Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, we have some exciting news to share. ABC
Speaker 1: News Studios has turned Caroline Brega's story from Betrayal season
Speaker 1: four into a docuseriies you'll get to meet the people involved,
Speaker 1: You'll hear from people who have never spoken before, and
Speaker 1: you get to see where this story took place. We
Speaker 1: are so proud and excited to share it with you all.
Speaker 1: Stream Betrayal Dirty Secrets now on Hulu or Hulu for
Speaker 1: Disney Plus.
Speaker 2: It was like not being able to look away from
Speaker 2: her car accident. I couldn't look away. I couldn't put
Speaker 2: it down. It was almost like reading a novel. But
Speaker 2: this was my real life.
Speaker 1: I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about
Speaker 1: the people we trust the most and the deceptions that
Speaker 1: change everything. Samantha Gray as a professor of psychology. Over
Speaker 1: the years, She's taught a variety of classes.
Speaker 2: I was teaching couples in family therapy. I taught adolescent development.
Speaker 2: I taught an undergrad class called Psychology and Technology.
Speaker 1: She got her start in the academic world exploring how
Speaker 1: tech shapes are personal identity and how we relate to
Speaker 1: each other. Samantha has always loved technology when she was
Speaker 1: growing up in the eighties. Her favorite toy was a
Speaker 1: wiz Kid.
Speaker 2: It was literally a laptop. It had a little handle,
Speaker 2: so I would carry it like it was a little briefcase.
Speaker 2: That kind of went along with my vibe.
Speaker 1: Her vibe, which Samantha describes.
Speaker 2: As opinionated, inquisitive, and bookish.
Speaker 1: Whenever she was around her more rowdy cousins, I was
Speaker 1: just kind.
Speaker 2: Of like patting my pearls, like, oh my, like they're
Speaker 2: going to play in the dirt, Like, oh no, I
Speaker 2: had my little purse and I was right at the
Speaker 2: adults table.
Speaker 1: Samantha wanted to be the first in her family to
Speaker 1: go to college.
Speaker 2: I'd read the newspaper with my dad and we'd watch
Speaker 2: the nightly news together.
Speaker 1: Samantha's dad was in the military. Growing up, they moved
Speaker 1: a lot.
Speaker 2: I was born in Chicago, but then we moved to
Speaker 2: Texas and then Georgia, and then we moved to Germany
Speaker 2: and then California.
Speaker 1: Finally her family settled down in Indianapolis, Indiana. In high school,
Speaker 1: Samantha floated between a few social groups.
Speaker 2: I wasn't in the super nerdy group. I wasn't in
Speaker 2: the cool kids group. I was right there in the middle.
Speaker 2: I was the editor for my high school newspaper.
Speaker 1: She wasn't really into high school sports unless she was
Speaker 1: writing about a game for the school paper.
Speaker 2: We got passes to go to the football games and
Speaker 2: report from the sidelines. I was like VIP coming through.
Speaker 2: My access to the cool kids was having to interview players.
Speaker 1: One of those cool kids was a guy we're going
Speaker 1: to call Michael.
Speaker 2: Michael was popular. He was a football player. He was
Speaker 2: tall and big. Everyone called him Big Michael.
Speaker 1: Michael had moved out of his parents' house and lived
Speaker 1: on his own. He already seemed like an adult, and
Speaker 1: Samantha admired.
Speaker 2: That he was already kind of grown and maybe that
Speaker 2: helped him be the cool guy because he had his
Speaker 2: stuff together.
Speaker 1: They both stayed in Indianapolis for college, but they weren't
Speaker 1: in touch. A few years into college, a guy Samantha
Speaker 1: was talking to invited her to a house party at
Speaker 1: his place he lived with a roommate. When Samantha got
Speaker 1: to the party, her date went off to smoke with
Speaker 1: his friends, leaving Samantha alone.
Speaker 2: I didn't I didn't drink. I felt uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Samantha wandered through the party feeling out of place. Then
Speaker 1: she walked past the door to the garage. She immediately
Speaker 1: recognized Michael. It turned out he was her dates roommate.
Speaker 2: He had converted the garage to a game room. He
Speaker 2: had speakers picked up in there.
Speaker 1: Michael and some of his friends were hanging out on
Speaker 1: a couch in the garage playing video games.
Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, like video games, Like there's
Speaker 2: a targeted activity with these people in this room.
Speaker 1: Samantha made her way over to the couch. Michael saw
Speaker 1: her approaching and immediately made room for her to sit
Speaker 1: next to him. He handed her controller and showed her
Speaker 1: how to play.
Speaker 2: He's very charismatic, very cacarious, charming. I remember having a
Speaker 2: great time.
Speaker 1: They took turns playing a golf video game and laughed
Speaker 1: at each other's mistakes. Hanging out with Michael, Samantha finally
Speaker 1: felt relaxed at the party. After a while, Samantha got
Speaker 1: up to head back into the main house.
Speaker 2: You had to go down a step to get to
Speaker 2: the loom. I was coming out of the garage and
Speaker 2: I fell off that step. I hyper extended my knee
Speaker 2: and the whole party got quiet.
Speaker 1: Everyone stopped and stared at her. She was so embarrassed.
Speaker 2: I was in searing pain. I was like, let me
Speaker 2: just go home and get out of here. Everything, it'll
Speaker 2: be fine. I went to stand up and I couldn't
Speaker 2: fare wait on it.
Speaker 1: She couldn't get up. She looked around the room, waiting
Speaker 1: for someone to help her. She spotted her date, but
Speaker 1: he just seemed embarrassed on her behalf. But then she
Speaker 1: felt hands lifting her up. It was Michael.
Speaker 2: Michael went into straight action. He came over. He's like,
Speaker 2: can you stand on it? We tried that I couldn't.
Speaker 1: When it became clear that she couldn't stand on her own,
Speaker 1: Michael didn't hesitate.
Speaker 2: He literally scooped me into his arms in front of
Speaker 2: my date, takes me outside, carrying me, puts me in
Speaker 2: his car, buckles me in, drove me to the hospital.
