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Speaker 1: M what lubing my slipping slides? I'm Robert Evans. This

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Speaker 1: is Behind the Masters, the show where every week I

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Speaker 1: talk about a new terrible person and and try a

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Speaker 1: new terrible introduction to try and get a reaction from

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Speaker 1: my guests. Caitlin Duranti, how are you? How are you

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Speaker 1: feeling about that one who's lubin up your slipping slide?

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Speaker 1: Is that what you said? Yeah, that was the intro. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well I would I liked it. To me, whoever's loubing

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Speaker 1: up your slipping slide is a good person, because you

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Speaker 1: want your slipping slide nice and lubed. Oh yeah, otherwise

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Speaker 1: you'll get some real bad tears. Yeah, you're you don't

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Speaker 1: want those tears, those slipping slide tears. So you're gonna

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Speaker 1: want that lube. And I still want to know who

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Speaker 1: is doing it? Okay, so you're asking me who loubes

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Speaker 1: my slipping slide? It's it's more like a like a

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Speaker 1: question I'm asking the universe. Aren't we all wondering on

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Speaker 1: some level what's loubing our slipping slides? I want to

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Speaker 1: tell you specific wickly, who is louping my slipping slide? Though,

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Speaker 1: just kidding but it is Nicholas whole star of um

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Speaker 1: you know some movies Mad Max, Yup Tolkien, which I

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Speaker 1: won't see, actually I will anyway. That's in a way,

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Speaker 1: Nicholas Holt is loving all of our slipping slides. I

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Speaker 1: think that's beyond a doubt. You're not wrong, You're not wrong.

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Speaker 1: I'm not wrong. So, Caitlin, I've already introduced you by name,

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Speaker 1: but you want to plug some plug doubles before we

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Speaker 1: get into the episode today, I'd love to. I'm a comedian.

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Speaker 1: I am the co host of the Bechtel Cast, which

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Speaker 1: is another podcast right here on this darn network. And

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Speaker 1: uh yeah, that's about it. M hm. And you were

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Speaker 1: with me to talk about l Ron Hubbard. Uh last year,

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Speaker 1: A very good time talking about that. And now we're

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Speaker 1: talking about a different but almost as ambitious grifter. Oh

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Speaker 1: I love the ambitious ones. Oh yeah, yeah, this guy,

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Speaker 1: this guy motherfucking ambition coming out the wazoo and the

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Speaker 1: shadow of a doubt. Yeah, if if ambition was a

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Speaker 1: slip and slide, this guy would be lubing that slip

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Speaker 1: and slide up like you would not believe. Right on.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever heard of John Brinkley I have not

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Speaker 1: have you ever heard of goat testicles, um, just as

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Speaker 1: a general thing, as a concept that exists. I'm familiar

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Speaker 1: with testicles and goats, and by proxy, I am familiar

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Speaker 1: with the idea that goats would have testicles, some of

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Speaker 1: them now, And and I understand you're not gonna have

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Speaker 1: an exact number here, Caitlin, but would you venture to

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Speaker 1: guess how many times you've heard the phrase goat testicles

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Speaker 1: in your life up to this point, not counting the

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Speaker 1: two times I brought it up so far, I would say,

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Speaker 1: like exactly that phrase, or even just like a variation

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Speaker 1: on like goatballs or any sort of yet direct reference

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Speaker 1: to the to the testicular glands of a goat. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: it's more than you think, because, if memory serves, goats

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Speaker 1: have enormous testicles in relation to their So I feel

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Speaker 1: like I've been to like different petting zoos and people

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Speaker 1: have like commented on goatball. So I feel like I've

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Speaker 1: heard some variation on it, maybe like ten times throughout

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Speaker 1: my life. Ten times. If that's the case, then I

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Speaker 1: suspect for you, and for most of our listeners, you

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Speaker 1: are about to hear the phrase goat testicles more than

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Speaker 1: you've ever heard it before in your entire life. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm very excited for this. John Romulus Brinkley came into

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Speaker 1: this world on July eighth, in the year of Our

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Speaker 1: Lord eight five. His father, John Richard Brinkley, was a

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Speaker 1: former medic in the Confederate Army. His mother, Sarah Burnett,

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Speaker 1: was the niece of his dad's fourth wife, which is

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Speaker 1: a chain of parentage that is best not contemplated too deeply.

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Speaker 1: When John was five, his mother died. His father died

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Speaker 1: when he was ten, and John was raised by his

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Speaker 1: aunt's Sally. He grew up in Jackson County, North Carolina.

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Speaker 1: It seems to have been a rather ambitious child. He

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Speaker 1: recalled later that he grew up dreaming of John Brinkley

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Speaker 1: freeing the slaves, John Brinkley illuminating the world, John Brinkley

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Speaker 1: facing an assassin's bullet for the sake of his people.

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Speaker 1: John Brinkley healing the sick. Can I stop you right there? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. His middle name is Romulus, okay, like the

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Speaker 1: guy who killed his brother to make Rome right. Okay.

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Speaker 1: For some reason, I am like, oh, that's a star

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Speaker 1: trek thing. I don't know enough about history, as you

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Speaker 1: can tell. It's possible that they were just anticipating Star

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Speaker 1: Trek's second or third best villain species, but more likely

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Speaker 1: it was a reference to Roman mythology. Okay, I suppose

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Speaker 1: that tracks Yeah, I would. I would say that's more likely.

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Speaker 1: His neighbors recall him being quote kind of a reckless

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Speaker 1: like boy who was ively as a cricket, because again

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Speaker 1: it was old timey days and people said ship like

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Speaker 1: lively as a cricket. Uh. John's education was not up

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Speaker 1: to snuff with his ambitions. By the age of sixteen,

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Speaker 1: he'd been forced to leave school and get a job.

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Speaker 1: He worked first as a mailman and then as a

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Speaker 1: telegraph operator. This job moved him to New York and

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Speaker 1: then to New Jersey. It seemed like he was on

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Speaker 1: the path for a decent, middle class life, but then

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Speaker 1: at his aunt mom Sally died and he was forced

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Speaker 1: to return to Jackson County to settle her affairs. His

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Speaker 1: aunt aunt mom, right, Yeah, I mean his aunt who

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Speaker 1: raised him. So okay, I'm his aunt mom. Okay, I

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Speaker 1: was still I'm a little confused on who the parent

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Speaker 1: relatives are. Yeah, and like which how much incest did happen.

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Speaker 1: But well, it's confusing because his actual mom is the

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Speaker 1: niece of his dad's wife, his dad's ex wife, which

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Speaker 1: I think makes his real mom his aunt mom too,

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Speaker 1: So right, confusing. Yeah, I'm not going to try to

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Speaker 1: understand it. It's it's best not to try to parse

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Speaker 1: that out too deeply. Now. While he was back in

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Speaker 1: Jackson County dealing with his aunt his second aunt Mom's funeral,

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Speaker 1: he met an old firm from school named Sally wilke H.

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Speaker 1: Now that they were both mature adults, they started vibing

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Speaker 1: off one another and then fucking, and then one month

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Speaker 1: after Aunt Sally's death, they got married. Wife Sally understood

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Speaker 1: her husband's unrequited ambition to get into medicine. She told

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Speaker 1: him that he didn't need to waste a bunch of

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Speaker 1: time in medical school to become a doctor. This was true. Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: In the in the late eighteen nineties, every state government

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Speaker 1: saved three in the United States had repealed licensing laws

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Speaker 1: for doctors. This was due to a populist movement that

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Speaker 1: had swept the country against the idea of high falutin

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Speaker 1: educations and licenses, things that were seen as taking power

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Speaker 1: from the common man, the way many people felt, why

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Speaker 1: shouldn't anyone be able to declare themselves a doctor for

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Speaker 1: any reason? Um? So that's that's sort of where things

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Speaker 1: were in the light. You're down with that. I'm done

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Speaker 1: with that. Too too much education out there, Let's scale

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Speaker 1: it back. I'm having a bunch of hats printed up

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Speaker 1: right now that just say, make every American a doctor again. Um.

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Speaker 1: I think that'll that'll that'll deal with the problem of

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Speaker 1: not enough good jobs and the student loan problem. It's

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Speaker 1: really like a silver bullet for a couple of like

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Speaker 1: our healthcare crisis, our debt crisis. Just make everybody a doctor, right,

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Speaker 1: I have I have so much student loan debt, and

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Speaker 1: I it needs so much medical attention. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what to do about any of it. Well, and if

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Speaker 1: you don't know how much student loan debt you have,

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Speaker 1: but if you look at whatever that number is and

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Speaker 1: then declare yourself a doctor, I'm gonna bet it seems

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Speaker 1: a lot more reasonable. That's true because if I have

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Speaker 1: the income of a doctor that you know, seventy thousand

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Speaker 1: dollars and I, oh, that's pocket change for a doctor.

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Speaker 1: That's nothing. Yeah, a shitty doctor will make twice that

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Speaker 1: in the year. This is a solid plan. Yes, um, anyway.

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Speaker 1: At around this point in late eighteen nineties, a teacher

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Speaker 1: named Lemuel Shattuck was asked by the Massachusetts state legislature

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Speaker 1: to carry out a survey of the state sanitary and

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Speaker 1: medical facilities during this period. His summary of the state

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Speaker 1: of Massachusetts sanitary facilities is pretty accurate for sort of

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Speaker 1: the state of of medical education in most of the

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Speaker 1: U S at the time. Anyone male or female, learned

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Speaker 1: or ignorant an honest manner and nave can assume the

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Speaker 1: name of physician and practice upon anyone to cure or

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Speaker 1: to kill, as either may happen without accountability. It's a

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Speaker 1: free country. Wait to cure or to kill? Yeah, okay, Um,

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Speaker 1: so doctors, our response should be killing people, is what

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Speaker 1: they're saying. Doctors shouldn't be held to a high standard

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Speaker 1: of not killing people. They should be able to do

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Speaker 1: whatever they want, because anyone should be a doctor. Yes,

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Speaker 1: this is this is a real thing. That was a

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Speaker 1: popular line of thought in America at the time. Good, okay, now,

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Speaker 1: John Brinkley, Yeah, pretty presently with his his new wife's

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Speaker 1: advice became doctor John Brinkley. Now this was not he

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Speaker 1: was not a doctor obviously in any like licensed sense

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Speaker 1: of the word. But he started traveling around and acting

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Speaker 1: as what was known as a Quaker doctor. Um. This

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Speaker 1: was sort of a meme in America at this point.

