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Speaker 1: Hi everyone, It's I Do Part two and it's Alexis

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Speaker 1: Billino here. You might know me from Real Housewives of

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Speaker 1: Orange Counties, and I am so excited.

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Speaker 2: To be here with my friend today.

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Speaker 1: Galina Sakowska from McBee Dynasty, and we are here to

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Speaker 1: talk all things love the second time around.

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Speaker 2: Galina, Hi good, I'm good.

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Speaker 1: It's fun to We've never been in this port platform

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Speaker 1: before together, so this is kind this is gonna be awesome.

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Speaker 3: Is actually will be awesome.

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Speaker 1: You followed me around a lot during all this wedding

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Speaker 1: celebration stuff, so we've we've had a lot of discussions

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Speaker 1: about all this. But for the viewers that don't know

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Speaker 1: You're and I, you know what television shows we've been

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Speaker 1: on in our past, let's break it down.

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Speaker 2: Just a little bit. Give them a little hiss about our.

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Speaker 1: Love life, so like, how have you been married? How

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Speaker 1: many children.

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Speaker 2: Do you have?

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Speaker 1: And then we're gonna have to get into the good

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Speaker 1: stuff about like what's happening today with your love life.

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Speaker 3: Let's do that.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, actually, yes, I have been married once for

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Speaker 4: ten years. I do have one absolutely extraordinary child. She

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Speaker 4: is just started her law school in University of Nebraska.

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Speaker 3: She is twenty three, believe it or not.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, a little wild sorry about me about my past life,

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Speaker 4: and you know, I'm more excited about the future.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's also when you say twenty three year old, like,

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Speaker 1: you don't even look old enough to have a twenty

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Speaker 1: three year old. So I'm like, anytime I meet my children,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh gosh, I can't believe I can say

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Speaker 1: I have someone in college.

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Speaker 3: I know, right, I feel.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm still in college, Galina.

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Speaker 3: We always in college, you know. It's also life was

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Speaker 3: like permanent college.

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Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, so my background as we know

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Speaker 1: is well, you know because you've been following me around though,

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Speaker 1: But I am walking down the aisle in a very

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Speaker 1: few days. I'm not going to say exactly how many

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Speaker 1: are you ready, Galina?

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Speaker 2: Do you have your gown? That's what I need to know.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god. Actually, I have quite a few conversations

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Speaker 3: with all of your friends.

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Speaker 4: We are planning it all like the most exciting time

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Speaker 4: of my year.

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Speaker 3: Just letting you know that.

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Speaker 1: That's awesome because there's a lot of surprises we have

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Speaker 1: for you guys in store. This is more of a

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Speaker 1: This wedding is more of a party than you know,

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Speaker 1: we're not doing the Donna like you know traditional, so

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Speaker 1: it's going to be a lot of fun around the

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Speaker 1: around every corner.

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Speaker 2: So I'm excited anyway. But it is, it is, it is.

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Speaker 1: I'm starting to get nervous now because it's not my

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Speaker 1: second time around, you know that, Galina.

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Speaker 2: Even though this is I Do Part two, for me,

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Speaker 2: this is I do part three. Okay, So I was married.

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Speaker 1: I know you know this, but I was married one

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Speaker 1: time before my Jim.

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Speaker 5: So.

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Speaker 2: I had my high school college.

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Speaker 1: Sweetheart that I married for a year at like twenty three,

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Speaker 1: got to twenty four. I could have probably gotten it

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Speaker 1: and old, but we did not. And then I met Jim.

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Speaker 1: So I was with the father of my children for

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Speaker 1: fourteen years and then lo and behold, I meet John,

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Speaker 1: who I was just breaking up with another fiance, and

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Speaker 1: three months later and strolls John. So it was the

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Speaker 1: timing on mine for my I do part two is

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Speaker 1: like really bizarre. And I fought it for a while

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Speaker 1: and then I was just like, you know what, when

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Speaker 1: you might when you find the guy or the guy

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Speaker 1: find you, I feel like it's more like they find you,

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Speaker 1: don't you. I feel like the guys find the girls

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Speaker 1: when it's like I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I didn't have to seek him out. It was like

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Speaker 2: he found me.

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Speaker 3: This is what you know.

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Speaker 4: Those are all the questions I have for you, because

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Speaker 4: like I literally was.

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Speaker 3: Married one time.

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Speaker 4: You know, I'm coming from completely different cultural background, and

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Speaker 4: I want to have all this knowledge and all this

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Speaker 4: experience because sometimes I just wonder.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, I've been married only one time.

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Speaker 3: I don't have a ton of relationship.

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Speaker 4: I'm so looking forward to all of the ad vices.

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Speaker 4: I have a billion of questions for you because I

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Speaker 4: feel like I still have the chance.

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Speaker 3: Girl.

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Speaker 1: You cannot tell me people are not You cannot tell

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Speaker 1: me people are not asking you for your phone number

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Speaker 1: or asking you on dates when you're out my little

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Speaker 1: I call you. I tell all my friends, I call

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Speaker 1: you my Russian Missouri friend, because you know I've so

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm headed back to my farm in a

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks, and you're coming to see my little

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Speaker 1: podunk farm and I don't have time to stop my

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Speaker 1: your ranch or oh, I don't know if you guys

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Speaker 1: call it up.

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Speaker 2: I guess it is McBee farm.

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Speaker 1: But yours is glamorous Okay, you're coming to my neck

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Speaker 1: of the woods, and I think my family owned only

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Speaker 1: like four thousand acres, but we're in a town that's

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Speaker 1: like three hundred people, and we had most of the

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Speaker 1: land and it's been in our family for like two

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Speaker 1: hundred and seventy years.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, something like that.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, so you're gonna come see that, Glina, and

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Speaker 1: then the next one.

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Speaker 3: Going to and we're going to bring the whole new

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Speaker 3: flair to the farm.

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Speaker 2: Okay, can you bring one of your really cool tracks?

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Speaker 2: We need that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I got you covered. I'll give you

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Speaker 3: the best truck available.

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Speaker 2: Okay, thanks, I want to drive around in one of

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Speaker 2: those I do.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I'm going to make you. Yeah, we're gonna have

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Speaker 3: a lot of fun on the farm.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So what would be what would be one of

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Speaker 1: your questions for that? You said you have so many then,

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Speaker 1: because I I don't feel like.

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Speaker 2: I have all the knowledge, but I am getting married.

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Speaker 6: So well, hey, you know, first of all, like tell

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Speaker 6: me like all about your engagements to John, Like how

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Speaker 6: did you handle you know, this is the best advice

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Speaker 6: you can give me.

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Speaker 4: Your entire relationship will us in a public eye not

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Speaker 4: only that it was extremely difficult. You know, you got

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Speaker 4: a lot of hate. How did you handle, like, how

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Speaker 4: did you deal.

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Speaker 3: With all of that? Well?

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Speaker 2: I cried a lot. I hibernated a lot during that time.

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Speaker 1: But the beauty and all of that was you know,

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Speaker 1: And the funny part about that is John and I

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Speaker 1: both knew like the reason we felt the attraction right away.

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Speaker 1: We knew, oh gosh, we're in trouble. But we really

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Speaker 1: did just stay on the phone until two o'clock in

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Speaker 1: the morning. It was plutonic. It was no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 1: You know, we were like, no, we're not going to

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Speaker 1: go there. We're going to just be friends. And we

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Speaker 1: thought we could handle it. But you know, two to

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Speaker 1: three weeks into it or a month, we was like

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Speaker 1: we knew there was really no no getting.

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Speaker 3: Out of it.

