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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 1: I'm Mila, and it's Wednesday.

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Speaker 2: It's Wednesday, y'all. It's Wednesday. It's Homeday.

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Speaker 1: We fucking we turn in it because it's to night.

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Speaker 2: It's our live show in Atlanta.

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Speaker 1: Not really, if you're watching YouTube, this is very confusing.

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Speaker 3: But you know what, just for every since her on

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Speaker 3: the YouTube people, I just want to be clear.

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Speaker 1: This is a podcast, yes can we This is a

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Speaker 1: public service announcement to YouTube you. Hello YouTubers. I need

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Speaker 1: to look at you because I don't really I don't

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Speaker 1: really look at you a lot because I'm usually podcasting.

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Speaker 1: But I'm gonna look directly at you right now and

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Speaker 1: let you know something.

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Speaker 3: I know we have a show, but this show, in

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Speaker 3: its original format, is for audio, so you don't have

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Speaker 3: to keep writing in the comments. How fucking rude we

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Speaker 3: are for not introducing our guests yet, because the.

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Speaker 2: Format of the podcast is we talk a little and

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Speaker 2: then we introduce the guest.

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Speaker 3: We realize we're pretending to be rude, but it's for

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Speaker 3: an audio experience, So catch the fuck up the podcast

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Speaker 3: with video supplement supplement.

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Speaker 1: You're foremost we are a podcast. But with that said,

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Speaker 1: there's no confusion and we're not rude, and also we

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Speaker 1: love you. We love you, we do. I just get

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Speaker 1: very annoyed people Erica. People get really rude in comments

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Speaker 1: with their opinions. They're like, you're disrespectful.

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Speaker 3: I was like, whoa, Erica called me so mad, Like,

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Speaker 3: I'm so pissed at these people on YouTube.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, why what are they saying over there?

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Speaker 4: They keep thinking of we're ignoring our guests.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, what do you mean.

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Speaker 3: She's like, because we don't talk to them for the

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Speaker 3: first five minutes. I'm like, there must be slow they

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Speaker 3: don't see the fucking microphones. But I guess yeah, it's

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Speaker 3: just confusing anyway.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, with that said, I'd like to introduce our guest.

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Speaker 3: Our beautiful Homegirl, Baby Mama Jessica Rose, the Empty of

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Speaker 3: the Internets and beyond.

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Speaker 4: Also it's my.

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Speaker 3: Jessica Rose on the ones and twos, freestyler, writer, entrepreneurs,

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Speaker 3: social media gourgu.

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Speaker 1: Mavie legend, making Baby Mama's laugh and Baby Daddy's punch

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Speaker 1: the air Like that.

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Speaker 2: Right, I did?

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Speaker 4: That's a reason update.

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Speaker 2: That's that's the newest.

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Speaker 1: Making Baby mama's laugh and baby day I was going.

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Speaker 3: To be baby daddy's cry. But I can take punch.

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Speaker 3: I can take definitely punching. There they're doing both.

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Speaker 2: They're crying while they punched the air hopefully into their

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Speaker 2: baby daddy's tears. Cup.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, thank you for having thank you for.

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Speaker 2: Coming back on.

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Speaker 1: This is actually Jessica's third time on the show. She's like,

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Speaker 1: I think she's been on the show more than anyone. Really. Yeah, like, oh, ship,

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Speaker 1: what makes me happy?

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Speaker 2: We need to do this every year because.

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Speaker 4: You text me You're like for your annual good moms.

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Speaker 2: It's the time again, like it's Christmas.

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Speaker 4: Hey, I'm glad to be back. I'm really proud of y'all.

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Speaker 4: This is dope. This is the first time me doing

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Speaker 4: it with the fancy way, which.

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Speaker 3: Okay, she's so she was at the crib and ship.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what's up, boo? How are you?

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Speaker 4: I'm good.

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Speaker 5: I'm good as hot as hell today it's so hot

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Speaker 5: it's supposed to be all week. It's a heat wave.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they told they just sent me an email that

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Speaker 2: the kids can't go out, can't go outside tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: A similar message from Irish school too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's what happens when you live in the motherfucking valley.

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Speaker 4: Her Valley girls.

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Speaker 1: Hot, like, oh my god, oh my god, it's so

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Speaker 1: fucking hot.

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Speaker 3: For those of you heard joining us on audio experience,

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Speaker 3: I know you guys fucking hate me really lean into

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Speaker 3: our white valley side because we get a lot of

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Speaker 3: comments on there too. But guess what, fuck you bitch,

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Speaker 3: this is how I.

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Speaker 4: Talk original val We're all original.

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Speaker 3: I just want to shout out to all the original

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Speaker 3: eight one eight Valley girls, especially the black ones, because

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Speaker 3: we're few and far between. You know, we're motherfucking unicorns

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Speaker 3: and we're a special motherfucking breathe. And don't get mad

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Speaker 3: when I see Nigga or baby Daddy because I'm black.

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Speaker 2: That was also a comment. Really yeah, people really don't

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Speaker 2: like it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that was on Lifsa Galley or

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Speaker 1: you need to get off of these Orlandos stop let

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Speaker 1: stop letting her go on this.

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Speaker 4: I'm not going.

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Speaker 3: I'm not confident enough to just Orlando thinks it's who

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Speaker 3: I'm like.

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Speaker 2: They said, I stink.

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Speaker 1: I know they can't. I know they can't smell over there.

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Speaker 1: They love you, they do, they tell me I smell

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Speaker 1: at all nothing.

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Speaker 3: They said, like, you know, like baby Daddy ship. Also

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Speaker 3: like that you're the star of the show, like they

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Speaker 3: don't know why you have me, probably because you can't

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Speaker 3: talk to yourself.

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Speaker 2: What the fuck?

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Speaker 1: I don't even talk Meanwhile, I'm over here, get words out.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't even do you guys.

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Speaker 5: Have like a Reddit about y'all yet I haven't checked

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Speaker 5: laying really you know how a peak of like sixs.

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Speaker 1: How do you deal with because I know that you

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Speaker 1: get a lot of that on your page. Because let

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Speaker 1: me tell y'allf y'all haven't checked out Jessica, make sure

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Speaker 1: you go follow her. This is Jessica Ro's right, this

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Speaker 1: is Jessica Ros. She'd be going in over there, this

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Speaker 1: is I have.

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Speaker 2: I'd been like, this is my real friend, and I'd

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Speaker 2: be in real tears. I like, what the fuck is wrong?

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Speaker 2: She'd be saying shit that really does make Nigga's mad.

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Speaker 1: Baby Daddy specifically, like if you need an account to

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Speaker 1: follow because you're mad as baby Daddy one day, just

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Speaker 1: go follow jess.

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Speaker 3: I can literally think of like five videos right now

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Speaker 3: that I'm like crying about me.

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Speaker 5: But like I'm sure people be like, I know so

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Speaker 5: mean on the internet, honestly, and I feel like it's

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Speaker 5: just depending on, you know, what is going on with

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Speaker 5: my hormones that day, the way that I'm dealing with it.

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Speaker 5: Like nine times out of ten, I don't care. A

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Speaker 5: lot of times I have to stop myself. Sometimes I

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Speaker 5: don't stop myself from literally like responding and going in.

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Speaker 5: But Instagram usually flags me in some kind of way,

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Speaker 5: like someone had said something recently along the lines of

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Speaker 5: like yeah, like you know, I was doing those little

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Speaker 5: dancing videos like always on my way to somewhere and

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Speaker 5: someone was like, yeah, thank you, and it was on

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Speaker 5: her way somewhere except the gym. And then I literally

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Speaker 5: responded and I was like, your mother is a slug

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Speaker 5: like and then Instagram took me down for bullying demonetized me.

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Speaker 5: I'm just like, shit, I really can't say nothing.

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Speaker 4: You really have to just I.

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Speaker 1: Mean, that.

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Speaker 2: Was you know, you know you couldn't say that. Well,

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Speaker 2: you know what.

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Speaker 3: Our life got taken down for a month because I

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Speaker 3: told something like I told a nigga who was talking

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Speaker 3: ship in the comments like you're a bitch ass nigga.

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Speaker 2: And then and then I was afraid to tell Eric Kevin,

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Speaker 2: that's why we didn't have live. I tried to go

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Speaker 2: on live one day. I was like, our live is

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Speaker 2: the actually but I have no idea. I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I was really upset about that.

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Speaker 5: It's like you really can't say anything, and it's it

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Speaker 5: sucks because it messes up your money, Like I don't

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Speaker 5: think I can be monetized again until like November. I

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Speaker 5: haven't been able to go live for weeks. Like Instagram, yeah,

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Speaker 5: is throttling the fuck. I know you guys experience it too,

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Speaker 5: like whenever you're not a certain type of cookie cutter

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Speaker 5: way like the platforms were hating on you. But yeah,

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Speaker 5: I try not to tap too much into it, like

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Speaker 5: people are usually coming from a place of pain, Like.

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Speaker 3: I mean, one hundred, one hundred percent of the time,

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Speaker 3: it is projection and like I think, you know what,

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Speaker 3: it's almost like the Bible. You know, it's Instagram is

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Speaker 3: the Bible, like turn the other cheek type shit, like

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Speaker 3: because the nigga's saying the comments are not getting penalized,

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Speaker 3: and then money's getting sucked up.

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Speaker 2: So it really does make you be like I'm not

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Speaker 2: gonna listen.

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Speaker 4: I want to know what's super deep that I realized.

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Speaker 5: I was wondering why a lot of people were like

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Speaker 5: spelling the word fat with different symbols.

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Speaker 4: Because they're getting flagged, because.

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Speaker 5: Well not even that, because I thought, well maybe the

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Speaker 5: flag part. But you know that on your page you

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Speaker 5: can like filter certain words out. So if I'm like

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Speaker 5: getting like literally terror terrorized, beat the fuck up for

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Speaker 5: my weight, like I'll like filter like fat, big, whatever.

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Speaker 4: But they're doing it so that it's still popping up.

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Speaker 2: If you do.

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Speaker 3: If you're changing the English language to be a fucking

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Speaker 3: bully online, you need to look in the mirror.

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Speaker 2: You have some real issues.

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Speaker 3: You've gone to great lemps to be a fucking online

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Speaker 3: bully that you know the codes.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well I just saw that that you.

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Speaker 3: Can you can change words, and I was thinking, like

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Speaker 3: what can I flag? But I couldn't think that hard.

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Speaker 3: I didn't get very far. It is wild place. I

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Speaker 3: don't I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I I feel like we've been actually pretty

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Speaker 1: like I don't know, somehow protected in ways of like

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Speaker 1: as much shit as me.

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Speaker 2: And Mila talk like.

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Speaker 1: Also, I really don't go looking for it at all,

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Speaker 1: Like I really try not to.

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Speaker 2: I can't take it because I get mad.

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Speaker 1: You see how I act on YouTube and write and

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Speaker 1: you've gotten my comments.

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Speaker 2: You know what the fuck I'm talking about? Are you

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Speaker 2: responding on Yes, I get pissed.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, first, first of all, this is a fucking podcast.

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Speaker 1: Second of all, don't watch my show. I was like, wow, okay,

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Speaker 1: let me calm down, Like that's not that serious. I

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Speaker 1: want your I want your view.

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Speaker 2: The crazy thing is is like people come to your

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Speaker 2: ship and then talk shit. Yeah. Oh like but bit

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Speaker 2: you're over here, like you don't have to be.

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Speaker 4: The worst is like they like despise me when you go.

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Speaker 4: It's like you follow me. I didn't even just pop up.

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Speaker 1: We're like, you've actually followed me, like girl bye.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: Like Jessica is one of our my first like online

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Speaker 3: like crush friends that came friends in real life. She

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Speaker 3: like reached out to and we're like, oh my god,

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Speaker 3: that girl makes some good music online about baby Daddy.

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Speaker 4: Says it is our friend.

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Speaker 2: She wants to be our friend.

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Speaker 3: Literally, I like, I really loved her online and she

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Speaker 3: was like popping.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: We found out she lived like a block away from us,

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Speaker 1: and we're like, oh shit.

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Speaker 3: Her and missus Wright's Way. Shout out to our friend Ashley,

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Speaker 3: who I also stopped online for many years even before

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Speaker 3: we started Good Moms and tried to be her friend.

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Speaker 3: And finally, finally I'm in the mom crew of the Valley.

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Speaker 4: We got a strong little valley mom.

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Speaker 2: Mom. Iused to say mom blogger.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, I content creators.

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Speaker 3: Content mom, content creators, content curates. I was I was

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Speaker 3: high one day leaving the office and I had a

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Speaker 3: download and I was like a Messageesica like, oh my god, me,

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Speaker 3: we need to do the Black Moms of the Valley.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, why haven't they done it yet? Like Housewives,

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Speaker 3: but like black Moms in the Valley. Maybe it'll be

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Speaker 3: a spoof anyway, a full voice, not like I'm high.

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Speaker 3: But I think this is a great idea. You should

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Speaker 3: write it.

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Speaker 4: Bye, it would be funny. I think another mom have

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Speaker 4: time to write it. But oh angels angel, Yeah that's here. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it's a solid little foundation we got out here.

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Speaker 2: We really do we need to have like an event.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: When you're a content creator, always trying to create some shit.

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Speaker 2: Literally we do something together.

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Speaker 4: It never ends. There's always something to make or do.

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Speaker 2: Can you make another video? With us, Like with us, I.

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Speaker 4: Would love that that you guys were the best video

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Speaker 4: hos ever.

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Speaker 1: We like Jessica told us, like I think it was

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Speaker 1: like months before, so like it was in my head

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Speaker 1: like for months, I was.

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Speaker 2: Like, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be in a music video,

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Speaker 2: and it was like then the day finally came and.

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Speaker 1: I was like, we have to show out for jess

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Speaker 1: We might need to run that back, right, I need

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Speaker 1: to rewatch the video.

