about my

73
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:42,880
Speaker 1: present and my future very cute. As we started getting close,

74
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:47,120
Speaker 1: we started discussing spicy sleep and she told me that

75
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,880
Speaker 1: she is worried that it would be painful when we

76
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,120
Speaker 1: eventually do it.

77
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,280
Speaker 2: Me, being a stupid buffoon.

78
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,040
Speaker 1: Told her about girls who were virgins when we slept

79
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,920
Speaker 1: together and how they described their experience.

80
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:02,480
Speaker 3: Oh my god, wait real fast. Number one rule, You

81
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:07,080
Speaker 3: don't compare your current girlfriend to past women you've been with.

82
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,600
Speaker 2: You don't do that, especially a celibate virgin. Yeah, you don't.

83
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,480
Speaker 3: You don't walk into a room like, oh I've seen

84
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:16,120
Speaker 3: this before, like what exactly this diagram?

85
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:20,239
Speaker 2: I've done it again.

86
00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:22,719
Speaker 1: You know you can talk to my satisfied customers, just

87
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:26,840
Speaker 1: so you know it'll be okay. She said I should

88
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:31,799
Speaker 1: never mention my exes and spicy sleep to her ever again,

89
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,640
Speaker 1: as it was disgusting. She basically turned pale like she

90
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:39,040
Speaker 1: saw a ghost. We had a big fight. I agreed,

91
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:43,680
Speaker 1: and we implemented our don't ask, don't tell policy on

92
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,120
Speaker 1: Pride Month. It basically me she would never ask me

93
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,080
Speaker 1: about my past and I would never bring it up.

94
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,039
Speaker 1: All right, really quick, breaking this down for a sec.

95
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,960
Speaker 1: What do you think about it? Don't ask, don't tell?

96
00:04:55,040 --> 00:05:01,000
Speaker 1: Policy because I feel like on Pride Month, yeah, when

97
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,680
Speaker 1: it is applied to relationships and ex partners, because I

98
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,720
Speaker 1: feel like, I feel like it's important to talk about

99
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,960
Speaker 1: your past experiences so you can.

100
00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:13,800
Speaker 4: Spicy experiences, which, by the way, that's our word for monetization,

101
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:18,560
Speaker 4: spicy sleep. That's our community have. I'm taking that with me.

102
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:26,880
Speaker 2: Your videos and that's kind of funny. Yeah, that's right,

103
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,720
Speaker 2: pretty great, But yeah, what do you think?

104
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:30,560
Speaker 1: What do you think do you think it is a

105
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:34,680
Speaker 1: good idea to talk about past relationships in your current relationships?

106
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,400
Speaker 4: Well, are we talking about past relationships or past spicy

107
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,919
Speaker 4: sleep experiences? Well, like I think that maybe it sounds

108
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,479
Speaker 4: like they're just talking about like past spicy sleep experiences,

109
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:51,080
Speaker 4: but it really like he's bringing this up because of

110
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,039
Speaker 4: like she's worried about something. He's like, oh, like, you know,

111
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,360
Speaker 4: this is why you shouldn't be worried. It's not just

112
00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:00,279
Speaker 4: spicy sleep. What she said, I should never mention my

113
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,000
Speaker 4: exes and spicy sleep ever. Again, So I think it's

114
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:04,520
Speaker 4: like both both.

115
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,440
Speaker 2: I have a rule. Talk to me.

116
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:12,880
Speaker 3: My rule is, well, I think I tell my fiance

117
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:19,919
Speaker 3: everything right, Like, I don't hold anything back, as in,

118
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:23,360
Speaker 3: if she asked me something, I'm always gonna tell her

119
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,480
Speaker 3: whatever it is, she asked me, Yeah, but I never

120
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:31,600
Speaker 3: talk about past relationships unless ask ask then tell yeah,

121
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,160
Speaker 3: So like I'm never like withholding information.

122
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:34,920
Speaker 2: Yeah right.

123
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,640
Speaker 3: I think the best way to have a good relationship

124
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:41,239
Speaker 3: is to just be so open and communicative that there's

125
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:44,080
Speaker 3: never this feeling of like, does he I know everything?

126
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,039
Speaker 3: Does he think this right now? Like it should feel

127
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,479
Speaker 3: like you know exactly what your partner is thinking, But

128
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,440
Speaker 3: you also don't want to open doors that can introduce

129
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,600
Speaker 3: doubt or insecurity unless.

130
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,200
Speaker 2: You're both willing to go down that road.

131
00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,440
Speaker 3: Like if someone if she comes to me and she

132
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,000
Speaker 3: was like, I want to hear about this person, I'd

133
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,040
Speaker 3: be like, right, what do you want to hear about it?

134
00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:06,680
Speaker 3: And I'll tell you everything up to whatever you want

135
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:11,160
Speaker 3: to know. But if you're like, hey, I don't think

136
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,480
Speaker 3: it's healthy healthy for me to know these things, then

137
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,400
Speaker 3: I just won't say but just but you know you

138
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,000
Speaker 3: can if you.

139
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,600
Speaker 2: Want what about intentionally?

140
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:23,280
Speaker 1: Like sometimes I'll i'll say, oh, I did this thing

141
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,720
Speaker 1: with a friend of like relating a past experience I

142
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:30,760
Speaker 1: had where instead of saying girlfriend, because I feel like

143
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,240
Speaker 1: all of my past experiences are with girlfriends.

144
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,800
Speaker 2: Tell you so you think that is technically lie.

145
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:40,560
Speaker 3: If you're gonna say, you gotta say I use you

146
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,280
Speaker 3: got to just be straight up say like it is

147
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,040
Speaker 3: like that.

148
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,400
Speaker 2: I think that's even worse because if.

149
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:49,520
Speaker 3: You're like kind of jumping around it, eventually you're gonna

150
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:50,880
Speaker 3: get to the middle of it, and then the question

151
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,360
Speaker 3: is going to be why did you call her your

152
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,360
Speaker 3: friend in the first place?

