1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,520
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, your og Okay

2
00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:05,880
Speaker 1: story Time podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy

3
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,640
Speaker 1: stories coming up. But if you want to hear that deliciousness,

4
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,799
Speaker 1: you know, just stick around for a two minute break

5
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,240
Speaker 1: with a word from our sponsors.

6
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:15,680
Speaker 2: My girlfriend's father refused to give me his blessing to

7
00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:18,800
Speaker 2: marry her even though we've been together for five years.

8
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,599
Speaker 2: Well you gotta be so rude. That's literally the plot

9
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:27,600
Speaker 2: of this song. February eleventh, twenty sixteen. Carl girlfriend's father

10
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:29,280
Speaker 2: because Carl.

11
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:35,120
Speaker 3: The Lama, Yes, Carl Belama.

12
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,800
Speaker 2: Some background. We have been in a relationship for five

13
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,920
Speaker 2: years and living together for four and this is the best,

14
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:45,440
Speaker 2: most satisfying relationship I have had in all my life.

15
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,360
Speaker 2: She works in the healthcare industry, and her kindness towards

16
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,120
Speaker 2: those in need and less privilege than her is what

17
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,440
Speaker 2: drew me to ask her out in the first place. Ah,

18
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,800
Speaker 2: that's beautiful. In the last four years between us, there

19
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,600
Speaker 2: have been some little fights and only one big fight.

20
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,760
Speaker 2: By the way, Hey, this comes from Phil said no

21
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,880
Speaker 2: or father in law. I said no. And if you

22
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:06,959
Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to our slash

23
00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,800
Speaker 2: Okay story Time Separate it so the fight happened in

24
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:14,160
Speaker 2: October twenty fourteen, two years before the start of this story.

25
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,399
Speaker 2: She planned for lunch with Carl, which I had to

26
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,640
Speaker 2: miss because of work related emergency. He called me later

27
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,840
Speaker 2: that night, saying that I don't show him the respect

28
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,800
Speaker 2: he deserves, and I'm always trying to get out of

29
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,880
Speaker 2: family events because I don't want to be around them,

30
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,240
Speaker 2: which is not true because half the planning and organizing

31
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,959
Speaker 2: on his birthday was on me and it was a

32
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,320
Speaker 2: big event. In the morning, I told girlfriend about his

33
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,600
Speaker 2: call and she brushed it off as him being intoxicated.

34
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,800
Speaker 2: The next weekend, when we went to our parents' place

35
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:45,880
Speaker 2: for family dinner, Carl was extremely hostile towards me, but

36
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:49,040
Speaker 2: I kept silent about it until he said that I

37
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,800
Speaker 2: should not have missed the lunch. Every other Sunday is

38
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,680
Speaker 2: family dinner at her folks place, and I rarely miss it,

39
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,480
Speaker 2: so I didn't think it was a big deal.

40
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,360
Speaker 3: Plus, what happens every other Sunday.

41
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,600
Speaker 2: Appens every other Sunday. I apologized to him and said

42
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,559
Speaker 2: that I would make up for it in some way.

43
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,080
Speaker 2: At the next dinner, I bought a bunch of smart

44
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:09,840
Speaker 2: wearable accessories for him because girlfriend suggested he was interested

45
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:13,519
Speaker 2: in them. He refused to accept the gift, and when

46
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,000
Speaker 2: I insisted, he walked out, saying he needs some air.

47
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,400
Speaker 4: When it comes to men in electronics, they need to

48
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,120
Speaker 4: come to their own conclusion about what electronics they need,

49
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,240
Speaker 4: thus they will buy it. My grandfather that does not

50
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,920
Speaker 4: have a cell phone mm hmm, found the tablet that

51
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,440
Speaker 4: he wanted and he bought it because he was like,

52
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,040
Speaker 4: this is the right choice for me. He didn't want

53
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,640
Speaker 4: anyone else to get it for him because he was like,

54
00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:33,800
Speaker 4: I need to make this decision.

55
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,480
Speaker 2: I need to do this. Everybody comes to time in

56
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:41,000
Speaker 2: a man's life, we need to bias electronics.

57
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,359
Speaker 3: Yep, it was on tablet.

58
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,560
Speaker 2: I had no idea what was going on, and girlfriend's

59
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,960
Speaker 2: mom was mortified, apologizing to me over and over again

60
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,360
Speaker 2: for Carl's behavior. When we got home, I asked girlfriend

61
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,560
Speaker 2: if there's something going on that she's not telling me.

62
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,120
Speaker 2: At first, she tried to brush it off, but then

63
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,000
Speaker 2: she said that it was my fault for not seeing

64
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,000
Speaker 2: that her father wasn't interested in being buddies and what

65
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:08,920
Speaker 2: did my respect not friendship? Gross? Okay, this was a

66
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,720
Speaker 2: complete surprise to me because I never really thought of

67
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,359
Speaker 2: him as anything more than her father. We would just

68
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,880
Speaker 2: watch the game together sometime and chat about it later,

69
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,120
Speaker 2: but that was the extent of our social interaction. Girlfriend

70
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,320
Speaker 2: said I needed to earn his respect and I told

71
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,200
Speaker 2: her I had done nothing wrong. That's when the fight started.

72
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,040
Speaker 2: But a few days later Carl called me and said

73
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,200
Speaker 2: he liked the watch and other accessories. That's his way

74
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,080
Speaker 2: of declaring truth. I guess. After that, I was always

75
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:38,440
Speaker 2: extra careful never to miss any event with him. Last June,

76
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:42,240
Speaker 2: girlfriend's mother passed away. Oh and it was an incredibly

77
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,200
Speaker 2: difficult time for everyone. I tried to be asked supportive

78
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,880
Speaker 2: towards the whole family as I could. I cut down

79
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,760
Speaker 2: my work hours to spend more time with them.

80
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,520
Speaker 3: Yo, don't do that. Don't do that.

81
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,280
Speaker 2: And I was gonna be like, you're lazy, we're not working.

82
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:56,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

83
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,200
Speaker 2: Girlfriend and I started cooking the family dinner at his

84
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,080
Speaker 2: place because she thought it would be better for him

85
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,160
Speaker 2: to see the house alive with people again, and we

86
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,040
Speaker 2: made it an every week eventd for a while just

87
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,160
Speaker 2: to spend more time with him. Multiple times, we made

88
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,960
Speaker 2: extra effort to host family events and once we even

89
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,520
Speaker 2: flew his elderly sister. An elder sister out over for

90
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,560
Speaker 2: his birthday. I had thought he would warm up to

91
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,599
Speaker 2: me a little, but I guess I was wrong, which

92
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,920
Speaker 2: brings us to today. Girlfriend is away for the week

93
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,880
Speaker 2: on work related stuff, so I planned the whole proposal.

94
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,640
Speaker 2: I was going to decorate our apartment like a planetarium

95
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,720
Speaker 2: with stars and planets and wright, will you marry me?

96
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:35,719
Speaker 2: And the stars?

97
00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:37,520
Speaker 5: Ah, that's so cute.

98
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,159
Speaker 2: It's from friends, which she is obsessed with. I wanted

99
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,480
Speaker 2: to start the preparations with his blessings because that way

100
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,680
Speaker 2: he would feel good about me asking him first and

101
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,600
Speaker 2: he feel included. Also, that is like so sweet.

102
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,080
Speaker 3: Well, well, good luck with this giant man baby though.

103
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,320
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's not gonna like it. I planned a

104
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,960
Speaker 2: lunch with him for today to ask for his blessing.

105
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,880
Speaker 2: I told him how much I respect him and that

106
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,880
Speaker 2: I wish one day I could be as good of

107
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,520
Speaker 2: a father as he was. Then when I asked for

108
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,159
Speaker 2: his blessing for the marriage, he blew up. He was

109
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,680
Speaker 2: absolutely livid, saying that her daughter deserves a better man

110
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,240
Speaker 2: and that he never really liked me much and it

111
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,120
Speaker 2: always hoped the relationship would end.

112
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,880
Speaker 3: Dude, not gonna lie. This kind of happened to me.

113
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:24,280
Speaker 2: That's yeah, that's so messed up. Yeah, like keep your

114
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:25,200
Speaker 2: mouth shut man.

115
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,159
Speaker 4: Like the like our parents did not like me at all.

116
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,640
Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, I'm looking forward to marriage and stuff.

117
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:31,919
Speaker 4: And they sat us down and was like, are you

118
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,120
Speaker 4: really sure about that? You want to be? You want

119
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:36,040
Speaker 4: to be a videographer and an editor? Like do they

120
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,760
Speaker 4: even make much money? YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA YadA.

121
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:43,480
Speaker 4: Does Guess who's she's engaged to now? Someone poor photographer

122
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,760
Speaker 4: slash editor? What yep, that's who she's engaged to right now?

123
00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:47,560
Speaker 2: That's ridiculous.

124
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,320
Speaker 3: What can I say?

125
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,760
Speaker 2: He said, all the butt kissing I was doing last

126
00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:52,960
Speaker 2: year had shown that I just wanted to appear like

127
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,320
Speaker 2: a good man to girlfriend and didn't mean any of that.

128
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:55,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

129
00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was so shocked because this is not how

130
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,320
Speaker 2: I expected it to go at all. I left him,

131
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:04,120
Speaker 2: still spewing hate and went to one of my friend's places,

132
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,880
Speaker 2: told him and his wife everything, but they are just

133
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,240
Speaker 2: as shocked as I am. I spent the day at

134
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,160
Speaker 2: their place and got home about two hours ago, not

135
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,400
Speaker 2: sure how to proceed now or even what to do.

136
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,960
Speaker 2: Should I tell my girlfriend that her father said no,

137
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,760
Speaker 2: should I proceed as if nothing has happened. For now,

138
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,640
Speaker 2: I'm drinking and playing video games? What should I do?

139
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:27,520
Speaker 2: Reddit Note I have kept a lot of details intentionally

140
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,919
Speaker 2: vague because my girlfriend and her siblings are active on

141
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,800
Speaker 2: Reddit and there is an update.

142
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:34,159
Speaker 3: Wait what years?

143
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,560
Speaker 2: This maid twenty sixteen, This is twenty nine, and now

144
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,400
Speaker 2: we're jumping to twenty nineteen, so they're either married or

145
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:39,760
Speaker 2: they're not.

146
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,920
Speaker 3: I say, I love time skips, Yeah, they kind of.

147
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,039
Speaker 3: I don't, but you don't.

148
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,440
Speaker 6: I don't like big time skipps because I feel like

149
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,680
Speaker 6: you miss a lot of context.

150
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, Taylor's what happened in between?

151
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,320
Speaker 5: Oh dude, when House of the Dragon did that, I

152
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,719
Speaker 5: was like, what, Oh you just meaning like shows but

153
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:54,520
Speaker 5: not in life too.

154
00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:58,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is what happens. Bro breaks up with a girl.

155
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:02,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, and he moves to another city, find he finds

156
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,719
Speaker 4: himself before he moves to another city and finds a

157
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:09,159
Speaker 4: flourishing job where he has great coworkers, any great life,

158
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:09,720
Speaker 4: and there you go.

159
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:10,760
Speaker 3: That's what happens.

160
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:11,080
Speaker 6: Yeah.

161
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,160
Speaker 2: Honestly, the way that she reacted about the first time,

162
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,520
Speaker 2: when she was like, why do you want to be

163
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,080
Speaker 2: buddies with my dad. I feel like I feel like

164
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,360
Speaker 2: she's gonna side with her dad. Maybe.

165
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,640
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, of course, because who's going to be saying

166
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,160
Speaker 4: if you hear from your dad he's not a good

167
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,720
Speaker 4: enough person for you, You're gonna believe it. After a while,

168
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,640
Speaker 4: you're gonna be like, yeah, that makes sense, right.

169
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,040
Speaker 3: I guess that's what happened.

170
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,720
Speaker 2: Update August twentieth, twenty nineteen. I'm not sure what I

171
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,600
Speaker 2: will get out of this. I feel like writing all

172
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,200
Speaker 2: down and having a stranger look it over might give

173
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,200
Speaker 2: some mental clarity, but I think at this point there's

174
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,040
Speaker 2: no way to salvage our marriage.

175
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:45,960
Speaker 3: They're married now.

176
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,440
Speaker 2: I've been in relationship with my wife for almost nine

177
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:54,080
Speaker 2: years now married for two. Wow. Our relationship has been,

178
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:57,040
Speaker 2: for the most part, a fulfilling and satisfying one for

179
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,240
Speaker 2: the both of us. It seems like I'm making a

180
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,679
Speaker 2: self congratulate post, but we've become better people by virtue

181
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 2: of being together. I'm an old fashioned person, so it

182
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,760
Speaker 2: was difficult to meet a woman who liked the things

183
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,520
Speaker 2: I liked and had the opinions I had. The only

184
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,760
Speaker 2: unsavory part of our relationship over the years had been

185
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,400
Speaker 2: my relationship with my father in law. My wife and

186
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,360
Speaker 2: I rarely have disagreements, so most of the major fights

187
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,200
Speaker 2: we've had were because of her father. I want to

188
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,320
Speaker 2: be clear here, I don't hate him. I respect the guy.

189
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,240
Speaker 2: He sacrificed a lot in his personal life in order

190
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,880
Speaker 2: to provide for his family and to make sure my

191
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,880
Speaker 2: wife was raised with love and care. I used to

192
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,600
Speaker 2: look up to him in the earlier years of the relationship.

193
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,840
Speaker 2: He and my mother in law would host the family

194
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,160
Speaker 2: twice every week, and when I first started dating their daughter,

195
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,760
Speaker 2: it took me by surprise how close they were as

196
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,040
Speaker 2: a family. I really liked the family events, with these

197
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:52,760
Speaker 2: picturesque dinners of mild conflicts and contentment, with how close

198
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,160
Speaker 2: my wife was with all of her siblings and her parents.

199
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,520
Speaker 2: Too early on in the relationship, I think I freaked

200
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,560
Speaker 2: out my wife by how much I enjoyed being at

201
00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:02,160
Speaker 2: her parents house. Her mother was a saint of a

202
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,360
Speaker 2: woman who gave me so much love from the get

203
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:10,520
Speaker 2: go okaya food as she would always make sure I

204
00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:13,480
Speaker 2: was included in family activities and often reserved a seat

205
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,480
Speaker 2: for me at the family dinner right next to her,

206
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,600
Speaker 2: talking to me like I was one of her own.

207
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,959
Speaker 2: I remember one time I was over at their place

208
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,720
Speaker 2: and had to get back to the city for work.

