1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,440 Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:08,200 Speaker 2: The Breakfast Club Morning, everybody is dj n V Jess Hilarious, 3 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:10,600 Speaker 2: Charlamage the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We got 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,720 Speaker 2: a special guest in the building. Yes, indeed we have to. 5 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 2: We have doctor Judith Joseph. 6 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 3: Welcome, Thank you so great to be here. Yes, Happy 7 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 3: Mental Health Awareness Month. 8 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,160 Speaker 2: Do you have a new book out now called high 9 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 2: Functioning Overcome your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy? 10 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,639 Speaker 1: What does hidden depression look like? 11 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 3: Ooh, so hidden depression is not like the typical depression. 12 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 3: When people think of depression, they think is someone crying? 13 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 4: I get out of bed? 14 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:39,560 Speaker 3: But hidden depression hides behind a mask of pathologically being 15 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 3: pathologically productive. So imagine you know a single mom working 16 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,840 Speaker 3: to take care of her kids, working at her job, 17 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:50,239 Speaker 3: and she cannot sow down. People depend on her, So 18 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,159 Speaker 3: what does she do. She shows up to work with 19 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 3: a smile on her face. She's showing up for others, 20 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 3: but she feels no joy. And it's something called anne hendonia. 21 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,920 Speaker 3: It's a scientific term that I study in live People 22 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 3: don't even know it exists. So hidden depression doesn't necessarily 23 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 3: look sad, but it doesn't feel joy. 24 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 4: It feels empty, and. 25 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 5: I actually, I have a friend who just experienced that, right, 26 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 5: And he called me with like like he had just 27 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 5: hit the lottery. Though it was so it was it 28 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 5: was unusual. I don't like to say weird. 29 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,040 Speaker 4: It's so unusual. 30 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 5: He called me and say, yo, I just figured something out. 31 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 5: I'm like what He was like, I've been depressed all 32 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 5: this time. 33 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 1: I'm depressed. 34 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 5: And I'm like, why you why why you you want 35 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 5: a stay or a cookie? 36 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 4: Like why are you so excited about it? Like this 37 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 4: is not good news? 38 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 5: He was like, no, no, na, like I'm not suicidal 39 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 5: or anything. I've just been burying myself in my work 40 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 5: and I am the most productive, but I'm not happy. 41 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 5: My wife she gets no attention from me. I'm not 42 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 5: like mentally there for my kids. And I just found out. 43 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 5: I was talking to my therapist and we you know, 44 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 5: and he got he was diagnosed and he has uh 45 00:01:55,880 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 5: he he's depressed. And it was so crazy because I 46 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 5: wh when you think of depression, you know, you think 47 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 5: of you know, the suicidal thoughts and you say, damn, 48 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 5: you can't get out of bed. 49 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 4: He was the opposite, but he was still depressed. So 50 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 4: I just I just found that out. 51 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,239 Speaker 3: Wow. Yeah, you know why he was happy. It was 52 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 3: because there's a term in psychology called affect labeling. When 53 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 3: you know what you're dealing with, the uncertainty of not 54 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 3: knowing how you feel just makes you feel so stressed. 55 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 3: You feel like, Okay, maybe there's something wrong with me, 56 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 3: what I have to complain about. Maybe it's my fault. 57 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 3: But when someone tells you no, what you're experiencing is 58 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 3: a hadonia, it's actually a scientific symptom. Many people struggle 59 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,960 Speaker 3: with it. Then you feel as if, Okay, it's not 60 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 3: my fault. There's a term for this. I know what 61 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,959 Speaker 3: I'm working with hare so I can do something about it. 62 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 3: And as human beings, our birthright is joy. Like joy 63 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 3: is literally built into our DNA, and if we can't 64 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 3: access that joy, that's a problem. So just because someone's 65 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 3: not getting out, not you know, in bed and crying 66 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 3: all day, doesn't mean that it's not a problem. We 67 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 3: have to address this lack of joy. 68 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,399 Speaker 1: How do you get out of it? Right? 69 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 2: So, let's say you work with somebody who bullies you 70 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:04,519 Speaker 2: all the time, says you're Spanish when you're black. You 71 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 2: know somebody who has a bad wig and you have 72 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,240 Speaker 2: to see it all the time. How do you get 73 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 2: out of that place of working with them? Because you 74 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 2: got to go to work looking at me like that. 75 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 1: You gotta make money, So how do you get out 76 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 1: of that? Because the people that don't want to work 77 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 1: with how do you get out of that? 78 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,960 Speaker 3: But you know what he's doing right now, He's accessing joy, 79 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,359 Speaker 3: being playful, being comical. He is finding a way through 80 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 3: a difficult situation by accessing joy. 81 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 1: Right. 