WEBVTT - Gary Owen 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:03.320 What's up on that scas. Welcome to the first episode 0:00:03.320 --> 0:00:07.200 of No Filter with Michael Blackson. I'm your host, Michael Blackson. 0:00:07.240 --> 0:00:10.440 I'm here with of course, Hey, this is Chinese best 0:00:10.480 --> 0:00:14.000 friend Mike. Finally, the whole world get to see what 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:17.599 your thoughts are in your mouth. The African King of 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:24.319 Comedies podcasts. Well listen, man, you know I have a 0:00:24.320 --> 0:00:26.360 wonderful show for you guys tonight. We have a wonderful 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:28.840 show for you guys tonight. Since I didn't start the 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:32.120 show January. First, I'm gonna do a recap of what 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:35.639 has been like. But before we even do that, I'm 0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:38.440 gonna let you guys know my special special guest tonight 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:42.159 is a very good friend of mine, very funny comedian. 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:44.440 He's been a comic view He's been in the movies 0:00:44.520 --> 0:00:47.400 like I think like a man Daddy day here and 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:50.680 meet the Blacks. I'm sure you've heard of him, unless 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:55.080 you're white. He's a tinner Marie of comedy. My nague 0:00:55.120 --> 0:00:57.520 got Gary Owens in the house tonight, so it's gonna 0:00:57.520 --> 0:01:00.120 be a lot of fun. Just have recap of know 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:04.240 what year I think everybody died? I think we probably 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:09.399 only ones alive from a recap of Okay, let's go 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:11.080 back to the beginning. Let's see what happened in the 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:14.520 beginning of this year Trump supporters. Okay, I mean, I've 0:01:14.560 --> 0:01:18.720 never seen white people this pissed ever in my damn life. Okay, 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:22.520 I mean, these guys stormed into the capital to take 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:25.279 back a country that they store in the first place. 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:29.360 The last person that ran up into a builder to 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:33.399 take best some ship that belonged to himself, it was 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:35.480 just Simpson, and we knew where the fun that ship 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:38.600 ended up in jail, motherfucker. Exactly where these fucker's need 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:41.280 to be orangail like Oh j okay, I mean white 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:44.440 people were very piste and they were even more pissed 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:49.480 in nine when Magic Johnson Lakers beat Larry Bird Celtics. Okay, 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:53.720 that's how it pissed. Trump supporters were America as a 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:59.400 new president. That's right, he's a new welcome United States 0:01:59.400 --> 0:02:02.160 got a new press that this new president is old 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:06.360 as fun. It's like a heaven Biden. It as a 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:09.200 president is like getting a brand new iPhone too, like 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:12.840 an old new president. It's like getting a Michael Jordan's 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:16.639 retrol sneakers for for Christmas, like I just come to 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:18.960 old New Nika. That's what I'm gonna called Biden from 0:02:19.000 --> 0:02:22.720 here on. Of course, we got the first ever female 0:02:22.800 --> 0:02:29.200 vice president, give it the first female vice president. I mean, 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:31.880 this woman has a whole bunch of nationalities in her. 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:35.840 She's mixed with everything. I mean, she has more nationalities 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:40.640 in her than Kim Kadash has had in her. What 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:47.160 else happened in gorilla glue? That's right, gorilla glue on here. 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:50.320 It was stuck in her hair for a very long time. Okay, 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:53.760 meal hair was stiffer than than than a white person 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:57.760 on soul trained. Okay, the bitch here was hard as fun. 0:02:57.880 --> 0:03:01.880 It was harder than Chinese math. Gorrilla glue. If you're listening, 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:05.880 please make guerrilla glue condoms at least so we know 0:03:06.600 --> 0:03:08.800 that it won't come off and you will save a 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:12.280 lot of us nigat some shot support. Uh shout out 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:15.960 my nigga Tiger Wards, please make a speedy recovery, okay, 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:19.600 because last time Tiger was injured this bad, his ex 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:21.680 wife beat the ship out of that niggaut for sucking 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:24.360 a bunch of bitches. So get well very soon. My 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:30.200 nigga got Tiger Wards, I love you, uh, Lady Gaga. Um, 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:33.320 she got a dog back. Okay, Wolf Wolf, shout out 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:37.440 to the dog, the little chiguahwa, A little little congratulations. 