Speaker 1: Hey there, welcome to the short stuff. I'm Josh. Hey there,
Speaker 1: I said, hey there for Chuck too. Go ahead and
Speaker 1: say hey they're Chuck.
Speaker 2: Hey there, that's our routine.
Speaker 1: Let's start.
Speaker 2: We're talking about routines today, and I think this is
Speaker 2: a good one because it's like everyone knows routines are
Speaker 2: good for you, but it turns out routines are great
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 1: You might even say they're great for you. You might
Speaker 1: even say, there, frosted flakes is a routine.
Speaker 2: You might even say they're crucial, and they are because
Speaker 2: they their game changes for almost every part of your life.
Speaker 2: You can think of mental health, physical health, emotional health,
Speaker 2: safety and security for children. We'll get into all this,
Speaker 2: but a repeated healthy pattern of behaviors to focus on
Speaker 2: helps us when we're off the rails and to solidify
Speaker 2: us when we feel unmoored. It helps buttress us when
Speaker 2: we feel solid. Yeah, there have been countless studies. I
Speaker 2: saw one from Tel Aviv University, but there are hundreds
Speaker 2: of studies of how routines and habits and we'll get
Speaker 2: into the diff Basically help you reduce anxiety, help you
Speaker 2: calm yourself, and just put you on a good path in.
Speaker 1: Life, which makes sense because what you're doing is creating
Speaker 1: something familiar that you can kind of bust out in
Speaker 1: times of uncertainty and give yourself familiarity, like a security blanket. Almost. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: it makes a lot of sense. And there's a huge
Speaker 1: routines are having a moment. You could say they're big
Speaker 1: right now, and I think it's very appropriate that you
Speaker 1: use the word game changer because that's the kind of
Speaker 1: attention it's getting right now. People use game changer are
Speaker 1: super into like figuring out routines and figuring out how
Speaker 1: they're like, how to perfectly optimize them, how to make
Speaker 1: them as essential as possible. And there is some actual
Speaker 1: like research and science to this. But you said that
Speaker 1: there's a difference between habits and routines. I disagree. I
Speaker 1: know some people say, no, they're actually different. I think
Speaker 1: they're the exact same thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you're sort of splitting hairs a bit.
Speaker 2: I've found some stuff that said basically that, and we
Speaker 2: should think, well, we got our sources from a lot
Speaker 2: of different places. Do you know some of them?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Northwestern med Parenting, University of Iowa. Real simple. There
Speaker 1: was a post by a guy named Brad Stolberg. I
Speaker 1: can't remember what side. I'll have to look it up,
Speaker 1: but yes, go ahead.
Speaker 2: Good stuff though, But I did see it broken down
Speaker 2: as The difference is that a habit is associated with
Speaker 2: a queue, like the queue to wash your hands would
Speaker 2: be that you have just used the bathroom and handled
Speaker 2: your private parts, and that a routine exists without that queue.
Speaker 2: It's not dependent on that queue. But I'm kind of
Speaker 2: with you. It's sort of splitting hairs.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I also think that routines are dependent on cues.
Speaker 1: I mean we talk about them later. Like if you
Speaker 1: have a workout routine in the morning, your queue is
Speaker 1: waking up in the morning and putting it on your
Speaker 1: exercise quoth. That's a cue. I don't think that they
Speaker 1: can exist without cues. There's because if they existed without cues,
Speaker 1: you would just suddenly randomly start like eating a healthy
Speaker 1: breakfast at like three in the morning, even though you
Speaker 1: were just sleeping a second ago. You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: So your que is being awake like you could you.
