Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff to Blow your Mind, a production of
Speaker 1: My Heart Radio Greetings. My name is Dr Anton Jess, traveler, adventurer,
Speaker 1: former horror host, and of course professor of monsters studies
Speaker 1: here at the University. I'm joining you once more via
Speaker 1: dubbed VHS tape from the University basement, having just returned
Speaker 1: from an exciting expedition to the Antarctic oh. We set
Speaker 1: out four years ago with a crew of twenty fighting men,
Speaker 1: the latest high tech equipment, and a talking mountain guerrilla
Speaker 1: named Sally with a powered glove. Alas here, I have
Speaker 1: returned with only this bloody crate and of course the
Speaker 1: power glove, which was much too expensive to leave behind
Speaker 1: after the event. But I'm not here to present my
Speaker 1: findings just yet. I'm here to respond to the various
Speaker 1: and dusty missives that have piled up here in the
Speaker 1: university basement over the past four years. My assistant Maxwell
Speaker 1: has selected only the best letters and telegrams from the basket,
Speaker 1: just those inquiries pertaining to monstrous biology and belief. The
Speaker 1: rest will be shredded and worked into a fine pulp.
Speaker 1: So without further ado, let's dive into the mail bag.
Speaker 1: I appatus. D. Wolfman writes in with the following, Dear
Speaker 1: Doctor Jessup, as a collector of cursed and peculiar items,
Speaker 1: I recently came into the possession of two infamous haunted objects,
Speaker 1: the Delver mirror and the Lasser glass. Each of these
Speaker 1: two mirrors has its own deadly a reputation, and to
Speaker 1: stare into either is to risk one's sanity and one's life.
Speaker 1: I was wondering, however, what would happen if I were
Speaker 1: to set these mirrors parallel to each other at a
Speaker 1: forty five degree angle in a periscope for my own
Speaker 1: private submarine. Do you think the mirrors would cancel each
Speaker 1: other out in this arrangement? Yours in christ Iaptus de Wolfman. Well,
Speaker 1: Mr Wolfman, first of all, congratulations on obtaining not one,
Speaker 1: but two world famous haunted mirrors. As for your periscope idea,
Speaker 1: I think it's quite terrific and you should certainly give
Speaker 1: it a try no matter what. But do remember that
Speaker 1: in this configuration you're only actually looking into one mirror
Speaker 1: at a time. In this case, it would be the
Speaker 1: mirror position in the lower half of the periscope. You
Speaker 1: would only see a reflection of the world reflected a
Speaker 1: second time in the bottommost mirror, or at least this
Speaker 1: is my understanding of haunted mirrors and their optics. I
Speaker 1: theorized that either glass may be safely viewed somewhat through
Speaker 1: the reflection of another mundane mirror, though I have never
Speaker 1: had the chance to test this out. Please right back
Speaker 1: in and let me know how it goes. And I
Speaker 1: hope your private submarine has a terrific maiden voyage. All right?
Speaker 1: Next message, Selina Ambrose Frankenmouth. The fifth writes in with
Speaker 1: the following, in a beautiful cursive script, I might add,
Speaker 1: Dear doctor Jessup, I have a question about oozes. How
Speaker 1: is it that gelatinous cubes came to take on cubicle shapes?
Speaker 1: While I understand that they frequent constructed tunnels, surely these
Speaker 1: have not been around long enough to have impacted their evolution.
Speaker 1: What am I missing here? Sincerely, as they have the fifth,
Speaker 1: this is an excellent question. Certainly, within the natural world,
Speaker 1: constructed tunnels are not quite old enough to impact OU's
Speaker 1: evolution as we understand it, And of course it's possible
Speaker 1: that we do not understand it sufficiently. Magical possibilities aside.
Speaker 1: Of course, there is something worth considering here. While we
Speaker 1: often assume that squares and cubes are uncommon in nature,
Speaker 1: there is actually some evidence that cube like shapes often
Speaker 1: result from fragmentation. And in fact, I turn now to
Speaker 1: an actual paper from a real world, a non monstrous
Speaker 1: academic pursuit. The twenty twenty paper Plato's Cube and the
Speaker 1: Natural Geometry of Fragmentation by democos at All, published in
Speaker 1: the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, presents data
Speaker 1: to support the idea that we live in a world
Speaker 1: world of fragments, and that quote appropriately average properties of
Speaker 1: most natural three D fragments reproduce the topological cube unquote. Now,
Speaker 1: this study did not concern itself with ouses and monsters
Speaker 1: at all, but it does give us pause. Perhaps the
Speaker 1: cubicle slime living in the constructed hallway is mere happenstance.
Speaker 1: If the US is but a fragment of some greats,
Speaker 1: then something resembling a cube may actually be the resulting form.
Speaker 1: Our understanding could be muddled by examples of uses that
Speaker 1: are generally more fluid or shifting in overall form compared
Speaker 1: again to the gelatinous cube. Next message dear ghoul or Goblin,
Speaker 1: Congratulations you've won a trip on our premier ghost ship.
Speaker 1: Despite the unfortunate decapitations of our last cruise, we cannot
Speaker 1: be shut down. We're back and better than ever. So
Speaker 1: bring your best dancing shoes and get ready to cut
Speaker 1: loose and dig into the all you can eat buffet.
Speaker 1: You can also hear a talk from doctor Frankenstein, author
Speaker 1: of Man or Monster, navigating self care through mob mentalities.
Speaker 1: Dreadfully yours Ghastly Cruises LLC. Well, I am in need
Speaker 1: of travel by sea for my next expedition. No dancing shoes, however,
Speaker 1: something to think about. Next message, this one reads salutations
Speaker 1: doctor Jessup. I am writing with the technology question. Just
Speaker 1: some backstory. I was murdered as a young child, and
Speaker 1: now I extract vengeance via phone and VHS. In recent years,
Speaker 1: I'm finding it harder and harder to spread my carefully
Speaker 1: crafted horrific images. They are to die for. I am
Speaker 1: struggling to adapt to new technologies. No one answers my calls.