82 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 3: But many of us just go to work and. 83 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: We do serious. 84 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 2: If you work with somebody that you don't like, but 85 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 2: you still need to get money. I'm not talking about 86 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 2: Sheelamane or just a Lauren, but when people that you 87 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 2: know don't like their job. But how do you continue 88 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 2: to go through that? Because you still need money? You 89 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 2: still got to pay for the food on the table, 90 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 2: You still gotta pay for rent, you still gotta pay 91 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 2: for your car, you still gotta pay. 92 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: For your kids. How do you get through that? What 93 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 1: do you tell people to do? 94 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 3: There's actually a term in my book called the biopsychosocial model. Right, 95 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 3: So what you're talking about and what you so eloquently said, 96 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 3: it's actually a model used by every single medical student 97 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 3: in the world. Right, the biopsychosocial is like a fingerprint. 98 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 3: We all have our fingerprints, but it's all unique. So 99 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 3: we each have a biopsychosocial. So, for example, the person 100 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 3: you're talking about, the biopsychosocial for that person, socially, what's 101 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,160 Speaker 3: happening is that they're in this stressful situation. They're not supported, 102 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 3: they're actually being you know, there's microaggressions, maybe macroaggressions at work, 103 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,640 Speaker 3: but that's just one part of why they're no longer happy. 104 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 3: It's one of the things that's draining the science of 105 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:29,600 Speaker 3: their happiness. 106 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:29,840 Speaker 4: Right. 107 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 3: The other parts of that model are the biological. So 108 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 3: maybe this person also has a medical condition like I 109 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,919 Speaker 3: don't know, diabetes, or psychologically they have past trauma. So 110 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,280 Speaker 3: all of those things play into what's taking away from 111 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:45,920 Speaker 3: their points of joy. So understanding where the stressors are 112 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 3: and what's causing you to be unhappy is important. 113 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 4: But even within. 114 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 3: Stressful situations, because I've traveled the world over thirty countries 115 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 3: looking at joy, even when people don't have running water, 116 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 3: even when they're in war zones, they can still access. 117 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 2: Joy, something that makes you happy. 118 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: With those of decisue. 119 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 3: Because joy is a survival technique. We have to access 120 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 3: joy in order to survive, not just to thrive, but 121 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 3: to survive. So you can find ways at work to 122 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,680 Speaker 3: connect with someone else. Maybe someone else is going through 123 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:15,280 Speaker 3: it with you, so you're sharing your venting. You know, 124 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 3: maybe you can use a candle at work or something 125 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 3: fragrant to stimulate the senses, or make sure that you're 126 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 3: leaving work and having lunch like a human being instead 127 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 3: of being in front of a screen. Right, there are 128 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,800 Speaker 3: things ways that you can access joy because it's a 129 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:28,679 Speaker 3: survival technique. 130 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 6: I believe that. I believe joy is survival technique. We 131 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 6: actually had liz on we were talking about that. But 132 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 6: I also feel like some people fake happy and they 133 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 6: fake joy, So what does the real joy look like? 134 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,040 Speaker 3: That's why I say, understand the science of your happiness. 135 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,839 Speaker 3: There's only one Leonard, There's only one Judith, you know, 136 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 3: ever in the history of the universe, in the future. 137 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 3: So what is it about you that makes you joyful? 138 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 3: And in my research lab, when we're studying joy, we're 139 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 3: actually adding up points. For example, if you took a 140 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 3: rest and you woke up, did you feel refreshed? That's 141 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,279 Speaker 3: a point if you were hungry and you savored your meal, 142 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 3: that's a point. If you were lonely you connected with someone, 143 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 3: that's a point. But the rest of the world is 144 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 3: so busy chasing this idea of happy. Right, I will 145 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 3: be happy when I get the perfect partner. I'll be 146 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 3: happy when a pay up on debt, I'll be happy 147 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:18,159 Speaker 3: when I have a house. The science shows us that 148 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,600 Speaker 3: even when those things happen, we're still not happy. So 149 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:24,119 Speaker 3: we have to access the points of joy that really 150 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 3: feed into our unique sense of happiness. For me, it's connection. 