153
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,920
Speaker 2: Why were you jumping around? You hiding so.

154
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:59,760
Speaker 1: Right with with with your with your uh your rule?

155
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,960
Speaker 1: Are you saying, like, are you talking about your past

156
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,320
Speaker 1: relationships casually? I was like, oh, like I went scubadizing

157
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,760
Speaker 1: with my girlfriend like a couple of years ago, so

158
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,960
Speaker 1: it wasn't ever. But you never so you never bring

159
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,120
Speaker 1: up past experiences with exes.

160
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,520
Speaker 2: It depends on this scenario.

161
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,800
Speaker 3: But like why should I You are my whole world

162
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,240
Speaker 3: and you'll always do my whole world, not nothing else matters.

163
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:25,840
Speaker 2: I don't remember those past experiences. You don't memory is gone,

164
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,040
Speaker 2: don't don't ask, don't remember.

165
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:34,160
Speaker 3: I don't even look at other women, right, I don't

166
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:40,040
Speaker 3: know Sophia was there, you know what I mean. It's

167
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:44,640
Speaker 3: it's like it's like, uh, your income you don't be

168
00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:49,840
Speaker 3: talking about your income with people, right, I guess.

169
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:55,040
Speaker 1: I think transparency in all things is good. But I

170
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,760
Speaker 1: I do remember I was dating this girl, and I like,

171
00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:01,720
Speaker 1: I just I talk about past like past experiences with exes,

172
00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,920
Speaker 1: because it like it comes up not like in gross

173
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,960
Speaker 1: detail of spicy sleep stuff, but just like, oh, like

174
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,360
Speaker 1: we I went to like the Netherlands with this action

175
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,760
Speaker 1: and we saw blah blah blah blah.

176
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,200
Speaker 3: But if you were with your current girlfriend and you

177
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,280
Speaker 3: arrive at like you arrive in the Netherlands and she's like,

178
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,760
Speaker 3: oh my god, me and my ex Jimmy used to

179
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:21,720
Speaker 3: come here all the time.

180
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,480
Speaker 2: What are you gonna say? Oh, where places did you go?

181
00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:27,200
Speaker 2: Let's hit up.

182
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:32,880
Speaker 4: And her exes mister beast dude, bro, he's got his

183
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,400
Speaker 4: videos are better than yours.

184
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:38,920
Speaker 3: Like I'd be like, okay, well this is no longer special,

185
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,720
Speaker 3: but let's just go ahead and carry on. I don't know,

186
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:45,160
Speaker 3: I feel like is that necessary to bring up if

187
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,120
Speaker 3: you don't have to.

188
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,600
Speaker 1: I think there are certain so you bring it up

189
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,960
Speaker 1: with them casually. But yeah, I feel like there certain

190
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,280
Speaker 1: centeris comes at casually. And also like if you went

191
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:55,920
Speaker 1: with a friend just like a platonic friend, you'd be like, oh,

192
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,640
Speaker 1: like me and my friend went here, which is why

193
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,360
Speaker 1: she just say a friend.

194
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,520
Speaker 3: No, because if you say a friend, if she asked,

195
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,000
Speaker 3: have you ever been here before and you've only been

196
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,520
Speaker 3: here with like a girl? Yeah, Dan, you say, yeah,

197
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,160
Speaker 3: I was here with like yeah with X by X.

198
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,800
Speaker 3: But you shouldn't say a friend if you know it

199
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:19,440
Speaker 3: wasn't just a friend. Come on Sam, When he says

200
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,520
Speaker 3: it's because.

201
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:25,520
Speaker 1: I bring up exes so much, why it really does though,

202
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:26,840
Speaker 1: Why he really does.

203
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:31,640
Speaker 2: Because I've done so many things with exes. They were

204
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,360
Speaker 2: like best friends for a period of time. Yes, if

205
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,400
Speaker 2: it works, I don't know.

206
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,560
Speaker 3: I've never brought up with X and it's turned out

207
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,800
Speaker 3: to be like a great conversation.

208
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe that this is a learning moment.

209
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,920
Speaker 4: I feel like here, here's what it is on the spectrum,

210
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,680
Speaker 4: Like you're you're like share everything. I'm kind of like

211
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,280
Speaker 4: more in the middle where like me and my girlfriend

212
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:55,880
Speaker 4: will well like if the conversation kind of like revolves

213
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,160
Speaker 4: around it, we might be like, oh, this happens is whatever,

214
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,400
Speaker 4: But it's like very light and casual and you're like us,

215
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:02,640
Speaker 4: how would.

216
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:07,079
Speaker 3: Sad where you are if it comes up naturally. Sure,

217
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,960
Speaker 3: but I don't. If I'm eating something and I know

218
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,120
Speaker 3: I've had it with an ex, I don't think to myself,

219
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,240
Speaker 3: I shouldn't mention I've had this with my ex.

220
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,920
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I'm not the one.

221
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,840
Speaker 1: Stuff like that, But that's only if you're saying comes

222
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:21,559
Speaker 1: up naturally.

223
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:25,400
Speaker 3: Sam's looking thinking back up all the times he said something.

224
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,640
Speaker 2: No X dog anymore. He takes like fifteen trips this year.

225
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:37,200
Speaker 1: Recently, my friend Emily divorced with her husband. Emily was

226
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,960
Speaker 1: my best friend since childhood. We are from the same

227
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,240
Speaker 1: town and also close to my wife. We all live

228
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,880
Speaker 1: in the same town. Emily and her husband were also

229
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,760
Speaker 1: part of our church. My wife and I let Emily

230
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,360
Speaker 1: move into her house while her husband moved out. My

231
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,560
Speaker 1: wife and I have been helping Emily with some household

232
00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:57,240
Speaker 1: stuff and getting her life in order. This sometimes involves

233
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,120
Speaker 1: her calling us in the evening to take care of

234
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,160
Speaker 1: some stuff or help with the kids.

