Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hi.
Speaker 2: What's your name? Oh my god, yeah, I need it.
Speaker 1: I'm Lily Hire.
Speaker 2: Hey, Lily. What's up. How I'm Liles.
Speaker 1: Nice to meet you. Oh my gosh. Yeah. How's Are
Speaker 1: you excited for Christmas? Holiday?
Speaker 2: No? I no, I'm I'm not. I I'm not excited
Speaker 2: about them at all. I I viewed most holidays as
Speaker 2: interruptions to my life actually at this point, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't give it. Like New Year's I don't care. Christmas,
Speaker 2: I don't care. You know, I don't have I think
Speaker 2: it's for a few reasons. I mean, I don't have
Speaker 2: a real job, so I still I still, uh, I
Speaker 2: still have to work. I guess, yeah, I don't. I
Speaker 2: don't have like a kid, so I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1: Do you do you celebrate the passage of time? No?
Speaker 2: I try not to think about the passage of time,
Speaker 2: or I mean, I think about the passage of time
Speaker 2: a lot. I just don't. There's no reason for me
Speaker 2: to care about any of those holidays. I like the
Speaker 2: way that Christmas looks, and I like the way that
Speaker 2: Halloween looks, but I just I view them as interruptions,
Speaker 2: you know. I like, I like normal days and the
Speaker 2: holidays that kind of fuck them up. I know that
Speaker 2: sounds insane. I know I sound like a crazy person,
Speaker 2: but that's no, No.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's crazy at all. I think it's
Speaker 1: just you know, I think everyone has their like like
Speaker 1: opinion on it for sure, but I don't know for me.
Speaker 1: I'm just like I'm driving home right now, and like
Speaker 1: family stuff is weird, and I think it's weird for everyone.
Speaker 1: But as I get older, it's like, okay, I always
Speaker 1: just like I go home to family, and then I'm
Speaker 1: a year older and I'm like, oh cool, I care
Speaker 1: a little bit less about their opinion, and so it's
Speaker 1: like a nice little murker of like growth or lack
Speaker 1: of growth. And then I don't know, it's like a
Speaker 1: check in by the lights are pretty too, So I
Speaker 1: feel it.
Speaker 2: Why Why is family weird?
Speaker 1: So I am from like a very small town and
Speaker 1: like so I am twenty eighth and like there's just
Speaker 1: some like I'm trying to move internationally. I'm like bisexual.
Speaker 1: I've ben come out to like my parents yet, so
Speaker 1: it's kind of weird for that way. I've bes I
Speaker 1: have like a girl come over for Thanksgiving. It was
Speaker 1: like a situationship thing. But I didn't really have that
Speaker 1: conversation my parents yet. And then I like get home
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh man, I'm still not like strong
Speaker 1: enough to have this conversation. I guess that's like, like
Speaker 1: I guess that's like a part of it. So it's
Speaker 1: just like over time, it's like I don't know, it's
Speaker 1: just like little threads of that relationship and stuff. It's
Speaker 1: always like makes me feel weird. But they're also getting
Speaker 1: older and I have like nephews and shit now, so
Speaker 1: it's like I have to like show up for them
Speaker 1: because I love them, but it's also like a fear
Speaker 1: of lack of acceptance. But I don't really necessarily care,
Speaker 1: but I do.
Speaker 2: So so that every year you care a little less.
Speaker 1: I think so. But I haven't like pulled the trigger
Speaker 1: on like the action of it. Does that make sense?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But like it's not like like if they ever
Speaker 1: like asked me about it, then I'm like I wouldn't
Speaker 1: feel as weird, but it's just like hard to broach
Speaker 1: the conversation.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: But that's that's just one little like chunk of stuff.
Speaker 2: But mm hmm. Yeah, so how are you spending the holidays.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go visit parents and my brother and go
Speaker 1: through the nephews. And that's like another little aspect of
Speaker 1: it is he has He's only two years older than me,
Speaker 1: so he has like the house and the family and
Speaker 1: the wife and the white pick of sense. And I'm
Speaker 1: trying to like get out of the country and like travel,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, all over the place.
Speaker 2: Your nephew is two years older than you, that my
Speaker 2: brother's two.
Speaker 1: Years older than me. Okay, yes, okay, but he's like
Speaker 1: super accomplished, and I'm just like, oh, like I I
Speaker 1: have my accomplishments, but like I don't know, it's just
Speaker 1: like a weird like comparative thing. But I love them
Speaker 1: very much.
Speaker 2: Do you want the white picket fence life?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: But I think it makes things easier.
Speaker 2: In what in what way it makes things easier? Like
Speaker 2: what does it make easier?
Speaker 1: It's just like more like accepting I suppose, Okay, I
Speaker 1: guess do you what was that? No, I'm just driving.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, what was that cat that was me? Yelling? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm the cat you yeah?
Speaker 2: So hmm, okay, so you it's an easier life to
Speaker 2: explain to your family, is what you're saying.
Speaker 1: It's an easier life to explain them my family. And
Speaker 1: also I feel like the it's more mapped out, it's
Speaker 1: more linear, it's easier to do as opposed to like
Speaker 1: doing what we all individually want to do and have
Speaker 1: to explore and like jump into like the unknown, like
Speaker 1: that's what that's what we should be doing. But it's
Speaker 1: like scary and painful in a bunch of ways because
Speaker 1: we don't know what that's like, and fear is very
Speaker 1: uncomfortable when you're in it, and so there's like a
Speaker 1: part time it's like I wish I liked the white
Speaker 1: ticket fand situation, but I don't. So it's like on
Speaker 1: that jumping told of like moving forward.
Speaker 2: But so so what is jumping? What is jumping forward
Speaker 2: looking like for you these days?
Speaker 1: So about So I'm trying to, like I said, like
Speaker 1: get out of the country. I'm trying to do international teaching.
Speaker 1: I get like all of that, but it's like super expensive.
Speaker 1: So I'm like trying to like save up as much
Speaker 1: as I can and just like I don't know, like
Speaker 1: suck around and find out and see what happens, but
Speaker 1: it's also very scary because it's just like it's really
Speaker 1: me doing all of this and it's hard, and like
Speaker 1: financials are hard. I swear I had more to talk about.
Speaker 2: What do you mean? What what do you mean? You
Speaker 2: have a lot of stuff? What are you talking about?
Speaker 2: You have a lot of time.
Speaker 1: But there was like there were like so many like
Speaker 1: individual situations. I'm like and now I'm like, of course,
Speaker 1: it's like it's.
Speaker 2: Okay, So where where do you want to go to teach?
Speaker 1: So I went to Amsterdam back in October and it
Speaker 1: was so nice and like all the little coffee smoke
Speaker 1: shops and like I had truffles and it was just
Speaker 1: really it was it was a vibe. And there's a
Speaker 1: magic bookshops museum thing out there called the Writtman Museum
Speaker 1: or the Writtman Library, and it's full of like old
Speaker 1: magic books, so like King Solomon's like where he sealed
Speaker 1: all the demons into like the rings and stuff. All
Speaker 1: those books are on display and you can volunteer to
Speaker 1: like work there, and it was just really cool and
Speaker 1: I'm I don't know, it was like a good feeling.
Speaker 1: But Amsterdam's pool Morocco's on my list, Highland's on my list.
Speaker 2: Amsterdam's Amsterdam is one of my three favorite cities on
Speaker 2: the planet. Actually, Oh, it's.
