1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,640 Speaker 1: Welcome to How the Money. I'm Joel and I and 2 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: Matt and today we're talking the unspoken rules of career 3 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 1: success with Gore King. Getting ahead in life and succeeding 4 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 1: in your career depends on just a lot more than 5 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: doing a great job. Just because you're a competent software 6 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 1: engineer or a nurse or or whatever it is that 7 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 1: you do, that doesn't mean that you will automatically climb 8 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 1: the ranks and see your salary increase with promotions, with 9 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 1: additional responsibility. And that's because there are things that managers 10 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: and things that bosses expect but they never explained to you. 11 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 1: This is the basis for Gorik Ng's best selling book, 12 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 1: The Unspoken Rules Secrets to Starting your Career off Right. 13 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 1: Gorick is a career advisor at Harvard focusing on coaching 14 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:05,560 Speaker 1: first generation low income students. But then before that, he 15 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: gained plenty of professional experience from working in management, consulting, 16 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:14,040 Speaker 1: investment banking, and as a researcher with the Harvard Business School. 17 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: But regardless of your specific job, works added to discuss 18 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 1: the different unspoken ways that you can find success in 19 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 1: your career. Go Rick, thank you for joining us today 20 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: on the podcast, Joel Matt, thanks so much for having 21 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: me throw the be here. Yeah, well we're thrilled to 22 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: have you go wreck and yeah, this is gonna be 23 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 1: really I think a really interesting conversation. Your research and 24 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:37,040 Speaker 1: your history are just gonna make for really like, yeah, 25 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:38,919 Speaker 1: there's a lot of good stuff to cover here today. 26 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 1: But before we get into some of that stuff, I 27 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: want to know Matt and I we like craft beer, 28 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,039 Speaker 1: as you know, and uh, it is something that we 29 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 1: spend a decent bit of money on in the here 30 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 1: and now while trying to save and invest well for 31 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: the future. So, yeah, do you have something like that 32 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,559 Speaker 1: in your life? A splurge that your make, you're making 33 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 1: while you're also prioritizing putting some money away in your 34 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 1: savings account and also like in those investment accounts. It 35 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: has to be ice cream. I like to work for 36 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 1: my ice cream, so it needs to be chunky, need 37 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:13,119 Speaker 1: to put in some effort for it to go down. Wait, 38 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: what do you mean that you have like a favorite 39 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: brand or something like that. Yeah, you said it needs 40 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 1: to be chunky. What do you mean that there's something 41 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 1: like Moose tracks or what? Yeah, like Moose tracks, anything 42 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: that I need to chew on. And funny, funny you say, 43 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 1: what does chunky mean? Because I've actually gotten that question 44 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: from a number of I've ever heard ice cream described 45 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:32,919 Speaker 1: as chunky before, but you're talking about in the beer world, 46 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: which they call them ad junks. So all the additional 47 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 1: bits of candy or chocolate, moose tracks, butterfinger, that kind 48 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 1: of stuff. That's I guess that's what you're looking for 49 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 1: in your ice cream. Yes, exactly. And maybe I'm in 50 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: search of a new adjective then, because I've been confusing 51 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: a lot of people with my use of the word chunky. Well, 52 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 1: I guess it's the opposite of Down here, we've got 53 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 1: a lot of Chick fil A's and ice Dream is 54 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 1: the ice cream that they serve, and it's just a 55 00:02:56,480 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 1: super smooth, very creamy, like the hand turned stuff that 56 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: your grandmother's it does. Yeah, yeah, it's kind of cut 57 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 1: like that, like an old school homemade flavor going on 58 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,360 Speaker 1: with it. But it's funny that you mentioned that because 59 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,800 Speaker 1: I guess it was a couple of months ago we 60 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 1: talked with Clark Howard and he also that's his splurge. 61 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 1: He trying to hook them up and the top dollar 62 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 1: on really nice ice cream. So you two how to 63 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 1: get together do a little tour of the country and 64 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 1: visit all the best ice cream spots. Uh yeah, but Gary, 65 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: let's we want to dig into your background just a 66 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,800 Speaker 1: little bit before we kind of start talking about your book, 67 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: your career expertise. It basically started when you were pretty young, 68 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 1: at the age of fourteen. Can you share that story 69 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: with us? It sounds good. Yeah, it's kind of weird 70 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 1: that it all began back when most of us, I 71 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: certainly were focused on playing video games more so than 72 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: building our careers. Where I was fourteen years old and 73 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 1: my mom, who is a single mother, came home with 74 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 1: a pink slip and it said that she was laid 75 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: off from the sewing machine factory job that she had 76 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 1: held since she was twelve years old. And I, as 77 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 1: the person in the house who knew how to speak 78 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 1: English and get onto the internet, became the person to 79 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: step up. And so I ended up spending recesses learning 80 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 1: to write resumes and cover letters, afternoons at the public 81 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 1: library looking for jobs, and evenings coaching my mom. I 82 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 1: put very thick, italicized bolded quotes around coach. It was 83 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 1: really the blind leading of blind there Um, we applied 84 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 1: to hundreds of jobs and didn't end up getting any callbacks, 85 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 1: where my mom ended up actually returning to school, getting 86 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: an early childcare assistant certificate, and so things worked out. 87 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 1: But it was that experience that led to me wondering 88 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,480 Speaker 1: what was I missing? How could I, as someone who 89 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,040 Speaker 1: did well in school, who saw myself as resourceful, not 90 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 1: be able to help my mom get back on her feet. 91 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: And it took a number of years for me to 92 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: find the answer. And it actually took a few experience 93 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: ass after that to find the answer, one of which 94 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,040 Speaker 1: came in high school where I met a student from 95 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 1: another school who had applied to Yale University and had 96 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: gotten in, And over the course of getting to know 97 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,840 Speaker 1: her and having her take me under her wings, I 98 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 1: learned that getting into college required a lot more than 99 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 1: just tossing over an essay and hoping for the best. 100 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: There was a certain style of essay that people were expecting. 101 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,239 Speaker 1: There's a certain way of holding your hands your teacher's 102 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: hands through the admissions process, the recommendation process that no 103 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:36,600 Speaker 1: one really tells you about. And these unspoken rules as 104 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: I call them now ended up working. I ended up 105 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 1: becoming the first of my family to go to Harvard, 106 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 1: to to go to college in general, but was lucky 107 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:48,040 Speaker 1: enough to have gotten into Harvard as an undergraduate. And 108 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 1: when I was at Harvard, it was the first time 109 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:54,160 Speaker 1: that I was within such close proximity to so many 110 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: people who could call their parents, doctors and lawyers and senators, 111 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 1: people that I would read about in the newspapers but 112 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,080 Speaker 1: I didn't even know I could interact with. And over 113 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: the course of getting to know these classmates and friends, 114 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: started realizing that there's really this informal curriculum that some 115 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: of us end up getting over the dinner table from 116 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 1: our parents, mentors, siblings, that many more of us, folks 117 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: from my background, for example, end up never getting and 118 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:25,480 Speaker 1: end up having to learn through trial and error and 119 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:29,160 Speaker 1: so over the course of my early career into this day, 120 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 1: I started reflecting on, Wow, well, what responsibility do I 121 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,160 Speaker 1: have to hopefully pay a smoother path for people coming 122 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,799 Speaker 1: after me? And that all has led to me writing 123 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:40,120 Speaker 1: this book and hoping to spend the next stretch of 124 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:44,400 Speaker 1: my career paving a smoother path for people coming after me. Yeah, 125 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 1: in your book, you actually say that there are insiders 126 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 1: and outsiders, even in like the prestigious world of a 127 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,920 Speaker 1: college like Harvard, and you felt like an outsider. So 128 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 1: why was that? Like, what what were those what was 129 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 1: causing those feelings? Yeah, it was this feeling of looking 130 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,920 Speaker 1: left looking right, almost as if it were a middle 131 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 1: school dance, and seeing everyone grooving on the dance floor 132 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 1: and you looking left looking right and standing there awkwardly 133 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: being like, there's something I'm missing here. And I gotta 134 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 1: say I totally identify with that because that sounds like 135 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 