209
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,120
Speaker 2: It was getting pretty late when I got up to leave,

210
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,560
Speaker 2: and it had been snowing. She came down from her

211
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:29,400
Speaker 2: room when I was leaving, with an overcoat and her

212
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,400
Speaker 2: husband saying I should take the coat with me just

213
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,920
Speaker 2: in case. But I know it was because she knew

214
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,960
Speaker 2: my car got cold those days. It was a pos

215
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,960
Speaker 2: car getting to the end of its life. She didn't

216
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,640
Speaker 2: want me to feel like she thought less of me

217
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,959
Speaker 2: just because I made less money than my wife. These

218
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,240
Speaker 2: little mom things she would do made me love her

219
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,320
Speaker 2: so much. And she passed away, we learned earlier in

220
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,880
Speaker 2: the story. Anyway, the reason I bring up my mother

221
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,760
Speaker 2: in law is because I think she was the reason

222
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,880
Speaker 2: her husband was so accepting of me at the time.

223
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,000
Speaker 2: She passed away four years ago, and it somehow changed.

224
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,800
Speaker 2: I think his love meter broke or something. He started

225
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:07,960
Speaker 2: acting like i'd somehow slighted him all the time, Like

226
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,319
Speaker 2: one time wife and I were bringing over some groceries

227
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,480
Speaker 2: and restalking everything, and I thought it would be nice

228
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,720
Speaker 2: to stay for the dinner and cook for him while

229
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,000
Speaker 2: he was out for his evening, walk wife and I

230
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,360
Speaker 2: prepared a nice dinner. At dinner, he thanked my wife

231
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,840
Speaker 2: for most of it. She mentioned that I did most

232
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,440
Speaker 2: of the work for it, and he kind of looked

233
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:25,800
Speaker 2: at me and just stopped talking.

234
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,320
Speaker 3: Would you do me, man? Would you do? Did you

235
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:32,240
Speaker 3: do something? Or does he just is jealous?

236
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,760
Speaker 2: He's just jealous. Another time, in September of twenty sixteen,

237
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,560
Speaker 2: we were staying at his place for the weekend because

238
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,000
Speaker 2: we were cooking the family dinner every morning. Wife and

239
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,320
Speaker 2: I were sitting on the breakfast counter just starting our

240
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,880
Speaker 2: day and we thought he was out because he was

241
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,240
Speaker 2: usually the first one up. I hit my wife on

242
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,280
Speaker 2: her leg over a stupid pun or something, and I

243
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:54,480
Speaker 2: guess he saw because he came over and started yelling

244
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,760
Speaker 2: at me about not being raised right and being a

245
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,839
Speaker 2: woman beater. Whoa, whoa, yeah, do you know? Nobody was

246
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:03,920
Speaker 2: just like yeah, just like this, yeah, kicking he keeps

247
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:08,160
Speaker 2: kicking me. He said a lot of extremely toxic things

248
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,439
Speaker 2: about me before my younger sister in laws came into

249
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:13,240
Speaker 2: the kitchen and practically dragged him out.

250
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:13,720
Speaker 3: There we go.

251
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:16,240
Speaker 2: My wife repeatedly said that it was a joke, but

252
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:20,480
Speaker 2: he wouldn't accept the explanation, saying she sticks up for me. Similarly,

253
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,280
Speaker 2: I remember one time. This was when his wife was alive.

254
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,920
Speaker 2: I bought him a gift and he straight up refused

255
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:27,880
Speaker 2: to accept it in front of the whole family. What

256
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,520
Speaker 2: my wife's mother, brother and his family, including sister in law,

257
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:35,240
Speaker 2: both sisters, their husbands, and the elder sister's kid were there.

258
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,960
Speaker 2: It was such a humiliating experience for me. I just

259
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,839
Speaker 2: wanted the man to not hate me all the time.

260
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,480
Speaker 2: I think my mother in law forced him to accept

261
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,920
Speaker 2: the gift after a few days and made him apologize

262
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:49,760
Speaker 2: to me. After my mother in law passed away, he changed.

263
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,600
Speaker 2: It was like his filter was gone. He would stay

264
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,640
Speaker 2: in his room a lot, only come out for erin's

265
00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:57,160
Speaker 2: and walks. He wouldn't watch the games with me, saying

266
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,840
Speaker 2: I talk too much. He wouldn't let me fix anything

267
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,480
Speaker 2: out the house, despite me practically living there and having

268
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,360
Speaker 2: done a lot of work in the house in the past.

269
00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:07,520
Speaker 2: A popular theory among my friends was that he hated

270
00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:10,120
Speaker 2: me because I was too close to his wife, which

271
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,720
Speaker 2: sounds absurd. She was a maternal figure in my life

272
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,160
Speaker 2: and I can't, for the life of me understand why

273
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,480
Speaker 2: that would piss him off because he was jealous because

274
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,200
Speaker 2: you had a Yeah, you had a type of relation,

275
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:20,840
Speaker 2: you know, shipped with her.

276
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:24,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, you probably like asked her how her day was. Yeah,

277
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,880
Speaker 4: something he never fathomed to do.

278
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,839
Speaker 2: Oh, she was nice to everyone. My wife is nice

279
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,880
Speaker 2: to everyone too, to the point of it being a fault.

280
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:32,960
Speaker 2: My mother in law used to say that she had

281
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,520
Speaker 2: four sons, her son, two husbands of my wife's sisters,

282
00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:39,640
Speaker 2: and me not so sweet. So it's not like I

283
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:42,679
Speaker 2: was inappropriately close with the woman. I've discussed this with

284
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,720
Speaker 2: my with my wife a lot, but she's always insistent

285
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,880
Speaker 2: that my relationship with her mother has nothing to do

286
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,959
Speaker 2: with it. She needs to talk to her dad. Is

287
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,240
Speaker 2: this like it feels like she's not really standing up

288
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:56,760
Speaker 2: for op at all. Yeah, at least the barest minimum.

289
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,280
Speaker 3: He needs to see. I don't know.

290
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,960
Speaker 4: He needs to get his head fixed because understand your

291
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,560
Speaker 4: wife has passed away. That's just give you the right

292
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,720
Speaker 4: to treat this. You know, your son in law like this. Yeah,

293
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:07,520
Speaker 4: he's not doing anything.

294
00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:08,920
Speaker 2: He's marry to your daughter.

295
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he's trying to have a relationship with you. Man,

296
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:12,000
Speaker 3: I don't know.

297
00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:14,280
Speaker 4: One day you're gonna be walking down the street being

298
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,320
Speaker 4: like man, where somebody cared for me? Yeah, and he

299
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:17,360
Speaker 4: was only that was caring.

300
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,520
Speaker 2: For you, pushing everyone away in your life who's trying

301
00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:21,720
Speaker 2: to help you. My wife is the youngest daughter, so

302
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,040
Speaker 2: she treats her father with a lot of love and respect.

303
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,880
Speaker 2: Early on in our relationship, his behavior wasn't an issue,

304
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,160
Speaker 2: and by the time it became an issue, we were

305
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,480
Speaker 2: already too serious for me to break it off over this.

306
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,600
Speaker 2: Everyone else in her family likes me as far as

307
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,280
Speaker 2: I know. I've been invited over by both of her

308
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,440
Speaker 2: sisters and multiple times for lunches, dinners, favors, et cetera.

309
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:45,240
Speaker 2: Everyone treats me like I'm family. I've talked to the

310
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,800
Speaker 2: eldest sister about why their father hates me, but she's

311
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:51,000
Speaker 2: always maintained that he doesn't hate me. She always says

312
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,840
Speaker 2: he loves his youngest daughter a lot and has always

313
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,520
Speaker 2: been a difficult person to please, And honestly, I can

314
00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:59,480
Speaker 2: see that it's true. On an average day, he is

315
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,280
Speaker 2: the most at of me out of all of his

316
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,280
Speaker 2: son in laws. Wait, so he hates all of his

317
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:08,079
Speaker 2: sudden laws. Yeuh, that's crazy, But they all live in

318
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,080
Speaker 2: different cities or states, and wife and I live in

319
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,240
Speaker 2: the same neighborhood, so he gets to see me more.

320
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,920
Speaker 2: I'm sure a part of his resentment is because of

321
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,920
Speaker 2: that too. After my mother in law passed, we were

322
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,360
Speaker 2: all heartbroken. A few days after her funeral, when everyone

323
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,240
Speaker 2: started to leave, my wife and I were going through

324
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,320
Speaker 2: some of the stuff that her mother left. She started

325
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,320
Speaker 2: getting choked up about the fact that the house felt

326
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,760
Speaker 2: like it had passed with her. We decided that we

327
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,680
Speaker 2: were going to take on the mantle of cooking for

328
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,120
Speaker 2: family dinners like her mom used to do. It's a

329
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,760
Speaker 2: pretty big responsibility, considering the family is almost never altogether

330
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:42,040
Speaker 2: except maybe one holiday a year. Sometimes it would just

331
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,280
Speaker 2: be my father in law, brother in law and his

332
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,680
Speaker 2: family and us. It was actually really nice for a while.

333
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,280
Speaker 2: Everyone kept visiting once in a while and the routine

334
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,640
Speaker 2: was nice. I was glad to have more time for

335
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,240
Speaker 2: family and not be harassed by father in law. It

336
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,480
Speaker 2: felt like he was warming up to me. Look like

337
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,680
Speaker 2: there is going to be something some shoes about to drop.

338
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,200
Speaker 2: He I think this guy could be scared of losing

339
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,960
Speaker 2: his daughter. Maybe it could be a possibility. Yeah, I

340
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,360
Speaker 2: don't know. It seems like he's scared. I guess, so

341
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,960
Speaker 2: maybe losing all of his daughters because he.

342
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,160
Speaker 3: Already lost his wife. He just want to lose his daughter.

343
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,960
Speaker 2: And he's like a super hyper protective. Yeah, honey, be

344
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,560
Speaker 2: eighty five says, does his daughter Opie's partner look more

345
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:18,680
Speaker 2: like her mother? Maybe?

346
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:22,920
Speaker 4: And like thinking that her being married is her being

347
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,520
Speaker 4: taken away or something. So he resents his son in laws.

348
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,000
Speaker 4: Who are you reading nothing? Those were my ideas?

349
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:32,800
Speaker 2: Did Angie just send you ideas? No, Okay, she's not here,

350
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:34,680
Speaker 2: She's literally not here.

351
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:35,880
Speaker 3: But yeah that's my thought.

352
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,640
Speaker 4: Yeah that you know, whenever he gets married, but that

353
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:39,120
Speaker 4: would happen.

354
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:43,040
Speaker 2: Alie says, perhaps it's the intimacy with his daughter. My

355
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,720
Speaker 2: cat's name is Karen says, maybe dad wanted his own sons.

356
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,680
Speaker 2: He didn't want to get close to the sister in law.

357
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:52,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, weird, weird a lot of conspiracy theories. Let's just

358
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,600
Speaker 4: get this guy in a room and ask what's your

359
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:55,400
Speaker 4: deal and then we'll.

360
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,240
Speaker 2: Get Yeah, you need to have like go up to

361
00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:59,880
Speaker 2: your father in law and be like, dude, you've always

362
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:00,560
Speaker 2: hated me?

363
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:01,520
Speaker 6: Why?

364
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:02,320
Speaker 3: Uh uh?

365
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,800
Speaker 5: There we go make a dramatic yeah, do what Riley

366
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,280
Speaker 5: would do fight him.

367
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:13,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would totally earn his respect. Riley's just really introspective, guys.

368
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,080
Speaker 4: See that's what she's said.

369
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,720
Speaker 2: So introspective. At that time, a wife and I started

370
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,320
Speaker 2: talking about marriage and it just felt right. I don't

371
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,960
Speaker 2: think I was ever more sure about anything than about

372
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,760
Speaker 2: marrying my wife at the time. There was a brief

373
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,040
Speaker 2: moment before the engagement where she and I got into

374
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,920
Speaker 2: a fight, but things worked out nicely. We got engaged

375
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,560
Speaker 2: in May, and it just set things in motion. My

376
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,880
Speaker 2: wife is the youngest child in her family, so she

377
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,760
Speaker 2: got a lot of positive attention from her siblings. They

378
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,680
Speaker 2: had kept her mother's wedding accessories for which honestly was

379
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:44,640
Speaker 2: such a nice thing to do, and slowly, over the

380
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,800
Speaker 2: months it became this big happy event in our family.

381
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,680
Speaker 2: Winter of twenty sixteen, when we got married, my wife

382
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,440
Speaker 2: sat me down and asked me if it would be

383
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,560
Speaker 2: okay to move in back with her father to take

384
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,080
Speaker 2: care of him. I think that was the moment where

385
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,680
Speaker 2: I made the stupidest decision of my life life when

386
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:05,159
Speaker 2: I said yes. Yeah, I understand why you might have

387
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:09,119
Speaker 2: you said yes, but also, it's kind of hard to

388
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,600
Speaker 2: move in with someone who actively hates you a lot.

389
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:15,080
Speaker 4: The chronic peepee got to you. Yeah, chronic pypee uh,

390
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,720
Speaker 4: chronic people pleasing.

391
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:17,760
Speaker 3: Chronicky pee.

392
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,760
Speaker 2: I was blinded my love not just for my wife,

393
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,840
Speaker 2: but for her family, for her mother, who I missed

394
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,560
Speaker 2: so much, for her father, who liked me but never

395
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,639
Speaker 2: really accepted me, and for her siblings who liked me

396
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,600
Speaker 2: like I was the own. I just thought about what

397
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,639
Speaker 2: would be best for everyone else. A month after we

398
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,680
Speaker 2: moved in and my father in law asked his son

399
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,600
Speaker 2: if he could come stay with them for a while.

400
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:41,399
Speaker 2: WHOA wait, Like you guys moved in. He was like,

401
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:42,520
Speaker 2: I'm out of here.

402
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,160
Speaker 3: You guys can stay here.

403
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:44,879
Speaker 2: I'm leaving.

404
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:46,920
Speaker 3: That's cool. Do you have to pay still?

405
00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:47,359
Speaker 2: Yeah?

406
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,159
Speaker 3: Like quiet, Okay, where's he going? He's going to the

407
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,720
Speaker 3: brother in law's all right, dope.

408
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:56,440
Speaker 2: At the time, it felt like a good thing that

409
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 2: I was moving past the grief of his wife's passing.

410
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,240
Speaker 2: But I don't think that that why he visited his son.

411
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 2: He just wanted to get out of the house because

412
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:03,840
Speaker 2: of me.

413
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,200
Speaker 4: Look, he might be losing it mentally too.

414
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:09,120
Speaker 2: A few weeks later, when he got back his passive aggressiveness,

415
00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:12,720
Speaker 2: BS started again. Oh, he just left temporarily. I thought

416
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,679
Speaker 2: he was moving out forever. I thought he was like,

417
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,000
Speaker 2: I want to stay with the other one. Now, you

418
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 2: guys stay here.

419
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:18,919
Speaker 3: This guy makes no sense.