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Speaker 1: But then, you know, we tried to keep it quiet

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Speaker 1: and we snuck around for a little bit, and knowing

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Speaker 1: that America would scrutinize us and hate us well like

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Speaker 1: you know, the Bravo world, b Bravo fans would not

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Speaker 1: like it at all. So we did hide for a

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Speaker 1: little bit, and then people were sending things into TMZ

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Speaker 1: behind our back, and people there was even a paparazzi

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Speaker 1: that came down to OC and like got us when

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Speaker 1: I was because they all knew where he lives, right

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Speaker 1: because of his relationship with Shannon, And they even got

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Speaker 1: us going to church one day. So it was then

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Speaker 1: it came to the point where we had to make

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Speaker 1: a statement and we came out, you know, and let

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Speaker 1: America know. But I think once the hate really really started,

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Speaker 1: that is what kind of drove John and I closer together,

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Speaker 1: to be honest, because I think that can either break

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Speaker 1: a relationship, just like a death of a loved one

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Speaker 1: can make or break a relationship.

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Speaker 2: But like the scrutiny and the hate we.

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Speaker 1: Were getting, I think is part of what just made

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Speaker 1: our bond so much stronger because we're like, if we

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Speaker 1: can get through this, and every day we'd have to

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Speaker 1: pick each other up, like don't turn on your phone,

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Speaker 1: don't read anything in the media, don't do any of that.

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Speaker 2: I think it really.

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Speaker 1: Really helped our relationship flourish even more. Even that it

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Speaker 1: sounds so weird, you know, cause it was a very

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Speaker 1: stressful time, but it's.

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Speaker 2: Kind of a beautiful love story.

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Speaker 1: And I always said, I always said to everyone, just

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Speaker 1: give us time and if everyone really watches it, it's

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Speaker 1: a beautiful love story how we met and how we

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Speaker 1: persevered through very difficult season on a national television show.

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Speaker 4: So you know, and honestly, I am so humbled and

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Speaker 4: so happy that I got to meet both of you

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Speaker 4: and got to know you on a personal level because

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Speaker 4: it completely changed my world too.

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Speaker 3: So you know, obviously not only you guys had to.

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Speaker 4: I mean, display all your true feelings in front of

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Speaker 4: everybody and stay true to yourself, and you know, like

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Speaker 4: it's an incredibly inspiring It gives me so much hope,

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Speaker 4: and like I have enormous respect for both of you.

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Speaker 4: A lot of people like sometimes just give up under

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Speaker 4: this type of pressure, and you just kept who you are,

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Speaker 4: you know, like you felt those true feelings and.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, you guys are my complete role models.

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Speaker 3: Like I'm looking after you. I'm like, I'm super grateful and.

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Speaker 4: You guys giving me a hope that there is something

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Speaker 4: that you know, maybe in the future in store for me.

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Speaker 2: Well, so are you dating?

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Speaker 7: I am still recovering, to be honest, I mean, for

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Speaker 7: anybody who did not see Season London, Season two of

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Speaker 7: mcbe Dynasty and don't know my entire previous background.

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Speaker 4: I'm like I am right now, I'm just observing them.

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Speaker 4: That's why I have so many questions for you. And

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Speaker 4: you know, you've been such a role model and you

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Speaker 4: literally give me hope because you know, obviously, my entire

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Speaker 4: disaster of the relationship was also on a national TV

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Speaker 4: and available to public, and I got I got an

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Speaker 4: enormous amount of support and I got a lot of

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Speaker 4: hate as well.

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Speaker 3: So but it's new to me.

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Speaker 4: So your advice, your guidance, everything that you guys experience

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Speaker 4: and everything that.

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Speaker 3: Kind of kept me going and you know giving me home.

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Speaker 3: So so grateful for you.

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Speaker 1: Well you did you did do kind not not do

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Speaker 1: You did go through something similar on the opposite, Like

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Speaker 1: I had a public relationship that began that was hated

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Speaker 1: so much, and you had a public breakup.

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Speaker 2: That was very difficult.

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Speaker 1: So we kind of I mean, I think that is

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Speaker 1: a lot of how we you and I became fast

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Speaker 1: friends too, not only because I mean, you are a

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Speaker 1: Missouri girl now, so we have those comment but I mean,

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Speaker 1: if you think about it, we both did have a

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Speaker 1: lot of the same scrutiny and hate for two different reasons.

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Speaker 1: Ones a breakup and one's a relationship. But John really

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Speaker 1: is what helped get me through it because he I've

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Speaker 1: never known a man like him, like he is just

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Speaker 1: so he is. He knows his moral compass, he knows

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Speaker 1: his integrity, he is just like he saw what he

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Speaker 1: wanted and he came after it and he was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't care about the public, I don't care what

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Speaker 1: anyone else says. And he was just just a rock

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Speaker 1: and such a force, you know.

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Speaker 4: And this is so freaking and this is why I

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Speaker 4: love you guys so much. I mean the moment when

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Speaker 4: we we had the bridal shower on Newport and the

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Speaker 4: first time, you know, we kind of like hang out

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Speaker 4: on a very casual in you know format, and I

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Speaker 4: saw him supporting you and like genuinely absolutely adoring you,

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Speaker 4: and I'm like, wow, I mean, I don't even know

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Speaker 4: what that feels like. But I saw how authentic you

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Speaker 4: guys relationship is and it just, I don't know, it

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Speaker 4: just put me in such a good mood.

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Speaker 3: It made me so happy for both of you. And

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Speaker 3: who cares what everybody thinks, you know, It's.

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Speaker 2: It's at the end of the day, it's it's about

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Speaker 2: you guys.

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Speaker 4: You know, it's about what makes you happy, and I

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Speaker 4: am happy that you.

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Speaker 3: Guys, at this point of.

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Speaker 1: You it's easy to say, you know, who cares what

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Speaker 1: everyone else thinks? Because I mean, that's John and I

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Speaker 1: would have to wake up and tell ourselves that all

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Speaker 1: the time. But then when you know, it starts bleeding

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Speaker 1: into our children are getting affected by the negative comments.

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Speaker 1: I have to turn all my comments off for three

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Speaker 1: months because there's so much hate. It's like, it's not

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Speaker 1: so easy to just go, oh, you know, who cares

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Speaker 1: what America thinks? I mean, in the public eye, as

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Speaker 1: you know, Gileina, you have to kind of say that

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Speaker 1: no matter what. That kind of has to be your

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Speaker 1: motto every day when you wake.

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Speaker 2: Up, who cares?

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Speaker 1: The more haters we have, that means we're doing something right,

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Speaker 1: because if everybody just loves you, you're obviously a wishy washy.

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Speaker 1: You don't have you don't have the things you stand for,

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Speaker 1: Like you have to tell yourself all of that.

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Speaker 2: But you know, and I.

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Speaker 1: Often get asked like do I regret or have any

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Speaker 1: insecurities or anything about the.

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Speaker 2: Relationship, And it's like, I think, at the very.

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Speaker 1: Beginning, I think, at the very beginning, when how big

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Speaker 1: it exploded with the hate and how fast the hate

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Speaker 1: came without anyone even giving us one chance. I went through,

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Speaker 1: you know, probably a week or two of really like questioning,

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Speaker 1: am I ready to do this? Is John really the

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Speaker 1: one and worth it? And is is it something I

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Speaker 1: think I can handle? And you know, and then all

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Speaker 1: I had to do Galina really was like I sat back.

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Speaker 1: I think one of the nights we didn't stay together

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Speaker 1: because there's you know, we still keep kept both of

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Speaker 1: our homes. He lives in like twenty minutes from me,

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Speaker 1: so it was one of the nights we weren't staying together,

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Speaker 1: and I.

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Speaker 2: Thought, Okay, this is what my life will be. I

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Speaker 2: will be like this.

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Speaker 1: I will not have him tomorrow come stay the night

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Speaker 1: with me. I won't be at his house. I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's what your future is going to look like.

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Speaker 2: So are you going to grow the balls? Let me

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Speaker 2: just say to to make it through this?