1: exactly what happened to me in seventh grade. So you 136 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 1: and I both y'all just did there awkwardly, and me 137 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 1: and my friend Javier, we're just playing tag. Where were 138 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 1: the idiot sixth graders? That Everyone's just like, what are 139 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 1: you doing? This is the dance. It happens on a 140 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 1: regular basis at a higher education institution. It happens all 141 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: the time in in the workplace, and it manifests itself 142 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 1: in the form of in in college, for example, some 143 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 1: students really knowing how to navigate the system and building 144 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 1: good relationship with their with their professors, knowing how to 145 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 1: navigate recruiting events and job fairs, and getting jobs that 146 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 1: aren't even advertised. And then in the workplace, you have 147 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 1: some folks who put their heads down and work hard 148 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 1: and wonder why they're not getting that promotion or that 149 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:14,120 Speaker 1: high profile project. Meanwhile, someone else who may be working 150 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: less hard, or less or or less competent end up 151 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: getting all that visibility. It's not a matter of what 152 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 1: you know, it's a matter of who you know when. 153 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: It's not a matter of whether you're just simply fulfilling 154 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 1: the job description that you've been assigned, But it's about 155 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,880 Speaker 1: how you go above and beyond in these unspoken, unwritten ways. Yeah, 156 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: and and even so, like you endured some real hardships 157 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,200 Speaker 1: growing up, and yeah, like you said, it wasn't the 158 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 1: smoothest path for you to get where you are now 159 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: even though you were a hard worker. You know, you're 160 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: we're talking about these unspoken rules, Like it's almost as 161 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 1: if like you were learning proper etiquette. Uh, It's it's 162 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 1: not something that it's necessarily directly it's hot, but it's 163 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 1: something that sometimes folks are able to learn either second 164 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 1: hand or they see it demonstrated, or there's there's somebody 165 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: else in their life that is able to kind of 166 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 1: meant for them or shepherd them. But yeah, like I 167 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,200 Speaker 1: don't know. The more we kind of dove in your book, 168 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,080 Speaker 1: I was just like, man, this really feels like being 169 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 1: taught like manners or or just proper etiquete or like 170 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,439 Speaker 1: Southern etiquette or something different that isn't as widespread as 171 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 1: you would expect. Yeah, And the thing about so many 172 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 1: of these unspoken rules is they can come across as 173 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:22,320 Speaker 1: common sense. And I've gotten that feedback from some people 174 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: who would say, why are you just writing down common sense? 175 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 1: And it actually led to a point where I was 176 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 1: contemplating the subtitle of of the book and one of 177 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:34,319 Speaker 1: the options of like a couple dozen was common sense. 178 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 1: That's only common sense looking back. And that's how I 179 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: feel about so many of these rules. Yeah, that's yeah, 180 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,720 Speaker 1: that's interesting some of them, Like when I'm reading them, 181 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,320 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense 182 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: intuitively to me. But you're probably right, But part of 183 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,720 Speaker 1: it is because of like the water x Wamen, like 184 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 1: how I grew up. Well, I think it probably too 185 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 1: depends on just the kind of work that you're doing. 186 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,079 Speaker 1: I think there might be a certain professions, certain fields 187 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: where maybe interacting with other folks isn't as important. So 188 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 1: there maybe there is less reading people's emotions or understanding 189 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 1: communication style, different things like that, And maybe it might 190 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 1: only be about the work. But I think as our 191 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,839 Speaker 1: world evolves, it's clear that it's not just about doing 192 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: really good work. You have to be able to integrate 193 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: into these systems, uh, and to do that well in 194 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: order to be successful. Yeah, and and go right now, 195 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 1: you help first generation low income students so that they 196 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 1: don't have to go through like trial and error scenarios, right, 197 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,200 Speaker 1: like some of the some of the ones that you 198 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,560 Speaker 1: went through in your life. And what would you say, like, 199 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:34,080 Speaker 1: are navigating these unspoken rules like the biggest hurdles that 200 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,559 Speaker 1: they faced when it comes to succeeding in the workplace. Yeah, 201 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,960 Speaker 1: it's say the unspoken rules are a big piece. I'd 202 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 1: say Another piece is around confidence and a sentence I 203 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 1: often find myself saying to to first gen low income 204 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,360 Speaker 1: college students and those who are coming from underrepresented backgrounds 205 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: is that there's a difference between confidence and competence. Where 206 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:01,239 Speaker 1: competence is how much you know and can do. Confidence 207 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,720 Speaker 1: is how much you think you know and can do 208 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 1: and you need both. Where I often hear stories of people, 209 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:13,200 Speaker 1: and I was certainly in this situation myself where you're 210 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 1: in a meeting and you have this idea that you 211 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 1: want to bring up, but you're thinking to yourself and 212 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: you have a self talk of hm, is this a 213 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 1: stupid comment? Or is this common sense? And so you're 214 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 1: you're debating with yourself constantly about is even worth raising 215 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:32,600 Speaker 1: this idea? And five minutes later, someone else says the 216 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 1: exact same thing and gets all the credit. In those situations, 217 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 1: I've certainly found myself in this situation a fair bit, 218 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,440 Speaker 1: and I start realizing, wait a second, is it the 219 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:47,080 Speaker 1: case that this actually was a smarter comment than I 220 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,160 Speaker 1: had thought? And or this other person may just have 221 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:53,960 Speaker 1: lower expectations than I do for what makes a smart comment, 222 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: And in having lower standards, they they ended up getting 223 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 1: all the credit and getting ahead. That's the difference between 224 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 1: competence and confidence. Yeah, it's almost as if overthinking it 225 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: can just yeah sometimes. Uh. How many of these unspoken 226 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,200 Speaker 1: rules do you think have to do with just cultural 227 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 1: differences between whether it be just the different backgrounds that 228 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 1: families have or or where individuals are raised. In the 229 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 1: United States, that's a big one for sure, um, and 230 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 1: I would say that these unspoken rules are becoming more 231 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:30,840 Speaker 1: and more important as companies have more global teams and 232 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:35,080 Speaker 1: are hiring folks from very different backgrounds, where some of 233 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: these cultural norms may not have permeated the waters in 234 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,680 Speaker 1: the same way that they may have permeated the waters 235 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:45,200 Speaker 1: for for for for these so called insiders. And so 236 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:49,680 Speaker 1: when I think of working cultures across geography, is certainly 237 00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 1: there are some that are more hierarchical, where you speak 238 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 1: when spoken to. There are others that are less hierarchical, 239 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: where you're expected to speak up, can ribute, disagree with 240 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 1: your manager, and in fact disagreement is is encouraged and 241 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,400 Speaker 1: and rewarded. And then they're also uh. As I think 242 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 1: about my Asian upbringing, for example, certainly there's this unspoken 243 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 1: norm or hidden expectation that you respect your elders, and 244 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:28,120 Speaker 1: when someone who is higher ranking, older, more experienced, is speaking, 245 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 1: you'd wait your turn, and you'd not only just wait 246 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 1: your turn, but you'd withhold your comments until you're called upon, 247 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,680 Speaker 1: if you are even called upon. And so there is 248 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 1: some unlearning and relearning. That's not to say that there's 249 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: a right or wrong way of doing things. To your point, 250 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 1: it's very much a matter of cultural differences, where in 251 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 1: American working culture, because of this difference between confidence and competence, 252 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,760 Speaker 1: the people who make it up to the top aren't 253 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 1: necessarily the most competent. They might just be the most confident. 254 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 1: And so there is this this phenomenon where the system 255 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,920 Speaker 1: as it stands, at least in American corporate life, doesn't 256 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:12,720 Speaker 1: always reward people for the characteristics that organizations really care about. 257 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 1: M Yeah, that's interesting. Well, we we want to talk 258 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 1: more about the unspoken rules and you know, get into 259 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,160 Speaker 1: some of what they are and talk about how you 260 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 1: can you know, think about those so that you can 261 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,120 Speaker 1: improve your work habits inside of the place where you're working. 