Speaker 1: Samantha was awestruck. Michael was taking care of her like
Speaker 1: it was the most natural thing in the world.
Speaker 2: I thought highly of him and was grateful because my date,
Speaker 2: I don't think, had a car or a driver's license.
Speaker 2: He literally swept me off my feet.
Speaker 1: The next day, she got a text from Michael. He
Speaker 1: had gotten her number from someone at the party, so
Speaker 1: he could check in on her. He asked her how
Speaker 1: her knee was doing.
Speaker 2: After that, it was like we'd never stop talking.
Speaker 1: She learned more about his life. Even though they were young,
Speaker 1: Michael was already a dad. He had two daughters with
Speaker 1: his ex girlfriend. He was balancing parenting with going to college.
Speaker 1: This didn't scare Samantha away. Michael was responsible and seemed
Speaker 1: like a great dad.
Speaker 2: I just felt like we had so much to talk about.
Speaker 1: Their conversations became more and more flirty. Michael invited her
Speaker 1: back to his house to play video games. This time
Speaker 1: it was just the two of them.
Speaker 2: We had our first kiss at his house in that garage,
Speaker 2: pretending to play video games.
Speaker 1: After that, they started going on dates. In a lot
Speaker 1: of ways, Michael and Samantha were pretty different, but the
Speaker 1: more they hung out, the more they found things they
Speaker 1: had in common.
Speaker 2: We were two kids coming from families that we were
Speaker 2: the first generation to go to college. He was innately intelligent,
Speaker 2: but he was quick witted for sure, and so I
Speaker 2: think we kind of acted over both wanting and academic life,
Speaker 2: like to go to college and to talk about the
Speaker 2: classes that we were in.
Speaker 1: Whenever she was with Michael, life felt brighter and more fun.
Speaker 2: I was definitely head over heells. Michael could do no
Speaker 2: wrong in Miyes. He was so kind to me. He
Speaker 2: was hilarious.
Speaker 1: Six months later, they made their relationship official. When people
Speaker 1: from their high school saw them out together. They were confused.
Speaker 1: Michael was super social in high school. Everyone remembered him,
Speaker 1: but Samantha had flown under the radar.
Speaker 2: I'd be standing right next to him and they'd be like, Michael,
Speaker 2: what's that big night? They would not acknowledge me, and
Speaker 2: I'd realized they didn't know that we were together. And
Speaker 2: so then when he would bring me into the conversation,
Speaker 2: they were like, oh, hey, how do you know like
Speaker 2: to go to our high school? I was yep.
Speaker 1: People seemed to think they were an odd couple, but
Speaker 1: neither of them cared about what other people thought.
Speaker 2: We would drive up from Indian Flis to Lake Michigan.
Speaker 2: There was this gorgeous peer and we'd go out on
Speaker 2: the pier and we would pack like a picnic.
Speaker 1: This was more than just a summer flame. They continued
Speaker 1: dating throughout college. As the seasons changed, their relationship stayed
Speaker 1: steady and grew stronger.
Speaker 2: A lot of things weren't very traditional. I didn't really
Speaker 2: cook and clean. He did the cooking.
Speaker 1: Another untraditional thing they did is that while they were
Speaker 1: both in college, they decided to get married at the courthouse.
Speaker 1: One because they were in love, and two because being
Speaker 1: married would help Samantha qualify for financial aid on her tuition.
Speaker 1: The arrangement worked for both of them. Samantha and Michael
Speaker 1: made just enough money to scrape by.
Speaker 2: We were really struggling. We only gay gas at a
Speaker 2: gas station called Speedway, and we'd save up our points.
Speaker 2: There were times where that was dinner, like hot dogs, natchos, whatever.
Speaker 1: In her senior year, Samantha started applying to PhD programs.
Speaker 2: And I got into a PhD program straight out of undergrad.
Speaker 1: The program was in Tennessee. It would be a big change,
Speaker 1: but this was more than just an academic opportunity. There
Speaker 1: was a lot at stake.
Speaker 2: When I got into a PhD program. It was this
Speaker 2: amazing opportunity to really change our lives.
Speaker 1: So Samantha and Michael decided to move to Tennessee for
Speaker 1: a few years. Michael's daughters stayed in Indiana with their mom.
Speaker 1: It was a big sacrifice for him to be away
Speaker 1: from his kids, but they knew they were building a
Speaker 1: better life for all of them. Starting over was challenging.
Speaker 2: Grad school was tough. It was very oddbous that my
Speaker 2: peers had backgrounds that were different than mine. They would
Speaker 2: talk about their vacation backpacking through Europe or whatever. We
Speaker 2: qualified and were on food stamps.
Speaker 1: Even though their lifestyle wasn't glamorous, they were happy.
Speaker 2: He was so fun. He was this bigger than life character,
Speaker 2: like he wanted to grab life and live it. And
Speaker 2: so even though we didn't have a lot of money,
Speaker 2: we were also in a new part of the country.
Speaker 2: We were in eastern Tennessee, which butts up to the
Speaker 2: Smoky Mountains. We would pack a picnic and go to
Speaker 2: the Smoky mountains.
Speaker 1: Michael always reminded Samantha that life wasn't supposed to be
Speaker 1: one long sprint. They had to take time to slow
Speaker 1: down and enjoy where they were. Sitting by his side,
Speaker 1: the smoky mountains wrapping around them, remembered how far they
Speaker 1: had come.
Speaker 2: Here we are with this fresh mountain air, and like
Speaker 2: here you are on a PhD program. Things are looking up.
Speaker 2: We're still poor, but gosh, darn't it like we're just
Speaker 2: on the cusp of things being good.
Speaker 1: Samantha and Michael dreamed of having a child one day.
Speaker 1: Michael was already supporting his two daughters back in Indiana,
Speaker 1: and they just didn't have the money to afford to
Speaker 1: raise a child of their own.
Speaker 2: I knew we did not have money, but I did
Speaker 2: want to have a kid. I still wanted to dream
Speaker 2: about it, and we did. He was also a big dreamer, so.
Speaker 1: In between late night classes and long shifts at work,
Speaker 1: they allowed themselves to dream.
