Speaker 1: Don't be out here acting like a donkey. Hee ho, bitch,
Speaker 1: it's time for Donkey of the Day. I'm a big boy.
Speaker 1: I could take it if he feel I deserve it.
Speaker 1: Ain't no big deal. I know Charlotte made. God's gonna
Speaker 1: have to honestly sayt his mouth. You gotta say something
Speaker 1: you may not agree with. It doesn't mean I'm meant.
Speaker 2: Get that donk that donkey that don't don't don't dun't
Speaker 2: dunk donk the other.
Speaker 1: Day right here, it's a breakfast club. Bitches.
Speaker 2: You can call me the donkey of the day, but
Speaker 2: like I'd mean no harm.
Speaker 3: Donkey of the day for Tuesday, May sixteenth, and make
Speaker 3: sure it's May sixteenth.
Speaker 1: May sixteenth, Frank, Yes, Yes, it's May sixteenth.
Speaker 3: Goes to a twenty eight year old Colorado man who
Speaker 3: has not been named, when he was arrested for drinking
Speaker 3: and driving, speeding and resisting arrest. Listen, ever so often
Speaker 3: I have to get on this radio and remind you
Speaker 3: all of the dangers of drinking and driving.
Speaker 1: Why, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I can't believe that in twenty twenty three, folks are
Speaker 3: still catching DUIs with all these ride share you know
Speaker 3: apps that are available. There is absolutely never a reason
Speaker 3: to get behind the wheel of a vehicle intoxicated. I know,
Speaker 3: I I've told you all about the many drunk driving
Speaker 3: campaigns that exist. Drive sober or get pulled over. Buzz
Speaker 3: driving is drunk driving. The drive sober, no Regrets campaign
Speaker 3: that has the billboards with the car totaled and then
Speaker 3: it says you survived.
Speaker 1: They didn't.
Speaker 3: Powerful, powerful anti drunk driving campaigns exist, so we can't
Speaker 3: act like we don't know. But yet you still have
Speaker 3: folks like this twenty eight year old in Colorado who
Speaker 3: choose to drink and drive. Not drinking and driving is
Speaker 3: always donkey of the day worthy. But that's not the
Speaker 3: only reason this twenty eight y old man is getting
Speaker 3: donkey of the day to day.
Speaker 1: See.
Speaker 3: One of the most fascinating things about drunk drivers is
Speaker 3: they always act like they not drunk. Even when they
Speaker 3: are visibly intoxicated, they will say they're not drunk. That's
Speaker 3: why field sobriety tests are so hilarious because people choose
Speaker 3: to take these field sobriety tests knowing they don't have
Speaker 3: what it takes to pass them. And most of the time,
Speaker 3: when you're drunk. You smell like you're drunk, you talk
Speaker 3: like you're drunk, and you think like you're drunk, and
Speaker 3: you have no idea how stupid you sound. But I
Speaker 3: guarantee never in the history of life have you heard
Speaker 3: a drunk story like this one. See, this man was drunk, okay,
Speaker 3: pissy drunk, and the police knew he was drunk out
Speaker 3: of his mind, but he absolutely confirmed he was drunk
Speaker 3: when he did what he did to attempt to get
Speaker 3: out of this situation. Let's go to NBC newsan nine
Speaker 3: for the report.
Speaker 4: Please rough night for at least a driver in a
Speaker 4: southeastern Colorado town. That's because he tried to switch seats
Speaker 4: with his dog after being pulled over on suspicion of DUI. Now,
Speaker 4: it happened in the small town of Springfield that's in
Speaker 4: Colorado southeastern corner. Springfield police say an officer pulled over
Speaker 4: a driver going fifty two in a thirty and then
Speaker 4: the driver tried to switch seats with his dog. The
Speaker 4: dog had been in the passenger seat at please say
Speaker 4: there were also two sober people in the back seat,
Speaker 4: one of whom the actual owner of the car. Springfield's
Speaker 4: police chief says he doesn't know why one of them
Speaker 4: wasn't driving. The driver, who they found in the passenger
Speaker 4: seat was booked on several charges as two prior warrants
Speaker 4: coming out of publo. Not every crime comes with a
Speaker 4: criminal mastermind, it seems like, no, it does not. Depending
Speaker 4: on the status of the person who switched the dog
Speaker 4: may have been a better driver.
Speaker 1: Humans are so silly.
Speaker 3: I mean, we're just the silly species. Tell me you're intoxicated,
Speaker 3: without telling me you're intoxicated. You get pulled over for
Speaker 3: drunk driving, You got two sober people in the back seat,
Speaker 3: your dog in the passenger seat. Instead of picking the
Speaker 3: two sober people to switch places with, you switch places
Speaker 3: with your dog, not dogs, and slang like this your homie,
Speaker 3: like your dog, the actual animal, the domesticated descendant of
Speaker 3: the wolf. You put that carnivore in the driver's seat
Speaker 3: and look the police dead in AI and telling them
Speaker 3: your fall legged fairy friend is driving. You know, I
Speaker 3: think it's high time that we as humans apologize the dogs. Okay,
Speaker 3: we say things like that man's best friend, but the
Speaker 3: reality is, if you had a best friend that you
Speaker 3: lied on as much as we lie on dogs, that
Speaker 3: wouldn't be your friend.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: Think about the lies we tell on our dogs. The
Speaker 3: biggest my dog ate my homework.
