1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:06,880 Speaker 1: What's crazy about this? This highly controversial right A lot 2 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:10,400 Speaker 1: of people listening right now are about to really disagree 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: with me. What's crazy about your email? About desperately needing 4 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 1: to know how to pour into yourself and how to 5 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 1: feel like you are enough for yourself. In the essence 6 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: all of this, I'll say this as lightly and as 7 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: lovingly as I can to you, all of this is 8 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: an obsession with yourself. What's up? Everybody? Welcome to the podcast, 9 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,839 Speaker 1: Episode one seventy two. Thanks for watching and listening. It's 10 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,040 Speaker 1: gonna be fun. One got your questions lined up. If 11 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 1: you want to ask me anything, email Granger Smith Podcast 12 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. I'll answer it. We'll put it 13 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 1: in the queue. My only thing is don't send the 14 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: same email twice and don't make it too long. It 15 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: makes it harder for me to read the entire question. 16 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 1: And I don't have notes, I don't have anything prepared. 17 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 1: I just go off of what these emails say. What 18 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 1: the latest one in the queue is. I also host 19 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 1: a radio show called After Midnight, and it's on every 20 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: Country music iHeart station FM station in America. So and 21 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:31,400 Speaker 1: it runs from midnight to some stations five am. Some 22 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 1: stations six am. What's crazy is how this podcast has 23 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 1: started integrating into that radio show, and we've been speaking 24 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 1: about these questions, sometimes right off of your questions on 25 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: after Midnight, and then it spurs these great conversations that 26 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: I get to have on the radio with people working 27 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: the third shift, meaning to people the Amazon's stockers, the 28 00:01:56,040 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: grocery store stockers, the newspaper deliverers, the the truck drivers, 29 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:09,079 Speaker 1: the all night workers, security ems, hospitals, police, it's been 30 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,639 Speaker 1: really inspirational to hear their stories and to read your 31 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 1: questions on there. So some of y'all are the same 32 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 1: people and some of y'all are completely different, but either way, 33 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: it's been a blessing to have after midnight and to 34 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 1: see it start to look more and more like this 35 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: podcast for people that might need to hear it in 36 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,520 Speaker 1: the middle of the night. Let's get to the first 37 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,679 Speaker 1: one here again. If you have a question for me, 38 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 1: email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. The first one 39 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:43,519 Speaker 1: in the queue, subject line says having the no sex 40 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: with a guy I am seeing. That's what the subject 41 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,679 Speaker 1: line says exactly. The email says, Hey, grangoud like to 42 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:52,919 Speaker 1: remain anonymous. I'm twenty six years old from Colorado. Recently 43 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: started dating an X from college. When we were dating 44 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 1: in college, we slept together. Since then, I've gotten involved 45 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: with the church and decided to wait until marriage to 46 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: have sex. I'm not sure how to talk to him 47 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,640 Speaker 1: about this. I would like some advice on how to 48 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: approach this conversation with him. Thanks so much. Anonymous almost 49 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 1: said your name. I almost said, that's why, if you're 50 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,960 Speaker 1: gonna say you're anonymous, you don't need to tell me 51 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 1: your name because I might accidentally read it. Okay, let's 52 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: dive into this. This is interesting, not necessarily interesting in 53 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:33,360 Speaker 1: what you're asking. It's pretty I understand your question, but 54 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: it's interesting. And I see this a lot on these 55 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: questions as I'm you know, one hundred and seventy two 56 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: episodes in we have a communication problem. Do you ever 57 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: think about that? Like and Anonymous? And it's not it's 58 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: by far not a knock on you. It's just it's 59 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: an observation that you would rather ask me who you've 60 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 1: never met, and I just host a podcast and sing 61 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 1: country music, and you would rather ask me a question 62 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: to ask me how you could ask a question when 63 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 1: in reality, I don't understand what would be bad about 64 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: just just telling him this same thing just as candid 65 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 1: as possible. And here's the thing. I think sometimes we 66 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: worry that a friend or a family member or a 67 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: spouse or a boyfriend girlfriend is going to look down 68 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: on us or get angry with us, or not understand us, 69 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: or make fun of us. And so sometimes we just 70 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: need to start the conversation by saying, hey, this is awkward, 71 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: or hey, I feel uncomfortable saying this, or hey, this 72 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 1: is difficult for me. I need to tell you something 73 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,479 Speaker 1: that that's kind of hard and it's difficult for me 74 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,719 Speaker 1: to bring this subject up, but I'm going to do 75 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:03,919 Speaker 1: it because it matters and you matter to me. So 76 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: I think if you kind of preface it with that 77 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: and you say just what you said to me in 78 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,720 Speaker 1: the email, you just say that to this guy. So 79 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: if you sit him down and it's like, hey, I 80 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: know we used to do this certain thing back then, 81 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: and I'm changed and I don't want to do it anymore, 82 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,359 Speaker 1: and I wanted to bring this up to you, A 83 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 1: couple of things happen when you say it. When you 84 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 1: say it just like that, a couple of things are 85 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:36,160 Speaker 1: going to happen one you're going to know by his 86 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 1: response what kind of guy he is and his investment 87 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 1: in you is going to be. You know, if he's like, well, 88 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:50,279 Speaker 1: then I'm out, okay, good, good for you now, you know, right? 