Speaker 1: So fun and everyone's so nice and yeah, and it's
Speaker 1: like people party, but they're not like belligerent, like they
Speaker 1: know how to like I mean not. I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to generalize, because there were a couple like weirdo, like
Speaker 1: you know, uncomfy situations, but uh, for the most part of.
Speaker 2: It, dick okay, So you're trying to just kind of
Speaker 2: like run out abroad and do go on like little
Speaker 2: weird adventures, a.
Speaker 1: Weird little adventure. And then there's also like another part
Speaker 1: of this too is it's just like there's so much
Speaker 1: pressure because now I've been like saving, So I've been
Speaker 1: doing like sex works for the past like five years
Speaker 1: just for the fact of saving because like I'm a
Speaker 1: librarian like by like trade and like you don't really
Speaker 1: get paid a whole lot. So I've been doing that
Speaker 1: like on the side to just like try to get
Speaker 1: more money, and like it's been working, but now I'm
Speaker 1: just like okay, like I'm so tired of it. And
Speaker 1: there's such an underbelly of all of that, and like
Speaker 1: I'm pro sex work, like do your thing, but I
Speaker 1: feel like there's so much more to it, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: my like my future is kind of like tinging on
Speaker 1: all this to work out. And I'm like, if kind
Speaker 1: of this comes to pass and all of the work
Speaker 1: I've done will, I don't know, it's just like it'll
Speaker 1: it'll be heavier. But I know that's like an anxiety
Speaker 1: like weather situation. So I'm trying not to think about
Speaker 1: that and like stay positive.
Speaker 2: But like, yeah, yeah, I see here that you you
Speaker 2: texted me saying I'm five years into I'm five years
Speaker 2: into non digital sex work, and I am losing my
Speaker 2: mind the complexity of the human underbelly. What does that mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have so many stories. I have so many stories,
Speaker 1: but like like it's just some It's a whole wide
Speaker 1: range of clients. A lot of them are like middle age,
Speaker 1: divorced dads or like older men, and like there's been
Speaker 1: like really rather really like gross guys or like I
Speaker 1: don't know, like I'm very sensitive, I guess. And there's
Speaker 1: this one guy who had this like bigger house and
Speaker 1: like he would collect all of like people in attendo
Speaker 1: sixty four and all these devices and stuff, and he
Speaker 1: was super sweet, but he didn't have a date for
Speaker 1: like fifty years and he just like didn't know how
Speaker 1: to date or talk to women, and that was his
Speaker 1: thing and he was a sweetheart, and I'm just like
Speaker 1: that broke me. And then there's like other guys that
Speaker 1: are just like cheating on their wives and I don't know,
Speaker 1: or they're like or their daughters are the same age
Speaker 1: as me, and I'm like, this is weird. And I
Speaker 1: don't know, there's such a huge underbelly of it of
Speaker 1: just like there's so much that goes into it. I
Speaker 1: don't don't know.
Speaker 2: And you said, you've been doing that for five years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, since covid I was originally on. So I
Speaker 1: went to like a Christmas party and found out about
Speaker 1: like foot fetishes. It's like a very long story. And
Speaker 1: then I was like selling foot pictures. I was like
Speaker 1: read it and that was kind of fun, and then
Speaker 1: like I just like moved off of there. And yeah, so,
Speaker 1: like I said, it's a very long story.
Speaker 2: But and so we're I mean, were you able to
Speaker 2: save up what you needed to save up in those
Speaker 2: five years?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, so I I did I did enough
Speaker 1: and I set like emergency fund the side and all
Speaker 1: of that. But now that I'm like looking at I'm
Speaker 1: just like, okay, like everything needs to work out now,
Speaker 1: so I'm trying to pip it out of it, and
Speaker 1: so there's like an extra like heavy weight on it.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, well, what do.
Speaker 2: You mean everything needs to work out.
Speaker 1: Like for moving right, for taking that? Like I don't
Speaker 1: like what I'm trying to think of what I.
Speaker 2: Mean, like like what is working out? I mean like
Speaker 2: you like, are you trying to get a job, Like
Speaker 2: you're trying to get a job in one of these places.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And so I'm just like I have like
Speaker 1: job fair scheduled and stuff. But I feel like if
Speaker 1: things it's always like the what is it, prepare for
Speaker 1: the prepare for the worst, hope for the best sort
Speaker 1: of thing. Yeah. Yeah, So I'm like I wanted to
Speaker 1: work out, but then in the back of my head,
Speaker 1: I'm like if it doesn't, then like what was the
Speaker 1: point of all of this?
Speaker 2: What was the point of saying And it's not.
Speaker 1: Just and it's not just with yeah, like doing doing
Speaker 1: the sex work or saving up or you know, like
Speaker 1: all of the energy and research and all of it,
Speaker 1: and like, I don't know, that's like a point of anxiety.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm hmmm, what was the point of it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because like it's just really it's kind of like
Speaker 1: a relationship where you like, was it sun cost fallacy?
Speaker 1: Where you put so much of yourself into something and
Speaker 1: then for whatever reason if like it doesn't work out,
Speaker 1: then you're I don't know, it's just it's hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I don't know, man, life is the sun
Speaker 2: costs fallacy? I mean, what was the point of knowing?
Speaker 1: My theory with that is like you have to do something.
Speaker 1: What else are you going to do? Just you have
Speaker 1: to do something. You have to pick something to do,
Speaker 1: So I'm like I might as well see the world.
Speaker 1: And I don't know. And it's also like the sex
Speaker 1: work too, is just like I don't know, Like I
Speaker 1: grew up in a very like religious background and so
Speaker 1: it's just really especially now with like the over I
Speaker 1: think an oversaturation of sex work like throughout the Internet
Speaker 1: and in general because of COVID, like people really picked
Speaker 1: up on it. A lot of sex workers will complain
Speaker 1: about that because of how obersaturated it is. So it's
Speaker 1: just like I had a point.
Speaker 2: As I mean, it's a noble profession. I believe that.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, hell yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: So I don't think you it's not like you uh
Speaker 2: did I. I I genuinely think that doing sex work.
Speaker 2: I mean it's more noble of a way of making
Speaker 2: money than like like buying and selling cryptocurrency.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I agree. And it's like there's a part
Speaker 1: of it that's really fun, like really fun, and like
Speaker 1: I got a lot of like I grew a lot
Speaker 1: because of it.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: But it's also like a double edged thing. And yeah,
Speaker 1: because I've watched a couple of videos who before. It's
Speaker 1: just something that like the both sides that it doesn't
Speaker 1: you're talking about.
Speaker 2: So I don't know what was the point of anything.
Speaker 2: I mean, you you you uh you helped people, you
Speaker 2: uh saved money in an attempt to enrich your own life.
Speaker 2: You got to You're gonna get to attempt to travel
Speaker 2: and do these things. It sounds like there were points.
Speaker 2: It sounds like it has not been a completely vapid
Speaker 2: experience for you.
Speaker 1: No, it's just I don't know where to put it at,
Speaker 1: you know, and also where to put the experience and
Speaker 1: like it unlocked like a whole new part of myself
Speaker 1: and also unlock a whole new understanding of like other
Speaker 1: people and the debating and all of it. So it's
Speaker 1: just about like processing and like integrating, you know.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Okay, So what what if things were like what what's
Speaker 2: the vision for things working out perfectly? Like if you
Speaker 2: wave your magic wand and everything works out perfectly? How's
Speaker 2: that look? Long?