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Speaker 2: It's been a while.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's really good.

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Speaker 1: It's really good. We need to post it in this episode.

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Speaker 1: Go check out our music video to what was it

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Speaker 1: CARDI beat?

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Speaker 4: You know that best friend?

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Speaker 2: It was? Yeah, it was great. That's my mom friend.

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Speaker 2: Next time, I want a.

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Speaker 4: Verse, Yeah that would be funny.

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Speaker 1: I would like a verse too, because you know I

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Speaker 1: am secretly I do.

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Speaker 4: I need to do another mom Wrap soon. So I'm

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Speaker 4: already happened.

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Speaker 2: We're ready, you've been.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I can do some backup vocals also, see I

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Speaker 1: can do some harmonizing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah I can't.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to hear it right now. I really

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Speaker 4: we got the mic.

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Speaker 2: List please okay? And five four three Sweet Misery.

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Speaker 1: Wait, I'm gonna say my one that I always sing. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm getting tad of yo shape because you don't never

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Speaker 1: bout me nothing, and every time you come around, you

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Speaker 1: gotta bring Jim, James, Paul and Tyrone.

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Speaker 2: Did we need to read you that one? That's like

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Speaker 2: a baby day? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, that was okay.

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Speaker 2: I'm surprised you don't. I would tell you the truth.

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Speaker 4: No, surprised and surprised.

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Speaker 2: Do you see how serious I got?

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Speaker 4: Did you ever do like I feel like you did,

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Speaker 4: like vocal lessons growing up?

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Speaker 2: Or not?

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Speaker 1: Really?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 2: But I was sure to be a singer for at

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Speaker 2: least like ten years of my life. Yeah, I was singer.

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Speaker 2: I wrote music. Yeah, she went Gate tour. It's a

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Speaker 2: former lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure my MySpace is still out there. No, they

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Speaker 1: took all the old It's so.

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Speaker 4: Did you have a MySpace music page?

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Speaker 2: I did.

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Speaker 1: I had a MySpace music page. I did go on

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Speaker 1: a Gate tour, not a gay tour. I went on.

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Speaker 2: I did one show at a care club in Chicago.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna need We're gonna need those people.

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Speaker 1: Don't you remember one of the episodes we we out show,

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Speaker 1: the episode with me and Jared's song Yeah, I haven't

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Speaker 1: had of our time now. I was listening to that

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Speaker 1: song her. I was like, me and Jared text to

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Speaker 1: each other, were like, this.

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Speaker 2: Would have been us. We would have just kept going.

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Speaker 1: We were making house rap, trap, trap, trap, I don't

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Speaker 1: know what the fuck electro trap?

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Speaker 2: Okay, can you put? Can you drop the album?

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Speaker 1: I'm Patreon can I don't know if they're worthy.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. No, don't talk about I don't want to.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to offend anybody. I have amazing musical skills.

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Speaker 2: I love that. Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 4: No, we can definitely do another music video.

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Speaker 3: I feel like tyrone Kid really well, you're a rapper,

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Speaker 3: so that wouldn't work if we could wrap on it.

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Speaker 4: Maybe there has to be some kind of you know

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Speaker 4: what I've been I wanted to do? Actually is like same?

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Speaker 2: Is it?

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Speaker 4: Like? Can we not do the same girl? Because r Kelly? Like,

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Speaker 4: is that like a thing? Because it's not well.

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Speaker 6: I was just at a family by I went to

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Speaker 6: a family barbecue and in fact, Orlando, Orlando won't let

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Speaker 6: us listen to our Kelly like privately like no, no social.

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Speaker 4: Media charity right and our lyrics and it's usually.

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Speaker 2: Try to get us most and lips. Ally.

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Speaker 3: I can separate the man from the music personally, but

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Speaker 3: I don't think he's a good person.

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Speaker 2: I think he's right where he belongs.

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Speaker 1: And per day I was actually I went to breakfast

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Speaker 1: in Kunoko Park with my mom and Irin and there

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Speaker 1: was a live There was a man singing like live

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Speaker 1: at breakfast with a guitar and he sang an our

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Speaker 1: Kelly song and I was just so con family Barbie

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Speaker 1: song in full Spanish and then also sing a country song.

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Speaker 1: So he was very he was very dynamic.

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Speaker 2: A country song.

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Speaker 4: No we should in Spanish. No one's good break.

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Speaker 1: You know the Latin American market, that's where the money's at. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for sure, if you both, you're gonna make a lot

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Speaker 1: of money. Like Cardi B has a whole other career.

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Speaker 2: Over, she has another career. I'm Spanish, other artists, other people,

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Speaker 2: it's huge. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But if you when you can collab with these major

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Speaker 1: stars in Spanish like Hell, I don't think she did

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Speaker 1: com bad money.

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Speaker 2: I think she did what's his name, uh mala Luma Luma. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and if you I mean a bunch of he said,

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Speaker 2: she's not a bunch of artists trying to talk about

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Speaker 2: our crossover.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, when two thirds of us don't speak no, goddamn Spanish.

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Speaker 2: I am half. I can speak half Spanish.

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Speaker 1: My Spanish is a big questionable these days, but I'll

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Speaker 1: make it work for that check okay Spanish, Well, Jessica.

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Speaker 2: We ask all our guests to have an affirmation. Do

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Speaker 2: you have one, my dear, I do.

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Speaker 4: I'm actually, like.

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Speaker 5: Really this week in the season of like trying to

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Speaker 5: pour more into myself. So the one that I've been

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Speaker 5: doing lately is even in transition, I'm enough.

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Speaker 2: Even in transition, I'm enough. I love it. I love that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's good.

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Speaker 1: Loving yourself through the growing, even when you transition includes

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Speaker 1: going back. Sometimes the transition is like this full spectrum

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Speaker 1: of like and being and forgiving yourself for those things too.

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Speaker 2: Being gentle with yourself. Yeah. Yeah, it's so hard. It's

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Speaker 2: so hard.

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Speaker 4: Life is a whole motherfucking transition, it really is.

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Speaker 5: There's so many different stages, and it's like, especially like

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Speaker 5: in regards to my health, I feel like that's the

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Speaker 5: one I like the most because I feel like there's

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Speaker 5: so many things that I can be like disciplined in

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Speaker 5: and successful at when it comes to like my work ethic.

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Speaker 5: But then sometimes when it comes to like actually taking

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Speaker 5: care of myself, whether that's like giving myself time or

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Speaker 5: doing the things that I know I need to do,

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Speaker 5: like work out and eat healthy, I have such a

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Speaker 5: hard time with that.

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Speaker 4: So it's like giving yourself that grace, like, Okay, I'm

384
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Speaker 4: not where I want to be in one area, but.

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Speaker 5: Like I'm still doing other things right, So trying to

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Speaker 5: give yourself that grace, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: And bitch this transition, you are.

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Speaker 3: The most disciplined, go getting business savvy bitch that I know.

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Speaker 3: This bitch is not fucking master of homeschool fucking master.

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Speaker 1: We were just talking about that out there and she's like,

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Speaker 1: what's the worst of my life?

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Speaker 4: No, I sent her back.

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Speaker 1: But from an outsider looking in, we were looking at me.

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Speaker 2: We were I was judging myself. I was like, I'm

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Speaker 2: a terrible mother. I was judging my side. I was like,

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Speaker 2: what the fuck? How can she do this? How? And

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Speaker 2: Nyla's killing it?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, But then it's like you have that like that

399
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,000
Speaker 5: outside perception, but then like on the inside, I was

400
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 5: at the house, like yes, NILA's getting things more. But

401
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,840
Speaker 5: it was very much giving. If you have two motherfucking apples.

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Speaker 1: Niggas, you know what I mean, Like, it was very

403
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:53,080
Speaker 1: apples getting. You get resembled, you get reseful because you're tired.

404
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,480
Speaker 1: You're also trying to work on your job. You're trying

405
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,639
Speaker 1: to educate your child and be this good mom or

406
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Speaker 1: whatever that that means. And but and you're losing patience

407
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:02,480
Speaker 1: because she's a child and she.

408
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,920
Speaker 2: Can't figure out why the fuck there's now.

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Speaker 5: But then I also did it during like the pandemic

410
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:07,880
Speaker 5: period too, so there wasn't a lot of.

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00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,719
Speaker 4: The outside resources.

412
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,480
Speaker 5: Like going to like, you know, meet up with people

413
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,400
Speaker 5: on Facebook and like do activity, so that social aspect

414
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,080
Speaker 5: for Nila was really limited and yours.

415
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so you both are so we are both

416
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,120
Speaker 4: God for each other, you know what I mean?

417
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:25,040
Speaker 1: So yeah, I whodos are the moms that do that shit?

418
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,320
Speaker 1: And and honestly and honestly, if you are doing that

419
00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:29,480
Speaker 1: shit and it doesn't feel good, you're not a bad

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Speaker 1: mom for not wanting to do it, Like, look into

421
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,919
Speaker 1: other options, like your happiness and your freedom, and like

422
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,919
Speaker 1: if you feel confined, because I can't, honestly, like I

423
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,280
Speaker 1: need space from my child in order to be a

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00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:45,760
Speaker 1: good parent, Like I need other people to come in

425
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 1: and take on roles that I don't have the capacity

426
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 1: or the patience to execute, you know, And as parents,

427
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:55,040
Speaker 1: we often feel like we're supposed to like be able

428
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 1: to do all these things well and want to do

429
00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:01,360
Speaker 1: them happily. And it's just like honor yourself, bitch, Like

430
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,200
Speaker 1: you don't like to play, And I've had to honor

431
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,359
Speaker 1: that part of me and tell I've had like conversations

432
00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,560
Speaker 1: with I like listen and like people might think I'm

433
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,200
Speaker 1: nuts and like mean, but I want to be honest

434
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Speaker 1: with her about like, hey, I can play as much

435
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 1: as a thirty four year old woman can play. Yeah,

436
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,800
Speaker 1: I am not seven. I don't want to play how

437
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,040
Speaker 1: you play? Boom, Like I'm gonna play with you and

438
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:21,640
Speaker 1: then that's it.

439
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:23,640
Speaker 2: But like feeling.

440
00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 1: Guilty about that too, Like I chose to be a mother,

441
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 1: Like you're supposed to play. You're supposed to love every

442
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:28,840
Speaker 1: part of.

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00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 2: One, NA want to play, gonna wish you like, no,

444
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:35,080
Speaker 2: I won't, No, I won't.

445
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,600
Speaker 1: I won't wish that I played fucking barbies every day

446
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,399
Speaker 1: that I get. There's other things that I'm gonna. Like

447
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,679
Speaker 1: there's other things that I feel that way about, like

448
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 1: other types of time, like not that specifically though them,

449
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 1: I shouldn't keep them.

450
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 5: Get black all the time because I feel like I

451
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:54,160
Speaker 5: pretty frequently talk about you know, I consider myself someone

452
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 5: that stands Tanto's down on the fact that I regret motherhood,

453
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 5: Like it's not something that it's not a role that

454
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 5: I I enjoy. It's a role that I do a

455
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 5: damn good job at. I feel like I'm an incredible mother.

456
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 5: I'm super tapped in with my kids. She has everything

457
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 5: that she needs. I love her. But if I could

458
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 5: go back in time and like not literally fucking be

459
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,600
Speaker 5: responsible for the way another human being turns out that

460
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 5: I'm constantly responsible for apps fucking lutely, like I would

461
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:21,880
Speaker 5: hit refresh on it.

462
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,440
Speaker 4: Like it's like I don't like regret Nyla and my daughter.

463
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:29,440
Speaker 4: I regret the role. And it's like people find like.

464
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:34,440
Speaker 5: Such a horrible like association with like saying that out

465
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,440
Speaker 5: loud or even like relating to that and still saying

466
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 5: feeling the need to be like, yeah, but I love

467
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,639
Speaker 5: her though, Like I don't even like always having to

468
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 5: follow up with.

469
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,200
Speaker 2: That, and you don't have to like that's a habit

470
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 2: to do.

471
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:48,479
Speaker 5: That because god forbid someone thinks that you're saying that

472
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,600
Speaker 5: being completely selfless all of the time isn't the most

473
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 5: fucking ideal thing to do.

474
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 3: Well, I think people are rubbed the wrong way about

475
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaker 3: it because most most moms feel that way. Yeah, and

476
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,400
Speaker 3: you're not allowed to say it, and so it's people

477
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,399
Speaker 3: are triggered by other people saying it because it's a

478
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 3: lot of times how they feel too, Like honestly, parenthood

479
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 3: has like it's not it's.

480
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,119
Speaker 2: Not like the number one thing to do in adulthood.

481
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 1: Well, I think that like just like you might like

482
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 1: obviously you say you stand ten toes down. I think

483
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,400
Speaker 1: for me, there's been moments where I've for sure been

484
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,159
Speaker 1: like my life would be so much easier if this

485
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 1: didn't happen, and felt bad for myself. But I think

486
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 1: there's this like there's, like I said, like, there's people

487
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 1: that feel like you, there's people that have moments of

488
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 1: this and even that is like feels fucking horrible, you know,

489
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 1: And I think that's about like I don't know because

490
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,199
Speaker 1: I felt like this recently, but like redefining what that

491
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 1: role looks like unfortunately, like we live in a society

492
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,439
Speaker 1: that's always gonna remind us what it's supposed to be like.

493
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 2: But like I guess deciding that you don't have.

494
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 1: To be selfless, Like, in what ways do you feel

495
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 1: like other you feel like motherhood is like solely like

496
00:21:58,119 --> 00:21:59,160
Speaker 1: a selfless job.

497
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:05,400
Speaker 5: I feel like I'm definitely privileged in a lot of ways,

498
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:10,160
Speaker 5: like as far as having you know, people to lean

499
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 5: into to like it not to be like a twenty

500
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:13,520
Speaker 5: four to seven thing.

501
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,439
Speaker 4: And even like with that, there is an.

