WEBVTT - Relationship Goals 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:00.960 Speaks to the planning. 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:02.520 I go by the name of Charlamagne the God, and 0:00:02.520 --> 0:00:04.920 guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:08.319 third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming 0:00:08.360 --> 0:00:11.360 back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:15.000 Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions Man, 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:17.560 D B and Wheezy. Okay, we got the R and 0:00:17.640 --> 0:00:20.319 B Money podcast. We're taking Jay Valentine. We got the 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:22.880 Woman of All podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts, we got 0:00:22.920 --> 0:00:25.479 Good Mom, Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:28.440 her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast with 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:31.200 more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts. 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:34.120 We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses, 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:37.400 plus the food truck court to keep you fed while 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:39.839 you visit us. All right, listen, you don't want to 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:42.639 miss this. Tap in and grab your tickets now at 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:45.440 Black Effect dot Com Flash Podcast Festival. 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:48.800 Welcome to Can't Beleeve Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and 0:00:48.840 --> 0:01:02.520 The Black Effects, And just like that, we're back with 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:05.520 yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl Jess hilarious. 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:07.520 What I'll be doing. I'll be fixing mess y'all. 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:13.080 We don't have any goddamn voice notes, y'all I SENDI 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:14.959 me no goddamn voice notes, but y'all a sending me 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:17.640 these long as paragraphs. Yes, I am going to keep 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:20.880 complaining about it. You know why cause y'all don't care. Man, 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:24.880 y'all y'all can't fucking spell, and y'all be talking about 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:25.600 a bitch can't read. 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:29.640 Y'all can't spell the five. So that's why I be 0:01:29.680 --> 0:01:30.199 mad shit. 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:33.560 But anyway, we're gonna jump straight into it. I'm not 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:35.759 in the studio today, so I don't have Taylor here 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:38.640 to read with me or to help fix y'all mess. 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:40.319 But we just go and jump into it, and it's 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:42.039 gonna be me. Okay, here we go. 0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:43.280 Hey, Jess. 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:46.520 So I have a friend that is going through relationship problems. 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:49.760 She always confides in me because she knows I'm going 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:52.880 to be honest with her and actually listen, you know, 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:55.920 like a good friend is supposed to. Lately, things have 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:58.960 been getting worse for her. Don't really want to say 0:01:59.000 --> 0:02:01.840 too much, but it has. I have given her all 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:04.800 the advice I can, but she just runs back. It's 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:09.240 starting to get a little annoying because she would also 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:11.959 get me involved. Like Jess, last week, we slashed this 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:15.120 nigga tires, laughed my ass off, and by the next 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:19.320 night they was laid back up like nothing ever happened. 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:22.480 And then that following night she wanted to jump him 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:25.920 in his sleep, which wasn't a good idea laughing my 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:28.160 ass off and bitch, ain't none of this shit funny. 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:32.560 Continuing My point is, I'm just tired of telling her 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:35.200 the same thing and she goes right back to him. 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:37.840 So last night she called me to vent her usual 0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:41.560 and I told her before she even spoke, if we're 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:44.160 gonna talk about the nigga, you might as well hang up, 0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:47.840 because I honestly don't want to hear it. She straight 0:02:47.880 --> 0:02:51.000 ignored me and started to proceed with her conversation. I 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:54.040 got so irritated and said, your dumbass gonna go straight back, 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:56.680 so why does it matter? Yes, that was harsh, but 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:58.400 I'm fed up with it, Jess, and I don't take 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:01.600 your back either. We talk every morning on our way 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:04.320 to work or at least text, but girl shanet reach out, 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:05.720 not one time. 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:06.920 I get it. 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:09.600 She's probably upset and need some time because maybe she 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:12.040 wasn't expecting that out of me. I just want my 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:14.400 friend to wake up and realize she's worth so much 0:03:14.440 --> 0:03:15.960 more than this nigga. 