WEBVTT - Monstrous Correspondences with Dr. Anton Jessup

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Stuff to Blow your Mind, a production of

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<v Speaker 1>My Heart Radio Greetings. My name is Dr Anton Jess, traveler, adventurer,

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<v Speaker 1>former horror host, and of course professor of monsters studies

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<v Speaker 1>here at the University. I'm joining you once more via

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<v Speaker 1>dubbed VHS tape from the University basement, having just returned

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<v Speaker 1>from an exciting expedition to the Antarctic oh. We set

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<v Speaker 1>out four years ago with a crew of twenty fighting men,

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<v Speaker 1>the latest high tech equipment, and a talking mountain guerrilla

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<v Speaker 1>named Sally with a powered glove. Alas here, I have

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<v Speaker 1>returned with only this bloody crate and of course the

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<v Speaker 1>power glove, which was much too expensive to leave behind

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<v Speaker 1>after the event. But I'm not here to present my

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<v Speaker 1>findings just yet. I'm here to respond to the various

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<v Speaker 1>and dusty missives that have piled up here in the

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<v Speaker 1>university basement over the past four years. My assistant Maxwell

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<v Speaker 1>has selected only the best letters and telegrams from the basket,

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<v Speaker 1>just those inquiries pertaining to monstrous biology and belief. The

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<v Speaker 1>rest will be shredded and worked into a fine pulp.

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<v Speaker 1>So without further ado, let's dive into the mail bag.

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<v Speaker 1>I appatus. D. Wolfman writes in with the following, Dear

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<v Speaker 1>Doctor Jessup, as a collector of cursed and peculiar items,

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<v Speaker 1>I recently came into the possession of two infamous haunted objects,

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<v Speaker 1>the Delver mirror and the Lasser glass. Each of these

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<v Speaker 1>two mirrors has its own deadly a reputation, and to

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<v Speaker 1>stare into either is to risk one's sanity and one's life.

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<v Speaker 1>I was wondering, however, what would happen if I were

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<v Speaker 1>to set these mirrors parallel to each other at a

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<v Speaker 1>forty five degree angle in a periscope for my own

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<v Speaker 1>private submarine. Do you think the mirrors would cancel each

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<v Speaker 1>other out in this arrangement? Yours in christ Iaptus de Wolfman. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>Mr Wolfman, first of all, congratulations on obtaining not one,

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<v Speaker 1>but two world famous haunted mirrors. As for your periscope idea,

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's quite terrific and you should certainly give

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<v Speaker 1>it a try no matter what. But do remember that

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<v Speaker 1>in this configuration you're only actually looking into one mirror

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<v Speaker 1>at a time. In this case, it would be the

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<v Speaker 1>mirror position in the lower half of the periscope. You

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<v Speaker 1>would only see a reflection of the world reflected a

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<v Speaker 1>second time in the bottommost mirror, or at least this

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<v Speaker 1>is my understanding of haunted mirrors and their optics. I

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<v Speaker 1>theorized that either glass may be safely viewed somewhat through

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<v Speaker 1>the reflection of another mundane mirror, though I have never

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<v Speaker 1>had the chance to test this out. Please right back

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<v Speaker 1>in and let me know how it goes. And I

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<v Speaker 1>hope your private submarine has a terrific maiden voyage. All right?

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<v Speaker 1>Next message, Selina Ambrose Frankenmouth. The fifth writes in with

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<v Speaker 1>the following, in a beautiful cursive script, I might add,

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<v Speaker 1>Dear doctor Jessup, I have a question about oozes. How

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<v Speaker 1>is it that gelatinous cubes came to take on cubicle shapes?

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<v Speaker 1>While I understand that they frequent constructed tunnels, surely these

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<v Speaker 1>have not been around long enough to have impacted their evolution.

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<v Speaker 1>What am I missing here? Sincerely, as they have the fifth,

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<v Speaker 1>this is an excellent question. Certainly, within the natural world,

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<v Speaker 1>constructed tunnels are not quite old enough to impact OU's

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<v Speaker 1>evolution as we understand it, And of course it's possible

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<v Speaker 1>that we do not understand it sufficiently. Magical possibilities aside.