502
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 5: Anxiety that I have developed having a child that never

503
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,879
Speaker 5: lived in me before at all, The fear of the

504
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 5: things happening in the world, the fear of even when

505
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 5: she's not with me and I don't have to be selfless,

506
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:35,640
Speaker 5: I'm still thinking about is somebody going to hurt her?

507
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 5: Abuse her? Is a fucking earthquit gonna happen when she's

508
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:42,120
Speaker 5: at my mom's house and I'm not there, Like these thoughts,

509
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,680
Speaker 5: like it's not even just about like the physical presence

510
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 5: of a child, it's like it's ingrained, like a mother

511
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,439
Speaker 5: is like who I am like at my core, And

512
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 5: because of that, it consumes a lot of my thoughts

513
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 5: And I fucking hate that, but I think that the

514
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,719
Speaker 5: difference is not living in that. So it's like I

515
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,439
Speaker 5: can say, yes I regret motherhood, Yes if I could

516
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 5: not be a mom and decide that in the past, yes,

517
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 5: that doesn't mean kill off my kids. Like I feel

518
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,160
Speaker 5: like people automatically think, you know what I mean, I mean.

519
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 1: That I want to change my this is my situation,

520
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,160
Speaker 1: and I yeah, and I'm here.

521
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,880
Speaker 5: But but the acceptance too, it's like, yeah, like that

522
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 5: does suck, and I feel like it's important, like with

523
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,399
Speaker 5: the platform that I have to like vocalize it so

524
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 5: people don't feel so shitty about having those feelings. But

525
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,400
Speaker 5: at the same time, you know what, I am a mom,

526
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 5: so it's like, yeah, this is annoying, But am I

527
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,879
Speaker 5: not gonna like get up and feed my child? Like absolutely,

528
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,640
Speaker 5: you know, it's like trying to not live in it.

529
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 5: You don't have to live in the feeling, and it's

530
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 5: okay to have the feeling as long as you're not

531
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 5: doing that, you know what I mean?

532
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:41,720
Speaker 3: Absolutely, Like feelings will come and they will go. And

533
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 3: the truth is, like having a child is the biggest

534
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 3: responsibility of all time. It's it's greater than taking care

535
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 3: of yourself. It's extremely overwhelming. When twenty twenty happened, I

536
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,959
Speaker 3: was like, I can't even run that far with her

537
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 3: on my back.

538
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 2: I don't know how to grow shit.

539
00:23:55,520 --> 00:24:00,080
Speaker 3: I like, I like real like primal instincts like of

540
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 3: of a mother come in. It's like, can I provide

541
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 3: for you if all? If I can't go to the supermarket,

542
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 3: can I grow food? There are all these things that

543
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 3: come into play. Fears, deep fears, like when I was

544
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 3: pregnant or when she was small. Even now, I would

545
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 3: have like the most morbid thoughts like oh my god,

546
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 3: what if she just falls over and knocks her? But

547
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,199
Speaker 3: I'm like, because it's it's how you're trained to be

548
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:19,959
Speaker 3: a mother, because you constantly have to be on your

549
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,400
Speaker 3: toes in case someone trips, in case someone does come

550
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 3: and snatch her up. I have the fucking strangest thoughts

551
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 3: that happen. What if I let her go to a

552
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,120
Speaker 3: pool party and she drowned? You know, it's a part

553
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 3: of like the initiation and like the primal being of

554
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:33,880
Speaker 3: being a mother.

555
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 2: But is it anxiety?

556
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 4: Fuck?

557
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:36,400
Speaker 2: Yeah?

558
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 3: Like is it fucking It's more like overwhelming is like

559
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,679
Speaker 3: the only word I can think of. But it's like

560
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 3: more than that, when you're connected to a child that's

561
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 3: connected to somebody else and you're not there a hundred

562
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 3: percent of the time, Like what is he saying to

563
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,439
Speaker 3: you about me? And like all these things of how

564
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 3: a mind is developed. Nobody really signs up for this shit.

565
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 3: Even the bitches who sign up for it don't really

566
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 3: know what they're signing up for. Every mom, every parent,

567
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 3: has had a moment like what the fuck have I done?

568
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 3: When you have a baby and a motherfucker is literally

569
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:07,880
Speaker 3: staying alive from your.

570
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 2: Titty, like I hate you? What the fuck I hate you?

571
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 3: You suddenly have an attachment and you're like, get the

572
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:13,919
Speaker 3: fuck away from me.

573
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 2: It feels fucking strange.

574
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 3: It's like the role of a mother can never really

575
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,239
Speaker 3: fully be captivated. No one will ever understand until you're

576
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 3: in that position. Even if you fucking love motherhood and

577
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,440
Speaker 3: from birth you wanted to be a mom, there are

578
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 3: always moments where you feel fucking like you're drowning and

579
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:33,400
Speaker 3: you're gonna stuf helpless.

580
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 2: Just like, yeah, you feel helpless.

581
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 1: It's a It's a totally different experience than any relationship

582
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 1: you've ever had before. And even in those relationships you've

583
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 1: hated that nigga too, and you regretted that nigga too,

584
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: and guess what, you're still there. You still love him,

585
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 1: you know, And I think like we that even just

586
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: that thought of like I wish I wasn't a mom,

587
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,119
Speaker 1: like feels like I don't know why. I feel like

588
00:25:55,040 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 1: men are able to be in this space of like, oh,

589
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: like she she had my baby. I didn't even want

590
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,239
Speaker 1: that baby, so they can like run with that, like

591
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 1: she had a.

592
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 2: Baby she wanted to do exactly like my baby.

593
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 5: Daddy wanted the baby and I didn't want the baby.

594
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:12,679
Speaker 5: He was the one on hands and he's begging for

595
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 5: the damn baby. I was like, I'm getting rid of

596
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 5: the baby.

597
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: I mean, he was like a lot of times, it's

598
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 1: not even a choice, and you don't have like you

599
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,160
Speaker 1: both have made this choice and you have to either

600
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 1: fulfill this choice or you know or don't you know,

601
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,320
Speaker 1: and sometimes the not fulfilling it is not an option

602
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 1: for you. And so you have children too, and it's

603
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,399
Speaker 1: like now you're faced with this new reality and you're

604
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 1: allowed to like have space to you know, have space

605
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 1: to kind of be honest, be honest about how you're

606
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 1: experiencing it and if you ever if you wanted to

607
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 1: experience it, and how you would do that experience over

608
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: if you could, And that's and that's and that's that's life.

609
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 2: Obviously.

610
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 1: We always you hope that you know you'd be a

611
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 1: mother like you, justin I know the type of mother

612
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,640
Speaker 1: you are. You are so hands on, you are so involved,

613
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 1: you care so much, you really like take your baby

614
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:02,120
Speaker 1: in and very serious. Yeah, like you are, like you're

615
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 1: also ten toes down, a bomb ass mother.

616
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 2: You are ten toes down for real, and so like,

617
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 2: let's not get that twisted.

618
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,919
Speaker 1: And it's just like, but like you are extremely honest

619
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 1: and just I commend you for your honesty because I

620
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: know a lot of women feel this way, and even

621
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 1: the ones listening to.

622
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,680
Speaker 3: It right now and are triggered as fuck right now,

623
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 3: Like it's okay to feel like sometimes you want to

624
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 3: be a fucking mom. I woke up this morning like

625
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 3: I don't want to take you to fuck to school

626
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 3: like a lot.

627
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 1: I literally woke up this morning like, wow, schools started,

628
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 1: which means I have to be up at a certain

629
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 1: time and be responsible for someone that sucks. I want

630
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: to feel bad for myself because I want to fucking

631
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 1: sleep in because I'm tired and I'm doing a fucking

632
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 1: business and i want to do my own ship.

633
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 2: And I'm gonna make you a lunch.

634
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: Like that's how I felt, And I was like, okay,

635
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:48,680
Speaker 1: but here I am. You want turkey, bacon and more

636
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 1: interesting for the lunch. I love you so much.

637
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 4: It's even a more.

638
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 5: Interesting feeling because a lot of my success is built

639
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 5: around sharing like experience as a mom.

640
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,679
Speaker 4: So I'm grateful for the you.

641
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 3: Would in this experience exact and in that space had

642
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 3: you not made the choice to be a mom.

643
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 5: Literally my business name is she really had a baby,

644
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 5: Like it's all about the baby, like you guys are

645
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 5: good moms. It's like incorporated into everything that we do,

646
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:24,359
Speaker 5: which should speak volumes to people about how connected to

647
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 5: our roles that we are, while still simultaneously being able

648
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 5: to not always like identify with that part.

649
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 4: Sometimes I want to identify with who I was before

650
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 4: I was a mom, you know what I mean?

651
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 5: And more than that person, like I'm saying, like it's

652
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 5: not always just Nyla, it's the thoughts like even death,

653
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 5: Like I think, like who would get her?

654
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 4: Like would there be enough money? Probably not what is

655
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 4: going to happen.

656
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 2: Like I relate to that. I relate to that.

657
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 1: I have those thoughts too, like what do I have

658
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 1: to leave her?

659
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 2: Do I have anything to leave her?

660
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 1: Like that anxiety enough was like why did I take

661
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 1: on this role? I'm not like worthy of this role? Actually,

662
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: like I can't.

663
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 2: There's never enough worthiness.

664
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 3: You're never good enough for your child because they're perfect,

665
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 3: they're literally from God. And you're like, I can't, I can't,

666
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 3: I can't fuck this up. Also I'm fucking it up. Yeah,

667
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 3: Like there were so many times I'm like, well, you

668
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 3: don't deserve this, but this is the position that I'm in,

669
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 3: and so now I've got to figure it out, you know,

670
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 3: Like it's there's just there's so many like levels to

671
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 3: like motherhood and even like you saying you didn't want

672
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 3: the kid and your baby daddy begged for it. Honestly,

673
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 3: I know like nine out of ten times of that

674
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 3: being the situation. But nobody talks about that. Nobody talks

675
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 3: about the gill of like somebody else telling a woman

676
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 3: you should have a baby and then.

677
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 1: You're gonna, yeah, you're gonna kill my baby.

678
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 3: Baby, and then being guilted into carrying and then then

679
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 3: not showing up and then feeling resentment over that because

680
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 3: men can do that, but like women, god forbid, you're pregnant,

681
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 3: you don't want you're of age, you don't want to

682
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 3: keep the baby. Like you're shamed for abortions, You're shame

683
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 3: for telling anyga you're in a relationship with, I don't

684
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 3: want to have a baby. There's all these things that

685
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 3: are not talked about and like get removed from the

686
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 3: man and like on you know, this expectation of how

687
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 3: women are supposed to show up and just be so

688
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 3: happy about motherhood and like what you said about like

689
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 3: you know the girl coming out and you know she's

690
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 3: she's had a death of a child. I think this

691
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 3: is another thing, as women were so empathetic that we're

692
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 3: constantly putting ourselves in people's other people's like put like

693
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 3: the position feeling in other people's feelings, and it's just

694
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 3: not realistic. You guys, like you could regret having a

695
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 3: baby and also be like and someone else can also

696
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 3: really want to get pregnant and not you can like

697
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 3: people can want parenthood and not be able to have

698
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 3: it naturally, and you can have a fucking eight abortions.

699
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 3: It can both exist and you can still not feel

700
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 3: take on somebody else's guilt because it's not your path

701
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 3: and it's not your story. You know, There's so many things.

702
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 3: Even I was talking to Jessica about this about like

703
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 3: even as we become successful in this space, as we

704
00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 3: are deserving of and worthy of, it feels like in

705
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 3: ways like a I'm scared of, like I'm still in

706
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 3: survival mode. And also like when I hear other people

707
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 3: struggling or in spaces and I'm like can't really like

708
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 3: I can relate and I feel almost guilt about the success,

709
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 3: but it's like I can't feel guilty because I put

710
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 3: in the work.

711
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 2: This is where I'm supposed to be.

712
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 3: It's just like having like drawing the line between empathy

713
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 3: and like your real feelings. Just because you can have

714
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 3: empathy for somebody else doesn't mean you should take on

715
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 3: the feelings of other people.

716
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 4: Right right, Yeah, you know what I mean.

717
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 5: It's really anxiety too, Like I'm always trying to be

718
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 5: proud of myself and I try to remind myself that

719
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 5: I have things that I'm in places and I'm in

720
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 5: positions that other people would like give anything for that

721
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 5: people are like pedal to the metal, grinding for right now,

722
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 5: Like I'm already there. But it's like I feel like

723
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 5: as a motivated person and as a creative there's never

724
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 5: enough that I'm really doing. Like there's always like the

725
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 5: next level that I can be at, the next thing

726
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 5: that I need to start, the next project, Like, especially

727
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 5: in the realm of social media specifically, like all of

728
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 5: our success is really attributed to social media and like

729
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 5: doing the things that we need to build followings and

730
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 5: build communities there, and that's something that is ever fucking changing.

731
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 5: I have to constantly switch around what I'm doing to work,

732
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 5: whether it's for the algorithm, whether it's for the interests

733
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 5: of my audience, my growing audience. There's like so many

734
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 5: pivots and shifts that you have to make that it's

735
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 5: hard to really sit down and be like wow, like damn, like.

736
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:28,479
Speaker 4: I did that.

737
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 2: I'm doing a good job.

738
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 5: I'm doing a great job, you know what I mean.

739
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 5: It's like, where's the next brand deal, where's the next

740
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 5: viral video? The viralness is something that I really have

741
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 5: to tap out of because it's like you'll go from

742
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 5: a period of like damn, I mean getting millions of

743
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 5: views on stuff to like damn, like only three hundred people. Yeah,

744
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 5: like that's something that someone would die for. There's people

745
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 5: posting stuff with ten likes. So it's it's still like

746
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 5: a level that you've reached, but.

747
00:32:55,280 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 4: It just it never feels like.

748
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 3: You're constantly and also like in fear, like how long

749
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 3: is it gonna last?