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:18.080 Okay, so that's how it ended. 0:03:18.120 --> 0:03:21.200 So I'm guessing you just want advice on advice that 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:25.640 you can give to your friend to help her move on. Listen, 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:28.160 it ain't gonna happen. She not gonna get tired and 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:30.360 says she gets tired. You can get tired for somebody 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:34.760 as much as you want. The inevitable thing about it 0:03:34.800 --> 0:03:36.440 is your friend not gonna be ready to let this 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:38.200 man go until she's ready to let him go. No, 0:03:38.280 --> 0:03:40.120 I don't know who y'all are and everything, because I 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:43.720 take it depending I give y'all advice depending on y'all age. 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:46.360 Now this shit sound young. It sounds like y'all are 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:48.800 very young, and I totally get it. Let me say, 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:51.720 because I remember I was doing this type shit when 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:54.960 I first met Rome. That's the that's my baby ball, 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:57.320 but the first baby ball I had, I was doing 0:03:57.360 --> 0:04:00.000 this type of shit with my cousin London, running around 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:02.680 slashing her own tires, and well, roll ain't get a 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:06.000 call until later on. So when he did get a 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:09.240 call when he you know, wasn't traveling on his feet 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:12.600 after a few years. Yes, I bust his windows flat 0:04:12.680 --> 0:04:15.920 and hiss tires. I did all that, But I did 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:18.560 all that shit in my early twenties, you know what 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:21.120 I mean. Like I did a few things while I 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:23.200 was pregnant too, but I was nineteen. So you gotta 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:25.320 be young, like y'all got to be young and shit. 0:04:25.839 --> 0:04:29.280 And that's just the downside of it, right, because you 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:32.280 want your friend, you want your friend to notice she 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:37.359 that girl for sure, but if she not ready to 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:39.919 give up on dude, and she's just not ready now, 0:04:41.400 --> 0:04:43.280 I think you should talk to her, like show her 0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:45.599 her worth. You can't like come at her and say 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:48.720 shit like your dumb ass gonna go right back, you know. 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:50.760 And that's why she not talking to you. I get 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:51.200 it now. 0:04:51.800 --> 0:04:54.479 Lately, I've been on my shit where I've been, you know, 0:04:54.560 --> 0:04:56.799 making the women take accountability and everything. 0:04:56.920 --> 0:04:58.360 So you right on brand. 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:01.960 But listen, you can't help her go do this shit 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:05.960 and then try to tell her lead a nigga alone. 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:08.599 You was right there slashing the right tie and while 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:12.040 she was slashing the other tie on the other side. 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:14.599 You was right there over there jumping a nigga in 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:17.839 his sleep with her. You know, you know you down, 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:21.440 you there, you down the ride through whatever, through thick 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:24.200 and thin. That's your homegirl. Yes, but you can't be 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:28.240 the person that is indulging into the crime, because that's 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:30.359 what all it is. You just admitted a bunch of 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:32.680 crimes that you've committed with your friend to me, So 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:34.320 you can't be down to do all that shit and 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:35.799 then you be the same you want turn her around 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:38.520 trying to give her a fucking intervention or for intervention. 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:41.320 You know what I'm saying. The leader's nigga alone. 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:43.719 But I think what you should should do is instead 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:45.960 of coming at her, you got to meet her where 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:47.839 she at. You get what I'm saying, Like, you really 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:51.760 have to be honest and just level with her, you know, 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:54.520 speak life into her. Yeah, y'all are young, but you 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:56.559 can do that, you know, help her see her worth. 0:05:57.000 --> 0:05:58.919 Not by coming at her for fucking with the nigga, 0:05:58.960 --> 0:06:03.560 you know what I mean, but more so just complimenting her, 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:06.080 letting her know, girl, you are worth more than this shit. 0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:10.120 Like you can get any nigga you want, friend, like 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:12.919 take her out, let her show her a good girl's 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:16.080 night out or whatever. You know, look, send a ass 0:06:16.080 --> 0:06:18.760 hold on the blind date, you know, do a twenty 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:20.560 v one whatever. You know, the shit that y'all kids 0:06:20.600 --> 0:06:22.920 be doing, I'm just automatically assume that y'all youngest shit, 0:06:22.960 --> 0:06:27.240 because all of this behavior is youngest shit. It's very childish. Now, 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:29.360 there are some adults that do shit like this too, 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:33.640 but very seldom. It's very seldom that you would see 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:37.400 this come from a mature woman, like a person who 0:06:37.440 --> 0:06:39.719 knows her worth already, you know what I mean, a 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:43.839 female who knows her worth, but like, yeah, meet her 0:06:43.880 --> 0:06:47.360 where she is and give her the best advice by 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:48.600 showing her who she is. 