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Speaker 1: Or is it time to close the door and keep

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Speaker 1: him as a friend and then America will like me again?

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Speaker 1: And I just thought, I can't. I can't picture a

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Speaker 1: day without him, you know, so I think I probably

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Speaker 1: even then.

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Speaker 2: Just picked up the phone and called him and talked

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Speaker 2: him till two o'clock.

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Speaker 3: Again in the morning. Again. I love it, And this

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Speaker 3: is why I love you, Sosia.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I know, like this is probably one of

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Speaker 4: those things that I wake up every morning I'm like,

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Speaker 4: oh my God, and you know, I'm like, okay, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Just going to be me and you know, I'm just

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Speaker 3: gonna make it through day. I'm not going to read

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Speaker 3: any negative comments.

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Speaker 2: And that's when you text me.

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Speaker 3: And then when I.

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Speaker 1: Text you, you know, I'm like, hey, no, But then

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Speaker 1: you also, I want you to keep remembering when it

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Speaker 1: gets tough like that, text me and say I'm having

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Speaker 1: a bad day. This is one of the days that

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Speaker 1: it doesn't feel good because you know I've been there,

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna I'm gonna either send you a Bible

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Speaker 1: scripture or just give you.

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Speaker 2: A little oath of like, Okay, you can make it

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Speaker 2: through it. You know it really is. This too Shall Pass?

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Speaker 1: This too Shall Pass is such a good saying for

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Speaker 1: just everything.

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Speaker 2: But okay, I have a question for you.

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Speaker 1: So what okay, if you if you had any friend

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Speaker 1: that was going through like an ugly like the worst

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Speaker 1: part of the divorce, like they just found out or

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Speaker 1: they just are just going through all the attorneys and

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Speaker 1: doing the grunt.

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Speaker 2: Work of the divorce. What would your what would your

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Speaker 2: advice be?

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Speaker 1: Since you have been divorced after a ten year marriage,

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Speaker 1: that's not just a quick little flame.

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Speaker 2: You were married ten years and have a child also.

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Speaker 3: My only child, right, yes, So.

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Speaker 2: What would your advice be? What would your one tip?

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Speaker 4: Just just focus on the future. Just focus on the future.

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Speaker 4: Don't don't try to knock on the little thing that

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Speaker 4: you can get from.

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Speaker 3: You know, the past.

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Speaker 4: I honestly, when I was going through that, I let

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Speaker 4: everything go. I mean I knew it wasn't you know,

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Speaker 4: it was over. He was he is a great father

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Speaker 4: to my daughter. You know, we had a great marriage.

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Speaker 3: You know, but abandon did not work out.

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Speaker 4: And what got me through it is just like focusing

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Speaker 4: on the future.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, it's it's definitely who's a difficult time of

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Speaker 3: my life. I did not even know how to deal

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Speaker 3: with it. But focusing on the future that what got

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Speaker 3: me through.

349
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Speaker 2: And you too, are amicable.

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Speaker 1: You and your ex are just so that the audience knows,

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Speaker 1: because I don't think everyone knows our love stories. But

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Speaker 1: so you are amicable and co parented good.

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Speaker 3: We are now. Yes, it took a minute to get

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Speaker 3: to it, for sure. Yeah, but we are now and able.

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Speaker 4: To you know, come to my daughter's events together and

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Speaker 4: you know, he texts me to check in and all

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Speaker 4: that stuff.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it did take a minute.

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Speaker 4: And that was like, this is my biggest advice to everybody.

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Speaker 4: You know, we we're growing at the different pace and

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Speaker 4: patterns in our life. We're coming from different cultures and sometimes,

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Speaker 4: you know, we think we are in love. You know,

363
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Speaker 4: we have kids together. You know, sometimes it does not

364
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,800
Speaker 4: work out, and it's it's okay, you know in some cases.

365
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Speaker 4: But you know what is not okay is not to

366
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Speaker 4: be a co parent and not to support the kids.

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Speaker 4: If we had children together, let's be co parents. Let's

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Speaker 4: be grown up and you know, work through things together

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Speaker 4: and be supportive of our children.

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Speaker 3: You know, that's my biggest advice, Like, just be bigger

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Speaker 3: than that. That's good.

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Speaker 2: And I think that.

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Speaker 1: I say this in any podcast I talk about love

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Speaker 1: because I am getting asked. I feel like I'm repeating

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Speaker 1: myself because I am still obviously in the media and

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00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,879
Speaker 1: doing interviews and people ask but they're so intrigued by

377
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,800
Speaker 1: the wedding and just everything about it. But so I

378
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,440
Speaker 1: feel like I'm repeating myself, but I wanted to. I

379
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,480
Speaker 1: haven't said this to you, I don't think. But I

380
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:31,679
Speaker 1: felt like when nobody goes down the aisle in a

381
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,480
Speaker 1: marriage thinking they're going to get divorced, nobody Nobody says

382
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Speaker 1: I can't wait to marry, pop out a couple kids,

383
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Speaker 1: and then get a divorce. So the hardest part is

384
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Speaker 1: wrapping your brain around it and finally figuring out, Okay,

385
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Speaker 1: it's not going to work out, which is what I

386
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Speaker 1: had to do with mine because mine was you know,

387
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:51,000
Speaker 1: fourteen years and we were in therapy almost the whole time.

388
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Speaker 1: Oh wow, And and you know, I finally had to

389
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,479
Speaker 1: come to terms with you know, it's just not going

390
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Speaker 1: to work.

391
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Speaker 2: It's not going to work. And then I wanted to.

392
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Speaker 2: I kept trying to in there.

393
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Speaker 1: A couple more years, you know, you tell yourself, a

394
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Speaker 1: couple more years, just get get the kids a little

395
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Speaker 1: older exactly.

396
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Speaker 2: My advice would be what I said a few minutes ago.

397
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Speaker 1: My advice to anyone going through this is just know

398
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Speaker 1: that this too shall pass. Like you think, I remember,

399
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:15,760
Speaker 1: I was a stay at home mom. You know, I

400
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,399
Speaker 1: know people don't agree with that. But Jim and I

401
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,720
Speaker 1: went into that marriage knowing. I mean, like he had

402
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,399
Speaker 1: me quit my job within a year because we were

403
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,840
Speaker 1: married fast, and then he wanted we both wanted to

404
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,680
Speaker 1: get pregnant right away because I was already twenty seven,

405
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:32,560
Speaker 1: so it was a very sped up relationship. But I didn't,

406
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,280
Speaker 1: you know, I autie has obviously thought I was going

407
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:36,840
Speaker 1: to stay married to this guy forever, and I.

408
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,480
Speaker 2: Went through with the whole stay.

409
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Speaker 1: At home mom because I did want to be the

410
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Speaker 1: mom that takes care of my kids. I did, like

411
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Speaker 1: I didn't want to have a nanny, and I don't

412
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,840
Speaker 1: think either way is wrong. I mean, if you're a

413
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,520
Speaker 1: dedicated worker and you're the breadwinner the family and you're

414
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,840
Speaker 1: a female, great good for you. If you're not and

415
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,240
Speaker 1: you want to be a stay at home mom, great

416
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,600
Speaker 1: good for you. So that's Jim and I went into

417
00:18:56,640 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 1: that together thinking that. But then I remember the first

418
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:05,439
Speaker 1: day that we had split and I had to be

419
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 1: alone without my kids for the first night, and it

420
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 1: was our it was the first fifty to fifty kind

421
00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,199
Speaker 1: of thing, and the paperwork wasn't done yet, our divorce

422
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:15,560
Speaker 1: wasn't finalized because that takes, you know, months, as everyone knows.

423
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,480
Speaker 1: But it was where we stopped living under one roof

424
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Speaker 1: and we started calling nesting, right.