Speaker 1: Okay, so long, long, long term goal I want to
Speaker 1: have And I feel like this. I talk a lot
Speaker 1: about this too different people, so it might be a
Speaker 1: little identifying, but whatever. But like the end then goal
Speaker 1: is I want to have a house with a little
Speaker 1: covered porch like a little cabin, and it's a wrap
Speaker 1: around covered porch, and then the front there is a
Speaker 1: little tiny lake that freezes over in the winter, and
Speaker 1: there's a little fire pit and you can go swimming
Speaker 1: in the lake when it's warm outside. And then I
Speaker 1: want to have a rocking chair in the covered porch,
Speaker 1: and I want to have a cat in my lap
Speaker 1: and a cup of tea, and inside I have an
Speaker 1: Alaskan king bed and refrigerator which have like all the
Speaker 1: different types of ice in it, like the moon shades
Speaker 1: ice and the ones with the holes in it and
Speaker 1: the crushed ice, and I want to have like a
Speaker 1: little bit of wood so I can go like hiking
Speaker 1: in and whatnot. And I want to be a little
Speaker 1: old lady in my roccing chair with my cat and
Speaker 1: my tea fire blazing. You can hear the ice crackle,
Speaker 1: the snow for snowfall just falls and then I have
Speaker 1: a brain aneurism and that's it. Oh and then you
Speaker 1: die and so yeah, so I'm sorry. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: like work backwards, all right.
Speaker 2: You want to make it? Yeah, you want to You
Speaker 2: want to make it to eighty and die.
Speaker 1: It depends on the state in my body, right, and
Speaker 1: then like what's going on because rather eighty is very
Speaker 1: like I met very young eighty year olds, and I
Speaker 1: met very like old eighty year olds or seventy year olds, right,
Speaker 1: so it's like it depends on like how things work out.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, okay, I need Like a house on
Speaker 1: a lake is very expensive, right, like unless you're an
Speaker 1: Airbnb or like generational wealth or something like, it's really
Speaker 1: hard to come by. But I'm like, does it have
Speaker 1: to be in the States? Can it be someplace else?
Speaker 3: Does it?
Speaker 1: Can it be in cannabis? So I'm trying to go
Speaker 1: like lake hopping and like see what's up. I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's like the ultimate goal. But then there's like a
Speaker 1: bunch of stuff in between.
Speaker 2: Okay, you want to exist next to a lake. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think we can do that. I think it's an
Speaker 2: achievable goal for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but not like a huge lake, but like enough
Speaker 1: that I can like swim in it, but not super
Speaker 1: big that it has made you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: like not like finger lake lakes.
Speaker 2: What's your name is, Lily? Yeah, I mean you can
Speaker 2: go to a lake. You can go sit by a
Speaker 2: lake right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like there's no lakes where I live, Like
Speaker 1: you have to drive to go to a lake. I
Speaker 1: need to live, like I need a lake community.
Speaker 2: Okay you don't, Yeah, I mean you can just go
Speaker 2: to a lake. You don't, yeh You I think hard? No,
Speaker 2: it's not hard. I feel like you're Yeah, what you
Speaker 2: just described is not. I mean you want like own it.
Speaker 2: I guess you're talking about like you want to own
Speaker 2: a lake house. But uh, I mean here's the thing.
Speaker 2: Whether you own a lake house or whether you own
Speaker 2: a lake house or you go to a lake, you're
Speaker 2: still fucking at the lake.
Speaker 1: Yeah, been so expensive, That's what I'm saying. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: what do you what do I have to do? What's
Speaker 1: going on? And then there's so much more stuff in
Speaker 1: between that you know, and there's so many lakes out there.
Speaker 1: Also lighthouses. That's another one. I want to have a
Speaker 1: lake and lighthouse hopping.
Speaker 2: Have you ever been to a lighthouse?
Speaker 1: I've been to many lighthouses. And also I think I
Speaker 1: was a sailor in a past life because every time
Speaker 1: I go to lighthouse and it's like rocky shores and
Speaker 1: it's like crashing up. I just fucking cry like a
Speaker 1: little baby, and I think I die at sea.
Speaker 2: When are you gonna go on your journey to wherever
Speaker 2: you're going?
Speaker 1: I don't know. So I'm doing some school stuff and
Speaker 1: I have to quit my job because it's unpaid by
Speaker 1: teaching student teaching for three months, which is bullshit, and
Speaker 1: then I don't know. I have to figure figure it
Speaker 1: out so hopefully by spring. But if that doesn't work,
Speaker 1: then I'm probably gonna go West or something like Pacific
Speaker 1: Northwest is really cool but also very expensive, so I
Speaker 1: don't know, what's.
Speaker 2: Your what's your brother think about your life when you
Speaker 2: talk to him and you're like, oh, you have a
Speaker 2: this and that and the other thing. I'm doing this.
Speaker 1: I I don't know if I've ever like talked to
Speaker 1: him about like a little bit of the jealousy aspects
Speaker 1: of it. But he's pretty supportive, you know. He's like
Speaker 1: my older brothers, so we're pretty tight. Like I know
Speaker 1: you're tight with your sister, So it's kind of like similar, right,
Speaker 1: that's nice because you like, yeah, yeah, you're like a
Speaker 1: little kid and like you kind of hate each other.
Speaker 1: And he was like my first bully and was like
Speaker 1: the Barby's head is off my doll and like throw
Speaker 1: them on the roof and like she'd me with this
Speaker 1: beabie gun. But then I would like beat him up
Speaker 1: when you want to PlayStation, you know. And then it's
Speaker 1: like you get older and things change, but you still
Speaker 1: have that like deep connection. And I came out to
Speaker 1: him and he was just like that just makes you cooler,
Speaker 1: and he's like when can I meet her? And I'm
Speaker 1: you know, so it's it's it's nice that way. So
Speaker 1: do you have pretty supportive No, I have like a
Speaker 1: situation thing. But man, women are hard, like honestly and
Speaker 1: like a little scary. You know. Sure it's like a
Speaker 1: little intimate dating, but yeah, and also too, it's like
Speaker 1: with everything going on, I'm like, I just don't have
Speaker 1: Like I got on Hinge and went on a couple
Speaker 1: of dates with girls, and there was one girl I
Speaker 1: really liked, but like, I just I just don't have
Speaker 1: the energy your time. And also if I'm like trying
Speaker 1: to move in six months or whatever, it's not very fair.
Speaker 2: So I don't know, Well, Lily, I wish you good
Speaker 2: luck on your journeys. I think thank you. I don't
Speaker 2: know what I think I wish. I don't know whether
Speaker 2: I wish I had something motivational. I wish I had
Speaker 2: something motivational to say to you, But.
Speaker 1: I I don't even know if there's a like a problem.
Speaker 1: I'm just afraid all the time, but like not like
Speaker 1: I'm just internalizing it and I'm chill about it. But
Speaker 1: then like if I think about it too much, I
Speaker 1: just like panic. But we're five.
Speaker 2: I think you can get to a lake. I think
Speaker 2: we can do that for you.
Speaker 1: I think so too. I'm just like, where, you know,
Speaker 1: there's so many of them.