Speaker 1: Okay. First of all, how come your dogs are hungry?
Speaker 1: They would have to eat your homework? All right? That
Speaker 1: should have always been the first response to anyone who
Speaker 1: used this lie.
Speaker 3: Who is who is neglecting and not feeding this mongrel
Speaker 3: at your house?
Speaker 1: Okay, that they had to eat your homework? And how
Speaker 1: many times have you farted amongst company? Okay?
Speaker 3: One of those silent killers that for whatever reason, you
Speaker 3: thought it wouldn't smell, but it did and you blamed
Speaker 3: it on rover. Okay, We as humans ow dogs a massive,
Speaker 3: massive apology. And what we don't realize is humans, is
Speaker 3: that dogs have the ability to detect deception. There was
Speaker 3: a study that researchers at the University of Vienna did
Speaker 3: that shows dogs know when your ass is lying, okay,
Speaker 3: when you're telling him you don't got any more scraps
Speaker 3: to share, when you're telling her it's too cold outside
Speaker 3: for a walk in the summertime, when they balking and
Speaker 3: won't stop barking because they know that man you've got
Speaker 3: in your bedroom is not your husband. Yes, research is
Speaker 3: at the University of Vienna said this week, dogs know
Speaker 3: when you're lying to them about almost anything.
Speaker 1: And what's sad.
Speaker 3: Dogs don't speak the same language as humans, so even
Speaker 3: when they trying to explain to other humans that this
Speaker 3: human is lying, it just sounds.
Speaker 1: Like a bunch of noise, a bunch of barking.
Speaker 3: Don't believe me, But we actually have audio footage from
Speaker 3: the actual traffic stop. This is the actual traffic stop
Speaker 3: that happened in Colorado with a human who was drunk
Speaker 3: driving switched seats with his dog.
Speaker 1: Let's listen.
Speaker 5: Good morning, licensed registration. Please Okay, well, mister Barkley, do
Speaker 5: you know why I pulled you over? Actually you were
Speaker 5: swerving in between lanes. Your car smells like kivels and bits,
Speaker 5: and I see the empty bottles on your floor and
Speaker 5: you should get a DWB. Oh you puppy, No, not
Speaker 5: driving while black DWB is a dog with beers. I
Speaker 5: don't care if you're having a hoof day, you don't
Speaker 5: drink and drive.
Speaker 1: Dog on it.
Speaker 5: Now, step out of the car. You just got yourself
Speaker 5: sent to the dog house.
Speaker 1: Free fight.
Speaker 3: Oh please give this twenty eight y old Colorado man
Speaker 3: who switched seats with his dog to avoided DUI the
Speaker 3: biggest he hull.
Speaker 1: It's the damn shame. Will we be doing the dogs nowadays?
Speaker 3: All right, so we got I know you're not about
Speaker 3: to play I'm not about to play a game.
Speaker 1: I guess what race it is with the damn dog.
Speaker 1: Don't look at me like that.
Speaker 3: Okay, no, no, I don't even know what race the
Speaker 3: person is?
Speaker 1: Are the dog? All right?
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, all right, well thank you for that
Speaker 2: donkey today everybody on B E T will see you
Speaker 2: guys tomorrow.
Speaker 1: The credits are rolling on BET right now.
Speaker 3: That's right, and BET if you're disgusted as I am,
Speaker 3: you should be because humans are a silly, silly species.
Speaker 1: But these are the people you trusted with CHAT, GPT
Speaker 1: and AI.
Speaker 2: All right, well, let's open up the phone lines. Let's
Speaker 2: play a stupid game. Mhm eight hundred five eight five one.
Speaker 2: I want to hear from you guys out there. What's
Speaker 2: the craziest thing you blamed on your dog?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yes, this is a good one. This is a good one.
Speaker 1: What is the craziest thing you've ever blamed on your dog?
Speaker 2: I remember we had a producer here one time and
Speaker 2: she didn't make it, but I just got to tell
Speaker 2: a story. She couldn't make it to work because she
Speaker 2: was locked in the bathroom by her cat. And she
Speaker 2: said her cat hit the lock button on the on
Speaker 2: the door knob and locked it in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: You know, we love you. You know who you are.
Speaker 2: Remember that same person, that same person said that when
Speaker 2: the law didn't go along and along with that was
Speaker 2: another time. Yes, so we're asking eight hundred five eight
Speaker 2: five one oh five one. What's one thing that your
Speaker 2: dog did that you you know you blamed your dog
Speaker 2: on that.
Speaker 3: You did that you blamed your dog on that's the question,
Speaker 3: and you owe your dog in apology. Take this time
Speaker 3: this morning to not only tell us what you lied
Speaker 3: uh on your dog about, but also to apologize to
Speaker 3: your dog for lying damn it.
Speaker 2: Eight hundred and five eight five to one.
Speaker 1: I mean, let's have this conversation. Yes, long overdue. The
Speaker 1: Breakfast Club.
Speaker 3: Donkey today is brought to you by the law office
Speaker 3: of Michael s Laminsoft. Don't be a donkey. Dot pound
Speaker 3: two fifty on your cell and say the bull. If
Speaker 3: you've been hurt in a construction accident, that's pound two
Speaker 3: five oh, from your cell, and say the bull