89 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 1: And if he's like, well, I don't under I don't 90 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: totally get it. I'm going to respect you and I'm 91 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:02,040 Speaker 1: going to respect your wish, but I don't totally get it. 92 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: Can you help me to understand why you don't want to? 93 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:09,599 Speaker 1: So now you've got a witnessing opportunity and that's good. 94 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 1: But either way, saying it is so critical, and saying 95 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 1: it soon is so important. Just to say all of 96 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: the information and to admit that you're vulnerable about it, 97 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: and just to bring it all out in the open 98 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: and stumble through and mumble the words and stutter and 99 00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:31,839 Speaker 1: say you're embarrassed and speak it and be vulnerable and 100 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: then play off of how he responds to that and 101 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:40,279 Speaker 1: let it go from there. That's your only play here, 102 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: That's it. Because you don't want this to happen on 103 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: Saturday night on the couch after the movie and things 104 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 1: are getting frisky and you're like trying to use body 105 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: language to tell him no Ah, that's weird, right, Like 106 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 1: no one wants to be in that situation. She need 107 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 1: to tell him soon, really soon, and how he responds 108 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 1: is going to be huge on telling you what kind 109 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 1: of guy is. Next question subject client says, lost my 110 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 1: way in faith grandem My name is Caitlin. I've been 111 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 1: a Christ follower since a young age. My grandmother led 112 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: me to no Christ. She passed away in November of 113 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: twenty one, and ever since, I've struggled to open my Bible, 114 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:34,120 Speaker 1: go to church and even pray. I feel her telling 115 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: me to be in church again. But it's like I 116 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 1: get to the door of the church and then I 117 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,040 Speaker 1: just break down and struggle to go in. I struggle 118 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: to worship. I struggle to find a church where I 119 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:46,240 Speaker 1: could be fed and feel the Lord working. Any advice 120 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 1: on what I should do? Thanks for everything your podcast 121 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 1: gets me through the Monday morning ruts. Well, Caitlyn, thanks 122 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: for the email. I appreciate you so much for listening 123 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 1: and trusting me. All of y'all trusting me with your questions. 124 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 1: Let's dive in. Let's like start picking apart your email here. 125 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: I'm sorry that you lost your grandmother. We'll start with that, 126 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: truly sorry. She sounds like she was a great woman 127 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: and she had a big influence on you, and so 128 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 1: losing her you feel like some of that influence is gone, 129 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 1: which is interesting if you think about it, because your 130 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: grandmother gave you that influence, especially the christ follower apart, 131 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 1: so that when she is gone, you could be on 132 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 1: your own and be okay, like that's that's what she 133 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 1: did it for. She didn't tell you all that stuff 134 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:44,959 Speaker 1: and demonstrate all that stuff to you, so that only 135 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 1: when she's around you participate with her. She did it 136 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 1: knowing one day I'm going to pass on this legacy. 137 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be gone, and she's going to continue in 138 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 1: this path and then she's going to teach it to 139 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: her daughter and her daughter for that and so for 140 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:08,720 Speaker 1: you now, and all all respect to you, Caitlin, for 141 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 1: you now to say you're falling backwards and you you 142 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,120 Speaker 1: don't want to follow up on this, you don't want 143 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:19,080 Speaker 1: to participate, and the action of faith that your grandmother 144 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 1: taught you is a disrespect to your grandmother. Like I said, 145 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 1: I don't I mean that in the best way possible 146 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 1: to you, but it is a disrespect to what meant 147 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 1: so much to your grandmother for you to just say, 148 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 1: I'm I don't know. I can't really go in. It's 149 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,560 Speaker 1: too hard for me because it makes me think of her. Well, 150 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 1: that's not the reason she taught it to you, so 151 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 1: you remember her? Does that make sense? Whenever I see 152 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:53,000 Speaker 1: the question like this, lost my faith or excuse me, 153 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 1: lost my way in faith? I think it's like I 154 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,080 Speaker 1: heard ambersay the other day, Well didn't it didn't just 155 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: drop out of your pocket? Where is it? Just it's 156 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 1: like you lost you left your purse or something, and 157 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: you lost it. You left it on the train and 158 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 1: seat one a it's gone. Like That's not what happens 159 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 1: with faith. So we have to go back and think 160 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 1: practically about what is faith? How did I lose it? 161 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 1: Is it possible to lose? Is it possible to cultivate? 162 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 1: Is it possible to make bigger? Well, so let's dive 163 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,840 Speaker 1: into that. I guess that's what your question is going 164 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: to be about. When you were younger and you were 165 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: with your grandmother and she was showing you this stuff. 166 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 1: In my opinion, because of my life and when I 167 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 1: think back on the times when I thought I had 168 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,959 Speaker 1: a lot of faith, and then turned out I didn't 169 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 1: at all what I was doing. I was just mimicking 170 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: those people around me and being caught up in the moment. 