425
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,800
Speaker 2: We didn't want to disrupt the children, and I hadn't

426
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:22,399
Speaker 2: found a house yet.

427
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:23,840
Speaker 1: I knew I didn't want to stay in that house

428
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,880
Speaker 1: because I never liked the other house.

429
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:26,119
Speaker 2: We were living in.

430
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,000
Speaker 1: It was way too big and I felt an eerie

431
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,359
Speaker 1: spirit there. I just didn't like that house anyway. So

432
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Speaker 1: I went and stayed at the Ritz Carlton at the time,

433
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,640
Speaker 1: it was, you know, and I was like, I am

434
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,240
Speaker 1: just going to put myself in a nicer hotel and

435
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,919
Speaker 1: just you know, pamper myself. And I curled up in

436
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,440
Speaker 1: a ball and cried the whole night. I mean, that's

437
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 1: all I did. I you know, paid for that gorgeous room,

438
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,120
Speaker 1: didn't use the pool, didn't use it, didn't do a.

439
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,520
Speaker 2: Thing, and just cried the whole night. But at least

440
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,800
Speaker 2: I was in a nice resort, you.

441
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,400
Speaker 3: Know, That's exactly I mean.

442
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Speaker 2: It just it's the hardest thing.

443
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Speaker 1: So I want parents to know, and even if you're

444
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,159
Speaker 1: not parents, that this two shall passed and you do

445
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,879
Speaker 1: get a over the hump of it, you know, the

446
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 1: brutality and just not it's the brutality of the heartache.

447
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,560
Speaker 2: I guess is what I was trying to say. But

448
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 2: it's just it's so painful.

449
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 3: It really is, it really is. But it will pass.

450
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:15,080
Speaker 4: And then, you know, I'm a true believer into you know,

451
00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:18,000
Speaker 4: everything happens for a reason, and you know all of

452
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:21,120
Speaker 4: our journeys and experiences are you know at the end,

453
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,080
Speaker 4: you know it will work out and it shall pass,

454
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:27,640
Speaker 4: and then we are on better adventures in life. Right,

455
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 4: speaking of the better adventures in life, let's let's focus

456
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 4: on those amazing festivities that we had about your beautiful

457
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:40,040
Speaker 4: future ahead of you.

458
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 3: I'm done with all the hate and all this nonsense.

459
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 4: Let's talk about celebrating you and John and everything that

460
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,879
Speaker 4: happened this year. Thank you so much for making me

461
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,440
Speaker 4: a part of it. Let's start with the retreat in Scottsdale.

462
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 4: How fun was that?

463
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:57,879
Speaker 3: Well?

464
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,160
Speaker 1: I didn't realize we were going to have so many

465
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,960
Speaker 1: like shin digs.

466
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,439
Speaker 2: Before the wedding, you know what I mean, Like it

467
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 2: was just.

468
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 1: Like one thing and then the next thing, and and

469
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 1: you know, I loved the nearly weds because we didn't

470
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:12,439
Speaker 1: really have the energy or the time really because it

471
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,679
Speaker 1: was coming up so fast to do you know, a

472
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 1: bachelor bachelotte party. So that was kind of our way

473
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 1: of bachelorette nearly weds. Is was our version of what

474
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 1: a bachelor bachelorette party would be, is what I was

475
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,200
Speaker 1: trying to say. And so that's when we only took

476
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 1: the six of us the Gillina. It was a very

477
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 1: small group of us and we just went off to Vegas. Yes,

478
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,680
Speaker 1: but that was after the bridal retreat. But the only

479
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 1: reason the bridal retreat happened is because this amazing designer

480
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:47,840
Speaker 1: was making a couture down for me, like like from scratch,

481
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,479
Speaker 1: like like we designed it together. And so I was

482
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 1: so excited to take you guys to Scott still with me.

483
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 2: I can't believe y'all jumped on bored.

484
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, I would love to miss that for him,

485
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 1: And then I send it to my five closest friends

486
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,680
Speaker 1: and I was like Warren, and I'm like, Okay, this

487
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 1: is fabulous, Jump on board, let's go.

488
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,960
Speaker 2: Thanks for all your critiques too. I needed all your.

489
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 1: Advice on the gown. Even though I changed it a lot.

490
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,680
Speaker 1: You don't even know what it looks like now.

491
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 3: I maybe should be surprised. I'm not gonna lie no thinking.

492
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 4: I mean, all of that was so fresh and new

493
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 4: to me because you know, obviously I had quite a

494
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,119
Speaker 4: roller coaster of life, so I wasn't spoiled with having

495
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:33,120
Speaker 4: amazing girlfriends that are getting married and having this, you.

496
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 3: Know, second chance in life.

497
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 4: And you know, again, like I said before, you're giving

498
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,160
Speaker 4: me so much hope and then.

499
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,879
Speaker 3: Including me in all of those awesome festivities. You know,

500
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 3: obviously Scottsdale was amazing, and the shower in Newport. Absolutely

501
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 3: loved it.

502
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,159
Speaker 1: I was I think, one, Okay, you guys are so

503
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:54,159
Speaker 1: done celebrating me.

504
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:54,880
Speaker 2: That's why I'm so.

505
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 3: Glad I'm done celebrating you.

506
00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 1: Ever, this wedding is all about spoiling you guys. So

507
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 1: that's I think that's why John and I are the

508
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,680
Speaker 1: most excited is because it's it's just a big party,

509
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 1: and it's it's We've got a lot of surprises for you.

510
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,480
Speaker 2: So thank you for celebrating everything for me.

511
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 1: I feel I've got like I feel like I'm like

512
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 1: it's almost like people are gonna think I paid.

513
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 2: You guys to come.

514
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 3: Do it with me.

515
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 1: How does someone have free festivities like that that all

516
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,120
Speaker 1: the girls come, you know, like here, hey, girls, come,

517
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 1: I'll give you a thousand bucks, just come join me.

518
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:34,640
Speaker 5: You know, like, uh, the whole Las Vegas trip, Oh

519
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 5: my god, I'm still like revisiting it all the time.

520
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,160
Speaker 3: Like and I and I really love.

521
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 4: The idea that instead of like bachelor or bachelorette party,

522
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:47,639
Speaker 4: having that newly wet experience when we all kind of

523
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 4: got together had you know.

524
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 3: So much fun. The whole mini golf was a lot

525
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 3: of fun. Actually, I loved it. I loved it so much.

526
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,639
Speaker 1: I'm like, when we were planning that, I'm like, I don't.

527
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,440
Speaker 1: I don't want to go to a night club. I'm

528
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 1: forty eight, John sixty two, I.

529
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 3: Mean I don't.

530
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,119
Speaker 2: We can do that on another time, but I just

531
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 2: wanted to do something fun.

532
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,360
Speaker 1: And put putt is like, for anyone that doesn't go

533
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,680
Speaker 1: do that when they're in Vegas, I think they're missing out.

534
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 2: And the darts, I really do believe.

535
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 1: That that was just such a fun competitive I lost

536
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: a big time to John and I was I was

537
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 1: John doesn't golf, and I grew up on a.

538
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,160
Speaker 2: Golf like golfing with my parents. And I'm sitting there

539
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,200
Speaker 2: bragging to him for like three days. I'm like, I'm

540
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 2: gonna kick your butt.

541
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,240
Speaker 1: At golf, you know, put pet golf and my first one, Galina,

542
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 1: we were on two different teams.

543
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 2: You were behind us or no, you were you were

544
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:36,439
Speaker 2: with us?

545
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 3: No, you were right with you.

546
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 2: Yeah we were with us yea, yeah, yeah, because I

547
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 2: videoed you.

548
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 1: Anyways, the first hole, I think you guys were on

549
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 1: the whole two you and Spencer And first all I

550
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 1: did amazing.

