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Speaker 1: Pushkin. Hi. I'm Phil Donahue and I'm Marlowe Thomas, and

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Speaker 1: we're going on a series of double dates to find

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Speaker 1: out what makes a marriage last. Our date in Los

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Speaker 1: Angeles with Ray and Anna Romano involved a little more

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Speaker 1: staging than we were used to. That asked us to

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Speaker 1: meet at a hotel near their home. So we got

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Speaker 1: there a few hours early, and rather than sit in

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Speaker 1: a noisy lobby, we booked a room, ordered room service,

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Speaker 1: and then proceeded to rearrange all the furniture until the

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Speaker 1: setting was just right. Once they arrived, we all rated

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Speaker 1: the mini bar and everyone ate M and M's while

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Speaker 1: Marlowe struggled with the recording equipment. That has to I

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Speaker 1: can't believe you're doing it at all. Yeah, those are.

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Speaker 1: But then when you press this button, does it like?

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Speaker 1: Because it's something supposed to like, but I don't think.

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Speaker 1: Let's see here, but you sorted it out like a chance, Yes,

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Speaker 1: you had you had it upside down. Okay, well that's funny,

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Speaker 1: that's kind of my personality. We finally settled down to talk. Well,

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Speaker 1: first of all, you guys met how we worked together

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Speaker 1: at a bank bank. We were bank tellers, we were

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Speaker 1: really young, and I was bank teller. Oh, I think

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Speaker 1: I started there when I was eighteen. He wasn't there yet.

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Speaker 1: I started working there when I was twenty five. I

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Speaker 1: lived at home till I was twenty nine. Wow. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I drove my bike to work. I was pretty

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Speaker 1: much like not the new stud guy working at the bank.

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Speaker 1: Yeah when ye, when he started there, there was a

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Speaker 1: bunch of young girls. We all worked there, and we're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: there's a young guy starting here, yeah, you know or whatever. Um,

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Speaker 1: and then he strolled it on a bike. I was

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Speaker 1: just at late by the way, always ten. I should

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Speaker 1: back then. It wasn't going to change about two years.

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Speaker 1: And I left after two years, right, And then I

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Speaker 1: asked her out after I had left the bank. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's why I wasn't working anywhere. But little footnote she

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Speaker 1: was the third girl I asked out at the bank.

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Speaker 1: The first two said no, trust you get well, why

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Speaker 1: did you live at home? Was that like an Italian thing?

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Speaker 1: It was part that, But I think everyone in our

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Speaker 1: neighborhood stayed home till they were married, most most of them,

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Speaker 1: I would a lot of my buddies didn't move out

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Speaker 1: until they got married. I just happened to get married later.

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Speaker 1: But also I was kind of nowhere in my career

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Speaker 1: or what I wanted to do. I had dropped out

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Speaker 1: of college and I was kind of in nowhere land

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Speaker 1: until he met me. It all came together, and when

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Speaker 1: I met her was the same time I also started

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Speaker 1: doing stand up comedy. I always tell her she took

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Speaker 1: a gamble because she went out with a guy who

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Speaker 1: lived at home and rode a bike to work, and

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Speaker 1: now she has her own movie theater. Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: will you deserve it? Yeah? Thank you, believe me. Well,

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Speaker 1: what was it about him? I mean, did I want

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Speaker 1: with a guy? Yeah? You know, honestly, I think it

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Speaker 1: just grew from a friendship into a relationship. So I

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Speaker 1: think we were friend he became friends, and he was

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Speaker 1: funny and he was kind and sweet. He really was

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Speaker 1: an easy personality. You know. We didn't have any expectations

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Speaker 1: when we were dating. It wasn't like and we just

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Speaker 1: kind of did it. It was like what Rocky says,

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Speaker 1: and U what's the home side of Rocky? It fills gaps.

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Speaker 1: He was, I got gaps, She got gaps. Together, we

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Speaker 1: filled gaps. I think that's true with us. We filled gaps. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and so you didn't. So he looked like he was

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Speaker 1: going nowhere, so you could be Yeah, I didn't. I

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Speaker 1: didn't care. I guess it didn't matter. I didn't have

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Speaker 1: but to be. But to tell you the truth, I've

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Speaker 1: always said this, she would be happy if I was

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Speaker 1: a plumber, if a plumber made the same amount of money. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: you weren't looking to fix things up at the time.