235
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:01,880
Speaker 2: Why.

236
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,880
Speaker 1: My wife mentioned to me that she's a bit uncomfortable

237
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,080
Speaker 1: with me spending alone time with Emily because now she

238
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,480
Speaker 1: is single. However, she understands Emily is like family to

239
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,480
Speaker 1: me and wants me to help her and her kids

240
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,400
Speaker 1: in her time of need. So my wife asked me

241
00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:21,280
Speaker 1: if Emily and I have ever been intimate together in

242
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:21,760
Speaker 1: the past.

243
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,840
Speaker 2: They're like family, but like Alabama family, Alabama family. Yeah,

244
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,800
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure this is an episode of One Tree Hill.

245
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,240
Speaker 3: I'm ninety two percent sure this is a script out

246
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,679
Speaker 3: of One Tree Hill, and I'm loving every second.

247
00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:34,000
Speaker 1: So she knows we'd never dated, but she wants to

248
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:38,240
Speaker 1: know if we ever kissed. The truth is Emily and

249
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:43,400
Speaker 1: I were friends with benefits for almost three years until

250
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,600
Speaker 1: I started therapy. Emily and I always kept it a

251
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,319
Speaker 1: secret and never told anyone.

252
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:55,120
Speaker 2: Yo, wait three years, three year? But when in the

253
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,040
Speaker 2: timeline is that three years?

254
00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,600
Speaker 1: It's it was three right before he started therapy and

255
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,079
Speaker 1: like turned his life to celibacy.

256
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,600
Speaker 2: But this was injuring college.

257
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:07,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, this was when he was still like fra Yeah,

258
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,640
Speaker 1: I am a change man now and intend to stay

259
00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:11,960
Speaker 1: loyal to my wife until I die. I told my

260
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,360
Speaker 1: wife that is irrelevant and I am a loyal husband

261
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,320
Speaker 1: and cannot believe she would think I would be attracted Emily.

262
00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:20,720
Speaker 1: I did offer to her that I will not hang out. Yeah,

263
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,080
Speaker 1: I would not be attracted to Emily. We were just friends.

264
00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:26,040
Speaker 2: With benefits. She's super ugly.

265
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,840
Speaker 3: Go I am a loyal sound like a politician. I

266
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:32,040
Speaker 3: am a loyal man till death do usupport. It's like, yeah,

267
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,200
Speaker 3: did you sound a contract?

268
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:33,480
Speaker 2: We know?

269
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:36,559
Speaker 1: I did offer to her that I will not hang

270
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,600
Speaker 1: out with Emily alone and only go to her place

271
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,120
Speaker 1: when my wife is with me. My wife did not

272
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,320
Speaker 1: like me dodging the question and kept on prodding. I

273
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:47,280
Speaker 1: invoked our don't ask, don't tell policy that we have

274
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,320
Speaker 1: followed for more than ten years now. My wife is

275
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:51,920
Speaker 1: upset at me that I am not giving her a

276
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,320
Speaker 1: straight answer. On the other hand, feel that it is

277
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:57,199
Speaker 1: unfair to me to tell her about Emily now when

278
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,680
Speaker 1: she forbade to talk about it all these years. I

279
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,720
Speaker 1: know that there's a good possibility that my wife would

280
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:05,240
Speaker 1: again freak out after knowing the truth and most probably

281
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:09,040
Speaker 1: asked me to never see Emily again. I wanted opinions

282
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,080
Speaker 1: on what I should do in this case. Am I

283
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,600
Speaker 1: wrong to keep the truth from my wife because we

284
00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:15,640
Speaker 1: made a promise to never bring it up in the past,

285
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,800
Speaker 1: which is horrible when I think about it now. Or

286
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,160
Speaker 1: is my wife and the wrong to break our policy

287
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,600
Speaker 1: by asking me about Emily there are additional comments and

288
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,800
Speaker 1: a big juicy update. But do you who do you

289
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,200
Speaker 1: think is in the wrong here? Who is the ale?

290
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:32,080
Speaker 2: He's not breaking the policy. She's asking and he's.

291
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:36,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, telling yeah, exactly, it's don't ask, don't it's Clinton?

292
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I did have sexual relationship policy and he didn't

293
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:42,000
Speaker 3: have relationships.

294
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,520
Speaker 4: It's her name Monica, whoa he's saying.

295
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,840
Speaker 2: First of all, he's talking about his wife like she's.

296
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:55,240
Speaker 3: A baff member at a company, invoking policies and like

297
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,160
Speaker 3: that like a huge chap.

298
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,680
Speaker 1: It's also when you make it like rules subject to

299
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,480
Speaker 1: change within your marriage if you both discuss on it,

300
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:03,880
Speaker 1: and like.

301
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:06,680
Speaker 3: You bro, look at the constitution. They should probably update that.

302
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:11,840
Speaker 3: But that's besides the point. Like I think being truthful,

303
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:16,280
Speaker 3: honest to your wife is stomps everything. It doesn't matter

304
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,440
Speaker 3: what you know what I mean, that's a mind the

305
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,680
Speaker 3: wrong for not being truthful to her, like yes, you know, I.

306
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:26,200
Speaker 1: Think if she's asking, you should yeah, or I'm sure

307
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:28,400
Speaker 1: that's your wife.

308
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,120
Speaker 2: At a minimum.

309
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,000
Speaker 4: If he said, like I am going to tell you

310
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,720
Speaker 4: you might you might not like the answer.

311
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,080
Speaker 2: Do you still want to know? Yes? So there's like

312
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,720
Speaker 2: a warning of like, hey, you might not like what

313
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:38,320
Speaker 2: you hear.