Speaker 2: I remember us sitting at the computer in the hallway
Speaker 2: and our house. I opened a Microsoft word document and
Speaker 2: we created this list of baby names if I had
Speaker 2: a girl. I always wanted one of these gender neutral names,
Speaker 2: names that were like Andy or Peyton.
Speaker 1: There was one baby name that was at the top
Speaker 1: of Samantha's list. We're going to use a pseudonym that
Speaker 1: shares the same unique style.
Speaker 2: Samantha loves Ellington.
Speaker 1: She didn't know any other kids with that name. Michael
Speaker 1: loved it too. At this point in her life, having
Speaker 1: a kid was still far away, but she hoped that
Speaker 1: dream might one day be within reach. Even though they
Speaker 1: didn't have a lot of money, Samantha and Michael were happy.
Speaker 1: They were in love, and they had big plans for
Speaker 1: their future. After years of hard work, Samantha got her
Speaker 1: PhD in psychology. She got an internship and then a
Speaker 1: postdoctoral fellowship, and not just any fellowship.
Speaker 2: I got to do my post stoc with Cambridge Hospital
Speaker 2: in Massachusetts. That is a Harvard medfellowship.
Speaker 1: Walking across campus was a real pinch me moment for Samantha.
Speaker 2: Here I am with a school id for Harvard, and
Speaker 2: I'm going to Harvard Libraries. I'm on Harvard campus for
Speaker 2: someone from my background. Never would I have thought that
Speaker 2: I would have had any opportunity like that.
Speaker 1: They moved to a town thirty minutes outside of Boston.
Speaker 1: It was the start of a new chapter. Michael had
Speaker 1: a steady job and Samantha was chasing her dreams. In
Speaker 1: their free time, they explored their new city together.
Speaker 2: We were enjoying being on an ocean, like we are Midwesterners.
Speaker 2: We got an apartment that was walking distance to the beach.
Speaker 2: It was grand. We started to eat better. It was
Speaker 2: like we had just enough money to enjoy a few
Speaker 2: of the finer things.
Speaker 1: Gas Station hot dogs were replaced by fancier options.
Speaker 2: Lobster rolls on the beach. Yeah, it was just it
Speaker 2: was so cool.
Speaker 1: But that winter in Boston was bitter.
Speaker 2: It was like the snowpocalypse. And even Bostonians were telling me.
Speaker 2: They're like, no, Samantha, like this is not normal. We
Speaker 2: can now believe that this is your one year in Boston.
Speaker 1: Michael was working a retail job with Verizon. When the
Speaker 1: temperatures dropped below zero, he still had to go into work.
Speaker 1: Then one day he got sick.
Speaker 2: He caught pneumonia and was hot hospitalized.
Speaker 1: In the hospital, while they were treating Michael's pneumonia, the
Speaker 1: doctors noticed something even more alarming. Michael had heart failure, and.
Speaker 2: They were like, how has no one told you that
Speaker 2: you have heart failure before? Because this is pretty advanced.
Speaker 2: There's no way no one told you that you had
Speaker 2: major heart issues. And he was like, oh, someone may
Speaker 2: have said something, but it didn't seem a serious.
Speaker 1: Michael hadn't told Samantha anything about this. Even now, he
Speaker 1: was downplaying it, but the doctors were clear he needed
Speaker 1: to start treatment immediately after he caught pneumonia. Michael never
Speaker 1: fully recovered.
Speaker 2: It was a stark difference to go from walking around
Speaker 2: and enjoying the fall to pretty quickly having a significant disability.
Speaker 2: His heart couldn't keep up, so he'd run out of breath.
Speaker 1: Michael was forced to slow down. He'd kept his heart
Speaker 1: issues under wraps for years, but now they were impossible
Speaker 1: to ignore.
Speaker 2: He just became more sick, and that was the first
Speaker 2: time that I realized that his health would become a
Speaker 2: big part of our lives.
Speaker 1: After a year in Boston, Samantha's postdoc fellowship ended, she
Speaker 1: and Michael moved home to Indianapolis.
Speaker 2: I was able to secure a tenure track job with
Speaker 2: the University of Indianapolis.
Speaker 1: It was a dream job. She'd get to teach classes
Speaker 1: in psychology and technology. She would even run her own lab.
Speaker 2: My lab was about social technology and communication.
Speaker 1: But Michael's doctors were worried about the move.
Speaker 2: They were like, when you get out of our care,
Speaker 2: you absolutely need to take this seriously. When you get
Speaker 2: to Indiana, like, you have to immediately connect with a
Speaker 2: team of doctors.
Speaker 1: When they got settled back in Indiana, Michael's health got worse.
Speaker 1: He was living with advanced heart failure. It was a
Speaker 1: scary diagnosis.
Speaker 2: I think he was trying to put on a strong
Speaker 2: face for everyone else, but behind the curtain, he definitely
Speaker 2: couldn't hide it from me.
Speaker 1: Soon, even basic tasks like getting around the house became
Speaker 1: challenging for Michael.
Speaker 2: There were times I had to help him to the bathroom.
Speaker 2: The fluid on his legs was so great that sometimes
Speaker 2: he couldn't stand. I was like five to two and
Speaker 2: he was over three hundred pounds. I ended up hurting
Speaker 2: my own back trying to help him. It was very
Speaker 2: difficult to be a caregiver.
Speaker 1: It was a stressful time. Samantha had started working long
Speaker 1: hours as a professor. In her time off, she was
Speaker 1: caring for Michael.
Speaker 2: It almost made my love for him grow because I
Speaker 2: was worse read about his health and him not being around.
Speaker 1: It became clear that Michael was going to need a
Speaker 1: heart transplant, but planning for that procedure was a long
Speaker 1: and complicated process. They needed a more immediate treatment to
Speaker 1: keep him stable, so Michael's doctors started him on a
Speaker 1: medication that flowed through a twenty four hour IV.
Speaker 2: He wore a backpack and we hid the pump in
Speaker 2: his little backpack. It was to keep him comfortable, but
Speaker 2: it was so terrifying that, like you had to keep
Speaker 2: the batteries loaded so that this medicine would continuously flow.