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:41.200 Congratulations to my girl. She got her puppy back, a 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:45.200 little Chihuahua puppy dog. You know she plays. She put 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:49.080 out a five hundred thousand dollars reward for the return 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:52.720 of the dogs and no question asked, no question like 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:55.800 she pretty much like, fuck her dog walker. They got 0:03:55.840 --> 0:04:00.920 shot the dog walker. Reward for the dog. No fucking 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:04.400 work for the dog walker. Just bring my fucking puppy back. Okay, 0:04:04.640 --> 0:04:07.960 fuck that. That guy that's in the hospital sharing rooms 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:12.119 with Tiger Woods, they don't go. She didn't go funk 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:15.760 about the poor dog walker. Yeah that's crazy, man. I 0:04:15.800 --> 0:04:18.680 mean that guy took a bullet for the dog. Yeah, 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:22.000 that's crazy. This was three dogs, so one was held 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:24.400 in his army and he was not letting that dog go. 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:27.279 I mean, hes a gunshot for a fucking French pood. 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:31.920 Yeah he deserved. Lady Guga deserves to throw at least 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:35.400 like fifty dollar reward for the shooter, right or something. No, 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:38.520 come on, man, it's nothing. There's no, zero reward for 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:42.440 the shooter. The fucking guy is like bleeding to death 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:45.200 with a fucking French poodle in his hand. And no, 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:48.919 it's a French bulldog, not a bulldog. A poodle is 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:52.799 less than the French bulldog. The poodles are cheaper fun regardless. 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:56.159 It's fucking It wasn't lasting, motherfucker. You shouldn't let that 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:59.520 dog go. What else happening in beginning to Yeah, Tom Brady, 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:05.400 congratulations Tom Brady? Another super Bowl? Seven? Super Bowl? What 0:05:06.160 --> 0:05:08.240 this guy? This is? How great Tom Brady is? He's 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:10.840 definitely the go to me. Like seven super Bowl. He 0:05:10.880 --> 0:05:14.960 went to a team they used to losing practice, I 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:19.400 mean Tampa Bay, we're losing to themselves. He went to 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:22.000 that team and fucking won the super Bowl. This guy 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:24.279 could win the super Bowl with any fucking body. I 0:05:24.440 --> 0:05:27.240 guarantee you he can win a Supol with me. Morgan 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:33.520 Freeman two Majors and kidling Jenna, Tim We're already for 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:36.359 you just whenever I would be whatever I need to 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:39.120 be with position you think i'll be good at, you'll 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:45.400 be good at like the kicker, maybe catcher. You can't 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:49.760 catch anything you Another recent news Bobby s Murder is 0:05:49.800 --> 0:05:54.720 out of jail. Congratulations by Murder. Congratulations man, this guy 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:57.640 the six whole years. He even he even did more 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:01.360 time just so his buddy could you less time? Wow? 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:05.920 What a nice guy. Where is the Yeah, he's like 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:11.760 I think actually shout out to him sticking in there. 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:15.400 And the only thing that was really I was confused 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:17.320 about because I mean, he's part of it. He's one 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:19.960 of the leaders of the dog Skin Committee. Yes. Yeah, 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:25.480 if I am midnight, he's definitely about a con is 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:28.320 two m a com is like, So, I'm like, how 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:31.560 the hell a guy, this dog staying jailed that long? Yeah, 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:34.440 all nigger had to do with just close his eyes, 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:37.120 walk out butt naked. After nine pm he would have 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:42.400 been home. Okay, but thanks for coming home, uh my nigga? Yes, 0:06:42.600 --> 0:06:45.960 but yeah, besides that, Hey man, this is our first show. 