151 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 3: If I'm busy, if I'm speaking at places, if I'm 152 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 3: on TV all the time and I'm not connecting with 153 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 3: my family, I'm gonna be unhappy. But for you it 154 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:35,720 Speaker 3: could be something else. 155 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 6: What are the signs of hidden depression and high functioning depression. 156 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 3: Yes, so many people confuse high function depression with burnout. 157 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 3: The difference is that, you know, for burnout, let's say 158 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:49,840 Speaker 3: you go to a party and you say I'm burnt out, 159 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,960 Speaker 3: people are like, oh, me too, me three right. But 160 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 3: if you walk into a party and you say I'm depressed, 161 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 3: people are like, oh, you should do something about that, right, 162 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 3: Like like your friend right. 163 00:06:59,560 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 4: Living. 164 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 3: So when you think about burnout, right, burnout by definition 165 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 3: is an occupational hazard when though who the World Health 166 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 3: Organization classified it, it's the workplace causing the symptoms. So technically, 167 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 3: you take the person out of the workplace, they should 168 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 3: get better. With high functioning folks, even when you take 169 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 3: them out of the workplace, they're not better. What are 170 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 3: they doing. They're busying themselves on a side hustler too. 171 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 3: They're taking on somebody's problems. They can't sit still, they're 172 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 3: cleaning out their house or the garage, right, because it's 173 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 3: not the workplace. It's not something on the outside, it's 174 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:39,680 Speaker 3: something inside that's unresolved. So this hidden trauma, this unresolved pain. 175 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 3: So they're trying to outrun it by busying themselves. So 176 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 3: when they sit still, they feel empty. When they're not working, 177 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 3: they feel restless. 178 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 2: Let me ask you a question. I feel like and 179 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 2: this is a good thing, but I also feel like 180 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 2: it's a bad thing. I feel like in the last 181 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 2: ten years, so many people have been talking about all 182 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 2: these mental health issues and terms. Does it Sometimes I 183 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 2: feel like it's an overload because it's like, you know, 184 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 2: you get a pain, right, you google it and it 185 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 2: is thirty things that's wrong with you. 186 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 1: Now you're even more confused. 187 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 2: Right, is that the same thing with a lot of 188 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 2: sometimes with a lot of these terms, like when you 189 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 2: hear certain things, is now I'm depressed, Now I'm a 190 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 2: high function in depressed. Now I have anxiety. Now I 191 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 2: have this like do you feel like it's too much 192 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 2: for people? And how can people really break that all 193 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 2: down and realize what they really have and which really 194 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 2: bought them because everything sounds the same at sometimes. 195 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 3: I mean, it's a great question. But the term effect 196 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 3: labeling in psychology shows us that when you can name 197 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 3: it appropriately right, it decreases the anxiety. Think about if 198 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 3: you were in a room you know it's pitch black, 199 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,320 Speaker 3: and you heard a loud crash. Some of us would 200 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 3: start swinging, someone start screaming, someone start running. But if 201 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 3: you turn that light on and you saw what it was, 202 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 3: a osfel or some inotimant object, you feel relaxed. Why 203 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 3: Because you know what you're doing, you know what it is. 204 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:51,839 Speaker 1: Right. 205 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 3: It's the not knowing and not naming appropriately that creates 206 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 3: a lot of anxiety. So people end up just drinking 207 00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 3: a lot right to soothe that thing because they don't 208 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,719 Speaker 3: know what it is, or they end up gambling or 209 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 3: spending a lot of money or doing things busying themselves 210 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 3: to outrun this pain they don't understand. 211 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 6: And it's interesting too because you know, I think what 212 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 6: is speaking to to me anyway is the fact that 213 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 6: there was a time when nobody used to talk about 214 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 6: their mental health issues. So we went from saying we 215 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 6: don't speak about this at all. In order to eradicate 216 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,559 Speaker 6: the stigma, we got to tell our story. So now 217 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,199 Speaker 6: people are not just going out there to get help 218 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:24,560 Speaker 6: and understanding what they're dealing with. 219 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,680 Speaker 1: They're telling their stories. 