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Speaker 1: And I'm going to quote from the book Charlatan by

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Speaker 1: Pope Brock to explain what exactly was going on there. Quote.

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Speaker 1: There was a set pattern to most Quaker doctor shows. First,

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Speaker 1: a fiddler or a dancer got the crowd warmed up.

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Speaker 1: A short morality play followed in which a noble head

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Speaker 1: of house or ringletted female died pathetically for lack of

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Speaker 1: a miracle tonic identified by name. Finally, the physician himself,

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Speaker 1: Brinkley shot on stage in a dinner plate hat, cutaway coat,

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Speaker 1: and pious pants that buttoned up the sides, being and thowing,

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Speaker 1: singing and selling, waving a bottle of Iris cathartic pills

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Speaker 1: or maybe Burdock blood bitters or Aunt Fannie's worm candy.

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Speaker 1: One thing was for sure, whatever it was, cured, whatever

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Speaker 1: you had. Okay, wait, so you've got a warm up comic,

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Speaker 1: you've got a feature, and you've got a headliner. Headliner

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Speaker 1: is pretending to be a Quaker doctor who sells you,

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Speaker 1: uh nonsense medicine and no matter what you have, and

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Speaker 1: no matter what's being hacked at the people, it works

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Speaker 1: and it's a cure. All. I mean that's some Okay.

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Speaker 1: I like that. I like that they pretty much, you know,

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Speaker 1: just uh. I mean they're like, this is a stand

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Speaker 1: up show and it's gonna be hacked. It's ship, but

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Speaker 1: it's gonna people are gonna love it. Sounds and it's

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Speaker 1: one of those things were like back in back in

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Speaker 1: those days, there wasn't TV, there wasn't even radio. There

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Speaker 1: was fucking nothing to do for most people. So like

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Speaker 1: some fake doctor comes to town and puts on a show,

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Speaker 1: maybe you buy his pills just because it's a distraction.

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Speaker 1: I mean, he's he's selling merch. He's like, here's my show.

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Speaker 1: Here's the merch that you saw in the show. I

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Speaker 1: mean brilliant, good, good business plan. I love it. Yes,

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Speaker 1: slid branding now, um, this was obviously what we would

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Speaker 1: call snake oil, uh selling like Brinkley was a snake

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Speaker 1: oil salesman. Have you ever wondered where the term snake

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Speaker 1: oil comes from? Caitlin Well I haven't wondered that, only

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Speaker 1: because I'm not. I don't know if I've ever heard

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Speaker 1: that before. If I have, Like, yeah, I don't know. Again,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what romulus is, and I don't know

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Speaker 1: what snake oil is. I'm an idiot. Well, snake oil

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Speaker 1: salesman is a common term for like somebody who sells bogus,

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Speaker 1: like people call Alex Jones a snake oil salesman because

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Speaker 1: he sells his brain bills that are full full of

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Speaker 1: leaden stuff. And the term came was coined in the

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Speaker 1: Chicago World's Fair, which was would have been when Brinkley

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Speaker 1: was about eight years old. Um, And it came when

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Speaker 1: a man wearing a cowboy costume got on stage and

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Speaker 1: started strangling dozens of rattlesnakes to death and collecting the

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Speaker 1: liquid that oozed out of them and selling it as

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Speaker 1: a medicine. Um. Yeah, yeah, So that's that's literally where

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Speaker 1: the term snake oil salesman comes from. I mean it's

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Speaker 1: it's a very literal, Yeah, just a man's strangling snakes

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Speaker 1: and getting the oil from the snakes. And you know,

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Speaker 1: in in in terms of our previous conversation about like

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Speaker 1: the show this entertainment. I would absolutely watch a man

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Speaker 1: dressed as a fucking cowboy strangling snakes on stage, whether

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Speaker 1: or not. Yeah, that's a show. Hell yeah, yes, I

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Speaker 1: kind of want to see Patton Oswald do that, right.

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Speaker 1: Why Why isn't Kevin Hart my favorite comedian j K

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Speaker 1: H strangling snakes on stage? Well, and the great thing

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Speaker 1: about most stand up comedians is that I wouldn't really

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Speaker 1: care if they are the snakes one like, either way,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to get a good show, exactly, exactly. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well most right, most comedians probably should get bitten a

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Speaker 1: little bit by a snake, including me. I need to,

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Speaker 1: you know, to get in check. I need to be

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Speaker 1: bitten by a snake now. Now, Caitlin, how many rattlesnakes

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Speaker 1: do you think you could throttle if you, if you,

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Speaker 1: if your career was on the line. Sophie is helping

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Speaker 1: me out and saying four. Yeah, that's a pretty good

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Speaker 1: number of snakes. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah, that's solid.

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Speaker 1: I think Sophie has a lot of confidence in you

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Speaker 1: than you or at least in your wrists, because, if I,

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Speaker 1: as I understand it, throttling h rattle snakes is is

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Speaker 1: really wrist work more than anything. I have a very

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Speaker 1: firm grip, I think. Yeah, so I've noticed that that's

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Speaker 1: a big thing about me. So uh. For months, Sally

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Speaker 1: and John Brinkley toured around pretending to be a Quaker

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Speaker 1: doctor and his wife selling nonsense medicine from a wagon.

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Speaker 1: This worked for a while, but it eventually turned out

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Speaker 1: that he and Sally didn't really like one another. They

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Speaker 1: split up, not even bothering the divorce, and he headed

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Speaker 1: off to pursue his medical ambitions in a more serious fashion.

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Speaker 1: He enrolled at the Bennett Medical College of Chicago and

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Speaker 1: then the eclectic Medical University of Kansas City. Oh so

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Speaker 1: he did decide to go to medical school. Well, so

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Speaker 1: he went to He went to things that were that

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Speaker 1: had names that made them sound like medical So these

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Speaker 1: aren't accredited universities. These are in no way accredited. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: And he didn't get full degrees from these non accredited

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Speaker 1: universities anyway. He got a twenty five dollar loan from

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Speaker 1: a loan shark that he never managed to repay, and

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Speaker 1: eventually he skipped town before finishing school. Um yeah, yeah, yeah, um.

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Speaker 1: He did get like a sort of undergraduate certification. I

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Speaker 1: guess you'd call it, but again it was unaccredited. Um Now,

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Speaker 1: in a little bit of fairness to John Brinkley, at

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Speaker 1: this point in time in history, medicine wasn't really a

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Speaker 1: thing in the way it is today. Um So, eclectic

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Speaker 1: medicine is what we'd call like natural apathy. Now it's

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Speaker 1: using like herbs and poultices and like waving sticks around

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Speaker 1: and chanting and stuff like it. It incurred all of

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Speaker 1: that stuff. But this was nineteen o eight, so like

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Speaker 1: the real doctors were pouring mercury in people and bleeding

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Speaker 1: them to death. Um So, there were actually situations in

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Speaker 1: which a doctor with Brinkley's training would probably do better

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Speaker 1: work on you than a real doctor because eclectic doctors

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Speaker 1: didn't bleed people or feed the mercury. So it's there,

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Speaker 1: he's going to be beyond the point of being fair

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Speaker 1: to at a certain point. But but up to this state,

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Speaker 1: like he's not necessarily a hack and a fraud. Medicine

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Speaker 1: is kind of nonsense. So him being a bad doctor

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Speaker 1: actually makes him a better doctor then the real doctors

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Speaker 1: like him being fake. Is that Yeah, it's it's kind

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Speaker 1: of that like if you're most of medicine was wrong

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Speaker 1: at this point. Um and and if you're wrong in

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Speaker 1: a way to which you're not filling people's bodies with

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Speaker 1: mercury and radium, then you're better for them. And like

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Speaker 1: there is some there are some like herbs and stuff

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Speaker 1: that have actual medicinal potential. So like eclectic doctors, yes,

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Speaker 1: smoking that it is still legal at this point. Um

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Speaker 1: so yeah, um so about four percent of doctors in

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Speaker 1: this period where eclectics. Um. Of course Brinkley was not

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Speaker 1: one of them because he didn't graduate, but he did

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Speaker 1: get an undergraduate degree that qualified him to practice medicine

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Speaker 1: and a couple of states. Um. And you know, while

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Speaker 1: he was sort of bumming around St. Louis, drinking heavily,

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Speaker 1: he met a one armed man named James Crawford, and

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Speaker 1: the two decided to open what was essentially a fake

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Speaker 1: medical practice together. Uh. Crawford decided to go by the

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Speaker 1: name Dr Burke and Brinkley went by the name Dr Blakeley.

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Speaker 1: They called their operation the Greenville Electro Medical Doctors. Now,

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Speaker 1: I just was trying to be fair to eclectic medicine

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Speaker 1: by talking about how it could be more reasonable than

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Speaker 1: real medicine at that point in time in history. This

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Speaker 1: is the point at which we get past them being reasonable,

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Speaker 1: because nineteen o eight is a period in which electricity

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Speaker 1: is still new and exciting, and like every new technology,

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Speaker 1: people assumed that because it was shiny and different, it

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Speaker 1: must confer incredible health benefits. So electric medicine was kind

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Speaker 1: of a fat at this point. People would like fake doctors,

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Speaker 1: would sell electric ointments, electric toothbrushes, electric tinctures, electric food,

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Speaker 1: electric corsets. Just by shocking someone with electricity, you could

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Speaker 1: claim to be curing them, and most people would be

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Speaker 1: surprised enough by the sensation that they just sort of

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Speaker 1: go along with it. According to the book Charlatan Quote,

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Speaker 1: Dr Burke asked a few questions, made a few notes,

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Speaker 1: and put out his palm for twenty five dollars, a

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Speaker 1: massive sum. From there, the client passing into the treatment

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Speaker 1: room where Dr Blakeley spent the morning injecting colored water

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Speaker 1: into rear ends if anyone asked, he said it was

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Speaker 1: electric medicine from Germany, and ends, Yeah, he's he's shooting

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Speaker 1: dyed water into people's asses and telling them that it's

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Speaker 1: electric German medicine. Okay, good, is there? Actually so is

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Speaker 1: he also so shooting electricity into people's asses or no,

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Speaker 1: he's just lying and claiming it's electric water medicine. I

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Speaker 1: think they probably have some like electric gizmos near the

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Speaker 1: water so that people believe that it's electric medicine. It's

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Speaker 1: it's just ass water. It's just colored ass water. Good, Okay, Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so um this this scam worked out for a while,

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Speaker 1: but obviously shooting people's asses full of colored water did

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Speaker 1: not care any known problem aside from the dubious problem

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Speaker 1: of not having enough colored water in your asshole. Brinkley

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Speaker 1: and Crawford were eventually rightfully arrested for being frauds, and

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Speaker 1: thus ended the saga of the Greenville electro medical doctors.