262 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 1: And we'll get to yea some more questions with Gorik 263 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: about that right after this break. All right, we're back. 264 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 1: We're speaking with go working about his book The Unspoken 265 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 1: Rules of Career Success as our topic today, and your 266 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 1: book is it's kind of a how to guide. There 267 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 1: are things like we like we said earlier that like 268 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 1: managers expect you to implicitly know, but many of these 269 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 1: things are never explo Lea's hot in your first chapter 270 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 1: in your book, it's it's all about the three cs. 271 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 1: You've already mentioned one of them, which is competence, but 272 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 1: the other ones are commitment and compatibility. You sort of 273 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: introduced this as the framework for the book, And so 274 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 1: why do you feel that it is just so important 275 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: to prove yourself in all three of these areas? Specifically, Yeah, 276 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,480 Speaker 1: it's because when we show up in the workplace and 277 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:24,320 Speaker 1: I define workplace as in an interview, in your first 278 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 1: day in a new role, and frankly thereafter until you retire, 279 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 1: the people around you, your clients, partners, managers, coworkers, they're 280 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:40,080 Speaker 1: sizing you up and they're asking themselves three questions. Question 281 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 1: one is can you do this job well? Which is competence. 282 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 1: Question two is are you excited to be here? Which 283 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 1: is commitment? And question three is do we get along? 284 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:58,360 Speaker 1: Which is compatibility? Competence, commitment, compatibility. The three c's your job, frankly, 285 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: all of our jobs, it's to convince the people around 286 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 1: us to answer yes to all three questions all the time. Um, 287 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:10,200 Speaker 1: and I'll maybe augment my my statement earlier by saying 288 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,440 Speaker 1: that supposedly the three c's count in the realm of 289 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 1: dating as well, so it may not just be a 290 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:19,760 Speaker 1: workplace concept, could it potentially be a life concept. That's 291 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 1: something that's a more recent shower thought for you. Now, Yeah, 292 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: I feel like, actually I heard you refer to like 293 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:30,640 Speaker 1: marriage advice and how building compatibility with co workers can 294 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 1: be similar to building compatibility inside of like a long 295 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 1: term partnership, Like, yeah, do you think there are some 296 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 1: similarities there? Yeah, I'm thrilled you're mentioning this because this 297 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 1: is actually one of my favorite ideas from the book, 298 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 1: even though I don't spend all that much time talking 299 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:47,200 Speaker 1: about it. It's this idea of bids, which is an 300 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,680 Speaker 1: idea that was created by a psychologist and a marriage 301 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:57,120 Speaker 1: expert named Dr John Gottman. Dr John Gottman observed couples 302 00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 1: that stay together and have happy marriages and compared them 303 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: to couples who end up separating. And his question was 304 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 1: what separates those who stayed together from those who separate, 305 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 1: and he found that the lowest common denominator it was 306 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 1: something called bids. Where I'll illustrate it with an example 307 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 1: where if your significant other says something like I'm hungry, 308 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:23,360 Speaker 1: and let's say you're driving down the freeway, You've got 309 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 1: three options you can either pull off of the McDonald's 310 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:31,439 Speaker 1: this one right exactly, you can ignore the bid, so 311 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,159 Speaker 1: just keep driving, pretend as if they didn't say anything. 312 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,919 Speaker 1: Or the third one is you can smack down that 313 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:39,960 Speaker 1: bid and you can say, didn't you just eat? Or 314 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,360 Speaker 1: aren't you trying to lose weight? Don't do that one? 315 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:48,320 Speaker 1: And uh, as you might be able to guess there's 316 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:53,160 Speaker 1: a right answer to to this question. I suspect that 317 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,560 Speaker 1: you all are thinking of the right answer now, but 318 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 1: just to toss it back to you, what's your guess? 319 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, what you're feeling like? Uh like something? 320 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 1: I'm like very like analytical. It's all right, are you 321 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 1: hungry in like the next two minutes? Hungry? Are you 322 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,480 Speaker 1: talking in like the next two hours? You can run 323 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,199 Speaker 1: along trip, you know, sometimes you just want to make 324 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 1: good time, or you might be like, I brought a 325 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,320 Speaker 1: granola bar. It's in my backpack, let me grab before 326 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 1: you Exactly, so I can already tell that you're you're 327 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:21,960 Speaker 1: in positive relationship territory, because according to this research, the 328 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:26,040 Speaker 1: right answer is to recognize the bid, which you both 329 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:29,440 Speaker 1: have done, and to positively embrace this bid, which you 330 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:34,119 Speaker 1: have also both done, and this is what is the 331 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:38,040 Speaker 1: lowest common denominator to what makes for a happy relationship 332 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 1: in marriage. And yes, this is a marriage concept, but 333 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:45,040 Speaker 1: as I think about relationship building more broadly and career 334 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,439 Speaker 1: building more broadly, I think we can translate this idea 335 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:53,480 Speaker 1: of bidding into the workplace, where every email, every meeting 336 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:57,160 Speaker 1: that you're invited to, every exchange of eye contact, that 337 00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,639 Speaker 1: too is a bid. It's an invitation. It's a hidden 338 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 1: opportunity for you to step up, build a relationship that 339 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:09,480 Speaker 1: may not have otherwise existed, make an impact, and potentially 340 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:13,879 Speaker 1: grow your career. And so this bidding idea is one 341 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,879 Speaker 1: that I've been thinking about a lot because and and 342 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 1: maybe this comes back to the first generation low income 343 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:22,159 Speaker 1: college students that that I advise at Harvard, where I 344 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 1: can't help but think that we all, over the course 345 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:29,560 Speaker 1: of our lives, are almost walking down a similar art 346 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 1: gallery together, and we're all looking at the same painting, 347 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 1: but we're coming to two different conclusions around what this 348 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:39,199 Speaker 1: painting depicts. One of us could see this painting and 349 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: see the boats in the foreground or the sunset in 350 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 1: the background. Someone else could see the trees in the distance. 351 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,360 Speaker 1: And I think of this walking down an art gallery 352 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,720 Speaker 1: slash observing a painting comparison is apt for real life 353 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 1: because over the course of our everyday lives, we're going 354 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,800 Speaker 1: to be faced with so many bids, so many opportunities. 355 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 1: But it takes a special mindset and awareness to be 356 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,440 Speaker 1: able to recognize these bids and to embrace these bits. 357 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,119 Speaker 1: That's the key to to getting in and getting ahead. 358 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 1: That's going to be the key to working with others, especially. 359 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:17,200 Speaker 1: I mean, I guess if you're constantly slamming down there bid, Yeah, 360 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,199 Speaker 1: that's not gonna go well, doesn't lead to very good 361 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 1: team work. And maybe if you're working by yourself, that's 362 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,720 Speaker 1: something that you don't have to consider quite as much. 363 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 1: But certainly if you're working with a partner or working 364 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,719 Speaker 1: on a team, you've got to keep that in mind. Gorik. 365 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,479 Speaker 1: One of the unspoken rules that you mentioned in your 366 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,600 Speaker 1: book proactivity, What does that look like? Why? Why is 367 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,679 Speaker 1: this so important when it comes to getting ahead in 368 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 1: your career? M H. Well, for the early career, folks, 369 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,200 Speaker 1: I I like to say that school is about keeping up, 370 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:49,640 Speaker 1: so not procrastinating, whereas work in life is about stepping up. 371 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:54,240 Speaker 1: It's about going the extra mile. It's about looking around corners, 372 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 1: it's about asking how can I be helpful and then 373 00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:00,960 Speaker 1: ultimately being helpful. And when it comes to a getting 374 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,480 Speaker 1: ahead in the workplace, whether you're striving for a promotion, 375 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:08,200 Speaker 1: more important responsibilities, the respect of your co workers, better relationships, 376 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,639 Speaker 1: and expanded network. So much of this comes down to 377 00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:15,919 Speaker 1: not just being reactive but proactive, So being the person 378 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:20,160 Speaker 1: that says, hey, I noticed this, how can I be helpful? 379 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:24,880 Speaker 1: Or I noticed this? How we considered that? Or hey, 380 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 1: I was thinking about options A, B and C. I 381 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,440 Speaker 1: was thinking of B what do you think? Which is 382 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 1: a very different way of interacting with your coworkers compared 383 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 1: to saying, hey, Joel, Matt, what do we do next, 384 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,040 Speaker 1: in which case a lot of managers will say, well, 385 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,639 Speaker 1: what do you think? You kind of want to have 386 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 1: that be able to offer up a solution from the 387 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,560 Speaker 1: get go right, and it is one of these unspoken 388 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,160 Speaker 1: norms in the workplace where these high performers at work 389 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,639 Speaker 1: are ones who aren't just going to their managers and 390 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 1: co workers with problems, but are coming to the table 391 00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 1: with proposals and solutions. A part of being proactive is 392 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 1: thinking ahead and having the ability to tell your own 393 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,919 Speaker 1: story and tell it well. And you kind of talk 394 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,480 Speaker 1: about that in the book. Why do you feel like 395 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,680 Speaker 1: that is so important? And especially some of us maybe 396 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,800 Speaker 1: we're raised in cultures where talking about ourselves was something 397 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,280 Speaker 1: that was frowned on. It's always like you're always defecting. 