Speaker 2: Lily, is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 1: There's a good quote that I read in a book
Speaker 1: that I completely forgot, and it's this is also out
Speaker 1: of this also this is also adding myself a little bit.
Speaker 1: But I think it was like, don't slow dance with
Speaker 1: your skeletons. And I just really fuck with that.
Speaker 2: What don't slow dance with your skeleton? What does that mean?
Speaker 1: Don't slow dance with your skeleton? So like all the
Speaker 1: past stuff, dance with it, but don't hold it that tightly,
Speaker 1: don't like stick and ruminate on it. Let it go
Speaker 1: in a salsa. Do a little salsa. Don't slow dance.
Speaker 2: Okay, I like that. I'll keep that in mind. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: thank you, litt have a good rest of your life.
Speaker 2: I'm rooting for you. I think you'll I think you'll
Speaker 2: find your lake.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And by the way, I'm going to see you
Speaker 1: on the tour in.
Speaker 2: Then try Oh cool?
Speaker 1: Well where yep, I'm trying to go for Pittsburgh.
Speaker 2: Okay, sick, Okay, I'll be there.
Speaker 1: Yeah cool. I'll introduce myself if you. I don't know
Speaker 1: when tickets get released, but I.
Speaker 2: Actually don't really know either, but sometime in the next
Speaker 2: few months. But but yes, no, if you if you're like, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm the lady who wanted to who did sex work
Speaker 2: and wanted to go to a lake and other other things,
Speaker 2: other things, I will one hundred percent remember. Cool, awesome,
Speaker 2: Thank you, Lily. I'll see around the universe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, take care you too.
Speaker 2: I kind of want to go to a lake. A
Speaker 2: lake sounds nice.
Speaker 5: From Umi?
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hi? What is your name?
Speaker 3: My name is Yumi.
Speaker 2: Where did you get the name Umi from?
Speaker 3: I honestly don't know. Since I was a kid, I
Speaker 3: always liked liked it. My actual name starts with the why.
Speaker 1: So you me.
Speaker 2: Uh you me yum yumie. What's going on with you? Yumi?
Speaker 2: How's life? How's how how are you? How is your existence?
Speaker 2: What's going on? What you want to talk about?
Speaker 1: Well, it's going good.
Speaker 3: I just got to my apartment. I have a little
Speaker 3: cat named Share and she's super cool. Sorry, I'm like
Speaker 3: super nervous, so I'm a little bit hyper ventilating, and well,
Speaker 3: I had a really rough year. I did text in
Speaker 3: quite a few things, but yeah, it was kind of rough.
Speaker 3: Just now barely getting on my feet and stuff, went
Speaker 3: through a crazy breakup and then now I'm just at
Speaker 3: my new apartment after leaving that relationship and never thought
Speaker 3: I would have my own apartment, and now I do
Speaker 3: in the city.
Speaker 4: It's pretty cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, why why was Why was things rough? What
Speaker 2: was bad? It's for you to talk about.
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, I mean whatever. I'm down to talk about whatever.
Speaker 3: Uh So, Yeah, I mean I left that relationship because
Speaker 3: there was.
Speaker 4: Like some abuse going on.
Speaker 3: I have a daughter with him and she's poor, and yeah,
Speaker 3: it's just not a great relationship. I actually, through reading,
Speaker 3: learned that he's the cobt narcissist and so that was
Speaker 3: kind of rough, which I'm still coming to terms with,
Speaker 3: just the fact that there's a lot of these people
Speaker 3: out there that are really bad underneath.
Speaker 2: Well, now, what is it what makes somebody a covert narcissist.
Speaker 3: Well, like an overt narcissist is usually a person that
Speaker 3: they like outwardly are self centered, you know, self interested,
Speaker 3: like screw over others to get ahead, and a covert
Speaker 3: doesn't do that to your face. They do that over time. So,
Speaker 3: like once it got to the point where I was
Speaker 3: doing really good in my career and I think that's
Speaker 3: when he turned and he like started to be like
Speaker 3: a super different person to me. And what it's called
Speaker 3: like the discard phase, where like they start to like
Speaker 3: kind of discard you, but you don't know it because
Speaker 3: it's covert.
Speaker 2: Why DoD, Why was what was it about you doing
Speaker 2: well in your career that you believe made him made
Speaker 2: him want to discard you.
Speaker 3: I think that he was intimidated by it. I think
Speaker 3: since the beginning of the relationship, he was always at
Speaker 3: a better position than I was, and I don't know,
Speaker 3: I think it intimidated him. It made him feel less
Speaker 3: than I work at a law firm that's like very
Speaker 3: well known in the area, and so I think that
Speaker 3: some of that kind of I don't know, I think
Speaker 3: that me being in this good position just maybe intimidated
Speaker 3: him to where he felt threatened.
Speaker 4: Things like that.
Speaker 3: And I don't know. I mean, you know, naurcistists really
Speaker 3: loved power too, so I think that was part of it,
Speaker 3: is where like he felt that he didn't have as
Speaker 3: much power. I was doing well now, making good money
Speaker 3: and so yeah.
Speaker 2: Hmm, okay, and uh, you you have a kid with him?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was just gonna say I'm literally currently still
Speaker 3: going through Well, it's not custody anymore, it's just child
Speaker 3: support stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: He uh.
Speaker 3: He's screwed me over in legal hariots too, because I
Speaker 3: can't afford an attorney, and so he, with his attorney
Speaker 3: has screwed me over with you know, stuff like child support.
Speaker 3: And so right now I'm still trying to fight against
Speaker 3: that because of the fact that I'm paying him child
Speaker 3: support because he screwed me over. He ent his attorney
Speaker 3: light to the judge to get.
Speaker 4: Out of child support.
Speaker 2: So where is your kid now?
Speaker 3: She's with him. We do half and half join custody,
Speaker 3: which is another thing. He baptized her without me knowing,
Speaker 3: which is crazy. Oh yeah, like, and that's a thing
Speaker 3: that goes against the joint custody. But in legal matters,
Speaker 3: I mean, how are you gonna really you can't take
Speaker 3: back a baptism or anything, which I'm not against at all,
Speaker 3: but the fact that it was hidden is really messed up.
Speaker 2: You know. So, do you guys at least live in
Speaker 2: the same city?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: We dom h.
Speaker 2: So you had a kid with this guy, I guess
Speaker 2: I'm I'm very interested. I suppose in like, and because
Speaker 2: it's a fearful thought, and I'm sorry that this happens
Speaker 2: to you. It's a fearful thought that you like kind
Speaker 2: of like trust someone enough to do really big, serious
Speaker 2: life things with them. And I assume you, you know,
Speaker 2: you know, don't do those things like foolishly or quickly
Speaker 2: you do those things. Is even even even if you
Speaker 2: do them over time, even if you do everything right,
Speaker 2: and you you do everything, what would what's the word
Speaker 2: cautiously cautiously optimistically? You could still wind up being like,
Speaker 2: what the fuck? I never I don't think I knew
Speaker 2: this person? Is that? What is that? What you feel
Speaker 2: like happened to you? Or did you feel like there
Speaker 2: you were ignoring like signs of some kind?
Speaker 3: You know, I don't think it was signs per se,
Speaker 3: because at the beginning it was very much like love bombing,
Speaker 3: and that's part of the narcissistic personality to get into
Speaker 3: relationships and things like that, the love.
Speaker 1: Of bombing phase.