551
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,920
Speaker 2: I got like hole in one. I was here, now

552
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 2: you are good. And then I lost by like ten

553
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:52,959
Speaker 2: or eight at the end of it.

554
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 3: So at the end of the day, it was all

555
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 3: about having fun. Yeah, you know what I got. I

556
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 3: gifted too, but we can tend a bear.

557
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 4: I really wanted to get that clone machine and get

558
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,199
Speaker 4: the cable bear like it.

559
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 3: Literally was obsessed. And I did get one, not the.

560
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 2: Biggest one you wanted.

561
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 3: It's okay.

562
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 2: And how much did this beart this one time?

563
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 3: How much did that cost you?

564
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 2: Gilina? We got like a four hundred dollars, a little

565
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 2: bitty I.

566
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,919
Speaker 3: Was really determined to have that bear, you know, and

567
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,439
Speaker 3: I got it. So that's what you know. At the

568
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 3: end of the day, that what matters, right, that's I

569
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 3: got what I wanted.

570
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 2: That's right. I want to know when was the last

571
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:42,200
Speaker 2: time you went.

572
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:47,400
Speaker 3: On a date? Wow, you're going straight to like serious

573
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 3: question that everybody's wondering.

574
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,160
Speaker 1: I to give everybody all my information. When was your

575
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 1: last date a month ago or not at all?

576
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 4: Or well, you know, I'm definitely not going on the

577
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 4: dates we see.

578
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 3: I can assure everybody of.

579
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 1: That I would fly right to your farm if that

580
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 1: was happening.

581
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 4: I mean that one is in the past, but definitely

582
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 4: moving on and open and looking forward to. That's why

583
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 4: you know, I was asking all of those questions of you,

584
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,920
Speaker 4: because you guys, you're such an inspiration.

585
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 3: You know, like you're giving me a hope.

586
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 8: Obviously, I've always you know, I also had quite a

587
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 8: relationship on TV and in front of everybody, and the

588
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,640
Speaker 8: breakup and just everything.

589
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 3: So I'm just taking my time right.

590
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:47,159
Speaker 4: Now and feeling from all of that and meeting a

591
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 4: lot of new friends.

592
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 3: I've been blessed with so many.

593
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 9: Friends here in Kansas City and everybody who's been really

594
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 9: understanding and just taking one one day at a time,

595
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 9: and you know, a lot more to come.

596
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 3: I have a lot more surprises you and I will

597
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:04,880
Speaker 3: talk about it next.

598
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll talk about it when I see you in

599
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 1: a few days when. Okay, So what are what are

600
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: you looking for?

601
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:10,919
Speaker 5: Like?

602
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 2: What is your type? Is it?

603
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: Are you like physical and like uh like morals and.

604
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 2: The whole package?

605
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 3: Like what is do you?

606
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, this is the best question. I have two questions,

607
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 2: but let's do part one. Do you have a type

608
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 2: or if you look back at your past.

609
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 3: Different I definitely have a type, that's for sure.

610
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,199
Speaker 4: So they all kind of look alike, not necessarily look alike,

611
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,880
Speaker 4: well kind of yes, Okay, So give us.

612
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 3: What is the type?

613
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:42,120
Speaker 1: Tall, dark, handsome or shorter, more athletic build, Like, what's

614
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: your type?

615
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 3: The ranch kind of us?

616
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 1: Okay, we have to have on cowboy boots and big

617
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 1: buckle and a cowboy hat.

618
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:53,399
Speaker 3: You have to be yes, yeah, yeah, because.

619
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 2: Look at you on a farm.

620
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: So you're you wouldn't be attracted to like the Wall

621
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 1: Street like the business suit.

622
00:27:58,760 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 2: You want the rancher kind.

623
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, most likely not the Wall Street guys.

624
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 4: But you know if she's a ranger with the Wall

625
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,520
Speaker 4: Street scales, yeah for sure.

626
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 1: Okay, So then the next So I have three parts now,

627
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,679
Speaker 1: I thought of another question, what's that? So that's the

628
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 1: physical part. Okay, so you want to ranch your type? Okay,

629
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 1: facial hair or no, definitely, yes, okay. Fascinating Part two

630
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 1: is what are well? I guess part two kind of

631
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,119
Speaker 1: goes together, but like for what are your negotiables or

632
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 1: your non negotiables, like what would you and and that

633
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 1: kind of ties into like what kind of a what

634
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 1: kind of attribute like like emotional moral compass kind of thing,

635
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 1: like what would be like for me? It's like John

636
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 1: has to be God fearing. My husband, whoever I would marry,

637
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 1: has to read the Bible, believe in, you know, with

638
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 1: the Christian values I do. That's a non negotiable for

639
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 1: me because it's really hard to date someone who doesn't.

640
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: But what would be something for you?

641
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 4: It definitely has to be a strong moral standards and

642
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 4: respectful women. I grew up very different, you know, I

643
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 4: grew up in the former Soviet unions, so initially we

644
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 4: grew up in atheist country. However, our you know, my

645
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 4: moral strength standards were pretty strong, you know, even going

646
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 4: through I went through quite you know, a few changes,

647
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 4: but yeah, it has to be a very strong basic

648
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 4: moral standards somebody who respects women. And you know, see,

649
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 4: you know, as women, we go through a lot different

650
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 4: experiences in life, so those are absolutely like mass have

651
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 4: and and this is what I did not, unfortunately had

652
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 4: in the past.

653
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 3: You know, I felt like I had, you.

654
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,959
Speaker 4: Know, just very few relationships in my life, and the

655
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 4: guys that I've been with, they did not have exact

656
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 4: respect for women that you know I was hoping for

657
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 4: or imagined or you know, I grew up with.

658
00:29:55,800 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 3: So I think that's definitely super important to maybe I.

659
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 1: Have a daughter, right, But luckily you're not with those

660
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: guys anymore. So now you can think, now you've learned,

661
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 1: you've learned, and now you can move forward. And if

662
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 1: you see any of those characteristics, that's when you say,

663
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: this is our last date, right, That's exactly.

664
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 4: Right, And this is what I've learned. You know, Like

665
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 4: a lot of times, I'm such a people pleaser. You know,

666
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 4: I grew up in Central Asia, you know, in completely

667
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 4: different society, so I've never knew how to draw.

668
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:32,720
Speaker 3: Boundaries between men and woman.

669
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 4: I was always a man pleaser, pleaser, and through these experiences,

670
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 4: I'm like, Okay, you know, I know it's kind of late,

671
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 4: but not too late.

672
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 3: But now I'm learning how.

673
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 4: To draw the boundaries, how to recognize some of the behaviors,

674
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 4: and how to.

675
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 3: Speak up for myself. Good. That's good, and I.

676
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: Think that I think that that's why sometimes the relationships

677
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 1: that don't work are a blessing in disguise, because they

678
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,719
Speaker 1: teach you exactly what you don't want in the future,

679
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 1: and it also matures you. It grow, It teaches you

680
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 1: how you know you are people pleaser.

681
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 2: That is something that's true.

682
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 1: So I think it's good for you to recognize that

683
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 1: and to also be like, I need to not just

684
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 1: please the person I'm with. It needs to be an equal,

685
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 1: you know, to a street kind of thing. He needs

686
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 1: to please me.

687
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 3: Too, So exactly, exactly sure.

688
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 4: And the thing is like, yeah, you know, maybe my

689
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 4: life was kind of wild and turbulent and the relationships

690
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 4: were not the greatest and I've never maybe drew the

691
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 4: boundaries that I.

692
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 3: Should have to begin with.