398 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:21,640 Speaker 1: But you have to be able to talk about yourself well, right, yes, 399 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,080 Speaker 1: And it's the first question you'll get in every interview, 400 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 1: which is which is, tell me about yourself. As they're 401 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:33,119 Speaker 1: sitting down in the chairs, tell me about yourself. I 402 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:37,480 Speaker 1: can see the hiring manager right now, exactly. And it's 403 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 1: it's a nerve racking question because if you just take 404 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,200 Speaker 1: it at face value, which I did, and so many 405 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,879 Speaker 1: students that I advised still do, which is, okay, tell 406 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 1: you about myself. So do you want to know about 407 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,399 Speaker 1: my hometown? Are you asking about my hobbies? What I 408 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 1: ate for breakfast this morning? It's this ambiguous question, but 409 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:01,200 Speaker 1: there is an unspoken way of answering this question, which 410 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:04,159 Speaker 1: is in the form of what's called the hero's journey, 411 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:08,119 Speaker 1: which is a concept by Joseph Campbell where he looked 412 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:12,679 Speaker 1: at the the tales that have lasted the test of 413 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 1: time and he's looked at, you know, the Anakin Skywalkers 414 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,720 Speaker 1: of the world, the Harry Potters of the world, the 415 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: Mulans of the world, etcetera. And all of these heroes 416 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,000 Speaker 1: and heroines they have a past, a present in the 417 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 1: future where there's a spark that led to this journey. 418 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,679 Speaker 1: Starting in the first place, there's a journey that this 419 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 1: hero or heroin goes down of slaying dragons and hopping 420 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:42,159 Speaker 1: over fire pits, all in the interest of pursuing some 421 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 1: broader goal. And when people are asking tell me about yourself, 422 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,119 Speaker 1: they're actually in some ways asking for your hero's journey, 423 00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:53,080 Speaker 1: where they're asking you to say something like, you know, 424 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:58,120 Speaker 1: I've always been interested in climate change. As someone who 425 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,560 Speaker 1: grew up in a coastal community. I saw my dad, 426 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:09,399 Speaker 1: who was a fisherman, struggle to make meetas quota season 427 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 1: after season after season, and over the course of growing 428 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:18,240 Speaker 1: up and pursuing a a degree in environmental science, I 429 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,800 Speaker 1: started realizing that, Wow, it's not just an issue that 430 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: my dad is facing, but it's a problem that all 431 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,280 Speaker 1: of humanity is and will be facing. So as I 432 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:29,920 Speaker 1: think about what I'd like to do in the future, 433 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:34,159 Speaker 1: I'd love to combine my interest in environmentalism with my 434 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 1: training in data science to be able to help the 435 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,680 Speaker 1: world make more data driven decisions around how to navigate 436 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:46,520 Speaker 1: this crisis. I just totally made that up. My dad 437 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 1: is not a fisherman, of but but I just looking 438 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,400 Speaker 1: together these different bits and pieces of your life that 439 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,440 Speaker 1: helped tell a story. And I think sometimes it takes 440 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 1: a little it takes some forethought on the front end 441 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 1: before you get into that interview to be able to 442 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:05,119 Speaker 1: tell that story well, because otherwise it's just bits and pieces, 443 00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,080 Speaker 1: it's fragments, and you want to be able to weave 444 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:11,800 Speaker 1: it together right, exactly exactly, So what I think of, 445 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 1: of course, you don't want to sound all two canned 446 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,040 Speaker 1: um and as if you're reading off a script. So 447 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,400 Speaker 1: what I like to do is just have a collection 448 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: of stories in my mind. Um where these are, and 449 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,360 Speaker 1: as I think about the other more common questions you'll get, 450 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,760 Speaker 1: it's tell me about a time when right, it's tell 451 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,040 Speaker 1: me about a time when you had conflict in the workplace, 452 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:34,639 Speaker 1: or tell me about a time when you had to 453 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,400 Speaker 1: step up, or tell me about a time when you 454 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,720 Speaker 1: had to own a project from start to finish. Well, 455 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,920 Speaker 1: all of those things are in some ways, also as 456 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,680 Speaker 1: asking for your hero's journey. So having a bank of 457 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 1: what sparked your interest, what you've done to further this interest, 458 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:55,880 Speaker 1: and where you'd like to combine things going forward can 459 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: help you almost pull ingredients out of the fridge to 460 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:02,160 Speaker 1: cook up a dish depending on whatever people want to eat. Yeah, well, 461 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 1: we kind of are talking about thinking ahead here a 462 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,600 Speaker 1: little bitcase. It seems like so much of excelling at 463 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 1: work and getting the job done is thinking ahead. It's 464 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 1: it's amazing. You know what feeling prepared? What that can 465 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:16,919 Speaker 1: do for a meeting or a check in with your boss? Uh? 466 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:18,920 Speaker 1: And so can you share some examples you talk about 467 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:20,479 Speaker 1: this in your book. Can you share some examples of 468 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:24,320 Speaker 1: what thinking ahead could look like for employees? Yeah? The 469 00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:27,480 Speaker 1: first one, as I think about meetings, is to mentally 470 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:32,000 Speaker 1: rehearse meetings. So before you walk into the room, asking yourself, 471 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,119 Speaker 1: who's going to be in the room, what are they 472 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 1: going to be looking for, what are they going to 473 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,000 Speaker 1: ask me for? What are they going to ask me about? 474 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 1: What's my one smart comment or one smart question, what's 475 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:49,080 Speaker 1: my point of view in this topic? And coming prepared 476 00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,119 Speaker 1: you don't have to necessarily do a book report for 477 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:54,479 Speaker 1: yourself every time, but just even the ten seconds that 478 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,080 Speaker 1: it takes to join this zoom call or teams call 479 00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:01,840 Speaker 1: or whatnot, refreshing your mind as to what your point 480 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,159 Speaker 1: of view is and who might be in the room 481 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,000 Speaker 1: and what your contribution is going to be can be 482 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:10,040 Speaker 1: the difference between you getting caught off guard and you 483 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:13,920 Speaker 1: looking like and frankly being put together. So that's one 484 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:17,040 Speaker 1: in something that we all encounter on a daily basis, 485 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:22,120 Speaker 1: which is meetings. The second is around uh thinking back 486 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 1: to the Alec Baldwin uh movie of ABC always be closing, 487 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:32,359 Speaker 1: good old school movie there. Yeah, and ABC is not 488 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:35,359 Speaker 1: just a sales concept. It's just as much an email 489 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 1: thread concept. For example, where there are some people who 490 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:43,159 Speaker 1: will take an email and toss it right back at 491 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,960 Speaker 1: you and for example ask when are you available, and 492 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:50,879 Speaker 1: then they'll say, well, I'm available next week. Well, you 493 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:55,320 Speaker 1: could push the agenda forward simply by offering your availability 494 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,880 Speaker 1: in the other person's time zone and maybe listing out 495 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 1: three five. In my case, I often will list out 496 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,680 Speaker 1: my entire week's availability. That way, all the other person 497 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,120 Speaker 1: has to do is pick a time and you're done, 498 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,080 Speaker 1: versus having to spend you know, five ten emails going 499 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:11,919 Speaker 1: back and forth and asking well what do you think? Well, 500 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,320 Speaker 1: what do you think? There's nothing more annoying than going 501 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 1: back and forth and back and forth about a time 502 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:20,399 Speaker 1: So I agree, like, yeah, just for simplicity sake and 503 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:24,080 Speaker 1: for being helpful, like tossing out those that time availability 504 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,159 Speaker 1: is like yeah, definitely one easy thing you can do 505 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:30,320 Speaker 1: to make people on your team's life a little bit easier. 506 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,760 Speaker 1: And when it comes to managing workload, you know, in 507 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,640 Speaker 1: the workplace, it's important to know the difference between what's 508 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 1: urgent and important, right you talk about that in your book, 509 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,480 Speaker 1: like how how do we distinguish between those things? And 510 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,280 Speaker 1: why is that such an important part of being an 511 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:48,800 Speaker 1: effective worker? Yes, this is probably one of the more 512 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 1: important concepts, especially as we're all juggling multiple balls at 513 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:59,960 Speaker 1: the same time. Where important I define as centrality, scrutiny, 514 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:04,560 Speaker 1: and criticality, So a lot of ease here. Um. Centrality 515 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:08,040 Speaker 1: is how core is this responsibility to your role? So 516 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 1: if this is something that you're hired to do, that's important. 