Speaker 2: If it stopped, he could have died.
Speaker 1: It was terrifying, and their dreams for the future were
Speaker 1: put on pause.
Speaker 2: We're still relatively young. Going to the cardiollaist every two
Speaker 2: weeks wasn't on our to do list before. It was
Speaker 2: a mess. Trying to take care of his physical health
Speaker 2: and trying to get tenure. It was extremely stressful.
Speaker 1: Michael's doctors advised him not to work. Samantha was making
Speaker 1: enough money to cover their bills, and any strenuous physical
Speaker 1: effort was too much of a risk for his heart.
Speaker 1: But Michael did not take this advice well.
Speaker 2: He was not someone who enjoyed being told no or
Speaker 2: having things taken away. He's always been a competitive person.
Speaker 2: He was an athlete in his younger years. He's always
Speaker 2: considered himself healthy and able bodied.
Speaker 1: Against the advice of his doctors, he kept working.
Speaker 2: I was telling him, like, Michael, sit down, I can
Speaker 2: pay the bills. All you need to do is focus
Speaker 2: on your health. I was agreeing with them, doctors. I
Speaker 2: saw his condition. The evidence was very clear cut, and
Speaker 2: I was like, what if your medicine runs out, what
Speaker 2: if you have a stroke or something happens.
Speaker 1: Michael insisted that he felt fine.
Speaker 2: He was on a lot of prednizone, which I called
Speaker 2: the duct tape of medicine, just a general steroid that
Speaker 2: makes you feel great. That's how sick he was. But
Speaker 2: he didn't understand they're trying to keep me comfortable. He
Speaker 2: only understood I feel great.
Speaker 1: No matter what she said, Samantha could not get Michael
Speaker 1: to stop working. He said they needed the money.
Speaker 2: I couldn't understand why he was so money hungry.
Speaker 1: Michael's health made other aspects of their relationship more challenging.
Speaker 2: There was a difference in our level of physical intimacy
Speaker 2: that came along with some of the woes of being
Speaker 2: a heart failure patient.
Speaker 1: Things were hard. They were stressed about money, work, intimacy,
Speaker 1: and the future.
Speaker 2: Everything we were going through felt like the pamphlets you
Speaker 2: would read in the lobby at the cardiologist's office for
Speaker 2: families going through heart to transplant. He felt like financial stress,
Speaker 2: relationship stress, intimacy issues.
Speaker 1: All the while, Michael kept coming to her with ways
Speaker 1: to make more money. One day, he told her he'd
Speaker 1: found a lucrative business model, a trucking company.
Speaker 2: Bred box type trucks that just delivered clients' for big
Speaker 2: box stores like Low's Home Depot, stuff like that.
Speaker 1: He'd always wanted to be an entrepreneur. Samantha already knew
Speaker 1: she couldn't stop Michael from working, so if he'd found
Speaker 1: something he was excited about, she wouldn't stand in his way.
Speaker 2: In this weird time where I felt like he was
Speaker 2: losing himself a little bit, losing his identity, I did
Speaker 2: want him to be happy, and I wanted to support him.
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, I'll get on board because he's
Speaker 2: going to do it anyway.
Speaker 1: Michael enrolled in a training program to learn about the
Speaker 1: trucking industry. The trainings were extensive and took place in
Speaker 1: North Carolina.
Speaker 2: Beat anywhere from three days to a week, so he'd
Speaker 2: get a hotel and do the training and then come.
Speaker 1: Back whenever he was gone. Samantha worried about him, but
Speaker 1: at the time she was working a lot too.
Speaker 2: I was working as a tenure track professor, and it
Speaker 2: is so much work teaching a class for the first
Speaker 2: time and having to prepare the materials. I was at
Speaker 2: the office until one two in.
Speaker 1: The morning with all the travel and hotels attending these
Speaker 1: trainings became expensive, but Michael found a solution. He had
Speaker 1: a friend in the program who would let him stay
Speaker 1: at his house.
Speaker 2: I was like, that's very kind of them. Are you sure.
Speaker 1: Michael assured her that it was totally fine and that
Speaker 1: his friend was happy to host him. A few days later,
Speaker 1: he left again for North Carolina.
Speaker 2: One day, he sent me a text message to tell
Speaker 2: me that he was going to church, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: my goodness, you went to church. We haven't gone to
Speaker 2: church in a long time, but we both come from
Speaker 2: families that faith is really important.
Speaker 1: Michael texted her throughout the church service, telling her about
Speaker 1: the amazing singer he was watching. She happened to be
Speaker 1: performing one of his mom's favorite songs.
Speaker 2: His mom passed away when I was in grad school,
Speaker 2: and he was emotional because he was hearing his mother's
Speaker 2: favorite songs. I'm like, Oh, my gosh, that does sound amazing.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad you got to go.
Speaker 1: Samantha was touched by this update from Michael, and.
Speaker 2: He was so excited. He told me the name of
Speaker 2: the artist who was singing. He's like, oh, she seems
Speaker 2: so great. You got to hear her sing this song,
Speaker 2: so I'm thinking, Okay, I'll look it up later.
Speaker 1: When she had a free moment a few hours later,
Speaker 1: she decided to look up the singer Michael was raving about.
Speaker 2: I just googled the artist's name date and it came
Speaker 2: right up. Except the artist singing that day wasn't in
Speaker 2: North Carolina. The artist singing that day was in a
Speaker 2: church in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Speaker 1: Samantha stared at her screen.
Speaker 2: I immediately knew he was lying. I just didn't know why.
Speaker 1: She pulled up the church's Facebook page.
Speaker 2: It was a big enough church that they were recording
Speaker 2: their services, and by the time I got on the
Speaker 2: Facebook page, those services had already been uploaded to the website.
Speaker 1: She clicked on the recording of that morning service.
Speaker 2: This church records their services from the back of the church,
Speaker 2: so the entire congregation was visible. It was like the
Speaker 2: back of everyone's heads.