171 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,680 Speaker 1: So the moment was lifting me up and I thought, Wow, 172 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: my faith is awesome right now. But in reality, I 173 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 1: was just in the moment of those around me, in 174 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,600 Speaker 1: the moment of what your grandmother was doing. But on 175 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 1: your own time away from your grandmother, completely separated from her. 176 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:13,320 Speaker 1: I'm being willing to bet that you weren't diligent in 177 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 1: reading your Bible and going to church. What else did 178 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:20,080 Speaker 1: you say here worship? I'd be willing to bet those 179 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,760 Speaker 1: were usually tied to your grandmother. With your grandmother, so 180 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: now that she's gone, faith is an action. Faith is 181 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: a verb, so we acted out, we practically speak. This 182 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 1: is the perfect example that I use of baseball all 183 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 1: the time when people say I lost my faith. I say, 184 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,319 Speaker 1: if you were playing baseball and you said I lost 185 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 1: my swing, I would then say, what are you doing? 186 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 1: Are you talking to a coach? Are you watching video 187 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 1: of yourself? Are you going to the batting cages? Show 188 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 1: me what you're doing right now that's ending up with 189 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:55,079 Speaker 1: a bad swing. So, Caitlin, what are you doing right 190 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:59,240 Speaker 1: now that's ending up with bad faith. And you would say, 191 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,960 Speaker 1: pretty sure, I'm not doing anything. Just like the baseball 192 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,319 Speaker 1: player would say, I'm sitting on the couch eating cheetos 193 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 1: wondering why I have a bad swing, and I would say, 194 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 1: get your butt off the couch and pick up the 195 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 1: baseball bat and go to the batting cages. So Caitlin, 196 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 1: go into that bill that church building, go back in there, 197 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 1: and then, just like the email before this, be vulnerable, 198 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 1: be honest. Don't don't act like you're somebody you're not. 199 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: Don't don't go into the congregation and be like, yeah, 200 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: this is great. Jesus is great, I love love God, 201 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:41,160 Speaker 1: everything's great. Talk to someone, find a find an elder, 202 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,240 Speaker 1: find the pastor find someone, find a sister there and 203 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,439 Speaker 1: just go I'm struggling. Can I talk to you. I'm 204 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:49,840 Speaker 1: struggling right now. I lost my grandmother and she she 205 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: was this for me. Now I need to know what this, 206 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 1: what this really is? This whole church things, whole faith thing, 207 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 1: so Bible thing, like what is it? I need to know? 208 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 1: Oh but I do. I can tell you right now 209 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: something's missing. There's a hole in my soul right now, 210 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 1: and I'm trying to fill it with other stuff. And 211 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,560 Speaker 1: I thought Grandma filled it. But now that Grandma's gone, 212 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: I realized she wasn't the thing that I needed. She 213 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: wasn't what was filling the space. And I know it 214 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,560 Speaker 1: has something to do with faith, has something to do 215 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,880 Speaker 1: with this church. But I need help. Can you help me? 216 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 1: Open up like that? Be honest, be vulnerable. Tell them 217 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 1: that you're struggling. Tell them, Tell people that you're you 218 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:35,680 Speaker 1: don't know what to do. Tell your wise counsel in 219 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: your church that. And that's a great first step. It's 220 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: a great first step. You know. It's equivalent to It's 221 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,240 Speaker 1: equivalent to the baseball player going to a coach and going, man, coach, 222 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,080 Speaker 1: I can't swing. I can't swing. Watch me, watch me, 223 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,680 Speaker 1: I've lost it. I used to be such a great hitter. 224 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,480 Speaker 1: Now watch me. Look here's how I'm holding the bat. 225 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:01,959 Speaker 1: Here's my feet. I've watched a video. Look look at 226 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:05,320 Speaker 1: my form. Help me, coach, I need help, And he goes, Okay, 227 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 1: let's get going. Let's get to work. Start at the beginning, 228 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 1: and that's that's a good place for you. Let's hit 229 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 1: another one. I'm getting into preaching mode. Subject line here says, 230 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:26,000 Speaker 1: how do I pour into myself? How do I pour 231 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,880 Speaker 1: into myself? Hey Granger, I've been listening to the podcast 232 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 1: for a few months now. I've always said I was 233 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 1: going to write you and hope that you would read 234 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,560 Speaker 1: my email, and you might not get to this one, 235 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 1: but I hope you do. I always hear you talk 236 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:42,760 Speaker 1: about pouring into people and pouring into yourself. My question 237 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 1: is how do I pour into myself. I've always felt 238 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 1: like I'm not enough for anyone and even myself. Thank 239 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,320 Speaker 1: you for reading this if you get a chance. Thanks 240 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 1: for everything you do, Emily, Emily, thanks, thanks for the 241 00:14:56,440 --> 00:15:00,960 Speaker 1: kind words, and I'm excited to tell you that I'm 242 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,000 Speaker 1: currently reading your email on the podcast. So you made it. 243 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 1: We did it. Here we are. Now let's get into it. 244 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 1: What you're asking me, I could tell right away you're 245 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 1: throwing other people in there, pouring into people. But what 246 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 1: you really want to know is how do I love myself. 247 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,360 Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm good enough for anyone, yes, 248 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 1: but for myself. The main focus, that's the main part 249 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 1: of the email is I don't love myself and I 250 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:32,800 Speaker 1: feel like I'm not good enough for myself and I 251 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 1: would say, what's crazy about this? This highly controversial right 252 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,360 Speaker 1: A lot of people listening right now are about to 253 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 1: really disagree with me. What's crazy about your email? About needing, 254 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 1: desperately needing to know how to pour into yourself and 255 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:57,320 Speaker 1: how to feel like you are enough for yourself in 256 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 1: the essence of you to plating this and thinking and 257 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:06,680 Speaker 1: listening to my podcast. According to your words, you're always 258 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,320 Speaker 1: saying you're going to write in and hope that I 259 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 1: read it about the subject of pouring into yourself and 260 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:18,920 Speaker 1: feeling like you are enough. All of this, I'll say 261 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,840 Speaker 1: this as lightly and as lovingly as I can to you. 262 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:28,360 Speaker 1: All of this is an obsession with yourself. How do 263 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:33,760 Speaker 1: I know? Because I'm human and I feel the compulsion 264 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 1: of that obsession myself. All of us are obsessed with ourselves. 