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:51.600 You know what I mean? You know that that's saying that, oh, 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:53.680 my friend is exactly who she thinks she is. 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:56.400 Oh, you know what I'm saying, Hype her up like that, 0:06:56.520 --> 0:07:00.680 show bitch, and she needs to always remember that if 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:03.040 you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:06.200 we'll be right back show her ways like that. 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:10.560 Okay, that was pretty easy because I remember actually. 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:13.920 Going through shit like that, Like I remember doing that 0:07:14.200 --> 0:07:15.000 with my cousin. 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:18.720 Like we used to be the treacherous twins. 0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:22.120 All right, I'm talking about popping up on niggas at 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:26.200 these jobs. Come outside, come outside all that, right, rod shit, 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:27.760 this shit ain't cool. 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:29.240 It's a bunch of toxicity. 0:07:29.320 --> 0:07:32.000 She got to get that shit together before she gets older, 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.640 you know what I mean? Because a lot of women, 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:40.120 and it starts very young, think that's what love is like, 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:43.240 if y'all ain't fighting, or if y'all ain't arguing, if 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:45.400 you know, like a lot of that's that's a lot 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:48.320 of women's love language. Like they think that that's cool. 0:07:48.800 --> 0:07:54.920 It's toxic, and that's probably all that they've seen, you know, 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:59.000 whether that's growing up or whether that's just how they've 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:00.240 seen relationship. 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:05.440 You know. However, whatever that may be. Hell, no, love. 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:07.080 Don't supposed to go like that. You ain't supposed to 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:09.680 be busting on nig upside his head in his sleep. 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:12.560 That ain't cool or cute, goofy asses. 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:14.960 Please don't do that. I don't like that. 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:20.520 But I want to talk about this story that somebody 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:23.320 had called up to the breakfast club and asked me 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:26.560 to fix their mess about. So it was this woman 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:29.520 she had called up and she was saying that she's gay, 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:34.160 and she deals with two women right now. Neither one 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:36.000 of the girls know about each other. I'm gonna say girls, 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:37.560 because they were young. She did tell me that she 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:39.959 was twenty years old. She didn't tell me how old 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:42.000 the two girls were that she was talking to. But 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:44.520 she has two girls on a roster, right and they 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:49.120 don't know about each other. And now one of the 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:51.040 girls she likes more than the other, so she wants 0:08:51.480 --> 0:08:53.920 the girl. She likes one of them more than the other, 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:56.320 but she doesn't want to make that one her girlfriend 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:58.800 because she's not ready to be committed. She's only twenty. 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:01.240 She's testing the water, dating to see what she likes 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:03.800 and everything like that. However, she is, you know, lesbian. 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:07.640 But she had heard out, I mean, she had heard 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:09.679 from out in the streets that one of the girls 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:11.840 that she deal with, right, the main one that she 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:14.600 likes more than the other one, was out at like 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:17.320 a bar or a club or restaurant or something, and 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:22.760 she was, you know, there with another girl, and it 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:27.160 had gotten back to her that they were very touchy philly. 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:29.319 They was all up on each other and things like that. 