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Speaker 1: I was like twenty seven. I guess I was about

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Speaker 1: a year and a half, two years into my stand up,

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Speaker 1: so it's still very early, still very early. I'm still

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Speaker 1: I'm still not making a living. I'm doing it at

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Speaker 1: night and I'm working with my friend who owns a

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Speaker 1: futime mattress company during the day. I never had the

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Speaker 1: idea this is going to be my career stand up

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Speaker 1: when we started dating, I just love to do it,

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Speaker 1: and I just kept doing it. You musn't trusted something

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Speaker 1: about him, right, He It was funny and he was

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Speaker 1: just kind. You know, he's just a good person. I

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Speaker 1: haven't heard the words yet. Did you did it take

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Speaker 1: you when you started dating to get married? Two years? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Two years? Yeah, But I think we were both ready

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Speaker 1: to be married. I remember one time. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what the reason was, but I got jealous somehow. It

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Speaker 1: was the first time I felt like this, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I just felt like it kind of crossed over,

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Speaker 1: you know, for me. But I think we just both

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Speaker 1: had the same goals without really even talking about it.

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Speaker 1: You know, we both wanted kids and family, and that's

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Speaker 1: what we really wanted, so everything else was a bonus.

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Speaker 1: You know. It wasn't like a It just evolved. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't a shocking me proposing in her. No, No, it

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Speaker 1: just was a slow realization that that we both agree

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Speaker 1: we want to get married. So having lived with your

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Speaker 1: mom and dad all that time and he moved in

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Speaker 1: for the first time for yeah, I used to do

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Speaker 1: stories about that in might stand up. These are jokes,

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Speaker 1: but but these were true. Like day one when you

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Speaker 1: move in with someone is a crucial day because you

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Speaker 1: know there's decisions to be made on day one that

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Speaker 1: you don't think are important when you're living on your own,

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Speaker 1: like what side of the bed do you get? And

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Speaker 1: I thought that was trivial, and then I realized that's

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Speaker 1: your side for life right there, And I blew the call.

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Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't look at the TV. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think we were also brought up the same way

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Speaker 1: where his mom did you know, took care of the

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Speaker 1: man in the mouse. My mother very italian Us, But

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Speaker 1: I didn't do a lottle. First little launcher I ever

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Speaker 1: did was was when I got the TV show. I

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Speaker 1: had to come out of here by myself, and I

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Speaker 1: remember having to call you and say where do I

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Speaker 1: put the thing and whatever? Yeah. Yeah, so I think

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Speaker 1: we had a lot of the same background, so we

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Speaker 1: kind of just fell into our roles, which I wish

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Speaker 1: we didn't fall into those roles because I do everything.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, it wasn't like all of a sudden living

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Speaker 1: on my own. It was like I was still being

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Speaker 1: taken care of. That's the thing that you know, the

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Speaker 1: fact that you're both Italian and my mom was Sicilian.

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Speaker 1: My father's lemonade and there was a lot of screaming

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Speaker 1: in our house. Yeah. Bill always said in his house,

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Speaker 1: everything was very quiet, you know. Yea, his parents didn't fight.

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Speaker 1: I was a great shock to him because I'm because

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Speaker 1: you're a fighter and gonna hear it right away and

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Speaker 1: I'm through with it in three minutes. He on the

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Speaker 1: other hand. Yeah, I think that's it too. We get

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Speaker 1: mad and then it's over. You know we're done. Well,

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Speaker 1: how do you fight? Do you fight the same way?

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Speaker 1: We fight the same way? She yells at me normally

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Speaker 1: when we have a disagreement, I get loud, you getting

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Speaker 1: loud to me. I don't return it because I know

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Speaker 1: I'm always the one in trouble, so for me to

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Speaker 1: flip it on you, like, I don't think I have

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Speaker 1: the right, I'm glad I'm always the one. I think

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Speaker 1: she's also very good at um. Like I'm quick tempered

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Speaker 1: and I'll get mad and I don't think things through

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Speaker 1: and he'll be like, okay, all right, all right, calm

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Speaker 1: down for a second. You're the one that comes and

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Speaker 1: makes about Do you ever apologize after you've started that

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Speaker 1: or No, he's a one that you don't apologize to

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Speaker 1: each other a couple of times. I mean, it has

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Speaker 1: to be a big fight if it's stupid little fights. No,

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Speaker 1: we don't really apologize. We just get over it and that.