420
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 2: It makes no sense. But this time it was just

421
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,959
Speaker 2: constant nagging over small, petty things. I moved the chair, No,

422
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,320
Speaker 2: I didn't. I broke the thermostat No, and I changed

423
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 2: it for good measure. I forgot to put the tools back.

424
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,880
Speaker 2: I messed up the library. Things like that, almost as

425
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,200
Speaker 2: if I'm a child who's unwanted in this house.

426
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,199
Speaker 3: Oh, this feels like a movie. I don't know why.

427
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:43,200
Speaker 4: It feels like Daddy's Home too. It feels like these

428
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:46,840
Speaker 4: two characters blah blah blah blah. Just cut the cheese

429
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 4: and ask him what's going on.

430
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,560
Speaker 2: You're with him and say, dude, why do you hate me?

431
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,840
Speaker 2: Why do you hate me so much? It's like the

432
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:56,880
Speaker 2: climax of the movie. Yes, why do you hate me

433
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:57,440
Speaker 2: so bad?

434
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,919
Speaker 4: Now they're like find back and forth. The wife's like

435
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,120
Speaker 4: all you boys is nothing, But they're.

436
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,399
Speaker 6: Like that sounds like footloose, like where they like the

437
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,080
Speaker 6: dad like hates dancing, and like the guy like loves

438
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:07,520
Speaker 6: a dance.

439
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, facts May twenty seventeen. We had a huge fight

440
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,000
Speaker 2: and I gave my wife a choice to either live

441
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,679
Speaker 2: with me or live with her father. That made her

442
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,600
Speaker 2: have a fight with her father, and she decided she

443
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,440
Speaker 2: was gonna move out because, in her own words, he's

444
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,280
Speaker 2: never going to accept you as a son. He's delusional

445
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,200
Speaker 2: in grief. So we moved out, but still live close

446
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,320
Speaker 2: by because both their jobs were quite close. Our moving out, however,

447
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,200
Speaker 2: messed up the whole family dinner tradition, as her father

448
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,879
Speaker 2: refused to come to our place for dinners and we

449
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:37,640
Speaker 2: couldn't afford to host the whole family in our small apartment.

450
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:41,560
Speaker 2: It became a logistic nightmare. So her brother stepped up

451
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,520
Speaker 2: and said he was going to do it. I think

452
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,520
Speaker 2: their father was really mad at me for ruining the

453
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,440
Speaker 2: tradition because at every single dinner I had with him,

454
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,399
Speaker 2: he wanted nothing to do with me. I actually liked

455
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 2: it this way because it was nice to not be

456
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 2: attacked or defended all the time.

457
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 3: Okay, I mean he's not.

458
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,040
Speaker 2: Talking to you, so I guess that's better now.

459
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 4: The characters are they have their own way. They're like hmmm,

460
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:03,920
Speaker 4: and the old ones like.

461
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,119
Speaker 2: Well yeah, and the wife's and then it's like a

462
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 2: montage or something. Yeah, but my wife started resenting me

463
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 2: for it, and I think her younger sister and brother

464
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,439
Speaker 2: do too. What he didn't do anything. Man, it's been

465
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,080
Speaker 2: almost two years since we moved out. I don't attend

466
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 2: family dinners with much regularity, maybe once a month if

467
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 2: I'm being generous. I also got busier at work, so

468
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,440
Speaker 2: I've been spending less time with wife during the weekdays,

469
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,000
Speaker 2: which I prefer, because her resentment towards me is making

470
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,520
Speaker 2: it a very difficult situation. She goes over to her

471
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 2: brother's house every other weekend, and the other weekend is

472
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,520
Speaker 2: spent at her father's place, where her brother's family and

473
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,480
Speaker 2: she get together for dinner. The only person on my

474
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,200
Speaker 2: side is my oldest sister in law because she thinks

475
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,440
Speaker 2: her father has treated me badly. She has visited us

476
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 2: twice over the last year, and it's the only time

477
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 2: I've gotten any affection from my in laws. It feels

478
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 2: like up until two years ago, I had a huge

479
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:55,000
Speaker 2: family who all loved me, and now I'm getting more

480
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 2: and more lonely by the month.

481
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 6: Oh.

482
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 2: I can't help but feel that the marriage has changed

483
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,120
Speaker 2: her lives the worst. It's been more than two months

484
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,280
Speaker 2: since my wife and I have been intimate in our bedroom.

485
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,640
Speaker 2: It's been a lot longer since we've had a date

486
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,440
Speaker 2: for ourselves. I'm at a complete loss as to what

487
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:10,680
Speaker 2: I can do to improve things.

488
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 4: Dude, You've got to go to the dad. You need

489
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 4: to go on a fish and trip with the dad.

490
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,800
Speaker 2: Literally, you need to have a conversation with everyone here.

491
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:22,560
Speaker 4: Figure it out with the dad first, show some progress,

492
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 4: then figure.

493
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 3: It out with the wife. I don't know. I have

494
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 3: been a part of a family.

495
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 4: Like I dated a girl and like her family did

496
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 4: not like me whatsoever. And I will say the dynamic

497
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,639
Speaker 4: in that family was super hard to be around and

498
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,080
Speaker 4: it made me super sad because I'm a family guy,

499
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,680
Speaker 4: all right, and I seem like it's a family, but

500
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:44,760
Speaker 4: I am a family person.

501
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:46,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, everyone wants to be liked by the

502
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:48,280
Speaker 2: people closest to their partner.

503
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 4: But I especially with the family and now being with Angie,

504
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 4: has been fantastic. Like, our parents are super fun around me.

505
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 4: They joke with me, like I send them updates. They

506
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 4: talked to me back for It's it's such a nice

507
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 4: relationship to be around them.

508
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 3: And I don't know.

509
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:08,320
Speaker 4: It just makes it things so much easier. It's crazy,

510
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 4: So no one who what I know now, if I

511
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 4: was with someone and their family didn't vibe with me,

512
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:16,879
Speaker 4: I probably would be getting giving second thoughts like I

513
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 4: don't know if I would have gotten married three years ago.

514
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,919
Speaker 2: No, I mean if he said no, I would have

515
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,120
Speaker 2: to have a really big conversation with my fiance first. Yeah,

516
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,919
Speaker 2: say like, hey, your dad said no, we need to

517
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,119
Speaker 2: I feel like I don't want to proceed with you

518
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 2: until we get this sorted out with him.

519
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly, and have like a sit.

520
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 2: Down conversation with both of us.

521
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 4: This post kind of like why is she moving in

522
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:37,399
Speaker 4: with the dad?

523
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 3: Sounded like not anymore? She was losing it.

524
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.

525
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:42,120
Speaker 3: I could have heard it wrong though.

526
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:43,919
Speaker 2: The post kind of grew when I was writing it.

527
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:46,920
Speaker 2: I had to edit some small details because I don't

528
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 2: want my in laws to find this post. By the way,

529
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 2: we want you to find full episodes of stories just

530
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 2: like this, and you can find them if you go

531
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 2: to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app and

532
00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 2: search a Bocus story time. There is both update and

533
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 2: also a whole other saga to this story. I was

534
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,360
Speaker 2: like that this is not over. I was like, oh no,

535
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 2: it was just split into two parts.

536
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 3: Time jump again.

537
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 2: I don't know. We'll find out we do.

538
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh dude, bro, time jumps again. I love time jumps,

539
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:20,439
Speaker 4: especially with stories like this, like TV series will not

540
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:21,119
Speaker 4: do that, but this.

541
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, boy, do I have the movie for you?

542
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 1: Back to the.

543
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:29,640
Speaker 4: Future update twenty ninety Wait, figure it out with the dad.

544
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 3: Okay, go yeah wait.

545
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 2: Some folks have messaged me asking for an update, so

546
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 2: I thought I could post it here instead of personal messages.

547
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 2: I have been reading a lot of relationship health books

548
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 2: and tried to talk to my wife many times.

549
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 3: Doing the inner work. Let's go.

550
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 2: However, the fact is she and I don't work as

551
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 2: a couple anymore.

552
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:53,200
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I have so many conspiracy theories about this too.

553
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:54,120
Speaker 5: Is is that just one?

554
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:54,239
Speaker 2: Who?

555
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 3: I give us one?

556
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 2: Wow?

557
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 1: Wow? So many? So many? You just can't think of one.

558
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 2: So freaking many.

559
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 1: Man.

560
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 3: That's yep, that's it. Yeah, guys, don't be mad at me.

561
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:10,120
Speaker 4: I just read a study about how birth control affects

562
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:11,359
Speaker 4: how relationships are.

563
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 3: There was a study done about it. You know what

564
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 3: I'm talking about?

565
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,680
Speaker 2: In that it affects the hormones of the woman, yeah,

566
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 2: or the person taking it.

567
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

568
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 4: So like there's a study done with women that are

569
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 4: on birth control and a study done with women that

570
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 4: weren't on birth control, and the women that weren't on

571
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 4: birth control would smell these like bags of men that

572
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,120
Speaker 4: would sweat in this T shirt and like it would

573
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,159
Speaker 4: be like basically they smell their pheromones. They got that

574
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 4: pheromones to smell the men's fair of moms. And it

575
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,359
Speaker 4: concluded that the women that were not on birth control

576
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 4: chose like more diverse like like you know partners in that.

577
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 4: But the women that were on birth control chose randomly

578
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 4: or people that were kind of like more similar to them,

579
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:56,239
Speaker 4: like similar DNA structures or whatever. And it looked like

580
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 4: the birth control would like kind of alter their like

581
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 4: on the partner. So I think like once people come

582
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 4: off of birth control, they're like they see their partner

583
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,720
Speaker 4: and they're like, who is this person? Like I don't

584
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,239
Speaker 4: I don't smell or like have the same vibe of

585
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 4: like the person that I thought I was with. That's

586
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 4: kind of like what there, I don't know, prove me wrong.

587
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 2: Here, No, no, no, I'm not I'm not saying that that's wrong.

588
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:20,639
Speaker 2: What is the relevance season?

589
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 4: Well, another thing too is she could have maybe been

590
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 4: on birth control when they were together and now was

591
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 4: off it, and that might be another reason why they're

592
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 4: so separate, not just the dad. It was the dad's

593
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 4: stuff and then also this one too, or she's like,

594
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:33,399
Speaker 4: we can't back anymore.

595
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,120
Speaker 2: That is a that is a theory.

596
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 4: Because it's if it's just the dad stuff, you could

597
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 4: work through it and be like, Okay, dad, you're being hard.

598
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,440
Speaker 3: They just have an intervention.

599
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 2: I don't think they could work through it if she

600
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 2: doesn't do anything, you know.

601
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, if they have an intervention, they could fix it.

602
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 4: But it doesn't sound like she one wants to have

603
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 4: intervention into If someone says we.

604
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 3: Just don't work as a couple anymore, you're they're donezos.

605
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. Well, I think because she's not willing

606
00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 2: to fight for this relationship when her father says, oh,

607
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 2: you shouldn't be in.

608
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 3: This relationship, thank you, it's sure.

609
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 2: I know. I don't think Riley is wrong. I just

610
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 2: thought it was a it's a left field theory, but

611
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 2: you know, perhaps the left field is where the right

612
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 2: answers are. However, the fact is she and I just

613
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 2: don't work as a couple anymore. I am no longer

614
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 2: a priority in her life and I am not okay

615
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 2: with it. So last month I decided to talk to

616
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 2: my lawyer and initiate divorce. It's been a really stressful time,

617
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 2: especially for almost from almost all of her family. But

618
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 2: at this point, I just want to look after myself

619
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 2: and recover myself from this relationship. Dead Bedroom sup have

620
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 2: been helpful as well. I read through so many posts

621
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,959
Speaker 2: there which kind of opened my eyes to the nature

622
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 2: of my marriage. And that is ended part one. So

623
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,640
Speaker 2: we're gonna get into part two. There's oh wow, Yeah,

624
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:46,640
Speaker 2: there's a whole part two.

625
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,919
Speaker 5: We're going to the future, the future present.

626
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, that's what's u sam.

627
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to the stories. But here's

628
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 1: three of it's bads from our sponsors.

629
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 2: Me and my ex wife divorced years ago. So now

630
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 2: she wants to meet me for lunch.

631
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 5: You had to spoil the broth.

632
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 4: Huh wants to meet me for lunch? Well, he already

633
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 4: was initiating me, dude.

634
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,639
Speaker 2: Okay, this is my theory. Okay, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theory.

635
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 2: They get they've gotten divorced. She realizes, I know, maybe

636
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,199
Speaker 2: her dad passed or I don't know, maybe her like

637
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 2: her dad realizes you have a picture. Is that the

638
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 2: picture either? He regrets in some way something has changed

639
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 2: with the dad. She realizes, Oh my god, my dad

640
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 2: was the reason that I was this like, this marriage

641
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,880
Speaker 2: was failing. I still love appear a lot. I need

642
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 2: to go back and get him back. Dan. It's my theory.

643
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 3: I think it's something something similar.

644
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 2: To that October twenty seventh, twenty twenty three.

645
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 3: That is four years in the future.

646
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 2: The time jump. Oh that he's a toyme jump four years.

647
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,679
Speaker 2: There's some context to why we got divorced, but it

648
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:52,439
Speaker 2: will take too long to explain here. Don't worry, we

649
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 2: read it. By the way, this comes from Phil said no,

650
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 2: and if you want to spit your own stories, go

651
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 2: to our Slashoky story time. Sever So after our I

652
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:03,199
Speaker 2: lost a family and friends. I was very involved with

653
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 2: the family on her side, and losing them all at

654
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 2: the same time because we got divorced made things difficult

655
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 2: for me. I am an immigrant here, so I did

656
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,680
Speaker 2: not have any friends outside of my ex wife's family

657
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,479
Speaker 2: and so also to you know, be cut off from,

658
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 2: oh like their own family and then have this kind

659
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 2: of accepting, you know, accepting one that just drops you.

660
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 4: That's so tough, Like having like one. I know, my dad,

661
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 4: he's not really close with his side of the family,

662
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 4: but him being a part of my like my mom's

663
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 4: out of the family, helped so much. But like not

664
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 4: having any family at all, dude, yeah, oh man, that's

665
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 4: so said.

666
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 2: During the divorce process, the COVID lockdown started, and that

667
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,959
Speaker 2: and did all my relationships with her side of the family,

668
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 2: and I was really lonely here for a long time.

669
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 2: I tried to go on dates, but the dating culture

670
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 2: is so different now than fifteen years ago. I could

671
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 2: not find a person I wanted to spend more time with.

672
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 2: But I think it was in part my I felt too,

673
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 2: and the one person who showed interest in long term

674
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 2: dating was much younger than me. I did not like

675
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 2: her friends, and her friends were not thrilled with me either,

676
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 2: so that relationship kind of passed in twenty one. Since then,

677
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 2: I have stopped going on dates even and I have

678
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 2: lost touch with some friends and acquaintances because of COVID.