517 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:14,600 Speaker 1: Scrutiny is who's paying attention? So if the CEO is 518 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 1: asking for an update, that's probably a sign that this 519 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:20,560 Speaker 1: is a high profile project and if someone's asking about it, 520 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:24,800 Speaker 1: you should be responsive to it. And then finally, criticality 521 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 1: is his this something that if this doesn't get done, 522 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 1: nothing else gets done. If so, that's important as well. 523 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:39,160 Speaker 1: And urgency I define as proximity, scrutiny, anxiety, and time sensitivity. 524 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,680 Speaker 1: So again a lot of ease here. Where proximity is 525 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,560 Speaker 1: probably the easiest to define, which is how close you 526 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,360 Speaker 1: are to the deadline if there is a deadline. Scrutiny 527 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:51,520 Speaker 1: we talked about, which is who's paying attention. Anxiety is 528 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,960 Speaker 1: something that's unspoken and unwritten, where how anxious are the 529 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,640 Speaker 1: people around you to to get things done. I think 530 00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:01,080 Speaker 1: of this as if we're driving down a freeway and 531 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 1: you're in the fast lane, but you're driving slowly and 532 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,600 Speaker 1: everyone's tailgating you. Everyone's anxious you aren't you're going too slowly. 533 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:13,000 Speaker 1: And then finally, time sensitivity is do things get harder 534 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,240 Speaker 1: as time goes on? So I think of this as 535 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 1: scheduling meetings, for example, where the longer you wait, the 536 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:22,480 Speaker 1: more people's calendars will fill up. And so the faster 537 00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 1: you get this thing scheduled, the sooner you can get 538 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,920 Speaker 1: that hold, the less anxious people will be. And it's 539 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 1: important to think about the difference between important and urgent, 540 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:34,840 Speaker 1: because what often happens is we let the urgent crowd 541 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 1: out the important. And I have a lot of examples 542 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:41,520 Speaker 1: of people who said yes to everything and felt like 543 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,320 Speaker 1: they did a lot of work, but none of that 544 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:47,320 Speaker 1: work ultimately mattered, and so come promotion time, they didn't 545 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: end up having anything to show despite them being so 546 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:53,840 Speaker 1: swamped with work. And so knowing the difference between important 547 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:57,480 Speaker 1: and urgent can be the difference between you working hard 548 00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:00,600 Speaker 1: versus smart, or you getting promoted and not from voted. Yeah, 549 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,600 Speaker 1: it's like getting all this stuff crossed off your to 550 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,960 Speaker 1: do list, but maybe most of the things that you 551 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 1: were able to accomplish it didn't really matter to the 552 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 1: people who are right above you, um or to your 553 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:15,520 Speaker 1: boss's boss. It's it's getting those those are the important 554 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:16,840 Speaker 1: things that you're you're gonna want to be able to 555 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,320 Speaker 1: show to your superiors, right, to show that you're you're 556 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,719 Speaker 1: actually effective as opposed to just someone who can accomplish tasks. 557 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,760 Speaker 1: Oh for sure. Yeah, it's coming back to the idea 558 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,320 Speaker 1: of being proactive. I mean, you don't want to be 559 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,840 Speaker 1: that rock that has to be kicked constantly, where someone 560 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:32,560 Speaker 1: kicks you a little bit your roll and then you 561 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 1: tumble and then there's a thud. That's not the person 562 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,000 Speaker 1: you want to be. Kind Of looping back to proactivity, 563 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,880 Speaker 1: it kind of made me think back to some in 564 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,400 Speaker 1: your book as well. You talk about setting expectations and 565 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:45,800 Speaker 1: how being proactive a lot of times means figuring out 566 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,760 Speaker 1: what your job is, figuring out what those expectations are. 567 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:50,760 Speaker 1: Can you touch on that a little bit? How is 568 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:54,280 Speaker 1: that going to impact your success at work? Yeah? I 569 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,320 Speaker 1: think of every job as having almost a major and 570 00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 1: a minor or a main course in a set of 571 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,960 Speaker 1: side dishes, in certain whatever analogy or a metaphor you 572 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 1: want here where we all in our day jobs have 573 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:11,440 Speaker 1: have twodus and nice to us. So as I think 574 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:15,160 Speaker 1: back to centrality one of these core tenants, to importance. 575 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:18,680 Speaker 1: If you were hired to do something, or if there's 576 00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,800 Speaker 1: a project that if this doesn't get done, your head 577 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:25,120 Speaker 1: is on the guillotine. That's all of a sudden important. 578 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,280 Speaker 1: And and so when you first join a role or 579 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,959 Speaker 1: when you're first approaching a project, that can be helpful 580 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,840 Speaker 1: to think about, Okay, where do I need to be perfect, 581 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 1: because this is really what's going to be scrutinized, and 582 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,200 Speaker 1: where do I only need to be good enough where 583 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,000 Speaker 1: maybe I can cut some corners or not treat this 584 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 1: so urgently or not spend so much time on on 585 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:50,320 Speaker 1: on this and so one of the questions that often 586 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:52,840 Speaker 1: gets overlooked when you're joining a new team or entering 587 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:56,080 Speaker 1: a new role is to ask your manager, Hey, what 588 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,960 Speaker 1: do you expect me to have done or accomplished in 589 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,720 Speaker 1: by the end of my first three months or six 590 00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:05,800 Speaker 1: months or a year, or what do you consider high 591 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:11,280 Speaker 1: priorities and maybe mediocre priorities? Um, I guess people don't 592 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,680 Speaker 1: generally like to think of things as low priorities, So 593 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:15,960 Speaker 1: I hesitate to maybe drop that in your first conversation 594 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,600 Speaker 1: with your manager. What's the stuff I shouldn't care about 595 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,800 Speaker 1: at all? Okay, let's get real here. So I mean, 596 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,360 Speaker 1: so much of this is is around doing this hint, 597 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,480 Speaker 1: h nudge nudge of Hey, what can I kind of 598 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,480 Speaker 1: cut corners on? Which is going to keep you saying. 599 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,600 Speaker 1: But you have to sort of approach this conversation in 600 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,680 Speaker 1: a in a polite, politically correct way, which is asking, hey, 601 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:37,720 Speaker 1: what's top priority? Because I want to make sure I'm 602 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:39,760 Speaker 1: doing a good job of that exactly. Yeah, that and 603 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,440 Speaker 1: that can be difficult when you have a job that 604 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,120 Speaker 1: encompasses a lot of responsibilities and you're looking at your 605 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,560 Speaker 1: job description and you see all these things. But what 606 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:48,920 Speaker 1: it sounds like you're trying to do here is getting 607 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,160 Speaker 1: your your boss, your supervisor to boil it all down 608 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,880 Speaker 1: for you. Like, just like you said, at the end 609 00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:56,400 Speaker 1: of three months, what what has to be done, what 610 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 1: would what would be nice to have accomplished. I think 611 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,280 Speaker 1: that's all smart. We've got a few more questions that 612 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,480 Speaker 1: we want to ask you here right after the breaks. 613 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:04,920 Speaker 1: I feel like so far we've kind of touched on 614 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,440 Speaker 1: ways to get your career kicked off right uh, And 615 00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,080 Speaker 1: so after the break, we're actually we want to ask 616 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,440 Speaker 1: some questions about kind of moving on from a career 617 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:15,040 Speaker 1: when it comes to looking, you know, towards the next 618 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,120 Speaker 1: step in your career. So we'll get to all those 619 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:28,239 Speaker 1: right after this break. All right, we're back to the break. 620 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 1: We're still talking with gorek Ing about the unspoken rules 621 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,600 Speaker 1: of career success, and match just hinted to this. We're 622 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,640 Speaker 1: gonna talk about maybe moving on from a job you're 623 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,759 Speaker 1: you're not so interested in anymore. And Grek, you said 624 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,520 Speaker 1: that actually, ideally your next job is one that you 625 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,880 Speaker 1: don't even have to apply for. That sounds that sounds 626 00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:49,400 Speaker 1: pretty nice. You talk about positioning yourself so that opportunities 627 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,160 Speaker 1: are flowing to you, how do you actually make that 628 00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:56,200 Speaker 1: happen in reality? Yeah, this is one of the more 629 00:34:56,239 --> 00:35:00,320 Speaker 1: important concepts because it's really speaking to not just putting 630 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:04,399 Speaker 1: your head down, but being strategic about maneuvering your way 631 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,040 Speaker 1: from where you are to where you want to go. 632 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,920 Speaker 1: And I'll illustrate with an example that unfortunately didn't make 633 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,120 Speaker 1: it into the book, but it's of a late twenties 634 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:17,800 Speaker 1: someomething who had zero acting experience, had zero experience in Hollywood, 635 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:21,080 Speaker 1: but wanted to break into the entertainment scene and his 636 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,560 Speaker 1: journey actually last five years. So he also had patients 637 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:29,160 Speaker 1: in addition to the three c's where he was working 638 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:35,239 Speaker 1: as a business analyst unrelated at all to the entertainment field. 