Speaker 1: What's crazy about this? This highly controversial right A lot
Speaker 1: of people listening right now are about to really disagree
Speaker 1: with me. What's crazy about your email? About desperately needing
Speaker 1: to know how to pour into yourself and how to
Speaker 1: feel like you are enough for yourself. In the essence
Speaker 1: all of this, I'll say this as lightly and as
Speaker 1: lovingly as I can to you, all of this is
Speaker 1: an obsession with yourself. What's up? Everybody? Welcome to the podcast,
Speaker 1: Episode one seventy two. Thanks for watching and listening. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be fun. One got your questions lined up. If
Speaker 1: you want to ask me anything, email Granger Smith Podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. I'll answer it. We'll put it
Speaker 1: in the queue. My only thing is don't send the
Speaker 1: same email twice and don't make it too long. It
Speaker 1: makes it harder for me to read the entire question.
Speaker 1: And I don't have notes, I don't have anything prepared.
Speaker 1: I just go off of what these emails say. What
Speaker 1: the latest one in the queue is. I also host
Speaker 1: a radio show called After Midnight, and it's on every
Speaker 1: Country music iHeart station FM station in America. So and
Speaker 1: it runs from midnight to some stations five am. Some
Speaker 1: stations six am. What's crazy is how this podcast has
Speaker 1: started integrating into that radio show, and we've been speaking
Speaker 1: about these questions, sometimes right off of your questions on
Speaker 1: after Midnight, and then it spurs these great conversations that
Speaker 1: I get to have on the radio with people working
Speaker 1: the third shift, meaning to people the Amazon's stockers, the
Speaker 1: grocery store stockers, the newspaper deliverers, the the truck drivers,
Speaker 1: the all night workers, security ems, hospitals, police, it's been
Speaker 1: really inspirational to hear their stories and to read your
Speaker 1: questions on there. So some of y'all are the same
Speaker 1: people and some of y'all are completely different, but either way,
Speaker 1: it's been a blessing to have after midnight and to
Speaker 1: see it start to look more and more like this
Speaker 1: podcast for people that might need to hear it in
Speaker 1: the middle of the night. Let's get to the first
Speaker 1: one here again. If you have a question for me,
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. The first one
Speaker 1: in the queue, subject line says having the no sex
Speaker 1: with a guy I am seeing. That's what the subject
Speaker 1: line says exactly. The email says, Hey, grangoud like to
Speaker 1: remain anonymous. I'm twenty six years old from Colorado. Recently
Speaker 1: started dating an X from college. When we were dating
Speaker 1: in college, we slept together. Since then, I've gotten involved
Speaker 1: with the church and decided to wait until marriage to
Speaker 1: have sex. I'm not sure how to talk to him
Speaker 1: about this. I would like some advice on how to
Speaker 1: approach this conversation with him. Thanks so much. Anonymous almost
Speaker 1: said your name. I almost said, that's why, if you're
Speaker 1: gonna say you're anonymous, you don't need to tell me
Speaker 1: your name because I might accidentally read it. Okay, let's
Speaker 1: dive into this. This is interesting, not necessarily interesting in
Speaker 1: what you're asking. It's pretty I understand your question, but
Speaker 1: it's interesting. And I see this a lot on these
Speaker 1: questions as I'm you know, one hundred and seventy two
Speaker 1: episodes in we have a communication problem. Do you ever
Speaker 1: think about that? Like and Anonymous? And it's not it's
Speaker 1: by far not a knock on you. It's just it's
Speaker 1: an observation that you would rather ask me who you've
Speaker 1: never met, and I just host a podcast and sing
Speaker 1: country music, and you would rather ask me a question
Speaker 1: to ask me how you could ask a question when
Speaker 1: in reality, I don't understand what would be bad about
Speaker 1: just just telling him this same thing just as candid
Speaker 1: as possible. And here's the thing. I think sometimes we
Speaker 1: worry that a friend or a family member or a
Speaker 1: spouse or a boyfriend girlfriend is going to look down
Speaker 1: on us or get angry with us, or not understand us,
Speaker 1: or make fun of us. And so sometimes we just
Speaker 1: need to start the conversation by saying, hey, this is awkward,
Speaker 1: or hey, I feel uncomfortable saying this, or hey, this
Speaker 1: is difficult for me. I need to tell you something
Speaker 1: that that's kind of hard and it's difficult for me
Speaker 1: to bring this subject up, but I'm going to do
Speaker 1: it because it matters and you matter to me. So
Speaker 1: I think if you kind of preface it with that
Speaker 1: and you say just what you said to me in
Speaker 1: the email, you just say that to this guy. So
Speaker 1: if you sit him down and it's like, hey, I
Speaker 1: know we used to do this certain thing back then,
Speaker 1: and I'm changed and I don't want to do it anymore,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to bring this up to you, A
Speaker 1: couple of things happen when you say it. When you
Speaker 1: say it just like that, a couple of things are
Speaker 1: going to happen one you're going to know by his
Speaker 1: response what kind of guy he is and his investment
Speaker 1: in you is going to be. You know, if he's like, well,
Speaker 1: then I'm out, okay, good, good for you now, you know, right?