750
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 4: How long is it gonna last?

751
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 5: And that, and I mean realistically, like it's not not

752
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 5: from a negative perception, but how long it are individual

753
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 5: things gonna last? And how much are you gonna set

754
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 5: yourself up to be in a position to like pivot properly?

755
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 4: Right if Instagram? If Instagram goes down, is your TikTok? Right?

756
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 4: If TikTok goes down, is your email list? Right?

757
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 5: If your email list is right, it doesn't matter what's

758
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 5: next because you can pivot them there from there. You know,

759
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,720
Speaker 5: It's like it's much more there's so much more business

760
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 5: to it than I feel like people give it credit.

761
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 5: You know what I mean a lot of people that

762
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 5: aren't doing this work like almost talk shit. Oh I

763
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 5: wish I could just I wish I could just hold

764
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 5: up a thing and something something. You know, how many

765
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 5: fucking classes I've taken and how many people I've paid

766
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 5: to like understand usage rights, exclusivity, like reading through contracts,

767
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 5: like negotiating, like I've I'm really a fucking business woman.

768
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 5: So it's like at the end of the day, Yeah,

769
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 5: you see me fucking holding up a period, pat and

770
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 5: you're like, I wish I was getting paid thousands of

771
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 5: dollars to do that. You haven't even like put in

772
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 5: the work to understand. And it's not about just that,

773
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 5: you know. So it's like it's a lot. It's it's

774
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 5: fucking a lot, dude.

775
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 2: It's true. You're right, and you shit.

776
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 4: Jessica taught us. Okay, Jessica, we got we got an opportunity.

777
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 2: What do you think, Oh my god, remember Jessica told

778
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 2: us to ask.

779
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 1: That for a lot of a lot of like twenty racks.

780
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 3: No, I think it's like, say sixty Jessica, like we

781
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,800
Speaker 3: have like the big like this huge No, it was

782
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 3: not a huge opportunity.

783
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 2: They were not like an opportunity for a company. I

784
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 2: really wanted to both like we both were like, oh,

785
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 2: I was sure too.

786
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 1: I was like, it's a company that you would think

787
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 1: have a big budget.

788
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 2: They probably do have a big budget.

789
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 1: But I'm not sorry, not for us like that, not yet,

790
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 1: but it will be.

791
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 4: They would come back. You would be surprised.

792
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,400
Speaker 5: And that's the thing too, They do circle back and

793
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,839
Speaker 5: you would be surprised, Like sometimes it's just not where

794
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:51,319
Speaker 5: they're putting their efforts at that time.

795
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 1: But we've set the bar now, so now they know

796
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 1: they can't back. When they come back with no bullshit,

797
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 1: they're like the last time they asked for sixty g's,

798
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 1: so yeah, we can't give him no fuck there.

799
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 2: I'm manifesting that they're coming back.

800
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:05,319
Speaker 3: But like, thank you Jessica for having faith in us

801
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 3: even very.

802
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 2: Early, but nobody really did.

803
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, like ask for what we're worth, and and and

804
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 3: and and I know now that like the money is there.

805
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 3: Use Nigga's got the money, you know. It's just like

806
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 3: you are you gonna you're going to let them play

807
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 3: with you or not? And it is it is contract writing, Like, bitch,

808
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 3: I'm a hopeful lawyer, I'm a paralegal bitch.

809
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 2: Like like a lot of a lot of things go

810
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,279
Speaker 2: into just showing up.

811
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 3: I mean, I was one of those bitches was like, damn,

812
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 3: I want to be on the internet just doing shit

813
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 3: for fun. And now I'm like, oh my god, Yeah.

814
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 2: It's a lot. It's a lot of work. It's a

815
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 2: lot of it.

816
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:38,919
Speaker 1: And that's what I was talking about a few weeks

817
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 1: ago when I was saying, like my brain feels like

818
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,880
Speaker 1: I can't find words like turning like this on and

819
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 1: off switch of like being creative, but it also being

820
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 1: a fucking marketing guru and like a business guru and

821
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,439
Speaker 1: like breaking deals and like marketing acting like I'm someone

822
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 1: else when I'm talking to a brand, but bitch is

823
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: really me and.

824
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 2: I'm being negotiating the deal. I'm motherfucking autum nigga, Like

825
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 2: I that's what we got it. We got it up

826
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 2: a name.

827
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:04,800
Speaker 4: You don't need to be negotiating for yourself.

828
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,320
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, we need another email.

829
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 1: We actually do have a virtual assistant, but sometimes I

830
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 1: be responding from that account and I'm like, you know what,

831
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 1: let me just let me get in here and just

832
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: say some shit real quick.

833
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 5: But and I finally got a virtual assistant. I hired

834
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,880
Speaker 5: her like two weeks ago. It's life changers. Actual hire

835
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:23,920
Speaker 5: you letting her do it. I'm letting her get.

836
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, micromanaging ass letting her do it.

837
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 4: We're slowly getting there.

838
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 5: Like I have a very specific workflow that happens in Trello,

839
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,279
Speaker 5: and I basically give her like checklists and stuff and

840
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:33,399
Speaker 5: like I like go through.

841
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 4: But she's she's doing a great job so far. But

842
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 4: it's really my first hire.

843
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 5: And it's been like a lot to process to like

844
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 5: let stuff go. But I spend a lot of time

845
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 5: thinking that I was like more deserving of things because

846
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 5: I contder myself a relatively talented person.

847
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 4: I understand audio, I understand.

848
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 5: Extraordinarily, Like when we did the music video, I'm like,

849
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 5: here's the tripod that can fucking track us.

850
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 4: I'm gonna have the homegirl holding.

851
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,240
Speaker 5: Make sure the audio is right, got the car special effects,

852
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:04,319
Speaker 5: Like I know how to do all that shit.

853
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 4: So like.

854
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 5: So I have like such like a grasp on it

855
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,359
Speaker 5: that I don't want to like let go of because

856
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 5: I never feel like anyone's gonna do anything the way

857
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 5: that I'm going to do it, which could be true,

858
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 5: but me doing everything doesn't make me more deserving of

859
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 5: like any success that was coming to me. And I'm

860
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 5: starting to realize now where I want to like scale

861
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 5: up and do different things and really establish businesses and

862
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 5: have multiple platforms going that I do need help, and

863
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:35,240
Speaker 5: it's like it's so hard to let go of. Well, congratulations,

864
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,879
Speaker 5: so hard to let go of you know what I mean?

865
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 1: Well, because you almost get in a zone of like,

866
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:43,839
Speaker 1: because I feel this way too, I relate to this

867
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: of like you can do it all, well, you can

868
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 1: do it all, but like it's like no one's been

869
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,400
Speaker 1: able to do it better and like you want to

870
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: feel I'm not gonna explain this well, but it's like

871
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 1: this victimhoodness of shit that's like I did this, I

872
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 1: deserve this, I did it better, like you know, or

873
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 1: you're just like and then it and it's like you

874
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 1: can't do this, you don't care, like you're gonna fail it.

875
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 2: You're gonna fail me. I can't risk that.

876
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,479
Speaker 1: And it becomes like this really the space of like.

877
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 2: That too, because I felt that way too.

878
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:13,880
Speaker 1: It's like, bitch, I'm gonna just do it because you

879
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 1: can't do it, so.

880
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do it.

881
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: And then I'm gonna be mad at you for not

882
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 1: doing it when really you could have probably done it.

883
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 1: But I'm just gonna do it because I can probably

884
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 1: do it better and faster. But it might get the

885
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 1: same result, but it's just in the time and the

886
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 1: time period that I think is acceptable.

887
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 2: And it's like, I'm.

888
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 5: Such in a season of not wanting to do no more,

889
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 5: but I've accepted that. I finally accepted the thought of

890
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 5: like luxury that I have can come to me without

891
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,520
Speaker 5: the extreme like work ethic. And I think a lot

892
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 5: of that comes with like maybe even like not being

893
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 5: the doer, being the teacher, you know what I mean,

894
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 5: Like I know a lot of things.

895
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 4: It doesn't mean I.

896
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 2: Have to do a lot of things.

897
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: I'm also in the kind of like I'm also in

898
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,399
Speaker 1: the season of I don't want to be your teacher either,

899
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 1: like come as come ready, y.

900
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 4: About like seamless teaching.

901
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 5: I'm talking about original products, like I teach it once

902
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 5: and then it go yeah, I'm trying to set stuff up.

903
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 1: I'm teaching people how to like I'm just like, no,

904
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 1: I'm so about now, I'm ready. I'm so happy for help.

905
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,320
Speaker 1: I have no problem for help. I can't do this anymore.

906
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 1: I can't operate in this way anymore. And I think

907
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 1: that kind of came when my like I like I

908
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 1: think last year my anxiety became so overwhelming at one point,

909
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,800
Speaker 1: and I just like feeling like I can't balance anything

910
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,720
Speaker 1: that Like I literally like my body will tell me first,

911
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 1: like my body will start hurting, like my stomach will

912
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,840
Speaker 1: start hurting, I'll have anxiety attacks, or I'll just be

913
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,799
Speaker 1: so overwhelmed, I'll be a bitch. And it's like all

914
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 1: these signs telling me like, you can't do it, you

915
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 1: can't work like this anymore, and like you either choose

916
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,080
Speaker 1: to stay in that space or you figure it out.

917
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:54,320
Speaker 1: And obviously, granted some people can't afford fucking virtual assistance nannies,

918
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 1: whatever the case may be, but you get to a

919
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 1: point where it's like something has to give.

920
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's just like making room for it.

921
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 5: Like, so I started doing social media management, and so

922
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:07,840
Speaker 5: I have these clients and as messed up of a

923
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,280
Speaker 5: thing as this might sound, but it's like I found

924
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 5: someone that does more than I'm willing to do for

925
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 5: a rate that's less than I'm willing to do it for.

926
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 5: So what I'm doing now is like I'm ready to

927
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 5: start up an agency. Like I have a client that

928
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 5: pays me enough to pay someone else to do three

929
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 5: of my clients. It's like starting to think like that,

930
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:31,479
Speaker 5: Like that's like the business mindset, Like that's the things

931
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 5: that they don't teach you about success. Like we're conditioned

932
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 5: to believe that we are supposed to be the ones

933
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 5: doing the work. And that's why I've always been the

934
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 5: one doing the work because like you attribute that to

935
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 5: like you're worthiness or you know what I mean. Like

936
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 5: it is kind of like a victim mind state that

937
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,360
Speaker 5: I would have when I would see people having success

938
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:48,879
Speaker 5: and I'm like.

939
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:51,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, but like I edit my own shit, So that's different.

940
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 4: That's a victim the figure.

941
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:59,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're actually enjoying their success so much more than me.

942
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,439
Speaker 2: The goal is to make more and work less.

943
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 3: And I think even like energetically, we're shifting into a

944
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:08,880
Speaker 3: period of like the feminine and everyone is being pushed

945
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 3: in that way, and even us like, yeah, like pick

946
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 3: up this box, nigga, I'm not doing it.

947
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:17,360
Speaker 2: Like there are things that like as.

948
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 3: Creatives and like where we're at transitioning into bigger congloborates,

949
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 3: we can't do it all, and in fact, it's going

950
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 3: to hurt us more than it will help us. By

951
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 3: not giving away you know, giving you know, letting other

952
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 3: people do it.

953
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 2: You're supposed to do that. You're supposed to.

954
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 3: Outsource and make the money. You have done enough work

955
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 3: that you know what needs to happen that you can

956
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,879
Speaker 3: appoint somebody else to guide them to do it. And same,

957
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 3: Like I really want to be in my divine feminine

958
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 3: more and just be comfortable with letting people do for me.

959
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 3: And that's been my manifestation really, like I want to

960
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 3: work less and make more money.

961
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 4: I think.

962
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:59,239
Speaker 5: Also, it's a boss mind state, right, and so it's

963
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 5: telling yourself that you're that, which takes what takes a

964
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 5: lot for me to tell myself that, like I'm.

965
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 4: Doing my shit. I'm a boss, Like I have to remind.

966
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 5: Myself, like you are successful because I spend so much

967
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:14,320
Speaker 5: time in survival mode still regardless of what's happening.

968
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,720
Speaker 4: Like on the exterior, I spend a lot.

969
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 5: Of time in survival mode, and it doesn't make me

970
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 5: think like, oh, like you're doing it, like you're a.

971
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 4: Boss, you can do that. But it's like the reality

972
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:30,920
Speaker 4: is I'm I'm I'm really doing it, Like I know

973
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:31,399
Speaker 4: what it.

974
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 5: Takes to like make things happen, and I shouldn't feel

975
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 5: insecure about.

976
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 4: Acting like it, you know what I mean?

977
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 5: Like even when it comes to like finances and stuff,

978
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 5: like finances is such a tricky thing for me because

979
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:50,440
Speaker 5: like I am so cheap, but like so boogie at

980
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,399
Speaker 5: the same time, do you know what I mean?

981
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 4: It's like I.

982
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 5: Will literally pay for thirty five dollars burritos to come

983
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 5: to my door, but I do not own one designer

984
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 5: item because I cannot, like you know what I mean,

985
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,800
Speaker 5: I've spent one thousand dollars on eating out, but bitch

986
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:05,919
Speaker 5: a purse.

987
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 4: Couse how much I'm gonna go to Target.

988
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 3: But that's another thing, like even like for me, like

989
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 3: sometimes like my friend would this fucking deliver food to

990
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 3: the house? Dog walks all these says, I'm like this bitch,

991
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:17,560
Speaker 3: like like judging.

992
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 4: Her, like yeah, this rich rich by bitch.

993
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 3: But like not like I am trying to shift my mindset,

994
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 3: like if you can, if you have it, like fuck it,

995
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 3: like let this shit come to you. If this is

996
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 3: what happens when you make money, this is what you're

997
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 3: supposed to make your life more convenient.