693
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 4: But my biggest sake away is that I've passed it

694
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 4: on to my daughter and now she is Yes, I

695
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 4: put her through some you know, difficulties, but now she

696
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 4: is so much better with her relationship. She knows how

697
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 4: to draw the boundaries. She she's her own person. She

698
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 4: you know, getting her own education. She's completely independent, and

699
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 4: I'm so proud of her. And in a way, you know,

700
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 4: all of the things that I went through, she learned

701
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 4: from it and she's going to have such a better

702
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:13,960
Speaker 4: life and you know, so.

703
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 3: That's how I look at things.

704
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 2: That's beautiful.

705
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 1: So then if you get married again, do you think,

706
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: like for John and I, like, we didn't do marriage

707
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 1: counseling before this marriage, but that's because we both have

708
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 1: been through so much. I was in fourteen years of

709
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: marriage marriage counseling with Jim and then I had, you know,

710
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 1: a therapist.

711
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 2: I still have this therapist.

712
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: Through my mom's death and through the post divorce, I

713
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 1: got a new therapist. And so John and I discussed

714
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 1: it and we're like, well, should we and we would

715
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 1: have and we will. We'll go to therapy if we

716
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 1: need to, but we did not because of the fact

717
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 1: that we've had and you know, he has his own

718
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 1: therapist too, but we've been through so much therapy that

719
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 1: I felt like we're okay at the time. So would

720
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 1: you do you think you would if you find mister

721
00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: Wright again?

722
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 3: I think so? I think I really would love to. Yes,

723
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 3: I would love that.

724
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,239
Speaker 1: I think it's just if you haven't had a ton

725
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 1: of the therapy like I can tell John has, because

726
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: when we get into a little hiccup or anything, it's

727
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 1: you have the tools and your tool belt that the

728
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 1: therapists have taught you about communication and and you know,

729
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 1: validate their feelings, like make sure it's not just a

730
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 1: one way street. So so yeah, like so those are

731
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 1: the tools. It's like it's like, don't raise your voice,

732
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 1: don't go to bed mad.

733
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 3: It's not only even about that.

734
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 4: It's about like for me, it was an ability to

735
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 4: just even voice myself. You know, we grew up so

736
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 4: much not being able to talk about anything. So you know,

737
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 4: like you agree, like I wasn't even able to vocabulary.

738
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 3: My own feelings.

739
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 4: So that was a scull on its own, and it's

740
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 4: it's very hard to learn that kind of late later

741
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,959
Speaker 4: in your life to be able to speak your feelings

742
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 4: openly in front of everybody.

743
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,160
Speaker 2: You did have to learn that.

744
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 1: Then, you had to really you had to learn that

745
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 1: because you were squealed when you are in the past,

746
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:07,719
Speaker 1: and obviously when you're in America, you can see that

747
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 1: we aren't squelched.

748
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 2: We do speak our minds. We do.

749
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,919
Speaker 3: Yes, that's what I love about it.

750
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:13,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's good.

751
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 1: But I think one of the biggest tools that my

752
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 1: therapist has always taught me.

753
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 2: This was my past therapist.

754
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 1: She passed away or I probably still have her actually,

755
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 1: but she was our therapist the whole time John and

756
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 1: I or Jim and I were married.

757
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 2: But she would always say, you don't.

758
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 1: Have to fix every argument right now, take put put

759
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 1: it up on your bookshelf, and and don't go to

760
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 1: bed mad. Don't go just say, hey, babe, we're butting heads.

761
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 1: We're not going to see eye to eye right now.

762
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 1: We're going to shelve it. It's still there. We're going

763
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 1: to pull it off the shelf tomorrow or in a

764
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 1: couple of days, and we're going to revisit it when

765
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,200
Speaker 1: we both calm down, when we both processed and thought

766
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,560
Speaker 1: it through, and then we talk about it in a

767
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 1: couple of days. And I'm telling you that is a

768
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,279
Speaker 1: life changer, because you know, and there's even times there

769
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 1: was one time. We don't argue a lot, so I

770
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: can count them on like like three times maybe, but

771
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 1: the one of them I did not want to put

772
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 1: it on a shelf. I wanted to vomit my feelings out.

773
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 3: I wanted to.

774
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:04,839
Speaker 2: I wanted to. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,

775
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 2: I'm right on this one. I don't want, you know,

776
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 2: I want to keep going.

777
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 1: And he just kept looking at me, and he goes,

778
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 1: you're the one that taught me to put it on

779
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 1: a shelf. Now go put it up there and we'll

780
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 1: pull it off tomorrow. And I'm just like, you're right.

781
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: I got to listen to my own advice.

782
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,280
Speaker 3: Now I love it.

783
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,320
Speaker 1: But I think that would help a lot of married people,

784
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 1: and a lot even to data whoever your special person is,

785
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:26,320
Speaker 1: because you do sometimes and girls are more talkative and

786
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 1: communicate to most of the time than men.

787
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 2: But you know, it just it's helpful, super helpful.

788
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 3: I completely agree.

789
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 4: I think that it made my life so much easier

790
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 4: once I start learning how to be able to speak

791
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:43,919
Speaker 4: my feelings like to anybody, Like you know, I've been

792
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:47,240
Speaker 4: so closed up and kind of carried everything inside myself

793
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 4: for so long, and it affected the way I was

794
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 4: reacting to new situations. So you know, this ability just

795
00:35:55,400 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 4: open communication makes a tremendous difference. And speaking of the

796
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 4: open communication and changing a little bit of a course

797
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 4: to positive things because we have a.

798
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 10: Huge celebration next weekend yet, which I'm looking forward to.

799
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:18,920
Speaker 10: Please tell me all about next weekend, Like did you.

800
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:22,839
Speaker 3: You know, how did you and John like weathered all

801
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 3: of that?

802
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 4: I know that wedding preparations can be extremely stressful, and like, were.

803
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,919
Speaker 3: You planning all of that? Did he have any kind

804
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 3: of contribution to it? Like, come on, how did you

805
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 3: handle all of that?

806
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 1: It's so funny because I was just laughing with him

807
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 1: about this a couple of days ago, because.

808
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 2: Now we're you know, we are down to the you know,

809
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:42,360
Speaker 2: the wire, it's very close.

810
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 1: But up until about a month ago, I have been

811
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 1: bragging to everyone about how easy it is the second

812
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:50,839
Speaker 1: time around. I call it the second time around because

813
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 1: I don't really count my first marriage, so it's third

814
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 1: times a charm for me.

815
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 3: But I just coun't.

816
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 1: I just say, you know, this is I do part two.

817
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,919
Speaker 1: So to me, this is I do part two. Still,

818
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: he's my second wedding, very basically, but anyway, he I

819
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 1: was bragging to everyone, all my friends, I'm like, it's

820
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:05,840
Speaker 1: so easy.

821
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 2: We had hired this is a funny thing.

822
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 1: We hired my wedding planner that did my wedding with Jim.

823
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 2: So I asked John.

824
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:17,479
Speaker 1: I said, I know, I know, and most people would think, Okay,

825
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 1: this is really bad luck.

826
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 2: Battleman. I had been interviewing other wedding planners. Nothing was gelling.

827
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, there were just you know, you have to

828
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 1: have a chemistry with your wedding planner. And I'd had

829
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 1: a lot of the wedding already planned by the time

830
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 1: I started, you know, looking for her. I already had

831
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 1: the vision in my mind. We already had the place,

832
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 1: you know, solidified. So she was jumping in as kind

833
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,319
Speaker 1: of a part time wedding planner. But so I'm laying

834
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 1: in bed one night, I just asked him. I'm like, honey,

835
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:42,799
Speaker 1: I'm like, the worst she can say is no, right,

836
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 1: It's not gonna hurt his feelings, I hope.

837
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,359
Speaker 2: So I just said, Honey, you know I'm not having

838
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:46,879
Speaker 2: any luck.

839
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: Can I just reach out to my wedding planner that

840
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,800
Speaker 1: worked with my wedding with Jim, because she's amazing.

841
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 2: We get along so well, she.