220 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 3: They're telling their story. But still the older generations are 221 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 3: not as open, right, the younger ones they want to 222 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 3: talk about it. They want to feel seen, they want 223 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,320 Speaker 3: to feel connected, and many of them do sometimes inappropriately 224 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 3: use a label to connect. Right, But there's still a 225 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 3: lot of stigma. You know, the places I go, the 226 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 3: corporations I go to, it's still more accepted to say 227 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 3: burnt out than depressed. But we have to name what 228 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 3: it is because the supports are going to look very different, 229 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,800 Speaker 3: the resources look very different. 230 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,319 Speaker 6: Now, how do you know the different between somebody who's 231 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 6: staying busy as a response to trauma to somebody who's 232 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 6: actually really. 233 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 3: Busy, yes, great question. It's antedonia. You know, when you 234 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 3: ask someone who's busy but they're actually pathologically productive, they're 235 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 3: not getting joy. You know. They end up at my 236 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 3: office in Manhattan and they're like, I don't know what's wrong. 237 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 3: Everything looks good on the outside, but I just don't 238 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 3: feel joyful. Whereas someone who's actually engaged in what they're doing, 239 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 3: they got the pep in their step. They're engaged and 240 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 3: they're connected, and they're feeling as if they're getting a 241 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:26,440 Speaker 3: sense of purpose Versus when you keep doing over time 242 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 3: without actually tapping into purpose, you do feel numb. You're like, 243 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 3: why am I doing this? But you cannot stop because 244 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,839 Speaker 3: you're trying to outrun something that you don't even know 245 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:34,560 Speaker 3: is there. 246 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: Now. 247 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,200 Speaker 2: You talked about, you know, working and being at rest, 248 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:39,959 Speaker 2: So how do you know when you're at rest and 249 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 2: being okay with being at rest. 250 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 3: One of the points of joy that we measure in 251 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 3: my research lab is actually that it's called psychomorgoric at agitation. 252 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 3: It's a terrible scientific term, but what it means is 253 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 3: that you can't sit still. You just on edge. And 254 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,640 Speaker 3: when you add a points of joy, being able to 255 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:59,720 Speaker 3: be calm and not stressed is actually a point that 256 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,200 Speaker 3: many many of us leave on the table. We often think, oh, 257 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 3: that's anxiety and not depression. But no, it's almost like 258 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 3: a different side of the same coin. Right, You can't 259 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 3: be joyful if you're stressed. Do you know anyone who's 260 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,840 Speaker 3: been really stressed out who is like also joyful? No? Then, 261 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 3: and look at the monks and other countries and the gurus. 262 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 3: They may have just a mat to sleep on and 263 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,319 Speaker 3: bread and water, but they are joyful because they're at peace. 264 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,600 Speaker 3: So if you're not feeling that sense of peace and 265 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 3: you have that inner restlessness, it's really difficult to be joyful. 266 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:29,600 Speaker 2: What does everybody's piece the same piece? 267 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 1: Though? 268 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 3: It's not? And that's why I said to understand the 269 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 3: science of your happiness. In my book, I actually have 270 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 3: that model so that I democratize this information. Why are 271 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,959 Speaker 3: just the doctors and medical students holding onto this. Every 272 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:43,440 Speaker 3: patient that comes to my lab draws their own biopsychosocial right, 273 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,200 Speaker 3: So you want to figure out what are the things 274 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 3: that are taking away from my happiness? 275 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 4: Right? 276 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,280 Speaker 3: If you don't understand what's taking away their points of joy. 277 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 3: How can you understand the science of your happiness? So 278 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 3: in some cases, you're going to look at the social factors, Right, 279 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 3: someone who is partner with somebody who's toxic. I mean, 280 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:00,319 Speaker 3: they could eat all the care they want, They're still 281 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 3: going to be unhappy, right, Versus somebody who, let's say 282 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 3: psychologically they dealt with a lot of trauma in their childhood, neglected, abused. 283 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 3: We need to address that first because it's really hard 284 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 3: to act as story when you're in fight or flight. 285 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 3: And then biologically, let's say, if someone who has an 286 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 3: autoimmune condition, right, if you're constantly in a state of 287 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 3: high inflammation, your brain's not going to be happy. So 288 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 3: everyone's so unique, but we're chasing things that work for 289 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 3: other people without understanding our own science. 