Speaker 3: And then just over time I started to realize like
Speaker 3: I'm not being given the you know, love and things
Speaker 3: like that of you know, reallyationship. And then closer to
Speaker 3: the end, it was just kind of in my face,
Speaker 3: where like he just didn't care about my time. He
Speaker 3: thought his own stuff was much more important than me,
Speaker 3: you know, like even when I was giving birth, like
Speaker 3: it was about him. And you know, usually when you
Speaker 3: are your significant others giving birth, you know you want
Speaker 3: to comfort them, you know, pat them, things like that,
Speaker 3: and that just doesn't didn't happen. And so over time
Speaker 3: and then I'm now in a new relationship where I
Speaker 3: do see the actual like love and affection that does
Speaker 3: go into a relationship that just wasn't there before. But
Speaker 3: it is pretty scary because it's like you don't really
Speaker 3: see it because at the beginning and there, it's like
Speaker 3: it's like a lot of love bombing. So it's like,
Speaker 3: do you think that it's going to be that way,
Speaker 3: you know, for years and years to come. But then,
Speaker 3: like for my example, it just felt like at a
Speaker 3: point he just didn't care, you know, to to even
Speaker 3: pretend to be a good partner.
Speaker 2: How long were you with him?
Speaker 4: For?
Speaker 2: Four years? Said? Yeah, I'm sorry, the kid is four
Speaker 2: years old? How long were you with the guy?
Speaker 4: Three years?
Speaker 3: So last year December was when everything started to hit
Speaker 3: the fan. Yeah, it just it went really it went
Speaker 3: downhill pretty quickly. But it all started kind of like
Speaker 3: a few years ago in July. I you know, this
Speaker 3: might be very sensitive, but like I went through an
Speaker 3: abortion and so like he just wasn't there and when
Speaker 3: we talked about it, it just really came down to
Speaker 3: his Catholic guilt about it all, and so he like
Speaker 3: pushed me away as.
Speaker 1: Well because of it.
Speaker 3: So, you know, it just over time, just a lot
Speaker 3: of little things here and there where it's like, you know,
Speaker 3: you don't do those kinds of things to the person
Speaker 3: that you love. And now he's in a new relationship
Speaker 3: with someone that's my girl. And it's because I know
Speaker 3: this because apparently my current boyfriend was in a band
Speaker 3: with her and she was a lead singer. And now
Speaker 3: my current boyfriend had screwed his current girlfriend, which is crazy.
Speaker 2: Huh, where'd you meet your current boyfriend?
Speaker 4: On field? Actually?
Speaker 2: Field? What's going on? On Field?
Speaker 3: It's actually I mean, if you want well, when I
Speaker 3: was looking, I was never intending to be in a relationship,
Speaker 3: and actually, like we talked, I was talking to him
Speaker 3: for months and months until I decided to be in
Speaker 3: a relationship with him. And I mean, if you want
Speaker 3: sex and don't on a relationship, get on field.
Speaker 2: I gotta imagine the people. Yeah, but I gotta imagine
Speaker 2: the like I catta imagine. If you're a woman on
Speaker 2: that website, it's like you have eight hundred trillion messages,
Speaker 2: and if you're a guy, it's probably not. I don't
Speaker 2: I gotta imagine that's it's skewed.
Speaker 5: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 3: Yeah it is, from what I've heard on his end
Speaker 3: of it. Yeah, for me, it was to a point
Speaker 3: kind of overwhelming. And I don't want to sound kind
Speaker 3: of like, I don't know, like a conceited or anything,
Speaker 3: but I mean for a woman, it's pretty overwhelming. The
Speaker 3: dating apps, because I was on quite a few actually
Speaker 3: before I decided to get off of them.
Speaker 2: Was which one was the best? Was it Field?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: To be honest, I think Field, And I think I
Speaker 3: was on Bumble too, but yeah, Tinder was a lot
Speaker 3: of like flaky men actually, and then I never got
Speaker 3: on the Hinge either.
Speaker 2: Mm hm. So I see of your own apartment now,
Speaker 2: it sounds like life is good. So it sounds like
Speaker 2: life is better for you. It sounds like things are good.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 3: I'm, you know, thankfully there's some break between school, but
Speaker 3: I'm also going to school, and you know last semester.
Speaker 3: This semester, I had a I had my first like
Speaker 3: real panic attack, and I think it had to do
Speaker 3: a lot with adderall, which is why I stopped taking it.
Speaker 2: Yeah what what about like you're just doing doing You're
Speaker 2: doing too much adderall?
Speaker 4: Well I took.
Speaker 3: I think it was it was like an anxiety panic
Speaker 3: attack where it was kind of broad on because I
Speaker 3: smoked some weed. But earlier that day I had taken
Speaker 3: like some adderall because I'm studying, and so I think
Speaker 3: I had a moment of just like panic.
Speaker 1: Which like was the weed really like brought it out?
Speaker 4: I think because it's just I.
Speaker 3: Was already on edge, and I think the weed, which
Speaker 3: I don't usually like, I don't usually get really high,
Speaker 3: but for some reason this hit like really messed with
Speaker 3: me and my boyfriend had to pick me up and
Speaker 3: drive to take me to the hospital.
Speaker 4: It is really scary.
Speaker 2: Yeah wait, you combined weed weed in adderall. I do Yeah,
Speaker 2: I do that all the time. And it's and it's
Speaker 2: I do it all the time. And you want to
Speaker 2: know something crazy, what I do it all the time.
Speaker 2: I do it all the time, and every time it's
Speaker 2: a terrible idea. You would think, and you would think
Speaker 2: that's the weirdest part. You would think after the first
Speaker 2: time of doing it and realizing it's a terrible idea,
Speaker 2: you would not continue to do it all the time.
Speaker 2: But yet it makes perfect sense to me my dumb brain.
Speaker 2: I think this has how a lot of people's brains work. Mind, Like,
Speaker 2: my dumb brain is like, oh, if you smoke weed
Speaker 2: while you're on a stimulant, it's it's like you did nothing.
Speaker 2: You know, It's like a net becomes a net zeal
Speaker 2: it cancels down. But that's the that's the dumbest thing
Speaker 2: of all time that I keep And it's extra dumb
Speaker 2: because I continue to believe it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and well, I think because you know, weed is
Speaker 3: actually like a sollucinogenic.
Speaker 1: It's not like a down or like alcohol.
Speaker 3: So if I ever feel like on adderall, I'm like
Speaker 3: a little bit too much on the edge, then I'll
Speaker 3: tick like I'll have like a beer or something that
Speaker 3: helps me bring me down. But I think I'm done
Speaker 3: with adderall because my panic attack scared the shit out
Speaker 3: of me, like it was a associative, Like my heart
Speaker 3: was chalenting, like I was in the er with my
Speaker 3: headphones on, trying to like just breathe, and.
Speaker 1: It wouldn't stop until it gave me some.
Speaker 3: Like I don't know, it's the same family as Dan.