842
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 1: Knows my everything, and she already you know, she did

843
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 1: an amazing wedding for that one. That one was different

844
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 1: feel and you know, different venue, but did amazing with it.

845
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 2: And she's like I.

846
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 1: Don't care, and I'm like, Okay, this is fabulous, you know,

847
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 1: like yay.

848
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 2: So called her the next day.

849
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 1: She's still in the business, even though she now she

850
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,640
Speaker 1: does Christian therapy and she's a travel agency and she

851
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 1: does one or two weddings a year. But she's like

852
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 1: the crime Delachrome of wedding planners. She had a TV

853
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 1: show twenty years ago, back when I was marrying Jen.

854
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:27,359
Speaker 1: She had actually done a planning TV show at the time.

855
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 1: So that was kind of interesting too, because we weren't

856
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 1: even thinking of being on TV at that point. The

857
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 1: housewives had not reached out to me. That was twenty

858
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 1: years ago. I think we were married for four years

859
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 1: before they actually you know, interviewed me to be on

860
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:43,240
Speaker 1: the show. But anyway, so bragging, okay about how easy

861
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 1: it is, got that wedding planner, got the resorts wedding

862
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: planner that they put you with someone, and then I've

863
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:50,760
Speaker 1: got all my party planning skills.

864
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 2: So I'm like, this is a breeze, John, I'm not

865
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 2: kidding you. The past two weeks I have not slept.

866
00:38:55,880 --> 00:39:00,359
Speaker 1: I am I'm constantly forgetting something. I call it with

867
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,319
Speaker 1: my kids, and I call it pregnancy brain as the

868
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 1: same as wedding brain, because when you're pregnant, you know

869
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,319
Speaker 1: how you forget things you don't know when you wake

870
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 1: up that day, you're like, did I do that last

871
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 1: night or not? Wedding brain is a real thing, everybody.

872
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: I mean, it is real. I'm like, no, I did

873
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:18,279
Speaker 1: that yesterday, and then I go back to my notes

874
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, I didn't do that. And then

875
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 1: I'll be like, hey, John, I didn't do that, And

876
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 1: then I go to my notes and I'm like, oh,

877
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 1: I did do that. It's like it's I cannot keep

878
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 1: it all straight. So I don't know how we're getting through.

879
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 1: And if I pull it all off with like without

880
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 1: any you know, any hitch or anything on when when

881
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 1: it is, I don't want to.

882
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:36,760
Speaker 2: Say when it is, but I will.

883
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 1: I will wake up the next morning completely just elated.

884
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 2: But you know what else, I know, you know what else?

885
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 1: I know I'm gonna wake up depressed because you put

886
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,840
Speaker 1: so much time and energy and effort into this making

887
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 1: sure every little detail is so perfect, and then it's

888
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:53,880
Speaker 1: just like Christmas morning and then all the presents are

889
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 1: opened and you're looking at the tree and you're like,

890
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:56,840
Speaker 1: now I got to take the tree down, and you

891
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 1: don't want Christmas to be over, but it's over. And

892
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 1: I'm like I told John, I said, thank god, we're

893
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:04,879
Speaker 1: taking another little mini staycation right after. And I said,

894
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 1: I'm going to be so glad that we're there and

895
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:08,759
Speaker 1: not going home, because can you imagine at this big

896
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,680
Speaker 1: high from being at the wedding, all this setting down

897
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 1: to just being back and our boring all home, you know,

898
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: watching TV. So yeah, and we're not doing a honeymoon.

899
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 1: We did, We've done so much traveling the past six months.

900
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:25,359
Speaker 1: And then right after the wedding, because that's the number

901
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 1: one question people ask me as words, your honeymoon.

902
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 3: That was my number one question right after this morning, Well.

903
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 2: We're doing it.

904
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 1: We're going to do a big uh probably Bora Bora

905
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:35,399
Speaker 1: or Maldives, I don't know, one of those.

906
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 2: Probably in a few months. But here's the deal.

907
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 1: Right after the wedding is John's birthday, my twins eighteenth

908
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: birthday in November, then Thanksgivings in November, then there's Christmas,

909
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 1: and then we have three or four more other kids' birthdays,

910
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 1: because you know, we're the Brady bunch, so we've.

911
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:50,239
Speaker 2: Got three or four more other birthdays.

912
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,840
Speaker 1: And I'm just like Johnny, I cannot I would not

913
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 1: relax wherever we went, because I will be Christmas shopping

914
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: on my phone the whole time. I will be planning

915
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 1: things for all that. In my case, I wonder for

916
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:05,839
Speaker 1: everything we've got coming up. So yeah, so they it's

917
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:06,879
Speaker 1: it's just done.

918
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 5: Somehow, I'm not surprised, Alexis, because this is one of

919
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 5: the biggest you know, like I think that I've learned

920
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 5: about you, and you know, I did not ask any

921
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 5: questions about it so far, but.

922
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:22,759
Speaker 4: How particular and detailed you are, and how on top

923
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 4: of everything at all times.

924
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,720
Speaker 11: We would be like at the freaking restaurant eating dinner,

925
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:30,080
Speaker 11: and you like on your phone taking care of things,

926
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 11: you know, like because you want to make sure that

927
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 11: everything is perfect for your children, for everybody. You know,

928
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 11: like you're so particular, so detailed, so organized.

929
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 4: I was incredibly impressed with it, and I promise you

930
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 4: I noticed it immediately.

931
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 1: Well, let's cross my fingers that you can you can

932
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: have the same reaction after this big shin dig because

933
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 1: I'm I don't know.

934
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's gonna be some little.

935
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 3: That's the thing.

936
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 1: On the On this wedding, it's like and the first

937
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:56,839
Speaker 1: one I probably would have freaked out if anything goes wrong,

938
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 1: And on this one it's going to be like, Okay, look,

939
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 1: let's just figure out plan and move on like it's

940
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 1: whatever it is, you know.

941
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,399
Speaker 2: But so the kids. Speaking of the kids, I wanted

942
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 2: to share this with you too. They you know, I

943
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 2: told you it's a non traditional wedding.

944
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 1: So one of the things that's happening, I'll give this

945
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 1: this is this is first new hand information.

946
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 2: You know. John and I do not like cake. We're

947
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 2: not cake eaters.

948
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:23,720
Speaker 1: But my son Miles, this whole time planning this wedding,

949
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 1: he's like, I'm so excited.

950
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:26,439
Speaker 2: My first wedding is going to be my mom's wedding.

951
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:27,760
Speaker 2: I've never been to a wedding before.

952
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 3: Mom.

953
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 1: What wedding cake are you getting? It better be fabulous,

954
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 1: it better be huge, it better be this. And I'm like, Miles,

955
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,600
Speaker 1: we're doing an all like a Sunday bar.

956
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:34,880
Speaker 2: We had.

957
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 1: John and I had this whole other vision of what

958
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,280
Speaker 1: we were going to do for like a big Sunday

959
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 1: bar with gourmet and all this stuff, and he's like,

960
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: but mom, you have to have a cake.

961
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't want a cake there.

962
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:47,840
Speaker 1: Not only are they a thousand bucks or more, It's like,

963
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:51,200
Speaker 1: I don't want a cake, okay, So I John and

964
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 1: I then decided we're gonna make miles of a day.

965
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,320
Speaker 1: So we went cake tasting, we went cake shopping. We

966
00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 1: found the perfect cake, and Miles and Kenna are going

967
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 1: to cut the cake and give serve John and I

968
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 1: a piece of cake because we did the cake only

969
00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 1: for them, only for them.

970
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 2: So it's like that.

971
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 1: And then my son, well all three kids are walking

972
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: me down the aisle. But then my son, James is

973
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:16,799
Speaker 1: he plays on the worship team of church. He is

974
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:20,680
Speaker 1: going to bless the whole, the whole ceremony when we

975
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 1: first not the ceremony, the pastor will do the ceremony,

976
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 1: but when we get into the reception, he'll be So.