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<v Speaker 1>Of course, there is something worth considering here. While we

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<v Speaker 1>often assume that squares and cubes are uncommon in nature,

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<v Speaker 1>there is actually some evidence that cube like shapes often

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<v Speaker 1>result from fragmentation. And in fact, I turn now to

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<v Speaker 1>an actual paper from a real world, a non monstrous

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<v Speaker 1>academic pursuit. The twenty twenty paper Plato's Cube and the

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<v Speaker 1>Natural Geometry of Fragmentation by democos at All, published in

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<v Speaker 1>the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, presents data

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<v Speaker 1>to support the idea that we live in a world

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<v Speaker 1>world of fragments, and that quote appropriately average properties of

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<v Speaker 1>most natural three D fragments reproduce the topological cube unquote. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>this study did not concern itself with ouses and monsters

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<v Speaker 1>at all, but it does give us pause. Perhaps the

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<v Speaker 1>cubicle slime living in the constructed hallway is mere happenstance.

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<v Speaker 1>If the US is but a fragment of some greats,

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<v Speaker 1>then something resembling a cube may actually be the resulting form.

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<v Speaker 1>Our understanding could be muddled by examples of uses that

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<v Speaker 1>are generally more fluid or shifting in overall form compared

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<v Speaker 1>again to the gelatinous cube. Next message dear ghoul or Goblin,

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<v Speaker 1>Congratulations you've won a trip on our premier ghost ship.

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<v Speaker 1>Despite the unfortunate decapitations of our last cruise, we cannot

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<v Speaker 1>be shut down. We're back and better than ever. So

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<v Speaker 1>bring your best dancing shoes and get ready to cut

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<v Speaker 1>loose and dig into the all you can eat buffet.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also hear a talk from doctor Frankenstein, author

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<v Speaker 1>of Man or Monster, navigating self care through mob mentalities.

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<v Speaker 1>Dreadfully yours Ghastly Cruises LLC. Well, I am in need

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<v Speaker 1>of travel by sea for my next expedition. No dancing shoes, however,

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<v Speaker 1>something to think about. Next message, this one reads salutations

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<v Speaker 1>doctor Jessup. I am writing with the technology question. Just

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<v Speaker 1>some backstory. I was murdered as a young child, and

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<v Speaker 1>now I extract vengeance via phone and VHS. In recent years,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm finding it harder and harder to spread my carefully

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<v Speaker 1>crafted horrific images. They are to die for. I am

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<v Speaker 1>struggling to adapt to new technologies. No one answers my calls.

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<v Speaker 1>I am given to understand people now prefer something called

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<v Speaker 1>texts and emojis. Another problem. The VHS my preferred method

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<v Speaker 1>of death. Destruction in despair and art house images is

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<v Speaker 1>quote unquote outdated and no longer in use in much

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<v Speaker 1>of the world. At best, people who come into contact

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<v Speaker 1>with my terrible tape have no device with which to

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<v Speaker 1>play it. At worst, they do not even know its function,

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<v Speaker 1>and sometimes outLike ridicule me when they find out. This

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<v Speaker 1>is the very opposite of my intent. I know I

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<v Speaker 1>need to adapt, but I feel that esthetically the DVD

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<v Speaker 1>is not as menacing as the tape. I am unclear

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<v Speaker 1>about the meaning of streaming, but the limits of the

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<v Speaker 1>spectral realm make it difficult. Also, how does one go viral?

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<v Speaker 1>You have seven days? Amaraw, My dear Samarrow, I share

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<v Speaker 1>your frustration. I am of the personal opinion that the

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<v Speaker 1>VHS tape is indeed peak media technology. Easy to produce,

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<v Speaker 1>to duplicate, rewind and fast forward, impossible to lose. It

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<v Speaker 1>will not slide underneath another piece of furniture. It cannot

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<v Speaker 1>be stuck in a book. You know what when you

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<v Speaker 1>see it. The DVD came along, and while yes, I

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<v Speaker 1>like that, they look like little spinning saw blades. But

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<v Speaker 1>now media isn't even physical anymore. How can a thing

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<v Speaker 1>without substance even be cursed. I think the answer might

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<v Speaker 1>be found in other haunters, Sanchez, Bloody Mary, who makes

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<v Speaker 1>use of not a particular mirror, but all mirror reflections.