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:31.880 And somebody that knew that this girl was talking to her, 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:34.640 they told her. They took a picture and sent the 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:37.559 picture to her and was like, damn, you know your 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:40.120 girl out here. You know this is your girl. So 0:09:40.280 --> 0:09:42.880 she was calling up to tell me, I mean to 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:46.360 ask me what she should do about it. Do I 0:09:46.400 --> 0:09:49.520 think that she should confront the girl about, you know, 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:54.840 being out in public with somebody, like she's not dating 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:58.800 her too, or she just not say anything. And my 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:02.280 advice to that was, let's just strip the age away 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:05.400 from it, right, Okay, you just told me that you 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:08.440 had two girls that you're talking to and you like 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:10.400 one more than the other. However, you don't want to 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:13.560 commit because that's something that that's just not something that 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:15.199 you see yourself doing right now. 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:16.600 That's not something that you're ready for. 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:19.840 But in the same breath you're telling me, are you 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:25.360 asking me rather advice on pulling up on your main girl, 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:28.959 you know, the one one of your girls, confronting her 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:31.679 about her being out with somebody else? 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:34.000 You got two of them. They don't even know about 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:35.280 each other, you know what I mean. 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:38.319 That's the pot calling the kettle black and the black 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:43.120 calling the well. You can't contradict yourself like that, Lady, shady, lady, 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:47.480 that's crazy. She was like, I mean, I just I 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:50.520 don't know, Jazz. I feel like I like her a lot, 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:53.520 and I do want her more than I want the 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:55.280 other one. I like both of them, but I just 0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:57.480 I love her like I love her more than I 0:10:57.679 --> 0:10:59.520 you know, I don't even love the other one. I 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:01.560 just like her, but I love this one. Yeah, but 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:03.160 you still don't. You don't love her enough to give 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:04.920 her a commitment. So how can you pull her up 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:07.520 about something that she's doing outside of you when you've 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:10.240 got somebody outside of her too. And the reason why 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:12.160 I say I'm a stripped age away from it, because 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:17.840 that's also what happens when you're older too. Like that 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:20.160 has no age, that has no age. 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:22.560 On it, you know what I mean? Like men play 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:23.240 games like that. 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:26.840 Women play games like that in their forties, in their fifties, 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:30.320 god damn thirties, twenties, it don't matter. Like I dated 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:34.320 a lot of different age groups, okay, And trust me, 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:36.640 just because you're older does not mean you are mature 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:38.560 and you got it all together because a lot of 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:40.320 older people still want to be young, and so they 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:42.440 still live in those days and he lives and they 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:45.559 live in those times. They get stuck. It's like pre dementia, 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:49.120 like nigga, No, like you, you getting stuck back there? 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:52.640 Grow the fuck up. I call them people, the stragglers, 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.640 them older guys and older women who don't want to 0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:59.959 be their fucking age and act accordingly to their age. 0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:03.720 That's just what I want to say about that. And then, look, 0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:06.560 I know y'all probably get mad at this. I don't care. 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:10.240 I said, you are twenty years old. You have a 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:15.320 lot more life to live. You're gonna meet the lady 0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:16.959 of your life, and it may even be the man. 0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:18.360 A man might steal your heart. 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:19.800 You don't know. You don't know. 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:23.440 You're only twenty years old. You may be just curious 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:26.800 right now. This gay lifestyle may be a phase for 0:12:26.880 --> 0:12:31.199 you. You may end up with a man with kids. I 0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:33.120 don't know if she was a stut or not, but 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:35.520 when I said the man party sounded like she got 0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:37.920 a little bit more feminine, you know, so she might 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:41.720 end up liking Dick later. Who knows, we're going back 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:43.400 to it out of next or what our history was, 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:44.600 you know what I mean? 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:46.720 Just too much. 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:51.320 But don't contradict yourselves, ladies. You know, and listen, mind 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:54.120 you if you want to be the only one. You 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:57.120 gotta treat people like you want to be fucking treated. 