290 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,559 Speaker 5: And going back to what you said just a minute ago, 291 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,200 Speaker 5: when you were saying, people bury themselves in work and 292 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 5: they have to be doing something all the time. 293 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 4: They're always at their busiest. How do you I don't know, 294 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 4: how did I see? 295 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 1: Like? 296 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,920 Speaker 4: How are you supposed to feel when you do nothing? Yes? Like, 297 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,079 Speaker 4: how are you know what I'm saying? Like, how are 298 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,120 Speaker 4: you supposed to feel? And you just do nothing. 299 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:49,320 Speaker 3: My clients ask me that all the time, because high 300 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,360 Speaker 3: functioning folks have something called all or nothing thinking. When 301 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 3: you tell them that you need to slow down, they're like, well, 302 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 3: I can't stop, and I'm like, hold on a second. Stopping 303 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,199 Speaker 3: is not equivalent to slowing down. But their role, their 304 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 3: sense of their worth is so tied closely to what 305 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 3: they do. They feel like without their role, they are unlovable, 306 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 3: that they are lazy. Yeah, right, So we have to 307 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 3: challenge a lot of that. And in the PTSD, the 308 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,200 Speaker 3: post traumatic stress research that I do with combat veterans, 309 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 3: what we see is that, you know, people who are 310 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,800 Speaker 3: triggered by things like let's say a situation, a person, 311 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,120 Speaker 3: a place, you know, they avoid those things, right, But 312 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,559 Speaker 3: those of us who are pathologically productive with high function depression, 313 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,800 Speaker 3: we avoid dealing with the pain by working. So a 314 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 3: lot of it is unpacking what are you running from? Right? 315 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,680 Speaker 3: You think you're chasing this gold is happiness, but what 316 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 3: are you actually running from? 317 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 4: Right? 318 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 3: And the trauma response of I don't feel worthy without 319 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,679 Speaker 3: my role, you know, that is exactly it. They don't 320 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:48,320 Speaker 3: even realize it's tied to some past unprocessed pain. So 321 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,920 Speaker 3: a lot of times we spend going back in the past. 322 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,400 Speaker 3: I'll ask them to, you know, open up their phones 323 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,719 Speaker 3: or bring in old pictures so we can trace back 324 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 3: to a time when they actually were feeling purposeful and 325 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 3: tapping into joy, and we try to figure out and 326 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 3: unpack what was that trauma. And then we spend a 327 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 3: lot of time in grounding. 328 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:05,959 Speaker 1: Right. 329 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 3: Grounding techniques help you to calm that fight or flight 330 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,440 Speaker 3: because that busyness is you trying to outrun this past. 331 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 4: Right. 332 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,720 Speaker 3: So it doesn't like flashback, it doesn't like nightmares, but 333 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,760 Speaker 3: it's this busyness because you're trying to outrun your in 334 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 3: fight or flight. But we spend a lot of time 335 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,720 Speaker 3: with grounding, and I talk about the techniques of my book, 336 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 3: so they feel at ease when they sit still. 337 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,800 Speaker 6: We're talking to doctor Joseph Judith Joseph Us. She has 338 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 6: a new book out, High Functioning, Overcome your Hidden Depression 339 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:30,640 Speaker 6: and Reclaim Your Joy. 340 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 5: Which you gonna say, just uh, what you like live 341 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,640 Speaker 5: here in Manhattan. 342 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 4: You can't ground out there actually can. 343 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:44,200 Speaker 3: Great question, you know, I actually talk. That's a good one. 344 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 3: And I taught this course, the same one I'm teaching 345 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 3: about at the White House. 346 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 4: Right. 347 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 3: Talk about people who are in high stress situations at work. 348 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 4: Right. 349 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 3: I taught them how they can actually ground at their desk. 350 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 3: And there's a technique called the five four three two one. 351 00:14:58,880 --> 00:14:59,080 Speaker 4: Right. 352 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 3: You can do it with a beverage. 353 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 4: Like a coffee or a tea. 354 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 3: But what you do is you sit and for five 355 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,560 Speaker 3: minutes every day you practice this, you hold onto that 356 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 3: tee and you list five things you can see, so 357 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 3: you describe the cup, describe the liquid, You describe your hand, 358 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 3: the table, like you're really describing. Five things that you see, 359 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 3: the color. Four things that you feel, so you feel 360 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 3: the cup, you feel the warmth, you feel the chair, 361 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 3: You feel the ground under your feet. Three things that 362 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,400 Speaker 3: you can hear, so you may hear some wind outside, 363 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 3: you may hear music, you may hear the sound of 364 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,800 Speaker 3: the beverage. Two things that you can smell. You smell 365 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 3: the fragrances in the cup and on you. One thing 366 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,560 Speaker 3: you can taste, you sip it. If you're doing five 367 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 3: for three two one in that way, you're not thinking 368 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,800 Speaker 3: about your past pay, you're not getting trigger, you're not 369 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,080 Speaker 3: thinking about you know what's happening around you. You're so 370 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,200 Speaker 3: present and you're teaching your brain that you have the 371 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:50,000 Speaker 3: capacity to sit still and to be present, because when 372 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 3: we don't process that fight or flight, we feel disconnected 373 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 3: from our bodies. But the grounding techniques allows us to 374 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,240 Speaker 3: sit still and just do nothing. 