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Speaker 1: I feel like, um, what do people get? What is

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Speaker 1: that called calonic to like clean out your bod? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I wonder if maybe that like dyed water in there

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Speaker 1: in people's asses was doing something like that. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if calonics have any sort of medical benefits, but

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Speaker 1: I just want to give him credit where credits due,

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Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, I mean, I think colonic would be

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Speaker 1: a good example of like modern day snake oil, because

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Speaker 1: while they're all, there are like certain situations in which,

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Speaker 1: like they can be helpful. They're kind of treated as

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Speaker 1: cure alls for problems. Um, I guess. I think it's

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Speaker 1: the same thing as like electrocuting someone and it being

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Speaker 1: a weird sensation and so you assume something medical has happened.

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people get stuff shot up

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Speaker 1: their asses and are like, well, that feels weird. It

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Speaker 1: must be doing something. Yes, yeah, the sebo effect kind

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Speaker 1: of does their rest. Yeah the Yeah. I was going

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Speaker 1: to make a pun like the ass sebo of fact,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know if it was gonna work. But

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Speaker 1: I think that's one of those those jokes that would

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Speaker 1: that works better written than spoken. Yes, yeah, that's that's

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Speaker 1: a good one. Well, we tried, we tried, We tried,

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Speaker 1: we tried. Now, after getting out of jail not a doctor,

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Speaker 1: Brinkley met a girl named Mini. She would prove to

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Speaker 1: be the love of his life, mainly because she was

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Speaker 1: exactly as down with his dreams of pretending to be

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Speaker 1: a doctor as he was. For three years, the couple

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Speaker 1: wandered around Kansas and Arkansas, with Brinkley working as a

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Speaker 1: traveling doctor and many acting as his assistant. He eventually

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Speaker 1: made enough money at this to buy a diploma, which

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Speaker 1: made his claims to actually be a doctor more credible.

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Speaker 1: On May seven, nineteen fifteen, the Eclectic Medical University of

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Speaker 1: Kansas City gave him the validation he'd always craved. This

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Speaker 1: MD cost Brinkley a hundred dollars and gave him the

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Speaker 1: right to practice medicine in eight states. So he immediately

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Speaker 1: set up shop in Arkansas, working as a rural doctor.

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Speaker 1: His big strategy was to rent a horse in charge

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Speaker 1: out of town numerous times as if he was constantly

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Speaker 1: on important emergency calls saving lives. This particular griff did

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Speaker 1: not work out and he and many had to leave.

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Speaker 1: So were the low point in our hero's journey right now.

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Speaker 1: But you know what can be the high point in

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Speaker 1: in your heroes journey, listener, Uh and you as well, Caitlin,

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Speaker 1: is the fine products and or services that UH advertise

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Speaker 1: on our show, which certainly, yeah, there aren't going to

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Speaker 1: be snake oil. No, we do not advertise for any

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Speaker 1: companies that will shoot electric water up your ass, and

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Speaker 1: if we did, I promise you, Listener, it will be

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Speaker 1: the best electric ass water that anybody serves. You know,

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Speaker 1: we we vet all ass based businesses personally, I do

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Speaker 1: I personally do that. Yes, it's critical, it's important. You

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Speaker 1: can't advertise for as based medicine without without putting your

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Speaker 1: own ass on the line exactly. Yeah, I wouldn't be

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Speaker 1: able to live with myself. So products, we're back. Oh,

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Speaker 1: those are some good products. Those are really good. Wait.

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Speaker 1: Can I just quickly recap what we've learned so far

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Speaker 1: about his life? Please do? Please? Do? So he practices

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Speaker 1: medicine sort of without any sort of credentials, and then

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Speaker 1: he goes to uh an unaccredited university and doesn't finish,

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Speaker 1: and then opens up a medical practice and then gets arrested,

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Speaker 1: and then he buys a diploma without you know, getting

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Speaker 1: any sort of medical training or like any additional medical training.

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Speaker 1: But because he has the diploma that he bought, he

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Speaker 1: is now certified practice medicine in eight stags. Now, is

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Speaker 1: this the eclectic mediciner's is like the more legitimate medicine.

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Speaker 1: It's eclectic medicine, none of it's I mean, yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: eclectic medicine, which is seen as semi legitimate at that

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Speaker 1: point in time. I see, Okay, great, well, I mean

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Speaker 1: I'm proud of him and his accomplishments so far. He's

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Speaker 1: achieved his dreams. Yeah, I'm sure nothing horrible will happen.

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Speaker 1: Definitely not so. In nineteen sixteen, Dr Brinkley got a

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Speaker 1: job at a meat packing plant in Kansas City, working

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Speaker 1: as a doctor for the animals they kept on hand.

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Speaker 1: He spent many hours on duty board and watching the

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Speaker 1: most entertaining thing available to him in those pre television days,

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Speaker 1: billy goats fucking. He later recalled being impressed by their

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Speaker 1: considerable lubricity, which I think means the billy goat vaginas

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Speaker 1: get really looped up, but I'm not really sure. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: the main syllable there's is lube. So that's that's why it's,

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Speaker 1: my guest, the root word. Yeah. So, okay, he thought

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Speaker 1: billy goats fucked good, and he was also impressed by

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Speaker 1: the fact that they got sick less than any other

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Speaker 1: species of animal at the plant. So he started to

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Speaker 1: think about what would it be possible to take some

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Speaker 1: of the some of the traits of a billy goat

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Speaker 1: and put that into a person. Okay, it's important to

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Speaker 1: understand the importance of what we're called glands to cutting

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Speaker 1: edge medicine of the day. Now. Glands were generally testicles

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Speaker 1: from various species, including human beings. I'd like to read

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Speaker 1: a quote from the website quack Watch that sort of

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Speaker 1: sums up the building science in this period of gland replacement.

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Speaker 1: Charles Edward Brown Cicard, a noted French physiologist, had shocked

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Speaker 1: the medical community by injecting himself with the crushed testicles

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Speaker 1: of young dogs and guinea pigs. Afterwards, he claimed that

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Speaker 1: he had regained the physical stamina and intellectual vigor of

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Speaker 1: his youth. Many men availed themselves of Cicard's methods, but

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Speaker 1: once the placebo effect was filtered out, little remained. In Vienna,

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Speaker 1: physiologist Eugene Steinek proposed that youthful vitality could be restored

422
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 1: by increasing levels of testosterone. The easiest way to do this,

423
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:16,919
Speaker 1: stine said, was through vasectomy. Sperm production wasted testosterone, and

424
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,440
Speaker 1: if the channel leading from the tests to the ejaculatory

425
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 1: duct were tied off, then blood levels of testosterone would rise.

426
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: Brinkley may also have heard of the work of Serge Voroff,

427
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 1: a French doctor who was stirring up a storm of

428
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 1: controversy with his experimental gland transplants. Voranoff had been a

429
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 1: physician in the court of the King of Egypt, and

430
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 1: there had spent a great deal of time treating the

431
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,399
Speaker 1: court eunuchs who suffered from a variety of illnesses. He

432
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 1: hypothesized that maintaining active genital glance was the secret to health.

433
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: As proof, he cited his experiments with an aging ram

434
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: into which he had transplanted the testicles of a young lamb.

435
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,080
Speaker 1: The rams will got thicker and his sexual vigor returned.

436
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 1: Varanoff then went on to transplant bits of monkey tests

437
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 1: into aging men. He claimed success, although he could offer

438
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 1: no scientific validation of his claim. So, okay, so science

439
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 1: of this time wast a lotta yeah, just like just

440
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 1: men being obsessed with their balls, and that has not

441
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 1: changed to the science of today. You're absolutely right, yes,

442
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,719
Speaker 1: But in that point in time they would look at

443
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,360
Speaker 1: other animals that had big balls or fucked a lot

444
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 1: and be like, what if I put those balls in

445
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 1: my balls? And yeah, I mean it's some innovative thinking.

446
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's it's innovative. Um. So all this was

447
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 1: cooking off in the air in the medical community while

448
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 1: Brinkley was getting his start. Now in midst nineteen seventeen,

449
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: he was briefly drafted by the military to work as

450
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 1: a doctor for the sixty four Infantry Division. He served

451
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 1: a total about two months, most of which he spent

452
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 1: in sick bay, complaining of multiple rectal fistulas. He was

453
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:49,360
Speaker 1: kicked out of the military in August. Next Dr Brinkley

454
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 1: and many moved to a little Kansas town called Milford.

455
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 1: It was not quite in the middle of nowhere, but

456
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 1: you might call it nowhere adjacent. Brinkley worked as a

457
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: rural doctor again, and his wife worked as a midwife.

458
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 1: Then had enough money to get by working incredibly hard

459
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,200
Speaker 1: and providing a useful service to their local community. Naturally,

460
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 1: John Brinkley hated it and desperately wanted a way out

461
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:12,880
Speaker 1: that way. She's not enough balls, not enough balls. Well,

462
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 1: the good news is that he was about to get

463
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:20,719
Speaker 1: so many more balls than anybody should ever have. He

464
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 1: was approached one day by a forty six year old

465
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 1: farmer named Bill Stittsworth. Now, Stittsworth came by Brinkley's office

466
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 1: one day and said, there's something wrong with me, though

467
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 1: look at me, you wouldn't judge it. I do look husky,

468
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 1: don't I. When Brinkley nodded, Stittsworth continued, I'm all in

469
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,919
Speaker 1: no pep, I'm a flat tire. Now, this was Stittsworth's

470
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 1: way of slowly admitting, in you know, nineteen like teens terms,

471
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 1: that his dick didn't work so well anymore. Uh, this

472
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 1: shouldn't have been surprising. I think it's pretty normal for

473
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 1: forty six year old men who work an intense, backbreaking

474
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 1: physical labor job to have have trouble with that. In fact,

475
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: it might be weirder if he'd had no issues at all.