Speaker 1: And if he's like, well, I don't under I don't
Speaker 1: totally get it. I'm going to respect you and I'm
Speaker 1: going to respect your wish, but I don't totally get it.
Speaker 1: Can you help me to understand why you don't want to?
Speaker 1: So now you've got a witnessing opportunity and that's good.
Speaker 1: But either way, saying it is so critical, and saying
Speaker 1: it soon is so important. Just to say all of
Speaker 1: the information and to admit that you're vulnerable about it,
Speaker 1: and just to bring it all out in the open
Speaker 1: and stumble through and mumble the words and stutter and
Speaker 1: say you're embarrassed and speak it and be vulnerable and
Speaker 1: then play off of how he responds to that and
Speaker 1: let it go from there. That's your only play here,
Speaker 1: That's it. Because you don't want this to happen on
Speaker 1: Saturday night on the couch after the movie and things
Speaker 1: are getting frisky and you're like trying to use body
Speaker 1: language to tell him no Ah, that's weird, right, Like
Speaker 1: no one wants to be in that situation. She need
Speaker 1: to tell him soon, really soon, and how he responds
Speaker 1: is going to be huge on telling you what kind
Speaker 1: of guy is. Next question subject client says, lost my
Speaker 1: way in faith grandem My name is Caitlin. I've been
Speaker 1: a Christ follower since a young age. My grandmother led
Speaker 1: me to no Christ. She passed away in November of
Speaker 1: twenty one, and ever since, I've struggled to open my Bible,
Speaker 1: go to church and even pray. I feel her telling
Speaker 1: me to be in church again. But it's like I
Speaker 1: get to the door of the church and then I
Speaker 1: just break down and struggle to go in. I struggle
Speaker 1: to worship. I struggle to find a church where I
Speaker 1: could be fed and feel the Lord working. Any advice
Speaker 1: on what I should do? Thanks for everything your podcast
Speaker 1: gets me through the Monday morning ruts. Well, Caitlyn, thanks
Speaker 1: for the email. I appreciate you so much for listening
Speaker 1: and trusting me. All of y'all trusting me with your questions.
Speaker 1: Let's dive in. Let's like start picking apart your email here.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that you lost your grandmother. We'll start with that,
Speaker 1: truly sorry. She sounds like she was a great woman
Speaker 1: and she had a big influence on you, and so
Speaker 1: losing her you feel like some of that influence is gone,
Speaker 1: which is interesting if you think about it, because your
Speaker 1: grandmother gave you that influence, especially the christ follower apart,
Speaker 1: so that when she is gone, you could be on
Speaker 1: your own and be okay, like that's that's what she
Speaker 1: did it for. She didn't tell you all that stuff
Speaker 1: and demonstrate all that stuff to you, so that only
Speaker 1: when she's around you participate with her. She did it
Speaker 1: knowing one day I'm going to pass on this legacy.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be gone, and she's going to continue in
Speaker 1: this path and then she's going to teach it to
Speaker 1: her daughter and her daughter for that and so for
Speaker 1: you now, and all all respect to you, Caitlin, for
Speaker 1: you now to say you're falling backwards and you you
Speaker 1: don't want to follow up on this, you don't want
Speaker 1: to participate, and the action of faith that your grandmother
Speaker 1: taught you is a disrespect to your grandmother. Like I said,
Speaker 1: I don't I mean that in the best way possible
Speaker 1: to you, but it is a disrespect to what meant
Speaker 1: so much to your grandmother for you to just say,
Speaker 1: I'm I don't know. I can't really go in. It's
Speaker 1: too hard for me because it makes me think of her. Well,
Speaker 1: that's not the reason she taught it to you, so
Speaker 1: you remember her? Does that make sense? Whenever I see
Speaker 1: the question like this, lost my faith or excuse me,
Speaker 1: lost my way in faith? I think it's like I
Speaker 1: heard ambersay the other day, Well didn't it didn't just
Speaker 1: drop out of your pocket? Where is it? Just it's
Speaker 1: like you lost you left your purse or something, and
Speaker 1: you lost it. You left it on the train and
Speaker 1: seat one a it's gone. Like That's not what happens
Speaker 1: with faith. So we have to go back and think
Speaker 1: practically about what is faith? How did I lose it?
Speaker 1: Is it possible to lose? Is it possible to cultivate?
Speaker 1: Is it possible to make bigger? Well, so let's dive
Speaker 1: into that. I guess that's what your question is going
Speaker 1: to be about. When you were younger and you were
Speaker 1: with your grandmother and she was showing you this stuff.