375 00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 2: You need to rest to find be. 376 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 3: I think so it's one of the points of joy, 377 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 3: you know. Excuse me, it's really difficult to access joy 378 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 3: when you are restless. It's really difficult to access that 379 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,320 Speaker 3: feeling of happiness and pleasure when you have when you're 380 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 3: in fight or flight. Right, So it's important to practice 381 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:19,960 Speaker 3: these peaceful methods. 382 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: I think. I keep I'm hung up on this. 383 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 6: One question you asked earlier was like, can you feel 384 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 6: joy when you're stressed? 385 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,360 Speaker 3: It's very, very difficult. It's super difficult, you know, Like 386 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 3: imagine when you're stressed and you're sitting eating your food. 387 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,280 Speaker 3: Many times we'll like finish the bowl and we don't 388 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,240 Speaker 3: even know we finished our plate, right, because our brain 389 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:40,760 Speaker 3: was somewhere else. So we missed out on a point 390 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 3: of joy, right, We weren't tasting the crunchy salad or 391 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 3: the dressings. 392 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 1: Right. 393 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 4: That's crazy, Yeah, like mostly. 394 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 5: Not even everything's not trying to sound like a client 395 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 5: here or anything like that. But a lot of things 396 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 5: that you're saying, like I like live this every day, 397 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,520 Speaker 5: Like I'll heat something up and then do something else 398 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,560 Speaker 5: and if forget that I'm even forget that I'm hungry 399 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 5: and then do it because I'm trying to keep myself busy. 400 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 5: Like I wake up every morning at four, being here 401 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 5: at six, we get done at a certain time, I 402 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:10,960 Speaker 5: go home, then I work. 403 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,160 Speaker 4: On other businesses and I do and then I have an. 404 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 5: Eight month old baby, and I have a thirteen year 405 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:18,240 Speaker 5: old son, and I'm married, and it's so many different things, right, 406 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 5: and the drugs and the drugs, so so yeah, he 407 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 5: does not have to put it all the day late day. 408 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 5: But yes, what I find for me, speaking of drugs, 409 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 5: at the end of the night a good like pre 410 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:38,400 Speaker 5: roll Like for me, we that calms me down. I'm 411 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 5: able to relax and just like take a breath. But 412 00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 5: by the time that is, that's like twelve one o'clock 413 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:44,639 Speaker 5: in the morning, I. 414 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:45,840 Speaker 4: Got to be back up at four. 415 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. 416 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like, but I don't think I'm stressed all 417 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,879 Speaker 4: the prices. It's like, what the hell is going on? 418 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 3: Then maybe I'm not your doctor, but a lot of 419 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 3: people like you who have busy careers, families, a lot 420 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:58,440 Speaker 3: of responsibilities. 421 00:17:58,480 --> 00:17:59,360 Speaker 4: They're caretakers. 422 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 3: Right in my stof the first ever published in the 423 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,399 Speaker 3: world on high function depression, a lot of caretakers, a 424 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,160 Speaker 3: lot of caregivers, they experience that lack of joy. Why 425 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 3: because they're so busy in their minds, they're so restless 426 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 3: that they're missing out the precious baby's face in front 427 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 3: of them, who wants to snuggle with you? Right, you 428 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 3: lost the point right there, because when you snuggle, you're 429 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,919 Speaker 3: getting oxytocin, right, You're getting that attachment hormone. And you know, 430 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,160 Speaker 3: many times I hear a lot of people saying they're 431 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,879 Speaker 3: intimate with their partners and they just can't wait to 432 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,359 Speaker 3: get over what because they just want to You know, 433 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,439 Speaker 3: they're not they're missing out. That's a point of joy 434 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 3: for human beings, right, Sleep is a point of joy. 435 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 3: But many of us are spending our times on our 436 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:36,119 Speaker 3: phones before we go to bed, so that's disrupting our sleep. 437 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,680 Speaker 3: So we are losing so many points because we cannot 438 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:39,280 Speaker 3: sit still. 