265 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,400 Speaker 1: That's all we think about, that's all we talk about, 266 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 1: that's all we worry about. That's all we want. That's 267 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:50,920 Speaker 1: all we need is how to comply and love and 268 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:57,080 Speaker 1: accept and nurture ourselves. That's what we want. That's what 269 00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: consumer commercialism is driving. That's what commercials want you to see. 270 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,200 Speaker 1: How to make yourself better, how to make yourself look better? 271 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:10,679 Speaker 1: Feel better, run better, swing the bat better. Everything is 272 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 1: about how do I make myself better? Why? Because I'm 273 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:18,400 Speaker 1: obsessed with myself. I love myself. I love myself. I'm 274 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:23,400 Speaker 1: so obsessed with myself. That's what everyone thinks, and everyone 275 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:28,040 Speaker 1: has to suppress that thought because the world says, you 276 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:31,280 Speaker 1: know what, the problem is, you don't love yourself enough, 277 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,639 Speaker 1: and that obsession inside of you, the psychopath inside of 278 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 1: all of us goes, Yeah, you're right, I don't love 279 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: myself enough. I need to love myself more. I want 280 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 1: You're right, I want to love myself more. Because why 281 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:49,480 Speaker 1: because I hate myself? Yeah, I hate myself. So that's 282 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,919 Speaker 1: what the world wants to you. The world wants you 283 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 1: to start thinking that it's gotten so bad with you 284 00:17:55,480 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 1: that now you hate yourself. What's the opposite of hate? 285 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,760 Speaker 1: Everyone's like it's love. No, the opposite of hate is 286 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:12,600 Speaker 1: not love. The opposite of hate is indifference. Guess what 287 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:17,240 Speaker 1: the opposite of love is saying? The opposite of love 288 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 1: is in difference. The opposite of hate is in difference. 289 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 1: Hate and love are tight. They're close brothers. They are 290 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 1: both obsessions forms obsessions in a relationship with ours. When 291 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:38,680 Speaker 1: we're talking about ourselves now in difference means, imagine imagine 292 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:43,280 Speaker 1: being indifferent to yourself for one second. We'll start with you, Emily. 293 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 1: I'm ragging on you because you wrote the email, but 294 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,919 Speaker 1: you represent me and a lot of people, all humans, 295 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:56,200 Speaker 1: I would argue, all humans. Imagine feeling indifferent about yourself. 296 00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:01,119 Speaker 1: H I don't really care. I wake up in the 297 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:06,600 Speaker 1: morning and my back hurts. I don't really care. I 298 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 1: don't brush my teeth because I don't really care that 299 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,920 Speaker 1: I have bad breath or that I have plaque. Yeah, 300 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 1: don't care. I don't brush my hair or get a 301 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,879 Speaker 1: haircut because I don't care what people think about me, 302 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,520 Speaker 1: and I don't care with the way the hair fells 303 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:25,400 Speaker 1: on my head either way, don't really care. I don't 304 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,560 Speaker 1: really drink water because it's kind of annoying and I 305 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:32,320 Speaker 1: don't really care. And sometimes I skip meals sometimes I 306 00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:35,800 Speaker 1: eat them. Either way, not a big deal out I 307 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 1: go about my day. I don't have a job because 308 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,639 Speaker 1: I don't need money, because I don't really care about money. 309 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,640 Speaker 1: But it's not that I have some kind of good 310 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 1: feeling about not having money. I just could have money 311 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 1: or could not. Either way, I don't really care. I 312 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 1: don't have a relationship because I don't need anybody, not 313 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 1: because I'm that content. It's just because I don't really care. 314 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:04,159 Speaker 1: Do you know anyone like that? No, you don't. No 315 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,639 Speaker 1: one is like that. No one is indifferent to themselves. 316 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 1: They either are obsessed with themselves through loving themselves through vanity, 317 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,360 Speaker 1: or they're obsessed with themselves through hating themselves. And to 318 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 1: the point of the top of the line, the top 319 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,679 Speaker 1: form of self love, brother of hate, the top of 320 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,480 Speaker 1: it is suicide. It's the very pinnacle of all this, 321 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: because suicide says I am so obsessed with myself and 322 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:35,600 Speaker 1: I'm currently hurting mentally, physically, whatever, and I don't care 323 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 1: about anyone else but myself and ending this pain. I 324 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,159 Speaker 1: don't care the repercussions this does to my family, or 325 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,439 Speaker 1: my friends, or my work coworkers or anyone around me. 326 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:51,720 Speaker 1: I don't care. So I'm gonna kill myself because that 327 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:55,960 Speaker 1: will finally be the final act of self love to 328 00:20:56,040 --> 00:21:00,480 Speaker 1: turn off that pain switch. I will do anything self 329 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 1: love to make myself feel better, to feel peace, to 330 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:13,119 Speaker 1: feel not in pain anymore. I told you all this 331 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,119 Speaker 1: is controversial, but I'm very passionate about it, and I 332 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,879 Speaker 1: think about it a lot, because I'm surrounded in this 333 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 1: world by this idea of self love, self status. Even 334 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:28,719 Speaker 1: self hate is an obsession that we have to We 335 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:33,159 Speaker 1: have to realize that self hate is in itself a 336 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:37,439 Speaker 1: form of self love because of the obsession. But what 337 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 1: does Jesus say? What does the Bible say? What does 338 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 1: the fundamental undertone of Christianity say? Love others like you 339 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:57,040 Speaker 1: love yourself. Notice there, it doesn't say love others and 340 00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:00,480 Speaker 1: try to love yourself less. It doesn't say love others 341 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:05,480 Speaker 1: but don't love yourself. It says love others like you 342 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:11,119 Speaker 1: love yourself, knowing you're already You're already love yourself. So 343 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:15,359 Speaker 1: if you could pour into others that same amount, to 344 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 1: that level, you could pour into others and love others 345 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: at the same level that you love yourself. If you 346 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 1: could do that, you're gonna get the promised peace and hope, 347 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:34,280 Speaker 1: enjoy the fruits of that love. That's what the Bible promises, 348 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,240 Speaker 1: and so emily through all this. That's a long way 349 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 1: to say. If you could pour into others as you 350 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:52,480 Speaker 1: pour into yourself, if you could do it that hard, reckless, total, 351 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:57,359 Speaker 1: reckless abandonment, then you're gonna be in a good place. 