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:49.680 I'm excited. What else is going on? Very excited. Let's go. 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:52.360 I hope there's a lot of people listening to us 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:55.680 or not. I don't know. Let me tell you right now. Okay, 0:06:55.720 --> 0:06:59.160 this is no filter. Michael Blackson. If you're sensitive, don't 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:02.280 fucking watch listen to the show. Martha Stewart is on 0:07:02.320 --> 0:07:06.440 the next block. Listen to Martha Stewart or Dion Warwick. Okay, 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:12.800 let the show beginning. Motherfuck Yeah. Tuesday, March the second, 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:23.360 Mothersucker t Tuz I'm Michael Black's I'm your host, Man, 0:07:23.400 --> 0:07:27.200 I got my Chinese best friend. Hey, it's Chinese best friend. 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:31.120 Hey doing Mike, I'm good man. How's everything good? Just 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:35.960 hanging in there? Tired of wearing a fucking mask? You're 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:40.520 tired already? Yeah, mask everywhere everywhere you go, mask, mask, mask. 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:41.880 I have to get used to it, man. I think 0:07:41.920 --> 0:07:45.600 it's gonna be around for many, many years. Really, like 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:49.040 how many years? I would say at least, I don't know, 0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:53.440 three years, maybe three years. Michael Jackson has been wearing 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:56.240 mask for thirty years exactly. He knew what then was 0:07:56.280 --> 0:07:58.720 going on. Yeah, he knew, he knew. He gave us 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:02.640 a warning in advance, but no one listened. And even 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:06.520 wearing gloves too. Yeah, would you start wearing gloves from 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:10.360 now on every time you perform? I'm not wear the gloves, man, 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:16.320 wear gloves for I don't know, to beat it, beat 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:21.000 the corona? Great. I don't figure you're wearing today, Michael, 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:23.680 Thank you man. Let's go yours first, you wear the 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:26.840 Chicago Bulls had that has a Gucci sign on the left. 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:31.239 What the funk? What is it Gucci in Chicago Bulls? 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:35.040 Chicago Bulls, And I don't know what's the rest? Like, no, 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:37.679 that there's a Gucci colors on your on the side 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:39.839 of it. I had no idea, Mike, Yeah, I don't. 0:08:39.920 --> 0:08:42.360 I don't want I start wearing Gucci after they had 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:45.240 that black face after that. Yeah, you're right, that's want 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:46.480 to make fun of me when I would have a 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:49.520 black face. Yeah, you you were putting all your Gucci 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:52.560 outfit to donation. I haven't warned him yet since it's 0:08:52.640 --> 0:08:55.320 for sale, any No, I don't want to buy. This 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:58.320 is not Guccio. I know it's not. Man. Yeah, Couci 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:01.680 is not allowed in my in my house. What is 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:04.360 this called your offer today? It looks really good. It 0:09:04.400 --> 0:09:08.040 looks like a kindergarten kid drew it all. What you're 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:12.079 wearing microL Reduction. It's a clothing by this company called Embellish. 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:15.600 But then I got the Fisacce belt with the Versacci shoes. 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:18.320 This is what I do. You know what we have 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:22.440 to start doing like women women only by expensive bags 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:25.680 and expensive shoes and they throw some bullshit fashion over 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:29.480 or some fucking easy pickings or some ship from fucking 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:32.560 forever twenty two, wherever the the age is. That's what 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:34.480 to do. They just care about the expensive shoes and 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:36.719 the purse, because long we have expensive shoes at a 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:40.640 nice purse, they're going automaically assume your oftfite is expensive. 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:44.400 The average outfit of a fucking woman is twelve dollars 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:47.480 and eighty cents, and then the average price of the 0:09:47.520 --> 0:09:50.720 bag is three thousand dollars and the shoes is a 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:54.360 thousand dollars, So that's spending four thousand and twelve dollars 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:57.920 and eighty cents. You're really good at math, math microp luction, 0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:02.640 old ace. At math, I was social studies and science. 