314
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:42,960
Speaker 1: Because he because just remember she was a virgin beforehand,

315
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:49,320
Speaker 1: damn right before this, before their marriage. And also and

316
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:53,040
Speaker 1: also what her question is is not were you were

317
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,640
Speaker 1: you like raw dogging it on the rag for three years?

318
00:15:55,640 --> 00:16:00,080
Speaker 1: It was have you ever kissed? Like just for a

319
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,400
Speaker 1: like like, I'm not saying you shouldn't tell the truth,

320
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,840
Speaker 1: but just know that the truth that he is about

321
00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:10,240
Speaker 1: to tell is probably way more than what she is expected.

322
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,360
Speaker 4: To warn her and then give her the option be like, Hey,

323
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,640
Speaker 4: you might not like the answer, do you still want

324
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:15,800
Speaker 4: to know?

325
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,600
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you everything you want.

326
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,640
Speaker 1: To hear, which is why I think you should tell

327
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:22,359
Speaker 1: your partner everything, all the gory details about.

328
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:25,160
Speaker 2: Your all your axes. Yes, you should talk about all

329
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,040
Speaker 2: your exes with your on.

330
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:31,560
Speaker 3: I mean, let's start now. So first of all, I

331
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,960
Speaker 3: want to say this is not financial advice. Second to

332
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,520
Speaker 3: protect advice, dating advice. I'm not an expert. I just

333
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:38,440
Speaker 3: simply know everything.

334
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:38,840
Speaker 2: Yep.

335
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:43,480
Speaker 3: I'll say this for me. When I got into my relationship,

336
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,440
Speaker 3: I made an effort the first three months to be

337
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:50,320
Speaker 3: as honest and as myself as possible. You know, when

338
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:54,440
Speaker 3: you start dating someone, you kind of adjust to be

339
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,040
Speaker 3: the perfect boyfriend, so like.

340
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,160
Speaker 2: Trying to impress them and right like they say you don't.

341
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,400
Speaker 3: And it can be small things like I don't like olives,

342
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:04,080
Speaker 3: but I don't like scary movies, but she likes scared movies.

343
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,919
Speaker 2: Let's say let's gonna see a scary movie.

344
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,680
Speaker 3: You might say, yeah, sure, although you don't really want

345
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,159
Speaker 3: to go see me because you want to, you know.

346
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,480
Speaker 3: Cater I played the game of no, I don't watch that.

347
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:19,600
Speaker 3: I was so like myself anti, just so honest. I

348
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,800
Speaker 3: told her I was scared of commitment. I was like,

349
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,920
Speaker 3: she's gonna love me at my fucking stealth one hundred

350
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,720
Speaker 3: percent that way when.

351
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:34,320
Speaker 1: The dishonest, I was honest for the first three months.

352
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:42,199
Speaker 2: And then bring Wow, there's no surprises, right Yeah, but

353
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,399
Speaker 2: it's under promise, over del over delivered. That's what that is.

354
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,080
Speaker 2: So I think you should always be honest.

355
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 3: But in this scenario, like bro, he's gotta tell her,

356
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,640
Speaker 3: he can't don't ask, don't tell?

357
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I I I think definitely tell in this

358
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:02,480
Speaker 1: specific situation she's asking tell. But you can kind of

359
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,960
Speaker 1: give a preamble where it's like, hey, we do have history.

360
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,400
Speaker 2: How much do you want to know for sure? Because

361
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:10,359
Speaker 2: talk about how you package it.

362
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, the same thing can be said, you you yeah,

363
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:18,040
Speaker 3: you know, it's like package information however you think the

364
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,760
Speaker 3: person's gonna receive it best.

365
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 2: Ye, you know.

366
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:25,639
Speaker 3: Like I've even noticed with with me, how different me

367
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,879
Speaker 3: and my fiance receive information. Like I'm like a tough

368
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 3: love kind of person. Like if I'm having a bad day,

369
00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:35,600
Speaker 3: she'll text me and be like, it's gonna be fine,

370
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,840
Speaker 3: like you work really hard, like just know you it's

371
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 3: so can have bad days and that shouldn't work with me.

372
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:46,040
Speaker 3: My best Friendio will text me saying stop being a I'm.

373
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,360
Speaker 2: Like, you're right. Yeah. Then when my fiance is having

374
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,520
Speaker 2: a bad day, I would give him my.

375
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,520
Speaker 3: You know well it was it was like you'll be fine,

376
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,600
Speaker 3: like you have a great job and foot on the

377
00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:01,680
Speaker 3: table like stop complaining. Did not go well, But then

378
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:05,400
Speaker 3: I learned, oh, I need to learn give her her antidete,

379
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,480
Speaker 3: which is I'd be okay whatever. So he just has

380
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,760
Speaker 3: to understand what's the best way to package that information

381
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:12,280
Speaker 3: for her.

382
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 2: I just give it to her.

383
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's there. I learned this in one

384
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 1: of my last relationships where she had like, she spoken

385
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,119
Speaker 1: a completely different language to how I spoke. She's spoken

386
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,560
Speaker 1: more like spiritual language, and I spoke in more like

387
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:28,080
Speaker 1: concrete language. And I learned to tell the truth as

388
00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:30,600
Speaker 1: she needed to hear it in terms of like the

389
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,919
Speaker 1: language that she used, rather than the truth as my

390
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:38,680
Speaker 1: mind constructed it as like these are the parameters and stuff. Yeah,

391
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,080
Speaker 1: it's just like packaging information.

392
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:41,879
Speaker 2: Based on who you're talking to, you know.

393
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 1: But getting back to the comment, so commentary, you're the

394
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,639
Speaker 1: a hole dude, use common sense. You let a friend

395
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 1: that used to sleep with move in to your home

396
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,920
Speaker 1: if you didn't see it becoming a problem, Opie responded,

397
00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,879
Speaker 1: that was fourteen years ago when we did that.

398
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,439
Speaker 2: Hold on, this is them talking, this is this is

399
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 2: a commentary on the post.