352 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:08,520 Speaker 1: Let's take a break. Fear It Back podcast brought to 353 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,960 Speaker 1: you all today by man Scaped. 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And when you're not struggling 389 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:03,080 Speaker 1: currently and you're at your best, you could do great things. 390 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,000 Speaker 1: But we all know that life is full of struggle, 391 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,520 Speaker 1: and when you do sometimes you can get bogged down 392 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,000 Speaker 1: and feel overwhelmed and you feel like you're not showing 393 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,440 Speaker 1: up the life in a way that you want to. Now, 394 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 1: working with a therapist could help you understand these things 395 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,600 Speaker 1: help you breathe a little bit easier, because when you 396 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,560 Speaker 1: feel empowered, you feel like you're better prepared to take 397 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,359 Speaker 1: on everything that life throws at you. 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If you have a question for me, 448 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,800 Speaker 1: email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and we will 449 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,440 Speaker 1: put it in the queue. No notes. I'm just going 450 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:19,399 Speaker 1: just off the top of my head whatever I feel, 451 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna go with this one right here, Faith 452 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,679 Speaker 1: Leadership and Past. Hey Granger, my name is Michael, I 453 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,400 Speaker 1: met you a few times at your shows. I'm twenty 454 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,760 Speaker 1: four years old. I've experienced a lot of trauma in 455 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:35,040 Speaker 1: my past. I moved out when I was sixteen. I 456 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 1: now have a corporate job that oversees twenty eight hundred employees. 457 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:42,560 Speaker 1: I am wanting to grow my leadership and faith. How 458 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,480 Speaker 1: do I overcome my past so that I can grow 459 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:49,440 Speaker 1: my faith and leadership. During the past year, I've lost 460 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 1: over one hundred pounds and found working out helps me 461 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 1: focus on what I do. Also, do you recommend any 462 00:28:55,240 --> 00:29:01,480 Speaker 1: books about faith and leadership? Okay, so faith and leadership 463 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:05,960 Speaker 1: you have? You have, Michael, You've connected those two words. 464 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,560 Speaker 1: Every time you said it. Every time you said faith, 465 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,920 Speaker 1: you also said leadership. Every time you said leadership, you 466 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:15,360 Speaker 1: also said faith. So you put those two together. Thanks 467 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,480 Speaker 1: for emailing, brother and dude. First of all, let's just 468 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:24,160 Speaker 1: say kudos to you. Congrats losing over one hundred pounds. 469 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 1: That takes tremendous discipline. And and then your your oversight 470 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:37,800 Speaker 1: of twenty eight hundred employees is really good. It's very respectable, 471 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:43,080 Speaker 1: and so in the corporate world, I would say it 472 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:47,680 Speaker 1: sounds like you're doing really well. Here's what I want 473 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,640 Speaker 1: to dig on you a little bit, you know, man, 474 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,520 Speaker 1: You know y'all know I'm gonna dig. You know I'm 475 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 1: gonna dig. So when I sit here and talk about 476 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 1: the Bible, faith, the Lord Jesus, I want to talk 477 00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:09,000 Speaker 1: about this stuff what the Bible says. Outside of my opinion. 478 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:11,600 Speaker 1: I'm not going to give you my opinion right here. 479 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,200 Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you what the Bible says. The 480 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:19,360 Speaker 1: Bible says, if we read it in its entirety, it 481 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:25,480 Speaker 1: is it is. It is completely undisputed what it says. 482 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:30,360 Speaker 1: And it says that we are on an airplane that 483 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:36,520 Speaker 1: is going down. This plane that we're on, all of 484 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 1: us is crashing. We are barreling towards the earth. Now, 485 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:52,560 Speaker 1: our hope lies within the parachute. The parachute is the 486 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 1: Gospel of Jesus. We are saved by grace through faith. 487 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:01,680 Speaker 1: Saved what do what do you think that word means? Saved? 488 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:11,040 Speaker 1: Like saved from embarrassment, saved from emotional distress. No, saved 489 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 1: from the airplane that is going down to crash into 490 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:18,200 Speaker 1: a ball of flames. That's what it says, not the 491 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 1: airplane part. But you're tracking with me, right, So the 492 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 1: Gospel of Jesus is the parachute, and so so me 493 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,560 Speaker 1: on this podcast as I'm reading through the Bible and 494 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:32,360 Speaker 1: you guys ask your questions. I'm trying desperately, first of all, 495 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,280 Speaker 1: to tell you this is not my opinion. I'm just 496 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,280 Speaker 1: the messenger here. I didn't write the letter, I'm just 497 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:42,200 Speaker 1: delivering it. It says the weird going down in a 498 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:46,800 Speaker 1: ball of flames. Take this parachute and put it on you, 499 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 1: and strap it tight. Pull these armstraps down. Make sure 500 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:54,120 Speaker 1: you're sensed. Listen to me. There's all this air going 501 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 1: through the cabin and the and there's there's rattling, and 502 00:31:57,520 --> 00:31:59,560 Speaker 1: you know that the plane is shaking and it's going 503 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,479 Speaker 1: through the and it's dark and we're yelling, and I'm 504 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:07,080 Speaker 1: trying to get across to you. Look, grab this strap, 505 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:08,560 Speaker 1: make sure this is tight. And then look at this 506 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:10,680 Speaker 1: armpit and make sure this pool. When it's time to go, 507 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,200 Speaker 1: when it's time to