Speaker 1: In my opinion, because of my life and when I
Speaker 1: think back on the times when I thought I had
Speaker 1: a lot of faith, and then turned out I didn't
Speaker 1: at all what I was doing. I was just mimicking
Speaker 1: those people around me and being caught up in the moment.
Speaker 1: So the moment was lifting me up and I thought, Wow,
Speaker 1: my faith is awesome right now. But in reality, I
Speaker 1: was just in the moment of those around me, in
Speaker 1: the moment of what your grandmother was doing. But on
Speaker 1: your own time away from your grandmother, completely separated from her.
Speaker 1: I'm being willing to bet that you weren't diligent in
Speaker 1: reading your Bible and going to church. What else did
Speaker 1: you say here worship? I'd be willing to bet those
Speaker 1: were usually tied to your grandmother. With your grandmother, so
Speaker 1: now that she's gone, faith is an action. Faith is
Speaker 1: a verb, so we acted out, we practically speak. This
Speaker 1: is the perfect example that I use of baseball all
Speaker 1: the time when people say I lost my faith. I say,
Speaker 1: if you were playing baseball and you said I lost
Speaker 1: my swing, I would then say, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: Are you talking to a coach? Are you watching video
Speaker 1: of yourself? Are you going to the batting cages? Show
Speaker 1: me what you're doing right now that's ending up with
Speaker 1: a bad swing. So, Caitlin, what are you doing right
Speaker 1: now that's ending up with bad faith. And you would say,
Speaker 1: pretty sure, I'm not doing anything. Just like the baseball
Speaker 1: player would say, I'm sitting on the couch eating cheetos
Speaker 1: wondering why I have a bad swing, and I would say,
Speaker 1: get your butt off the couch and pick up the
Speaker 1: baseball bat and go to the batting cages. So Caitlin,
Speaker 1: go into that bill that church building, go back in there,
Speaker 1: and then, just like the email before this, be vulnerable,
Speaker 1: be honest. Don't don't act like you're somebody you're not.
Speaker 1: Don't don't go into the congregation and be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is great. Jesus is great, I love love God,
Speaker 1: everything's great. Talk to someone, find a find an elder,
Speaker 1: find the pastor find someone, find a sister there and
Speaker 1: just go I'm struggling. Can I talk to you. I'm
Speaker 1: struggling right now. I lost my grandmother and she she
Speaker 1: was this for me. Now I need to know what this,
Speaker 1: what this really is? This whole church things, whole faith thing,
Speaker 1: so Bible thing, like what is it? I need to know?
Speaker 1: Oh but I do. I can tell you right now
Speaker 1: something's missing. There's a hole in my soul right now,
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to fill it with other stuff. And
Speaker 1: I thought Grandma filled it. But now that Grandma's gone,
Speaker 1: I realized she wasn't the thing that I needed. She
Speaker 1: wasn't what was filling the space. And I know it
Speaker 1: has something to do with faith, has something to do
Speaker 1: with this church. But I need help. Can you help me?
Speaker 1: Open up like that? Be honest, be vulnerable. Tell them
Speaker 1: that you're struggling. Tell them, Tell people that you're you
Speaker 1: don't know what to do. Tell your wise counsel in
Speaker 1: your church that. And that's a great first step. It's
Speaker 1: a great first step. You know. It's equivalent to It's
Speaker 1: equivalent to the baseball player going to a coach and going, man, coach,
Speaker 1: I can't swing. I can't swing. Watch me, watch me,
Speaker 1: I've lost it. I used to be such a great hitter.
Speaker 1: Now watch me. Look here's how I'm holding the bat.
Speaker 1: Here's my feet. I've watched a video. Look look at
Speaker 1: my form. Help me, coach, I need help, And he goes, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's get going. Let's get to work. Start at the beginning,
Speaker 1: and that's that's a good place for you. Let's hit
Speaker 1: another one. I'm getting into preaching mode. Subject line here says,
Speaker 1: how do I pour into myself? How do I pour
Speaker 1: into myself? Hey Granger, I've been listening to the podcast
Speaker 1: for a few months now. I've always said I was
Speaker 1: going to write you and hope that you would read
Speaker 1: my email, and you might not get to this one,
Speaker 1: but I hope you do. I always hear you talk
Speaker 1: about pouring into people and pouring into yourself. My question
Speaker 1: is how do I pour into myself. I've always felt
Speaker 1: like I'm not enough for anyone and even myself. Thank
Speaker 1: you for reading this if you get a chance. Thanks
Speaker 1: for everything you do, Emily, Emily, thanks, thanks for the
Speaker 1: kind words, and I'm excited to tell you that I'm
Speaker 1: currently reading your email on the podcast. So you made it.
Speaker 1: We did it. Here we are. Now let's get into it.