400
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,880
Speaker 3: Oh I thought he was recounting a customers life.

401
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,440
Speaker 2: I was like, yo, this is some juice.

402
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, okay, we are going to get into some

403
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,920
Speaker 1: juice though, and Opie responds, that was fourteen years ago

404
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,880
Speaker 1: when we did that. We were kids compared to now,

405
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 1: and I do not think that was relevant. Moreover, my

406
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 1: wife never wants me to talk about my dark face,

407
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 1: and has reiterated that to me over all these years,

408
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,119
Speaker 1: she wants to keep up the illusion that I am

409
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:30,360
Speaker 1: a religious fellow. She's married who she plans to go

410
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,480
Speaker 1: to heaven with, which I feel like is a red flag.

411
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 2: That's not your man's. Yeah, I feel like you actually

412
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,560
Speaker 2: don't love your person.

413
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're supposed to love that person for everything they've

414
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,040
Speaker 3: been and everything they are.

415
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,840
Speaker 2: You don't love the illusion of them. Yeah, they should

416
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 2: have they ohp, he should have sammed it.

417
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 4: I was raw dogging in every single woman in town,

418
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 4: and that is literally all you talk about. And then

419
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 4: if she still is like, yes, I went to a

420
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:00,120
Speaker 4: newdest community.

421
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,200
Speaker 2: You didn't fill in the gaps, then then you're good.

422
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 2: Then she's gonna stay with you.

423
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 3: Is this still about the guy or feel like it's

424
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 3: about someone else?

425
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:16,920
Speaker 2: They'll stay He'll stay with her work. I promise. Let's

426
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,600
Speaker 2: get into this update. No comment from the site.

427
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 1: So update I post a few days ago regarding not

428
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 1: telling my wife that my best friend and I were

429
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,000
Speaker 1: friends with benefits a long time ago. I did this

430
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,159
Speaker 1: because my wife did not want to know about my

431
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 1: horrible past, and we had a don't ask, don't tell

432
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 1: policy in our marriage. I thank all of you for

433
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:36,879
Speaker 1: your comments and confirming what I already knew in my

434
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 1: in my mind, lying to my wife and keeping my

435
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 1: past from her was never my intention. But we have

436
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,439
Speaker 1: been married for ten years now and did I and

437
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 1: I did not risk losing my wife's trust and respect

438
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 1: over something that happened fourteen years ago. But the longer

439
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 1: you keep it away, the more trust and respect that

440
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 1: you are going to a road.

441
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 2: That's true.

442
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:01,159
Speaker 1: And I talked to my wife with the weekend. The

443
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 1: truth was far more horrible than what I wrote in

444
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 1: the previous post.

445
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 2: Shut the up the truth. He wasn't even honest with us.

446
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 2: He wasn't even honest with us.

447
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 3: This motherfucker don't ask, don't tell policy. It would apply

448
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 3: to us too. Yes, that is personal. We're asking last

449
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 3: name on here. I need government ID. Let's talk tracking

450
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 3: you down to figure this out. I sat my wife.

451
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,640
Speaker 1: Down and told her that I want to come clean

452
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,679
Speaker 1: and tell her everything. I told her that I have

453
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,959
Speaker 1: some conditions though. Firstly, I will not give a yes

454
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,360
Speaker 1: or no answer to her questions, and she will have

455
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,320
Speaker 1: to listen to all.

456
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:43,120
Speaker 2: The gory details.

457
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,359
Speaker 1: She can judge me, but she has to know I

458
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 1: am not the man I was at the time. I

459
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:53,359
Speaker 1: was a horrible, morally bankrupt person before she met me.

460
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 1: But through God, family and therapy, I have overcome my

461
00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:01,639
Speaker 1: demons and work every day to repent myself. Secondly, she

462
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,879
Speaker 1: will have to answer questions about her feelings truthfully to

463
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 1: me after she hears about my past. She agreed, I

464
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 1: told her the truth about Emily and me. Emily and

465
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: I were friends since high school. While I went to college,

466
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 1: Emily stayed home and started a job. She was dating

467
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 1: my friend Josh since high school. I discovered a whole

468
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 1: new world in college and found myself drawn to behaviors

469
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:32,119
Speaker 1: that I knew were against God's will, including engaging in

470
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 1: sexual relationships with multiple partners at a time. It was

471
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 1: like a game for me.

472
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 2: Wow.

473
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,119
Speaker 1: Once I was visiting my parents of her break and

474
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,480
Speaker 1: Emily was curious about my college life. I described my

475
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 1: sexual experience to her and she kept asking more and

476
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 1: more questions. One thing led to another, and we started

477
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 1: sleeping together. Josh and Emily were saving themselves for marriage

478
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 1: and waiting for Josh to get a steady job. This

479
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,560
Speaker 1: lasted for three years.

480
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,880
Speaker 3: Hold On, hold on, I don't know if I understood

481
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 3: that correctly. Emily is the friend the friends of benefits.

482
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 3: She was married to this guy, Josh.

483
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,679
Speaker 1: I don't know if we actually know. We have just

484
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 1: in a relationship right now. It says recently, my friend

485
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 1: Emily divorced with her husband. I don't know if we

486
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 1: know yet that Josh is her husband.

487
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,639
Speaker 3: Okay, but while she was dating someone, this guy, she

488
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 3: was saving herself, but she was hooking up with.

489
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,360
Speaker 2: Yes, god damn, yeah, yeah, yeah.

490
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:37,120
Speaker 3: It's this ain't one tree hill this this, this is.

491
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 2: Reddit this Yes, that's all right.

492
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:45,359
Speaker 1: This lasted for three years, and Emily and I hooked

493
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 1: up every time I visited home.

494
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 2: It was our little dirty.