0:12:57.679 --> 0:13:01.040 I just saw something online where somebody had challenged that. 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:03.559 I don't know if it was doctor Cheyenne Brian, I 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:05.800 don't know. No, no, no, it wasn't doctor Brian. It 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:07.520 wasn't doctor Brian about to throw something on this lady. 0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:10.000 And she didn't even say it. It was something else, somebody else, 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:13.000 but somebody disagree with that. Treat people like you want 0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:15.840 to be treated, you know, do unto people like you 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:17.480 want to be done unto? You know what I'm saying, 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:20.520 like I and I'm a firm believer in that. How 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:23.760 the fuck I'm a cheat on you? Or I I'm 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:25.440 being honest with you, like all right, I don't want 0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:27.520 to commitment, so you're not the only person I talk 0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:30.640 to you. And mind you, she didn't even tell either 0:13:30.640 --> 0:13:32.360 one of her girls that they're not the only ones, 0:13:32.559 --> 0:13:35.040 like so they just thinking they're exclusively talking to this girl, 0:13:35.120 --> 0:13:36.600 like we're exclusively dating. 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:39.679 But no, you got two girls. How are you. 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:41.480 Going to lead like that but then get mad when 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:44.800 somebody else pulling you on you? Cause she was out 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:48.400 in public doing it, right, I guess that's that's what hurts. 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.560 But it still doesn't change the fact. 0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:51.880 Of the matter. 0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:55.520 Is you you like this girl, you say, you say 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:57.040 you love her, but you don't love her enough to 0:13:57.120 --> 0:14:01.079 be her girlfriend, to commit to her. That's some bullshit. 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:04.480 I don't really like that myself. So that's the advice 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:05.680 that I gave her, y'all. 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:07.080 Hold up, Hold up. 0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:09.040 I know this shit getting good, but listen to just 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:11.120 a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:11.720 you'll listen. 0:14:12.679 --> 0:14:12.959 Listen. 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.640 I just want to clear something up also, right, So 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:19.160 I did Club Shasha a couple weeks ago, right, And 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:24.320 now this is the thing, of course, blugs grab, you know, 0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:29.120 just video clips and not even any context around the 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:35.080 small clip that looks like it's meant to be one way, 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:39.600 you know, but it's interpreted so differently and so negatively, 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:43.080 because that's what blogs like to do for clickbait. Right, 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:46.440 So they're never going to grab the context around the 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:49.200 subject that they were talking about, you know, I mean 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:52.440 that they posted about, right, and they should do. 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:55.760 So I hate that. I used to love making the blogs. 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:58.040 I hate when I be I get butterflies in my 0:14:58.080 --> 0:15:00.000 stomach when somebody called me like yoh, you ain't say 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:03.560 they posted on Shape Room or on Spiritual Word, or 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:07.400 on Hollywood Unlocked or on the Neighborhood Talk or I'm like, no, 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:10.200 Nigad didn't, Oh my god didn't on site shout out 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:13.880 to Rashida Ali. Listen on site, they be getting the 0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:17.000 shit man, and I'd be like, no, please don't post 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:19.800 me on the motherfucking blogs. Should be crazy. That shit 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:22.200 is exhausting, especially when somebody to pick what you said 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:25.520 the wrong way because the blogs grab a few seconds. 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:26.400 So listen. 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:29.320 I sat down with Shannon Sharp and he was asking 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:32.960 me about marriage. The topic was marriage, right, and I said, 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:37.920 no marriage is perfect. I forget exactly how we got 0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:43.720 on Kirk and Rashida right is we were speaking about 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:50.240 marriage and how no marriage is perfect, and a lot 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:52.880 of people in the public I they like for their 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:55.840 marriage to seem perfect, you know what I mean, when 0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:58.160 in all reality, you don't have to do that. 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:01.440 You know what I'm saying, you don't have to do that. 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:02.840 It's okay. 0:16:02.880 --> 0:16:06.360 I think I think the people win staying more relatable 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:11.160 because don't nobody want to see a facade, you know 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:13.560 what I mean, Because that's just not reality. 