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:04.800 I wasn't a big I didn't care much about science. 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:08.400 I didn't care about chemistry was so fucking hard for me. 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:10.599 What was what your hot subject was? Something you have 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:14.319 problem with school? Have a problem with mechanics class? Yeah, 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:17.280 I couldn't put the engine together. But that's like ectra 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:20.079 curricul like, just like I had cooking, you have mechanics. Yeah, 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:23.960 I had cooking too. I had cooking because I like to. Yeah, 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:26.520 I didn't learn anything there, and just so you did 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:28.280 a mechanic. That's why you know so much about cars. 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:32.240 Everytime you almost blow up on us, pick you up 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:35.120 when the range rover and it's literally blow up on 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:39.360 us and smoking, don't worry. It's easy to fix. Drove 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:42.280 you back home two minutes. And then why was it 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:43.839 when I was it smoking in the first place? No, 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:50.000 it was just a little host problem. Yeah, your problems. Yeah, 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:55.920 it's a host league. The story of your life, those problems, 0:10:56.320 --> 0:10:59.440 his host problems. Yeah, you're longer than on leak. You 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:02.240 know my host the leak only nothing and fixed the 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:06.440 leaking problem. Other zoom. What shirt is that when you're wearing. Yeah, 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:09.960 I'm wearing it's a triple old G shirt given to 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:12.760 me by Michael Blackson. I'll give you that. Yeah, you 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:14.600 give me this every I didn't give you that ship, 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:17.000 every fucking health and I'm wearing you give to me. 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:19.560 It was free closes from like people that make them. 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:23.040 Yeah it looks nice and yeah, you're saving some money 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:26.720 at least. Yeah, it looks it looks like uh, it 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:32.640 looks like the old Couci Couci Gucci, not Gucci. What's Yeah, 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:35.640 it's like c O O G I or something couci. 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:38.600 That's it. Like we're begging to me to wear back 0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:42.400 in the day and like run DMC. Yeah, it's an 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:44.680 old brand from back in the day. Nobody wears no more. 0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:51.320 Just like nobody huh, nobody fucking wear the ship and 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:54.400 nobody in their right mind. Maybe you know who's wearing 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:57.599 those now. Guys who go to jail come out of 0:11:57.679 --> 0:11:59.719 jail and then they've been going for thirty years and 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:03.840 have no clue that things have changed. It's the same thing. 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:06.360 It's my life, Mike, what the fuck? No, no, no, no, 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:09.240 These guys will go to jail for thirty years to 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:11.080 come out and they go put an old jewelry on. 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:15.800 I'm like, motherfucking nobody's wearing a herring bone anymore. Okay, 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:19.640 we're like Cuban links. Okay, no more. No, nobody wearing 0:12:19.640 --> 0:12:23.360 a dukey fat rope chain. You're not scooping scrap from 0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:26.800 Big Dedy Kane group. You're not run D motherfucking m 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:30.800 C the baggy pants if he was never I don't 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.840 what the fund is your job? You? Like? I still 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:38.360 real estate? Michael Blesing, Yeah, I haven't seen sell anything 0:12:38.400 --> 0:12:40.760 in the past since No, I saw I showed something 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:44.920 like three months ago. That's a long time. Yeah. All 0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:47.520 you need is one hit wonder and then you're good 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:52.120 for like a few months. And I do hard money loans, yeah, 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:56.280 you know for flippers. Yeah, So how hard is that loan? Yeah? 0:12:56.320 --> 0:12:58.959 It's like eight ten percent interest, right, that's not that 0:12:59.080 --> 0:13:02.320 bad though. Yeah, a short term I'm saying. I mean, lord, 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:06.000 I mean that's like