Speaker 1: What you're asking me, I could tell right away you're
Speaker 1: throwing other people in there, pouring into people. But what
Speaker 1: you really want to know is how do I love myself.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm good enough for anyone, yes,
Speaker 1: but for myself. The main focus, that's the main part
Speaker 1: of the email is I don't love myself and I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm not good enough for myself and I
Speaker 1: would say, what's crazy about this? This highly controversial right
Speaker 1: A lot of people listening right now are about to
Speaker 1: really disagree with me. What's crazy about your email? About needing,
Speaker 1: desperately needing to know how to pour into yourself and
Speaker 1: how to feel like you are enough for yourself in
Speaker 1: the essence of you to plating this and thinking and
Speaker 1: listening to my podcast. According to your words, you're always
Speaker 1: saying you're going to write in and hope that I
Speaker 1: read it about the subject of pouring into yourself and
Speaker 1: feeling like you are enough. All of this, I'll say
Speaker 1: this as lightly and as lovingly as I can to you.
Speaker 1: All of this is an obsession with yourself. How do
Speaker 1: I know? Because I'm human and I feel the compulsion
Speaker 1: of that obsession myself. All of us are obsessed with ourselves.
Speaker 1: That's all we think about, that's all we talk about,
Speaker 1: that's all we worry about. That's all we want. That's
Speaker 1: all we need is how to comply and love and
Speaker 1: accept and nurture ourselves. That's what we want. That's what
Speaker 1: consumer commercialism is driving. That's what commercials want you to see.
Speaker 1: How to make yourself better, how to make yourself look better?
Speaker 1: Feel better, run better, swing the bat better. Everything is
Speaker 1: about how do I make myself better? Why? Because I'm
Speaker 1: obsessed with myself. I love myself. I love myself. I'm
Speaker 1: so obsessed with myself. That's what everyone thinks, and everyone
Speaker 1: has to suppress that thought because the world says, you
Speaker 1: know what, the problem is, you don't love yourself enough,
Speaker 1: and that obsession inside of you, the psychopath inside of
Speaker 1: all of us goes, Yeah, you're right, I don't love
Speaker 1: myself enough. I need to love myself more. I want
Speaker 1: You're right, I want to love myself more. Because why
Speaker 1: because I hate myself? Yeah, I hate myself. So that's
Speaker 1: what the world wants to you. The world wants you
Speaker 1: to start thinking that it's gotten so bad with you
Speaker 1: that now you hate yourself. What's the opposite of hate?
Speaker 1: Everyone's like it's love. No, the opposite of hate is
Speaker 1: not love. The opposite of hate is indifference. Guess what
Speaker 1: the opposite of love is saying? The opposite of love
Speaker 1: is in difference. The opposite of hate is in difference.
Speaker 1: Hate and love are tight. They're close brothers. They are
Speaker 1: both obsessions forms obsessions in a relationship with ours. When
Speaker 1: we're talking about ourselves now in difference means, imagine imagine
Speaker 1: being indifferent to yourself for one second. We'll start with you, Emily.
Speaker 1: I'm ragging on you because you wrote the email, but
Speaker 1: you represent me and a lot of people, all humans,
Speaker 1: I would argue, all humans. Imagine feeling indifferent about yourself.
Speaker 1: H I don't really care. I wake up in the
Speaker 1: morning and my back hurts. I don't really care. I
Speaker 1: don't brush my teeth because I don't really care that
Speaker 1: I have bad breath or that I have plaque. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't care. I don't brush my hair or get a
Speaker 1: haircut because I don't care what people think about me,
Speaker 1: and I don't care with the way the hair fells
Speaker 1: on my head either way, don't really care. I don't
Speaker 1: really drink water because it's kind of annoying and I
Speaker 1: don't really care. And sometimes I skip meals sometimes I
Speaker 1: eat them. Either way, not a big deal out I
Speaker 1: go about my day. I don't have a job because
Speaker 1: I don't need money, because I don't really care about money.
Speaker 1: But it's not that I have some kind of good
Speaker 1: feeling about not having money. I just could have money
Speaker 1: or could not. Either way, I don't really care. I
Speaker 1: don't have a relationship because I don't need anybody, not
Speaker 1: because I'm that content. It's just because I don't really care.
Speaker 1: Do you know anyone like that? No, you don't. No
Speaker 1: one is like that. No one is indifferent to themselves.
Speaker 1: They either are obsessed with themselves through loving themselves through vanity,
Speaker 1: or they're obsessed with themselves through hating themselves. And to
Speaker 1: the point of the top of the line, the top
Speaker 1: form of self love, brother of hate, the top of
Speaker 1: it is suicide. It's the very pinnacle of all this,
Speaker 1: because suicide says I am so obsessed with myself and
Speaker 1: I'm currently hurting mentally, physically, whatever, and I don't care
Speaker 1: about anyone else but myself and ending this pain. I
Speaker 1: don't care the repercussions this does to my family, or
Speaker 1: my friends, or my work coworkers or anyone around me.