679
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:22,880
Speaker 2: Because of the VID, or maybe because of age and

680
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 2: not having a wife. Like they're all family men now,

681
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 2: so making time is a difficult thing. But anyway, I

682
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 2: saw my ex wife a few times in the last

683
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 2: two years and we exchanged some quick words about well being,

684
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 2: but nothing substantial. I know she lost her father due

685
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 2: to COVID or. I know she lost her father due

686
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 2: to VID, and I told her I was sorry for

687
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 2: her loss because he loved her very much. She also

688
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 2: told me she was dating a younger man and was going, well.

689
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 4: Okay, you don't you gotta put that in the air,

690
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 4: that part.

691
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 2: You didn't even say that. You did not need to

692
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 2: say that.

693
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 4: How do you think she met the younger guy her dad?

694
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 4: Oh said that he probably has someone better for her.

695
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't think that younger man's gonna last too long.

696
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 3: Oh no, dude, you can't.

697
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:08,959
Speaker 2: I think I think her dad's passed.

698
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 4: He's here for a fun time, not a long time.

699
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 2: However, However, we never sat down for tea anything. It

700
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 2: just never happened. But two months ago I got a

701
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 2: message from her saying she wanted to meet for lunch.

702
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 2: During this lunch, she told me her relationship of one

703
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 2: year and some months was not going well and she

704
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 2: was thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend cool. I

705
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 2: would be like, oh my god. I would be like,

706
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 2: why are you telling.

707
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 3: Me this is an opportunity?

708
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:36,719
Speaker 2: Are you telling me no?

709
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 5: This is an opportunity to get back?

710
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 2: No? I, why are you telling me this?

711
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 4: Well, I'm like, I've been seeing other people too, Yeah,

712
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,479
Speaker 4: And then you say, yeah, seeing a lot of people

713
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,800
Speaker 4: got a whole freaking rosta.

714
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 2: She and him did not agree on kids or not

715
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 2: having kids, and she did not see a future with him.

716
00:30:58,120 --> 00:30:59,959
Speaker 2: We kept in touch through the last two months, and

717
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 2: twelve days ago she broke up with him. She told

718
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 2: me part of the reason was that after talking to me,

719
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 2: she remembered how it was with me when we first

720
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 2: started dating, and how it was not the same with

721
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 2: her boyfriend. I freaking called it. Oh, I freaking called it.

722
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 3: Man, you're the honey hive. She's being called it.

723
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 2: Her dad passes, and then she realizes that opieing her

724
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 2: had a pretty good relationship.

725
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 3: Oh what do I do with all this pault? I

726
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 3: don't know where to go.

727
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 4: I need to go back to the honey hive, that

728
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 4: is you, my friend.

729
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,960
Speaker 2: She and I have been talking a lot in the

730
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 2: last few weeks since the breakup. The first thing she

731
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 2: does after waking up every morning is message me my.

732
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 4: Cat's name is Karen, says, I hate this woman.

733
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 2: And she's been a little bit great great. And then

734
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 2: two days ago she called at seven in the morning

735
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,719
Speaker 2: saying she was at my door with some food. I

736
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 2: had been feeling ill, but I don't remember when I

737
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 2: told her. However, she came with a lot of home

738
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 2: cook food and soups, which she knows I like. I

739
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 2: felt like we were back in time ten years ago.

740
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 2: It's been a very confusing time since then. I'm not

741
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 2: sure what I feel. I think I'm starting to love

742
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 2: her again. She pays me so much attention, which is nice.

743
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 2: She also keeps sending food or bringing it.

744
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 3: Herself because guess who else did them? Her mom?

745
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 4: And that's why he was so like, she loves me

746
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 4: so much.

747
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:16,959
Speaker 2: And then last night she spent the night because I

748
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 2: was too ill to get up and clean after myself.

749
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 2: She spent the night. Did nothing happened between us. But

750
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 2: at the same time, I think she wants to talk

751
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 2: about us dating again. Maybe and I will admit all

752
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,239
Speaker 2: the attention and food and other gestures of love and

753
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 2: care are starting to feel incredible. I'm not sure who

754
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 2: to talk about this. I think I need to keep

755
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 2: her away for a few days to be able to

756
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 2: think clearly. But it has been so long since I

757
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 2: have felt this good about myself, and a lot of

758
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 2: our relationship problems were from how her father acted with me.

759
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 2: So I kept thinking, maybe we can try again, and

760
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 2: this time it will be better. Any advice or anyone

761
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 2: wants to talk to help me think here. I would

762
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 2: really appreciate it. And there is an update.

763
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 4: Dude, I'm kind of stressed. I'm stressing out here. I'm

764
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 4: stressing out here. Oh b if you really want this

765
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 4: to happen, take it.

766
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 2: Slow, take it so slow. I'm like super stressed for you.

767
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 5: But do we think he's gonna take it slow though?

768
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 5: Do we thank you to take it soon?

769
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 6: No?

770
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 2: I think my advice for him is you need to

771
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 2: have a conversation with your ex like asap, say like

772
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 2: sitter down and say hey, sitter down today, I've noticed

773
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 2: you know, seems like maybe you're trying to come back

774
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 2: into my life. Is that your intention? Because if so,

775
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 2: you know either you're interested or not. If you're interested.

776
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 2: Then you say, like, I'm interested, but I want to

777
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 2: take it really slow. I want to make sure that

778
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 2: I'm in a good spitheadspace that you're you just broke

779
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 2: up with someone. I don't know if you're you know,

780
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 2: it was a year and a half.

781
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,920
Speaker 3: So yeah, well it's been twelve days since I we're up.

782
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 2: Real quick, Yeah, twelve days? Do it?

783
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 3: Or nah?

784
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 2: Yeah?

785
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 1: Uh?

786
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 4: What's a better way to do this? Like get together?

787
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 4: That together is a long way back?

788
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 3: Run or nah? Run or stay?

789
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:08,720
Speaker 1: Runner?

790
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 3: Stay?

791
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:13,280
Speaker 4: One is run to is stay? I agree?

792
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 3: I don't know.

793
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 4: He hasn't really seen anyone recently, I.

794
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 2: Think in the four years, really in.

795
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 4: The four years, so he definitely has his eye on

796
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 4: her and that it's the one that has his heart.

797
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 4: She's gone around, not like gone around, but like she's

798
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 4: been seeing other people, seeing if she could do it.

799
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 4: Nothing's really working out. Yeah, And it seemed like but

800
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,720
Speaker 4: like how can you, like, if you are with someone,

801
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 4: how can you let their dad block you?

802
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 6: Like?

803
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 3: How can you let that happen?

804
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,240
Speaker 2: The thing is, I don't think it's a good idea

805
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 2: for them to get to back together, but I think

806
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 2: that he wants to, So I'm giving an advice for

807
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 2: that scenario.

808
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, but there is an update. A lot of people

809
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,400
Speaker 4: are saying run put one for run.

810
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 2: To for stay Robert Spence's two in therapy. As for

811
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 2: the update, it's a mixed bag. On Saturday, she came

812
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,879
Speaker 2: over to talk about a relationship and what we both

813
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 2: wanted and what went wrong. She asked to speak first,

814
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 2: and I really should have talked first instead, but I

815
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,360
Speaker 2: let her say her part, and it was focused on

816
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 2: her relationship with her whole family, how important her father

817
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 2: was to her, how much involved everyone else was in

818
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 2: her relationship with me. She said, sorry for letting her

819
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 2: family and her father in particular, meddle in our marriage.

820
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 2: One of the things which hurt me a lot was

821
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 2: when she mentioned that her ex boyfriend never wanted to

822
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 2: be around her family and hated going to any family

823
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,879
Speaker 2: events or even to a similar simple dinner. She said,

824
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 2: that's when she realized how much easier I had made

825
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 2: things for her in our marriage. It was incredibly artful

826
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,760
Speaker 2: because I remember telling her in so many different ways,

827
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 2: and at many times, even before the passing of her mother,

828
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 2: that I was okay with her family's involvement, but she

829
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,359
Speaker 2: needed to keep some distance between our relationship and her

830
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 2: father in particular.

831
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 4: Dude, that sucks when you mention it and she finally

832
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 4: figures it out. Yeah, after you and someone else, she's like, oh, yeah,

833
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 4: that probably is what I needed to do.

834
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, oh go figure that out. Was you

835
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:01,359
Speaker 2: know you figured out? Go use that on someone else.

836
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 2: She said that one time her father said something nasty

837
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 2: directed at her ex boyfriend and after that time he

838
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:08,920
Speaker 2: refused to be in the same room as him, and

839
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 2: I told her that he was right in doing that.

840
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 2: I reminded her of the time when her father told me,

841
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,600
Speaker 2: after five years of our relationship that he did not

842
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 2: want to give me his blessing for asking you to marry.

843
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,360
Speaker 2: I don't know why, but hearing her say that she

844
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 2: saw her family's behavior towards her boyfriend and that was

845
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,799
Speaker 2: what helped her see how toxic they could be was

846
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 2: really hurtful. Yeah. I mean, that sucks for her to

847
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 2: have to learn that on someone else and not in

848
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 2: your marriage. Like my feelings and my protest did not

849
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 2: matter to her as much. I told her that, and

850
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 2: she had tears in her eyes. Actually, I feel like,

851
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 2: maybe hope he isn't going to get together. I don't know.

852
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 2: There's a lot of left to the story though in

853
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 2: the air right now. She said sorry a lot of

854
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 2: times about it. She said she was young and inexperienced,

855
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 2: and at first and then after her mother passed, she

856
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 2: was scared of losing her father and anything I said

857
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,319
Speaker 2: about him was difficult for her to hear about that.

858
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:01,800
Speaker 2: I remember remember one time we were hosting the family

859
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:04,240
Speaker 2: dinner and her father said her ful things about my cooking,

860
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 2: and I brought it up with her and one of

861
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 2: her siblings, and she refused to hear me, even when

862
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 2: her sister told her she should listen because I was right.

863
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 4: Dang, oh man, you got no, don't don't.

864
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:18,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, you hit Riley's one little thin.

865
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 1: What is it? Riley?

866
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 5: You never you never?

867
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:24,240
Speaker 3: Uh oh you don't.

868
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 4: Now even if like they say something and it's like

869
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:32,080
Speaker 4: I could be better, Like like Kelon at Thanksgiving, he

870
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:32,760
Speaker 4: was like, hey.

871
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 3: It's gonna be real with you.

872
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 4: You're the turkey breast part of the turkey was not

873
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 4: really good. And I was like, dude, thank you for that.

874
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 4: But not a lot of people can take that kind

875
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 4: of criticism. Not a lot of people can like be like,

876
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 4: oh wow.

877
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:45,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I tell it how it is.

878
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 2: I just preempt it. I'm like, oh, it's not that great,

879
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,800
Speaker 2: and then and then expectations can only be raised. Anyway,

880
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 2: When we got talking about her father, the conversation kind

881
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 2: of got away from me. We ended up talking about

882
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 2: him for like two hours. I think she wanted to

883
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 2: get a lot of it off for chess too. It

884
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 2: was very emotional and exhausting, though, as afterwards I did

885
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:08,319
Speaker 2: not have the energy to continue talking. I really wish

886
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,360
Speaker 2: I had talked first, because I wanted to talk to

887
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 2: her about our problems in the bedroom as well, but

888
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 2: we had to make food first. She was saying how

889
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 2: much she missed cooking with me and being around each other.

890
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 2: I guess that's another thing your ex boyfriend did not

891
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 2: appreciate about her.

892
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 3: Okay, well, are we comparing so much?

893
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 2: Yeah? I don't like stop talking about your ex. After

894
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: making lunch together, we just sat eating and talking about

895
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,799
Speaker 2: the few times we had some time for ourselves when

896
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 2: we were married, to mention how much he liked going

897
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,800
Speaker 2: on two road trips we took together after we got married.

898
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 2: For context, we used to have a lot more time

899
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:40,600
Speaker 2: when we first started dating, as we were still studying,

900
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 2: but then after getting jobs and having to take care

901
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 2: of a house, it slowly diminished. After we finished lunch,

902
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 2: I was too tired to continue our conversation, so we

903
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 2: just kind of existed around each other for a little bit.

904
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 2: We did talk about what we should not expect if

905
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 2: we started dating. I told her I want to talk

906
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 2: about our bedroom problems, but maybe not right away. She

907
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 2: told me she wanted to say sorry for not listening

908
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 2: to me about that too. She was a very selfish lover,

909
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,480
Speaker 2: and she told me it was a difficult thing for

910
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 2: her to realize that she ignored my needs in the marriage.

911
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:12,920
Speaker 2: She said, if we date again, she wanted us to

912
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 2: see a relationship counselor together and by herself, to make

913
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 2: our dating life better. I think it's a good idea

914
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,800
Speaker 2: to talk to someone who can help me explain my

915
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:22,399
Speaker 2: side of things to her. I am not confident how

916
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 2: helpful the conversation can be if it's just the two

917
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 2: of us. She has a tendency to talk over me

918
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:29,439
Speaker 2: or to agree with me, but not let me say

919
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,839
Speaker 2: my part. I want to talk to her about it too,

920
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:33,719
Speaker 2: but I think it's better if I wait until we've

921
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 2: found some relationship counselor night.

922
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 3: Okay, mart all right, but.

923
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 2: Still I think the outcome of the conversation yesterday was good.

924
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:42,760
Speaker 2: I want to ask her out on a date tonight,

925
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 2: for maybe Tuesday or Wednesday. She went back to her

926
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:47,800
Speaker 2: house last night, and I missed her presence around me

927
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:49,839
Speaker 2: a lot. I don't know if that is a good

928
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 2: sign or if it means I'm too lonely. When she

929
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 2: was here yesterday, she got a call from one of

930
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 2: her siblings and she mentioned me by name. I was

931
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:00,439
Speaker 2: not listening in, but I just heard her say my name,

932
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 2: so my ears picked up on that part. I feel

933
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:05,840
Speaker 2: like that should be a good sign too, or maybe

934
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:09,839
Speaker 2: I'm just desperate to look for anything positive and take

935
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 2: that as a sign. She wanted to come over today,

936
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 2: but I told her I'm feeling much better and she

937
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 2: doesn't need to cook for me today. Good on you

938
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 2: putting up boundaries, I hope. Also. I spent the morning

939
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,479
Speaker 2: today looking through our old pictures together. It was nice

940
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 2: to remember the person she used to be. I feel

941
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 2: like yesterday I saw a little bit of that person

942
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 2: in her. Am I wrong to want to start something

943
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 2: so soon?

944
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 3: I know?

945
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:34,840
Speaker 2: I said previously that I would wait but waiting for

946
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 2: the sake of it seems pointless. I do want to

947
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 2: take things slow because I want us to find a

948
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 2: relationship councilor soon. But I am afraid I will lose

949
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:45,840
Speaker 2: her if I show no interest and there is an update.