my credits fucked up. So if 0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:07.840 I was to get a loan anyway, I'll be looking 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:10.800 at twelve percent. I'm better off coming with you. Yeah, 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:15.520 if you what is that called only for us quick flip? Yeah, 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:19.040 short term, short term, short term. You don't do long terms, 0:13:19.679 --> 0:13:23.400 No I didn't. The most is one year. Yeah, that's 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:26.560 the longest term. One year yea for those flippers. Yeah, 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:29.280 because it's bank on stuff. If I brought a million dollars, 0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:31.920 if I don't have it back in a year, If 0:13:31.960 --> 0:13:33.920 I brought a million dollars, I don't get it back 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:35.800 to you know year, What you guys gonna do to me? Yeah, 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.040 we're gonna fe close in your house and we're gonna 0:13:38.080 --> 0:13:41.960 take one of your balls. Nothing big so when you 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:44.520 should say a casting, I'm gonna leg you really mean that? Huh? 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:49.920 No arm and the balls. No, we just we just 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:54.000 extend you alone. We don't do anything tragic like that, 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:56.960 or for clothes on your house. It's okay. Well, I 0:13:57.000 --> 0:13:59.480 know one person that probably hopefully will never need a 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:02.880 loan any more, because hard working comedian just like myself. 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:06.000 This guy has been doing his thing for as long 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:09.000 as I have. In fact, we'll talk about it when 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:13.840 he come on this podcast. He's probably the whitest black comedian. Really, 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:17.400 I can't wait to meet your friends. Yeah, he's he's 0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:23.360 a black comedian. Really, I don't think any white person noticed. Niggah. 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:26.040 He goes out in the street, black Pool, rushing and 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:27.440 the white poole like, who the fun is that white 0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:30.680 guy that the black people are hugging? Gary only ladies 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:41.120 and gentlemen. Here she comes mess America, Carolina, Kelly got 0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:43.240 a night, Kelly, come and show him to your ass. 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:49.000 Look at that. It's real as matters. No no bb 0:14:49.160 --> 0:14:54.480 or nothing was transferred from like nothing you didn't transfer 0:14:58.000 --> 0:15:00.200 you're working a gaining weight first? That would is that 0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:01.520 what the women have to do? You have to gain 0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:07.280 weight to lose it. Well, why don't you just grow 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:08.720 in the right spot? What do you do? Can you 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:12.120 just direct that? Now? Look damn asked? Is this like 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:15.640 an ass day kick? Can I say? Oh my goodness, 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:20.720 kicking Mike? Today's storking Thursday. It's not sucking Thursdays. I 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.880 told Mike he should have a white Wednesday. Yeah, nothing 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:29.360 but white girls on Wednesday. That's right, you look good. 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:36.680 Thanks for the Yeah, he can't say he's married, show 0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:39.600 him that ring. Let's say. That's like you can't even 0:15:39.640 --> 0:15:41.880 take your wife. Your wife don't let you do nothing 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:43.600 at all, like she woulded to just bring home some 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:46.280 pussy one day, just like, hey Gary, you know you've 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:53.400 been a great guy. Here's some extra profools. Goodness, man, 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:56.960 you see, here's the thing. Those contracts have to be 0:15:57.040 --> 0:15:59.720 done before marriage. You got married like hollow, you've been 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:03.720 married eighteen Oh yeah, they weren't agreeing to these contracts 0:16:03.720 --> 0:16:06.480 back then. Thank you. This ship looks gonna talking about 0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:11.720 my career. Let's yeah, let's get I mean this podcast, 0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:13.800 we'll give a funk about careers. Were just more like 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:17.120 into titties and asks, but I guess you. Wow, thanks 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:19.200 for having me on Mike, you welcome, you know, I 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:21.000 just I bring you here to get you in trouble, 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:23.160 man that come here and get divorced a week later. 