Speaker 1: I don't care. So I'm gonna kill myself because that
Speaker 1: will finally be the final act of self love to
Speaker 1: turn off that pain switch. I will do anything self
Speaker 1: love to make myself feel better, to feel peace, to
Speaker 1: feel not in pain anymore. I told you all this
Speaker 1: is controversial, but I'm very passionate about it, and I
Speaker 1: think about it a lot, because I'm surrounded in this
Speaker 1: world by this idea of self love, self status. Even
Speaker 1: self hate is an obsession that we have to We
Speaker 1: have to realize that self hate is in itself a
Speaker 1: form of self love because of the obsession. But what
Speaker 1: does Jesus say? What does the Bible say? What does
Speaker 1: the fundamental undertone of Christianity say? Love others like you
Speaker 1: love yourself. Notice there, it doesn't say love others and
Speaker 1: try to love yourself less. It doesn't say love others
Speaker 1: but don't love yourself. It says love others like you
Speaker 1: love yourself, knowing you're already You're already love yourself. So
Speaker 1: if you could pour into others that same amount, to
Speaker 1: that level, you could pour into others and love others
Speaker 1: at the same level that you love yourself. If you
Speaker 1: could do that, you're gonna get the promised peace and hope,
Speaker 1: enjoy the fruits of that love. That's what the Bible promises,
Speaker 1: and so emily through all this. That's a long way
Speaker 1: to say. If you could pour into others as you
Speaker 1: pour into yourself, if you could do it that hard, reckless, total,
Speaker 1: reckless abandonment, then you're gonna be in a good place.
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Speaker 1: the code granger. Back to the podcast, All right, Back
Speaker 1: to the podcast. We got a question subject line faith,
Speaker 1: Leadership and Past. If you have a question for me,
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and we will
Speaker 1: put it in the queue. No notes. I'm just going
Speaker 1: just off the top of my head whatever I feel,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna go with this one right here, Faith
Speaker 1: Leadership and Past. Hey Granger, my name is Michael, I
Speaker 1: met you a few times at your shows. I'm twenty
Speaker 1: four years old. I've experienced a lot of trauma in
Speaker 1: my past. I moved out when I was sixteen. I
Speaker 1: now have a corporate job that oversees twenty eight hundred employees.
Speaker 1: I am wanting to grow my leadership and faith. How
Speaker 1: do I overcome my past so that I can grow
Speaker 1: my faith and leadership. During the past year, I've lost
Speaker 1: over one hundred pounds and found working out helps me
Speaker 1: focus on what I do. Also, do you recommend any
Speaker 1: books about faith and leadership? Okay, so faith and leadership
Speaker 1: you have? You have, Michael, You've connected those two words.
Speaker 1: Every time you said it. Every time you said faith,
Speaker 1: you also said leadership. Every time you said leadership, you
Speaker 1: also said faith. So you put those two together. Thanks
Speaker 1: for emailing, brother and dude. First of all, let's just
Speaker 1: say kudos to you. Congrats losing over one hundred pounds.
Speaker 1: That takes tremendous discipline. And and then your your oversight
Speaker 1: of twenty eight hundred employees is really good. It's very respectable,
Speaker 1: and so in the corporate world, I would say it
Speaker 1: sounds like you're doing really well. Here's what I want
Speaker 1: to dig on you a little bit, you know, man,
Speaker 1: You know y'all know I'm gonna dig. You know I'm
Speaker 1: gonna dig. So when I sit here and talk about
Speaker 1: the Bible, faith, the Lord Jesus, I want to talk
Speaker 1: about this stuff what the Bible says. Outside of my opinion.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to give you my opinion right here.
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you what the Bible says. The
Speaker 1: Bible says, if we read it in its entirety, it
Speaker 1: is it is. It is completely undisputed what it says.
Speaker 1: And it says that we are on an airplane that
Speaker 1: is going down. This plane that we're on, all of
Speaker 1: us is crashing. We are barreling towards the earth. Now,
Speaker 1: our hope lies within the parachute. The parachute is the
Speaker 1: Gospel of Jesus. We are saved by grace through faith.
Speaker 1: Saved what do what do you think that word means? Saved?