950
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 3: But what's the poligan run? I think run eighty.

951
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 4: Six percent runs. It's just confusing. Why do you want

952
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 4: to work on the what? Also, what does she want

953
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 4: out of this?

954
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:57,320
Speaker 1: Yeah?

955
00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 3: I don't understand that too.

956
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:00,640
Speaker 4: If she wants a relationship, why aren't we be working

957
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:02,839
Speaker 4: on it now, and why did we work on it earlier?

958
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 2: The thing is that I think, Yeah, I think that

959
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 2: her father really, you know, had a huge sway on

960
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,400
Speaker 2: her understanding of the relationship. I think that she didn't

961
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,879
Speaker 2: like the relationship. She was justin broke up and now

962
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,319
Speaker 2: she's like, oh, reminiscing about the past and not really

963
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,239
Speaker 2: thinking about all the reasons that they broke up and

964
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 2: that they did break up and divorce, like it's not

965
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 2: even just a breakup, this is a divorce.

966
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:29,319
Speaker 6: Yeah, she didn't know what she lost until she like

967
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 6: lost it, and then she's like, oh, I.

968
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 5: Have someone young. I have a young buck and he sucks.

969
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:36,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

970
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:40,279
Speaker 2: And also the kind of frame the frame of mind

971
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 2: for Ope to be like, oh, if I don't show

972
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 2: any interest, if I go too slow, she's gonna lose interest.

973
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 2: If she was actually serious about wanting to fix the relationship,

974
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 2: then she wouldn't leave after you know, yeah a moment,

975
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:55,959
Speaker 2: she would. She would take the time to work on it.

976
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 6: It seems like she can't also make her own decisions. Yeah,

977
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 6: like she just needs her dat. She had her dad

978
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 6: in her ear and she's like, I'll do whatever he says, and.

979
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 2: Jem says, this would be a different and totally new relationship.

980
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 2: Can't have the same thing again it turns out bad.

981
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 2: That's a great point. That's a really great point. Like

982
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 2: when you get back with an X, like there has

983
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 2: to be a talk about like, this is not the

984
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 2: same relationship that we had that before because that one

985
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 2: didn't work.

986
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, this is a new one that's on both parties.

987
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:24,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, agreed, but there is an update. Oh boy,

988
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 2: we got back together, but we are living separately at

989
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 2: the moment. Yeah, don't live together immediately, that would be crazy.

990
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 2: I would also we started couple's therapy. Great, oh boy,

991
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:38,439
Speaker 2: I am hopeful about my life and I will try

992
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 2: my best to remember to update here at some point

993
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 2: in the future. Anyway, here's what I wrote. My ex

994
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 2: wife and I have reconnected over the last few months.

995
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 2: About two months ago, she brought up how she wanted

996
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 2: to officially give it another go, so we had a

997
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 2: long talk about it. We talked about the past, in

998
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 2: particular the state of our marriage towards the end, and

999
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:58,880
Speaker 2: how much of it was because of my father in

1000
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 2: law and how much of it was instead because of

1001
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:04,760
Speaker 2: her and me. She has been going to therapy about

1002
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 2: her father's death, which I did not know about before.

1003
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 2: She said she hasn't told anyone in the family either,

1004
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,879
Speaker 2: so I am not surprised. But anyway, she talked about

1005
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 2: a relationship with him quite a lot. It was surprising

1006
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 2: to hear her so to hear so much reflection from

1007
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 2: her about it, and honestly, it meant a lot to

1008
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 2: me that she decided to open up about it. She

1009
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 2: has struggled all her life about her father's shadow over her,

1010
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 2: and she acknowledged that it is a little late for

1011
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:32,239
Speaker 2: the broken up marriage as she now knows better. She

1012
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 2: brought up therapy for us as a couple again, and

1013
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:37,840
Speaker 2: I told her we need to do it if we

1014
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 2: are going to start dating again. She asked if we

1015
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 2: are dating again, and I said, I asked the last time,

1016
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 2: so you have to, so you have to this time. Haha.

1017
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 2: So I guess it's official. I feel like, you know what.

1018
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:53,720
Speaker 2: I feel like. I want to be positive. I feel

1019
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 2: like they are making the right steps to fix this.

1020
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 3: Want will make it work out.

1021
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:00,960
Speaker 2: I want to think positively about this. Maybe it won't

1022
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 2: work out, but you know what, they're.

1023
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 3: Adults forbidden love.

1024
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 4: Right now and it's such a rom com dude.

1025
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:09,840
Speaker 2: I think, op, he is taking the right steps to

1026
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 2: ensure that this isn't just gooda like, he's not rushing

1027
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 2: into it. They're thinking about it.

1028
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:15,280
Speaker 3: True.

1029
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 2: However, we talked about keeping separate places for a while,

1030
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 2: just for the convenience of things and forgiving each other space.

1031
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 2: Things are slower this time around. She hasn't told any

1032
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 2: of her siblings, and I get the feeling her family

1033
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:28,399
Speaker 2: is not as close as they used to be when

1034
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 2: her parents were alive. There are no official family get

1035
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:37,239
Speaker 2: together's events other than Christmas in Easter. Oh. I think

1036
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 2: it's better for her that her siblings are not constantly

1037
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 2: around anymore. It gives her more space to find herself

1038
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 2: in a way, but it's bittersweet feeling because I loved

1039
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 2: her parents' time of getting together as a big family

1040
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 2: every once in a while. Anyway, we decided to make

1041
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,279
Speaker 2: it official, but I am at a loss about where

1042
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,239
Speaker 2: the relationship is now. I keep calling her my ex

1043
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 2: wife here, but she's also my girlfriend. So if there

1044
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,719
Speaker 2: is a word for please let me know. What about

1045
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,240
Speaker 2: my ex wife's now girlfriend?

1046
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:05,120
Speaker 3: What about her name?

1047
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 2: That's true?

1048
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 3: Why can't we just call her name my partner?

1049
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 2: It's a new feeling. So there is familiarity in this relationship,

1050
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,360
Speaker 2: but it is also very different than from last time.

1051
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:18,920
Speaker 2: We are not so young a naive. We have found

1052
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 2: a couple's therapists and have already gone for two three

1053
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:24,719
Speaker 2: therapy events. It is helpful to have the therapist in

1054
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 2: our conversations. It helps me talk without her talking over

1055
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:31,359
Speaker 2: or agreeing, and then continuing my conversation on her own.

1056
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:34,359
Speaker 2: She's getting better at listening to me, she said, how

1057
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,880
Speaker 2: she grew up having to always listen to either her

1058
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 2: father or her older siblings. She is the youngest sibling.

1059
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 2: I don't remember if I have mentioned that before, so

1060
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 2: with me, she felt like she had to talk the most.

1061
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 2: It makes sense when she explains it, but it's like

1062
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:49,799
Speaker 2: I was the only one around her she could talk to,

1063
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 2: so she got into the habit of not listening as well.

1064
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 2: But we're working on it. Also. I need to be

1065
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 2: much stronger in conversations, which I'm working on as well.

1066
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 2: It feels weird to be two adult people on having

1067
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 2: to learn how to talk all over again. I will

1068
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:07,799
Speaker 2: admit that I had my doubts about therapists being able

1069
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 2: to really help, but I'm really glad about being wrong.

1070
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 2: It doesn't seem like they went to a therapist when

1071
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 2: they were first, you know, going mm hmmm. I feel

1072
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 2: like it's good that they're you know, they're they're taking.

1073
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:22,120
Speaker 4: Their taking their steps, talking, communicating a lot. I just

1074
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 4: want to know why the dad didn't like them, That's

1075
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 4: what I want to know.

1076
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:28,360
Speaker 2: I think he's just a bitter old man who lost

1077
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 2: his you know, wife and didn't know how to be

1078
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:33,479
Speaker 2: a nice person.

1079
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 3: I don't want to lose his daughter. Yeah.

1080
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:38,840
Speaker 2: Not everything is good news, though, And she had to

1081
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,279
Speaker 2: get a court order against her ex for ABU, so

1082
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 2: I don't think she's in danger. But she said I

1083
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 2: should not write details about it here. Also, I am

1084
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:49,400
Speaker 2: still struggling with loneliness, but I am trying to not

1085
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 2: fix it by this relationship. I also think that you

1086
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 2: guys need to like it seems like you don't really

1087
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:55,520
Speaker 2: I don't know about her, but at least you don't

1088
00:46:55,680 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 2: really have a lot of like friendship outside of Yeah.

1089
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:00,680
Speaker 3: You know.

1090
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 2: It doesn't seem like you've ever really had that outlet.

1091
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 2: So I think like putting an effort to find friends

1092
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 2: for you and someone who's not your partner true to

1093
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:13,000
Speaker 2: rely on Yeah. I have started talking to more people

1094
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:14,760
Speaker 2: at work there you go. Also, some of the people

1095
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:17,439
Speaker 2: here who messaged me have been really amazing. I joined

1096
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 2: a small gaming group because of a message, and I'm

1097
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,399
Speaker 2: really happy about it. There are a lot of good

1098
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 2: and kind people who wished me well, which I'm really

1099
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:28,239
Speaker 2: grateful for, and after a long time in my life,

1100
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 2: I feel positive about my future. At the moment, I

1101
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 2: should probably message people more often, but coming to this

1102
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 2: website is always difficult because of how many hateful messages

1103
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:40,000
Speaker 2: and comments pop up. Address some things that bothered me

1104
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 2: a lot from the comments. No, my late father in

1105
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:45,720
Speaker 2: law was not a racist person. He had a complicated life.

1106
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:47,799
Speaker 2: His family struggled a lot, and so he had a

1107
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:51,439
Speaker 2: very rough childhood and early adult life. He worked hard

1108
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 2: all his life to make a better home for his children.

1109
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,280
Speaker 2: None of you know him, and the weirdly hostile comments

1110
00:47:56,320 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 2: about him are uncalled for. He's passed now, but please

1111
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 2: let him rest. He was not a perfect person, but

1112
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,920
Speaker 2: he was a good father despite his flaws. My ex

1113
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:08,719
Speaker 2: wife was not cheating on our previous boyfriend. We were

1114
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 2: talking in messages and nothing happened. Her boyfriend was abusive

1115
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:14,279
Speaker 2: towards her and she was scared and she needed a

1116
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 2: friendly person she knew just to talk about it. I

1117
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,319
Speaker 2: really hope that people have been constantly messaging me about

1118
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 2: how she's a terrible person or worse where both terrible

1119
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 2: people are never put in an abusive situation. She was

1120
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:30,320
Speaker 2: trying to survive the best way she could, and despite

1121
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 2: us both wanting to, we did not do anything while

1122
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 2: she was actually dating the ex. Everyone keeps questioning why

1123
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:38,840
Speaker 2: my late father in law hated me. I think I

1124
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:41,879
Speaker 2: might not have written some previous posts very well. He

1125
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 2: did not just hate me. He hated everyone outside of

1126
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 2: his family. That is important to know. My ex wife

1127
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 2: has many sisters and he didn't get along with any

1128
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:51,960
Speaker 2: of their husbands. I was the favorite son in law,

1129
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 2: but that might just be because my ex wife is

1130
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 2: the youngest child. Also, my late mother in law loved me,

1131
00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:59,479
Speaker 2: which carried over to my late father in law as well.

1132
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:01,960
Speaker 2: Difficult person to get along with, but he did not

1133
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 2: just hate me, or at least he did not hate

1134
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,239
Speaker 2: me the most. I don't know why he was like that,

1135
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 2: but he had a complicated life, like I said before,

1136
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:12,760
Speaker 2: but you know it's not complicated listening to full episodes

1137
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 2: with stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

1138
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 2: or your favorite podcast to happen Sir job Ogey story

1139
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 2: time Boom boom boom. And there is a little bit

1140
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 2: left to this story. But Sophie says Opie should have

1141
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 2: done therapy when they split so he could recover properly.

1142
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 2: She wants kids, et cetera. She might not want to

1143
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 2: look around and try dating after her failed attempt with

1144
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 2: her ex.

1145
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:37,360
Speaker 4: Also, it feels like they're both going to the default.

1146
00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:41,240
Speaker 4: They've known each other for nine years. Absolutely, my ex,

1147
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,840
Speaker 4: I'm breaking up with my ax. Oh, I know that

1148
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 4: my other ex.

1149
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:47,239
Speaker 2: Is there, and it is like someone safe so what

1150
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 2: I know.

1151
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:52,360
Speaker 4: And I know he mentions that he's not lonely and

1152
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 4: he's trying to get over the loneliness, and he doesn't

1153
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:55,840
Speaker 4: want to be in this relationship because of loneliness.

1154
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:59,959
Speaker 3: That's the case. He there because of he is lonely.

1155
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:02,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think he is there in part

1156
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 2: of loneliness, which is I mean, you know, sad, it

1157
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:08,879
Speaker 2: is sad, and he is normal. Is normal to want

1158
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 2: to do that. I think he and it seems like

1159
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 2: he is aware, but I think he just needs to

1160
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 2: be very aware and bring this up in therapy so

1161
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:20,360
Speaker 2: he doesn't rely on his wife as a person to

1162
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 2: escape loneliness. Like, no, this is like I want to

1163
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 2: be in this relationship because I want to be in

1164
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:27,440
Speaker 2: this relationship with you, not because I'm sad and hour

1165
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 2: I'm lonely or I have no one else.

1166
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:31,560
Speaker 5: And that goes for anyone listening or watching.

1167
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 6: Your partner should not be your main source of happiness

1168
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 6: or you know, fixing your loneliness.

1169
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 1: That's not how it should be.

1170
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 2: Exactly absolutely, because that's a lot for you and also

1171
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:44,920
Speaker 2: a lot for the person to like a lot of

1172
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 2: baggage for that person. Yeah, yeah, I think it's just

1173
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:50,319
Speaker 2: like always your partner should never be your you know,

1174
00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 2: the only person that you're in the support group.

1175
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,520
Speaker 4: I mean that should be your priority in absolute Yeah,

1176
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 4: priority is to talk on the only person you hang

1177
00:50:58,239 --> 00:50:59,200
Speaker 4: out with support group.

1178
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, says The fact that he was treated the best

1179
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:04,279
Speaker 2: out of all the sister in laws says something too.

1180
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1181
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 2: I mean his father led to everyone, but he hated

1182
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 2: Op the least.

1183
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:12,759
Speaker 5: I guess that's you take what you can get.

1184
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:16,840
Speaker 2: Goodness, gracious, dude, do you have any final thoughts? Riley?

1185
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:18,720
Speaker 2: That will take five minutes?

1186
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 3: No, we're already at like seven minut You can just finish.

1187
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:24,640
Speaker 2: It well to say a final thought? I did final.

1188
00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 6: Thoughts, No thoughts, Just keep doing what you're doing, OPI. Honestly,

1189
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:32,200
Speaker 6: the therapy is great. This was a pretty good ending

1190
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 6: to a story like we also.