0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:29.960 So when just gonna air? Hopefully tomorrow. That's like when 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:36.040 I got a week left? Oh man, But well, let's 0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:38.920 talk about some stand up We go back. I did 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:41.200 his your podcast. I'm not sure you want to air whatever? 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:45.080 When their March fourth, Mike, March for my Pike? Oka? Good? 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:49.320 What am I watching? Are you watching? Point in the 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:52.280 middle of the show. I don't know, Jesus Christ, I 0:16:52.320 --> 0:16:55.400 had no idea it was going this. It's this the 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:58.600 first episode about to be the last. We keep this 0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:04.119 ship up. Oh it must be Gary Olwen's podcast. Yeah, 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:09.640 I think it automatically leave it on the let to play. 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:13.040 We just we just go sit out there, all right? 0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:16.720 So we go marry it. Teen years when you started 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:20.040 stand up? What was that? First time I went on 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:25.280 stage was five or ninety six? And then it went bad, 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:28.040 So I didn't go up for another two years. Whoa, 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:31.640 that's a long time, Gary, How bad was it? Two 0:17:31.680 --> 0:17:34.399 things happened. I was at the comedy store in Lahoya, California, 0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:37.119 in San Diego, and I thought the first night to 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:39.320 open mic, I go, this is there the stars. But 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:41.840 the first night open mic, so I thowt a star 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:44.359 was born. This is it. I'm gonna get discovered, you know. 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:50.399 Then I go up and there was probably ten people 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:53.760 in the audience, but like twenty comics in the back, 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:57.120 and the comics started heckling. They weren't heckling, they were 0:17:57.119 --> 0:18:02.359 doing the comic laugh, you know, to mean. So I 0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:05.000 remember I was nineteen nineteen or twenty nineteen. I was 0:18:05.040 --> 0:18:07.440 under twenty one. But I said, hey, all you comics 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:10.400 in the back, go ahead, go ahead and keep heckling. 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:12.720 I go, I'm not twenty one. I've been drinking in 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:14.560 this club all night. Why don't call it cops and 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:18.720 shut this motherfucker down. It was like the movie mis 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:22.159 clicked off, the mic clicked off. Some guy can't even 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:23.920 literally put me up by the back of my shirt 0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:28.000 and threw me out. And this guy, even Fred who 0:18:28.080 --> 0:18:32.480 had he wanted a hundred thousand dollars on America's Funniest People. 0:18:33.080 --> 0:18:35.959 He had like the crutches, but the thing abc funnest 0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:38.920 video people. I think it was the funniest people back then. 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:41.600 But he wanted like ninety one. He was an older guy. 0:18:41.880 --> 0:18:44.880 He had the weird legs that you need the crutches 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:47.359 to walk, and he was the manage GM of the club. 0:18:47.600 --> 0:18:49.240 I'm sure we keep on his crutches. And I'm on 0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:51.600 the ground. Hell don't have a comeback, and I go 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:54.640 am I on A Farley Brother movie was going on. 0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:57.359 So it took me like a year to get the 0:18:57.400 --> 0:19:00.639 nerve to go back up because night, well, but you 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:03.800 don't you don't know where to go up. So in 0:19:03.920 --> 0:19:06.720 my world living in San Diego, the only comedy club 0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:10.080 was the Jya Comedy Store using the service, so I 0:19:10.160 --> 0:19:11.760 was like, I didn't know where to go up. I 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:13.680 just thought that was it. If I can't go up there, 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:15.480 I don't know where else to go up. I think 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:17.480 the Navy is like where this all the poor children 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:20.639 always goes into service for some reason. I'd like, you 0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:22.879 don't have money for college? Would be real, you have 0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:25.399 no money for college, so either you're gonna work or 0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:27.959 go into the service. When I got to high school 0:19:28.200 --> 0:19:30.080 was broke. I try to go to Army, but I 0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:32.520 couldn't go because I didn't have a green card. I 0:19:32.560 --> 0:19:35.760 was legal to work and stay in America, but not legal. 