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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARBFM

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Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be

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Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're

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Speaker 1: going to read this one right here, right now, all right,

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Speaker 1: right now.

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Speaker 2: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 2: it you here. It is Strawberry Letter. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: A few subjects. I'm submissive, but is he worth it?

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been married for three years and

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Speaker 1: he cheated before our wedding. We met online in an

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Speaker 1: online chat room, and he said I had all of

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Speaker 1: the values that he desired in a wife.

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Speaker 3: He quoted some scripture and I was hooked.

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Speaker 1: He'd been married before, and he said his biggest problem

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Speaker 1: was that his wife was not submissive. He said she

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Speaker 1: was stubborn and argumentative. I was forty eight when we

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Speaker 1: got married, and it was my first marriage, so I

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Speaker 1: aimed to please him and do everything just like he

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Speaker 1: asked me to. I let him run his house and mine,

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Speaker 1: and I was the ideal girlfriend because I never stressed

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Speaker 1: him out by questioning him. He came to see me

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Speaker 1: have sex and then leave. I did not say a word,

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Speaker 1: because for the most part, he's a good man. I

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Speaker 1: would listen to him bragging to his friends about how

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Speaker 1: lucky he was to have me.

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Speaker 3: Then he cheated. Excuse me, I try to hold it. Sorry.

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Speaker 1: Then he cheated, and he couldn't lie about it because

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Speaker 1: his shirt was dirty and he smelled like a woman.

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Speaker 1: He told me that it was the alcohol, and he

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Speaker 1: said he'd never drink hard liquor again, but he lied.

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Speaker 1: His affair happened just two months before our wedding. He

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Speaker 1: got drunk on our wedding night and told his parents

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Speaker 1: that he hoped he didn't make a big mistake that

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Speaker 1: rocked my soul. Because all I've done from the beginning

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Speaker 1: is cater to him and make sure all of his

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Speaker 1: needs were met. I should have left before I made

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Speaker 1: any bows to him. Now, when I try to spoil him,

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Speaker 1: he tells me to leave him alone. He picks fights

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Speaker 1: so he can sleep on the couch. I haven't slept

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Speaker 1: in the bed with my husband in three weeks. I

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Speaker 1: vowed to stay for better or worse, but we've hit

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Speaker 1: rock bottom. Is he worthy of a good submissive wife

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Speaker 1: like me, or should I change my ways and start

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Speaker 1: acting like his equal and see what happens?

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Speaker 3: Please advise, what are you doing? Really? What is going

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Speaker 3: on in this relationship period? I mean you.

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Speaker 1: Said he came to see you to have sex and

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Speaker 1: then leave right there. You should have known that something

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Speaker 1: was wrong. That was the first red flag, and you

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Speaker 1: let it happen. That should never have been okay with you.

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Speaker 1: You waited a long time to get married, and this

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Speaker 1: is what you end up with, this control freak, this dictator.

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Speaker 1: You allowed him to treat you any kind of way.

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Speaker 1: You put your needs and your wants on the back

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Speaker 1: burner to submit to him. For what because he quoted

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Speaker 1: a couple of scriptures to you in the beginning, Because

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Speaker 1: you said after he quoted those scriptures, you were hooked.

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Speaker 1: You thought that that would make him a good husband. Really,

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Speaker 1: anyone can quote a scripture and that's certainly no reason

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Speaker 1: to marry that person. You see now, anyway, I hope

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Speaker 1: you see now that all that catering to him was

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Speaker 1: just stupid on your part.

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Speaker 3: You're his wife, you're not his child, you're not his servant.

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Speaker 1: He got everything from you, and what did you get

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Speaker 1: in return, you didn't get anything. I just think this

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Speaker 1: is wrong. You should have you shouldn't have to walk

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Speaker 1: on eggshells in your own marriage. You don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do now. None of this has worked out for you.

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Speaker 1: Now you're miserable, you're unhappy. You're writing a strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: You know marriage is about or I hope you should

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Speaker 1: know that marriage is about compromise and love, commitment, among

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Speaker 1: other things. Your marriage doesn't have any of that because

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Speaker 1: it's all about him. You're in this one sided situation

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Speaker 1: with a man who doesn't love you. He doesn't respect you.