495
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 1: When I finally decided to seek help, I informed Emily

496
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 1: about it. She made me promise to never talk about

497
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 1: our fling to anyone. I felt guilty never telling the

498
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 1: truth to Josh, but he broke up with Josh soon after,

499
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,679
Speaker 1: so it's not the husband. I rediscovered my spirituality and

500
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 1: recognized the importance of repentance and recognition of my personal sin.

501
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,439
Speaker 1: Since then, I've lived a very disciplined life, and I've

502
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 1: been a loyal husband to my wife.

503
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 3: Keeps going back to that leg bro, It's like, yeah,

504
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 3: I'm so this girl.

505
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Emily was one of the virgins he

506
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 1: tried telling her about.

507
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,959
Speaker 2: Probably probably bo.

508
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,240
Speaker 3: Wait, so this girl is dating a guy, not sleeping

509
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,479
Speaker 3: with him, because she's saying I'm waiting till marriage, and

510
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 3: she's hooking up with this other guy.

511
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,200
Speaker 2: That's that's for three years.

512
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is in a relationship for three years, not

513
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 4: sleeping together, and then she's getting it front.

514
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: But it doesn't count if the other guy isn't following God.

515
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 1: It's like it's like fake whoa, yeah, yeah, if you're

516
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 1: hooking up with someone who's who's not in the church,

517
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 1: it's like it doesn't even count.

518
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:59,159
Speaker 2: Actually, no, it's like it's like the butt stuff loophole.

519
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:02,199
Speaker 1: Yea, it's the butt stuff. Literally, if you have with

520
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 1: garbage or in your eyes, garbage, then it doesn't it

521
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:05,880
Speaker 1: doesn't count.

522
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 2: I was like garbage, garbage.

523
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 1: Anyways, Amy had tears in her eyes, and I really

524
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: was scared that she would leave me after hearing about

525
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 1: my horrible past. However, she told me that she still

526
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: stands by the fact that she cares about my present

527
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 1: and my future and would never judge me. She said

528
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 1: that God, in his infinite mercy, did not abandon me

529
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 1: My wife assured me that she loves me and always will.

530
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: She trusts me, but just wanted to know about Emily

531
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: since things have changed now. I asked her if any

532
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:38,439
Speaker 1: of my actions suggested that I was disloyal and why Emily.

533
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 1: She told me that when Emily's husband's affair came to light,

534
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:46,160
Speaker 1: it was very shocking how such an upstanding, god fearing

535
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 1: man would have a year's long affair with his coworker

536
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,960
Speaker 1: and father a child out of wedlock.

537
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:58,360
Speaker 2: He Emily's husband had an affair. Whoa so bad? That sucks?

538
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 2: Oh my god? Oh what goes around comes around a car.

539
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 1: This was not an isolated incident, as we had similar

540
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,400
Speaker 1: incidents happen in our church during the last few years. Man,

541
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 1: I don't know if this church is doing the best job.

542
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 1: Amy told me that it just shook her to the core.

543
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 1: Amy was the one who suggested Emily and the kids

544
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,159
Speaker 1: move in with us until her husband moved out of

545
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:27,679
Speaker 1: their family home. Emily only stayed with us for a week.

546
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,919
Speaker 1: Emily started calling us a lot as we supported her

547
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 1: through this rough time. However, it bothered my wife that

548
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:37,400
Speaker 1: Emily would just call me during evenings and after work

549
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 1: after her kids were went to sleep for support. We

550
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,479
Speaker 1: would sit and talk for thirty to forty five minutes,

551
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: and I would leave. The final straw was a week

552
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 1: ago when we all went to the park with Emily's

553
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 1: kids and I was chasing them while my wife and

554
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 1: Emily were talking. Emily told me my wife that I

555
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,640
Speaker 1: would one day be a great father and how much

556
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 1: I love her kids. She told my wife to start

557
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,679
Speaker 1: trying harder to have kids so that we can complete

558
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 1: our family and hopefully God would make me a father soon.

559
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 1: My wife has struggled with infertility issues and despite trying

560
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:18,000
Speaker 1: every medical procedure, God has still not blessed us with

561
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 1: a child. I suggested adoption, but my wife says that

562
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 1: God will hear our prayers and we just have to

563
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 1: try as hard as we can.

564
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,120
Speaker 2: Oh, he's trying hard.

565
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 3: It's like you can't just put everything on that. At

566
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 3: some point you got to be accountable as well. Well.

567
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 2: It's like that. It's like that classic parable of like.

568
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 1: There's a flood coming and I'm on top of my

569
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 1: house and I'm like God will save me. And then

570
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 1: there's like a boat that comes, like God will save me,

571
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 1: a helicopter that comes God will save me, and then

572
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 1: the guy dies and it's like.

573
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 2: Yo, I sent a helicopter in a boat. What more

574
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 2: than you want?

575
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 3: Well, did she know that the wife had infertility issues?

576
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 3: I don't think so, she like planting some Honestly, I

577
00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 3: think you might be right.

578
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,479
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, Okay, I'm gonna tell you how this goes. Right,

579
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 2: I'm tired this goes by to talk to me.

580
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 3: I think she moved in that house and she's trying

581
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 3: to get the guy back. So she's now planting ideas

582
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 3: in the wife's mind to cause issues in the relationship.

583
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 2: Or sister wife situation. What state is this? Yeah? Are

584
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 2: we talking Utah? It could be that kind of church.

585
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,239
Speaker 2: I'm gonna find out. I don't know. I don't know.

586
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: That's also to all of our Mormon fans. We know

587
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 1: you all aren't like that. It's only the red neck

588
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 1: on the hills.

589
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 2: Not all of you.

590
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 1: We actually had a Mormon fan come on in our

591
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, in our episode last week.

592
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 2: I love that.

593
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 3: Not well, I just I grew up on different continents,

594
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 3: so I've always been in positions where everyone is so

595
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 3: different than me. So I love when people are so different.

