WEBVTT - DONKEY: Man Trades Seats With Dog To Avoid DUI Arrest

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<v Speaker 1>Don't be out here acting like a donkey. Hee ho, bitch,

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<v Speaker 1>it's time for Donkey of the Day. I'm a big boy.

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<v Speaker 1>I could take it if he feel I deserve it.

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<v Speaker 1>Ain't no big deal. I know Charlotte made. God's gonna

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<v Speaker 1>have to honestly sayt his mouth. You gotta say something

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<v Speaker 1>you may not agree with. It doesn't mean I'm meant.

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<v Speaker 2>Get that donk that donkey that don't don't don't dun't

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<v Speaker 2>dunk donk the other.

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<v Speaker 1>Day right here, it's a breakfast club. Bitches.

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<v Speaker 2>You can call me the donkey of the day, but

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<v Speaker 2>like I'd mean no harm.

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<v Speaker 3>Donkey of the day for Tuesday, May sixteenth, and make

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<v Speaker 3>sure it's May sixteenth.

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<v Speaker 1>May sixteenth, Frank, Yes, Yes, it's May sixteenth.

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<v Speaker 3>Goes to a twenty eight year old Colorado man who

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<v Speaker 3>has not been named, when he was arrested for drinking

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<v Speaker 3>and driving, speeding and resisting arrest. Listen, ever so often

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<v Speaker 3>I have to get on this radio and remind you

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<v Speaker 3>all of the dangers of drinking and driving.

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<v Speaker 1>Why, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I can't believe that in twenty twenty three, folks are

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<v Speaker 3>still catching DUIs with all these ride share you know

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<v Speaker 3>apps that are available. There is absolutely never a reason

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<v Speaker 3>to get behind the wheel of a vehicle intoxicated. I know,

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<v Speaker 3>I I've told you all about the many drunk driving

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<v Speaker 3>campaigns that exist. Drive sober or get pulled over. Buzz

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<v Speaker 3>driving is drunk driving. The drive sober, no Regrets campaign

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<v Speaker 3>that has the billboards with the car totaled and then

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<v Speaker 3>it says you survived.

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<v Speaker 1>They didn't.

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<v Speaker 3>Powerful, powerful anti drunk driving campaigns exist, so we can't

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<v Speaker 3>act like we don't know. But yet you still have

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<v Speaker 3>folks like this twenty eight year old in Colorado who

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<v Speaker 3>choose to drink and drive. Not drinking and driving is

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<v Speaker 3>always donkey of the day worthy. But that's not the

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<v Speaker 3>only reason this twenty eight y old man is getting

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<v Speaker 3>donkey of the day to day.

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<v Speaker 1>See.

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<v Speaker 3>One of the most fascinating things about drunk drivers is

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<v Speaker 3>they always act like they not drunk. Even when they

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<v Speaker 3>are visibly intoxicated, they will say they're not drunk. That's

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<v Speaker 3>why field sobriety tests are so hilarious because people choose

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<v Speaker 3>to take these field sobriety tests knowing they don't have

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<v Speaker 3>what it takes to pass them. And most of the time,

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<v Speaker 3>when you're drunk. You smell like you're drunk, you talk

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<v Speaker 3>like you're drunk, and you think like you're drunk, and

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<v Speaker 3>you have no idea how stupid you sound. But I

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<v Speaker 3>guarantee never in the history of life have you heard

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<v Speaker 3>a drunk story like this one. See, this man was drunk, okay,

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<v Speaker 3>pissy drunk, and the police knew he was drunk out

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<v Speaker 3>of his mind, but he absolutely confirmed he was drunk

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<v Speaker 3>when he did what he did to attempt to get

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<v Speaker 3>out of this situation. Let's go to NBC newsan nine

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<v Speaker 3>for the report.