476
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: But Stittsworth complained to Dr Brinkley that he'd tried serums, medicines,

477
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: and a tricity, all to no avail. Now, next, according

478
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 1: to legends that were later spread by Dr Brinkley himself,

479
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 1: the old farmer sighed and said, too bad, I don't

480
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 1: have Billy goat nuts. Yeah good. We only have Dr

481
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 1: Brinkley's recollections of what happened next, and they come from

482
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 1: a biography he commissioned twenty years later called Life of

483
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 1: a Man. So, you know, put a little bit of

484
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 1: a little bit of salt on this next quote. The

485
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 1: doctor half closed his eyes and considered, and then he

486
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: shook his head slowly. The code of ethics his father

487
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 1: had drilled into him forever forbade him from any conducts,

488
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 1: especially with relation to healing, except the utterly honest and straightforward.

489
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,919
Speaker 1: But the father begged and begged, and eventually Brinkley agreed

490
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: he would try and put goat testicles into the farmer's body.

491
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 1: His official publications made it later seem like he was

492
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 1: basically forced into it out of sheer empathy for the

493
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 1: distraught patient, But years later Stittsworth's family would admit that

494
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: Brinkley had offered the old farmer hundreds and hundreds of

495
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,919
Speaker 1: dollars to let him experiment on his body. That's cool.

496
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 1: Where's this farmer getting all this money for for goatballs?

497
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 1: The farmer got the money from Dr Brinkley. Oh okay,

498
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, yeah, he bribed He bribed him to

499
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 1: let him put goatballs in him to test out the surgery.

500
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 1: I see, okay, yeah yeah, yeah. So Dr Brinkley removed

501
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: a healthy goats testicles and just sort of shoved him

502
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:31,359
Speaker 1: inside the farmer's nutsack and then sewed it up. Yeah okay.

503
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: Stittsworth reported an increase in vitality, possibly due to the

504
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 1: placebo effect and also possibly due to just lying. The

505
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 1: words spread across town, and soon another farmer and then

506
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 1: another had received goatball implants. Shortly thereafter, miss Stittsworth demanded

507
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 1: that she get a set of goat ovaries to increase

508
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 1: her own fertility and vitality. Next to Life of a

509
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 1: Man quote dimly, Brinkley had begun to realize that he

510
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 1: was gifted beyond the run of doctors. So he realized

511
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 1: that he was an unusually talented surgeon and an unusually

512
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,959
Speaker 1: brilliant thinker due to the incredible success of his his

513
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 1: goat testicle and ovary implants. Now, I don't know if

514
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 1: you know this or not, but is he replacing the

515
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 1: human testicles with the good stuff or he's just adding

516
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 1: them in addition to what's already there. He's just jamming

517
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 1: them up in there, Okay, just shoving. Now sometimes it's

518
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 1: just bits of goat testicles. He does it a little

519
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 1: bit different every time because he's not a real doctor. Sure,

520
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: I mean, who needs consistency when it comes consistent medical

521
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 1: medical procedures? So uh, he decided that someone with his

522
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 1: sheer god given talent could not limit themselves to the

523
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 1: rules of the jealous sheep ethics of the American Medical

524
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,520
Speaker 1: Association and the other gradually professionalizing medical bodies of the era.

525
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: Dr Brinkley had developed an intense dislike of the a

526
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 1: m A. Some of this may be due to the

527
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 1: fact that a few weeks after his first goatball implantation,

528
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 1: he traveled to Chicago to take a refresher course on surgery.

529
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 1: He failed the class. His teacher said that this was

530
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 1: because of his attendance not being regular and because of

531
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 1: his indulgence in alcohol. I admonished him to leave liquor

532
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 1: alone and to concentrate on worthwhile endeavor and improve himself

533
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 1: as a man and a physician, to which he replied,

534
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 1: I have a scheme up my sleeve, and the whole

535
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 1: world will hear of it. Okay, So he's just like

536
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 1: this drunk dude. He's just a drunk guy, loudly admitting

537
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: that he's planning to scam everybody, and pretty successfully scamming everybody. Yeah, alright.

538
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 1: In August nineteen eighteen, John Brinkley opened to the Brinkley

539
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 1: Institute of Health in Milford, Kansas. The growth of his

540
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: clinic was massively aided by the fact that months after

541
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 1: his surgery, Stittsworth and his wife had a boy. They

542
00:30:52,800 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: named him Billy. Oh no, after Billy, he came the

543
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 1: first goat gland baby, and of course his very existence

544
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: was credited to Dr Brinkley's incredible science. More testimonials followed

545
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 1: soon after the old farmer and business then poured into

546
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 1: Dr Brinkley's clinic. He began charging seven and fifty dollars

547
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 1: in operation. That's about fourteen thou dollars in modern money. Obviously, yeah,

548
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 1: it's expensive. It's like what you'd pay for major cosmetic

549
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 1: surgery today. But it's just goat testicals. Um. Now, obviously,

550
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 1: many of these implantations did not work. Some of them,

551
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 1: I mean none of them worked, but many of them

552
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 1: had disastrous side effects. But it is kind of how

553
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 1: many people had goat testical pieces put into their balls

554
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: without anything terrible happening. The human body is incredible, is

555
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 1: what I'm getting at. It's very resilient, yes, yeah, yeah.

556
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 1: Part of why so many people reported incredible benefits undoubtedly

557
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 1: owes to the placebo effect. Some of it, though, was

558
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:58,720
Speaker 1: due to Dr Brinkley's peculiar advertising brilliance. Here's quackwatch again.

559
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 1: All men did the Brinkley operation, he declared, but the

560
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: procedure was most suited to the intelligent and least suited

561
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 1: to the stupid type. This, of course, ensured that few

562
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 1: of his patients would admit they had not benefited from

563
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: the operation, So he warned people before going in that like,

564
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:19,280
Speaker 1: it doesn't work on dumb people. Wow. So he's kind

565
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: of brilliant. So he's putting people in a position where

566
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: they have to basically just lie and say, yeah, this

567
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 1: is working out great for me. Huh, Okay, love love,

568
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 1: a lot of love. Heavy gas lighting in medical procedures

569
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 1: as well. I mean, he is the gas lighting ist doctor.

570
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 1: I think I can imagine, all right, I mean, so

571
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 1: another question. He's mostly doing this for um tests. He's

572
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 1: putting testicles into men's ball sex. But there was at

573
00:32:55,160 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: least one case of a woman having over over Okay,

574
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 1: so there are okay, all right, So he's just that

575
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 1: he did more balls than overies. I see. But he's uh,

576
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:09,959
Speaker 1: maybe not equal, but like you know, there's definitely yeah,

577
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 1: he he overaries up a lot of ladies and actually,

578
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 1: you know, spoilers, Caitlin, he's kind of a feminist icon.

579
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 1: But we'll get to that. In a little bit yeah

580
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 1: feminist icon goatball Dr John Brinkley great now right as

581
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 1: the greatest grift of right is the greatest grift of

582
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 1: Dr Brinkley's life was kicking off the great influenza epidemic hit.

583
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 1: This is the nightmare, maish, rave wave of disease that

584
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 1: killed more people than World War One. It was a

585
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 1: terrible nightmare and completely countered to the rest of his life.

586
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 1: Dr Brinkley rose wonderfully to the situation. He was remembered

587
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 1: by locals as being a wonderful doctor during this period

588
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 1: who only lost a single patient to the flu epidemic

589
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: and worked all around, you know, offering people, uh free

590
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 1: care and what not to take care of the horribly

591
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 1: ill people who were dying of the influenza. So this

592
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 1: is like a singular moment in his career, Like for

593
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 1: this this one period of time he was a real

594
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: doctor and and then he just went right back to

595
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 1: scamming people for the rest of his life. But there

596
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:10,880
Speaker 1: is one redeeming moment in his life, and it's the

597
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:15,439
Speaker 1: influence of epidemic. So all right, there you go. Yeah, Now,

598
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 1: once the epidemic was over, Dr Brinkley got right back

599
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:19,840
Speaker 1: to work scamming the ship out of people. As his

600
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 1: work drew attention and media coverage, people were soon literally

601
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 1: camping out around his clinic, men and women for a

602
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 1: little while. Implanting goat ovaries and ladies was almost as

603
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 1: booming a trade as implanting goat testicles and men. Brinkley

604
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 1: claimed the ovaries would enhance fertility, but would also remove

605
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 1: wrinkles and increase breast size. So, I mean everything that

606
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:42,280
Speaker 1: a woman cares about, everything that a woman cares about

607
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 1: in one set of severed goat overies. I'm gonna go

608
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 1: get my goat overies right after we're done. I mean,

609
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to. I don't want to

610
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 1: spoil the next ad break, but we are selling goat

611
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 1: ovary pills for a limited time. Yeah, guaranteed to do

612
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:03,360
Speaker 1: whatever whatever you need it. Overis will take care of it. Yeah.

613
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: So uh Now, obviously a lot of Brinkley's patients got

614
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: sick and died because he was just filling people up

615
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 1: with the dead body parts of animals, and that's not

616
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 1: great for you. But the Internet didn't exist, and so

617
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,760
Speaker 1: Dr Brinkley was able to sort of fill the media

618
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 1: of the day with tales of his patients quote astonishing

619
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,239
Speaker 1: sexual vigor, and most people just sort of trusted him.

620
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 1: He also shared case studies of patients whose lives were

621
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 1: changed in more significant ways. One popular account was of

622
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 1: a boy Brinkley described as deranged, who, in his words quote,

623
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: had been told finally that he was incurable and must

624
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:38,320
Speaker 1: remain a mental defected defective. He had decided to commit

625
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 1: suicide if I failed to remedy his condition, And thirty

626
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 1: six hours after the insertion of goat glands, this patient's

627
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 1: temperature had risen to above a hundred and three fahrenheit,

628
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,760
Speaker 1: but became normal twenty four hours later and has since remained.

629
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,720
Speaker 1: So his mind is gradually cleared. He looks and feels younger,

630
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 1: and his contemplating marriage, the hideous dreams and nightmares which

631
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 1: had destroyed his sleep and rest all his past life

632
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: have left him. My in case of insanity, caused this

633
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 1: time by excessive masturbation, was a young bank clerk brought

634
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 1: to me from a state institution following gland transplantation. His

635
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 1: mind cleared complete completely, and he is now the head

636
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 1: of a large banking institution. I mean, those are some

637
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 1: ringing endorsements. Now, it's interesting to me that goat testicles

638
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 1: can both increase your vitality and help you get erections

639
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 1: to impregnate your wife and stop your excessive masturbation so

640
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 1: that you can become a bank president, and also apparently

641
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 1: um cure mental illness and depression. Yeah, I mean, why

642
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 1: wouldn't goat balls clear depression? Exactly? Yeah, that's just obvious.