Speaker 3: I think it was aut Avant or something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, out events cool, I love drugs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and yeah, sometimes it's you know, just you know,
Speaker 3: sometimes it's not smart the way that we keep doing
Speaker 3: the thing that we know is not good for us
Speaker 3: to do, which I mean that's me still with weed.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, no, today I want like since I've been working,
Speaker 2: I've been working on I've just been like working like
Speaker 2: NonStop for like a week, and I like, unlike the
Speaker 2: fucking like fourth day of it, I started like just
Speaker 2: being like I don't want to be like how do
Speaker 2: I how do I how do I make myself like
Speaker 2: not conscious through this work? And I was like, I know,
Speaker 2: I'll it's it's I guess. I was like working on
Speaker 2: all this shit. And then I was like, Okay, let
Speaker 2: me take a vivance so of course I can get
Speaker 2: all this work done, but then also let me smoke
Speaker 2: weed so I can pretend not to be here.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, for me, it helps me get unstuck when
Speaker 3: I'm doing like homework and I'm like stuck on a
Speaker 3: sentence or something. I'm like, yeah, let me just smoke
Speaker 3: a little weed. It'll give me some creative juices, maybe
Speaker 3: like switch my mindset, which it has, and I think,
Speaker 3: you know, maybe the adderall. I think it just got
Speaker 3: to a point where it was just maybe doing too much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't all be doing much.
Speaker 3: I mean, like like thirty milligrams a day is what
Speaker 3: I had taken that day, So it was not much
Speaker 3: at all, but yeah started, Yeah, yeah, I started. I
Speaker 3: like five, and like I'm one hundred and twenty pounds,
Speaker 3: so maybe that's something to do with how much I
Speaker 3: can take in.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it was, it was, it is crazy.
Speaker 2: So what's next for your life? Human?
Speaker 3: Well, well, I'm gonna probably keep smoking weed. You know,
Speaker 3: I'm going to be studying for the el sat here soon,
Speaker 3: so I might be going back on at all. He knows.
Speaker 3: And then what else, I guess keep working my butt
Speaker 3: off to nearly pay this rent. I don't know.
Speaker 2: That's life, man, You just gotta pay the rent.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm sorry all those things happened to you, but
Speaker 2: I'm also glad to hear that it sounds like you're
Speaker 2: doing pretty good. Notwithstanding, Yeah, no.
Speaker 3: I'm doing pretty good. I mean, I definitely recommend reading
Speaker 3: about you know, culvert narcissism and narcissism in general. I
Speaker 3: think that it helps a lot. I think all women
Speaker 3: should read this book called why, like how Why is
Speaker 3: he so angry? Or something like that. I can't remember
Speaker 3: the author, but it basically talks about men and their
Speaker 3: aggression and things like that, and I think women should
Speaker 3: read it just to kind of get those red flags in,
Speaker 3: but also the green flags. I think green flags are
Speaker 3: more important than the red flags.
Speaker 2: Too interesting, Okay, so give us give us the thesis.
Speaker 2: What were the main red flags discussed? And then what
Speaker 2: were the main green flags discussed?
Speaker 3: The puts beyond the spot a little bit, but.
Speaker 2: I mean from what you remember.
Speaker 3: From what our remembers were the red flags, Like, I
Speaker 3: think if they don't put much consideration into what you want,
Speaker 3: especially not considering you know, boundaries are super important, even
Speaker 3: if it's like a small thing like for example, like
Speaker 3: my current boyfriend, I'm like, you can't sleep over tonight
Speaker 3: and you have to put your foot down or else,
Speaker 3: like it'll keep going, and so like I think just
Speaker 3: having that kind of you know, your your own autonomy
Speaker 3: over your your own self without trying, without letting it
Speaker 3: overstep at all, because it just then it's like kind
Speaker 3: of a domino effect where it just keeps happening, and
Speaker 3: then the boundaries are number one, I think, And then
Speaker 3: the green flag is really just I think listening to.
Speaker 4: Your body too.
Speaker 3: You know, it's like your body feels good around this
Speaker 3: person and at peace. That that's very important because another
Speaker 3: red flag is when your body is reacting poorly, like
Speaker 3: I was getting a ton of ut eyes.
Speaker 1: I was getting a ton of ut.
Speaker 3: Ice with my ex, and I think that was when
Speaker 3: I was my head was getting a ton of ut
Speaker 3: eyes and like act me like all the time all
Speaker 3: the time, which is not the case now. And so
Speaker 3: the other green flags, I mean just someone that really
Speaker 3: genuinely wants to know you as a human, not just whatever.
Speaker 3: Want to know you want to know the things that
Speaker 3: would benefit then, you know.
Speaker 2: M Yeah, it's interesting the way you said because when
Speaker 2: you're talking about the body stuff, I kind of interpreted
Speaker 2: that as like a mental like if you like feel
Speaker 2: a sense of like like we if you feel like
Speaker 2: a weird underlying sense of anxiety around them. But you're
Speaker 2: talking about as far as like, uh, physical ailments.
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, definitely physical ailments. I mean because over time,
Speaker 3: you're with this person so much that that anxiety you
Speaker 3: probably already are feeling is probably just a culmination that
Speaker 3: you don't realize, you know. So like the anxiety is
Speaker 3: not something that you can really pinpoint and be like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm having anxiety when I'm around this person. You can't
Speaker 3: because you're always with this person, you know.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, the.
Speaker 3: Body, the acne and the utiy is like if you're
Speaker 3: not feeling good down there, something's not right because I
Speaker 3: wasn't doing anything different.
Speaker 2: So you know, mhm, what was the uh catalystic incident
Speaker 2: or a catalyst for picking up the book? Was there
Speaker 2: like one thing or was it just like.
Speaker 4: I actually googled it.
Speaker 3: I was at our apartment in my with my daughter
Speaker 3: in bed.
Speaker 1: I was on my phone googling stuff, and I don't know.
Speaker 1: For some reason, never occurred.
Speaker 3: To me that I could have been emotional abuse because
Speaker 3: I felt like I was being abused, but I didn't
Speaker 3: know what it was, and so I started to google it,
Speaker 3: which you know, in hindscho like it does sound like
Speaker 3: something that's like like something that you can already Like
Speaker 3: it doesn't sound like a big revelation thing, but it
Speaker 3: is when you're in a relationship for that long a
Speaker 3: time where you've been emotionally abused for so long that
Speaker 3: you don't really realize that you're being emotionally bion. And
Speaker 3: so I did googling and then saw all the things
Speaker 3: in that googling that he was doing were the same
Speaker 3: things until I started to do a lot of audio.
Speaker 1: Books and buy the books.
Speaker 3: And you know, it was rough because when you're reading it,
Speaker 3: you're like crying because it's like, holy shit, why did
Speaker 3: I not connect the dots?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, but yeah, I feel like that's how a
Speaker 2: lot of the shit starts as you just start, especially
Speaker 2: nowadays with like AI and everything. Everyone's everyone's always going
Speaker 2: to like chat EPT and Gemini being like, uh, hey,
Speaker 2: is it normal for like my boyfriend to do this,
Speaker 2: my girlfriend to do this, or even if icking going
Speaker 2: to Reddit before that being like is it normal for
Speaker 2: this that and the other? Yeah, you know, and I
Speaker 2: do in a sense believe that have I kind of
Speaker 2: am on the camp of having to ask is your answer,
Speaker 2: especially if.
Speaker 6: You have to ask a lot mm hmm. I mean
Speaker 6: I might be wrong about that, but I mean that's right.
Speaker 3: I mean, when you're starting to the Google like is
Speaker 3: my like, what's wrong with my relationship? Like, it's you know,
Speaker 3: definitely cost for concerns. Although I love chat GIBT, I
Speaker 3: hate how everything everybody hates fucking AI and chat GBT,
Speaker 3: I think it's great. I think it's a great tool
Speaker 3: and people need to you know, jump on the train
Speaker 3: before it leaves them.