998
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:33,759
Speaker 2: I'm gonna fluff and fold, I'm gonna order.

999
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:34,440
Speaker 4: The fucking food.

1000
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do the things because I deserve it.

1001
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:38,320
Speaker 3: Like even recently, I just bought a pair of expensive

1002
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:39,319
Speaker 3: shoes for the.

1003
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:40,439
Speaker 2: First fire like them.

1004
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:42,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I told everybody who said it, like them, Like,

1005
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 3: this's my first expensive pair that I bought myself, very proud,

1006
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 3: but like I'm like, bitch, you're thirty four years old,

1007
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,800
Speaker 3: you're allowed to have a pair of thousand dollars shoes.

1008
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 3: But in the past, like, bitch, they got Q shoes

1009
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,439
Speaker 3: right of Steve Madden. Okay, But it's just like it's

1010
00:43:56,440 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 3: the mindset shift and the removal of guilt because you've

1011
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,319
Speaker 3: been in the position where you couldn't afford it. So

1012
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 3: now it feels like not not feeling excessive, like it

1013
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 3: feels like it's too much. I can spend me I'm

1014
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,439
Speaker 3: like a thousand dollars on shoes, or I can get

1015
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 3: like five outfits from fucking I think.

1016
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 1: I think also you are allowed to shift what you

1017
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 1: what you what you want, what you're excited about. Like

1018
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 1: sometimes like maybe designer things are just really not your shit.

1019
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 2: Maybe they are.

1020
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 1: Maybe you've told yourself you don't deserve those things, you're

1021
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 1: not ready for that yet, or when you get to

1022
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 1: a certain level, that's the time to for those type

1023
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 1: of things, or maybe you just don't like that shit,

1024
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 1: and people want to make you feel like this is

1025
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,280
Speaker 1: These are the type of things you look on Instagram

1026
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:36,839
Speaker 1: every day you see bitches with fucking bags, and I'd

1027
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 1: be like, oh, she's so cute.

1028
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 2: I want that. I'm like, do I?

1029
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 1: But then I think in this in this last I'd

1030
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 1: say season two, like I have been more like my

1031
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 1: mom always told me I was cheap, But I grew

1032
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 1: up watching women in my in my life like indulge

1033
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 1: on themselves. If anything, I don't know where I got that,

1034
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 1: like scarcity. Well I do remember the actual defining moment

1035
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 1: in which I decided to have this scarcity mentality was

1036
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,799
Speaker 1: like based in childhood, a moment and a fear of

1037
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 1: money that came to be like, oh well, I don't

1038
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 1: need to have those certain things, like I'd rather have

1039
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 1: this than this, you know, but I think that, you know,

1040
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:13,919
Speaker 1: splurging on yourself is important, like even if it is

1041
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 1: for just even if it only feels good for like.

1042
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 5: It does because I'm unlearning like literally all of that

1043
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 5: negative shit in childhood, Like I remember getting off work,

1044
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:29,279
Speaker 5: my mom getting off work, not me, but my mom

1045
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 5: would get off work and she would go from payday loan,

1046
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:34,120
Speaker 5: place to pay a loan, place to pay a loan place.

1047
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 5: So naturally, when I first started working, like I got

1048
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 5: so caught up in like the payday loan scheme, you

1049
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:41,200
Speaker 5: know what I mean, Like I would be so quick

1050
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,399
Speaker 5: upon my MacBook for two hundred dollars to make sure

1051
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 5: I had a pack of Camos and fucking just like

1052
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:47,919
Speaker 5: dumb shit that I would do, you know what I mean.

1053
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 5: And it's like I still have very impulsive financial habits

1054
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:51,879
Speaker 5: that are not.

1055
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 4: Good at all, you know.

1056
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:56,799
Speaker 5: But the difference is I always tell people I feel like,

1057
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 5: you know, you get to a certain point where you're

1058
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 5: broke is a different kind of b It's like, yeah,

1059
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 5: I lose some money, but I got like twenty grand

1060
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 5: on the way, like I'm gonna be just coming, you

1061
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 5: know what I'm saying, Like I know I'm gonna be okay.

1062
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 5: But even that is like not necessarily good, Like you

1063
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,400
Speaker 5: want to start setting yourself up for the future, and

1064
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 5: I feel like there's a thin line between like the impulse.

1065
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 1: Listen if you're not yeah, no, for sure, listen, I'm not.

1066
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,320
Speaker 1: I'm not advocating for those that are like the last

1067
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:25,560
Speaker 1: dollar I've been there though I have spent my last

1068
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 1: dollar on fun ye sure, no many got groceries. My

1069
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:30,240
Speaker 1: brain is panic.

1070
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:33,279
Speaker 2: I go straight high. I held my breath at the supermarket.

1071
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 1: Like okay, thank god, or like I'm right back, but like, yeah,

1072
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,360
Speaker 1: don't do that. But I also think, like sometimes you

1073
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 1: have to like to break habits, you have to just

1074
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,280
Speaker 1: go and do them, like I had to just go start.

1075
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 1: I remember the when I bought like something really expensive

1076
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 1: for myself and I was like, oh my god, Okay,

1077
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 1: I did it. Okay, now I can do it again.

1078
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 4: I think I think I maybe get a little addicted.

1079
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, oh, I like that.

1080
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:58,480
Speaker 4: I've been looking at shoes like buys one pair that

1081
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 4: was me. With travel too, I think I can't.

1082
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 1: I'm impulsive with travel. I will spend the money real quick.

1083
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 1: That's a habit. But I'm okay with that habit. But

1084
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:07,759
Speaker 1: it is it's a happy where I will be like,

1085
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:10,080
Speaker 1: so if I spend this, will have how much more

1086
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:11,120
Speaker 1: money for four days?

1087
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 3: I don't care how broke I am. If I can go,

1088
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 3: if I have enough to go on the trip, I'm

1089
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,200
Speaker 3: gonna go. When I broke up my baby daddy, I

1090
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:19,799
Speaker 3: went to the d of Dominican Republic. I didn't really

1091
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 3: have all that money, and I negotiated that I would

1092
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 3: transport all the weed if I didn't have to pay

1093
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 3: for the house. I have a negotiation of weed, like

1094
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 3: a little bit less an outside to take some out

1095
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 3: because it was not about to fit.

1096
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 2: But wow, I went to Dominican Republic.

1097
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 4: Though this is all allegedly.

1098
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 1: Allegedly everything that's said on the show is for entertainment purposes.

1099
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, ALLEXI.

1100
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 5: It looks different for everybody, right, So it's like some

1101
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:52,839
Speaker 5: people really value like bags, like I value.

1102
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,640
Speaker 4: Fucking someone coming to my house every week and fucking

1103
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:58,320
Speaker 4: cleaning for me. Yeah, I mean, it's it's different for everybody.

1104
00:47:58,440 --> 00:47:58,920
Speaker 2: It's different.

1105
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 1: I mean even like people like they want to go

1106
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:03,400
Speaker 1: on our retreat, you know, like our retreat is like you.

1107
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 4: Want to, you should, I.

1108
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:08,719
Speaker 1: Have to go, But like people either like I can't

1109
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:10,280
Speaker 1: afford it, but I'm like, bitch, you buy.

1110
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:13,279
Speaker 2: It, you by you eat out three times a day.

1111
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 1: Just don't do that for a week and you could

1112
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 1: afford it, bitch, Like really that's all it really takes.

1113
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 3: Yea, and you can get donations from your community.

1114
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 1: But like investing in things that really make you feel good,

1115
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:25,840
Speaker 1: whether that's a retreat, whether that's a designer bag, whether

1116
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,800
Speaker 1: that's you know, I don't know, some rented dick, whatever

1117
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 1: it is, your whatever your cup of tea is. You know,

1118
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 1: I support indulging in those things in a healthy manner.

1119
00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 2: Me too.

1120
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 3: You know what I really enjoy I really enjoy like

1121
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 3: communing with my friends and like witnessing the glow up

1122
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 3: and the evolution.

1123
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 5: No, I'm so proud of you guys, Like, honestly, this

1124
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:48,719
Speaker 5: is so dope. Like, you guys have really been motivating me.

1125
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 5: Like in a lot of ways.

1126
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:54,279
Speaker 1: You the jump, You're the you are the you were

1127
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 1: the standard. You know what I'm saying, Like we've learned

1128
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:57,080
Speaker 1: so much from you.

1129
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:59,239
Speaker 5: You guys have been so consistent that you should be

1130
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 5: really proud of that. That's like, that's everything.

1131
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 3: This is the most I've shown up for anything, any relationship, anything.

1132
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 2: This is the most I've ever done.

1133
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:11,239
Speaker 3: This is the most I've ever been committed right here

1134
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 3: in video. Yeah, thank you for being a friend. And

1135
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:18,879
Speaker 3: you know a lot of these bitches online can be weird,

1136
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 3: So I'm like really happy that you're like you're cool

1137
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:21,839
Speaker 3: in real life.

1138
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 5: I think the anxiety balance is it, you know what

1139
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 5: I mean, being super fucking anxious and insecure sometimes kind

1140
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:30,719
Speaker 5: of balances like we fake like.

1141
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:33,680
Speaker 2: I'm too just anxiety. Jessica.

1142
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:37,879
Speaker 3: Jessica came over one time and it's like, when I leave,

1143
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,239
Speaker 3: I'm gonna think y'all talking about me.

1144
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:42,480
Speaker 4: I was like, I've been thinking ship like that too.

1145
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 2: I was like, but she was like, I'm still going

1146
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 2: to think that. I was like, all right, girl, we're

1147
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 2: not We're not. We still love you.

1148
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 3: But like sometimes it's like having the friend or being

1149
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 3: the friend that's like bold enough to be.

1150
00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 2: Like, I feel weird inside?

1151
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 3: Are you gonna talk about I think about people think

1152
00:49:58,640 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 3: people are talking about me all the time.

1153
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 4: It's a crazy thought.

1154
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, am I crazy?

1155
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 4: Sometimes they are? Because sometime people got you fucked up?

1156
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:07,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, sometimes you really have to like lean into that voice.

1157
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 5: I'm like, I can distinguish between when it's just like

1158
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 5: general anxiety versus you know, when somebody's moving.

1159
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:17,040
Speaker 3: But you do, you do, but also you know when

1160
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 3: you're moving weird. I tell you, I went to Ashley's.

1161
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:20,520
Speaker 3: You do not want to be her friend? Real back

1162
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 3: to drop some shit off. I was there for like

1163
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 3: three hours. I was like, I wonder if she wants

1164
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 3: me to.

1165
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 4: Leave, spinning on the pole, like playing with them.

1166
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:30,760
Speaker 1: Baby, she was good, this is the name Ashley.

1167
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 2: Oh I think I think, I told Jessica.

1168
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not sure she wants me to leave,

1169
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:37,319
Speaker 3: but I'm still here.

1170
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:37,879
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1171
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:39,000
Speaker 2: She was like, I really like you, you know how

1172
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,760
Speaker 2: to entertain yourself. I'm like, I'm not leaving.

1173
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 5: I too have been at Ashley's house where she's just

1174
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:46,160
Speaker 5: like off the side, She's like online and I'm just

1175
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 5: like sitting.

1176
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,319
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'll baby see your kids. I love them. Yeah,

1177
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 2: oh my god, I love those babies. Yeah.

1178
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,840
Speaker 3: But I really, I really do enjoy watching our growth

1179
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 3: and being able to talk like this and like, you know.

1180
00:50:58,200 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 2: Be colleagues and friends.

1181
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 3: Because this, like we said, this is the third time

1182
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:06,120
Speaker 3: Jessica came on the show, and we haven't really got

1183
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:08,799
Speaker 3: a chance to dive deep into what happened between the

1184
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 3: first show and the second, the second appearance and the

1185
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 3: third appearance, which is now Jessica fell head first by

1186
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:19,360
Speaker 3: mistake into a Christian cult.

1187
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 1: How do I've almost forget this?

1188
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 3: It's crazy, but wait, let me let me get the

1189
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:27,319
Speaker 3: backward before we hear about the ship, because the ship

1190
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:32,160
Speaker 3: right here deserves I have to, like to understand this completely.

1191
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:33,000
Speaker 3: I need to smoke first.

1192
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 1: It's back with time, I've been like getting way better

1193
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 1: at rolling backwoods. Like my Backwood journey was like off

1194
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:41,440
Speaker 1: to a rough start, but now I'm proud to say

1195
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 1: that I am a honorary Backwood roller.

1196
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 3: I know, since Steph fucking showed us at the retreat,

1197
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:48,399
Speaker 3: literally it's changed the game.

1198
00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 2: I was doing it all wrong.

1199
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 3: If you guys are like breaking it down the middle,

1200
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,560
Speaker 3: don't do that. You under roll it.

1201
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 2: People have all these tools.

1202
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:57,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, you do not need all these times, you know,

1203
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 1: scissors and shit.

1204
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:01,439
Speaker 3: Find the tab where natural en rolls and unrolled that ship,

1205
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:03,319
Speaker 3: and then guess what, reroll that ship?

1206
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:05,000
Speaker 2: Best back roade you ever rolled? I know, I can't

1207
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:05,760
Speaker 2: believe that's the secret.

1208
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:08,760
Speaker 1: You're welcome and wash it, yeah, wash it and honey,

1209
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 1: basically there's other steps, but you don't have to do

1210
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:12,759
Speaker 1: these steps. But we're extra bitious, so we're going to

1211
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 1: do the steps anyway.

1212
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 3: The cult, I'm sure she's not the only woman to

1213
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 3: fall deep into a cult of some sort of toxic dick,

1214
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 3: you know, we all fall in some ways into some ship.

1215
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,799
Speaker 2: Jessica really was. She really wanted to not be our

1216
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:29,400
Speaker 2: friends for a while. Like it was.