1191
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 2: Freaking four years man, or actually even longer.

1192
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 5: Than yeah, way longer.

1193
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1194
00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:41,000
Speaker 2: However, a lot of comments and even more messages from

1195
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,920
Speaker 2: that time are really hostile towards my ex wife in particular.

1196
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 2: I don't want to address these messages because those these

1197
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 2: people don't need any more fuel for their hate. But

1198
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:52,399
Speaker 2: please remember that the people you're reading about are real

1199
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 2: people people, not just stories on your posts. And that

1200
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:56,640
Speaker 2: is the end of that story.

1201
00:51:56,760 --> 00:52:00,120
Speaker 3: Dang, Yeah, that was one heck of a heck of

1202
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:01,840
Speaker 3: a saga. Kodness gracious.

1203
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:05,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think Lisa marisas now it's negative, But sadly,

1204
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 2: I think twelve months down the line, or six months

1205
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 2: after they move in together, it will end again, you think, so,

1206
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:13,919
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think that they're taking the rights.

1207
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 2: I'm hopeful. I'm actually pretty hopeful about this because I

1208
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 2: think that they are taking the right steps. Yeah, I think,

1209
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:24,360
Speaker 2: of course there's always a chance that this could not

1210
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 2: work out, but I think that's true of any relationship.

1211
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:30,759
Speaker 4: They could be taking the right steps. I just I

1212
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:33,600
Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. One, why did the dad

1213
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:34,359
Speaker 4: hate Op?

1214
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 2: Two?

1215
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:35,719
Speaker 3: Why did she?

1216
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:37,960
Speaker 4: I mean, I understand why she gave up, but why

1217
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:39,359
Speaker 4: did she all of a sudden we want to get

1218
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:40,360
Speaker 4: back with Op.

1219
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 2: Because I think she's taken four years and she's been

1220
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:46,320
Speaker 2: in a relationship that wasn't great. And I'm sure it's

1221
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 2: you know, I'm sure there is some bias or like

1222
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:53,640
Speaker 2: or there is something of there's just like seeing that

1223
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 2: this API is safe.

1224
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 4: There's big there's this big elephant in the room no

1225
00:52:57,160 --> 00:52:58,959
Speaker 4: one's talking about, and I don't know what it looks

1226
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 4: like or really what it is is we're not addressing

1227
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:02,200
Speaker 4: it head on.

1228
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:04,279
Speaker 2: Well, I think that's what therapy is for. Leesbury says

1229
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:06,439
Speaker 2: they are taking the right steps, but he is too

1230
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:08,520
Speaker 2: lonely and will make her his world and she is

1231
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:11,239
Speaker 2: using him as a safety net after an abusive relationship.

1232
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 2: And I think, yeah, I think that's a possibility. But yeah,

1233
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 2: I think that if they go to therapy and they

1234
00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:19,000
Speaker 2: put in the work and stuff and have these conversations,

1235
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 2: probably have to work out because they didn't have that before.

1236
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,560
Speaker 2: It seems like op was pretty kind of either didn't

1237
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:27,279
Speaker 2: believe in therapy or just like hesitant about it, and

1238
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 2: now is a little bit more you know, okay.

1239
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 3: With doing it.

1240
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:34,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think a good relationship is being having a

1241
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 2: good relationship with your partner, having a good relationship with yourself,

1242
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:40,840
Speaker 2: and having a good relationship with your support your broader

1243
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:45,200
Speaker 2: support system. True, but that is the end of that episode.

1244
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 1: Hey y'all, it's John og host here.

1245
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:48,440
Speaker 7: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1246
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:50,400
Speaker 7: quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

1247
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 1: This is an episode from deep within the archives.

1248
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:55,600
Speaker 5: Time for okop relash.

1249
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:00,439
Speaker 7: It's just crazy because I evicted my fiance. But you'll

1250
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 7: never guess why I had to do it.

1251
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 1: You just had to do it.

1252
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:04,759
Speaker 3: I just have to.

1253
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 1: I just have to. I don't care if we're married.

1254
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,040
Speaker 1: I care that I want you out of a house.

1255
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 1: I want it. Yeah. Yeah, we want to say we

1256
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:16,560
Speaker 1: share a life, not living quarters. Back to me, I

1257
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:18,680
Speaker 1: said I wanted to marry you and not live with you.

1258
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:20,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, why would you ever think.

1259
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:24,640
Speaker 1: That death to us part except you know, the whole

1260
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:29,400
Speaker 1: part of life. Except like I want us to be separate,

1261
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:32,880
Speaker 1: in separate houses and rooms and yeah, never talk to

1262
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:34,880
Speaker 1: each other. You'll actually you know, it just makes it

1263
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:36,600
Speaker 1: a good point. Should we just get a divorce?

1264
00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:40,200
Speaker 3: Why don't we stop before we get started?

1265
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:44,520
Speaker 7: I twenty five female, own a beautiful four bedroom house.

1266
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:44,960
Speaker 1: Flex.

1267
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:48,479
Speaker 7: I bought it when I was twenty three, flex after

1268
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:51,640
Speaker 7: letting my business partner take our shared assets in exchange

1269
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:52,919
Speaker 7: for six hundred.

1270
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 1: Thousand bucker rooneys FLEs. It'll be flexing me like three

1271
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 1: times right out the gate. Seriously, Like I.

1272
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:04,440
Speaker 3: Get there rich, I gave my assets and you gave

1273
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:05,280
Speaker 3: me six hundred.

1274
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:10,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, what assets assets?

1275
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:14,879
Speaker 7: Oh god, Now we owned a few properties together since

1276
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:18,080
Speaker 7: we had bought our first place at twenty or twenty one. Damn,

1277
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 7: let's not me again, bro. We did this back when

1278
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 7: we were dating. Even though we didn't work out, we

1279
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:27,880
Speaker 7: stayed in business together. I closed on my own house

1280
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:30,560
Speaker 7: a few months after my twenty third birthday. I had

1281
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:33,440
Speaker 7: only been working part time while I was managing our properties,

1282
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 7: so aside from my bed and some little things from

1283
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:38,719
Speaker 7: my apartment, I stayed in the house for months, which

1284
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:39,800
Speaker 7: was basically empty.

1285
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 1: Ok.

1286
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 3: I had always wanted to be a pastry chef.

1287
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:47,360
Speaker 1: I love how she goes from like tycoon business woman

1288
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 1: with six hundred K to a pastry chef. Like that's

1289
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:54,880
Speaker 1: sounds sick. I love it very different. Oh yeah, yeah,

1290
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:58,480
Speaker 1: I need the need. I mean I have the need.

1291
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 7: There's a local community college program that lets you get

1292
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 7: your certificate in almost anything for free with just sixteen

1293
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 7: weeks of classes.

1294
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:10,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. I like low key community colleges. So sec there's

1295
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:12,720
Speaker 1: they have diving classes that's uh Santa Monica.

1296
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,719
Speaker 7: And if you choose to continue afterwards, your credits will

1297
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:16,239
Speaker 7: roll over to the next place you go.

1298
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:16,840
Speaker 1: Amazing.

1299
00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:20,880
Speaker 7: That's when I met my fiance James Mail twenty seven.

1300
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 1: Oh James, God, James. He's a pastry chef that knew

1301
00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:28,680
Speaker 1: his way around that dough. Oh god, he could need

1302
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 1: that thing. What could he do to these lips? And

1303
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:35,840
Speaker 1: I'm talking about the lips underneath these lips, Oh God,

1304
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:38,879
Speaker 1: to need those around. That's one pastry you don't need

1305
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:42,080
Speaker 1: to be careful with. Mm. Yeah, just just have your

1306
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:46,320
Speaker 1: way with it. Fill me with your cream. I want to.

1307
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 1: I want to cream filled jelly donut.

1308
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:55,840
Speaker 7: This got this got too intimate. We get so apologize

1309
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:58,360
Speaker 7: for being turned off. Oh wow, you know what you know?

1310
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:02,759
Speaker 7: I my fetish are my own Sam. Okay, God, let

1311
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:06,520
Speaker 7: me have my face. James was a chef at a

1312
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:11,080
Speaker 7: high end restaurants Ooh Swanky. He had been working there

1313
00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:13,440
Speaker 7: since he was sixteen, and he started as a busser

1314
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:14,400
Speaker 7: and worked his way.

1315
00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:15,680
Speaker 3: All the way up to the top.

1316
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:19,320
Speaker 1: Baby. Oh yeah, he's worked his way so much to

1317
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:21,000
Speaker 1: the top that he could be on top of me.

1318
00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:24,720
Speaker 7: Oh oh well. He had a lot of experience. He

1319
00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:26,560
Speaker 7: wanted to have a degree to back it up.

1320
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 1: Nice.

1321
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:29,120
Speaker 7: We hit it off pretty quickly. He even taught me

1322
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 7: how to drive, helped me develop recipes and helped me

1323
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:33,960
Speaker 7: pick out the perfect spot for my own bakery.

1324
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:37,720
Speaker 1: Okay, James, dude, James is helping out.

1325
00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:38,560
Speaker 3: Dude, he's great.

1326
00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:39,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's killing it.

1327
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:42,800
Speaker 7: He proposed to me in Jamaica on August eighth, twenty

1328
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:43,400
Speaker 7: twenty two.

1329
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:49,160
Speaker 1: Wow, ingrats, Gratso dude, this man is doing it. D Yeah, dude, yeah,

1330
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:54,320
Speaker 1: uh was it in Jake, make a jake, make a jake,

1331
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:55,840
Speaker 1: make her very happy?

1332
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:57,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, except it's James.

1333
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:02,080
Speaker 7: Oh, James makers right there.

1334
00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 3: It was right there. That's fun. Have a less basic name. James.

1335
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:10,720
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean James. Yes, it's James.

1336
00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 7: I was like, wait, wait, hold on, I got to

1337
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 7: check myself when we got back home from Jamaica.

1338
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 1: I'm moved in with him. Oh okay, So things seem

1339
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:23,960
Speaker 1: to be progressing as a normal fiance relationship would, and

1340
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:27,040
Speaker 1: it's going to end perfectly. Yeah, right right, according to

1341
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 1: the title, it was, it was great, right. We lived

1342
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,640
Speaker 1: happily ever after. So I started my life as a

1343
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 1: pastry shop. Yeah, that's it.

1344
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 7: I've been perfecting recipes in my house as I had

1345
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:40,640
Speaker 7: taken the time to make the kitchen to my own liking.

1346
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:46,440
Speaker 1: Okay, she's living with James in his house. Yes, but

1347
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:50,720
Speaker 1: she's baking in this four bedroom house that she was

1348
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:51,400
Speaker 1: talking about.

1349
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:52,760
Speaker 3: She had her perfect kitchen.

1350
00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1351
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:55,000
Speaker 7: I tend to put my phone on do not disturb,

1352
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 7: but just to make sure I have no distractions.

1353
00:58:57,960 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 1: Uh, I'm baking. Do not disturb me. Do not even

1354
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:02,840
Speaker 1: look at me.

1355
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:06,000
Speaker 7: There have been a few times where I've missed calls

1356
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,560
Speaker 7: from James, and I see that it really bothers him.

1357
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:11,000
Speaker 7: But it's not like I go at random times and

1358
00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:13,120
Speaker 7: I have a set schedule, and I have a set

1359
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:15,080
Speaker 7: schedule that I rarely deviate from.

1360
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:15,160
Speaker 6: You.

1361
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:18,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm baking from nine am to nine pm. Come

1362
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:21,640
Speaker 1: on every fricing day, James. I know we just got married,

1363
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:24,280
Speaker 1: but get the fuck out of my banking Come on,

1364
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:26,320
Speaker 1: get the fuck out of my bakerry.

1365
00:59:27,520 --> 00:59:30,280
Speaker 7: About a week ago, I finished up baking quite early

1366
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:32,600
Speaker 7: and ended up taking a nap while my phone was

1367
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:36,120
Speaker 7: still on do not disturb. Okay, I woke up to

1368
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:41,240
Speaker 7: James banging on the door. He told me he'd been

1369
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:43,720
Speaker 7: calling me for hours straight.

1370
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 1: Were you supposed to meet up or something? Maybe?

1371
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 7: I told him I had forgotten to take my phone

1372
00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 7: off do not disturb. He suggested that he should have

1373
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 7: a key that he could use for emergencies or in

1374
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:56,360
Speaker 7: case something happens from my place.

1375
00:59:56,600 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 1: Yo, slow down, what do you think we're married? Yeah?

1376
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 3: Yes, guess guess what she told him, Sam?

1377
01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:03,320
Speaker 1: What she said?

1378
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:04,240
Speaker 3: No?

1379
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:08,000
Speaker 1: How fare you? Does she have a key to his place?

1380
01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 1: She lives there? Does that not seem a little? It

1381
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:11,760
Speaker 1: seems a little.

1382
01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:14,800
Speaker 7: Unbalanced, Sam, she should get the key to his house?

1383
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:17,520
Speaker 7: Why would she ever give her key to him?

1384
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:24,440
Speaker 1: Why? What? Equality? Yeah? What being fair? Disgusting? I think

1385
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 1: you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right,

1386
01:00:26,320 --> 01:00:30,480
Speaker 1: you know, to your side, Like this is a weird

1387
01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:32,080
Speaker 1: relationship dynamic, all right?

1388
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 6: Now?

1389
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:35,240
Speaker 1: You know, you know I was, I was rooting for

1390
01:00:35,240 --> 01:00:37,240
Speaker 1: for James. But now she's just kind of like.

1391
01:00:37,640 --> 01:00:43,280
Speaker 7: She she's she's fumbling the back James bro head chef

1392
01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:44,640
Speaker 7: for posing in Jamaica.

1393
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 6: God.

1394
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:49,560
Speaker 7: So the reason I said no is because this is

1395
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:53,080
Speaker 7: my safe space and I'm still adjusting to living with

1396
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 7: someone together. The other day, when I finished baking, I

1397
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 7: noticed it was raining, and I decided to call James

1398
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:01,080
Speaker 7: because I don't feel comfort for driving in the rain.

1399
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:03,280
Speaker 7: He didn't call me when he got here, He just

1400
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:05,520
Speaker 7: knocked on the door, and when I opened it, He

1401
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:09,720
Speaker 7: started complaining about getting wet while waiting for me and

1402
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:12,360
Speaker 7: said that he wouldn't have to wait if he had

1403
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:13,280
Speaker 7: a key.

1404
01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:17,600
Speaker 1: He's making great points, you know, he's making great points

1405
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:21,840
Speaker 1: if you're gonna marry like I would give. I'm not

1406
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 1: married to my girlfriend. Yeah, like we don't have keys

1407
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:28,280
Speaker 1: for each other, but we have like lock boxes. Yeah,

1408
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:29,960
Speaker 1: you know, and she has she she might as well

1409
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 1: have a key because she knows that.