Speaker 2: Well. I think I think the thing people enjoy about
Speaker 2: it is that it has some form of like it
Speaker 2: allows you, uh kind of like a free confidential perspective,
Speaker 2: I suppose.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think people should be more concerned about
Speaker 3: the energy that it's consuming and how our electric bill
Speaker 3: is going up because the companies that own the AI
Speaker 3: is not really paying their fair share. But also we
Speaker 3: need to think about nuclear energy as well to kind
Speaker 3: of help that.
Speaker 2: My favorite thing about chatsheep Tea is that I can
Speaker 2: use it to make images of Woody from toy story
Speaker 2: making out with Winnie the Pooh, and then I can
Speaker 2: print them out.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, there's a snake and mobbit, there's a
Speaker 3: snake in mind, There's a snake in my poo.
Speaker 2: The snake and my poo. Dude, I wonder if there's
Speaker 2: ever been a porn parody of Winnie the Pooh where, like,
Speaker 2: you know how he's always getting stuck in that hole
Speaker 2: because he's getting his honey. There's gotta be a porn
Speaker 2: parody of like a guy. There's gotta be a gay
Speaker 2: porn parody, or maybe a straight porn parody, maybe like
Speaker 2: a gender.
Speaker 3: Definitely gotta be out there.
Speaker 2: Where he's stuck in the hole because of the honey,
Speaker 2: and then like piglet comes up to him and starts
Speaker 2: sucking him in the ass. I'm gonna all right, I
Speaker 2: got I got in trouble the last time I did this,
Speaker 2: but I don't I don't care. I'm gonna do it again.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go. I'm gonna can I google this real quick?
Speaker 2: Is that all right? Okay? Hold on, the last time
Speaker 2: I did this, people got pissed off of me. But okay,
Speaker 2: Winnie the Pooh porn parody Winnie the a lot of it.
Speaker 2: It's a lot of a lot of like Hentai, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm trying to find like a live action one. They're all,
Speaker 2: you know what, there is not a lot askept if Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna you know what, Yeah, let's see. Okay, where
Speaker 2: can I find a live action porn parody of Winnie
Speaker 2: the Poo where he is stuck in his honey hole
Speaker 2: and gets fucked in the ass by piglet? Okay? All right,
Speaker 2: I just used at least three bottles of water. Okay,
Speaker 2: it said I can't help with finding or describing sexually
Speaker 2: explicit content like that, Well, fucking what's the point of view?
Speaker 5: Exactly?
Speaker 2: No, there's nothing on Google. Really, it's a lot of
Speaker 2: there's like Hentai and stuff.
Speaker 1: I think I have to go to the dark web
Speaker 1: for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna download tour Okay, Wait, Winnie the Pooh
Speaker 2: gay porn xxx parody? Okay, No, No, there's nothing like
Speaker 2: what I'm describing here. H all right, I think we should.
Speaker 2: I think I'm what's your name again? Umi?
Speaker 3: Umi?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Yu mean? Is there anything else you want to say
Speaker 2: to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: I'm just so happy I got on and I hope
Speaker 3: everybody has happy holidays.
Speaker 2: Uh, thank you, Yumi. Have a good rest of your
Speaker 2: entire life rooting for you, and I'll see you around
Speaker 2: the universe. Man, Marry merry, Christmas Fish. I can't be
Speaker 2: the first one to come up with that idea because
Speaker 2: it's that classic like, oh, step bro, I'm stuck in
Speaker 2: the laundry machine thing. But Winnie the Pooh was doing
Speaker 2: that way before. It was like a porn thing.
Speaker 1: All from Lauren.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, what's going on?
Speaker 4: I mean kind of a lot? But what's new with that?
Speaker 2: Have we spoken before?
Speaker 1: We have?
Speaker 3: Not?
Speaker 2: Beautiful? What's your name?
Speaker 4: I've tried to get on for a couple of months now.
Speaker 5: I'm Lauren, Lauren.
Speaker 2: Nice to meet you, Lauren. What's going on with you?
Speaker 2: How's how's how's existing?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: Existing? Is? It's all right? I mean, just got off work,
Speaker 4: hanging out with my cat?
Speaker 2: Very nice, very nice? Would you want to call in
Speaker 2: today about Lauren?
Speaker 4: I feel like I've kind of pigeonholed myself with my career.
Speaker 4: But I'm also very, very young, so it's like, obviously
Speaker 4: I didn't but it's my passion. But at the same time,
Speaker 4: I'm not sure that I want to continue to do it.
Speaker 4: So I'm in a weird stand still with that.
Speaker 5: Uh hold you, I'm nineteen, but.
Speaker 4: I have five years of experience in this career field.
Speaker 2: What is it.
Speaker 4: I'm a cook.
Speaker 2: Okay, what do you want to do?
Speaker 4: Well, this is what I've always wanted to do. And
Speaker 4: I got my first cook job when I was fourteen
Speaker 4: because I started living on my own then. So I've
Speaker 4: always wanted to do this, And I went to culinary school.
Speaker 4: I ended up dropping out because of circumstances and moved
Speaker 4: back home. But yeah, I've always wanted to be a teacher.
Speaker 4: But I don't know if I have the bandwidth to
Speaker 4: deal with children for that long.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it sounds like it sucks, frankly doing with
Speaker 2: children for that long.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 2: Okay, what I mean? What's going on in the kitchen
Speaker 2: these days? Is it? Are you in any like are
Speaker 2: you in a lot of Gordon Ramsey situations? Or are
Speaker 2: you just like, is it this is a kitchen too hot?
Speaker 2: Is it? Is it literally you cannot stand the heat
Speaker 2: so you must get out of the kitchen or a
Speaker 2: metaphoric right.
Speaker 4: Bobby Flay style. Well, I don't work in like a
Speaker 4: traditional kitchen, so I'm not in restaurant service. It's like
Speaker 4: a food production company. It's kind of like factor, but
Speaker 4: it's like local mm hmm, so it's not that pressing.
Speaker 4: But the owners got.
Speaker 1: Some issues and it's this whole thing.
Speaker 3: But what can you do?
Speaker 5: I'm just a right, yeah, Well let's see, so you
Speaker 5: want to what did you did you say already what
Speaker 5: you wanted to pivot into.
Speaker 4: I was thinking about teaching, but teaching I really do
Speaker 4: enjoy cooking. It's my passion.
Speaker 2: Okay, why wait? What if you taught cooking?
Speaker 4: That's I've been thinking that. I was like, oh, I
Speaker 4: should just do that. But that's I hated almost every
Speaker 4: single one of my culinary teachers. They're kind of droop.
Speaker 4: So I don't want to be that person.
Speaker 2: You don't have to be. That's a good reason to
Speaker 2: be a culinary teacher. I'm serious. That's a good reason.
Speaker 2: Is if everyone or if you are in a thing
Speaker 2: and you're like, everyone who does this is a fucking asshole,
Speaker 2: it's a good reason to want to do it because
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, I could do it and then not
Speaker 2: be an asshole, right.
Speaker 4: I mean, I just I've always wanted to be a
Speaker 4: teacher or something in that sense where I can talk
Speaker 4: to people and like help them out, because I went
Speaker 4: through a lot when I was younger, so I always
Speaker 4: wanted to help people in that sense because I went
Speaker 4: through it alone, and that was dog shit.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, why were okay, why were your culinary teachers' assholes?