639 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:38,799 Speaker 1: But what he did was he went to entertainment conferences 640 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:42,359 Speaker 1: and strategically sat beside the people that he wanted to meet. 641 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:47,040 Speaker 1: He would introduce himself and strike up a conversation with 642 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:51,120 Speaker 1: those who matter. He'd get their business cards or their 643 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:55,319 Speaker 1: emails and send a thank you email. He'd follow up 644 00:35:55,360 --> 00:36:00,480 Speaker 1: with them with life updates. He'd pass on opportunit unities 645 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:04,960 Speaker 1: that these individuals may be interested in. He dug through 646 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,360 Speaker 1: his university and even his high school yearbook in search 647 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,880 Speaker 1: of people who we're even remotely connected to the entertainment 648 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,960 Speaker 1: scene in l A. And then finally he just cold 649 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:20,920 Speaker 1: emailed like mad, and over the course of just putting 650 00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,399 Speaker 1: himself out there in all these different ways and making 651 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,600 Speaker 1: in a habit, he ended up meeting someone who five 652 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,120 Speaker 1: years later ended up reaching out to him and saying, Hey, 653 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:33,080 Speaker 1: what are you looking for? And actually, as nicely ties 654 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,800 Speaker 1: back to our earlier conversation about the hero's journey, because 655 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,080 Speaker 1: when this person reached out and asked what are you 656 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:43,640 Speaker 1: looking for, they're asking for your hero's journey. And this 657 00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,560 Speaker 1: person ended up saying, while I've done this and this, 658 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,719 Speaker 1: this is where I'd like to go. The person who 659 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,840 Speaker 1: reached out ended up saying, actually, this is exactly the 660 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:55,160 Speaker 1: role that I'm looking to hire for. Let me forward 661 00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:58,440 Speaker 1: your resume over to HR. That's so much better than 662 00:36:58,480 --> 00:36:59,719 Speaker 1: what I would have done. I would have just like 663 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,400 Speaker 1: looked up like Kate Planchett and Brad pitt On LinkedIn 664 00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:04,279 Speaker 1: and I would have liked tried to try to friend 665 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,279 Speaker 1: them there, but I'm sure you may have done that 666 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:09,760 Speaker 1: as well. Okay, okay one of the movie star home tours, 667 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,719 Speaker 1: like I'll get out here, I start yelling from out 668 00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:14,759 Speaker 1: in front of the fence. Uh, well go. You know 669 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,080 Speaker 1: you kind of mentioned going to these different conferences sitting 670 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,719 Speaker 1: down next to the people who you're hoping to get 671 00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:22,320 Speaker 1: to know. That sort of sounds like finding a mentor 672 00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,120 Speaker 1: to a certain extent, right, because if you can, you know, 673 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,759 Speaker 1: if you hit it off and they like you and 674 00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,360 Speaker 1: it's a conversation you can continue, if that's an email 675 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,560 Speaker 1: chain that continues for a while, that can be somebody 676 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:34,920 Speaker 1: who can mentor you. And so how important do you 677 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:37,120 Speaker 1: think that is? And you know, this is one small 678 00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:38,920 Speaker 1: example of what a mentor might look like, and so 679 00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,839 Speaker 1: I'm interested to hear just maybe some other examples too. 680 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,600 Speaker 1: But how important is it? And and how do you 681 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,680 Speaker 1: find the right mentor for you? Uh? And then actually 682 00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,760 Speaker 1: make that connection? Say it's an industry where you aren't 683 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:52,239 Speaker 1: able to sit down next to that person you know 684 00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:55,279 Speaker 1: at a conference, how do you reach out beyond your 685 00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,279 Speaker 1: current network. And I think the first thing actually is 686 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:05,960 Speaker 1: to to define mentor in a less scary way. Where 687 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:09,120 Speaker 1: when I was first introduced the to the to the 688 00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:11,719 Speaker 1: term and the concept of a mentor, I thought, wow, like, 689 00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:15,200 Speaker 1: I don't know anyone in high places. But when I 690 00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:20,359 Speaker 1: redefined mentor not as some hot shot person who's high 691 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:25,359 Speaker 1: up and therefore inaccessible. If I instead define mentor as 692 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:29,680 Speaker 1: someone who know something you don't know, or someone who 693 00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,759 Speaker 1: can help you figure out what you don't know, you 694 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:35,880 Speaker 1: don't know but should know, I start realizing that actually 695 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,000 Speaker 1: a mentor could be anybody. My classmates are mentors, my 696 00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:43,080 Speaker 1: friends are mentors, family members are mentors. And what it 697 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:47,160 Speaker 1: takes to find these mentors and to nurture these relationships, 698 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,959 Speaker 1: it involves what I call climbing the relationship ladder, where 699 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,960 Speaker 1: if you imagine a ladder with different wrungs, at the 700 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,640 Speaker 1: very bottom are strangers, and just by definition, most people 701 00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,239 Speaker 1: in the world are going to be strangers to you. 702 00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:05,920 Speaker 1: But over the course of recognizing bids and embracing bids, 703 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:09,920 Speaker 1: you can turn someone who's otherwise a stranger into an acquaintance. 704 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:13,200 Speaker 1: And maybe that's a matter of opening the door for 705 00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:17,440 Speaker 1: someone or holding the door open, or thanking someone who 706 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,799 Speaker 1: delivered an especially good presentation, or asking a question at 707 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,720 Speaker 1: an event and following up, or sending a thank you email, 708 00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:29,560 Speaker 1: or just simply d m ng someone over Teams or 709 00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:32,600 Speaker 1: Zoom or any other video chat platform that we may 710 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,920 Speaker 1: be using during our work from home days. All of 711 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:39,719 Speaker 1: these microactions are actually elevating someone from stranger status to 712 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:43,359 Speaker 1: acquaintance status, and then from acquaintance status, you can then 713 00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,440 Speaker 1: follow up and have maybe a one on one conversation, 714 00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,720 Speaker 1: in which case they become your allies where you're looking 715 00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:52,439 Speaker 1: out for them and they're looking at for you. And 716 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,120 Speaker 1: over the course of nurturing those relationships, you may have 717 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:57,560 Speaker 1: a couple of people who you may end up having 718 00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:02,520 Speaker 1: deeper conversations with. These come your mentors. And then finally, 719 00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:06,000 Speaker 1: if you're looking up the chain of command in your organization, 720 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,799 Speaker 1: there are people who are called sponsors, who are people 721 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,799 Speaker 1: who are a part of those promotion committees, who really 722 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:15,239 Speaker 1: are high up in your organization and who can bang 723 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:18,160 Speaker 1: the table and say, hey, we need to absolutely give 724 00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,520 Speaker 1: this opportunity to Joel and Matt. I would trust them 725 00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:23,200 Speaker 1: with my life and what it takes to get these 726 00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:26,279 Speaker 1: people up isn't to just throw them up there. I 727 00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,759 Speaker 1: think these are maybe the people that give networking a 728 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:32,000 Speaker 1: bad name, people who meet you for the first time 729 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:36,080 Speaker 1: and are maybe overly transactional, but who bring you up 730 00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:38,799 Speaker 1: this relationship ladder, one rung at a time. So I 731 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,160 Speaker 1: think it actually nicely brings us back full circle to 732 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:45,000 Speaker 1: where we began, which is finding these hidden opportunities to 733 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:48,879 Speaker 1: turn people who are otherwise strangers into acquaintances, following up, 734 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:52,920 Speaker 1: sending thank you emails, digging through databases, and doing all 735 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,080 Speaker 1: of these all the time as a habit. Yeah, I 736 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,319 Speaker 1: like that, And I like to the way you kind 737 00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,560 Speaker 1: of talk about mendership and how you can have like 738 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,640 Speaker 1: a few different mentors. It it doesn't have to be sometimes, 739 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:04,480 Speaker 1: I guess growing up, I always felt like asking someone 740 00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:05,960 Speaker 1: to be your mentor was like asking them to be 741 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,200 Speaker 1: a third parent to you or something like that. Um, 742 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,759 Speaker 1: and it feels like this this big ask. And I 743 00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:12,680 Speaker 1: could see if someone came up with me and was like, 744 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,960 Speaker 1: will you be my mentor, that I would just be 745 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:16,600 Speaker 1: freaked out a little bit. And I think that there's 746 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,719 Speaker 1: like a soft way of kind of finding someone who 747 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,760 Speaker 1: can help mentor you without it being this uber formal 748 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,719 Speaker 1: um relationship that maybe a lot of people might not 749 00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,279 Speaker 1: want to partake in. Uh, I want to ask you 750 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,759 Speaker 1: to grek about, like right now, what's happening kind of 751 00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,160 Speaker 1: in the workplace has been called the Great resignation. A 752 00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:37,640 Speaker 1: lot of people ready to move on to a new job. 753 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:41,759 Speaker 1: So when it comes to leaving, though, there's a right 754 00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,160 Speaker 1: way and a wrong way to leave. So how would 755 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,600 Speaker 1: you recommend someone who is thinking about, you know, moving 756 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,560 Speaker 1: on just to another competitor in the same space that 757 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 1: they're in, or moving on to a completely different industry, 758 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,680 Speaker 1: or going to work for themselves, Like, however they depart, 759 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:59,239 Speaker 1: how can they leave graciously? I think of this as 760 00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,319 Speaker 1: a bit of a a litmus test or or three 761 00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,319 Speaker 1: crates herea that I would encourage folks to to think 762 00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:11,040 Speaker 1: about where A you want to leave your team not 763 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:16,560 Speaker 1: feeling blindsided. Be you want to leave your team in 764 00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,719 Speaker 1: a position where they can keep the show running without you. 765 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,200 Speaker 1: And see, you want to leave the team in a 766 00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:24,520 Speaker 1: position where they've got line of sight to a successor 767 00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:27,880 Speaker 1: who can fill your role. And it's a bit of 768 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,080 Speaker 1: a tall order to achieve all three. And I realized 769 00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:33,680 Speaker 1: that all three may not be attainable all the time. 770 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:38,120 Speaker 1: But I'd also say that number one is more important 771 00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,560 Speaker 1: than number two, which is more important than number three. 