1217
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:32,320
Speaker 1: It was it was going against all of her beliefs

1218
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 1: and her beliefs, and we were. I think the church

1219
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:37,239
Speaker 1: was praying over her to hopefully end this relationship. Maybe

1220
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 1: do an unfollow on Instagram. She might have un followed

1221
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:40,240
Speaker 1: us for a while.

1222
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:44,440
Speaker 3: You did, she didn't follows because you know, we've been

1223
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 3: her fucking well.

1224
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 2: We don't don't have.

1225
00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:49,880
Speaker 1: That technology to check, but but yeah, I thought I

1226
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:50,319
Speaker 1: was like she.

1227
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:54,520
Speaker 4: Couldn't follow us because I was so much about sex.

1228
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god, they specifically talked about us. You know,

1229
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:00,520
Speaker 1: this is me like praying to gosh, just joined a

1230
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:03,360
Speaker 1: Christian cult that shamed the fuck out of her. Yeah,

1231
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:05,040
Speaker 1: and uh yeah we were.

1232
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 2: We did.

1233
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 1: We recorded an episode and then it came out like

1234
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 1: a month or two later. But she's like, I can't

1235
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,760
Speaker 1: stove head first in the cult within those two months.

1236
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 4: So much anxiety about that because I just.

1237
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:15,800
Speaker 5: Felt like kind of like that weird energy we were just

1238
00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 5: talking about. I was like, they're gonna think I'm on

1239
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 5: some fakes ship because I'm like not about to post

1240
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:21,920
Speaker 5: this episode because I can't promote it.

1241
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:23,840
Speaker 1: On my Wait wait, and then we were supposed to

1242
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:25,839
Speaker 1: do a live show and Jessica was supposed to open

1243
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 1: it and host it, and I told you me, I

1244
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 1: was like.

1245
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 2: How is she gonna? Like we have to we have

1246
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:31,360
Speaker 2: to fire her, Like, how is she gonna She's not

1247
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:33,120
Speaker 2: gonna curse? She's like, she can't curse. How the fuck

1248
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:34,240
Speaker 2: is she going to open our shop?

1249
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 3: We can't tell her that she can't be on our

1250
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,719
Speaker 3: show because she's a Christian. Now, I was like, we

1251
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 3: cannot fire her because now she's dedicated to the Lord.

1252
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:45,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was more than the Lord. I was like,

1253
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:46,839
Speaker 2: maybe we need to write it for her.

1254
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:48,399
Speaker 4: We need tube.

1255
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 2: I was like, maybe we need to save her.

1256
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:51,520
Speaker 1: Is she okay?

1257
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 2: But she seemed devoted.

1258
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:54,840
Speaker 3: She seemed to you seemed we were also afraid to

1259
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:56,799
Speaker 3: intervene and seem like like demons.

1260
00:53:57,040 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 5: I deleted twenty million views off of my YouTube Channe

1261
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 5: deleted not archived because I believe that Jesus Christ was

1262
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:05,319
Speaker 5: watching and that those videos that I was doing were

1263
00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:08,799
Speaker 5: leading people into sin. They were literally mom wraps, they

1264
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 5: were vlog There was so much like my YouTube channel

1265
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 5: was going up. YouTube next had just like selected me

1266
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 5: for YouTube, black poured into me.

1267
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:18,440
Speaker 4: I was like building up the channel and then.

1268
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 5: I was like, like, God is gonna bless me tempoled

1269
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 5: for making this sacrifice and like no longer doing this

1270
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:30,400
Speaker 5: kind of content. And you guys were just like a

1271
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:38,279
Speaker 5: reflection reminder, reminder, oh yeah, trigger. I was like, just

1272
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 5: I just gotta pray for them, like I prayed I

1273
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:47,759
Speaker 5: was praying for Yeah. It was look at us, did yeah,

1274
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:53,920
Speaker 5: look thank you. And it's interesting because I came out

1275
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,800
Speaker 5: pretty much feeling like almost like an atheist at this point,

1276
00:54:56,960 --> 00:55:01,040
Speaker 5: like I believe so much more in evolution that I

1277
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:04,360
Speaker 5: ever have, and the fact that everything is a social construct,

1278
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:05,120
Speaker 5: including religion.

1279
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:06,400
Speaker 3: Oh my god, we're here to take you to the retreat.

1280
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:07,920
Speaker 3: The girl don't turned into atheist?

1281
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 2: Can we find them?

1282
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 1: We need to find a middle ground.

1283
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:11,720
Speaker 4: You know.

1284
00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:13,719
Speaker 3: I feel like when you go onto a dark place

1285
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 3: of religion, which many people do, because it can get

1286
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 3: very dark when people believe wholeheartedly and something, it could

1287
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:21,520
Speaker 3: be very manipulative. And that's like it's when we talk

1288
00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:24,200
Speaker 3: about Christianity. We're not like anti christ or whatever the fuck,

1289
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 3: but we are anti cults. And you got to be

1290
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:30,000
Speaker 3: careful and like it can be very like when people

1291
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 3: are forcing you. They try to take over her social

1292
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:33,360
Speaker 3: media platforms, you guys.

1293
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, so it's like they say that they at the time,

1294
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:37,560
Speaker 5: I was like, no one's telling me to do it,

1295
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 5: but it's like that pressure, that like insinuation of like

1296
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 5: the fact that it's not right and like you probably.

1297
00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 4: Should, like but just pray about it, you know what.

1298
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:46,080
Speaker 2: She wasn't allowed to be alone in a car with

1299
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 2: a boy.

1300
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:48,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, I wasn't allowed to be alone with men anymore.

1301
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:52,520
Speaker 5: They were sending like I would go on like kingdom dates.

1302
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 1: Like oh, yeah, you told us about these dates where

1303
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:54,960
Speaker 1: they would join you.

1304
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:57,680
Speaker 4: The craziest rice is like recent, like this is like

1305
00:55:57,719 --> 00:55:58,279
Speaker 4: within like.

1306
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:02,360
Speaker 5: The past, and so like you go on like kingdom

1307
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 5: dates and it's basically like where you go with another

1308
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 5: sister and another brother and it's like always for a

1309
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:09,560
Speaker 5: time because you're never supposed to be like alone with.

1310
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 4: Someone because they could because.

1311
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:14,920
Speaker 5: It could be tempting. And then they don't even they

1312
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:15,959
Speaker 5: don't kiss until the altar.

1313
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 2: I was gonna ask you can you kiss like the

1314
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:20,920
Speaker 2: altar of the wedding? Yeah, you can't kiss, like.

1315
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 5: Most Yeah, they don't because they just don't want. The

1316
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:28,440
Speaker 5: ic C is the International Church of Christianity.

1317
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:30,360
Speaker 4: It used to be called the ICOC.

1318
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:32,839
Speaker 5: They do a lot of like college recruits. But they

1319
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:34,960
Speaker 5: just caught me at a low time, Like they literally

1320
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:37,440
Speaker 5: caught me when my car broke down deliver in a.

1321
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:39,799
Speaker 4: Postmate's order, and they like they came up on you

1322
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:40,240
Speaker 4: on the street.

1323
00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:42,239
Speaker 5: No, and she was my lift driver because my car

1324
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 5: was getting told, and she was like, come out to

1325
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:44,560
Speaker 5: the church.

1326
00:56:44,719 --> 00:56:47,879
Speaker 4: And I was just like yeah, like.

1327
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:48,640
Speaker 2: Her cars getting told.

1328
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:51,680
Speaker 5: The perfect indifferent about it because like I have a

1329
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 5: friend who I'm pretty close to.

1330
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:55,000
Speaker 4: Still, that's like a part.

1331
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 2: Of it because you brought her over there.

1332
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 4: No, she like I met her in there.

1333
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:00,520
Speaker 5: But then there is a certain part that's like how

1334
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 5: was I not going to be closer. She was what

1335
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:04,920
Speaker 5: they call a discipler. My discipler, so every week she

1336
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:06,200
Speaker 5: would come to my house and I would have to

1337
00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 5: like confess my sin.

1338
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 2: To her and she's a therapist.

1339
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:11,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, we would go over it, and I remember, like

1340
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 5: one of the funniest things is I kept confessing that

1341
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:15,040
Speaker 5: I could not stop.

1342
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:17,880
Speaker 2: Mastering every week.

1343
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:19,120
Speaker 4: Every week, I.

1344
00:57:19,120 --> 00:57:22,000
Speaker 5: Was just like I and I would like literally be

1345
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:23,280
Speaker 5: touching myself and crying.

1346
00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:26,000
Speaker 4: Oh no, yeah it was.

1347
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was that I would be so sad and

1348
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 5: disappointed by myself. I remember there was one time where

1349
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:33,080
Speaker 5: someone told me someone that was hiring the church. I

1350
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 5: was telling them I was struggling with my baby daddy

1351
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,640
Speaker 5: and we were fighting, and she basically told me, yeah,

1352
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 5: I mean, you just have to accept the fact that,

1353
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 5: like this is obviously a consequence of your sin. You know,

1354
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 5: like you've had a baby like outside of the context

1355
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 5: of like a marriage.

1356
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:48,200
Speaker 1: So now like damn, the shame of motherhood.

1357
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:50,560
Speaker 5: The pandemic is really what got me out because it's

1358
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:52,440
Speaker 5: like it's a small group of people, so there's a

1359
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 5: lot of like.

1360
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 4: Love bombing going on, and there's.

1361
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 5: A lot of people that live in like sister houses

1362
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:59,440
Speaker 5: and brother houses like where they all like stay together

1363
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 5: really like modern day roommates in.

1364
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:05,840
Speaker 2: The back modern day roomates like Christian. Yeah.

1365
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 4: A couple of times, Yeah, I invited everybody.

1366
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:13,440
Speaker 2: I didn't invite us. I'm gonna get back.

1367
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 4: She's like, you had said something along the lines of

1368
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:19,560
Speaker 4: like yeah, birl, you know, growing up, and I was

1369
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:20,440
Speaker 4: like I can bring her back in.

1370
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:26,720
Speaker 3: She was yeah, I was, And then I didn't want

1371
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:27,959
Speaker 3: her to think that I was not gonna be friends

1372
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:29,440
Speaker 3: with her because she's a hardcore Christian now, so I

1373
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:31,080
Speaker 3: was still going to make an effort to let her

1374
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:33,280
Speaker 3: know that I still accepted her even as a Christian woman.

1375
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,040
Speaker 3: But I didn't make it to the church, thank god,

1376
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:36,120
Speaker 3: because I would have been like Jessica, I.

1377
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 1: Just couldn't even try on me because she had the

1378
00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 1: alley with you.

1379
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:43,400
Speaker 3: She She wrote us in a group chat, I don't

1380
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:44,720
Speaker 3: think I'm gonna be able to do the show because

1381
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 3: I'm not cursing and I mean Erica literally looked at

1382
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 3: each other like, what the fuck is this bitch talking

1383
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:52,000
Speaker 3: about my God?

1384
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:54,920
Speaker 4: You guys were so like supportive but concerned.

1385
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 2: We were you.

1386
00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:59,920
Speaker 5: Were like okay, like girl, like that's fine, but just

1387
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 5: like no, like you know.

1388
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 3: It's okay to be who you are something I was like,

1389
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 3: you could be who you are, Like, you could be

1390
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:07,320
Speaker 3: who you are and also believe in Christ.

1391
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:09,479
Speaker 2: Why is this? Why is this?

1392
00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 4: Oh? The video?

1393
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 2: Let me see?

1394
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,080
Speaker 1: This is what comes up when I when I opened

1395
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:15,600
Speaker 1: up our texts.

1396
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:18,240
Speaker 5: I was I literally have a video recording of this

1397
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 5: girl's second on my titties when I'm eating a Hamburger.

1398
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:20,960
Speaker 2: Yah, you're lucky.

1399
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:26,320
Speaker 1: Yes, there's a video of Jessica maybe getting her titty sex.

1400
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:29,360
Speaker 1: I literally only have texts up until January eleventh.

1401
00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:32,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, we probably all got new phones most of the

1402
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 5: times between then. But but yeah, luckily the pandemic got

1403
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:38,320
Speaker 5: me out because you know, like I said, there's love

1404
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:40,320
Speaker 5: bombing happening. But we were on a zoom call and

1405
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 5: my pastor's wife was like, isn't it so amazing that

1406
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 5: God gave a stimulus check to give to the church,

1407
00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:48,720
Speaker 5: not my stimmy And that's where I got you out

1408
00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:51,760
Speaker 5: when I started realizing how heavy the pressure was for

1409
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:52,440
Speaker 5: the money.

1410
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:54,800
Speaker 4: Expect Yeah, that's uncomfortable off.

1411
00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:56,960
Speaker 5: You know, there's like this pressure to share, especial because

1412
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 5: had a following share share a share, and I was

1413
00:59:58,760 --> 00:59:59,800
Speaker 5: just getting uncomfortable.

1414
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 4: And they're all great people, are.

1415
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:03,800
Speaker 3: They Like they're just they're great people who got got

1416
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 3: by a call, That's what I'm saying.

1417
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:07,680
Speaker 5: Like they believe what they believe, like and they're convicted.

1418
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:09,840
Speaker 5: They were as convicted as I was at that time.

1419
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 5: And it's like I am like just now kind of

1420
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:14,440
Speaker 5: trying to figure out like my spirituality.

1421
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:17,280
Speaker 4: But like I said, I just started to studying evolution.

1422
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:19,080
Speaker 1: Right out of that well, you have to you have

1423
01:00:19,160 --> 01:00:23,080
Speaker 1: to regain the trust your your trusting yourself of being

1424
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 1: able to kind of like decipher what you actually want

1425
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:27,360
Speaker 1: to believe in and what's what feels good to you

1426
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 1: right now.

1427
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:31,600
Speaker 5: It's like the bottom line is like energy, the universe,

1428
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:36,440
Speaker 5: like reciprocation, like karma. It's not anything that's definitive to

1429
01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:38,280
Speaker 5: like a higher power necessarily.