977
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 3: They each have a role.

978
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,759
Speaker 1: And John's kids did not want to roll, but so

979
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:32,720
Speaker 1: my kids each have a little something to make it special.

980
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 3: But yeah, I love it. I love it. I'm still

981
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 3: looking forward to all of that.

982
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,799
Speaker 2: There's so many more surprises that you won't know to.

983
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 3: I cannot wait to get an epic weekend for sure.

984
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 1: Well, this has been amazing to catch up with you, girlfriend.

985
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,800
Speaker 2: I know it will be amazing see me some more.

986
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,720
Speaker 1: And don't forget to keep the date that I texted

987
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 1: you on the books for visiting my farm, and I'll

988
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 1: have to give you.

989
00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 3: I promise you.

990
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:01,799
Speaker 4: It's like all over my computer screens all the time.

991
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 3: And you know how many computer screens I have. It

992
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,359
Speaker 3: sounds something like popping up as soon as I opened

993
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 3: up my laptop.

994
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 1: I don't know how you don't have a headache because

995
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 1: you are constantly looking at screens. I I after writing

996
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 1: even my vows, I'm like my eyes hurt because I'm

997
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:15,759
Speaker 1: on the computer for so long, you know.

998
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 3: But Alexis I actually have another question for you. How

999
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 3: do you feel about queen ups? Do you guys have

1000
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:25,040
Speaker 3: a qreen up?

1001
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 4: Because I, you know, especially you know, at this stage

1002
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 4: of our lives, I think it's, you know, becoming quite

1003
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:34,280
Speaker 4: a big topic of the conversations.

1004
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 2: You're just going right for the same question any.

1005
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: Cohen asked, aren't you you? Probab didn't notice when he

1006
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 1: asked that on Watch what happens.

1007
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 2: Live when John and I I have important questions.

1008
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 3: I'm in finance.

1009
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:50,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had just come I got engaged. I mean,

1010
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 2: and and Andy just went right for it. He's like,

1011
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:56,239
Speaker 2: you're gonna find a preen up. So we did not

1012
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:56,880
Speaker 2: and are not.

1013
00:44:58,239 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 1: We kind of both have the same flaw I know,

1014
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,960
Speaker 1: or signed one with any of my other marriages either.

1015
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 2: We just have we have the philosophy.

1016
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 1: John and I both do that if you start your

1017
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 1: marriage like that, you're already looking for a divorce. And

1018
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 1: it's like it's like you're you're thinking in your mind, oh,

1019
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 1: this probably isn't going to make it. But then why

1020
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 1: do you want to get married if that's even a

1021
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 1: thought in your mind that it's not going to make it.

1022
00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:20,640
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people have a lot to

1023
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:22,800
Speaker 1: say about that and are going to think we're both idiots,

1024
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 1: and you know, but I we just we trust we

1025
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:27,040
Speaker 1: trust it.

1026
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 4: So no, actually I do agree with you on that, Alexis,

1027
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 4: because yes, you know, when you are starting thinking prenups,

1028
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 4: you automatically assuming that the marriage will end at some point,

1029
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:43,399
Speaker 4: and we do not answer marriages thinking that it has

1030
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 4: an exploration date. So I do agree with you I

1031
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 4: know there's so many controversy about it, but I feel

1032
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:54,359
Speaker 4: like if you're entering the marriage, you trust each other,

1033
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 4: so then you trust each other with the divorce proceeding.

1034
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 4: It's unfortunate that there's so many such creation that it

1035
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 4: did not happen, But this is not how I feel

1036
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 4: about it, and I completely agree with you on that,

1037
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 4: and it immediately creates like this trust between both of

1038
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 4: you and definitely does not put an exploration date to

1039
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 4: your relationship exactly.

1040
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 1: It's interesting because you and I are both probably in

1041
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 1: more of the minority for that. By the way, I mean,

1042
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 1: I have a feeling most people would disagree with us,

1043
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 1: and I trust me.

1044
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 2: I have had earfuls of people telling me I'm an idiot.

1045
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 3: What am I thinking?

1046
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 2: You need to sign a prenapp like all of that,

1047
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 2: But we're doing it our way.

1048
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 4: And I agree with you on that because you know,

1049
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,880
Speaker 4: like I was married only once and when it did

1050
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,359
Speaker 4: not work out, I feel like I was extremely fair

1051
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:47,120
Speaker 4: through our divorce per seeding.

1052
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:50,360
Speaker 3: I did not ask for anything. I did not have

1053
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 3: any kind of spousal support.

1054
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 4: I did not take one, you know, because I felt

1055
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 4: like I was, you know, one of the reasons why

1056
00:46:58,360 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 4: it happened.

1057
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 3: You know, you know, we kind of grew apart, and

1058
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 3: I wanted to make sure that it was fair.

1059
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:07,440
Speaker 4: And I don't need a piece of paperwork or pre

1060
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 4: nups or anything like that to have a good moral

1061
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 4: standards and make it right for both of us when

1062
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 4: the relationship did not work out.

1063
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,400
Speaker 1: I agree, and I think that's the best way to

1064
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:20,600
Speaker 1: handle it. And that's what Jim and I did because

1065
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 1: we didn't have a prenup either.

1066
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 3: So yeah, I loved it.

1067
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 1: But you you texted me the other day and asked,

1068
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 1: you know we obviously you know Tamar and I are close,

1069
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 1: but you asked, you know who else is coming from

1070
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 1: the cast, And so I never texted you back. Obviously

1071
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:34,960
Speaker 1: I knew we were going to be chatting today, but

1072
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 1: so Heather and Tamer were invited to everything. Heather, as

1073
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:42,279
Speaker 1: we know, has a very busy life and has three

1074
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:47,480
Speaker 1: kids in different schools. So on the wedding weekend, she's actually, uh,

1075
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:50,200
Speaker 1: she's in one of our one of the towns. It's

1076
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 1: it's parents weekend at one of her kids schools that weekend,

1077
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 1: so they'll be at that kid's school. And then you,

1078
00:47:56,040 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 1: obviously Tamer and Eddie are coming, Joe and Tay and

1079
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:01,920
Speaker 1: you know are coming because you were at the Nearly

1080
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 1: Weed celebration with them. You're coming. So that's it from

1081
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:11,839
Speaker 1: the cast. And then my other girlfriend Brianna. I don't

1082
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 1: think she's filmed with me, but she's also in the

1083
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 1: makeup industry and has you know, it does a lot

1084
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 1: on on social media for that. So that that's actually

1085
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,359
Speaker 1: with Spencer is your table. That's your table right there,

1086
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 1: so it's a good table.

1087
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:24,879
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I'm going to be at the table

1088
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:26,520
Speaker 3: was join Tamra and Spencer.

1089
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 1: Tamra's best friend is coming, so yeah, I'll sit you

1090
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 1: by Spencer.

1091
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 2: You'll yeah, you'll have he can be your date.

1092
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 3: I'm so looking forward to.

1093
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:41,239
Speaker 1: Well, Galina, this has been so fun to catch up

1094
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 1: a lot of the information we already knew about each other,

1095
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 1: but it was good to let the listeners learn a

1096
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 1: little bit more because if there's any listeners stepping into

1097
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 1: their chapter two, our advice is do not give up,

1098
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 1: you know, and if you don't know where to start,

1099
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:58,880
Speaker 1: be sure to call us or email us. All the

1100
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 1: infos in the show notes and follow us on socials

1101
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 1: because we definitely want to hear what you have to say.

1102
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 1: We love your comments and feedback for I Do Part two,

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Speaker 1: which is an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is

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Speaker 1: the main objective by everybody.