WEBVTT - You're A Bad Catholic

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<v Speaker 1>Don't answer the phone, Elvis durand the Elvis durand phone.

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<v Speaker 2>Tappen, Daniello, what's this phone tap all about?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, Dorene email does and said, my sister Carol hates

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<v Speaker 3>going to church on Sundays, but she's forced to go

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<v Speaker 3>because she's the sponsor to my daughter Colleen for confirmation.

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<v Speaker 3>So you call her and you tell her that she's

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<v Speaker 3>a bad Catholic and you know it, so she can't

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<v Speaker 3>be the confirmation sponsor anymore. Okay, So Daniel's going to

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<v Speaker 3>start to call, playing the part of Mary from the church.

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<v Speaker 2>Then you'll hear Doreen call her sister Carol and we'll

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<v Speaker 2>listen in. Okay, here we go.

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<v Speaker 3>Hello, Hello, Hi, may I speak to Carol? Hi Carol,

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<v Speaker 3>This is Mary Green from the Assintiment Church church.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, church of the You you don't know the church?

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<v Speaker 3>You're going to be someone's confirmation sponsor at the church.

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<v Speaker 2>Does that refresh your memory?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>I have no idea the name of my niece's church.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, remember the name of my kids?

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<v Speaker 1>I called them all different things.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh well then, okay, anyway, that might be a little

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<v Speaker 3>problem because I need to talk to you about something

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<v Speaker 3>I know in May, the confirmation of Colleen Elizabeth Russell

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<v Speaker 3>will be taking place.

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<v Speaker 1>Huh.

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<v Speaker 3>Colleen has informed us that you hate going to church.

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<v Speaker 3>That's a start.

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<v Speaker 1>I go to church every Sunday.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm concerned because you're her confirmation sponsor, and if you're

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<v Speaker 3>not a good Catholic, then maybe we should find somebody else.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what. I would love to talk to you

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<v Speaker 1>about this, except my five year old is going to

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<v Speaker 1>school in about two minutes.

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<v Speaker 3>Can you call me tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll give you a call tomorrow morning about ten fifteen.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, great, okay, thanks, all right, bye, all right, we're

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<v Speaker 3>gonna call her back and then you're gonna do all

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<v Speaker 3>the talking.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay. Hello, Hi, I just got a phone call from

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<v Speaker 1>Church of the Assision.

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<v Speaker 3>That's my church.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well I didn't know that's the name of your church.

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<v Speaker 1>So well, it seems as though she overheard Colleen talking

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<v Speaker 1>to our friends saying that I was a joke of

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<v Speaker 1>a sponsor and I don't even go to church church,

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<v Speaker 1>I hate church. I'm forced to go to church. So

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<v Speaker 1>it's kind of true. Well, I don't really care if

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<v Speaker 1>it's true, for it isn't true. You know, she's gonna

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<v Speaker 1>have to pick another sponsor. Now. I mean, I'm honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm kind of passive if she'd have called me up

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<v Speaker 1>and tell me I'm not.

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<v Speaker 3>A good Catholic. I mean, not for nothing. But you

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<v Speaker 3>don't really go to church. I mean, so whose business

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<v Speaker 3>is that? Well, maybe you.

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<v Speaker 2>Could prove to Mary that you're a good Catholic. I

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<v Speaker 2>do you what, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>There's some good deeds or something, break through some good deeds,

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<v Speaker 1>let me die. I was so close to saying, well,

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<v Speaker 1>she's really very nice.

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<v Speaker 2>So I don't know why she would be like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yea, it only puts Colleen in a mind I could

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<v Speaker 1>give it either way.

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<v Speaker 3>Will it'd be nice if you were her sponsor.

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<v Speaker 1>Can I didn't mind that, But she's the one who's

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<v Speaker 1>messing it up, not me.

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<v Speaker 3>Let me see if I can get.

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<v Speaker 2>Her on the line.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, okay, hello, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, Hi.

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<v Speaker 3>First of all, your sister said you were upset with me,

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<v Speaker 3>which I apologize if I came across in a brash way.

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<v Speaker 3>But the fact is we need somebody who's a good

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<v Speaker 3>Catholic to be a confirmation sponsor.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't know me, and I'm a really offended that

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<v Speaker 1>you keep telling me what kind of Catholic I am,

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<v Speaker 1>and what I do and what I don't do well,

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<v Speaker 1>I apologize. I honestly, this is really upsetting to me.

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<v Speaker 1>I've never had somebody call me up but tell me

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a horrible Catholic.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm trying just to be honest.

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<v Speaker 1>How could you be honest? You don't even know me.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, she does work for the church, Carol, I mean

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<v Speaker 3>you could tell her.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a confession. I don't have to tell somebody, right.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you know, if you want to prove that you're

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<v Speaker 3>a good Catholic and you still want to be the

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<v Speaker 3>confirmation sponsor to Colleen.

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<v Speaker 2>We have a soup kitchen.

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<v Speaker 3>Where we need volunteers for community service for three weeks,

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<v Speaker 3>you work six hours a week.

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<v Speaker 1>Great, Mary, you know what, sign me up. Okay, when

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<v Speaker 1>you're watching babysit my three kids, I'll be in your

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<v Speaker 1>soup kitchen.

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<v Speaker 3>Why don't you bring your kids along to the soup kitchen.

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<v Speaker 3>They can help as well.

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<v Speaker 2>If you have an idea.

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<v Speaker 1>My six month old stir a part of soup. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>she'll vomit in and.

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<v Speaker 3>At the same time, you know what, Carol, Yeah, what

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<v Speaker 3>are you gonna tell me?

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<v Speaker 1>I won the law no, no, I'm not.

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<v Speaker 2>Going to tell you that, but I am going to

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<v Speaker 2>tell you. This is Danielle and you've just been photo.

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<v Speaker 1>Carol.

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<v Speaker 2>You are awesome.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm not a stroke.

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<v Speaker 2>Carol, You're so good. You're so good. I love you.

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<v Speaker 1>I tell your payback for a bit.

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<v Speaker 2>The Elvis Duran phone tap. This phone tab was pre

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<v Speaker 2>recorded with permission granted by all participants.

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<v Speaker 3>The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in

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<v Speaker 3>the Morning Show