1430
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:42,320
Speaker 4: But yeah, that was a rough time and I came

1431
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:46,040
Speaker 4: out strong. I came out. She's like, fuck.

1432
01:00:45,920 --> 01:00:46,320
Speaker 1: It, I was.

1433
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:47,120
Speaker 2: I was. I was.

1434
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:49,720
Speaker 3: I really was afraid that I was going to lose

1435
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:53,040
Speaker 3: my friend. I was like, because Jessica's one person like

1436
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 3: I will call I'm telling some function.

1437
01:00:54,960 --> 01:00:56,560
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm not to do some fluction.

1438
01:00:56,760 --> 01:00:59,320
Speaker 5: I think the last conversation that we had before we

1439
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:02,400
Speaker 5: went was like, there's this guy and he wants me

1440
01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:04,880
Speaker 5: to dig my fingernails into his back.

1441
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:07,480
Speaker 4: And like scratch his back. And I was like, he's like, okay,

1442
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 4: do you want to share locations before you go?

1443
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:12,280
Speaker 2: Like next find this human?

1444
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:12,800
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1445
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:14,240
Speaker 2: I was so weird.

1446
01:01:14,280 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 4: You were sending the text and.

1447
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:17,680
Speaker 2: I was like, listen, some weird shit.

1448
01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:19,120
Speaker 4: We were plotting on money.

1449
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 5: Like we were literally like just constantly thinking, like you

1450
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:23,320
Speaker 5: were like, hey, I might have a plate for you.

1451
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 2: Soon I was like, what does that mean? What does

1452
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 2: that mean? What's going on? I think I was maybe

1453
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:31,680
Speaker 2: doing some shady shame.

1454
01:01:31,680 --> 01:01:34,280
Speaker 5: I would tell Jessica only I would tell you definitely

1455
01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 5: do We're like yeah, like they were keep us.

1456
01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 2: On the low low, keep us on the low low.

1457
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:41,800
Speaker 1: Do somewhere Eric about three hundred and sixty two days, right,

1458
01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:44,120
Speaker 1: But then the fact is like twenty days later she

1459
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:44,720
Speaker 1: was into Jesus.

1460
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:46,280
Speaker 4: I was like, I should have never told her about that.

1461
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:48,040
Speaker 2: I should never talk her about that.

1462
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 4: Now she now she needs Now she's getting saved.

1463
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:50,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1464
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:52,520
Speaker 4: I needed it at that time to get out of

1465
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:53,200
Speaker 4: that mind stay you know what.

1466
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:53,480
Speaker 2: I think.

1467
01:01:54,240 --> 01:01:58,000
Speaker 3: She was also in the bathroom listening to Curse Bird

1468
01:01:58,120 --> 01:02:04,360
Speaker 3: music alone, like she was afraid to like like Spotify.

1469
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:06,600
Speaker 5: You know how Spotify and Apple Music do those like

1470
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:08,440
Speaker 5: recaps at the end of the year. That year was

1471
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:11,800
Speaker 5: so interesting because literally the first half was like Swoop,

1472
01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 5: which is like a Christian rapper, Marvin Staff, like all

1473
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:17,440
Speaker 5: these like Christian artists that were the first six and

1474
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:18,680
Speaker 5: then it was like straight.

1475
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:21,360
Speaker 4: Out it was like Nipsy, Megan Stallion.

1476
01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:23,280
Speaker 5: It was just like all of the rap and stuff

1477
01:02:23,280 --> 01:02:25,439
Speaker 5: that I was praying to like be free from because

1478
01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:27,320
Speaker 5: I didn't want to listen to secular music I think

1479
01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:27,959
Speaker 5: is what it's called.

1480
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:30,120
Speaker 4: Yes, Wow, it was wild.

1481
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:33,000
Speaker 5: I really found like Christian rappers and was really like

1482
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:34,280
Speaker 5: banging it in the way.

1483
01:02:37,480 --> 01:02:41,560
Speaker 1: You know how Jessica bangs ratchet music, all the ghetto

1484
01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:44,600
Speaker 1: music music of California.

1485
01:02:45,360 --> 01:02:49,480
Speaker 4: I love her.

1486
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:50,880
Speaker 2: Cloud artists she found. I'm like, where the who is?

1487
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:54,480
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine her listening four hundred followers on

1488
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:56,840
Speaker 1: Instagram and Jessica is her biggest fan.

1489
01:02:56,920 --> 01:03:01,560
Speaker 3: Okay, literally, can you do already of your Christian cult life?

1490
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:03,840
Speaker 4: Because I did a little well, I.

1491
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:07,080
Speaker 5: Did a YouTube series while I wipe my my channel,

1492
01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 5: and like literally one of the fucking clips is like

1493
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:13,919
Speaker 5: I deleted twenty million views for God and it's literally

1494
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:21,520
Speaker 5: like me, like the thumbnail yeah, and then the last video, Yeah,

1495
01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:24,600
Speaker 5: the last video that's in that like playlist is literally

1496
01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:26,080
Speaker 5: like why I left the church?

1497
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

1498
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:30,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think the playlist is that one time I

1499
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:31,000
Speaker 4: joined the cult.

1500
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:33,960
Speaker 5: It's literally like it it documents my entire baptism.

1501
01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:36,800
Speaker 2: Okay, well we'll link it in this episode. That's the best.

1502
01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 2: That's fair. I think people people need, people need a reference.

1503
01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:41,880
Speaker 4: Okay, some people will watch.

1504
01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:44,240
Speaker 1: It and I need a reference. I need don't get

1505
01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:48,800
Speaker 1: sucked in. Don't not inviting you to the I want

1506
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:50,680
Speaker 1: to say I have a diagnosis. I'm not diagnosed of

1507
01:03:50,680 --> 01:03:53,240
Speaker 1: have a solution. And it's like it's it's the medicine

1508
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:55,400
Speaker 1: you need in order to find the happy middle ground

1509
01:03:55,440 --> 01:04:04,080
Speaker 1: between atheism and extreme religionism. Mushrooms scared, come overroom and nature.

1510
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:08,040
Speaker 4: I'm so scared. So as soon as it gets to

1511
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:09,240
Speaker 4: separated and turn it into.

1512
01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:12,320
Speaker 2: Patterns, We're not going to date. I'm not. We're going

1513
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:15,320
Speaker 2: to duela you into this. Yeah, we're versilocybin guides.

1514
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:19,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, we let our first two psilocybin experiences in Costa

1515
01:04:19,920 --> 01:04:24,920
Speaker 1: Rica and now we're psilocybin dula's for sure. And I

1516
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 1: think that when you go, when you go, there's something

1517
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:30,360
Speaker 1: about going into nature and like taking mushrooms, and you

1518
01:04:30,480 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 1: do both.

1519
01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:31,640
Speaker 2: You don't, you don't have to.

1520
01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:35,480
Speaker 1: But it becomes your god, it becomes your religion, and

1521
01:04:35,520 --> 01:04:38,760
Speaker 1: you start to realize that what everything around.

1522
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:41,280
Speaker 2: You is spirit, yeah, and so including you.

1523
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:45,200
Speaker 1: And so it makes you it'll restore your faith in

1524
01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 1: whatever search. No, I think it'll restore your faith and

1525
01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:51,480
Speaker 1: whatever you're searching for, which we can't tell you that,

1526
01:04:51,520 --> 01:04:53,520
Speaker 1: Like you have to decide what you believe in. But

1527
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:55,920
Speaker 1: going to nature and like opening your mind in that

1528
01:04:55,920 --> 01:04:58,200
Speaker 1: way really allows for the answers to kind of come

1529
01:04:58,240 --> 01:05:01,080
Speaker 1: in and in a way that feel I guess like

1530
01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:05,280
Speaker 1: more safe and like sure. So basically I'm telling you

1531
01:05:05,280 --> 01:05:06,360
Speaker 1: have to come to our retreat.

1532
01:05:07,120 --> 01:05:08,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, is that where we do it?

1533
01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:10,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, you could do We could do it in the backyard.

1534
01:05:11,560 --> 01:05:13,280
Speaker 2: We can do it before, we can do it in

1535
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:15,280
Speaker 2: Erica's backyard. We can do it before.

1536
01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 3: In Erica's backyard has like a private like a private session.

1537
01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:21,280
Speaker 4: All you're gonna like, Josh, you're gonna need that's where

1538
01:05:21,280 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 4: everyone does.

1539
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:22,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is.

1540
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:26,000
Speaker 1: I think you're gonna need a few mushroom treatments. I'm

1541
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:27,320
Speaker 1: gonna say about four to five.

1542
01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:30,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're really getting prescribed like.

1543
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 1: Micro dose and then like because because I have a

1544
01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:34,880
Speaker 1: feeling the first time you take it, you're gonna say

1545
01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:36,919
Speaker 1: you don't feel it because you're fighting it. You're gonna

1546
01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:38,760
Speaker 1: fight it, try and fight it because you like to

1547
01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:41,480
Speaker 1: be in control. Yeah, we're gonna have to do it

1548
01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:44,920
Speaker 1: about three to five to four to five times.

1549
01:05:44,960 --> 01:05:47,200
Speaker 4: And how long does it last. It depends on what

1550
01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:47,560
Speaker 4: you take.

1551
01:05:47,640 --> 01:05:49,360
Speaker 1: Like it could be like four hours, it gonna be

1552
01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:52,680
Speaker 1: six hours. Okay, be ten hours if you go crazy,

1553
01:05:52,760 --> 01:05:53,800
Speaker 1: but we're not gonna do.

1554
01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:55,360
Speaker 2: It that that's gonna be in the unit five.

1555
01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:57,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, we might not get there. I don't know if

1556
01:05:57,600 --> 01:05:58,440
Speaker 1: Jessica needs to go.

1557
01:05:58,880 --> 01:05:59,960
Speaker 2: I don't know a rabbit hole.

1558
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:01,760
Speaker 3: But you know what's some of my most like anxiety

1559
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:05,520
Speaker 3: riddled friends, like who did mushrooms for the first time,

1560
01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:09,600
Speaker 3: are absolutely attached, Like I like bitches, I never fought

1561
01:06:09,640 --> 01:06:12,600
Speaker 3: with love mushrooms like I love mushroom, like fucking mushroom affocate.

1562
01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:14,520
Speaker 4: I'm like bitch a lot.

1563
01:06:14,360 --> 01:06:18,040
Speaker 1: Because it's yeah, it really you have to get out

1564
01:06:18,080 --> 01:06:19,600
Speaker 1: of your head. You know, you have to get out

1565
01:06:19,640 --> 01:06:23,400
Speaker 1: of your head, and you just do easily. It comes

1566
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:26,000
Speaker 1: with ease. It doesn't feel well. If you try to

1567
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:29,320
Speaker 1: fight it, it can feel weird. But this is my diagnosis.

1568
01:06:30,120 --> 01:06:32,959
Speaker 5: As long as nobody lets me go live not gonna

1569
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:35,960
Speaker 5: live away, You're not You're not gonna want your phone.

1570
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:38,280
Speaker 3: You can't see on your phone on your mushrooms also

1571
01:06:38,320 --> 01:06:39,000
Speaker 3: for those listening.

1572
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:40,200
Speaker 2: We are not medical specialists.

1573
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:43,040
Speaker 3: We are not prescribing any type of form of drugs

1574
01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:44,280
Speaker 3: to anyone on the show listening.

1575
01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:46,120
Speaker 1: Everything said here is for entertainment purposes.

1576
01:06:46,360 --> 01:06:54,120
Speaker 2: Thank you. Jessica, did you pull a card?

1577
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 4: I did pull a card. It's basically wet now because

1578
01:06:57,880 --> 01:06:58,760
Speaker 4: my hand's been sweating.

1579
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:01,920
Speaker 3: I saw you holding onto it. You couldn't put it down,

1580
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:03,560
Speaker 3: But I forget. Maybe it's her comfort, like, maybe it's

1581
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 3: just hiding it from us.

1582
01:07:06,040 --> 01:07:09,080
Speaker 4: So this is the card of a man on a

1583
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:10,080
Speaker 4: horse with sticks.

1584
01:07:10,200 --> 01:07:10,720
Speaker 2: Let me say that.

1585
01:07:11,240 --> 01:07:13,680
Speaker 4: Let me don't think I was gonna know what that

1586
01:07:13,760 --> 01:07:14,320
Speaker 4: card looks?

1587
01:07:15,800 --> 01:07:16,840
Speaker 2: Are the six of wands?

1588
01:07:17,040 --> 01:07:20,960
Speaker 1: Yes, so see one. This is the six the Roman numeral.

1589
01:07:23,160 --> 01:07:26,080
Speaker 1: These are ones usually like this kind of indicates well,

1590
01:07:26,120 --> 01:07:28,640
Speaker 1: you kind of have to know what kind of elements

1591
01:07:28,680 --> 01:07:29,880
Speaker 1: you're going to see in cards to know.

1592
01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:31,520
Speaker 2: But the wands.

1593
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:36,960
Speaker 3: Usually wands are usually of like intuition, magic things that

1594
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:42,400
Speaker 3: are not tangible. Upright, It means success, public recognition, progress,

1595
01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:43,400
Speaker 3: self confidence.

1596
01:07:44,760 --> 01:07:45,160
Speaker 2: Wow.

1597
01:07:45,560 --> 01:07:48,040
Speaker 3: The six of wands appears when you have reached an

1598
01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:51,360
Speaker 3: important milestone or are achieved in significant goal and you

1599
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:55,000
Speaker 3: are confident, self assured, and successful. You harness your strengths

1600
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,160
Speaker 3: and talents to bring about a happy outcome in your

1601
01:07:57,280 --> 01:08:00,600
Speaker 3: endeavors and made it through the chaos of the five wands,

1602
01:08:00,920 --> 01:08:04,720
Speaker 3: minimizing your distractions and focusing on the task at hand. Yes,

1603
01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:07,440
Speaker 3: there were challenges along the way, but you overcame them

1604
01:08:07,480 --> 01:08:10,919
Speaker 3: by concentrating your energies on the one target. The six

1605
01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:13,560
Speaker 3: of Wants suggests that not only have you achieved your goals,

1606
01:08:13,840 --> 01:08:16,559
Speaker 3: but you are also receiving public acknowledgment for your efforts.