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<v Speaker 4>Please rough night for at least a driver in a

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<v Speaker 4>southeastern Colorado town. That's because he tried to switch seats

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<v Speaker 4>with his dog after being pulled over on suspicion of DUI. Now,

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<v Speaker 4>it happened in the small town of Springfield that's in

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<v Speaker 4>Colorado southeastern corner. Springfield police say an officer pulled over

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<v Speaker 4>a driver going fifty two in a thirty and then

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<v Speaker 4>the driver tried to switch seats with his dog. The

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<v Speaker 4>dog had been in the passenger seat at please say

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<v Speaker 4>there were also two sober people in the back seat,

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<v Speaker 4>one of whom the actual owner of the car. Springfield's

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<v Speaker 4>police chief says he doesn't know why one of them

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<v Speaker 4>wasn't driving. The driver, who they found in the passenger

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<v Speaker 4>seat was booked on several charges as two prior warrants

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<v Speaker 4>coming out of publo. Not every crime comes with a

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<v Speaker 4>criminal mastermind, it seems like, no, it does not. Depending

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<v Speaker 4>on the status of the person who switched the dog

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<v Speaker 4>may have been a better driver.

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<v Speaker 1>Humans are so silly.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, we're just the silly species. Tell me you're intoxicated,

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<v Speaker 3>without telling me you're intoxicated. You get pulled over for

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<v Speaker 3>drunk driving, You got two sober people in the back seat,

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<v Speaker 3>your dog in the passenger seat. Instead of picking the

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<v Speaker 3>two sober people to switch places with, you switch places

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<v Speaker 3>with your dog, not dogs, and slang like this your homie,

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<v Speaker 3>like your dog, the actual animal, the domesticated descendant of

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<v Speaker 3>the wolf. You put that carnivore in the driver's seat

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<v Speaker 3>and look the police dead in AI and telling them

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<v Speaker 3>your fall legged fairy friend is driving. You know, I

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<v Speaker 3>think it's high time that we as humans apologize the dogs. Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>we say things like that man's best friend, but the

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<v Speaker 3>reality is, if you had a best friend that you

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<v Speaker 3>lied on as much as we lie on dogs, that

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<v Speaker 3>wouldn't be your friend.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay.

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<v Speaker 3>Think about the lies we tell on our dogs. The

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<v Speaker 3>biggest my dog ate my homework.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay. First of all, how come your dogs are hungry?

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<v Speaker 1>They would have to eat your homework? All right? That

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<v Speaker 1>should have always been the first response to anyone who

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<v Speaker 1>used this lie.

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<v Speaker 3>Who is who is neglecting and not feeding this mongrel

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<v Speaker 3>at your house?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, that they had to eat your homework? And how

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<v Speaker 1>many times have you farted amongst company? Okay?

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<v Speaker 3>One of those silent killers that for whatever reason, you

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<v Speaker 3>thought it wouldn't smell, but it did and you blamed

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<v Speaker 3>it on rover. Okay, We as humans ow dogs a massive,

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<v Speaker 3>massive apology. And what we don't realize is humans, is

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<v Speaker 3>that dogs have the ability to detect deception. There was

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<v Speaker 3>a study that researchers at the University of Vienna did

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<v Speaker 3>that shows dogs know when your ass is lying, okay,

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<v Speaker 3>when you're telling him you don't got any more scraps

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<v Speaker 3>to share, when you're telling her it's too cold outside

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<v Speaker 3>for a walk in the summertime, when they balking and

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<v Speaker 3>won't stop barking because they know that man you've got

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<v Speaker 3>in your bedroom is not your husband. Yes, research is

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<v Speaker 3>at the University of Vienna said this week, dogs know

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<v Speaker 3>when you're lying to them about almost anything.

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<v Speaker 1>And what's sad.

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<v Speaker 3>Dogs don't speak the same language as humans, so even

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<v Speaker 3>when they trying to explain to other humans that this

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<v Speaker 3>human is lying, it just sounds.