jump, you're gonna need to know 508 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,520 Speaker 1: where this switch is. And when you pull this switch, 509 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 1: that's your parachute that is going to keep you from 510 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:24,240 Speaker 1: crashing and burning and dying. Right. This is an analogy 511 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:28,120 Speaker 1: of what the Bible essentially is saying, And so I 512 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,240 Speaker 1: say this stuff and I come back on the podcast 513 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,720 Speaker 1: and then Michael love you, Bro, I love you man. 514 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:39,840 Speaker 1: But then you say equivalent to you say, hey man, 515 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:45,200 Speaker 1: so this uh parachute thing's cool? Also, will you help 516 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,680 Speaker 1: me fly the plane? Help me learn how to fly 517 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:53,400 Speaker 1: this plane. That's that's the equivalent of you saying, can 518 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,800 Speaker 1: you show me more about faith in leadership? Because I 519 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 1: really want to grow those two things, like at an 520 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,880 Speaker 1: equal level. It's kind of what you're insinuating here. I 521 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,360 Speaker 1: want to learn. I want to learn get any books 522 00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:08,080 Speaker 1: about faith and leadership because those are two things that 523 00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:11,640 Speaker 1: are really important to me. It's the equivalent of you saying, 524 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:15,120 Speaker 1: hey man, can you show me more about this parachute 525 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,680 Speaker 1: thing and how to fly a plane? Because I'm interested 526 00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:19,840 Speaker 1: in getting my pilot's license and I think I might 527 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,800 Speaker 1: be a commercial pilot one day. I's think it's something 528 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,640 Speaker 1: I'm kind of interested in. And now that we're on 529 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,360 Speaker 1: a plane, I think it'd be cool for us to 530 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 1: maybe go up in the cot pick and you just 531 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,320 Speaker 1: show me a couple of buttons that you've experienced in 532 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,320 Speaker 1: your life and we'll just see And I'm like, Bro, 533 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:42,160 Speaker 1: this plane's going down. Are you tracking with me? If 534 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:46,120 Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with the leadershow Leadership is very important, right, 535 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:50,800 Speaker 1: it's very important. You know, flying a plane's important. But 536 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 1: if you're going to put it in the same context 537 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:57,400 Speaker 1: of the the plane that is going down, that is unfliable, 538 00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:00,120 Speaker 1: and you're going to say that, that is going to 539 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,520 Speaker 1: to be equivalent to learning how to put on a parachute. 540 00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:05,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, dude, take those two words that you 541 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:10,560 Speaker 1: constantly put together and separate them, and I want you 542 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:14,880 Speaker 1: to say, faith, this is my parachute. I have to 543 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 1: learn this. I have to know that my straps are 544 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,160 Speaker 1: on tight. I have to continue to work it out. 545 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,680 Speaker 1: I have to continue to test it. I've got to 546 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,080 Speaker 1: keep pulling these things. I got to go up one 547 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,680 Speaker 1: more time and make sure I've got that little that handle. 548 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:31,759 Speaker 1: I got to make sure for the tenth time I've 549 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:35,479 Speaker 1: got a good grip on it. I got to work 550 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:42,319 Speaker 1: this stuff out, keep it fresh. Okay, please please hear me. 551 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,200 Speaker 1: Hear what I'm trying to say. Nothing else I could 552 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:50,680 Speaker 1: tell you matters. Dude. You're overseeing twenty eight hundred employees. 553 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,120 Speaker 1: That's awesome. You're doing really good. You lost over one 554 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:55,840 Speaker 1: hundred pounds. You know how hard it is to do that. 555 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,399 Speaker 1: You know how many people can say that you've got 556 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:08,040 Speaker 1: incredible self discipline. You're incredibly motivated. Now, if you want 557 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,600 Speaker 1: to go back to past email and you want to 558 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:17,360 Speaker 1: talk about servant leadership separate from faith. But if you 559 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 1: want to take that and pull it apart and say, 560 00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:26,279 Speaker 1: pour into others, pour into those under you don't act 561 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:30,839 Speaker 1: better than them. Find that one guy, that one guy 562 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:35,800 Speaker 1: that's just has to has to be on the toilet duty. 563 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,800 Speaker 1: You know, he's the guy that cleans the toilets. Nobody 564 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:41,200 Speaker 1: really talks to him. He doesn't even speak English. So well, 565 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:45,640 Speaker 1: find that guy, learn his name, take him to lunch 566 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,839 Speaker 1: one day, pour into him, find out, find out about 567 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,080 Speaker 1: his mama, what does she do, where does she live, 568 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:56,440 Speaker 1: Where did he grow up? You got twenty eight hundred employees, 569 00:35:56,760 --> 00:36:00,400 Speaker 1: but you pour into one like that, things are gonna change. 570 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:05,520 Speaker 1: You pour into one guy, learn his name, and then 571 00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,680 Speaker 1: find another one. Not the guys that are gonna help 572 00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:13,600 Speaker 1: you to continue to climb the corporate ladder. Those guys 573 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,920 Speaker 1: are fine, but they need to be treated equally as 574 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:19,000 Speaker 1: the guy that works the toilets. You truly find that 575 00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,080 Speaker 1: and they see you, and you don't do it in 576 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,560 Speaker 1: a way that's showy. You don't do it in a 577 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,400 Speaker 1: way that you hope that everyone notices, so that they 578 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,680 Speaker 1: think you're just a really humble guy. You do it 579 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,279 Speaker 1: in a way that even when no one's looking, it 580 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,960 Speaker 1: doesn't matter to you. They're gonna get wind of that. 581 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,440 Speaker 1: You're twenty eight hundred. Are gonna be your army, and 582 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,000 Speaker 1: they will die for you, and they will go into 583 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,080 Speaker 1: war with you. They will go into battle with you. 584 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:45,759 Speaker 1: They will stand beside you, and you will stand beside them, 585 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:52,600 Speaker 1: and they'll know you're going in with the same sword. Okay, 586 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:57,200 Speaker 1: there was a lot of info, Michael, And if I 587 00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:03,239 Speaker 1: could keep going unless I have to stop myself, something gone. 588 00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 1: This next one says finding happiness and work and relationships. Hey, 589 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:10,080 Speaker 1: mister Grangram twenty six found this. I find that it's 590 00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:13,360 Speaker 1: hard to find happiness in my job and within my 591 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:18,000 Speaker 1: personal relationships, whether they be friendships or intimate ones. I'm 592 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,719 Speaker 1: in the South Dakota Guard and even that seems to 593 00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:23,640 Speaker 1: be not enough to make me happy anymore. I guess 594 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,360 Speaker 1: my question is how do I find my own happiness? 