1410
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 3: She comes and goes as she comes and goes.

1411
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:40,520
Speaker 1: And she pleases. Yeah, yeah she does. I'm sorry, you know,

1412
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:43,680
Speaker 1: I respectfully responsibility for that one.

1413
01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:46,320
Speaker 3: Respectfully. They'll catchy for him.

1414
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:50,680
Speaker 1: But yeah, that just seems like it seems like she's like,

1415
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:54,480
Speaker 1: like when you're getting married, I feel you you should

1416
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:56,680
Speaker 1: share equally, And it just doesn't seem like there's an

1417
01:01:56,720 --> 01:01:59,800
Speaker 1: equal sharing right here. If he's opening up his place,

1418
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 1: she should open up hers.

1419
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:05,000
Speaker 7: That's the thing. Plane and simple, plain and simple. I

1420
01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:07,560
Speaker 7: pointed out that he could have just called me and

1421
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:09,160
Speaker 7: I would have just come to the car.

1422
01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:13,600
Speaker 1: Not true. She's do not disturb, well then.

1423
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:17,360
Speaker 3: Hack apple, turn it off.

1424
01:02:18,280 --> 01:02:20,920
Speaker 1: Simple show John out here.

1425
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:24,560
Speaker 7: He said that wasn't the point, and me not giving

1426
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:30,560
Speaker 7: him a key was a slap in the face. Oh,

1427
01:02:30,680 --> 01:02:33,640
Speaker 7: yesterday I noticed he had one of those minute keys

1428
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:34,880
Speaker 7: in his glove compartments.

1429
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:37,360
Speaker 1: Oh shit, so he copied the key without her consent?

1430
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 7: Oh yes, I found it while I was looking for

1431
01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:44,480
Speaker 7: my lip glass that I left in his car, and

1432
01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 7: I immediately knew what he did.

1433
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 1: Oh shit.

1434
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:51,760
Speaker 7: So I called my brother to help me change the locks.

1435
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:54,640
Speaker 7: Last night at dinner, I let him know I found

1436
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:57,600
Speaker 7: the key, and I told him he wouldn't be able

1437
01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:00,360
Speaker 7: to use it on anything because I changed the lox

1438
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 7: and he is out really now, Okay, then we had

1439
01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:09,480
Speaker 7: a huge argument and we literally haven't even spoken since.

1440
01:03:10,080 --> 01:03:11,880
Speaker 3: Am I the ale?

1441
01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:17,280
Speaker 1: Okay? I would like to first point out that this

1442
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:24,120
Speaker 1: relationship seems to not be great, like like like there's

1443
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:26,919
Speaker 1: some issues all righty, Like if you're having all these

1444
01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:29,400
Speaker 1: like I'm not saying like don't get married, but you

1445
01:03:29,520 --> 01:03:31,640
Speaker 1: got a lot to talk about before you actually go

1446
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:34,840
Speaker 1: through this with this wedding. Yeah. So I think everyone's

1447
01:03:34,920 --> 01:03:37,080
Speaker 1: kind of the a hole here a little bit. So

1448
01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:41,960
Speaker 1: I think ops the a hole for not giving like

1449
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:46,640
Speaker 1: a key to her place. Yeah, Like if if you're

1450
01:03:46,680 --> 01:03:49,160
Speaker 1: living in his place, yes, and you have a key

1451
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:51,680
Speaker 1: to his place, and you're getting married. So if you

1452
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:54,760
Speaker 1: are getting married, right, if she has a key to

1453
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:58,160
Speaker 1: his place, I just I really think that he should

1454
01:03:58,280 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 1: also have a key to her place. Yeah, I think

1455
01:04:00,360 --> 01:04:03,560
Speaker 1: it's fair. I think marriage is about sharing. It's about like,

1456
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:06,480
Speaker 1: like you know, putting your life together. Like why get

1457
01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:09,120
Speaker 1: married if you're not going to actually like share what

1458
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:10,960
Speaker 1: you what you have to get? Like that isn't that

1459
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:12,160
Speaker 1: like what marriage is? Yeah?

1460
01:04:12,160 --> 01:04:15,600
Speaker 7: And and and again, like specifically because she has a

1461
01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:18,280
Speaker 7: key and lives in his place, Yeah, it's like that's

1462
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:20,640
Speaker 7: there's just I don't know, I just can't see a

1463
01:04:20,680 --> 01:04:21,240
Speaker 7: reason why.

1464
01:04:21,360 --> 01:04:23,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like there needs to be something parody here.

1465
01:04:23,960 --> 01:04:27,560
Speaker 1: But two, I do think James is the a whole

1466
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:30,320
Speaker 1: a little bit too, Yes, because like obviously she has

1467
01:04:30,320 --> 01:04:33,160
Speaker 1: some weird thing about not giving the key to her

1468
01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:36,040
Speaker 1: place to this guy, which big red flag if you

1469
01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:39,240
Speaker 1: don't trust this guy enough to give a key to him,

1470
01:04:39,240 --> 01:04:42,000
Speaker 1: not because of anything James did, but just because like

1471
01:04:42,240 --> 01:04:46,200
Speaker 1: a relationship doesn't seem solid, but like James knowing that

1472
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:49,080
Speaker 1: you were like insecure about that or feeling weird about that,

1473
01:04:49,120 --> 01:04:51,760
Speaker 1: Like they shouldn't have gone behind your back, no and

1474
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:53,960
Speaker 1: created a key like that that doesn't show a lot

1475
01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:55,680
Speaker 1: of trust either. I think there's a lack of trust

1476
01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:56,320
Speaker 1: in both sides.

1477
01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:58,560
Speaker 7: And yeah, like I feel like like and also like

1478
01:04:58,640 --> 01:05:00,560
Speaker 7: the do not disturb thing also I caught on too,

1479
01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:02,840
Speaker 7: because it's like it's like a little thing of her

1480
01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:07,600
Speaker 7: Like James is like, okay, like there's times where I

1481
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:09,920
Speaker 7: would like to get in touch with you. You know,

1482
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:11,880
Speaker 7: you don't have to, you know, have it on all

1483
01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:14,200
Speaker 7: the time if you prefer doing that for work or whatever.

1484
01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:16,760
Speaker 7: But it just seems like she kind of just like

1485
01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:19,000
Speaker 7: swept aside his like.

1486
01:05:19,160 --> 01:05:22,200
Speaker 1: Concern without what it seems like she like she's really

1487
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:26,000
Speaker 1: inconveniencing him. Yeah, Like I don't know if you caught it,

1488
01:05:26,080 --> 01:05:27,840
Speaker 1: but she's like, yeah, it was raining, I didn't want

1489
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:30,920
Speaker 1: to drive, so I called him to come over to

1490
01:05:31,120 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 1: drive me, and I'm waiting in the rain. Could I

1491
01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:38,280
Speaker 1: just please have a key to your place to wait

1492
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:41,000
Speaker 1: in the rain the other time, Like I imagine I

1493
01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:43,920
Speaker 1: shouldn't say this, but I imagined they had planned to

1494
01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:46,080
Speaker 1: meet and she fell asleep and he was going to

1495
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:48,520
Speaker 1: pick her up because she doesn't maybe drive well or whatever,

1496
01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:50,400
Speaker 1: because she said she had trouble driving in the rain

1497
01:05:51,440 --> 01:05:52,320
Speaker 1: or doesn't have a car.

1498
01:05:52,560 --> 01:05:56,000
Speaker 3: He taught she doesn't like to drive, right, Yeah.

1499
01:05:55,520 --> 01:05:57,920
Speaker 1: But like they were probably supposed to meet and he's

1500
01:05:57,960 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 1: waiting for fucking three hours, she's napping. I mean, I

1501
01:06:04,080 --> 01:06:09,600
Speaker 1: understand James's frustration or sure should have he got? Should

1502
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:11,360
Speaker 1: he have gone behind your back? And the copy of

1503
01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:14,240
Speaker 1: the key? Now? No, But I like, I understand where

1504
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:14,800
Speaker 1: it's coming from.

1505
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:17,840
Speaker 7: I totally get I totally get it. But you know

1506
01:06:17,880 --> 01:06:20,080
Speaker 7: what people should do behind other people's back, Sam.

1507
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:23,640
Speaker 1: Oh, they should tell the stories of what goes on

1508
01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:26,720
Speaker 1: behind those backs on our show kop show. Oh yes,

1509
01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:28,680
Speaker 1: send him in and we read him right here on

1510
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:31,000
Speaker 1: the show. Baby that we do. But if you want

1511
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:35,600
Speaker 1: more of these episodes, which I feel like we've been

1512
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:37,120
Speaker 1: to getting like a lot of love.

1513
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:39,600
Speaker 7: On YouTube lately, I feel like we've been I feel

1514
01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:42,440
Speaker 7: like a lot more positivity, yeah, which I really like.

1515
01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:47,120
Speaker 1: I I appreciate you guys. Like, actually, I'm I'm not

1516
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:49,760
Speaker 1: proud of this, but I deleted a comment that someone said.

1517
01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:55,400
Speaker 1: Someone said I was talking about like how strict my

1518
01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:58,880
Speaker 1: parents were, and someone said, I'm sick of this guy

1519
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:04,920
Speaker 1: always dun't be his childhood trauma on us, And I'm like,

1520
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:05,520
Speaker 1: fuck you.

1521
01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:09,400
Speaker 7: I have to There was one comment. I forget what

1522
01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:11,240
Speaker 7: it was, but I sent it to you and Riley.

1523
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:12,680
Speaker 7: I have to find it and read it really quick.

1524
01:07:13,320 --> 01:07:16,920
Speaker 1: Okay, here I am open up to you, and this

1525
01:07:17,040 --> 01:07:20,240
Speaker 1: is what I get. To be clear, I had a

1526
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:23,400
Speaker 1: great childhood, to be clear. To be clear, yes it

1527
01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:26,880
Speaker 1: was awesome. It was awesome. Were my parents strict? Yes,

1528
01:07:28,080 --> 01:07:29,200
Speaker 1: But that's it.

1529
01:07:29,320 --> 01:07:31,960
Speaker 3: Just is what you're just sharing. You're just sharing your experience.

1530
01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:34,360
Speaker 1: You're just sharing my experience. I'm not bitter about it.

1531
01:07:34,480 --> 01:07:35,720
Speaker 1: Bitter about that comment though.

1532
01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:43,720
Speaker 7: Okay, this is one of the negative comments that literally

1533
01:07:43,760 --> 01:07:48,840
Speaker 7: gives me fuel. So it was it was it was

1534
01:07:49,040 --> 01:07:50,880
Speaker 7: a short word. Basically, it was my face the whole

1535
01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:54,240
Speaker 7: time I was reading the story. H this guy looks

1536
01:07:54,280 --> 01:07:56,680
Speaker 7: like if Sid from Toy Story and Donkey had a

1537
01:07:56,720 --> 01:07:57,440
Speaker 7: man child.

1538
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:02,000
Speaker 1: My god, I love it.

1539
01:08:03,960 --> 01:08:04,400
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1540
01:08:04,520 --> 01:08:06,760
Speaker 7: I don't know what's wrong with me. But you have

1541
01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:10,640
Speaker 7: a you have different programming. My brain is different.

1542
01:08:10,840 --> 01:08:13,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. I literally think it comes back to that, Like,

1543
01:08:14,560 --> 01:08:16,800
Speaker 1: I remember you told me that story about the the

1544
01:08:18,560 --> 01:08:21,559
Speaker 1: uh what was it potato or like fry? Like other

1545
01:08:21,600 --> 01:08:24,439
Speaker 1: people called you fry? Yeah? What do you call them? Yeah?

1546
01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:27,200
Speaker 7: Yeah, So people would call me Fry is like meant

1547
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:29,240
Speaker 7: to be like an insult, like in a bullying way.

1548
01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:32,479
Speaker 7: But then somehow we created this game where I was

1549
01:08:32,560 --> 01:08:35,599
Speaker 7: the Fry and basically I was the tag god and

1550
01:08:35,720 --> 01:08:37,479
Speaker 7: I was the only one that could tag people and

1551
01:08:37,520 --> 01:08:39,400
Speaker 7: if I tagged them, they were nuts and they were out.

1552
01:08:39,720 --> 01:08:42,320
Speaker 1: I feel like this is just the grown up version

1553
01:08:42,479 --> 01:08:44,960
Speaker 1: of that game. I'm just I'm just curving and baby,

1554
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:48,040
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, turning and turning all those haters into nuts.

1555
01:08:49,240 --> 01:08:54,920
Speaker 1: But John, have you seen uh these these what these nuts?

1556
01:08:55,040 --> 01:08:55,960
Speaker 3: Oh god?

1557
01:08:57,439 --> 01:09:03,599
Speaker 1: These nutty next stories? My mom won't leave me alone

1558
01:09:03,720 --> 01:09:08,519
Speaker 1: in the shower. Okayop, this is Okayop. I'm Samuel Dnor

1559
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:11,000
Speaker 1: and I'm John Fry and we tell the funniest stories

1560
01:09:11,040 --> 01:09:13,840
Speaker 1: on the internet. And John, I don't know if like

1561
01:09:14,160 --> 01:09:15,960
Speaker 1: when you were growing up this ever happened to you,

1562
01:09:16,040 --> 01:09:18,200
Speaker 1: but like did your parents ever just like knocked and

1563
01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:22,360
Speaker 1: like bust in your room without man?

1564
01:09:22,840 --> 01:09:25,320
Speaker 7: There were some close calls, you know, there are some

1565
01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:26,360
Speaker 7: close calls.

1566
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:29,080
Speaker 1: My my parents are like a big fan of like

1567
01:09:29,439 --> 01:09:32,200
Speaker 1: knocking but then just going in regardless.

1568
01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:34,240
Speaker 3: That's an interesting way said.

1569
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:38,400
Speaker 1: At the knock. But I have I have a video

1570
01:09:38,560 --> 01:09:42,360
Speaker 1: that's gonna up the ante. Okay, okay, my mom won't

1571
01:09:42,439 --> 01:09:43,680
Speaker 1: leave me alone in the.

1572
01:09:43,760 --> 01:09:45,320
Speaker 3: Shower, Billy, don't drop me.

1573
01:09:45,439 --> 01:09:50,760
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Mom's got that strap on, ready to

1574
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:56,719
Speaker 1: take advantage of any opportunity, starting off with a bang,

1575
01:09:57,240 --> 01:10:02,519
Speaker 1: started off with a bangers. Seriously, you're no pun and tundo. Okay.

1576
01:10:03,240 --> 01:10:05,600
Speaker 1: I've posted a few times in the subreddit about my

1577
01:10:05,960 --> 01:10:10,400
Speaker 1: narcissistic mom and I've received overwhelming support. But something struck

1578
01:10:10,439 --> 01:10:12,479
Speaker 1: me the other day. And it wasn't that strap on

1579
01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:13,160
Speaker 1: the shower.