Speaker 1: I am given to understand people now prefer something called
Speaker 1: texts and emojis. Another problem. The VHS my preferred method
Speaker 1: of death. Destruction in despair and art house images is
Speaker 1: quote unquote outdated and no longer in use in much
Speaker 1: of the world. At best, people who come into contact
Speaker 1: with my terrible tape have no device with which to
Speaker 1: play it. At worst, they do not even know its function,
Speaker 1: and sometimes outLike ridicule me when they find out. This
Speaker 1: is the very opposite of my intent. I know I
Speaker 1: need to adapt, but I feel that esthetically the DVD
Speaker 1: is not as menacing as the tape. I am unclear
Speaker 1: about the meaning of streaming, but the limits of the
Speaker 1: spectral realm make it difficult. Also, how does one go viral?
Speaker 1: You have seven days? Amaraw, My dear Samarrow, I share
Speaker 1: your frustration. I am of the personal opinion that the
Speaker 1: VHS tape is indeed peak media technology. Easy to produce,
Speaker 1: to duplicate, rewind and fast forward, impossible to lose. It
Speaker 1: will not slide underneath another piece of furniture. It cannot
Speaker 1: be stuck in a book. You know what when you
Speaker 1: see it. The DVD came along, and while yes, I
Speaker 1: like that, they look like little spinning saw blades. But
Speaker 1: now media isn't even physical anymore. How can a thing
Speaker 1: without substance even be cursed. I think the answer might
Speaker 1: be found in other haunters, Sanchez, Bloody Mary, who makes
Speaker 1: use of not a particular mirror, but all mirror reflections.
Speaker 1: I think you might need to expand it. Maybe manifest yourself,
Speaker 1: say on all smart refrigerator screens. Or perhaps you could
Speaker 1: crawl out of the oversized dash screen of those two
Speaker 1: SLA cars. I keep hearing so much about give it
Speaker 1: a try. Not all adaptation need be painful and scary. Ah,
Speaker 1: And I hope that you you find the right avenue
Speaker 1: for your continued artistic expression. Next message, Sir Jessip. I
Speaker 1: never do this, but I am at the end of
Speaker 1: my rope. I am a demon, and my generation's long
Speaker 1: scheme of possessing a body and kidnapping a first born
Speaker 1: madle child has almost come to fruition. However, I find
Speaker 1: myself increasingly questioning why I am doing this. The humans
Speaker 1: I'm terrifying are quite frankly annoying. I can't be the
Speaker 1: only one who is tired of using e V P
Speaker 1: Luigi boards and passive aggressive methods to communicate. Must I
Speaker 1: listen to another annoying conversation and the other day they
Speaker 1: put baby powder on the floor, or to see my hoothprints,
Speaker 1: baby powder impossible to get off, not to mention the sneezing. Ultimately,
Speaker 1: I'm just questioning my purpose. I know I'm close to
Speaker 1: the finished line, and a part of me would delight
Speaker 1: in further torturing their souls. But I am also just
Speaker 1: a demon who, at the end of a very long day,
Speaker 1: is tired and unclear about why I wanted to possess
Speaker 1: a human in the first place, when I have much
Speaker 1: more power and sway in hell. Please advise Frustrated in Fresno.
Speaker 1: Dear frustrated in Fresno, I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.
Speaker 1: Perhaps you've considered other vessels for your demonic self. Automobiles,
Speaker 1: including the two sla may be possessed. I believe it
Speaker 1: has been done before. You might also consider a bed
Speaker 1: or an industrial laundry press. But if you really want
Speaker 1: to get a modern humans attention, perhaps you could possess one.
Speaker 1: They're so called smartphones. I hear they are quite captivating.
Speaker 1: They're simply glue to These devices. Might be something there
Speaker 1: that you could use. Perhaps you wouldn't even have to
Speaker 1: physically appear deal with the baby powder and so forth.
Speaker 1: Why do any of that? Why bother with all that
Speaker 1: mess when you could simply develop a demonic app to
Speaker 1: do your bidding. Next message, this one reads ectoplasm enlargement
Speaker 1: and then there's a series of exes and then a
Speaker 1: series of of of exclamation points. It's please click here,
Speaker 1: guaranteed result these this is not even spelled correctly. Well,
Speaker 1: that is the last message in the basket here that
Speaker 1: Maxwell has prepared for me. It looks like there are
Speaker 1: perhaps others uh that need transcribing or translating out of
Speaker 1: a strange and forgotten tongues, but those will have to
Speaker 1: wait for another day. So I bid you adio. I
Speaker 1: have a an expedition to pack for a trip to
Speaker 1: prepare for, and no I still have this crate to
Speaker 1: deal with. So toulu and see you in the future. Hey, everybody, uh,
Speaker 1: I just wanted to let you know that regular listener
Speaker 1: mail will probably return next week. I want to give
Speaker 1: it thanks to Dr Anton jessiph for filling in for
Speaker 1: Joe and me this week, and thanks to Annie Reese,
Speaker 1: co host of Saber and Stuff Mom Never Told You,
Speaker 1: for composing most of the delightful questions and emails that
Speaker 1: the good doctor read in this episode in the future.
Speaker 1: If you want to get in touch with Joe and Me,
Speaker 1: if you want to get in touch with Dr Anton, Jessop,
Speaker 1: even you can email us at contact at stuff to
Speaker 1: Blow your Mind dot com. Stuff to Blow Your Mind
Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts
Speaker 1: my heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.