596
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 3: I almost feel like it's weird on everyone. Like when

597
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 3: I was lived in West Virginia and everybody was the

598
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 3: same and lived there and went to school there and

599
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 3: worked there and probably kind of died. I thought that

600
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 3: was But when I meet people who are fully different,

601
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 3: I'm so interested curious.

602
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: Why do you think, Well, it just yeah, I feel

603
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 1: like it's uh, it's like reading a book that you

604
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:18,719
Speaker 1: haven't read yet.

605
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, oh, this is exciting, the world beautiful.

606
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 2: That's why you come to a show as diverse as

607
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 2: this one.

608
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 1: Also, let's see who brings up surrogacy first. Oh, so

609
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 1: she's like, hey, I'll be your surrogate and we don't

610
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: need to go through all like the hard.

611
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 2: Stud medical expensive. That's not how God intended it. Amen. Amen,

612
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 2: kind of get an amen. Amen, there we go. There's

613
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 2: no way she does. Let's see.

614
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 1: Amy said that her discussion with Emily made her feel

615
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 1: incomplete and bad and she is not able to make

616
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 1: me a father. Her head started spiraling, and she started

617
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 1: thinking that since I love Emily the kids and Emily

618
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 1: is now single, I might leave her to go to Emily.

619
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 1: That was the reason she wanted to know if Emily

620
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 1: and I were ever romantically involved. I assured Amy that

621
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 1: I would never betray her and she is enough for me.

622
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 1: It was a very emotional time to see her feel

623
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 1: bad about things she cannot control. I am also to blame,

624
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: as I am sure God is punishing her for my

625
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 1: sins in the past. Bro what However, I intend to

626
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 1: be loyal to the woman who literally saved me and

627
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 1: be the best husband possible. I again thank you all

628
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 1: for being frank and straightforward and helping me to tell

629
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 1: my wife about my past. And there are some relevant

630
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 1: comments and some responses from OP to close this story out.

631
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: But how do we think, like if we were to

632
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 1: predict what would happen next, what are we feeling is

633
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: going to happen between OP, Emily and Amy?

634
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 2: You going to jail? I'm with Kevin.

635
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 4: I think that Emily is like I want OP yes,

636
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 4: and she is just sowing seeds of doubt.

637
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels a little like that. But let's read

638
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 1: these relevant comments.

639
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 3: She's in that house, she's missing her man's Let me

640
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 3: tell you what she's missing.

641
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 2: She's a lot.

642
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,719
Speaker 3: She's her husband left her and that felt like her

643
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 3: ultimate karma punishment. Whatever she's seeing this guy she used

644
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 3: to have a fleeming for three years now, older, mature, loyal, marriage,

645
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 3: loyal and playing with her kids exactly. The kids love him.

646
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,959
Speaker 2: She you know what she's thinking. She's thinking or maybe

647
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 2: that could still be me? Could there it is, it'll

648
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 2: be me.

649
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 1: So a commenter says, I think it might be time

650
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 1: to take a step back from your friendship with Emily.

651
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 1: Her actions are shady, calling you after work every night

652
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 1: telling your wife how much you love her kids, and

653
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: Opie responds, I had already decided to do that, as

654
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,959
Speaker 1: my wife feels uncomfortable with the situation. Her comfort is

655
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 1: more important to me than friends. And then a commenter says,

656
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 1: are you still friends with job oh Pe responds, no,

657
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 1: I cut contact with a lot of people after I

658
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: started therapy. I wronged him and felt guilty to be

659
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 1: around him. However, I never told what happened because of Emily.

660
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: In fact, I had not thought about him in a

661
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 1: really long time until this weekend when talking about this

662
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: stuff to my wife. And then another commenter says, well,

663
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 1: imagine trying to be a better person while staying friends

664
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 1: with the girl you betrayed your friend with. And that

665
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 1: all brings us down to the question can you maintain

666
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 1: a relationship with your ex after you break up?

667
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 2: Well, we think this story didn't help the case.

668
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 4: But as our resident expert with friend expert, yeah, the X,

669
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 4: the psper the ex part.

670
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 2: That was good. Yeah, that was good. I'm I'm talking

671
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 2: to my ex right now. Of course you are. I

672
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 2: wouldn't put it past They're all in the stream right now.

673
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 3: Also, good job on reading that story. You do this

674
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 3: all the time, I'm sure, but that was fun. I

675
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 3: felt like I was a kid and like my mom

676
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 3: was reading me adime we've read.

677
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 2: I was reading you some weird bedtime.

678
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 3: And that's why we didn't have to Susan Africa.

679
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 2: We have to get by whatever we could. Oh my god,

680
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,280
Speaker 2: oh my god. Are you friends with any of your exes?

681
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 3: I'm cordial with all my exes, always always made an

682
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:36,760
Speaker 3: effort to leave on a good note, have good relationships,

683
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 3: But I wouldn't say I'm friends with any of them.

684
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 3: Like I I maybe my most prevalent ex like that

685
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 3: I dated for longuess I probably call her maybe like every.

686
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,720
Speaker 1: Years, long time in between.

687
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I used to call her like every months to

688
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 3: a year when I was single, just to catch up.

689
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 3: So actually's doing like because these people did they play

690
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:07,880
Speaker 3: a big part of your life.

691
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 2: A huge puppy girl like for me too.

692
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,759
Speaker 3: I moved to America when I was like fifteen, and so,

693
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 3: you know, fifteen till twenty when I graduate college. A

694
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 3: lot of the people I met there like were a

695
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:25,719
Speaker 3: big part of I guess, my Americanization process. And so

696
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 3: I wanted to make sure like people feel like I'm

697
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 3: not just daring. But obviously, as I got into my

698
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 3: new relationship, I'm trying to be respectful of my current relationship,

699
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,319
Speaker 3: and so I don't keep up a call any of

700
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 3: my exits almost at all.

701
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, if I see a post somewhere, that don't.