595 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,680 Speaker 1: Because I've tried what it seems like everything I've tried 596 00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:32,879 Speaker 1: doing things I thought I enjoyed, like hunting, fishing, work 597 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:36,000 Speaker 1: in my truck, shooting. I love your podcast, listen to 598 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:42,759 Speaker 1: it every day. It doesn't say you don't see your 599 00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,600 Speaker 1: name except in the email says Nelson. I'll call you Nelson. 600 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:52,040 Speaker 1: It was crazy? What's crazy about your question? Nelson? I 601 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:57,080 Speaker 1: host this radio show after midnight, and occasionally for after midnight, 602 00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:00,600 Speaker 1: I will go to this podcast email and I'll pick 603 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,719 Speaker 1: one out of the inbox and read it on the 604 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,960 Speaker 1: air on after midnight. And I read yours about two 605 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:13,719 Speaker 1: weeks ago, and I presented the idea to all the listeners. 606 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:21,040 Speaker 1: But this guy is looking for joy everywhere hobbies, work, career, relationships, 607 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:25,920 Speaker 1: and he cannot find it. Is joy something that can 608 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:29,080 Speaker 1: be found? In fact, I pointed out that I think 609 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:33,959 Speaker 1: you have mistaken the word happiness for joy, joy being 610 00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:40,040 Speaker 1: more equivalent to long term happiness. Right, short term happiness 611 00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:43,640 Speaker 1: happens upon us. That's what I like to think. Happiness 612 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:47,239 Speaker 1: happens to us. Have you ever seen that meme that 613 00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:51,359 Speaker 1: says anyone that said they can't buy happiness has never 614 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:55,839 Speaker 1: written a four whiller. That's kind of true, Like there's 615 00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:57,920 Speaker 1: a little bit of truth to that. You want to 616 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:02,560 Speaker 1: find happiness, jump on a four wheeler and ride fifty 617 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 1: miles an hour in an open field in New Mexico, 618 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:08,719 Speaker 1: the sun on your shoulders, like, it's hard to be 619 00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:14,680 Speaker 1: sad in that kind of moment, right, But then you say, 620 00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:16,600 Speaker 1: you pull over and your phone is buzzing in your pocket. 621 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:21,640 Speaker 1: You pull it out. It's your brother. Mom's in the hospital. 622 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:28,439 Speaker 1: It's cancer. It's back. She doesn't have long come home soon. 623 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:37,600 Speaker 1: Suddenly riding that four wheeler, that sunshine, a good time, 624 00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:44,680 Speaker 1: feeling you're having gone gone. You don't read an email 625 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,799 Speaker 1: like that or text and then fire up the four 626 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:51,920 Speaker 1: wheeler and take another spin. Hey, what was that email? 627 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:56,480 Speaker 1: What was the text? God's mom, Cancer's back. Hey, I'm 628 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,520 Speaker 1: gonna do a couple of spins and go route and 629 00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:01,279 Speaker 1: I'll meet you guys back at the house. Sure is 630 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:08,960 Speaker 1: a great day. That's happiness. It comes and it goes. 631 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,920 Speaker 1: And that's why I think this email is mistaking the 632 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:18,479 Speaker 1: word happiness for joy, because joy is what coexists through 633 00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:22,000 Speaker 1: all of it. Joy is something that can't be taken away. 634 00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:27,080 Speaker 1: Joy is something that exists inside simultaneously with grief. It 635 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:31,360 Speaker 1: could coexist with the darkest grief. You could have joy 636 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:35,399 Speaker 1: that cannot be robbed from you, and the same way 637 00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:39,239 Speaker 1: that it can't be taken away. Joy can't be achieved 638 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:43,799 Speaker 1: or attained by earthly measures. You can't go buy a 639 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,839 Speaker 1: four wheeler or a bass boat and say I'm gonna 640 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:49,719 Speaker 1: find me some joy today. Baby, you're mistaking that word 641 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:54,520 Speaker 1: for fleeting happiness. So in this email, as you're going 642 00:40:54,560 --> 00:41:00,879 Speaker 1: through searching for relationships, or the South Dakota Guard or 643 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:06,680 Speaker 1: the hunting and fishing, that stuff is just fleeting happiness. 644 00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:09,440 Speaker 1: And to a certain level, if you get to a 645 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,880 Speaker 1: certain level of depression and grief and sadness, or or 646 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:23,400 Speaker 1: just not being content a certain level, there is nothing 647 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,680 Speaker 1: that can make you happy. You know what's crazy, y'all? 648 00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:37,920 Speaker 1: Think about about Elvis's daughter that just passed away. She 649 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:44,920 Speaker 1: had everything. She had the capability of buying everything, and 650 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,520 Speaker 1: not just with money, but she could also have the 651 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:51,520 Speaker 1: service of anything. She could have anyone serve on her 652 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:56,200 Speaker 1: for her to her of anything. She could buy an 653 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:59,400 Speaker 1: island or jets to go to the island, and food 654 00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:01,960 Speaker 1: and servants to feed her while she's coming off the 655 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:09,240 Speaker 1: jet in the island. And yet she wasn't happy, nothing 656 00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:15,080 Speaker 1: satisfied her. She actually died with an addiction to painkillers 657 00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:18,680 Speaker 1: or whatever else she was taken, whatever else pills she 658 00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:23,439 Speaker 1: was taking. Do we really think about that, like, does 659 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:29,480 Speaker 1: that really compute with us, that the money, that that service, 660 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:38,560 Speaker 1: that that unchecked power cannot satisfy a part of us 661 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:43,880 Speaker 1: that holds our joy, a part that the piece of 662 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:49,160 Speaker 1: contentment that gives us something everlasting. We ever think about that. 663 00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:53,560 Speaker 1: It's like we hear those stories and that they're is 664 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:55,960 Speaker 1: old as time. We hear them and they come and 665 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,960 Speaker 1: they go, and we continue to