643
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,320
Speaker 1: So within a couple of years, John Brinkley had identified

644
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 1: twenty seven different illnesses that could be cured by goatballs,

645
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 1: everything from dementia to farting. He ensured people that his

646
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 1: operations had success rate, which was just low enough to

647
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 1: explain away the odd death or life altering infection as

648
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: a result of his not entirely competent surgical administrations. As

649
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 1: a rule, Brinkley was way worse at surgery than he

650
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 1: was at selling his slogans, all energy is sex energy,

651
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,239
Speaker 1: and a man is as old as his glands. We're

652
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 1: both pretty great. I mean, what year was this? I

653
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: mean this is nineteen eighteen? Wow, Like all energy is

654
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 1: sex energy is like something you'd hear at a fucking

655
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: very specific kind of yoga retreat in Santa Monica. Right,

656
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 1: I feel like I tweeted that like two days ago.

657
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 1: Incredible because he was ahead of his time and will

658
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:35,839
Speaker 1: consistently be ahead of his time until the day he dies. Right,

659
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,320
Speaker 1: But I don't want to I don't want to spoil

660
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 1: things too much, so uh. In private, Dr Brinkley had

661
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:44,240
Speaker 1: a habit of calling his patients old fools, especially while drinking,

662
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 1: But in public he was the picture of the genteel

663
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 1: man of medicine. Much of his credibility came from the

664
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 1: Van Dyke goatee he wore, which was seen as the

665
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 1: hallmark of the doctor, because people back then were very dumb,

666
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 1: just as they all are now. The reality, of course,

667
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 1: is that John Brinkley was no more a doctor than

668
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 1: I am a mechanic, just because was able to hit

669
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: my car that one time and make the engine turnover.

670
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:05,280
Speaker 1: According to the book Charlatan, he only had a wavering

671
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 1: conception of how to perform his own signature surgery quote.

672
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 1: Sometimes he slivered the animal gland like a clove of

673
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 1: garlic and put the pieces in the patient. Sometimes he

674
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 1: joined the smaller testicle to the larger, a process he

675
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 1: likened to embedding a marble in an apple. Sometimes the

676
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 1: operation was that's that's pretty fucked up. Oh so cril stop. Okay.

677
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 1: Sometimes the operation was no more complex than tossing a

678
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 1: Christmas present into a bag. Skill wasn't the issue technically speaking.

679
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 1: He was a competent surgeon when he put his mind

680
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 1: to it, but quality control was if he at best.

681
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 1: Brinkley performed operations both before and after the cocktail hour,

682
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 1: and as his enterprise expanded, he passed off more and

683
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 1: more of the work to assistance with medical credentials even

684
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 1: whispier than his own. As a result, dozens of patients

685
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: died over the years, either in the operating room or

686
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 1: shortly after the return home. Many others were permanently maimed.

687
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 1: So that's very cool. Wait can I backtrack for just

688
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 1: one second? And so his credibility, the reason why people

689
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 1: trusted him was largely did you say, because of his goatee,

690
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 1: like his facial part of it? Okay? So yeah, he

691
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 1: had he had the kind of facial hair all doctors

692
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,719
Speaker 1: were supposed to have. Okay, I didn't realize that was

693
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 1: a thing. Number one. Number two? Were they called goatees

694
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,359
Speaker 1: back then? And did that have anything to do with

695
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 1: the fact that people trusted his goat because if it

696
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 1: was like he has a goatee and then he puts

697
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 1: goat balls into your body, I see what you're getting in.

698
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:36,799
Speaker 1: But they called it a Van dyke Um. Sophia will

699
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 1: show you the picture of him and you can see, like,

700
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,279
Speaker 1: once you see his facial hair, you'll recognize it as

701
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 1: like every doctor in like a nineteen forties like Looney

702
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:51,879
Speaker 1: Tunes cartoon has the same hair. Yeah you see that. Yeah, okay, okay, Yeah,

703
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,879
Speaker 1: it's wild that you could just have a certain type

704
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:58,959
Speaker 1: of facial hair and be like, yes, this is my profession. Well,

705
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 1: I guess he's a doctor. Look at his facial hands.

706
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: There there was the world like we get down on

707
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 1: the Internet because all the Nazis and the anti vaccine

708
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,280
Speaker 1: lies and stuff. But before the Internet, being a doctor

709
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 1: just been having a goatee and a lab coat. So

710
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,319
Speaker 1: it's it's not like people have ever been very good

711
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:24,399
Speaker 1: at vetting reality. Yes, I suppose some progress has been

712
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:29,800
Speaker 1: made since then. Yeah, it's just been a consistently mixed

713
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:34,880
Speaker 1: bag now. Uh. Dr Brinkley build the purpose of his

714
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 1: work is aiding hopeless couples and conceiving children. He sold

715
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 1: he slid articles into the local news with titles like

716
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 1: Dr Jo Brinkley swamped with let us from women craving

717
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 1: halo of motherhood, And the reality is that a lot

718
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 1: of desperate people did see him as something of a

719
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 1: fertility messiah. At one point, he claimed to be able

720
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:55,320
Speaker 1: to even reverse hysterectomies by shoving goat ovaries inside ladies.

721
00:40:55,800 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 1: By the summer of nineteen twenty, he'd pretty much but

722
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 1: by the summer of nineteen twenty, he'd pretty much stopped

723
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:05,919
Speaker 1: performing surgery and female clients. It's debatable as to why

724
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:08,840
Speaker 1: my suspicion would be that stuff like male vitality is

725
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 1: easy to boost via the placebo elect a loan effect

726
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 1: a loan since erections are largely mental. So if you

727
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 1: tell some guy he's got supercharged goatballs in his body,

728
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,399
Speaker 1: maybe he actually gets more erections. But you can't really

729
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:23,240
Speaker 1: trick women into having a uterus, like the placebo effect

730
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:28,319
Speaker 1: doesn't go that. Robert, think again, because I think you

731
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 1: could trick me into thinking I had a uterus if

732
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,880
Speaker 1: I didn't, which I don't want my uterus. So actually

733
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:37,759
Speaker 1: that brings me to me trying to sell my uterus

734
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 1: right mere on this and then you can put it.

735
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:43,800
Speaker 1: What Okay, hang on, what if there's a sick goat

736
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: and you took out my uterus and gave it to

737
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,720
Speaker 1: the goat. I feel like, based on everything we've learned

738
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:54,719
Speaker 1: so far, that would actually help the sick goat. You know,

739
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 1: you're thinking like a nineteen twenties doctor, because right around

740
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 1: this time, I think it was a French physician to

741
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 1: a monkey's ovaries and put it in a woman just

742
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 1: to see if he could make a monkey human hybrid.

743
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 1: They were just trying anything. These would throw everything at

744
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:13,320
Speaker 1: the wall days of medicine, like there were no rules,

745
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 1: there was no like like people tried to do everything

746
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:22,000
Speaker 1: because they like they just figured out like antibiotics, which

747
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,759
Speaker 1: is like, you know, you come from the era when

748
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 1: like getting like scraped by a wooden sliver on your

749
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 1: way out to the barn is a death sentence, and

750
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 1: antibiotics seemed like fucking magic. Um So, people are just

751
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 1: like anything's possible, they try it everything. Um So, it's

752
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 1: like all of this is really ridiculous, and the credible

753
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 1: doctors of the day are all against Brinkley and say

754
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 1: he's crazy, which we will talk about a lot more later.

755
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 1: But people aren't quite as dumb as they would have

756
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: been in another era to believe this stuff worked just

757
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:57,839
Speaker 1: because a lot of medicine was fucking nonsense back then. Right, yeah, right,

758
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 1: So we will continue you talking about Dr John Brinkley

759
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 1: and his nonsense medicine. But you know what's not nonsense, Caitlin,

760
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 1: The products that were about to tell you about, Well

761
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 1: you got it half right, But you forget the services

762
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:14,920
Speaker 1: and the services. Yes, you never want to forget the services.

763
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 1: A service without a product is like a product without

764
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 1: a service, exactly products. We're back. Sovie just called me

765
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:33,880
Speaker 1: a nerd, which I don't appreciate. Sovie. Soylvie, would you

766
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 1: would you kindly, since I'm not there right now, throw

767
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:38,840
Speaker 1: the throw the throwing bagels across the room and anger

768
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:43,759
Speaker 1: for me. I have to hold on. So he's gonna

769
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 1: get throwing bagels. Well she does that, I'm gonna keep

770
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 1: reading about Dr Brinkley. So uh. Brinkley had attained enough

771
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 1: for down that he was able to visit Park Avenue

772
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:56,799
Speaker 1: Hospital in Chicago and perform thirty four gonad transplants. He

773
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 1: had moved on from just operating on local farmers. One

774
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:01,840
Speaker 1: of his patients was a judge. Another was the chancellor

775
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,920
Speaker 1: of the university's law school, a guy named J. J. Tobias.

776
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: When the Syracuse Harold interviewed to Bias after and asked

777
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,719
Speaker 1: if he felt younger, he said, I feel twenty five

778
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,760
Speaker 1: years younger. I'm a new man, full of pep, strong, healthy,

779
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:15,879
Speaker 1: ready to go on with my work. I was ill,

780
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,880
Speaker 1: old and played out, but the operation has revivified me.

781
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 1: Next the reporter asked, how does it feel to have

782
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,840
Speaker 1: been old and then be young again? Glorious? It is

783
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 1: so wonderful. It is almost unbelievable. The public cannot appreciate

784
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 1: what the operation means. There has been some levity over

785
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,280
Speaker 1: the news of Gland operations, but they should be treated

786
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:37,359
Speaker 1: with the greatest respect and admiration. So this is this

787
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 1: is how he moves on from like, I'm gonna give

788
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 1: you erections with goatballs, so I will literally make you

789
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 1: younger with goat testicles, and like, because people want to

790
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 1: be younger so badly, A whole lot of distinguished men

791
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 1: just buy right into it. Right. First of all, can

792
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:55,839
Speaker 1: I say that I love your old timey voice. Thank you.

793
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 1: I'm very proud of it. You're doing a great job.