1607
01:08:16,800 --> 01:08:19,559
Speaker 3: You may have recently received an ward, aclaimer recognition from

1608
01:08:19,560 --> 01:08:20,639
Speaker 3: your peers for your work.

1609
01:08:20,920 --> 01:08:21,639
Speaker 2: It may even be.

1610
01:08:21,680 --> 01:08:23,479
Speaker 3: Just a pat on the back, but this attention is

1611
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:25,200
Speaker 3: a big boost to your confidence and gives you the

1612
01:08:25,200 --> 01:08:26,919
Speaker 3: strengths to continue your endeavors.

1613
01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:28,559
Speaker 2: The six of Wands.

1614
01:08:28,360 --> 01:08:30,600
Speaker 3: Also encourages you to put yourself out there and be

1615
01:08:30,640 --> 01:08:33,400
Speaker 3: proud of what you achieved. Shout out your success from

1616
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:35,920
Speaker 3: the rooftop and set it all out there for others

1617
01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:38,559
Speaker 3: to see and cheer you on. Be open to receiving

1618
01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:42,600
Speaker 3: love and support from your biggest cheerleaders who are energized

1619
01:08:42,640 --> 01:08:46,080
Speaker 3: by seeing you succeed. Akas Yes, now is your time

1620
01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:49,760
Speaker 3: to shine. It's a positive encouragement to believe in who

1621
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:53,080
Speaker 3: you are and your accomplishments so far. Have faith in

1622
01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:55,559
Speaker 3: what you've done and how others will receive it. Do

1623
01:08:55,680 --> 01:08:58,880
Speaker 3: not like fear or guilt stand in the way of

1624
01:08:58,880 --> 01:08:59,600
Speaker 3: your success.

1625
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:00,960
Speaker 2: You ought to be proud.

1626
01:09:01,040 --> 01:09:03,799
Speaker 3: Hold your head up high, and you you are worthy

1627
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:04,560
Speaker 3: of admiration.

1628
01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:10,560
Speaker 1: Yes, fuck those bitches and the d ms, those and

1629
01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:12,519
Speaker 1: the d ms, And yes you are a CEO, and

1630
01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:15,240
Speaker 1: yes you should step into your You are stepping into

1631
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:17,240
Speaker 1: your power. But continue to step into that power of Yes,

1632
01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:19,040
Speaker 1: I know how to do this, and I deserve to

1633
01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:21,679
Speaker 1: be here, and I can start my multi media company

1634
01:09:21,680 --> 01:09:23,200
Speaker 1: where I hire people to do this ship I do,

1635
01:09:23,240 --> 01:09:26,120
Speaker 1: and I work less and chill more, chill more.

1636
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:30,080
Speaker 4: Yes, I'm excited. Yeah, I'm ready.

1637
01:09:30,320 --> 01:09:33,360
Speaker 5: You're ready some of these cards, you know, because I

1638
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:35,040
Speaker 5: also threw all that type of ship out.

1639
01:09:35,720 --> 01:09:38,840
Speaker 3: You throw all the sage bitch, the camera mail camera

1640
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:40,120
Speaker 3: bitch throughout camera milt.

1641
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:44,120
Speaker 2: Because she throw out every content. Though regular.

1642
01:09:45,280 --> 01:09:48,479
Speaker 3: Live in this house, Jesus did not say this ship

1643
01:09:48,520 --> 01:09:49,160
Speaker 3: about lavender.

1644
01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:50,839
Speaker 2: Okay, unless it's coming from the ground.

1645
01:09:51,360 --> 01:09:51,920
Speaker 4: I'm a week.

1646
01:09:54,840 --> 01:09:57,840
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Of course, we'll see you next year. No,

1647
01:09:57,920 --> 01:09:58,920
Speaker 2: we'll see you before next year.

1648
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:03,200
Speaker 4: Five. Yeah, well I'm starting the podcast. It's like a podcast.

1649
01:10:03,400 --> 01:10:06,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, because you also let go of that

1650
01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:09,280
Speaker 3: podcast opportunity when you want to Christianity.

1651
01:10:09,439 --> 01:10:11,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we were like, what the fuck is wrong

1652
01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:11,960
Speaker 2: with you?

1653
01:10:12,040 --> 01:10:12,320
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1654
01:10:12,680 --> 01:10:16,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, freaking Stitcher Radio offered me like a thirty.

1655
01:10:15,800 --> 01:10:19,559
Speaker 5: Six episode I remember podcast and I was like, can

1656
01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:21,519
Speaker 5: I talk about Jesus?

1657
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:26,080
Speaker 4: And they were like, we're gonna get back to you.

1658
01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:29,839
Speaker 3: And then she didn't have a podcast, but you know what, honestly,

1659
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:31,559
Speaker 3: like maybe a pause you from some shit you weren't

1660
01:10:31,560 --> 01:10:33,080
Speaker 3: supposed to do, Like are you gonna I think so?

1661
01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:35,479
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that, you know, I get to like

1662
01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:37,800
Speaker 5: go into the season and be wanting to now like

1663
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:40,200
Speaker 5: do it like on like my own terms and to

1664
01:10:40,240 --> 01:10:41,760
Speaker 5: be a myack thing. It's not going to be a

1665
01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:43,840
Speaker 5: profitable thing right away like it would have been with them,

1666
01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:45,080
Speaker 5: because it's not.

1667
01:10:45,880 --> 01:10:50,160
Speaker 2: But they were going to pay her paid you need

1668
01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:50,760
Speaker 2: to take this.

1669
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:53,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, and Rember, yeah, it was.

1670
01:10:54,360 --> 01:10:57,200
Speaker 2: But you're gonna have the freedom of your being your own.

1671
01:10:57,080 --> 01:10:59,439
Speaker 4: And I really did do that. I forgot that. I

1672
01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:02,439
Speaker 4: almost forgot about it too, but I was like, this

1673
01:11:02,479 --> 01:11:03,000
Speaker 4: bitch is crazy.

1674
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:04,519
Speaker 2: You know how long we've been doing this? But no money.

1675
01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:06,760
Speaker 1: You said, you have not one episode and they offer

1676
01:11:06,800 --> 01:11:11,160
Speaker 1: you some money and Jesus said no. Jesus said yes.

1677
01:11:11,240 --> 01:11:13,599
Speaker 5: What's also because I went in doing those pilot episodes

1678
01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:14,160
Speaker 5: as myself.

1679
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:16,800
Speaker 4: They like circle back, listen.

1680
01:11:16,880 --> 01:11:18,360
Speaker 2: The cults will take you over quickly.

1681
01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:19,960
Speaker 3: It was about a four to six week period that

1682
01:11:20,040 --> 01:11:22,519
Speaker 3: Jessica was taking over, completely transformed into a cold.

1683
01:11:24,080 --> 01:11:26,840
Speaker 5: That don't happened for a reason. So we'll do something soon.

1684
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:28,559
Speaker 5: I'm getting it all set up. I'm excited.

1685
01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:31,679
Speaker 2: Thank you guys. Well, I'm excited that you're no longer

1686
01:11:31,680 --> 01:11:33,360
Speaker 2: in a cold. I'm excited for this season.

1687
01:11:33,479 --> 01:11:36,639
Speaker 5: We're opening a studio, so maybe that would be nice. Yeah,

1688
01:11:36,680 --> 01:11:39,240
Speaker 5: I basically have like, yeah, I'm saying the whole thing up.

1689
01:11:39,439 --> 01:11:40,760
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say, you have a studio in your house

1690
01:11:40,800 --> 01:11:41,080
Speaker 2: right now?

1691
01:11:41,160 --> 01:11:42,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, make it easy.

1692
01:11:42,520 --> 01:11:43,800
Speaker 2: I'll can do a show up and walk out.

1693
01:11:43,920 --> 01:11:44,800
Speaker 4: I know.

1694
01:11:44,560 --> 01:11:49,040
Speaker 1: I remember working last money on stuff though, see how

1695
01:11:49,040 --> 01:11:51,479
Speaker 1: it works at the house. You can always resell that ship. Yeah,

1696
01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:53,760
Speaker 1: you can sell that you can. You might need to

1697
01:11:53,760 --> 01:11:54,160
Speaker 1: buy it from you.

1698
01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:56,880
Speaker 2: It's fun anyway, y'all.

1699
01:11:57,840 --> 01:12:02,679
Speaker 1: If you guys are around, we are in Atlanta tonight, yes,

1700
01:12:02,800 --> 01:12:06,320
Speaker 1: September twenty eighth. We are doing our Good Moms Gone

1701
01:12:06,360 --> 01:12:08,280
Speaker 1: Wild Live show tonight, y'all.

1702
01:12:08,320 --> 01:12:10,360
Speaker 2: So if you are in the Atlanta.

1703
01:12:09,920 --> 01:12:11,920
Speaker 1: Area or around, if you feel like driving to go

1704
01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:12,759
Speaker 1: see some bitches.

1705
01:12:13,640 --> 01:12:14,400
Speaker 2: It starts to eight.

1706
01:12:14,479 --> 01:12:16,160
Speaker 3: So if you were watching this in the morning and

1707
01:12:16,200 --> 01:12:17,840
Speaker 3: the afternoon, you still got time home, you.

1708
01:12:17,920 --> 01:12:19,400
Speaker 2: Still got time, got something to.

1709
01:12:19,320 --> 01:12:22,360
Speaker 3: Wear, and Jessica's gonna be there and the whole cruise there.

1710
01:12:22,680 --> 01:12:25,320
Speaker 3: We're gonna have special guests. We're gonna have a fun

1711
01:12:25,360 --> 01:12:27,880
Speaker 3: fucking time. We're gonna be drinking, We're gonna wild out

1712
01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:30,880
Speaker 3: because it's good Mom's Gone Wild, bitches. So make sure

1713
01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:33,920
Speaker 3: you bring your friends, bring your niggas, bring your whole tribe,

1714
01:12:33,960 --> 01:12:37,080
Speaker 3: but don't bring those motherfucking kids, and come and hang

1715
01:12:37,120 --> 01:12:38,040
Speaker 3: out with us.

1716
01:12:38,439 --> 01:12:41,120
Speaker 2: And if you can't come, you can still watch the

1717
01:12:41,160 --> 01:12:46,760
Speaker 2: show tonight on click the episode. You can still watch

1718
01:12:46,800 --> 01:12:47,080
Speaker 2: the show.

1719
01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:50,120
Speaker 1: Click the episode link and click the link in this

1720
01:12:50,240 --> 01:12:55,280
Speaker 1: episode description to stream our live Atlanta's show live. If

1721
01:12:55,280 --> 01:12:57,920
Speaker 1: you can't make it, this is just call your friends,

1722
01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:00,479
Speaker 1: call your girls, have a little party, come through, Drink

1723
01:13:00,520 --> 01:13:02,559
Speaker 1: some alcohol, roll up some weed, and make it a

1724
01:13:02,600 --> 01:13:04,960
Speaker 1: girl's night. It's about to be lit. We're having some

1725
01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:09,160
Speaker 1: really amazing special guests to join us. So I'm excited

1726
01:13:09,320 --> 01:13:09,599
Speaker 1: me too.

1727
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:11,160
Speaker 2: We're about to we might shore our chip.

1728
01:13:11,200 --> 01:13:13,720
Speaker 1: I just love Atlanta, I do I every time I

1729
01:13:13,760 --> 01:13:14,000
Speaker 1: go there.

1730
01:13:14,040 --> 01:13:16,000
Speaker 2: I have a good time. Yeah. Same, it's nice. We

1731
01:13:16,040 --> 01:13:18,880
Speaker 2: had a really good time with our men there. Did

1732
01:13:18,880 --> 01:13:21,799
Speaker 2: you guys Have we took our men to Atlanta? Yes, bitch?

1733
01:13:23,080 --> 01:13:25,400
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, girl, We've taken the man to like

1734
01:13:25,479 --> 01:13:27,040
Speaker 3: seventeen places in three months.

1735
01:13:27,479 --> 01:13:28,840
Speaker 4: The men have gone everywhere.

1736
01:13:28,920 --> 01:13:31,760
Speaker 2: I'm like, we went to a sex party to go

1737
01:13:31,760 --> 01:13:33,840
Speaker 2: to a sex club. I was kind of like, yeah,

1738
01:13:34,439 --> 01:13:35,719
Speaker 2: a really strange sex club.

1739
01:13:36,240 --> 01:13:38,719
Speaker 1: We were on a mission to go to a sex club.

1740
01:13:38,800 --> 01:13:40,519
Speaker 3: This time we can we might really need to go,

1741
01:13:40,680 --> 01:13:41,800
Speaker 3: okay to like the real one.

1742
01:13:41,880 --> 01:13:43,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe after tonight we'll go not Orlando.

1743
01:13:44,040 --> 01:13:47,960
Speaker 3: Thumbs up in Nigga, Bye Nigga. No one told you

1744
01:13:48,000 --> 01:13:50,439
Speaker 3: to be that enthusiastically thumbs up and behind the scenes,

1745
01:13:51,479 --> 01:13:53,439
Speaker 3: I'm not abusive at home.

1746
01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:58,680
Speaker 1: Shut up. Remember you said that should be episode I

1747
01:13:58,720 --> 01:14:00,520
Speaker 1: have a little crazy and I.

1748
01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:03,439
Speaker 2: All right, We'll see you guys next week.

1749
01:14:03,720 --> 01:14:26,240
Speaker 7: Bye.

1750
01:14:20,520 --> 01:14:27,879
Speaker 2: M Solo record

1751
01:14:30,400 --> 01:14:30,599
Speaker 7: Las