Speaker 1: Would basically, but you would you would just like you
Speaker 1: would just randomly engage in your routines. They have to
Speaker 1: be they're contingent upon some either time or place or
Speaker 1: something like that. There's cues with routines, and if a
Speaker 1: habit is something a behavior that you do that's based
Speaker 1: on a queue, then it's the same thing as a routine.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, let's just move on and say great, great,
Speaker 2: and talk more about routines and habits. One thing that
Speaker 2: they say is great about routines is that and I
Speaker 2: guess the idea idea here is that you have a
Speaker 2: certain amount of will power, and some people may have
Speaker 2: unlimited amounts, but I think the general person kind of
Speaker 2: taps out at a certain point and that if you've
Speaker 2: built a routine, you're not using that willpower of like,
Speaker 2: oh I gotta get up and go use my WheelPower
Speaker 2: to get up and go to the gym. Like if
Speaker 2: it's a part of your routine and you do it
Speaker 2: without fail when you wake up, then you're sort of
Speaker 2: on autopilot and that willpower is reserved for other things later.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just one less decision you have to make
Speaker 1: which allows you to suffer or put off the inevitable
Speaker 1: decision fatigue you're going to reach later on in the day.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, And I think decision fatigue is a real thing.
Speaker 2: They've proven that. So they say one thing to help
Speaker 2: out with routines is to cut down literally on just
Speaker 2: the decision making process, right, Like if you get super
Speaker 2: stressed in the morning picking out your outfit for work,
Speaker 2: just like narrow get rid of some stuff and narrow
Speaker 2: it down to like five or six things that you
Speaker 2: can wear.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just wear all black like that one be from Thanos,
Speaker 1: right or no, what was the name of that company?
Speaker 2: I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: Sana's to drop out Elizabeth?
Speaker 2: Oh sure, yeah, farahnose something like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she wore all black, and I think it was
Speaker 1: because she idolized Steve Jobs. But I think Steve Jobs
Speaker 1: wore all black because it was just he didn't You
Speaker 1: didn't need to decide, you just put on the black clothes.
Speaker 1: It didn't matter to Steve Jobs. He had other things
Speaker 1: to think about.
Speaker 2: All right, let's take a break. We'll talk about how
Speaker 2: to establish routines. Does that sound good?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: So to establish a routine, it's the same thing as
Speaker 1: establishing a habit because they're the same things. And that
Speaker 1: is that you basically figure out what you need to do,
Speaker 1: what you want to do, and you do it multiple
Speaker 1: times over and over, and there's all sorts of different
Speaker 1: studies about how many times it takes to make a
Speaker 1: habit or a routine stick. But there are definitely things
Speaker 1: that you can do to help the whole thing along.
Speaker 1: And one of them is that you can you can
Speaker 1: create cues for yourself, like you can. I can't remember
Speaker 1: which which sources came from, but they said, Okay, let's
Speaker 1: say you want to be a writer and you want
Speaker 1: to write more. Well, a good way to set up
Speaker 1: a routine would be to take your laptop to the
Speaker 1: same place every day in order. Oh it was you, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: so this was a great idea, Chuck, take your laptop
Speaker 1: to the same place every day. You you take your
Speaker 1: the same lunch with you every day, or in the
Speaker 1: same like lunch container or something like that, and you
Speaker 1: set up these cues I think they're called affordances, objects
Speaker 1: and surroundings that help queue your routine. And as you
Speaker 1: build this up and you start to make these associations
Speaker 1: in your mind, your routine will become more and more habitual. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And they've done research that says that pairing things together
Speaker 2: like this just makes for a stronger attempt at a routine.
Speaker 2: Like you said, you maybe doing the same thing every
Speaker 2: day or whatever, especially if it's productive because your body
Speaker 2: and your mind. Then say, hey, wait a minute, I
Speaker 2: got so much good writing done yesterday because I packed
Speaker 2: my turkey turkey sandwich in a lunch box and went
Speaker 2: to this part of the park to sit under that
Speaker 2: tree at noon with my laptop and my blue book bag.
Speaker 2: And I'm going to that work today, So I'm going
Speaker 2: to do it tomorrow. And then it's almost like tricking
Speaker 2: yourself in a way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is. It's like, so you're setting yourself up
Speaker 1: to eventually become like Reggie Jackson when he's activated in
Speaker 1: the Naked Gun and goes to kill the Queen.
Speaker 2: Must kill Nordberg.