Speaker 1: Scanning the crowd. Her eyes landed on Michael.
Speaker 2: My heart sang when I saw him. He's big and tall,
Speaker 2: and he's in yellow right smackdeb in the middle of
Speaker 2: the spring. And then my heart sank again when I
Speaker 2: saw her.
Speaker 1: While Michael was on a work trip. He texted his wife,
Speaker 1: Samantha to tell her he was attending an incredible church service.
Speaker 1: But when Samantha looked up the church, her reality began
Speaker 1: to crack. Michael was lying about the state he was in.
Speaker 1: He said he was in North Carolina, but this church
Speaker 1: was in Tennessee. And when she watched the recording of
Speaker 1: the service, she saw him in the hughes with another woman.
Speaker 2: My heart sank when I saw him, and then it
Speaker 2: sank again when I saw her.
Speaker 1: The camera angle gave Samantha a clear view of them.
Speaker 1: She could see that they were holding hands.
Speaker 2: I glanced around the congregation. I'm like, wait, this is one
Speaker 2: of those times where everyone's supposed to be holding hands,
Speaker 2: Like why are we holding hands? Like is this you
Speaker 2: know we're gonna do a group prayer? Like what's going on?
Speaker 2: And it was quickly, just the next second I realized, Nope,
Speaker 2: no one else is holding hands. They are clearly together, coupled.
Speaker 2: There was a time on the footage that they kissed,
Speaker 2: and I don't know if my heart could possibly sink
Speaker 2: one more stage. But he was with a family.
Speaker 1: Sitting next to Michael was a young boy, and next
Speaker 1: to him an older woman.
Speaker 2: He has a whole other family in this.
Speaker 1: They were all clearly together. Samantha watched in horror.
Speaker 2: There are times where I can see him texting, and
Speaker 2: I realized he's texting me.
Speaker 1: Michael clearly had no idea the church service was being recorded,
Speaker 1: or that by telling her the singer's name, he had
Speaker 1: told on himself.
Speaker 2: He was that confident and that comfortable and not concerned
Speaker 2: at all. He's like, I can just lie in this
Speaker 2: woman's face. She'll never know.
Speaker 1: But now Samantha knew.
Speaker 2: After I found out what he was doing and I
Speaker 2: saw the video, I went on a quiet rampage.
Speaker 1: Samantha and Michael had been married for over ten years.
Speaker 1: She knew all of his passwords. She'd never had any
Speaker 1: reason to snoop.
Speaker 2: Now I went home that night and I started opening
Speaker 2: all the mail I could find, open up old computers.
Speaker 2: I've powered up all his old cell phones.
Speaker 1: She held her breath, afraid she would find more evidence
Speaker 1: of this affair. But as soon as she powered on
Speaker 1: his old devices, she was met with a tidal wave
Speaker 1: of information. So many emails and texts from multiple women
Speaker 1: she'd never met. This wasn't an isolated affair. This was
Speaker 1: his way of life. She began going through his text messages.
Speaker 1: In some cases, Michael was paying women for.
Speaker 2: Sex transactional to type relationships.
Speaker 1: Others were serious emotional connections.
Speaker 2: Some of these people they had long term relationships. They
Speaker 2: had anniversary text messages. There is one woman who I
Speaker 2: think it was like seven years.
Speaker 1: Samantha went further and further back in his text and emails.
Speaker 1: Michael had been cheating on her for almost their entire marriage.
Speaker 1: When she counted up all the evidence she could find,
Speaker 1: she had proof of at least fifteen different affairs.
Speaker 2: This is years and years and years of affairs that
Speaker 2: I have found. So many women, so many lies. And
Speaker 2: these are people who know he's married, right, some women
Speaker 2: who would talk about me. To see your husband having
Speaker 2: a sexual communication with someone and then that person says,
Speaker 2: you better save some of that for your wife. You
Speaker 2: guys are trying to have a baby.
Speaker 1: That sentence stopped Samantha in her tracks. She had been
Speaker 1: trying to get pregnant for a while, but it had
Speaker 1: been a difficult road. Seeing someone joke about it made
Speaker 1: her sick. She kept reading, and she noticed something.
Speaker 2: His tone was different with different women.
Speaker 1: One of the women he was having an affair with
Speaker 1: worked at a prestigious hospital with her. He texted in
Speaker 1: full sentences and made grand gestures.
Speaker 2: He had a beautiful set of flowers delivered to Beth
Speaker 2: Israel Hospital in Boston.
Speaker 1: With other women. He was way more casual.
Speaker 2: The language he used, their abbreviations, Oh, the slang he
Speaker 2: would use. It almost looked like a teenager texting. I
Speaker 2: was like, my goodness, how does he manage these? He
Speaker 2: was like a little social chameleon.
Speaker 1: The messages were painful to read, but she couldn't stop.
Speaker 2: It's like not being able to look away from her
Speaker 2: car accident. I couldn't look away. I couldn't put it down.
Speaker 2: It was dizzying, disorienting. The rug had been pulled from
Speaker 2: underneath me.
Speaker 1: She felt like she needed to get to the bottom
Speaker 1: of everything. Next, she started going through his finances.
Speaker 2: Almost everything I opened had some sort of damning piece
Speaker 2: of evidence on it. It was a credit card in
Speaker 2: my name, Another credit card in my name. This one
Speaker 2: has a dinner date on it. This one has a
Speaker 2: concert in Pennsylvania on it.
Speaker 1: It was becoming clear that Michael's work trips were not
Speaker 1: what they seemed. He'd been traveling to meet women and
Speaker 1: racking up debt in Samantha's name while he was there.
Speaker 1: Samantha was stunned. She had always trusted Michael to handle
Speaker 1: their bills.
Speaker 2: But that's a bad thing when your partner's cheating on you,
Speaker 2: because then you don't look at the bills and you
Speaker 2: don't look at what's right in front of your face.
Speaker 1: Suddenly, Michael's desire to keep working and keep making money
Speaker 1: even when he was so sick, started to make sense.
Speaker 2: That is very expensive to cheat.