Speaker 1: Like saved from embarrassment, saved from emotional distress. No, saved
Speaker 1: from the airplane that is going down to crash into
Speaker 1: a ball of flames. That's what it says, not the
Speaker 1: airplane part. But you're tracking with me, right, So the
Speaker 1: Gospel of Jesus is the parachute, and so so me
Speaker 1: on this podcast as I'm reading through the Bible and
Speaker 1: you guys ask your questions. I'm trying desperately, first of all,
Speaker 1: to tell you this is not my opinion. I'm just
Speaker 1: the messenger here. I didn't write the letter, I'm just
Speaker 1: delivering it. It says the weird going down in a
Speaker 1: ball of flames. Take this parachute and put it on you,
Speaker 1: and strap it tight. Pull these armstraps down. Make sure
Speaker 1: you're sensed. Listen to me. There's all this air going
Speaker 1: through the cabin and the and there's there's rattling, and
Speaker 1: you know that the plane is shaking and it's going
Speaker 1: through the and it's dark and we're yelling, and I'm
Speaker 1: trying to get across to you. Look, grab this strap,
Speaker 1: make sure this is tight. And then look at this
Speaker 1: armpit and make sure this pool. When it's time to go,
Speaker 1: when it's time to jump, you're gonna need to know
Speaker 1: where this switch is. And when you pull this switch,
Speaker 1: that's your parachute that is going to keep you from
Speaker 1: crashing and burning and dying. Right. This is an analogy
Speaker 1: of what the Bible essentially is saying, And so I
Speaker 1: say this stuff and I come back on the podcast
Speaker 1: and then Michael love you, Bro, I love you man.
Speaker 1: But then you say equivalent to you say, hey man,
Speaker 1: so this uh parachute thing's cool? Also, will you help
Speaker 1: me fly the plane? Help me learn how to fly
Speaker 1: this plane. That's that's the equivalent of you saying, can
Speaker 1: you show me more about faith in leadership? Because I
Speaker 1: really want to grow those two things, like at an
Speaker 1: equal level. It's kind of what you're insinuating here. I
Speaker 1: want to learn. I want to learn get any books
Speaker 1: about faith and leadership because those are two things that
Speaker 1: are really important to me. It's the equivalent of you saying,
Speaker 1: hey man, can you show me more about this parachute
Speaker 1: thing and how to fly a plane? Because I'm interested
Speaker 1: in getting my pilot's license and I think I might
Speaker 1: be a commercial pilot one day. I's think it's something
Speaker 1: I'm kind of interested in. And now that we're on
Speaker 1: a plane, I think it'd be cool for us to
Speaker 1: maybe go up in the cot pick and you just
Speaker 1: show me a couple of buttons that you've experienced in
Speaker 1: your life and we'll just see And I'm like, Bro,
Speaker 1: this plane's going down. Are you tracking with me? If
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with the leadershow Leadership is very important, right,
Speaker 1: it's very important. You know, flying a plane's important. But
Speaker 1: if you're going to put it in the same context
Speaker 1: of the the plane that is going down, that is unfliable,
Speaker 1: and you're going to say that, that is going to
Speaker 1: to be equivalent to learning how to put on a parachute.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, dude, take those two words that you
Speaker 1: constantly put together and separate them, and I want you
Speaker 1: to say, faith, this is my parachute. I have to
Speaker 1: learn this. I have to know that my straps are
Speaker 1: on tight. I have to continue to work it out.
Speaker 1: I have to continue to test it. I've got to
Speaker 1: keep pulling these things. I got to go up one
Speaker 1: more time and make sure I've got that little that handle.
Speaker 1: I got to make sure for the tenth time I've
Speaker 1: got a good grip on it. I got to work
Speaker 1: this stuff out, keep it fresh. Okay, please please hear me.
Speaker 1: Hear what I'm trying to say. Nothing else I could
Speaker 1: tell you matters. Dude. You're overseeing twenty eight hundred employees.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. You're doing really good. You lost over one
Speaker 1: hundred pounds. You know how hard it is to do that.
Speaker 1: You know how many people can say that you've got
Speaker 1: incredible self discipline. You're incredibly motivated. Now, if you want
Speaker 1: to go back to past email and you want to
Speaker 1: talk about servant leadership separate from faith. But if you
Speaker 1: want to take that and pull it apart and say,
Speaker 1: pour into others, pour into those under you don't act
Speaker 1: better than them. Find that one guy, that one guy
Speaker 1: that's just has to has to be on the toilet duty.
Speaker 1: You know, he's the guy that cleans the toilets. Nobody
Speaker 1: really talks to him. He doesn't even speak English. So well,
Speaker 1: find that guy, learn his name, take him to lunch
Speaker 1: one day, pour into him, find out, find out about
Speaker 1: his mama, what does she do, where does she live,
Speaker 1: Where did he grow up? You got twenty eight hundred employees,
Speaker 1: but you pour into one like that, things are gonna change.
Speaker 1: You pour into one guy, learn his name, and then
Speaker 1: find another one. Not the guys that are gonna help
Speaker 1: you to continue to climb the corporate ladder. Those guys
Speaker 1: are fine, but they need to be treated equally as
Speaker 1: the guy that works the toilets. You truly find that
Speaker 1: and they see you, and you don't do it in
Speaker 1: a way that's showy. You don't do it in a
Speaker 1: way that you hope that everyone notices, so that they
Speaker 1: think you're just a really humble guy. You do it
Speaker 1: in a way that even when no one's looking, it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter to you. They're gonna get wind of that.