439 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 6: What about the water too, what about the the five's? 440 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,360 Speaker 6: Can you break down the concept of healing with the five's. 441 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,359 Speaker 3: Well, the reason I the reason I came up with 442 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:55,960 Speaker 3: the fives, I got a point of joy there. My 443 00:18:56,040 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 3: thirst is because when I travel the world, the number 444 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,120 Speaker 3: or five comes up in a lot of countries. Right, 445 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,240 Speaker 3: So I want people to envision their hand and say 446 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,400 Speaker 3: to themselves, like, I am built with the DNA for joy. 447 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 3: It is my birthright as a human I want to 448 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 3: reclaim it, right and. 449 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:21,440 Speaker 2: Joy tell me how to do. 450 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:26,119 Speaker 3: It and envision that. You know you were built with 451 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,159 Speaker 3: the DNA for joy. It is your birthright as a 452 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 3: human being, but sometimes you forget how to access it. 453 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 3: So I want you to reclaim your joy tapping into 454 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,800 Speaker 3: one of the five y's every day, right, just one. 455 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,040 Speaker 3: Don't do more than one or two because that's too much. 456 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:43,440 Speaker 3: And the first one is validation. So validation is acknowledging 457 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 3: and accepting how you feel good or bad without judgment. Right, 458 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,120 Speaker 3: And you know how I said that when you don't 459 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 3: know what you're dealing with, validation is like turn the 460 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,479 Speaker 3: light onto that room, so you know what you're working with. 461 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 3: You're naming the emotion good or bad, and you're accepting 462 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,119 Speaker 3: it and you can self validate right to yourself. But 463 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 3: you know sometimes with my assessments, I validate through the quizzes. 464 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,639 Speaker 3: You know the quiz online that I have on my website. 465 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 3: If you take take the Antedonia quiz and you see 466 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,160 Speaker 3: you have a high Antedonia score, You're like, wow, I'm 467 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,400 Speaker 3: lacking joy. That is why I feel this way, right. 468 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:18,199 Speaker 3: And the second is venting. Venting is expressing emotion. So 469 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 3: you could vent verbally like we are right now, or 470 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,440 Speaker 3: you could write in a journal, or pray or dance 471 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,760 Speaker 3: or sing or cry. All are ways to express emotion. 472 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 3: And in my lab when people come in, I'll fill 473 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,159 Speaker 3: up a red balloon and every person would take a 474 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,119 Speaker 3: turn trying to put that balloon underwater, and one hundred 475 00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 3: percent of the time it pops up. You cannot escape physics. 476 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 4: Right. 477 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,280 Speaker 3: So venting is imagine if you're letting the air out 478 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:43,880 Speaker 3: of that balloon slowly over time. 479 00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:44,280 Speaker 4: Right. 480 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,840 Speaker 3: What happens if you don't let that air out is 481 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,800 Speaker 3: that that balloon that's stress, that emotion will pop up 482 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:52,600 Speaker 3: in areas of your life that you don't want it 483 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 3: to pop about, work, in your relationships, in your family. 484 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 4: Right. 485 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,200 Speaker 3: So when you let the air out over time, you're 486 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,639 Speaker 3: able to have that balloon glad on the word you know, 487 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 3: it's you're more peaceful. And then the third V is values. Right, 488 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 3: So I brought in those candles for you because I 489 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,679 Speaker 3: value you know, giving back to my community. So right 490 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 3: now I'm wearing a design from a black designer who's 491 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,480 Speaker 3: a close friend of mine, Carl Kushny, And I brought 492 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,239 Speaker 3: candles from Harlem Candle Company, right because I like to 493 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:22,200 Speaker 3: give and pour back into my community. And so tap 494 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 3: into what gives you meaning and purpose. Think priceless versus 495 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 3: price tags. Many of us chase the things, right, we 496 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,919 Speaker 3: chase the cloud, we chase the money. I was like 497 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 3: that too, But you're not doing things that give you 498 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,280 Speaker 3: meaning and purpose, so you're missing out, right. So now 499 00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,240 Speaker 3: I won't take a speaking engagement if it's if I'm 500 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:42,680 Speaker 3: missing out on my time with my daughter, Yeah, because honestly, 501 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,360 Speaker 3: I I co parent, so I'm only going to see 502 00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:46,920 Speaker 3: her for like you know how they do the math 503 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,119 Speaker 3: on on socials. I'm going to miss out on my 504 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 3: time with her. It's that's priceless. Why would I do that? 505 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,440 Speaker 3: No amount of money can give me that time back, right, 506 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 3: So really tap into things that matter. And the fourth 507 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:04,399 Speaker 3: ve as vitals, what nourishes your mind, your brain, your body. Right, 508 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 3: you only get one. I tell my daughter, since she 509 