Speaker 1: He didn't even think about it. He just did it
Speaker 1: because of the routine that was programmed in it, albeit
Speaker 1: without his knowledge because Reggie Jackson had never heard anybody,
Speaker 1: but you know, it was still virtually the same thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think another good thing to remember is
Speaker 2: that everyone's different and some people, like you, got to
Speaker 2: know yourself. Some people function great in the morning, some
Speaker 2: people function much better in the evening and at night.
Speaker 2: It seems like the middle of the day, no one
Speaker 2: does that great because research has kind of shown that
Speaker 2: we have different chronotypes and we are either larks or
Speaker 2: owls in general. I'm sure there are people out there
Speaker 2: that break this mold, but to know your body and know, like, hey,
Speaker 2: I'll some people know they're much better at like that
Speaker 2: morning workout or they would much rather go after work
Speaker 2: that evening and setting yourself up for that success is key.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's that's kind of part of a warning
Speaker 1: that Brad Stolberg gave. By the way, the site's called
Speaker 1: the growth Equation, but he was basically saying like, don't
Speaker 1: don't go and research routines and then try to make
Speaker 1: the routine. Make your life fit the routine, figure out
Speaker 1: how that routine's going to fit your life depending on
Speaker 1: when you're most active or when you're most productive or whatever.
Speaker 1: Like he said, basically, if you're trying to sell a
Speaker 1: routine that works for you to other people, you're going
Speaker 1: to run into a problem because not everybody's like anybody else,
Speaker 1: and routines need to adapt to the person. You need
Speaker 1: to make your routine work for you. If you find
Speaker 1: yourself working for a routine you're sucker.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, there's a lot of people out there right
Speaker 2: now that sell their ideas for routines, and they're like,
Speaker 2: shut up, Josh.
Speaker 1: Those are the people who say game changer.
Speaker 2: Right, and influencer and disruptor and all those other words.
Speaker 2: Kids and routines. I included this bit because it's just
Speaker 2: something that's become really evident to me as a parent.
Speaker 1: Well, it's so important too. I mean, like, routines are
Speaker 1: important for adults, but man, they are essential for kids.
Speaker 2: Essential for kids, extra extra essential for any kid with
Speaker 2: any kind of neurodiversity. They talk about routines just being critical.
Speaker 2: Kids love surprises when it's ice cream. Kids don't love
Speaker 2: surprises when it's hey, you're not going to school today,
Speaker 2: because well they probably love that. That's probably not a
Speaker 2: great example. But a routine that's disruptive it helps give
Speaker 2: the parent a sense of control and that power struggle.
Speaker 1: Parents love control over kids.
Speaker 2: It's crucial to get anything done. But you know, once
Speaker 2: that routine becomes established in theory, it takes away some
Speaker 2: of that battle. So if the routine is at the
Speaker 2: end of every night, you got to get the bathtub,
Speaker 2: you gotta brush your teeth, cut to use your bathroom,
Speaker 2: put on your jommies, and go to bed. That's the routine,
Speaker 2: and it's not questioned. You do that because your body
Speaker 2: has to be clean, your body has to be healthy.
Speaker 2: It's not up for debate. That stuff is still going
Speaker 2: to happen. But you're way better at having success there
Speaker 2: than if you're like, oh, let's just try this a
Speaker 2: couple of nights a week and see how it goes.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I can imagine that. Yeah, you're still going to
Speaker 1: get pushed back from time to time, but it's probably
Speaker 1: one time out of ten instead of nine times out
Speaker 1: of ten, or it may.
Speaker 2: Be ten times out of ten, but the battle is
Speaker 2: just easier one.
Speaker 1: Oh really, because you're like, it's the routine. Sorry, I
Speaker 1: can't do anything about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just speaking from the parent of a strong
Speaker 2: will child. It's just very rare that Ruby's just like great,
Speaker 2: I'll do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll let's go with the flow. Yeah, but can
Speaker 1: she say like why?
Speaker 2: No, she doesn't question why, and we've gotten pretty good
Speaker 2: at stomping her into submission.