794
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 1: Say it's wild. I mean, I guess this isn't specific

795
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:05,879
Speaker 1: to men, but I guess because we're talking about I mean,

796
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,959
Speaker 1: men are mostly his patients. But the lengths that men

797
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 1: will go to to just try to fuck better and

798
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 1: have better balls and stuff, it's it's amazing, Yeah it is.

799
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: I feel like if instead of fire, the first human

800
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 1: invention had been viagra, like men at least would never

801
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 1: have invented anything else, like it would have all it

802
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:35,400
Speaker 1: would have all been on women, concrete and stuff like

803
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 1: men would just but no, we've got we've got the

804
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:40,279
Speaker 1: dick pill. What else do we need? Which, honestly I

805
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 1: wish that had happened, because I think the world would

806
00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:45,320
Speaker 1: be a much better place if women had invented every

807
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:52,719
Speaker 1: thousand man. We got to go back. Let's get a

808
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:57,719
Speaker 1: time machine, go back to you know, uh, Neanderthal days,

809
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 1: you know, caveman times, and just give give the men

810
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:08,279
Speaker 1: viagra and then be like, all right, ladies, the your

811
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 1: your path is is free and clear to do whatever

812
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 1: you want. Men. These pills will make you dicks. Do

813
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 1: whatever you want, ladies, take it away. Here's it's all

814
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:25,439
Speaker 1: on you now. Yeah, one can help. So for a

815
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 1: long time, John Brinkley was able to basically portray himself

816
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 1: as the man who had conquered aging. He began to

817
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 1: make bold claims about his ability to cure other diseases

818
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 1: like blindness and the very near future. His delusions of

819
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 1: grandeur were compelling to people who saw him at symposiums

820
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,840
Speaker 1: and at his office, They were less compelling to the

821
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 1: people who worked with him on a daily basis. For

822
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 1: one thing, John still drank way too much. One night,

823
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 1: he got wasted and destroyed his neighbor's car with an

824
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:52,360
Speaker 1: axe for unclear but certainly awesome reasons. Another time, he

825
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:54,720
Speaker 1: got plowed and chased a bunch of his own patients

826
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 1: out of his hospital with a butcher knife. In March

827
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 1: of n one of his neighbors filed a protection order. Again,

828
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,320
Speaker 1: it's the good doctor, Brinkley explained. I made some remarks

829
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:05,880
Speaker 1: concerning this fellow that caused him to be afraid, I guess,

830
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 1: and they put me under a bond. I don't know

831
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:09,360
Speaker 1: whether I was arrested or not, but I had to

832
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 1: give a bond of a thousand dollars not to shoot him.

833
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:16,799
Speaker 1: I don't know whether I was arrested or not, and

834
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 1: I think I don't think he's lying about that. I

835
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 1: think he was so drunking, like, yeah, I don't know

836
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 1: what the funk happened. I chased people with weapons all

837
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 1: the time. This is the stuff that makes me almost

838
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 1: like him, because it makes me feel like he's a

839
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 1: kindred spirit. Because I don't know if you know this

840
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 1: about me, Caitlin, but I love chasing my patients and

841
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:40,759
Speaker 1: neighbors with knives. It's just a good time. Everybody has fun.

842
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:46,280
Speaker 1: You get your cardio in. Yeah, yeah, good, good, good,

843
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:50,840
Speaker 1: Everything's great. Anyway, there was a rumor that Dr Brinkley's assistant,

844
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:53,879
Speaker 1: Dr Osborne, who was one eared, was one eared because

845
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:57,360
Speaker 1: Dr Brinkley had literally bitten the other ear off. Entirely

846
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 1: possible that this is the case, like a lot of

847
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:03,359
Speaker 1: people lost ears for random reasons back then. But yeah,

848
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 1: he seems like he might have been an earbier. He

849
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:08,400
Speaker 1: would not be the craziest thing he did. But no

850
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 1: amount of bad behavior from Dr Brinkley was enough to

851
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:14,040
Speaker 1: turn the town of Milford against him. Uh the huge

852
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 1: amount of money he brought and helped and by the

853
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:18,839
Speaker 1: early twenties he was performing fifty operations a month, which

854
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 1: meant his clinic was bringing in five thousand dollars a

855
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:25,720
Speaker 1: year in nineteen twenties money that's roughly seven million dollars

856
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:29,520
Speaker 1: a year today, So he's he's doing well for himself,

857
00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:32,520
Speaker 1: and a decent chunk of that money got reinvested back

858
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 1: into Milford. He paid for new sidewalks, a new sewer,

859
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 1: electric lights, a paved road to the railroad station, and

860
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:40,279
Speaker 1: a new bank. He tried to start a zoo and

861
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:42,880
Speaker 1: even bought the town a bear. Unfortunately the bear was

862
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,120
Speaker 1: too loud and it kept Dr Brinkley awake at night,

863
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 1: so he shot it to death. He bought the town

864
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:58,439
Speaker 1: a beard, just a bear to it was too loud

865
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 1: a bunch. Oh my gosh, I'm just thinking of Paddington

866
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 1: Paddington Bear. And anyway, that's not important. Okay, here's my

867
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 1: real question. Where is he getting all of the goat balls? Goats?

868
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 1: And in fact, patients could pick out they had a

869
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:20,759
Speaker 1: pin of goats, and patients would pick out the goat

870
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 1: they wanted their balls from. Okay, So it was like

871
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 1: going to a nice like one of those fancy steak

872
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 1: restaurants where you get to like pick the animal get

873
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:31,560
Speaker 1: to you get to pick your goat or like a

874
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:36,799
Speaker 1: lobster and a lobster. Okay, so I understand that. Yeah,

875
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 1: so I understand that goat balls come from goats. I'm

876
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,600
Speaker 1: not I don't know who Romulus is, but I do

877
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:45,319
Speaker 1: know that much. But so he's like, he is he

878
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 1: breeding the goats and how could he even breed them

879
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:51,839
Speaker 1: if he's taking other balls away? And then also like

880
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: that has to meet that's so many goat Yeah, I

881
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 1: mean he's he's he's buying a lot of goats. Okay,

882
00:49:57,560 --> 00:50:00,400
Speaker 1: he's buying fifty goats a month or so, which is

883
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,399
Speaker 1: a sizeable number of goats, and then just like castrating them.

884
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:06,959
Speaker 1: And then yeah, yeah, did the goats do they live

885
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:10,479
Speaker 1: after that? Okay, he's eating the goat. The goat could

886
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 1: stay alive without balls, but I assume they were eaten

887
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:15,799
Speaker 1: after that. I don't really know, though, you know, well,

888
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:19,239
Speaker 1: as I've been written about his goats, I want to

889
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:23,160
Speaker 1: know more about his goats. So he's I feel like,

890
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:27,360
Speaker 1: because he's such a shitty surgeon and he is drunk

891
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 1: all the time, he's probably just accidentally killing these goats

892
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:33,800
Speaker 1: when he's like castrating them or whatever. I'm going to

893
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 1: guess he wasn't very careful with the goat. Definitely not.

894
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 1: I feel so bad for all this, these poor goats.

895
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:45,240
Speaker 1: The goats are victim and the bear is a victim

896
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:48,440
Speaker 1: all of the people who got goat balls shoved into them.

897
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:52,400
Speaker 1: I would say that, Yeah, I feel less bad for

898
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,920
Speaker 1: them than the bear, because the bear didn't do fucking anything,

899
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 1: neither to the goats. I just don't like goats as

900
00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:00,960
Speaker 1: much as I like bears. And that's I guess racism

901
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:04,600
Speaker 1: on my part. I mean, there's no Paddington goat, so

902
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 1: I get it. There's no Paddington goat and there's no

903
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:11,880
Speaker 1: goat on the California State Flague. The goats are baby

904
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:16,560
Speaker 1: goats are so cute the way they jump around, and yeah, yeah,

905
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:20,920
Speaker 1: very cute, very cute animals. I know what you're wondering

906
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:24,279
Speaker 1: at this point, Caitlin, What kind of goat? What kind

907
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:26,880
Speaker 1: of goat did he get the testicles? I do wonder

908
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 1: that because I don't really know the different types of goats. Well.

909
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 1: He preferred to use Toggenburg goat balls because he thought

910
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 1: they were better balls. One time, he did have a

911
00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 1: set of patients from California who demanded that he put

912
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 1: angora goat testicles in them. I mean, I guess because

913
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:47,719
Speaker 1: angora goats are used to make very fancy spiders. Yeah yeah,

914
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 1: and so they wanted they wanted the fanciest goats because

915
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:55,240
Speaker 1: they were Californians. Obviously, cent anga goat testicles stink horribly

916
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 1: and made the testicles of his customers stink horribly. Um

917
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:00,920
Speaker 1: so this this was one of the issues that he

918
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 1: encountered in his goatball practice, because I'm sure they're their

919
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 1: their balls smelled fine otherwise without the angora, Like people

920
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 1: aren't bathing every day back then, certain their nineteen twenties

921
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 1: balls smelled wonderful before the goats. Yeah, okay, So wait,

922
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:24,439
Speaker 1: what is the first type of goat you said? Uh?

923
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 1: Toggenberg goat? Toggenberg. I've never heard the type of goat. Well, now, Caitlin,

924
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:32,839
Speaker 1: if you ever at a party and someone's like, hey,

925
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 1: if I want to replace my testicles with goat testicles,

926
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:37,640
Speaker 1: what type of goat should I use, you'll know it's

927
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:41,360
Speaker 1: a Toggenberg's. There's no other goat to replace your testicles with.

928
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:43,840
Speaker 1: And rest assured that every party I go to that

929
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 1: question is being asked. So oh, I know, I know,

930
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 1: we go to a lot of the same parties and

931
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:52,200
Speaker 1: I'm I'm usually shouting about goat testicles at any given

932
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 1: one of them can confirm mhm. Now, the the issues

933
00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:01,440
Speaker 1: of patients occasionally demanding smelly goat testicles was minor compared

934
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:05,799
Speaker 1: to the major issue presented by real doctor Morris fish Bean. Now,

935
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:08,320
Speaker 1: fish Bean was the editor of the Journal of americ

936
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 1: the American Medical Association or JAMMA, and fish Bean was

937
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 1: like an actual doctor. Uh and the the A m A.