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<v Speaker 1>I think you might need to expand it. Maybe manifest yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>say on all smart refrigerator screens. Or perhaps you could

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<v Speaker 1>crawl out of the oversized dash screen of those two

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<v Speaker 1>SLA cars. I keep hearing so much about give it

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<v Speaker 1>a try. Not all adaptation need be painful and scary. Ah,

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<v Speaker 1>And I hope that you you find the right avenue

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<v Speaker 1>for your continued artistic expression. Next message, Sir Jessip. I

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<v Speaker 1>never do this, but I am at the end of

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<v Speaker 1>my rope. I am a demon, and my generation's long

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<v Speaker 1>scheme of possessing a body and kidnapping a first born

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<v Speaker 1>madle child has almost come to fruition. However, I find

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<v Speaker 1>myself increasingly questioning why I am doing this. The humans

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<v Speaker 1>I'm terrifying are quite frankly annoying. I can't be the

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<v Speaker 1>only one who is tired of using e V P

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<v Speaker 1>Luigi boards and passive aggressive methods to communicate. Must I

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<v Speaker 1>listen to another annoying conversation and the other day they

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<v Speaker 1>put baby powder on the floor, or to see my hoothprints,

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<v Speaker 1>baby powder impossible to get off, not to mention the sneezing. Ultimately,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just questioning my purpose. I know I'm close to

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<v Speaker 1>the finished line, and a part of me would delight

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<v Speaker 1>in further torturing their souls. But I am also just

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<v Speaker 1>a demon who, at the end of a very long day,

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<v Speaker 1>is tired and unclear about why I wanted to possess

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<v Speaker 1>a human in the first place, when I have much

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<v Speaker 1>more power and sway in hell. Please advise Frustrated in Fresno.

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<v Speaker 1>Dear frustrated in Fresno, I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.

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<v Speaker 1>Perhaps you've considered other vessels for your demonic self. Automobiles,

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<v Speaker 1>including the two sla may be possessed. I believe it

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<v Speaker 1>has been done before. You might also consider a bed

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<v Speaker 1>or an industrial laundry press. But if you really want

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<v Speaker 1>to get a modern humans attention, perhaps you could possess one.

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<v Speaker 1>They're so called smartphones. I hear they are quite captivating.

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<v Speaker 1>They're simply glue to These devices. Might be something there

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<v Speaker 1>that you could use. Perhaps you wouldn't even have to

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<v Speaker 1>physically appear deal with the baby powder and so forth.

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<v Speaker 1>Why do any of that? Why bother with all that

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<v Speaker 1>mess when you could simply develop a demonic app to

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<v Speaker 1>do your bidding. Next message, this one reads ectoplasm enlargement

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<v Speaker 1>and then there's a series of exes and then a

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<v Speaker 1>series of of of exclamation points. It's please click here,

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<v Speaker 1>guaranteed result these this is not even spelled correctly. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>that is the last message in the basket here that

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<v Speaker 1>Maxwell has prepared for me. It looks like there are

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<v Speaker 1>perhaps others uh that need transcribing or translating out of

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<v Speaker 1>a strange and forgotten tongues, but those will have to

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<v Speaker 1>wait for another day. So I bid you adio. I

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<v Speaker 1>have a an expedition to pack for a trip to

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<v Speaker 1>prepare for, and no I still have this crate to

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<v Speaker 1>deal with. So toulu and see you in the future. Hey, everybody, uh,

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<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to let you know that regular listener

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<v Speaker 1>mail will probably return next week. I want to give

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<v Speaker 1>it thanks to Dr Anton jessiph for filling in for

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<v Speaker 1>Joe and me this week, and thanks to Annie Reese,

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<v Speaker 1>co host of Saber and Stuff Mom Never Told You,

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<v Speaker 1>for composing most of the delightful questions and emails that

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<v Speaker 1>the good doctor read in this episode in the future.

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<v Speaker 1>If you want to get in touch with Joe and Me,

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<v Speaker 1>if you want to get in touch with Dr Anton, Jessop,

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<v Speaker 1>even you can email us at contact at stuff to

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<v Speaker 1>Blow your Mind dot com. Stuff to Blow Your Mind

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<v Speaker 1>is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts

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