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Speaker 1: He told his parents on his wedding night. Maybe he

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Speaker 1: hopes he didn't make a mistake. You know, now you're

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Speaker 1: sleeping on the couch. He's sleeping on the couch, and

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Speaker 1: he's picking fights with you. He doesn't want to be

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Speaker 1: with you at all. You know, I think Steve said

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Speaker 1: this last week or earlier. Yeah, last week, he doesn't

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Speaker 1: like you. He was talking about another situation. But it

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Speaker 1: doesn't sound like this man likes you at all. I

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Speaker 1: think you've wasted enough time trying to please this man.

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Speaker 1: He's ungrateful. I think you now should focus on yourself

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Speaker 1: because you deserve way better than him.

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Speaker 4: Steve, the subject of this letter is I'm submissive, but

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Speaker 4: is he worth it?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 4: I'm not a professional on submissive wives.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what that is, and I'm not an

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Speaker 2: expert on.

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Speaker 4: How that part of it should go, because you're trying

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Speaker 4: to throw some scriptures in there that you heard him say.

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Speaker 4: But let me just walk you through all the mistakes.

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Speaker 4: I've been married for three years and he cheated before

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Speaker 4: our wedding. Now this was two months before to wed Now,

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Speaker 4: I've learned from several people. One time I was in

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Speaker 4: counseling and he said, the thing about marriage is the

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Speaker 4: only thing that changes the person after the wedding is

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Speaker 4: the appearance of his left hand third finger. If he

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Speaker 4: has a behavior pattern that he does and you think

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Speaker 4: marriage will change it, it won't. We met online chatwo

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Speaker 4: and he said I had all the values he desired

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Speaker 4: in a way. He quoted some scriptures and I was hooked.

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Speaker 4: He was married before, and his biggest problem here was

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Speaker 4: to set up y'all. His biggest problem was that his

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Speaker 4: wife was not submissive. He says she was stubborn, an argumentative.

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Speaker 4: I was twenty eight when we got married. It was

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Speaker 4: my first marriage, so I aim to please men, do

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Speaker 4: everything just like he asked me to. You were set

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Speaker 4: up to do this because he told you what happened

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Speaker 4: to his first marriage was she was not submissive. She

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Speaker 4: was argumentative and stubborn. So you proceeded to be the

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Speaker 4: direct opposite of what she was to please him. Thus

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Speaker 4: we began the downfall of this letter. I would explain

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Speaker 4: it to you mar when we come back, because I

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Speaker 4: know this one inside out.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, all right, Steve, hang on, we'll have part

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Speaker 1: two of your response coming up to today's Strawberry letter,

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Speaker 1: the subjects I'm submissive, but if he worth it. We'll

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Speaker 1: be back right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 5: or your money back.

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Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter, the subject

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Speaker 1: I'm submissive but is he worth it?

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Speaker 4: Well, you're gonna find out very quickly that he's not,

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Speaker 4: and you're also gonna find out something about this thing

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Speaker 4: you keep calling submissive. You met this man online chat ROOUM,

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Speaker 4: y'all got married. He cheated two months before the marriage. Ah,

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Speaker 4: you found out about it anyway. You don't say all

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Speaker 4: that yet, but you say he had been married and

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Speaker 4: his biggest problem with his wife was not submissive. So

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Speaker 4: he told you this to set you up. So the

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Speaker 4: setup was she was not submissive. She was stubborn and argumentative.

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Speaker 4: So you, realizing this and he knows what he's doing,

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Speaker 4: you began to act the direct opposite because he didn't

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Speaker 4: want to run up into no more non submissive women.

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Speaker 4: He didn't want to run up into somebody talking back

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Speaker 4: to him. He just didn't want that, So he told

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Speaker 4: you that's what he ran. Now, So you said you

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Speaker 4: had never been married before, so you aim to please

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Speaker 4: him and do everything just like he asked you to.

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Speaker 2: I let him run his house and mine.