938
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 1: At this point, you know, they still did some stuff

939
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:18,799
Speaker 1: that we would consider quackery. That they were trying to

940
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 1: apply real science to medicine, so they were gradually learning

941
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 1: what didn't work, as opposed to just continuing to jam

942
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:28,840
Speaker 1: goat testicles and people uh for huge amounts of money. Anyway,

943
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 1: according to Quackwatch, phish Bean quote called Brinkley a smooth

944
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:34,759
Speaker 1: tongue charlatan and urged the authorities to provoke his right

945
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:38,040
Speaker 1: to practice. Brinkley's assertion that his procedure could cure conditions

946
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:40,800
Speaker 1: raging from insanity to acne to influenza and high blood

947
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:43,880
Speaker 1: pressure amounted to quackery. Fish Being said in response to

948
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 1: this Brinkley called the American Medical Association a meat cutters union,

949
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:49,439
Speaker 1: in charge that its members were jealous of him because

950
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:54,160
Speaker 1: they were losing business. So by nine two, John Brinkley

951
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 1: had gotten rich enough selling quack nonsense remedies to make

952
00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:58,680
Speaker 1: vain men feel younger that there was really only one

953
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:01,800
Speaker 1: place on earth for him to go. Now, next, Los Angeles.

954
00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:07,160
Speaker 1: Obviously that's where you go. That's where you go. There

955
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 1: he met up with Harry Chandler, the owner of the

956
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:12,799
Speaker 1: Los Angeles Times. Chandler had invited him out to California

957
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:14,600
Speaker 1: in the first place to do a story on him,

958
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:17,640
Speaker 1: because Harry Chandler was the true paragon of journalism. He

959
00:54:17,680 --> 00:54:20,160
Speaker 1: intended to do this story by having Dr Brinkley insert

960
00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 1: goat testicles into one of his editors. He told John,

961
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 1: if the operation is a success, I'll make you the

962
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 1: most famous surgeon in America. If it's a failure, I'll

963
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:32,279
Speaker 1: damn you with the same gusto. Now, the issue that

964
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:35,760
Speaker 1: confronted Dr Brinkley is that under California law, his medical

965
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:38,880
Speaker 1: license was not valid. Thankfully, this was the nineteen twenties

966
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:40,719
Speaker 1: and Harry Chandler was able to secure him a thirty

967
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,680
Speaker 1: day permit to practice medicine, and so doctor John Brinkley

968
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 1: began cutting out goat testicles and sticking them inside human

969
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 1: beings once more. He implanted new balls and Chandler's editor

970
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:52,880
Speaker 1: in a U. S. Circuit Court judge, in several unnamed

971
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:56,640
Speaker 1: movie stars, and according to rumor, even in Harry Chandler himself.

972
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,440
Speaker 1: Many of his patients gave his work rave reviews, as

973
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:01,920
Speaker 1: can be seen in the title of this nineteen l

974
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:05,960
Speaker 1: A Times article, New Life and Glands. Doctor Brinkley's patients

975
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,600
Speaker 1: he has show improvement many victims of incurable diseases. I

976
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 1: could twelve hundred operations all are successful. Do you think,

977
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 1: like Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton have entirely possible goat

978
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 1: balls in their bodies? I think yeah, he even I

979
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:26,920
Speaker 1: think he met Buster Keaton and Buster Keaton made a

980
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:30,879
Speaker 1: movie in this time that referenced goat gland operations. It's

981
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:34,480
Speaker 1: entirely yeah, it's entirely possible. Like we know several movie

982
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 1: stars because it's like their movie stars, if you tell them,

983
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 1: you can make them young again and funck better. Like

984
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:45,879
Speaker 1: that's that's Hollywood's never changed. Like like if he came

985
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:49,360
Speaker 1: to town, today and people believed this, like fucking every

986
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 1: famous guy in town would be Yeah, who else Fatty

987
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:55,120
Speaker 1: are Buckle? Was that a I feel like that was

988
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:58,319
Speaker 1: a guy from that era. I should know this sever

989
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:02,759
Speaker 1: a guy. This is before he crushed that woman to

990
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:06,839
Speaker 1: death accidentally. Well that's probably not what happened, but that's

991
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:08,759
Speaker 1: what he got, That's what he got tired for. It

992
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:10,799
Speaker 1: seems like he kind of got screwed over on that one.

993
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:12,840
Speaker 1: Uh and may have actually been a nice guy. I

994
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 1: don't know if either. We'll do some research about it.

995
00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 1: Yeah I did. Did we talk about it in the

996
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:23,360
Speaker 1: episode about the Nazis in Hollywood? Um? Speaking of which

997
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:28,239
Speaker 1: Nazis do come into this story later? Oh? Yes, it's

998
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:32,799
Speaker 1: it's gonna be fun now. After performing worth of operations,

999
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 1: John Brinkley hit upon the idea of expanding his practice.

1000
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:38,560
Speaker 1: He decided to open a new clinic and in Sonata, California.

1001
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,120
Speaker 1: I secured a location at in Sonata because of what

1002
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:45,279
Speaker 1: appeared to be climactic conditions peculiarly favorable to goat gland operations.

1003
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 1: To perform the operation most successfully, the surgeon should be

1004
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:51,279
Speaker 1: located where the climate ranges around seventy degrees and is

1005
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:55,440
Speaker 1: not subject to shop changes. So you really want those

1006
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:59,360
Speaker 1: cool southern California breezes on your goatballs? Yes you do,

1007
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 1: of course you do. That's just basic science. Yeah. Absolutely.

1008
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:07,520
Speaker 1: But alas, John Brinkley's ability to practice in the Golden

1009
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:10,280
Speaker 1: State relied on his ability to get a permanent medical

1010
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:13,080
Speaker 1: license there, and this was something the state of California

1011
00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 1: was unwilling to grant him do. In large part to

1012
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 1: the crusading work of Dr Morris Fish, Beam Brinkley found

1013
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 1: himself denied and forced back to Milford. John put a

1014
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 1: good face on it, claiming he'd never really wanted to

1015
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 1: move out to California anyway, and that everyone knew the

1016
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:29,600
Speaker 1: calm restorative powers of the Kansas countryside were better for

1017
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 1: a hospital than stupid old California. Yeah. The reality is

1018
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:37,440
Speaker 1: that he was deeply worried. Morris Fish, being in the

1019
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:39,640
Speaker 1: a m A, were increasingly writing his ass for all

1020
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:42,760
Speaker 1: of the you know, the dangerously unregulated surgery that he

1021
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 1: was performing. Uh. Brinkley fired back by having his publicity

1022
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:53,600
Speaker 1: people shoot out even more testimonials from satisfied goat testical recipientsials, testimonials.

1023
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:59,080
Speaker 1: I didn't even get that that's good. I'm here for testimonials. Yeah,

1024
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 1: well make that soby can we T shirt that she's nodding,

1025
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:12,480
Speaker 1: not reluctantly, she's nodding enthusiastically. M Maybe goatball recipient T

1026
00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:16,720
Speaker 1: shirts that just say I have a goat's testicles. I mean, we'll,

1027
00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:20,280
Speaker 1: we'll work on the copy. We'll we'll, we'll keep, we'll keep,

1028
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 1: We'll keep being in that back and forth. Brinkley's biggest

1029
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:29,440
Speaker 1: coup was Senator Wesley Staley of Colorado, who called Brinkley

1030
00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:31,480
Speaker 1: and his wife quote two of the finest people and

1031
00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:34,680
Speaker 1: the greatest benefactors to mankind on earth. I wear goat

1032
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 1: glands and I'm proud of it. That's what we put

1033
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 1: on the shirt. And then blow that testimonial testimonial. Dr

1034
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 1: Brinkley collected a hundred different testimonials and testimonials into a

1035
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:50,560
Speaker 1: book called Shadows and Sunshine and published it in an

1036
00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:52,520
Speaker 1: effort to fight back against what he claimed was the

1037
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:56,000
Speaker 1: A m A's dangerous misinformation. The A m A tried

1038
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:58,760
Speaker 1: to repost, most notably with a series of posters titled

1039
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:02,360
Speaker 1: Testimonials Are Worth Us, which featured testimonials from patients claiming

1040
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,680
Speaker 1: to have been cured to various diseases from quack medicine

1041
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 1: on one side, and then those patients death certificates listening

1042
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 1: the cause of death as the exact illness they claimed

1043
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:12,760
Speaker 1: to have had cured on the other side. These facts

1044
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 1: had close to zero impact on the American people. Folks

1045
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:19,160
Speaker 1: still clamored to spend sixty five Yeah, yeah, exactly. People. Still,

1046
00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:22,560
Speaker 1: we're more than willing to spend seven fifty dollars each

1047
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:25,040
Speaker 1: on goat glands. But what about the folks who were

1048
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 1: too poor for Dr Brinkley's revolutionary testical surgery. Well, according

1049
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:33,120
Speaker 1: to the book Charlatan Quote, Brinkley had this angle covered

1050
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 1: already with his special gland emotion, which he sold mail

1051
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:43,480
Speaker 1: order for a hundred dollars. Rectal syringe included. Oh, if

1052
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:46,400
Speaker 1: you couldn't afford to get goatballs implanted in your body,

1053
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:49,240
Speaker 1: you would send you a bunch of ground up goat

1054
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:53,680
Speaker 1: testicles and an ass syringe. Okay, let me be clear

1055
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 1: about this. Sure, if i've the I feel like you

1056
00:59:58,240 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 1: don't need a syringe too and search something into your rectum.

1057
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:04,600
Speaker 1: Your rectum is already like has an opening that you

1058
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:07,919
Speaker 1: can put stuff in there. Why but you really want

1059
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:09,800
Speaker 1: you want to squirt this stuff up there. You really

1060
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:11,120
Speaker 1: want to. I mean, I don't I don't know if

1061
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:14,400
Speaker 1: you've ever squirted squirted ground up goat testicles inside your asshole,

1062
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:17,080
Speaker 1: but you you really want to want to get them

1063
01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 1: right up in them guts. Okay, right up in them guts.