Speaker 1: You're twenty eight hundred. Are gonna be your army, and
Speaker 1: they will die for you, and they will go into
Speaker 1: war with you. They will go into battle with you.
Speaker 1: They will stand beside you, and you will stand beside them,
Speaker 1: and they'll know you're going in with the same sword. Okay,
Speaker 1: there was a lot of info, Michael, And if I
Speaker 1: could keep going unless I have to stop myself, something gone.
Speaker 1: This next one says finding happiness and work and relationships. Hey,
Speaker 1: mister Grangram twenty six found this. I find that it's
Speaker 1: hard to find happiness in my job and within my
Speaker 1: personal relationships, whether they be friendships or intimate ones. I'm
Speaker 1: in the South Dakota Guard and even that seems to
Speaker 1: be not enough to make me happy anymore. I guess
Speaker 1: my question is how do I find my own happiness?
Speaker 1: Because I've tried what it seems like everything I've tried
Speaker 1: doing things I thought I enjoyed, like hunting, fishing, work
Speaker 1: in my truck, shooting. I love your podcast, listen to
Speaker 1: it every day. It doesn't say you don't see your
Speaker 1: name except in the email says Nelson. I'll call you Nelson.
Speaker 1: It was crazy? What's crazy about your question? Nelson? I
Speaker 1: host this radio show after midnight, and occasionally for after midnight,
Speaker 1: I will go to this podcast email and I'll pick
Speaker 1: one out of the inbox and read it on the
Speaker 1: air on after midnight. And I read yours about two
Speaker 1: weeks ago, and I presented the idea to all the listeners.
Speaker 1: But this guy is looking for joy everywhere hobbies, work, career, relationships,
Speaker 1: and he cannot find it. Is joy something that can
Speaker 1: be found? In fact, I pointed out that I think
Speaker 1: you have mistaken the word happiness for joy, joy being
Speaker 1: more equivalent to long term happiness. Right, short term happiness
Speaker 1: happens upon us. That's what I like to think. Happiness
Speaker 1: happens to us. Have you ever seen that meme that
Speaker 1: says anyone that said they can't buy happiness has never
Speaker 1: written a four whiller. That's kind of true, Like there's
Speaker 1: a little bit of truth to that. You want to
Speaker 1: find happiness, jump on a four wheeler and ride fifty
Speaker 1: miles an hour in an open field in New Mexico,
Speaker 1: the sun on your shoulders, like, it's hard to be
Speaker 1: sad in that kind of moment, right, But then you say,
Speaker 1: you pull over and your phone is buzzing in your pocket.
Speaker 1: You pull it out. It's your brother. Mom's in the hospital.
Speaker 1: It's cancer. It's back. She doesn't have long come home soon.
Speaker 1: Suddenly riding that four wheeler, that sunshine, a good time,
Speaker 1: feeling you're having gone gone. You don't read an email
Speaker 1: like that or text and then fire up the four
Speaker 1: wheeler and take another spin. Hey, what was that email?
Speaker 1: What was the text? God's mom, Cancer's back. Hey, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do a couple of spins and go route and
Speaker 1: I'll meet you guys back at the house. Sure is
Speaker 1: a great day. That's happiness. It comes and it goes.
Speaker 1: And that's why I think this email is mistaking the
Speaker 1: word happiness for joy, because joy is what coexists through
Speaker 1: all of it. Joy is something that can't be taken away.
Speaker 1: Joy is something that exists inside simultaneously with grief. It
Speaker 1: could coexist with the darkest grief. You could have joy
Speaker 1: that cannot be robbed from you, and the same way
Speaker 1: that it can't be taken away. Joy can't be achieved
Speaker 1: or attained by earthly measures. You can't go buy a
Speaker 1: four wheeler or a bass boat and say I'm gonna
Speaker 1: find me some joy today. Baby, you're mistaking that word
Speaker 1: for fleeting happiness. So in this email, as you're going
Speaker 1: through searching for relationships, or the South Dakota Guard or
Speaker 1: the hunting and fishing, that stuff is just fleeting happiness.
Speaker 1: And to a certain level, if you get to a
Speaker 1: certain level of depression and grief and sadness, or or
Speaker 1: just not being content a certain level, there is nothing
Speaker 1: that can make you happy. You know what's crazy, y'all?
Speaker 1: Think about about Elvis's daughter that just passed away. She
Speaker 1: had everything. She had the capability of buying everything, and
Speaker 1: not just with money, but she could also have the
Speaker 1: service of anything. She could have anyone serve on her
Speaker 1: for her to her of anything. She could buy an
Speaker 1: island or jets to go to the island, and food
Speaker 1: and servants to feed her while she's coming off the
Speaker 1: jet in the island. And yet she wasn't happy, nothing
Speaker 1: satisfied her. She actually died with an addiction to painkillers
Speaker 1: or whatever else she was taken, whatever else pills she
Speaker 1: was taking. Do we really think about that, like, does
Speaker 1: that really compute with us, that the money, that that service,
Speaker 1: that that unchecked power cannot satisfy a part of us
Speaker 1: that holds our joy, a part that the piece of
Speaker 1: contentment that gives us something everlasting. We ever think about that.