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Speaker 4: I was an ideal girlfriend because I never stressed him

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Speaker 4: out by questioning him, which means you had some questions,

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Speaker 4: but you allowed yourself not to question him because you

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Speaker 4: didn't want to appear stubborn, argumentive, or non submissive. Well,

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Speaker 4: now he as you right where he needs you. He

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Speaker 4: came to see you have sex and then leave. You

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Speaker 4: didn't question that because you didn't want to be You

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Speaker 4: wanted to be submissive, you didn't want to be stubborn,

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Speaker 4: and you didn't want to be argumentive. So now he

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Speaker 4: can come over hair sex with you, and leave. I

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Speaker 4: didn't say a word because for the most part he's

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Speaker 4: a good man. I would listening bragging to his friends

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Speaker 4: about how lucky was to have me. Oh, he can't

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Speaker 4: believe I got this chick right here, and I can

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Speaker 4: do like I want to, and she let me do

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Speaker 4: it cause you're submissive, you're not argumentative, and you're not stubborn.

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Speaker 4: Then he cheated and he couldn't lie about it because

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Speaker 4: his shirt was dirty and he smelled like a woman.

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Speaker 4: And that's the only part I have to interject myself

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Speaker 4: into this. Right here, he cheated and he couldn't lie

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Speaker 4: about it.

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Speaker 2: What did that mean? What you mean he couldn't lie

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Speaker 2: about it? How the hair he couldn't. I don't give

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Speaker 2: it what I smell like, and what's on that shirt?

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Speaker 3: You would still lie.

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Speaker 2: She could have wrote.

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Speaker 4: Her sail number on that shirt with glitter mass square

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Speaker 4: on it, and I smelled just like she nail number five?

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Speaker 2: A lie? Hell yeah, hell yeah. So I'm confuting.

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Speaker 4: Remember he told me that it was an alcohol and

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Speaker 4: he said he never drink hard nook Again, he lied.

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Speaker 4: His affair just happened two months before I went, and

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Speaker 4: he got drunk on our wedding night, and he told

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Speaker 4: his parents that he hopes that he didn't make a

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Speaker 4: big mistake that rocked my soul. Because all I've done

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Speaker 4: from the beginning is catered to him and make sure

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Speaker 4: all his needs were met. Here's the biggest mistake you made.

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Speaker 4: You made sure all of his knees was met. What

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Speaker 4: about your What about your Not one place in this

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Speaker 4: le has this man done anything to you except brag

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Speaker 4: to his friends how lucky he was. I should have

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Speaker 4: left before I made the vows to him. Now, when

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Speaker 4: I try to spoil him, he tells me to leave

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Speaker 4: him alone. He picks fights so he can sleep on

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Speaker 4: the couch. I haven't slept in the bed with my

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Speaker 4: husband in three weeks. I vowed to stay for better

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Speaker 4: or for worse. You vowed to stay for better or

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Speaker 4: for worse.

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Speaker 2: He did, he didn't. You are submissive, he ain't.

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Speaker 4: He starts argumented argument, You're not augmented he is.

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Speaker 2: You're not stubborn. He is.

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Speaker 4: See, you became everything he wanted, but you didn't require

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Speaker 4: him to be nothing you wanted? Right, and so now

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Speaker 4: you left holding the bag. But we've hit rock bottom?

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Speaker 4: Is he worth a good submissive wife like me? Or

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Speaker 4: should I change my ways and start acting like his equal?

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Speaker 2: What where did you come from?

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Speaker 4: Who are you? Should I start acting like his equal?

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Speaker 4: And see what happened?

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Speaker 2: What is she doing?

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Speaker 4: I got a little green eyed equal right now? Won't

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Speaker 4: shut up when I ask? Okay, nothing I ask cut to.

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Speaker 4: It's a comissive to nothing I tell her to do

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Speaker 4: unless she agree with him. I don't know what you have.

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Speaker 4: I'm so he's so fortunate. But see, listen to me.

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Speaker 4: Here's your problem, sister. I got a great marriage, I

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Speaker 4: got a great wife.

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Speaker 2: Were partners.

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Speaker 4: Submissive doesn't mean to any and everything. That's where you

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Speaker 4: got off the boat wrong at something. Smissive does not

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Speaker 4: mean you have to be submissive to abuse, you have

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Speaker 4: to be submissive to loneliness, you have to be submissive

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Speaker 4: to inequality, and you have to be submissive to doubt.

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Speaker 1: You can post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM, on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.