Speaker 1: Did that come from Parenting Magazine?
Speaker 2: It did, Doctor Spock.
Speaker 1: So one of the things that you do want to
Speaker 1: remember with routines, whether you are it's a routine for
Speaker 1: your kid, it's a routine for you. You want to
Speaker 1: mix it up from time to time because your brain
Speaker 1: is very, very lazy, and that's why routines work. Our
Speaker 1: brains love shortcuts. Our brains love to not have to
Speaker 1: think about something. They want to think about something else,
Speaker 1: or think about nothing at all, going to default network mode.
Speaker 1: The thing is is when that happens, it actually has
Speaker 1: eventual impacts on your emotions. You feel boring, you feel
Speaker 1: like you're in a rut, you feel like your life
Speaker 1: is dull, and so there's routines take maintenance strangely to
Speaker 1: make them as effective as possible, and you also have
Speaker 1: to keep in mind what's coming down the pike. Like,
Speaker 1: for example, one of the best ways to completely run
Speaker 1: a routine off the rails is to go on vacation. Well,
Speaker 1: if you know you're going to go on vacation, you
Speaker 1: want to have a contingency plan for either carrying your
Speaker 1: routine into vacation, which is not crazy, like it's actually
Speaker 1: kind of healthy, or if you're like nope, vacation's vacation
Speaker 1: from everything, including routines. To have a plan to get
Speaker 1: back into your routine very quickly after you return, so
Speaker 1: several days don't go by because with each each day
Speaker 1: that passes, it makes it harder and harder to get
Speaker 1: back into that routine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and be smart about mixing up your routine. That
Speaker 2: doesn't mean if you've got a great workout plan that
Speaker 2: you completely change what you're doing. It could just be
Speaker 2: like I'm going to wear a completely different outfit than
Speaker 2: I normally do, or if it's my creative writing thing,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna pack a different lunch and a different container.
Speaker 2: Just little things like that can can move your brain
Speaker 2: in a better direction if you find yourself sort of
Speaker 2: on autopilot. Speaking of kids again, you know my daughter
Speaker 2: gets she's a kid that says out loud like I
Speaker 2: hate my same routine, Like I get bored doing the
Speaker 2: same stuff. Like routines are great for kids, but a
Speaker 2: little thing like taking a different route to school can
Speaker 2: make a big difference. Like just little changes like that.
Speaker 1: Plus, also, if you're afraid of being kidnapped, you should
Speaker 1: definitely take different routes all the time too. That's another
Speaker 1: good reason to mix up your routine. Absolutely, there's one
Speaker 1: more thing that you should mix up as far as
Speaker 1: routines go. In that is a workout routine, an exercise routine.
Speaker 1: For one, you can really overdo your muscles if you're
Speaker 1: working out the same groups over and over again, so.
Speaker 2: You gotta have legs day for sure.
Speaker 1: And then the other thing about it is you can
Speaker 1: actually like jumpstart all sorts of different things in your body,
Speaker 1: positive things by changing up your exercise routine, because again,
Speaker 1: your body gets used to it, find shortcuts, and you
Speaker 1: just don't get as much out of the same workout
Speaker 1: over and over again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, good stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, check on. I'm gonna go make a new routine.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is yet, but I'm going
Speaker 1: to figure it out and do it and I'll report
Speaker 1: back to you on it. Yeah.
Speaker 2: What's funny is we have our work routine that's very
Speaker 2: pretty much ingrained, and I am guilty of, Like when
Speaker 2: you've suggested different things that I'm like, no, yeah, no,
Speaker 2: I'm believes don't change this.
Speaker 1: I know what you mean. I feel very similar. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I haven't said that in years that you
Speaker 1: feel similar with me. No, No, that like we should
Speaker 1: change up our work routine.
Speaker 2: It's been a minute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, good stuff. Oh oh, sorry, Chuck's that
Speaker 1: good stuff everybody. That's the cue for our routine, which
Speaker 1: means short stuff is out.
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