Speaker 1: She sat on her bed, bills at old cell phones
Speaker 1: piling up around her.
Speaker 2: It was hard to say like, Okay, this is the
Speaker 2: point that I should stop looking and go to sleep.
Speaker 2: I've got two more phones here that I haven't even
Speaker 2: powered up yet. I've got more emails to look through.
Speaker 2: When do I put this aside or say like, okay,
Speaker 2: now I have enough.
Speaker 1: In the span of a few hours, everything she thought
Speaker 1: she knew about her husband had been turned on its head.
Speaker 1: So if Michael wasn't who she thought, who was he?
Speaker 2: I was getting to know this person that I didn't know,
Speaker 2: and I wanted to know him.
Speaker 1: Michael was still in Knoxville. Samantha kept texting him like
Speaker 1: everything was normal.
Speaker 2: I didn't want him to know what I knew. I
Speaker 2: wanted to be stealthy.
Speaker 1: Before she made any decisions. She wanted all the information.
Speaker 1: She spent a few days reading everything, all the emails
Speaker 1: and all the texts, catching up on the plot of
Speaker 1: the lives. She had no idea her husband was living.
Speaker 2: I would go to sleep with a phone in my hand,
Speaker 2: my laptop roll was on my bed. It was almost
Speaker 2: like reading a novel, but this was my real life.
Speaker 1: Finally, she had read all she could read, but still
Speaker 1: it didn't feel real.
Speaker 2: In that moment. I was still lost. I kind of
Speaker 2: wanted an identity confirmation. This is reality, Like I want
Speaker 2: to see his physical body, not through a screen. I
Speaker 2: wanted it to be tangible.
Speaker 1: So she decided it was time to take a trip.
Speaker 1: Michael had taken her car, so she booked a rental.
Speaker 2: And I drove to Knoxville. I had no idea if
Speaker 2: I was going to confront him. I had four and
Speaker 2: a half five hours to figure out that out driving.
Speaker 1: When she got to Knoxville, she checked into a hotel. Next,
Speaker 1: she needed a disguise.
Speaker 2: I put on a wig, a hat, and sunglasses because
Speaker 2: I was on this secretive mission.
Speaker 1: She set out to find Michael, and it was surprisingly simple.
Speaker 1: Some of the details he told her were true. He
Speaker 1: really was working for a trucking company. When she drove
Speaker 1: to the company's address, she found him parked there.
Speaker 2: From there, I started trailing him.
Speaker 1: Samantha followed Michael as he drove through the neighborhoods of Knoxville.
Speaker 2: I was so worried that he wouldn't notice that he
Speaker 2: was being trailed.
Speaker 1: But he didn't. He drove through Knoxville like he had
Speaker 1: nothing to hide. He picked up the woman Samantha had
Speaker 1: seen in the church video, and together they drove to
Speaker 1: a dog park.
Speaker 2: I'm like, how long have they been together? They have
Speaker 2: a dog together? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: Samantha parked up on a hill overlooking the dog park.
Speaker 2: I was looking at him. I could see him cheating.
Speaker 2: They were holding hands walking the dog.
Speaker 1: She took out her phone and started recording.
Speaker 2: I have video footage of them walking around this park
Speaker 2: holding hands, kissing. To me, it was like, if there's
Speaker 2: an open and shutcase, this is it.
Speaker 1: Michael was strolling through the dog park holding another woman's hand,
Speaker 1: like everything about that was normal, Like this was his
Speaker 1: only universe, his only life.
Speaker 2: And I started recording myself talking through everything that I
Speaker 2: had been through, how I had gotten there. I don't
Speaker 2: know why I did it. Maybe it's a psychologist in't me.
Speaker 2: It was almost like a trama narrative, like talking to
Speaker 2: a friend through a difficult problem. So I'm sitting here
Speaker 2: narrating everything. It kept me calm.
Speaker 1: After the dog park, they went to a pancake house.
Speaker 1: Samantha followed them there, Then they went to the grocery store.
Speaker 1: After that, she gave up on following them. She had
Speaker 1: seen all she needed to. She sat in her parked
Speaker 1: car staring straight ahead.
Speaker 2: This is a normal life. And that almost made it
Speaker 2: more confusing to me, because I'm like, there's nothing sexy
Speaker 2: about this. This isn't the classic sort of popular media
Speaker 2: representation of an affair where it's like, Okay, I'm going
Speaker 2: to check into the hotel, flipping my room car and
Speaker 2: I'll be ready for you type of affair, or looking
Speaker 2: into each other's eyes talking about our feelings and there's
Speaker 2: like a candlelit dinner. That's not how I found my husband.
Speaker 2: I found my husband picking up poop after a dog
Speaker 2: at a park. This isn't fun. You're just having a
Speaker 2: boring life with another family. This is a painful affair.
Speaker 1: When she woke up in her hotel room the next day,
Speaker 1: Michael texted her good morning, as he always did.
Speaker 2: He never stopped texting me. Here's my husband. Ate still
Speaker 2: send me good morning text messages.
Speaker 1: She still hadn't told Michael that she knew about the
Speaker 1: fifteen women, the years of lies, his double life. She
Speaker 1: didn't tell him anything. It was his turn to be
Speaker 1: left in the dark. It was a beautiful day in Knoxville,
Speaker 1: and Samantha was going to church, one church in particular.
Speaker 1: She heard there was a great singer there.
Speaker 2: Brought my bible, brought my Sunday clothes right. I had
Speaker 2: a big cat on. This is church in south He
Speaker 2: didn't want me to know what he's doing. Now he
Speaker 2: doesn't get to know what I'm doing. I think that
Speaker 2: was a big part of why I stayed away, to
Speaker 2: regain some kind of control or some kind of power.
Speaker 1: She prepared to confront Michael if he was there that Sunday,
Speaker 1: but he wasn't. After she left church, she took herself
Speaker 1: on a little drive around Knoxville.
Speaker 2: I did a tour of my husband's cheating by the
Speaker 2: stuff that I had found. I drove around to the
Speaker 2: places that I saw on my credit card receipt. I
Speaker 2: didn't go inside to eat, but I drove and I'm like, yep,
Speaker 2: there's that restaurant.