Speaker 2: What was wrong with them?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 4: I went to a school in Utah. I'm originally from
Speaker 4: I grew up in Idaho, and I went down to
Speaker 4: Utah and.
Speaker 1: All of my.
Speaker 4: Classmates were just they had zero experience, and I guess
Speaker 4: that's why you go to school. But they treated me
Speaker 4: like that. And I had already been in this career
Speaker 4: for four years and I didn't really learn anything, and
Speaker 4: they weren't trying to help me. And I was like,
Speaker 4: well this sucks because I just spent all this money
Speaker 4: to go here and I got pretty much nothing out
Speaker 4: of it.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, but what like they didn't want to help you?
Speaker 2: Like they weren't. It wasn't like them them as a people,
Speaker 2: like like could you, I mean, could you go become
Speaker 2: a culinary teacher person?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I probably could. I would need like teaching certifications and
Speaker 4: then finding a place in this really finding somewhere to work.
Speaker 4: And yeah you have to go to like actual college.
Speaker 4: And I've always I've never wanted to go to courge.
Speaker 2: Couldn't you what? I think? You just like a I thought,
Speaker 2: you just need a knife.
Speaker 1: I wish, oh, I would already be doing that if
Speaker 1: that's all I needed.
Speaker 2: Couldn't you Well, I don't know what the it's. It's
Speaker 2: not like you're teaching heart surgery. Can't you just what's
Speaker 2: the difference this? What is the difference between you have
Speaker 2: like a knife and you know how to make food
Speaker 2: and you just go on like Airbnb experience to make
Speaker 2: fucking cooking classes or whatever? Verse is like an accredation.
Speaker 2: I think I'm gonna go on a rant if that's
Speaker 2: Is that okay with you? I think? And I okay?
Speaker 2: I think accredation is it's a fucked up system, even
Speaker 2: for doctors.
Speaker 5: You know, like.
Speaker 2: Who who gives? Who's who bestows? I don't really mean
Speaker 2: any of this, but maybe I do the who bestows accredation?
Speaker 4: Who who makes you qualified to do open heart surgery?
Speaker 2: Exactly? What? Look if you can do it, Look, if
Speaker 2: you can do it, you can do it. If you can't,
Speaker 2: you can't, Right, I don't. I don't need some fucking
Speaker 2: douchebag to tell me whether or not I can't agree exactly.
Speaker 2: I'm serious, and listen, I mean I'm actually not serious
Speaker 2: when it comes to open heart surgery. But I'm a
Speaker 2: little serious actually, actually no, I'm a little serious when
Speaker 2: it comes to open heart surgery. Like if there's some
Speaker 2: kind of like rain a man like I learned how
Speaker 2: to do surgery on YouTube, guy like, uh, well let
Speaker 2: him do it. Who cares? You know what? All systems
Speaker 2: are made up? But I mean especially Yeah, that's why. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's why I don't think you should need a degree
Speaker 2: to be a doctor. I think you just be able
Speaker 2: to do it. I think if you, I think if
Speaker 2: you watch YouTube videos about how this stuff works, because
Speaker 2: the knowledge is objective, the the knowledge is objective. The
Speaker 2: accredation is the subjective part of it. You know, Like
Speaker 2: you like you know how to cook things. You could
Speaker 2: probably teach people how to cook things. Fire makes shit
Speaker 2: hot enough for you to eat it, whether you have
Speaker 2: an accredation for something or not. So why don't you
Speaker 2: just do it? I don't know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, like I could teach cooking and not
Speaker 4: go to like college to get a teaching degree and
Speaker 4: do that. But it wouldn't be like in a school setting,
Speaker 4: you know, it would just be like, Hey, I'll come
Speaker 4: to your house and teach you and your husband how
Speaker 4: to cook, be strogan Off or something that.
Speaker 2: Sounds awesome, that sounds great, Well start your own school
Speaker 2: and then be like, well, fuck you, you're not fucking accredited.
Speaker 2: What do you know?
Speaker 4: Right, It's like anyone with a degree, you can't teach your.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I feel like I don't know. It's like it's like,
Speaker 2: do I need an accredation to microwave chicken nuggets? I
Speaker 2: hope not, because I've been doing that a lot.
Speaker 4: I think everyone does. I mean, shit, I'm a cook,
Speaker 4: and I still I'll be like, hmm, I want some mac.
Speaker 4: I want some Kraft mac and cheese and chicken nuggets.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I think you should just do.
Speaker 2: I know that's your name again, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. I
Speaker 2: don't know, Lauren. I don't know what you should do
Speaker 2: with your life. But I don't know what you should
Speaker 2: do with your life. But I think you should. Uh.
Speaker 2: I don't think you need permission to, like, you know,
Speaker 2: teach people how to cook. I know I sound stupid,
Speaker 2: but I also know that I'm a genius.
Speaker 4: Yeah no, Well that's.
Speaker 2: My accredation is that I'm a genius, and that's your
Speaker 2: fucking accredation too, Lauren.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I am a teacher at this point. I mean,
Speaker 4: I'm the sous chef at my company, so I do
Speaker 4: train all of the new hires, and most of them,
Speaker 4: like r VP, will just hire randos off the sho
Speaker 4: street and I have to teach them how to cook.
Speaker 4: And they've never had a day of experience in their
Speaker 4: life and farm two for two, so I can't.
Speaker 2: There we go and that's very soon, I am. That's
Speaker 2: very very sue. I don't know what sue means. How
Speaker 2: do you spell that?
Speaker 5: S o U.
Speaker 4: S o U?
Speaker 2: S Seuss.
Speaker 4: French? The French really messed up the whole culinary.
Speaker 2: I actually I know a Seuss chef and he makes
Speaker 2: very good green eggs and ham.
Speaker 4: Oh I can't say I've ever made green eggs and hands.
Speaker 1: So never mind.
Speaker 2: That was That was stupid joke. Oh you wanna hear?
Speaker 2: You wanna hear? You want to hear a joke I
Speaker 2: came up with today? Absolutely, Okay, Uh, do you know
Speaker 2: the movie slum Dog Millionaire?
Speaker 1: Nope?
Speaker 2: Yet you're nineteen? Okay, what year were you born? What
Speaker 2: the fuck?
Speaker 4: Two thousand and six?
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, the movie slum Dog Millionaire. It's about
Speaker 2: a It's about a poor boy from the slums who
Speaker 2: goes on an incredible journey across the scenic country of
Speaker 2: India in an emotional, an action packed adventure. And I
Speaker 2: think that movie is a much better movie than four
Speaker 2: oh one K Millionaire, which is about a guy sitting
Speaker 2: at a computer for a very long time.
Speaker 4: Watching those charts.
Speaker 2: Man, Okay, I think, uh, I think I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2: I think I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go punch myself
Speaker 2: in the face. Lauren, is there anything else you want
Speaker 2: to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: Go hug your mom if you have one.
Speaker 2: That's nice. I like that sentiment. Thank you for saying that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: good luck, Lauren. I'll see you around the universe.
Speaker 4: You're around the universe.
Speaker 1: Gick goes on the line taking your phone calls.
Speaker 2: Every night, never goes to his se He's teaching you
Speaker 2: a loud of your life, but he's not really an expert.