772 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,719 Speaker 1: Where the most important thing is to not leave your 773 00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:47,600 Speaker 1: folks blindsided. The second most important is to make sure 774 00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:50,560 Speaker 1: that there's continuity, that things aren't just gonna fall to 775 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:55,200 Speaker 1: pieces with you absent. And then three is if you 776 00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:58,160 Speaker 1: can maybe even help find someone who can who can 777 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,360 Speaker 1: take on your role in the future. At all depends 778 00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:04,960 Speaker 1: on the extent of the relationship that you'd want to maintain, 779 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:08,000 Speaker 1: the reputation that you want to leave behind. Where if 780 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,960 Speaker 1: you want to not only not burn the bridge, but 781 00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:17,160 Speaker 1: leave that bridge smelling like flowers, do all three. If 782 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:20,239 Speaker 1: it's a normal situation, do one and two. And if 783 00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:22,799 Speaker 1: you want to leave amicably, which I suspect many of 784 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:27,480 Speaker 1: us do because reputation is so important, then make sure 785 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,279 Speaker 1: that you're at least not leaving people blindsided. Right, Yeah, 786 00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:33,120 Speaker 1: you know, at the very least do number one. So 787 00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:35,600 Speaker 1: how do you do that then, because obviously you probably 788 00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:38,640 Speaker 1: don't want to forecasts. It's like, hey, I'm gonna be 789 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,839 Speaker 1: out here in six months. That sounds like too much time. 790 00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:43,040 Speaker 1: But if you're like, like, no, actually, you're out of here, 791 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,000 Speaker 1: there's Friday. Yeah, but then if you go in that 792 00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,319 Speaker 1: morning and you're like, this is my last day, uh, 793 00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:50,239 Speaker 1: And so obviously there's there's some place in between. And 794 00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,440 Speaker 1: so from a time frame standpoint, what's what do you 795 00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,640 Speaker 1: what do you feel like is ideal? Uh? And then 796 00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,200 Speaker 1: what are the best ways of actually going about making 797 00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:01,160 Speaker 1: that announcement? Yeah, you know, this is a bit of 798 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,359 Speaker 1: a tricky question because I know that if you go 799 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:05,879 Speaker 1: onto Google, people will say, well, it's two weeks. If 800 00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:07,600 Speaker 1: it's two weeks and one day, that's too long, And 801 00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,759 Speaker 1: it's two weeks minus one day, it's too short. I 802 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,200 Speaker 1: actually came up with this sort of three pronged litmus 803 00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:18,920 Speaker 1: test as a way of hopefully helping folks think about 804 00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,440 Speaker 1: what it means to not surprise your co workers. For 805 00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:26,640 Speaker 1: your own individual context, it maybe two weeks for your 806 00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:29,960 Speaker 1: co workers to not feel blindsided. It maybe a month. 807 00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:33,439 Speaker 1: I've left jobs before where I've actually given that three 808 00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:36,080 Speaker 1: month notice because I knew that my role was one 809 00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:40,000 Speaker 1: that was hard to to to backfill. So I'm going 810 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:41,640 Speaker 1: to give you a bit of that cop out answer 811 00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:45,000 Speaker 1: of saying, make sure you're mindful of these three and 812 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:49,080 Speaker 1: you will likely for your own circumstances. Come upon is 813 00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:50,959 Speaker 1: it two weeks? Is at three weeks? Is at four weeks? 814 00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:54,120 Speaker 1: Kind of thing. Yeah. In a recent article Goork, you 815 00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:57,600 Speaker 1: mentioned that everyone is the captain of their own career, 816 00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:59,440 Speaker 1: and if you don't make it happen, it's not going 817 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:02,520 Speaker 1: to happen. And I think that is probably a good 818 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,480 Speaker 1: way to encourage us to take the reins of our 819 00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:09,000 Speaker 1: own lives and of our our futures and what it 820 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,440 Speaker 1: looks like to continue to progress either in the career 821 00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:14,680 Speaker 1: that we're in or to move on to something you know, 822 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:16,839 Speaker 1: in the in the near future that we're more more 823 00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:19,960 Speaker 1: excited about. What final advice do you have for How 824 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:23,000 Speaker 1: the Money listeners when it comes to steering their career 825 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:27,319 Speaker 1: towards success. Well, given that this is the how to 826 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:35,280 Speaker 1: Money podcasts, that's us. I'll frame this props around capital, 827 00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,080 Speaker 1: where I know in a number of prior episodes you 828 00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,880 Speaker 1: talk about the trade off between time and money, as 829 00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:46,239 Speaker 1: as as two forms of capital or currency. As I 830 00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:49,319 Speaker 1: think about capital, I think of it as things that 831 00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,719 Speaker 1: we can spend and accumulate. Maybe not time, although maybe 832 00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:54,160 Speaker 1: you can save a bit of time. We have a 833 00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:58,080 Speaker 1: finite amount of time. When I start thinking about capital 834 00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:01,200 Speaker 1: in the context of our careers, I start thinking about 835 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:05,160 Speaker 1: how there are really three additional forms of capital. One 836 00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,239 Speaker 1: is human capital, which is what you know and can do. 837 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:12,759 Speaker 1: The second is social capital, which is who you know. 838 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:16,839 Speaker 1: And then the final one is reputational capital, which is 839 00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,799 Speaker 1: who knows you and what they know you for. And 840 00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:21,959 Speaker 1: when I think about our careers, it's really a matter 841 00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:25,759 Speaker 1: of playing your cards well across these five forms of 842 00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:30,640 Speaker 1: capital and making sure that you're making the right trade 843 00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:34,080 Speaker 1: offs where maybe it's not all about the money, and 844 00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,560 Speaker 1: it's about the human capital, the learning that you'll get. 845 00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,600 Speaker 1: Maybe it's about signing up for this project so you 846 00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:43,319 Speaker 1: can meet more people. Maybe it's about building a good 847 00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:46,680 Speaker 1: reputation so that you can use this opportunity as a 848 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:50,200 Speaker 1: stepping stone to that next opportunity. So being mindful of 849 00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:55,640 Speaker 1: how you're pulling these levers can hopefully help folks better 850 00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:59,440 Speaker 1: navigate these unfamiliar situations. That is great advice and makes 851 00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:01,040 Speaker 1: sense because as there are going to be I mean, 852 00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:03,439 Speaker 1: we should probably be paying attention to all of them. 853 00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,359 Speaker 1: But I think there are certain forms of capital here 854 00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,719 Speaker 1: that you mentioned that are going to be more important 855 00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:11,840 Speaker 1: to us as individuals, there might be these different areas 856 00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:14,880 Speaker 1: that we want to pursue more than others because they 857 00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:16,719 Speaker 1: just mean more to us. And so I think kind 858 00:47:16,719 --> 00:47:18,760 Speaker 1: of starting with that end in mind can definitely inform 859 00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,360 Speaker 1: the decisions that we make as we advanced through our careers. 860 00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:25,920 Speaker 1: This has been a really insightful conversation. Where can can 861 00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,160 Speaker 1: folks go to learn more about you as well as 862 00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,120 Speaker 1: what else you have going on? Yeah, the best way 863 00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,760 Speaker 1: to stay in touch is through my website. It's gorik 864 00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:36,680 Speaker 1: dot com. That's g O R I c K dot 865 00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,080 Speaker 1: c O M. I'm on the different social media platforms 866 00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:44,480 Speaker 1: which you'll see on my website, whether it's Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, 867 00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:47,480 Speaker 1: even uh and especially LinkedIn. So feel free to reach 868 00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:49,839 Speaker 1: out and I would love to stay in touch. This 869 00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:51,239 Speaker 1: is actually a bid, by the way, this is a 870 00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:54,600 Speaker 1: bid to your audience that I see reaching out takes 871 00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:58,719 Speaker 1: advantage exactly. Awesome, Glary, Well, hey, thanks so much for 872 00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:00,680 Speaker 1: joining us on the show. This is a lot of fun. 873 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:03,359 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. This is an amazing time. Thank 874 00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:07,799 Speaker 1: you alright, Joel, what a very insightful conversation. I feel 875 00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:09,040 Speaker 1: like we just had here at go work. I feel 876 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,279 Speaker 1: like his book, it's a book telling you how to 877 00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:14,160 Speaker 1: do everything but your job, right, Like, like, we all 878 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,960 Speaker 1: have different professions, and we all were essentially hired for 879 00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,760 Speaker 1: one specific task or maybe a couple of tasks related 880 00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,279 Speaker 1: to the one job that you're supposed to do, but 881 00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:24,600 Speaker 1: go Work's book is just all about all the other 882 00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,680 Speaker 1: things that we have to do in addition to that 883 00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,200 Speaker 1: one task to make sure that we're successful, to make 884 00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:31,439 Speaker 1: sure that we're compatible with with those around us. Yeah, 885 00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:33,560 Speaker 1: and I feel like it's a lot of his advice, 886 00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:35,960 Speaker 1: Like he said, he drew some from marriage advice and 887 