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Speaker 1: But even like not to go back to my act,

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Speaker 1: but it's all about a guy is always trying to

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Speaker 1: score points with his wife. And what I've what I've

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Speaker 1: realized is this game where we're trying to score points.

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Speaker 1: We're always behind. We're always behind. You never feel you

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Speaker 1: have to score points with me. I always I guess

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Speaker 1: I don't do anything wrong. No, no, it's not that

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Speaker 1: you don't do anything wrong. It's not. It's that you

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Speaker 1: do so much more good. You know where I feel like,

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Speaker 1: if I see the guy selling the flower on the corner,

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Speaker 1: you know, let me get it and bring it home

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Speaker 1: because it'll score some points. Where she doesn't feel that

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Speaker 1: she's a she's a head and points. Well, I think

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Speaker 1: that's true. Well, listen when I was doing my show

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Speaker 1: and all that, she's the one home with the four kids,

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Speaker 1: and she's the one and I'm the one going on

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Speaker 1: the road and going to wherever to film and going here.

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Speaker 1: Of course she's ahead and points. You know, she's the

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Speaker 1: one holding the fort down and I'm paying for the fort.

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Speaker 1: But thank god, that will. So trust is a big thing.

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Speaker 1: So trust was up a thing you guys had to

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Speaker 1: work on. You had that, Yeah, we had that. I

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Speaker 1: think for us it was he became the Hollywood star

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Speaker 1: and I really was like the stay at home mom

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Speaker 1: and I didn't have a career. I didn't have I

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Speaker 1: was not in this business. So I stayed in Queens

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Speaker 1: for the first season and he moved out. So he

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Speaker 1: was living with his single friend who was always looking

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Speaker 1: for girls, and I told him to every Raymond, I

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Speaker 1: stayed in Queens with my three kids. I didn't we

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Speaker 1: only had three. Him he living with this friend of his.

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Speaker 1: I told the friend, I go, you're not allowed to

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Speaker 1: bring girls up there. I don't care. I don't care.

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Speaker 1: We're paying for the apartment. You're not having girlfriends up there,

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Speaker 1: you know, because you know, now here's a new celebrity.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what it's like. You girls, you know,

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Speaker 1: are looking for the next best thing. And I just

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Speaker 1: I didn't want. Of course, I don't want. I have

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Speaker 1: three little kids, you know. I I think he was

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Speaker 1: a lawyer, was very loyal, but still it doesn't even

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Speaker 1: matter that you're loyal. I worry about the other women,

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Speaker 1: the women, because they may force you to see So anyway,

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Speaker 1: there was a little bit of that, and maybe I

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Speaker 1: was a little like worried, but not I really I

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Speaker 1: trusted him. I really trusted phil la Ren asked my

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Speaker 1: husband out to lunch and I said, I don't think so,

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Speaker 1: I really do under the purpose. Well, the women in

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Speaker 1: my office would claim that if a female cast came

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Speaker 1: on to me, I didn't know what was happening. That

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Speaker 1: was good, that was a good thing. But he had

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Speaker 1: his show. Right the day after the show, she invited

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Speaker 1: him to lunch. He called me. I was in New York,

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Speaker 1: he was in Chicago. I was working and he was

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Speaker 1: working and he said to me, you know, Sophia Laurent

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Speaker 1: called me inviting me to lunch. What do you think.

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Speaker 1: I said, Well, if she had invited you to lunch

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Speaker 1: before she did the show, I'd understand that because that

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Speaker 1: means she wants to know. What if she invites you

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Speaker 1: to lunch after the show? Yeah, he said, yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: what I thought. I get more. The funny thing is

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Speaker 1: I get more jealous than she does. And I'm the

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Speaker 1: one in the scenes with the women here. They're not

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Speaker 1: a lot, but it's on occasion. Yeah. And I had

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Speaker 1: to do it with the show Vinyl that I did

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Speaker 1: about rock and roll in the seventies. It was on HBO.