702
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 3: Follow any But if I saw a post somewhere, I

703
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,800
Speaker 3: may comment, Like the last time I talked to my ex,

704
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 3: she was getting married and I commented like congratulations, like

705
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 3: super happy for ye oh object, I will say one

706
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 3: of my exes.

707
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 5: It's a long story, okay, so very no time for

708
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 5: it today.

709
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:13,359
Speaker 3: If I come back, I tell the story. There we go,

710
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 3: long story. And this is the first girl I fell

711
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 3: in love with when I was young, and you know,

712
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 3: my first love is always important to and uh, we

713
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 3: went to college, we of we not broke up, but

714
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 3: we just kind of were like work in different places.

715
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:35,919
Speaker 3: Started seeing this other guy, and this guy just king

716
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 3: hated me. I think he saw that, like we were

717
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 3: always kind of talking, laughing whatever and to the end.

718
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 3: But they got married on my birthday and one day

719
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 3: I'll come on tell the full story, but out of

720
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 3: three hundred and sixty five king days, they're getting married.

721
00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 3: It felt personal And the reason why I did is

722
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 3: because me and the girl used to have this running

723
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 3: joke when I was in college that if when, if

724
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,319
Speaker 3: she ever got married to someone else, I would show

725
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 3: up to the wedding and object.

726
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 2: It was like a big joke we had.

727
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:17,240
Speaker 3: It was multi layer joke, and her current my husband

728
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 3: knew about the joke, and so I feel like has

729
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 3: way up saying you to me was was like I'm

730
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 3: gonna get married on Kevin's birthday.

731
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 2: Did you try to show up? No? No, you should have.

732
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 2: You should have busted in the door, and me like,

733
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 2: happy birthday to me. I don't need to object to nothing.

734
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 2: Come with okay, birthday, dancer, come out of.

735
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:48,440
Speaker 3: The I think the stronger statement for me is always

736
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:51,760
Speaker 3: not even saying, bro.

737
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 2: This is what you should have done right? Are you ready?

738
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,800
Speaker 2: Planned your birthday at the venue?

739
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 4: They held the wedding app and just paid him like

740
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 4: a crazy amount, so that way like and then you'd

741
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 4: be like, oh, how crazy is this?

742
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 3: But you know the only thing with that is that

743
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 3: shows you still care, right. It means you're still at

744
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:13,959
Speaker 3: their mercy almost versus just.

745
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 2: Being like, okay, that's the right thing to do.

746
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:25,839
Speaker 3: But the petty chatty give me this idea. A few

747
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 3: years ago, before I became mature, I would have like, nah,

748
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,400
Speaker 3: I'm not doing walked away, booked the venue.

749
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 4: I I booked my uh ex's wedding venue for my birthday.

750
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 2: YouTube video dude banger.

751
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 1: Also to everyone, and some people have asked, who is

752
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,319
Speaker 1: this guy? Everyone who's new? This is Kevin Lang. He's

753
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 1: from the Kevin Lang shows. I check out check out

754
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: his YouTube channel. So he's gonna throw it in the chat.

755
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:57,800
Speaker 1: And also, if you are friends with your ex and

756
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 1: you are either still friends with your act or no

757
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:03,240
Speaker 1: longer friends with your exit, there's like a story about

758
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 1: you being friends with your ex, you should you should.

759
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: I hate that guy.

760
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 1: You should call us with Alo dm Riley on Discord

761
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:13,879
Speaker 1: and we'll bring you up on stage after this next

762
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 1: story you ready to talk to be sick?

763
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay. But to answer your question, can you can

764
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 2: you be friends your X? What do you think? First

765
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:21,800
Speaker 2: of all, because you're friends with everybody.

766
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:27,800
Speaker 1: That I I am friends with, I've tried to maintain

767
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 1: friendships with like as many ex'es as like.

768
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 2: What do you do? What's how do you define friendship?

769
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 1: I feel like I defined friendship as just making like

770
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 1: having their best interests at heart. Really, And do you

771
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 1: communicate with well, I mean it kind of depends. But

772
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 1: my last relationship, we broke up like maybe like a

773
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 1: year and a bit ago. We talk like she texted

774
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 1: me today, We've been We've been talking maybe every a

775
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 1: couple of months.

776
00:39:57,480 --> 00:39:57,880
Speaker 2: Okay.

777
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 1: But also, I don't know if I'm chatting with any

778
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,240
Speaker 1: I'm not chatting with any of my other.

779
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 4: Exes right now, like what you were saying. I think

780
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 4: it's like if something comes on up.

781
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:08,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

782
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:12,640
Speaker 3: And also the difference between being single talking with exes

783
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,959
Speaker 3: versus being in a relationship and talking with it, Yeah,

784
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 3: like that's very different.

785
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:21,800
Speaker 1: I don't think I I think I talked a little

786
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 1: bit like as I had like an ex and we

787
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 1: were like still close and then like she moved to

788
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 1: New York and I would like to catch up with

789
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 1: her every couple of months, but the next relationship started

790
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:33,960
Speaker 1: maybe like a month or two after that, and so

791
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,719
Speaker 1: that kind of petered out in terms of like just

792
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 1: like staying in touch.

793
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:42,440
Speaker 2: But I wasn't like a like a cold cutoff, right.

794
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, do you talk with your exes? I have no

795
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 4: exes to talk to? This is I have only had one. God,

796
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 4: I've only had one four year relationship.

797
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 2: That is it. That is it.

798
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 3: You're like the opposite of each other, like the literal opposite.

799
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 3: Bros got eighty seven exes and been dading your girl

800
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 3: eighty seven years.

801
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:05,360
Speaker 4: It's like, oh my god, it's big duo.

802
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm old. I'm the oldest one. Do you

803
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 2: want to hit this next story? Let's do it where

804
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,560
Speaker 2: we have to say another one. Oh yeah, you thought

805
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:18,240
Speaker 2: we were This is lift, this is over the fuck