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<v Speaker 1>Like a bunch of noise, a bunch of barking.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't believe me, But we actually have audio footage from

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<v Speaker 3>the actual traffic stop. This is the actual traffic stop

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<v Speaker 3>that happened in Colorado with a human who was drunk

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<v Speaker 3>driving switched seats with his dog.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's listen.

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<v Speaker 5>Good morning, licensed registration. Please Okay, well, mister Barkley, do

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<v Speaker 5>you know why I pulled you over? Actually you were

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<v Speaker 5>swerving in between lanes. Your car smells like kivels and bits,

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<v Speaker 5>and I see the empty bottles on your floor and

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<v Speaker 5>you should get a DWB. Oh you puppy, No, not

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<v Speaker 5>driving while black DWB is a dog with beers. I

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<v Speaker 5>don't care if you're having a hoof day, you don't

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<v Speaker 5>drink and drive.

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<v Speaker 1>Dog on it.

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<v Speaker 5>Now, step out of the car. You just got yourself

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<v Speaker 5>sent to the dog house.

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<v Speaker 1>Free fight.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh please give this twenty eight y old Colorado man

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<v Speaker 3>who switched seats with his dog to avoided DUI the

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<v Speaker 3>biggest he hull.

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<v Speaker 1>It's the damn shame. Will we be doing the dogs nowadays?

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<v Speaker 3>All right, so we got I know you're not about

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<v Speaker 3>to play I'm not about to play a game.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess what race it is with the damn dog.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't look at me like that.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, no, no, I don't even know what race the

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<v Speaker 3>person is?

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<v Speaker 1>Are the dog? All right?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, all right, all right, well thank you for that

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<v Speaker 2>donkey today everybody on B E T will see you

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<v Speaker 2>guys tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 1>The credits are rolling on BET right now.

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<v Speaker 3>That's right, and BET if you're disgusted as I am,

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<v Speaker 3>you should be because humans are a silly, silly species.

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<v Speaker 1>But these are the people you trusted with CHAT, GPT

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<v Speaker 1>and AI.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, well, let's open up the phone lines. Let's

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<v Speaker 2>play a stupid game. Mhm eight hundred five eight five one.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to hear from you guys out there. What's

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<v Speaker 2>the craziest thing you blamed on your dog?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, this is a good one. This is a good one.

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<v Speaker 1>What is the craziest thing you've ever blamed on your dog?

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<v Speaker 2>I remember we had a producer here one time and

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<v Speaker 2>she didn't make it, but I just got to tell

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<v Speaker 2>a story. She couldn't make it to work because she

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<v Speaker 2>was locked in the bathroom by her cat. And she

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<v Speaker 2>said her cat hit the lock button on the on

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<v Speaker 2>the door knob and locked it in the bathroom.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, we love you. You know who you are.

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<v Speaker 2>Remember that same person, that same person said that when

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<v Speaker 2>the law didn't go along and along with that was

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<v Speaker 2>another time. Yes, so we're asking eight hundred five eight

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<v Speaker 2>five one oh five one. What's one thing that your

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<v Speaker 2>dog did that you you know you blamed your dog

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<v Speaker 2>on that.

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<v Speaker 3>You did that you blamed your dog on that's the question,

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<v Speaker 3>and you owe your dog in apology. Take this time

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<v Speaker 3>this morning to not only tell us what you lied

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<v Speaker 3>uh on your dog about, but also to apologize to

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<v Speaker 3>your dog for lying damn it.

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<v Speaker 2>Eight hundred and five eight five to one.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, let's have this conversation. Yes, long overdue. The

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<v Speaker 1>Breakfast Club.

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<v Speaker 3>Donkey today is brought to you by the law office

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<v Speaker 3>of Michael s Laminsoft. Don't be a donkey. Dot pound

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<v Speaker 3>two fifty on your cell and say the bull. If

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<v Speaker 3>you've been hurt in a construction accident, that's pound two

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<v Speaker 3>five oh, from your cell, and say the bull