1580
01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:17,360
Speaker 7: Wasn't that big piece of plastic rates special.

1581
01:10:16,920 --> 01:10:22,160
Speaker 1: Delivery argal Mom deliverom boxes all day, and I thought

1582
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:24,640
Speaker 1: i'd share. I live with my narcissistic mom and my

1583
01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:27,680
Speaker 1: regular dad. Still I love how it's like. Still, I'm

1584
01:10:27,720 --> 01:10:29,880
Speaker 1: twenty four. A year and a half ago, my dad

1585
01:10:29,880 --> 01:10:32,680
Speaker 1: invited my boyfriend of three years to come live with

1586
01:10:32,760 --> 01:10:35,080
Speaker 1: us when his family was going through a hard time.

1587
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:37,080
Speaker 1: We had the money to take him in. My family

1588
01:10:37,240 --> 01:10:39,679
Speaker 1: loves him, and my dad actually suggested it. My father

1589
01:10:39,840 --> 01:10:43,960
Speaker 1: is overwhelmingly supportive, both emotionally and financially. But that doesn't

1590
01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:47,519
Speaker 1: make my narcissistic mom any less of a narcissistic mom.

1591
01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:49,400
Speaker 1: Uh Oh, it just gives me a little more support.

1592
01:10:49,439 --> 01:10:54,599
Speaker 1: My narcissistic mom has certain ideas of privacy, and we're

1593
01:10:54,640 --> 01:10:58,479
Speaker 1: not talking like Snowden privacy making sure all of our

1594
01:10:58,479 --> 01:11:00,920
Speaker 1: government secrets are out there in the world. We're talking

1595
01:11:00,920 --> 01:11:04,160
Speaker 1: about she's just all up in your busness. There was none.

1596
01:11:04,240 --> 01:11:07,640
Speaker 1: I was not safe to be alone and uninterrupted anywhere

1597
01:11:07,640 --> 01:11:10,080
Speaker 1: in my house if she was awake. It didn't matter

1598
01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:13,200
Speaker 1: if the door was closed. She had access to that room,

1599
01:11:13,360 --> 01:11:17,000
Speaker 1: whether someone was in it or not. All access passed,

1600
01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:18,840
Speaker 1: all like this level.

1601
01:11:18,640 --> 01:11:20,479
Speaker 3: Five clearance for anywhere in the.

1602
01:11:20,400 --> 01:11:21,639
Speaker 1: House anytime she wants.

1603
01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:22,320
Speaker 3: But that's weird.

1604
01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:23,960
Speaker 7: It's like, what do you just barge into a room

1605
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:26,120
Speaker 7: when someone's napping and like take a call or something.

1606
01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:28,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, this is my house.

1607
01:11:28,200 --> 01:11:30,200
Speaker 7: I can call wherever I want to unless they have

1608
01:11:30,320 --> 01:11:31,479
Speaker 7: like two rooms, you know.

1609
01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:33,599
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think it's just a narcisstic mom.

1610
01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:35,880
Speaker 3: It's just a narcissistic mom opening them.

1611
01:11:35,760 --> 01:11:38,680
Speaker 1: Doors, opening them doors. When I was a child, she

1612
01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:41,800
Speaker 1: would walk into the bathroom or my bedroom without second thought,

1613
01:11:41,880 --> 01:11:44,080
Speaker 1: which I guess is okay if you're little. But I

1614
01:11:44,120 --> 01:11:46,719
Speaker 1: always thought, okay, it's my mom, she changed my diapers whatever.

1615
01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:49,360
Speaker 1: But it started to get really weird. When I went

1616
01:11:49,479 --> 01:11:53,600
Speaker 1: through and finished puberty. My mother would burst through the

1617
01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:56,120
Speaker 1: bathroom door the exact moment when I was in the

1618
01:11:56,120 --> 01:12:00,639
Speaker 1: shower to use the toilets. Oh my god, that's weird,

1619
01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:03,680
Speaker 1: but it's especially weird when we have a perfectly functioning

1620
01:12:03,880 --> 01:12:05,000
Speaker 1: second bathroom.

1621
01:12:06,200 --> 01:12:07,720
Speaker 3: Honestly, this takes the cake.

1622
01:12:07,800 --> 01:12:11,080
Speaker 7: Your mom is using the toilet while you are in

1623
01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:12,719
Speaker 7: the shower, so let's.

1624
01:12:12,560 --> 01:12:15,479
Speaker 1: Just disregard the fact that she's thinking up the place

1625
01:12:15,520 --> 01:12:18,439
Speaker 1: while you're trying to enjoy a nice, relaxing shower. So

1626
01:12:18,600 --> 01:12:19,559
Speaker 1: she's just freaking weird.

1627
01:12:19,600 --> 01:12:23,280
Speaker 3: Bro, that's absolutely like way way weird.

1628
01:12:23,520 --> 01:12:25,479
Speaker 1: No no, no, no no no no no no no no

1629
01:12:25,479 --> 01:12:29,720
Speaker 1: no no. This was bothersome. Yes, but it happened constantly.

1630
01:12:29,880 --> 01:12:32,720
Speaker 1: Almost every shower I took was interrupted. And not only that,

1631
01:12:32,880 --> 01:12:35,719
Speaker 1: my mother would make comments about how I washed myself

1632
01:12:36,080 --> 01:12:38,680
Speaker 1: or shaved my legs or whatever to like, hey, make

1633
01:12:38,720 --> 01:12:42,000
Speaker 1: should have gett into the crack, Jimmy or Jamie or Jessica.

1634
01:12:42,280 --> 01:12:49,200
Speaker 3: Good god, oh gosh, yeah, this this spy. Oh my goodness,

1635
01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:50,080
Speaker 3: this is just slow.

1636
01:12:51,080 --> 01:12:54,320
Speaker 1: She would literally coach me on how to shower and

1637
01:12:54,400 --> 01:12:56,639
Speaker 1: tell me, hey, you're doing it all wrong. All right,

1638
01:12:56,680 --> 01:12:58,360
Speaker 1: Like this is really weird, but I'd like to take

1639
01:12:58,400 --> 01:13:00,679
Speaker 1: a moment. There are a lot of people that never

1640
01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:03,880
Speaker 1: learned how to poop properly because like they didn't have

1641
01:13:03,960 --> 01:13:06,280
Speaker 1: someone in the room like coaching them.

1642
01:13:06,880 --> 01:13:09,000
Speaker 3: Oh, like you're supposed to like lift your legs or

1643
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:10,920
Speaker 3: or what's that? Like, squatty potty er.

1644
01:13:11,080 --> 01:13:14,720
Speaker 1: We don't talk about a bathroom. We don't talk about

1645
01:13:14,760 --> 01:13:18,599
Speaker 1: It's unfortunate. Yeah, we need potty trainers, right, Potty training

1646
01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:22,240
Speaker 1: shouldn't end at three. We need potty contillion because like,

1647
01:13:22,280 --> 01:13:24,080
Speaker 1: there are people on Reddit that are like, how do

1648
01:13:24,160 --> 01:13:27,599
Speaker 1: you tell whether you're finished, you know, wiping, And it's like, bruh,

1649
01:13:27,760 --> 01:13:30,920
Speaker 1: you check the scorecard and if you're leaving ones all

1650
01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:34,160
Speaker 1: over that dishue pavor, you're not done that. Some people

1651
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:36,960
Speaker 1: will just put their underwear on and not even check

1652
01:13:37,040 --> 01:13:40,080
Speaker 1: the scorecard to see if they're done wiping the scorecard.

1653
01:13:40,120 --> 01:13:43,480
Speaker 1: That's great, check the scorecard. Several years ago, my grandfather

1654
01:13:43,600 --> 01:13:46,720
Speaker 1: with late stage Alzheimer's would wander into our house and

1655
01:13:46,800 --> 01:13:48,720
Speaker 1: just look for people to talk to. He would open

1656
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:50,760
Speaker 1: the door while you were using the bathroom to talk

1657
01:13:50,800 --> 01:13:53,880
Speaker 1: to you. And we did everything we could to stop him,

1658
01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:57,000
Speaker 1: leaving notes on the door saying, don't come in. Whatever

1659
01:13:57,040 --> 01:13:59,280
Speaker 1: we could think of. Sadly, we have to replace the

1660
01:13:59,320 --> 01:14:01,280
Speaker 1: bathroom door with a door with a lock. None of

1661
01:14:01,280 --> 01:14:03,880
Speaker 1: our internal doors in the house have locks, by the way, oh,

1662
01:14:03,920 --> 01:14:06,720
Speaker 1: which I guess, which is why part of system.

1663
01:14:07,120 --> 01:14:08,679
Speaker 3: Open door policy system.

1664
01:14:09,040 --> 01:14:11,720
Speaker 1: This was great for op though, because I would lock

1665
01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:14,840
Speaker 1: the door constantly to keep my mother and my grandfather,

1666
01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:17,880
Speaker 1: but mostly my mother out. Thank god, my mother realized

1667
01:14:17,960 --> 01:14:21,559
Speaker 1: what I was doing locking that door taking a dumper,

1668
01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:25,160
Speaker 1: and once my grandfather passed away, she broke the lock

1669
01:14:25,320 --> 01:14:27,880
Speaker 1: on the door so I could no longer lock her out.

1670
01:14:28,000 --> 01:14:30,719
Speaker 1: My father will always knock on my bedroom door, especially

1671
01:14:30,760 --> 01:14:33,320
Speaker 1: since my boyfriend both lives and sleeps with me in

1672
01:14:33,400 --> 01:14:37,840
Speaker 1: my room. Is knocked at some definitely inopportunity times, sure,

1673
01:14:38,080 --> 01:14:41,280
Speaker 1: but he's always knocked. Has been fine, they're doing the dirty.

1674
01:14:41,360 --> 01:14:46,280
Speaker 1: The last straw was my mother walking in constantly, even

1675
01:14:46,360 --> 01:14:49,240
Speaker 1: once my boyfriend moved in trying to get a live show.

1676
01:14:49,439 --> 01:14:52,080
Speaker 1: Got to pay for that all my evidence. She walked

1677
01:14:52,080 --> 01:14:55,880
Speaker 1: in on me changing, on him changing, and one time

1678
01:14:55,960 --> 01:14:57,960
Speaker 1: she walked in on the two of us in an

1679
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:03,040
Speaker 1: intimate situation. Oh god, my mother was furious and went

1680
01:15:03,080 --> 01:15:05,599
Speaker 1: to my father about how she could do something like

1681
01:15:05,640 --> 01:15:08,880
Speaker 1: that in our house, and my father finally went off

1682
01:15:08,880 --> 01:15:11,479
Speaker 1: on her. She was being disrespectful to me for not

1683
01:15:11,560 --> 01:15:14,400
Speaker 1: respecting my privacy. I had no way of locking her

1684
01:15:14,439 --> 01:15:16,679
Speaker 1: out of my room. Doors are old and can't be replaced.

1685
01:15:16,680 --> 01:15:20,080
Speaker 1: The doors with flocks really can't be replaced with other doors. Sure,

1686
01:15:20,360 --> 01:15:21,840
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure there's a door guy that I.

1687
01:15:21,760 --> 01:15:25,600
Speaker 7: Feel like that's another lie in her kingdom of lawlessness.

1688
01:15:25,640 --> 01:15:27,640
Speaker 1: He said that it was my space and I was

1689
01:15:27,680 --> 01:15:31,000
Speaker 1: an adult. He gave her a thorough talking to about respect,

1690
01:15:31,320 --> 01:15:35,160
Speaker 1: r espect and the fact that she didn't have any

1691
01:15:35,160 --> 01:15:37,160
Speaker 1: for me. But what was worse was that it was

1692
01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:40,120
Speaker 1: downright extremely rude to my boyfriend who now lived with us.

1693
01:15:40,160 --> 01:15:42,280
Speaker 1: He even paid my dad rents.

1694
01:15:42,280 --> 01:15:43,760
Speaker 3: Wow, even when they didn't ask for it.

1695
01:15:43,840 --> 01:15:46,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's cool. So he deserved the privacy that she

1696
01:15:46,360 --> 01:15:48,439
Speaker 1: was not giving to him. Ever since that talk, she's

1697
01:15:48,520 --> 01:15:52,040
Speaker 1: knocked when coming into my bedroom and bathroom. Thank the Lord,

1698
01:15:52,360 --> 01:15:54,559
Speaker 1: that's what should have been happening this whole time. This

1699
01:15:54,680 --> 01:15:56,599
Speaker 1: is the bare minimum, bro, That's basically it.

1700
01:15:56,600 --> 01:15:58,800
Speaker 7: It's a tricky situation because you're like, you're living with

1701
01:15:58,880 --> 01:16:00,559
Speaker 7: your parents with your partner.

1702
01:16:00,800 --> 01:16:03,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's like you gotta you gotta give some

1703
01:16:03,160 --> 01:16:04,200
Speaker 1: space for naughty time.

1704
01:16:04,479 --> 01:16:09,360
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, it's it's yeah, wow man, that that mom

1705
01:16:09,439 --> 01:16:13,120
Speaker 7: is absolutely and I mean so many lines, so many

1706
01:16:13,160 --> 01:16:14,160
Speaker 7: lines have been crossed.

1707
01:16:14,280 --> 01:16:17,240
Speaker 3: But you know, what's a line you should always cross?

1708
01:16:17,320 --> 01:16:20,520
Speaker 1: Yeah? What's the line you should always cross? Crossing the line.

1709
01:16:20,200 --> 01:16:23,840
Speaker 3: To that freaking subscribe, but subscribe.

1710
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:27,040
Speaker 1: Follow us on Spotify, you know, if you want to

1711
01:16:27,040 --> 01:16:30,040
Speaker 1: be a real bro, support us on Patreon. That's right,

1712
01:16:30,160 --> 01:16:34,000
Speaker 1: like Kathy quickly, Kathy quickly, Come on, Kathy, have actually

1713
01:16:34,000 --> 01:16:34,960
Speaker 1: heard her call outs yet?

1714
01:16:35,920 --> 01:16:38,680
Speaker 7: I think she's commented on like the initial one, but

1715
01:16:39,040 --> 01:16:39,680
Speaker 7: we've had we.

1716
01:16:39,640 --> 01:16:45,080
Speaker 1: Have so many. Kathy. Cathy are really our hero. We

1717
01:16:45,200 --> 01:16:47,280
Speaker 1: love you, Kathy. That's right, forever and ever.

1718
01:16:49,680 --> 01:16:49,960
Speaker 7: Uh.

1719
01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:52,479
Speaker 1: I think with that, we bid we bid a do

1720
01:16:52,680 --> 01:16:52,880
Speaker 1: see

1721
01:16:52,880 --> 01:16:53,439
Speaker 3: You next time,