Speaker 1: When she'd seen enough, she went home to Indianapolis. Michael
Speaker 1: texted her and said that he needed to extend his
Speaker 1: work trip for a few more days. She replied she
Speaker 1: wanted her car back, and he's.
Speaker 2: Like, well, you know, I'm down here doing the work thing.
Speaker 2: I said, I don't care. I want my car back.
Speaker 2: That was the only inkling I gave him that I
Speaker 2: was upset about something, and he was upset because he
Speaker 2: couldn't figure out, like, why is this a big deal.
Speaker 1: Michael made the drive back to Indianapolis to return her car,
Speaker 1: but Samantha wasn't ready to face him.
Speaker 2: He still didn't know that I knew anything. I wasn't
Speaker 2: ready yet. I was so afraid of interacting with him
Speaker 2: because we've been married for so long, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: if he sees me, he's going to know.
Speaker 1: So she got a hotel room for the night and
Speaker 1: told Michael she was staying at her dad's place. He
Speaker 1: went to their house and dropped off her car. Then
Speaker 1: he went back to Knoxville. She was keeping a close
Speaker 1: eye on her finances now, and to her horror, she
Speaker 1: saw that he tried to take out another credit card
Speaker 1: in her name.
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, well, I need to hurry up
Speaker 2: because I don't want him doing any more damage.
Speaker 1: She decided to go to the police to file an
Speaker 1: identity claim against Michael, but the fact that they were
Speaker 1: married made things complicated.
Speaker 2: The police were like, just divorce this guy, that's all
Speaker 2: you should do.
Speaker 1: Well, Michael was still in Knoxville. Samantha decided to move
Speaker 1: out of their house. The university she worked for had
Speaker 1: housing available for her to move.
Speaker 2: Into, so I packed up everything. It was a quick pack,
Speaker 2: didn't sort of anything. I've moved under like the cover
Speaker 2: of night.
Speaker 1: Basically, she told the people closest to her, including Michael's family,
Speaker 1: that she was planning to file for divorce, and.
Speaker 2: That's how he found out that I knew. He found
Speaker 2: out that I was divorcing him from his own family.
Speaker 1: But Michael didn't know what exactly Samantha knew. He just
Speaker 1: knew that all of a sudden she wanted to end
Speaker 1: their marriage. He called her, trying to figure out what
Speaker 1: was going on. Samantha told him she knew about the
Speaker 1: woman in Tennessee.
Speaker 2: I was like, are you kidding me? We were trying to
Speaker 2: have a kid, and you're down here cheating.
Speaker 1: Michael denied everything.
Speaker 2: He never really admitted to anything. He's like, I'm down
Speaker 2: here for our family. I'm down here for you. I
Speaker 2: know things are bad now, but I'm almost done with
Speaker 2: the word thing. It didn't even sound like we were
Speaker 2: talking about cheating. His narrative was like, well, whatever you found,
Speaker 2: the truth is that I still love you, and I'm
Speaker 2: down here trying to strengthen our family, and that as
Speaker 2: soon as I get back and I don't have to
Speaker 2: come down here for work anymore, we'll get back right
Speaker 2: how things used to be.
Speaker 1: Michael couldn't even admit to this one affair, let alone
Speaker 1: the fourteen others. Samantha knew it was pointless to argue further.
Speaker 1: Their marriage was over.
Speaker 2: I have no desire to do any kind of reconnection.
Speaker 2: I have no desire to do any kind of work
Speaker 2: to try to estalvash the relationship. I don't I don't
Speaker 2: even want to waste my breath.
Speaker 1: When Michael finally came back to Indianapolis. He went to
Speaker 1: their house, expecting Samantha to be there.
Speaker 2: He put his key in the door, and because I
Speaker 2: hadn't moved houses, his key didn't work.
Speaker 1: He called Samantha in a panic.
Speaker 2: He was like, what you do with all my stuff?
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, who you got caught cheating
Speaker 2: with is who you can stay with.
Speaker 1: After that, Samantha filed for divorce. Michael was faced with
Speaker 1: the sobering realization Samantha was walking away. Now he was
Speaker 1: the one left desperate for answers. Michael started showing up
Speaker 1: at Samantha's job and.
Speaker 2: He was leaving notes on my car. And I contacted
Speaker 2: him and I said, I'm officially putting you on notice
Speaker 2: that I do not want you coming to my job.
Speaker 2: Do not leave notes on my car. If you have
Speaker 2: any correspondents, do it through my attorney. And I remember
Speaker 2: he was just like, why are you being so cold.
Speaker 1: Samantha began setting up an independent life for herself. Not
Speaker 1: only did Michael's betrayal take an emotional toll, there was
Speaker 1: a huge financial toll to the credit cards he took
Speaker 1: out in her name, severely impacted her credit.
Speaker 2: I started protecting myself, locking my credit report, getting my
Speaker 2: own health insurance. I was taking my life back, taking
Speaker 2: my control back, and still in pain, but still putting
Speaker 2: one foot in front of the other. I'm just like, Okay,
Speaker 2: finally it's going to be some time, but maybe I
Speaker 2: can breathe because I've just been through the wringer.
Speaker 1: One day, when she was at.
Speaker 2: Work after I got my own health insurance, I was
Speaker 2: logging into my account. I was in therapy at the time,
Speaker 2: and I wanted to make sure that the insurance was
Speaker 2: filing things correctly and whatnot.
Speaker 1: When she logged into her health insurance portal, she noticed
Speaker 1: a new claim had been added to her account.
Speaker 2: I didn't know what it was for because I wasn't
Speaker 2: really going to the doctor, and especially for that month,
Speaker 2: it should have just been just my therapist on there.
Speaker 1: She clicked on the claim and started reading.
Speaker 2: It didn't dawn on me that the date of birth
Speaker 2: was on there and it wasn't my date of birth.
Speaker 2: It didn't dawn on me that the city that the
Speaker 2: claim was in was Knoxville, Tennessee. It didn't dawn on
Speaker 2: me that it was a pediatrician that was the provider
Speaker 2: and It didn't dawn on me that the last name
Speaker 2: of the patient was the last name of my husband.