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:14.720 That's not real. 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:17.680 You know what I'm saying. That's why I ain't gonna lie. 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:20.840 I love and respect, love and hip hop, Atlanta. The 0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:24.960 marriages on there that have lasted through the test of 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:29.600 time now look in no way, shape or form what 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:33.520 I want my husband to cheat on me and make 0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:34.080 a baby. 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:34.960 You know what I'm saying. 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:38.880 In no way, shape or form would I be Okay, 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:40.560 I don't even think I would be able to get 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:45.200 past Chris having a baby on me. I would not 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:48.000 be able to just fathom even what the fuck that 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:51.840 looks like, you know what I mean. No, But and 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:55.360 I didn't say Kirk and Rashida have the perfect marriage, 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:57.760 which Hollywood unlock quote it wrong. 0:16:57.880 --> 0:16:58.880 I did not say that. 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:02.040 I said they put it in their caption that many 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:04.520 headlines that I said, that's the perfect marriage. 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:04.720 To me. 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:08.760 No, I said, that's the perfect example of a marriage 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:13.240 that has stood and went. They went through everything and 0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:16.840 they still are standing till this day. That's the perfect 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:20.840 example of how strong a marriage can be when they 0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:23.879 have to endure shit coming from here. 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:25.840 There. They're they're, they're they're like. 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:31.040 Yo, even before Kirk had a baby, you know what 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:33.800 I'm saying, which was not something that like he purposely did. 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:36.320 I'm not making excuses for this man, No I'm not. 0:17:37.160 --> 0:17:38.200 I'm just saying. 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:44.520 It's marriages that made it through worse than that. And 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:46.520 I know you say it don't get no worse than 0:17:46.520 --> 0:17:50.439 having another baby. Oh yes, the fuck it does. I 0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:55.080 know women who've husbands have come out to them, okay, 0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:59.159 but they were saying that they were battling something. And 0:17:59.240 --> 0:18:03.399 I know why who have stayed and helped you know 0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:07.320 them through their healing process. It was a couple of 0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:09.960 seasons ago a woman had wrote me, right, and she said, 0:18:11.880 --> 0:18:15.000 I've been married for umpteen years. I don't even know, 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.480 you know, the umpteen is just, you know, it's a 0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:21.439 lot of years, a lot of years. And she was like, 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:24.359 I was wondering why my husband don't look at me 0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:29.679 the same? Why why they you know, why he you know, 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:32.280 I don't feel like he's attracted to me. Doesn't compliment 0:18:32.359 --> 0:18:34.720 me much anymore. He doesn't take me out. When he 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:37.640 kisses me, it's no tongue. He just pecks me. Now, 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:42.440 it's like I'm growing to be unattractive in my husband's eyes. Right, 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:44.359 And she said, so, I just went through his phone, 0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:47.760 didn't find anything. I went through his email, and I 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:53.399 found out that he was seeing men, you know. But 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:55.560 she said she dug a little deeper, and she also 0:18:55.640 --> 0:19:00.320 found out that he was seeing a therapist for this, right, 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:02.080 and he didn't know how to come to his wife, 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:04.720 so she approached him. And she was a very calm woman, 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:06.200 by the way, because she didn't say she went off. 0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:09.160 She didn't say she Janey Jackson, this nigga, remember, oh, 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:11.520 you're doing depending how you marry a woman. Didn't turn 0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:13.399 a run to be gay, like. She ain't say she 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:16.320 did that, you know, she said that the fact that 0:19:16.400 --> 0:19:18.080 she she. 0:19:18.080 --> 0:19:18.920 Was going to do it, though. 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:20.840 Believe that because I remember her telling me like, oh, 0:19:20.880 --> 0:19:22.680 I was about to go off until I dug a 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:25.800 little deeper and I saw that he was actually seeking 0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:28.080 some type of counsel for this, like he was actually 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:29.280 going to therapy for this. 0:19:29.840 --> 0:19:34.119 And she ended up staying with her husband. Long story short, like, 0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:35.720