0:19:35.880 --> 0:19:37.520 I was in a a permanent resident so they won't let 0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:40.399 me go in the army, so I had to keep working. Yeah, 0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:43.639 I got that. So you started that. That was nine 0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:46.399 was nice, twenty years old. And then it took a 0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:49.960 year and then uh, I started to ask around like 0:19:50.240 --> 0:19:51.919 some of the brothers that I was in the Navy with. 0:19:52.480 --> 0:19:54.080 I was like, yeo, I'm still want to do stand up, man, 0:19:54.119 --> 0:19:56.240 We're gonna go up, and they start, we're making me 0:19:56.280 --> 0:19:57.720 want to go up in the first place. If somebody 0:19:57.800 --> 0:19:59.679 like was it like A. I always wanted to be 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:03.399 stand The whole goal and to join the Navy was 0:20:03.600 --> 0:20:06.720 They had a lot of bases in California. In my mind, 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:09.920 the whole state was l A. I never really been 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:13.480 so I'm thinking David Lee Ross video California Girls. I 0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:16.760 thought the whole state was like, I don't know, there 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:20.440 was a friends know of Eureka, of Bakersfield. I thought 0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:22.320 the whole state was l A. So I got to 0:20:22.359 --> 0:20:25.159 San Diego. That's why I thought, oh, this is it. 0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:28.600 I just assumed Jim Carey Chris Rock was comp here. 0:20:29.400 --> 0:20:31.000 I thought this is the only comedy club in the 0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:33.920 state of California. I just didn't know. And then after 0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:36.399 a year I was telling some of the brothers I 0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:37.840 was in the Navy with usaid, man, I want to 0:20:37.880 --> 0:20:40.040 go up, man wouldn't be stand up. They told me 0:20:40.119 --> 0:20:43.000 all the quote unquote hood spots in San Diego. So 0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:45.199 that's why I started doing all the black rooms I 0:20:45.200 --> 0:20:48.200 could get on stage, and then I just kept getting better. 0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:52.320 Those white rules were so strict when I started opening, 0:20:52.400 --> 0:20:54.800 like the club man that just would pull you up 0:20:54.880 --> 0:20:58.280 according to where you're known in the club. So either 0:20:58.320 --> 0:21:01.159 you're gonna go up early or last. If you go 0:21:01.280 --> 0:21:03.960 up early, it's bailing nobody there. If you're going on last, 0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:08.239 comedians left. So as you build your portfolio, the more 0:21:08.320 --> 0:21:10.520 you get to know you, the better you got, the 0:21:10.640 --> 0:21:14.080 better spot you'll get. No, that was that was at 0:21:14.080 --> 0:21:16.480 the comedy works. You know that. I think there's one endeavor. 0:21:16.760 --> 0:21:19.359 There was a comedy works in Philly. Yeah, yeah, it was. 0:21:19.440 --> 0:21:22.240 It was it's not there anymore, but then that was 0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:26.520 Wednesday night and then Monday the laugh House had open mic. 0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:29.040 I found it out whiles, but open mic there was. 0:21:29.160 --> 0:21:30.399 Back then. It was called it funny. It was a 0:21:30.400 --> 0:21:34.800 funny bone. The Laft House wasn't funny. Bone. Originally it 0:21:34.880 --> 0:21:37.920 wasn't Funny Bone, so they had open mic on Mondays. Now, 0:21:38.080 --> 0:21:40.920 the difference with the open mic at the Funny Bone 0:21:40.960 --> 0:21:44.879 compared toive comedy works is Funny Bone first come, first served. 0:21:45.560 --> 0:21:47.080 I mean, if you get a line, if you're the 0:21:47.080 --> 0:21:48.640 first one in line, you get to pick the spot 0:21:48.720 --> 0:21:51.800 you get the goal. So spot one to twenty. If 0:21:51.840 --> 0:21:53.639 I'm like number one in line, I'll go pick like 0:21:53.720 --> 0:21:55.560 number eight. That's a good spot right in the middle 0:21:55.560 --> 0:21:57.840 of the show. Should be a nice crowd there. Everybody 0:21:57.880 --> 0:22:00.800 should be there the later you arrived. If the worst 0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:03.160 spot you get, I never heard of a comic club 0:22:03.200 --> 0:22:05.600 doing that. That's how I was back in. Would the 0:22:05.600 --> 0:22:09.679 line long lines you got on? Ye? I think they 0:22:09.720 --> 0:22:12.639 went up to like you know, and then after that 0:22:13.280 --> 0:22:15.639 there's a line of like a hundred people. What, No, 0:22:15.720 --> 0:22:17.560 it wasn't that many comics, not that many comics, and 0:22:17.600 --> 0:22:19.679 feeling it wasn't that many. Yet. It is not like 0:22:19.920 --> 0:22:22.240 some kind of competition like and you go to New York, 0:22:22.600 --> 0:22:24.560 like in the ABC competition where you have to stand 0:22:24.600 --> 0:22:27.240 in line and it's like a hundred people and you 0:22:27.280 --> 0:22:29.760 go in there audition for like one minute. You have 0:22:29.880 --> 0:22:32.600 to prove one a minute. Who the hell can prove 0:22:32.680 --> 0:22:35.000 themselves in one minute? But that's what happened when I 0:22:35.040 --> 0:22:37.239