go, Yeah, great, but 666 00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:02,040 Speaker 1: I really want to get the money. I really want 667 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:05,279 Speaker 1: to get that next four wheeler. I really want to 668 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:07,840 Speaker 1: do this. You know, I gotta do more hunting trips, 669 00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:12,160 Speaker 1: more shooting, working on my truck, whatever's in this email, 670 00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:15,680 Speaker 1: trips things I need it. And then when you get it, 671 00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:17,600 Speaker 1: you go, now I need it someone to share it with. 672 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,080 Speaker 1: And then you go, now I got someone to share 673 00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:21,920 Speaker 1: it with. I need to make babies with the person 674 00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,759 Speaker 1: that I'm gonna share it with, because this is how 675 00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:29,320 Speaker 1: I'm just going to create manifest this happiness in my life. 676 00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:32,560 Speaker 1: And then you hit forty years old and you go, golly, 677 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:37,160 Speaker 1: I got I got nothing, I got no joy, I 678 00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:40,160 Speaker 1: got kids, I got wife, I got job, I got 679 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:43,440 Speaker 1: toys and nothing but burden and all these things I 680 00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:45,160 Speaker 1: thought I wanted, all this stuff that I thought was 681 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,879 Speaker 1: the American dream. It's gonna make me happy, and it's 682 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,000 Speaker 1: doing nothing. I used to think a new truck would 683 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,680 Speaker 1: do it. I used to think a new house surely 684 00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:55,560 Speaker 1: would do it. Maybe another baby, maybe a fourth baby, 685 00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,200 Speaker 1: is gonna do it. Maybe we need to just need 686 00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:00,239 Speaker 1: a vacation. How many y'all have heard that I just 687 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:03,920 Speaker 1: need a vacation? God, Leah, just once, Like man, I 688 00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,719 Speaker 1: cannot wait to get to Cayman Island. When I get there, 689 00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:09,200 Speaker 1: things are gonna be nice. I'm gonna sit there with 690 00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:12,000 Speaker 1: my corona and things are gonna be good. And then 691 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:15,240 Speaker 1: you get there and guess what traveled with you? That pain? 692 00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:20,839 Speaker 1: It found you, It camean And then you think, I 693 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:24,160 Speaker 1: just need a vacation from my vacation. And then you 694 00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:27,480 Speaker 1: get back home and there it is waiting for you, 695 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:31,640 Speaker 1: all those same problems. You thought you could buy your 696 00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,000 Speaker 1: way out of it, that you thought you could experience 697 00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,080 Speaker 1: your way out of it. You thought you could love 698 00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:38,880 Speaker 1: your way out of it with a spouse or a kid, 699 00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:45,480 Speaker 1: a friend, But you can't. That's a story as old 700 00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:49,760 Speaker 1: as time. Joy comes from a different place. It's different 701 00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:57,800 Speaker 1: than happiness. Joy is deeper, it's longer lasting. Joy comes 702 00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:03,959 Speaker 1: from peace and relateationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, 703 00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:08,880 Speaker 1: the provider of joy. He wrote it, He wrote the 704 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:15,920 Speaker 1: letter of joy. It's his, and he shares it willingly 705 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:22,360 Speaker 1: when we didn't deserve it. Can you imagine that he 706 00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:28,000 Speaker 1: shares I love overflowing with joy that he has with 707 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:33,960 Speaker 1: the Father, and he shares it out of abundance willingly 708 00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:42,480 Speaker 1: with an undeserving creature like me. And all I gotta 709 00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:48,360 Speaker 1: do is trust, believe in him, turn from my old ways, 710 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:52,879 Speaker 1: turn away and turn to him. Put my trust in him, 711 00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:57,080 Speaker 1: and he goes. You trust me. I'm gonna give you something. 712 00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:02,200 Speaker 1: It's just just just a get just a glimpse of 713 00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:05,680 Speaker 1: what's to come. This little piece of joy you're gonna 714 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,520 Speaker 1: have in your heart that no one can take away, 715 00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:11,560 Speaker 1: that no job could fulfill, that no pain or loss 716 00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:14,520 Speaker 1: or death of a loved one could steal from you. 717 00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:16,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a little piece of this, But 718 00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:21,160 Speaker 1: wait till you feel when it's completely fulfilled. Wait till 719 00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:23,680 Speaker 1: you feel when you're with me and you get all 720 00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:27,920 Speaker 1: of it. That's the promise. That's what he promises us. 721 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:32,520 Speaker 1: I don't have to testify. I don't have to convince you, 722 00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,120 Speaker 1: the listener. I don't have to convince you of this, 723 00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,279 Speaker 1: because all you gotta is look around and go yep. 724 00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,319 Speaker 1: He tried to find it. She tried to find it. 725 00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:42,239 Speaker 1: He tried to find it. He killed himself, he got rich, 726 00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:47,440 Speaker 1: never found it, he stayed poor, never found it. The 727 00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:51,440 Speaker 1: world will not give it to you, but it still 728 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:57,440 Speaker 1: holds that lie that it can. That's a trick. We 729 00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:01,520 Speaker 1: can't fall for it. Nelson, Your email spurred two weeks 730 00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:05,560 Speaker 1: of conversations with people on after Midnight on iHeartRadio. That 731 00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:09,759 Speaker 1: called in hundreds of times, and everyone had a new 732 00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:14,319 Speaker 1: definition of what joy is. Where does it come from? 733 00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:16,520 Speaker 1: How do you make it? How do you manifest it? 734 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,960 Speaker 1: And they all had a different idea. And I listen 735 00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:27,719 Speaker 1: and I'm moderated, and I commentated, But there's only one 736 00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:34,000 Speaker 1: place that really comes from. Love you guys, see you 737 00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:37,000 Speaker 1: next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. 738 00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,520 Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you. Guys, you could help me 739 00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:43,160 Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, 740 00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:46,640 Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and 741 00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:50,480 Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload 742 00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,000 Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that 743 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:57,040 Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at 744 00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,520 Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Yigi