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 3: was too how many bodies did God give you? And 510 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,960 Speaker 3: she always says one, mommy, And I said, what do 511 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,640 Speaker 3: you got to do with it? Take care of it? 512 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,639 Speaker 3: And she's known that since she was too. Right. But 513 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 3: we treat our bodies so poorly, you know, we criticize 514 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,680 Speaker 3: what we look. But it's like, I have strong legs 515 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 3: that get me to places, right. A lot of people 516 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 3: don't have that. So be kind to your body. Eat 517 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 3: nourishing foods, not processed foods. Get movement in, you know, 518 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,400 Speaker 3: protect your brain from too much screen time. You know, 519 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,640 Speaker 3: the way that we look at our faces all the time, 520 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,919 Speaker 3: it's very unhealthy, you know, when we're looking at our 521 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,960 Speaker 3: face on FaceTime, we're looking on zoom, super unhealthy. It's 522 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:40,679 Speaker 3: causing a lot of stress. We weren't meant to look 523 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 3: at our face that much, right, really, we weren't. There's 524 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:47,439 Speaker 3: a termins psychiatry called the otoscopic phenomenon. So people who 525 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,879 Speaker 3: are psychotic with schizophrenia, they'll see images of themselves across 526 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,399 Speaker 3: the room and it creates a lot of anxiety for 527 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,879 Speaker 3: them and depression we're doing that to ourselves. 528 00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 5: And that's why filters exist, because that's the better way 529 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 5: to look at yourself. And a lot of women and 530 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,560 Speaker 5: men cannot take a picture on the regular camera now 531 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,879 Speaker 5: because oh okay, I get it, I'm putting it together. 532 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,480 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, it's really unhealthy for us. If I were 533 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,520 Speaker 3: to see my face next year's right now, I'd be 534 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,719 Speaker 3: so distracted I wouldn't even be listening to you. We 535 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 3: were made to look at each other, to interact with 536 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,720 Speaker 3: each other, to get feedback, not to look at ourselves. 537 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,720 Speaker 3: So really protect your brain and the other parts of 538 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,119 Speaker 3: idols are our relationships. We neglect it. We have to 539 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:29,120 Speaker 3: pour into healthy relationships because the unhealthy ones will drain 540 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,880 Speaker 3: our life source. And then the last fee is vision. 541 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 3: How do you plan join in the future so you 542 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 3: keep moving forward instead of getting stuck in the past. 543 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,760 Speaker 3: So this could be small, you know, like I plan 544 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 3: joy every day. After I get my kid to school 545 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 3: on time, on the days I have her, I'll sit 546 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,960 Speaker 3: in my living room and I have my Caribbean coffee 547 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,880 Speaker 3: and I enjoy it. You know, I savor it because 548 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:48,760 Speaker 3: that's my time. But for someone else it could be 549 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 3: something else. Right, So plan the joy. Celebrate your wins. 550 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 3: When you meet a major milestone, right, celebrate it as 551 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,680 Speaker 3: a team. You know you don't get that time back. 552 00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:58,959 Speaker 3: So plan joy in the future. 553 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:04,200 Speaker 6: What people walk away with after reading High Functioning, I. 554 00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 3: Really hope that they understand that joy is a priority, 555 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,120 Speaker 3: It is a necessity. It is part of our survival, 556 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:14,359 Speaker 3: especially in our community. Without joy, what would have happened 557 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 3: to us? You know, So prioritize joy and understand the 558 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 3: science of your happiness. You know there is only one you, 559 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,040 Speaker 3: and there will only ever be one you. So take 560 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 3: the time to know yourself, understand what's taking away from 561 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 3: your joy so you know where to add back to it. 562 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:32,680 Speaker 3: And joy has the power to change people and their communities. 563 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,880 Speaker 3: So you know, we all probably have interacted with people 564 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,240 Speaker 3: who are not joyful. They can change the tone of 565 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 3: a room, right, So if we take the time to 566 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,159 Speaker 3: invest in joy, we can literally change not just ourselves, 567 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 3: but our families, our communities, and I think the world. 568 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:47,919 Speaker 1: How do they find you, Doctor Judith. 569 00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,520 Speaker 3: Doctor Judith Joseph dot com and follow me on all 570 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,120 Speaker 3: the socials, Doctor Judith Joseph, and pick up my book 571 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 3: High Functioning. 572 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 6: Overcome your Hidden depression and reclaim your joy. Thank you 573 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:57,000 Speaker 6: for joining. 574 00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:58,120 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. 575 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 2: That's Judith Joseph is Thereakfast Club, good morning, thank you. 576 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,919 Speaker 1: Wake that ass up early in the morning. Breakfast Club 577 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:09,040 Speaker 2: H