Speaker 1: The only thing Samantha saw was the name in the
Speaker 1: middle of the.
Speaker 2: Screen, Ellington he had a baby with this woman, and
Speaker 2: he took the name that I was going to give
Speaker 2: my daughter if I ever had a little girl.
Speaker 1: That was their baby name one day dreamed of together.
Speaker 1: This cut so deep. Something in her snaped.
Speaker 2: I was crying, wailing, sobbing. I didn't think that he
Speaker 2: could take anything else from me, but I was wrong.
Speaker 2: That was the last thing that he could do to me,
Speaker 2: and he did.
Speaker 1: A few weeks later, Michael called her. She usually ignored
Speaker 1: his calls, but this time she picked up.
Speaker 2: I was just screaming at the top of my lungs.
Speaker 2: I don't even think I was making sense. I lowered
Speaker 2: my tone and I said, did you have a baby
Speaker 2: with this woman?
Speaker 1: Michael played dumb.
Speaker 2: He was just like, what are you talking about? And
Speaker 2: I was like, I know already that you had a
Speaker 2: baby with this woman.
Speaker 1: Samantha held her breath waiting for Michael's response, but all
Speaker 1: he said was, I.
Speaker 2: Mean, so we're getting divorced, like whatever.
Speaker 1: His nonchalance was stunning.
Speaker 2: I was like, this is the one thing that you
Speaker 2: can't deny, Like, there is a life, there's a person
Speaker 2: that you have created. Surely that will be the one
Speaker 2: thing that you can see that I would fall apart over.
Speaker 2: I thought he was actually gonna see how that would
Speaker 2: be painful, and yeah, he just he did not. It
Speaker 2: took years for us to get divorced. He refused to
Speaker 2: sign any of the papers. He would dodge phone calls, emails, subpoenas.
Speaker 2: I mean, it was a mess.
Speaker 1: But eventually their divorce was finalized. Michael and Samantha stopped
Speaker 1: being in regular communication, but occasionally he or his family
Speaker 1: reached out with updates on his health. That was how
Speaker 1: she learned Michael's health was declining rapidly. He needed a
Speaker 1: new heart.
Speaker 2: He was on the heart transplant list. He was approved
Speaker 2: and was waiting for a heart, but he was so
Speaker 2: ill that he could not go home.
Speaker 1: Michael was living in the hospital waiting for an appropriate match.
Speaker 1: His family updated Samantha when he finally made it off
Speaker 1: the list. They told her he was going into surgery.
Speaker 2: He never woke up from that surgery. He died the
Speaker 2: next day. I began to weep.
Speaker 1: Despite everything, she went to Michael's funeral.
Speaker 2: I had the pictures that they could use. I had
Speaker 2: the information for the obituary. I was the wife. I
Speaker 2: was grieving the husband that I thought I had, The
Speaker 2: person that I thought I was married to, was who
Speaker 2: I was grieving.
Speaker 1: Samantha navigated complicated layers of grief. One of the hardest
Speaker 1: parts was grieving the opportunity to be a mother. She
Speaker 1: had to change her long term plans.
Speaker 2: I did get tenure, so that was very exciting. I
Speaker 2: bought my own car. I worked really hard to get
Speaker 2: my credit restored, and that took time, and that damage
Speaker 2: went on for years. I recently bought a house. I
Speaker 2: was like, wow, yeah, I did that on my own.
Speaker 2: I think for me it also marks having my life restored.
Speaker 1: She hasn't tried to erase Michael from her story.
Speaker 2: It's easier for me to conceptualize it as grief. I
Speaker 2: lost one of the most meaningful relationships that I thought
Speaker 2: that I'd have for the rest of my life. I
Speaker 2: do not discount everything that happened in my marriage. I
Speaker 2: think I've learned that it's more like a both and
Speaker 2: instead of an either or or. He did these things,
Speaker 2: and I had times of joy and happiness in this marriage.
Speaker 1: There's no guide for situations like this one.
Speaker 2: I definitely just learned that I have far more room
Speaker 2: for growth and expansion and self care and self love.
Speaker 2: Then I thought that I did wisdom. I think that
Speaker 2: has come from the situation.
Speaker 1: We end every weekly episode with the same question, why
Speaker 1: do you want to share your story?
Speaker 2: I've always believed that there's power and narrative and power
Speaker 2: and processing, but I have learned that there is actually
Speaker 2: power in sharing outwardly. Shame is one of the most
Speaker 2: difficult emotions to work through when it sinks in. It's
Speaker 2: so pervasive, it's in every deep dark corner of our minds.
Speaker 2: In not hiding, it's the perfect way to work against shame.
Speaker 1: On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly, I.
Speaker 3: Really started to see this pattern that she had been
Speaker 3: using for years. It was almost like this chess game
Speaker 3: and it was checkmate, and she didn't really care that
Speaker 3: we figured it out. We were just chess pieces to her.
Speaker 1: If you'd like to share your story on Betrayal, please
Speaker 1: email Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. That is Betrayal
Speaker 1: Pod at gmail dot com. Please note that we are
Speaker 1: not a mental health organization. If you are in crisis
Speaker 1: or currently experiencing domestic violence, we encourage you to seek
Speaker 1: local help or dial nine to one one. Please contact
Speaker 1: organizations that offer immediate support. In our show notes, we've
Speaker 1: included a list of US based resources. You can follow
Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Betrayal pod or find me at
Speaker 1: It's Andrea Gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content,
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Speaker 1: thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a
Speaker 1: production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group
Speaker 1: and partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced
Speaker 1: by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted and produced by
Speaker 1: me Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Olivia Hewitt. Our
Speaker 1: story editor is Monique, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our
Speaker 1: associate producer is Leah Jablow. Production management by Kristin Melcurie
Speaker 1: Booking support by Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Ali
Speaker 1: Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Audio editing by Tanner Robbins, with
Speaker 1: additional editing and mixing by Matt Albecchio. Betrayals theme composed
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