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,040 Speaker 1: what it looks like to be, uh, you know, a 888 00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,960 Speaker 1: good coworker in the workplace, And so I think some 889 00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:44,520 Speaker 1: of the advice he gives is is eminently applicable to 890 00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,200 Speaker 1: the work you're doing and how to do it well, 891 00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:49,640 Speaker 1: but it's also applicable to know being a better human being, 892 00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:52,279 Speaker 1: communicating better with the people that you know live under 893 00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,120 Speaker 1: the same roof with, or family members who you know 894 00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,439 Speaker 1: live always away. Like it's just, yeah, it's a really 895 00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,799 Speaker 1: good book with a lot of helpful stuff, but yeah, 896 00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:01,719 Speaker 1: what is you're a big takeaway from that combo? So 897 00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:04,360 Speaker 1: I liked how he redefined what a mentor is, because 898 00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:09,560 Speaker 1: essentially it seems like this very daunting, intimidating word. Oh 899 00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:11,480 Speaker 1: sort of like you said, you know, like will you 900 00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:13,879 Speaker 1: be my mentor? It's like, oh man, I'm freaking out 901 00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:15,000 Speaker 1: over here, like I don't know if I'm ready for 902 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,399 Speaker 1: that kind of responsibility. Right I've already got three kids. 903 00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:19,839 Speaker 1: I don't even another one, or like before you had kids, 904 00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,319 Speaker 1: are just like, oh, I'm only twenty eight, like like 905 00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,719 Speaker 1: I'm not ready for this, uh, this kind of commitment. 906 00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:26,680 Speaker 1: But I love how he defined it, which is it 907 00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:29,399 Speaker 1: can be as simple as finding somebody who is one 908 00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,920 Speaker 1: step down further down the path than you are. It 909 00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,319 Speaker 1: can be somebody who just knows one more thing than 910 00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:37,319 Speaker 1: you do, and they could be a mentor. To me, 911 00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:39,880 Speaker 1: that doesn't sound like a mentor. But maybe what that 912 00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:42,040 Speaker 1: means is we should just completely get rid of that term, 913 00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:45,480 Speaker 1: because I'm afraid that that's keeping people from reaching out 914 00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,760 Speaker 1: to people and thinking about those relationships in that way. 915 00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:52,319 Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be this Obi Wan Andakin Skywalker 916 00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,319 Speaker 1: relationship where where you're passing the skills down from you know, 917 00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:59,400 Speaker 1: I'm mature Jedi nights down to like a kid in training. 918 00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:03,520 Speaker 1: Will you be my Yoda. But yeah, I just found 919 00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:06,560 Speaker 1: that specifically really helpful the way he redefined what a 920 00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:09,120 Speaker 1: mentor could be in your life. Yeah, yeah, that was good. Yeah. 921 00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:10,839 Speaker 1: So how about you, what was your big takeaway from 922 00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:12,920 Speaker 1: this convo? Okay, I think one of the biggest things 923 00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:14,839 Speaker 1: that stood out to me was when he was talking 924 00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,400 Speaker 1: about when you're going to college, you're keeping up, and 925 00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:19,600 Speaker 1: when you get in the workplace, it's all about stepping up. 926 00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:22,080 Speaker 1: And I can totally identify with that, because if you 927 00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,680 Speaker 1: bring that college mentality in, like I just gotta show 928 00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:27,360 Speaker 1: up to class on time, turning my paper by the deadline, 929 00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,560 Speaker 1: you feel like you're you are just trying to get 930 00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:33,799 Speaker 1: by and you're trying to hope, hopefully at least keep 931 00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:36,520 Speaker 1: up that be average or whatever. And you know, in 932 00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:39,000 Speaker 1: the workplace, there is if you want to get ahead, 933 00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:41,040 Speaker 1: like if you want to succeed, if you want a promotion, 934 00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:42,759 Speaker 1: if you want to be able to move up the 935 00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:46,840 Speaker 1: ladder and hopefully increase your earnings, which on how the money, Like, 936 00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,160 Speaker 1: we're down with you increasing your earnings. We think that's 937 00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,640 Speaker 1: a good thing. Then there are things that you have 938 00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:53,400 Speaker 1: to pay attention to and you can't treat it like 939 00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,279 Speaker 1: you did college. You have to be more about stepping up, 940 00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:58,840 Speaker 1: and that does involve proactivity, right. You're gonna have to 941 00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:01,000 Speaker 1: work on your communication style and you're gonna have to 942 00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:04,319 Speaker 1: think ahead when it comes to what jobs are the 943 00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,399 Speaker 1: most crucial, which once you you need to get done. 944 00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:08,839 Speaker 1: You even have to change your approach to meetings, which 945 00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:10,920 Speaker 1: is one of the things he said in this interview. 946 00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:12,480 Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't know. I think that's a really 947 00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,480 Speaker 1: important distinction to make. If you're still kind of thinking 948 00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:18,600 Speaker 1: about your work like you did going to college, in 949 00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,759 Speaker 1: all likelihood, you're gonna be kind of stuck and you're 950 00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:23,239 Speaker 1: gonna feel stuck um after after a little while. Yeah, 951 00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:25,960 Speaker 1: be average, which you said you can't. You can't get 952 00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:27,960 Speaker 1: into Harvard with a B average. No, no, no, I'm 953 00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,759 Speaker 1: not saying go aage. You gotta have a four part 954 00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:33,840 Speaker 1: for everyone out there. But I mean we're kind of 955 00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:36,040 Speaker 1: joking about just keeping up in school, but even four 956 00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:38,279 Speaker 1: folks who are in school, if you are able to 957 00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:41,200 Speaker 1: even at a at an earlier age, to switch that mentality, 958 00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:44,319 Speaker 1: I think from keeping up two stepping up mentality. If 959 00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:46,239 Speaker 1: you're in school and you're stepping up, you're going to 960 00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:49,000 Speaker 1: be the class president. You're gonna stand out from all 961 00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:51,080 Speaker 1: of the rest. You're gonna be the one getting the 962 00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:54,400 Speaker 1: job offers before you've even graduated. And that's the kind 963 00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,719 Speaker 1: of situation, uh, you want to find yourself in if 964 00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:58,799 Speaker 1: you're a college graduate. But definitely, like you said, those 965 00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:00,880 Speaker 1: are the things that you need to do within a 966 00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:03,560 Speaker 1: professional environment as well. But let's go ahead and get 967 00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,319 Speaker 1: back to the beer that you and I enjoyed on 968 00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,840 Speaker 1: this episode today. You and I both had a Belgian 969 00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:12,480 Speaker 1: Aloha and this is a Belgian triple with hibiscus brewed 970 00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,560 Speaker 1: in Lewis Center, Ohio. Never heard of this brewery. This 971 00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:18,279 Speaker 1: one was sent to us by Scotts. Thank you so 972 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:20,480 Speaker 1: much for donating this one plus another one that we're 973 00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:23,880 Speaker 1: gonna enjoy here on the podcast. Joel, what were your thoughts? Yeah, man, 974 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,200 Speaker 1: this one was light and refreshing, and it really did 975 00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:28,279 Speaker 1: have like a little bit of Belgium and a little 976 00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:30,799 Speaker 1: bit of Hawaii mixed in, you know. It had had 977 00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:34,000 Speaker 1: some of those Belgian notes of a classic triple, some 978 00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:36,200 Speaker 1: of that like Belgian spice thrown in there, while at 979 00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:38,480 Speaker 1: the same time the hybiscus gave it a little bit 980 00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:41,160 Speaker 1: more of a tropical vibe it was. I would say 981 00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:43,520 Speaker 1: it was refreshing, it was tasty. Um. I yeah, I 982 00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,799 Speaker 1: enjoyed it, and it's not necessarily the kind of beer 983 00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,359 Speaker 1: I normally go for. Belgian triples aren't normally my thing. 984 00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:50,959 Speaker 1: I think sometimes those Belgian spices are actually a little 985 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:52,800 Speaker 1: overwhelming to my pallette. But this one was kind of 986 00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:56,400 Speaker 1: muted in that way, so I appreciated because of the hibiscus. 987 00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,640 Speaker 1: I assume those those Uhltal notes that the hibiscus was 988 00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:01,719 Speaker 1: able to bring to this beer. Like when we poured it, 989 00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:03,319 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is a really pretty beer. 990 00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:05,480 Speaker 1: It was like halfway between like pink and orange, was 991 00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,279 Speaker 1: like a rose or something. It is also on the 992 00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,120 Speaker 1: can it actually says that it says this is a 993 00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:12,920 Speaker 1: French slash Belgian, a le that's rosie, bubbly and strong 994 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,600 Speaker 1: on the finish. Totally true. It definitely kind of had 995 00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,920 Speaker 1: those rose vibes going on. I really enjoyed this one, 996 00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:21,719 Speaker 1: and I agree, yeah, it didn't have those heavy kind 997 00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:24,480 Speaker 1: of triple clove kind of spices. It was almost more 998 00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:27,480 Speaker 1: just sort of like a muted Belgian. Herbally notes that 999 00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,239 Speaker 1: it was able to show up with but either way, 1000 00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:32,479 Speaker 1: we really enjoyed this one, and Scott, thank you again 1001 00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:35,120 Speaker 1: for sending this one for us to enjoy on the podcast, 1002 00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:36,600 Speaker 1: no doubt. All right, well that's gonna do it for 1003 00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:39,360 Speaker 1: this episode. Folks who want show notes and links to 1004 00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:41,759 Speaker 1: go Rick's book and his website, you can go to 1005 00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:43,799 Speaker 1: our website at how to money dot com. That's right, 1006 00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:46,360 Speaker 1: and so that's gonna be it, dude. Until next time, 1007 00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:48,640 Speaker 1: Best friends Out, Best Friends Out,