Speaker 1: It's like we hear those stories and that they're is
Speaker 1: old as time. We hear them and they come and
Speaker 1: they go, and we continue to go, Yeah, great, but
Speaker 1: I really want to get the money. I really want
Speaker 1: to get that next four wheeler. I really want to
Speaker 1: do this. You know, I gotta do more hunting trips,
Speaker 1: more shooting, working on my truck, whatever's in this email,
Speaker 1: trips things I need it. And then when you get it,
Speaker 1: you go, now I need it someone to share it with.
Speaker 1: And then you go, now I got someone to share
Speaker 1: it with. I need to make babies with the person
Speaker 1: that I'm gonna share it with, because this is how
Speaker 1: I'm just going to create manifest this happiness in my life.
Speaker 1: And then you hit forty years old and you go, golly,
Speaker 1: I got I got nothing, I got no joy, I
Speaker 1: got kids, I got wife, I got job, I got
Speaker 1: toys and nothing but burden and all these things I
Speaker 1: thought I wanted, all this stuff that I thought was
Speaker 1: the American dream. It's gonna make me happy, and it's
Speaker 1: doing nothing. I used to think a new truck would
Speaker 1: do it. I used to think a new house surely
Speaker 1: would do it. Maybe another baby, maybe a fourth baby,
Speaker 1: is gonna do it. Maybe we need to just need
Speaker 1: a vacation. How many y'all have heard that I just
Speaker 1: need a vacation? God, Leah, just once, Like man, I
Speaker 1: cannot wait to get to Cayman Island. When I get there,
Speaker 1: things are gonna be nice. I'm gonna sit there with
Speaker 1: my corona and things are gonna be good. And then
Speaker 1: you get there and guess what traveled with you? That pain?
Speaker 1: It found you, It camean And then you think, I
Speaker 1: just need a vacation from my vacation. And then you
Speaker 1: get back home and there it is waiting for you,
Speaker 1: all those same problems. You thought you could buy your
Speaker 1: way out of it, that you thought you could experience
Speaker 1: your way out of it. You thought you could love
Speaker 1: your way out of it with a spouse or a kid,
Speaker 1: a friend, But you can't. That's a story as old
Speaker 1: as time. Joy comes from a different place. It's different
Speaker 1: than happiness. Joy is deeper, it's longer lasting. Joy comes
Speaker 1: from peace and relateationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
Speaker 1: the provider of joy. He wrote it, He wrote the
Speaker 1: letter of joy. It's his, and he shares it willingly
Speaker 1: when we didn't deserve it. Can you imagine that he
Speaker 1: shares I love overflowing with joy that he has with
Speaker 1: the Father, and he shares it out of abundance willingly
Speaker 1: with an undeserving creature like me. And all I gotta
Speaker 1: do is trust, believe in him, turn from my old ways,
Speaker 1: turn away and turn to him. Put my trust in him,
Speaker 1: and he goes. You trust me. I'm gonna give you something.
Speaker 1: It's just just just a get just a glimpse of
Speaker 1: what's to come. This little piece of joy you're gonna
Speaker 1: have in your heart that no one can take away,
Speaker 1: that no job could fulfill, that no pain or loss
Speaker 1: or death of a loved one could steal from you.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a little piece of this, But
Speaker 1: wait till you feel when it's completely fulfilled. Wait till
Speaker 1: you feel when you're with me and you get all
Speaker 1: of it. That's the promise. That's what he promises us.
Speaker 1: I don't have to testify. I don't have to convince you,
Speaker 1: the listener. I don't have to convince you of this,
Speaker 1: because all you gotta is look around and go yep.
Speaker 1: He tried to find it. She tried to find it.
Speaker 1: He tried to find it. He killed himself, he got rich,
Speaker 1: never found it, he stayed poor, never found it. The
Speaker 1: world will not give it to you, but it still
Speaker 1: holds that lie that it can. That's a trick. We
Speaker 1: can't fall for it. Nelson, Your email spurred two weeks
Speaker 1: of conversations with people on after Midnight on iHeartRadio. That
Speaker 1: called in hundreds of times, and everyone had a new
Speaker 1: definition of what joy is. Where does it come from?
Speaker 1: How do you make it? How do you manifest it?
Speaker 1: And they all had a different idea. And I listen
Speaker 1: and I'm moderated, and I commentated, But there's only one
Speaker 1: place that really comes from. Love you guys, see you
Speaker 1: next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast.
Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you. Guys, you could help me
Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Yigi