1064
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:23,400
Speaker 1: That's because that's where testicles do their most important work,

1065
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:27,600
Speaker 1: is right up in them guts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah exactly, Okay, Yeah,

1066
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:30,960
Speaker 1: of course, of course this is just basic science. We all,

1067
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,080
Speaker 1: we all, we all graduated eighth grade. We know how

1068
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:35,840
Speaker 1: science works. You shove, you shove the goat balls as

1069
01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 1: far up your ass as you can go, and then

1070
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 1: you're healthy again. Okay. I just I'm like, I want

1071
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 1: to puke at the thought of a rectal wringe. Yeah,

1072
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:47,960
Speaker 1: but it's one of the worst combination of words that

1073
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:55,760
Speaker 1: I can imagine. Okay. Already. Of course people imitated Dr

1074
01:00:55,840 --> 01:01:00,040
Speaker 1: Brinkley's goat gland uh products. There was the Youth and

1075
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 1: Chemical Laboratory of Illinois, the Vitalo Gland Company of Denver,

1076
01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:08,520
Speaker 1: gland all gland tone Glandine. Americans in the nineteen twenties

1077
01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:12,320
Speaker 1: absolutely could not get enough glands. The money flowed in,

1078
01:01:12,440 --> 01:01:14,960
Speaker 1: and John Brinkley eventually realized that he needed to do

1079
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:18,880
Speaker 1: something with it. He decided to build a radio transmitter.

1080
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:26,680
Speaker 1: He didn't call that, didit? Nobody? Nobody calls that ship. Yeah,

1081
01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:30,160
Speaker 1: he decides to build a radio transmitter in He got

1082
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 1: his first broadcasting license and started construction of a massive

1083
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 1: transmitting tower, one of the very first in the American Midwest. Now,

1084
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:40,520
Speaker 1: radio wasn't really something that existed in a big way

1085
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 1: back then. It was early enough in the history of

1086
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:43,960
Speaker 1: the medium that there was actually quite a bit of

1087
01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:46,360
Speaker 1: debate as to whether or not advertising should even be

1088
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:49,360
Speaker 1: allowed on the radio. Most of what was out there

1089
01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:52,800
Speaker 1: was just broadcast of symphony orchestras. Another really boring bullshit

1090
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:57,400
Speaker 1: Brinkley station, KFKB, which stood for Kansas First Kansas Best,

1091
01:01:57,880 --> 01:02:00,880
Speaker 1: was going to be different. Well. He waited for construction

1092
01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:03,240
Speaker 1: to be completed. John Brinkley and many left the critical

1093
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:06,240
Speaker 1: business of implanting goatballs into people to their assistance and

1094
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 1: went on an ocean liner voyage to Asia. They stopped

1095
01:02:09,240 --> 01:02:11,960
Speaker 1: in China, where Dr Brinkley inserted goat testicles into the

1096
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 1: president of the Bank of Peaking. Then they steamed hard

1097
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:17,640
Speaker 1: to Japan, where Brinkley proceeded to insert more goat glands

1098
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 1: into more human males. On April nineteen twenty three, the

1099
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:25,280
Speaker 1: Gettysburg Star and Sentinel ran this article gland transplantation now

1100
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:28,000
Speaker 1: used by Japan to put aged infirm back at work,

1101
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:35,920
Speaker 1: high class goat prices sore okay. Quote from that article,

1102
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:39,640
Speaker 1: Goat gland transplantation has been made compulsory in Japan by

1103
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:42,680
Speaker 1: the government in order to rejuvenate aged charity patients. Within

1104
01:02:42,720 --> 01:02:44,640
Speaker 1: the past few months, more than two thousand of these

1105
01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:47,120
Speaker 1: inmates have been undergone the operation and are all again

1106
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:50,920
Speaker 1: earning their own living. So that's exciting. Yeah, it was.

1107
01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:54,920
Speaker 1: It was a lie obviously, I mean, yes, it was.

1108
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:57,160
Speaker 1: But also if you if you look at it from

1109
01:02:57,160 --> 01:02:59,479
Speaker 1: the point of view that it's not a lie. He's

1110
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:02,800
Speaker 1: actually a really good person. Yeah, if you if you

1111
01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 1: pretend it's not a lie, he's an incredible doctor. I'm

1112
01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:09,600
Speaker 1: surprised that he when you're saying earlier that he like

1113
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:13,200
Speaker 1: sank so much of his money into like helping his

1114
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:15,480
Speaker 1: town and I mean buying a bear that he did

1115
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:20,280
Speaker 1: later shoot and kill. But I mean he is I

1116
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:25,960
Speaker 1: suppose he's he's more um philanthropic than I would have imagined.

1117
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:29,560
Speaker 1: But yeah, and we'll get to that in a little bit.

1118
01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:32,040
Speaker 1: Some of that may have been self preservation, because it

1119
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:33,760
Speaker 1: pays off for him in a big way in the

1120
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:37,880
Speaker 1: second part of this story. Yeah, but I think also

1121
01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:39,640
Speaker 1: he just kind of wanted to be the biggest man

1122
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:41,440
Speaker 1: in town. And if you're going to be the biggest

1123
01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:43,440
Speaker 1: man in town and you don't want people to hate you,

1124
01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 1: you got to bribe them with nice things, right right, Okay.

1125
01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:51,520
Speaker 1: Dr Brinkley, through his interlocuters in the media, began to

1126
01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:53,840
Speaker 1: claim that the goat glands he was putting in people

1127
01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:56,479
Speaker 1: did more than just restore their vitality. They helped breed

1128
01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:59,280
Speaker 1: a better class of human being. It was thinking that

1129
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:02,040
Speaker 1: was delirious lee in line with the popular eugenics talking

1130
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:04,720
Speaker 1: points of the days. One of his minions, Dr W. H.

1131
01:04:04,800 --> 01:04:07,560
Speaker 1: Blue of New York City told reporters the children of

1132
01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:09,720
Speaker 1: parents who have been endowed with goat glands a healthy

1133
01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:12,600
Speaker 1: and alert to an unusual degree. New glands mean not

1134
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:14,720
Speaker 1: only new vitality to men and women now living, but

1135
01:04:14,760 --> 01:04:17,360
Speaker 1: they actually mean better babies, I say, in this and

1136
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:20,320
Speaker 1: making possible the superior type of human being. Dr Brinkley

1137
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:24,479
Speaker 1: has made a discovery of the first importance to mankind. Wait,

1138
01:04:24,600 --> 01:04:26,560
Speaker 1: is this the part of the story that the Nazis

1139
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:29,640
Speaker 1: coming Because I know, shockingly enough, this is not the

1140
01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:33,240
Speaker 1: part of the story where the Nazis come into it. Now.

1141
01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:36,160
Speaker 1: Dr Brinkley was in reality about to make a discovery

1142
01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:38,160
Speaker 1: that would change the course of mankind and all of

1143
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:40,960
Speaker 1: our lives forever. But that discovery had nothing to do

1144
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:43,400
Speaker 1: with goat glands. It is, however, going to come next

1145
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:45,840
Speaker 1: in part two of the epic tale of John Brinkley,

1146
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:48,240
Speaker 1: the man who loved adding the balls of other animals

1147
01:04:48,320 --> 01:04:51,400
Speaker 1: to the balls of human beings. What a good cliffhanger.

1148
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:54,280
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. I was I was proud of

1149
01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:58,240
Speaker 1: that one too. Caitlin, you wanna plug some plug doubles?

1150
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 1: Sure don't. Don't. Don't plug goat glands into the audience,

1151
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:07,400
Speaker 1: because there's been enough of that done already. Well, I

1152
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 1: guess I have to undo some damage I did suit

1153
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:15,920
Speaker 1: my patients. Um No. You can follow me on Twitter

1154
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:20,480
Speaker 1: and Instagram at Caitlin Durante. That's c A I T

1155
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:24,720
Speaker 1: L I N. And then you can listen to the

1156
01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:30,320
Speaker 1: Bechtel Cast, my podcast about the representation of women in movies.

1157
01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:32,960
Speaker 1: That super producer Sophie sitting right next to me also

1158
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:38,320
Speaker 1: produces um. And you know, there hasn't been a biopic

1159
01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:42,760
Speaker 1: made about John Brinkley, but if there what it was,

1160
01:05:43,720 --> 01:05:45,640
Speaker 1: you can bet your ass we would have covered it

1161
01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:49,800
Speaker 1: on the Bechtel cast. You what, I think it would

1162
01:05:49,800 --> 01:05:54,600
Speaker 1: pass the Bechtel test because John Brinkley was a feminist icon. Yes,

1163
01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:58,880
Speaker 1: and actually little known fact um placing the testicles of

1164
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:03,080
Speaker 1: goats in to a human man. The act of that,

1165
01:06:03,680 --> 01:06:06,920
Speaker 1: surprisingly enough, does pass the Bechdel test. Yeah, that's a

1166
01:06:07,080 --> 01:06:10,920
Speaker 1: that's a little discussed corollary to the Bechtel test that

1167
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,760
Speaker 1: you can either have two women have a conversation that

1168
01:06:13,760 --> 01:06:17,480
Speaker 1: that doesn't involve a manner relationship, or you can have

1169
01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:20,680
Speaker 1: somebody insert goat testicles and do a human scrotum. Right,

1170
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:24,080
Speaker 1: And I'm glad that we've cleared that up right now,

1171
01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:27,600
Speaker 1: right now, it's important. Yes, So yeah, check out my

1172
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:33,840
Speaker 1: podcast and yeah, follow me on those places. Okay, you

1173
01:06:33,840 --> 01:06:35,720
Speaker 1: can find me on Twitter at I right, Okay, you

1174
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:37,840
Speaker 1: can find me on the Graham as the kids call

1175
01:06:37,920 --> 01:06:40,600
Speaker 1: it at at Bastard's Pod, and also you can find

1176
01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:43,800
Speaker 1: this podcast on the gram at Bastard's Pot. You can't

1177
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:46,040
Speaker 1: find me there because Sophie runs both of those because

1178
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:49,760
Speaker 1: I am not allowed. Um, but that's for for the best,

1179
01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:51,880
Speaker 1: for the best. I'm sure she's nodding, is she not

1180
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:56,959
Speaker 1: in Caitlin, Yes, enthusiastically. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that seems right. Um.

1181
01:06:57,080 --> 01:06:59,240
Speaker 1: You can find t shirts on t public dot com.

1182
01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:02,360
Speaker 1: I have another podcast called it Could Happen here. Uh

1183
01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:05,760
Speaker 1: if you feel like, after this lively story of Testical implants,

1184
01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:09,000
Speaker 1: you want to hear horrifying predictions of the Civil War

1185
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:13,120
Speaker 1: in modern America, you're a weirdo. But but that podcast exists.

1186
01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:18,600
Speaker 1: Maybe check it out. Um, that's that's all I got.

1187
01:07:18,760 --> 01:07:24,040
Speaker 1: Uh love fantasticals.