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Speaker 1: It was like two two years ago, and I had

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Speaker 1: to do a scene with the threesome. So too young?

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Speaker 1: Are you're going to tell that part that the young girls,

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Speaker 1: young naked girls. Yeah, it was HBO, it was Mick

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Speaker 1: Jagger was producing it. It was it was on for

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Speaker 1: one season. It was about rock and roll in the seventies.

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Speaker 1: So I play a music producer or whatever, after which

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Speaker 1: she goes, all right, well, what was it like? Tell

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Speaker 1: me what the scene was like. I asked a lot

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Speaker 1: of details. I needed to hear the details. I told him.

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Speaker 1: I said, it's it's it's horrible. There's a guy there

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Speaker 1: and there's a boom mic there, and you know, we're

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Speaker 1: wearing protective stuff and she's sitting uh here whatever. I

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Speaker 1: was like, where's she sitting here? It's so anyway, So

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Speaker 1: that ends, and then she was in. It was in

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Speaker 1: New York. We filmed it, and then she had to

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Speaker 1: fly back to LA and I called her after the

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Speaker 1: plane lands and I go, how was your friend? She

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Speaker 1: said it was good. I sat next to this actor,

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Speaker 1: this young Latino actor, and he wanted me. He found

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Speaker 1: out I was your husband, and he gave me his card.

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Speaker 1: So right away, now I'm the jail. I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: do you mean he gave you his card? Question? She's like,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean he gave me his card? Because

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Speaker 1: he knows. I'm He goes, but why would he give

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Speaker 1: his card? I go and I kept going, and she's

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Speaker 1: getting annoyed. I go, what was his name? What was

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Speaker 1: his name? And she stops me and she goes, what

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Speaker 1: was the name of a girl that sat on your

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Speaker 1: coricks them up? Oh god? I did this movie with

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Speaker 1: Christmas Stofferson and we're in bed, you know, kissing and

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Speaker 1: whatever and whens and the scene was literally four minutes long.

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Speaker 1: And when the movie was over, he said, head is

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Speaker 1: the longest fucking love scene I've ever seen in my life.

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Speaker 1: We'll have more. After a quick break, we're back to

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Speaker 1: our conversation with Ray and Anna Romano. They've been together

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Speaker 1: for more than thirty years, not an easy thing to

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Speaker 1: do in Hollywood. So Marlowe asked, what's the glue that

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Speaker 1: keeps them together? It's that we're compatible. She's this person

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Speaker 1: on this person. I'm this person who performs, and part

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Speaker 1: of me needs attention and this and that that doesn't

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Speaker 1: threaten her and she doesn't feel neglected by that, you know,

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Speaker 1: and especially in this business, the pieces have to fit

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Speaker 1: that way. I feel like he needs that attention from

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Speaker 1: other people. All I want is the attention from my family.

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Speaker 1: I don't really need it from it and me, and

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Speaker 1: she doesn't even get it from me as much as

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Speaker 1: I should not yet she you Catholic Italian. Yeah, the

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Speaker 1: father and all that. You know, my father was very undemonstrative,

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Speaker 1: and it was just hard to show anything like that.

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Speaker 1: But you know what, I don't even think it's only

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Speaker 1: that because I notice. I think it's genetic. I think

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Speaker 1: it's something you're born with me. Maybe my father never

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Speaker 1: said he loved me to me. Never, So I go

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Speaker 1: out of my way to make sure my kids don't

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Speaker 1: feel that. But even when I do, it doesn't roll

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Speaker 1: off the tongue. It doesn't come natural. Yes, but I

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Speaker 1: do it, but so I feel self conscious doing it.

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Speaker 1: So they pick up on that a little bit. You know. Well,

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Speaker 1: my kids are now, they now say I love you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was hard, hard, Yeah. Yeah. Was it hard for

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Speaker 1: you though to tell them? Yeah? Yeah, it's weird of

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Speaker 1: just some people. Yeah. The first time you told me

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Speaker 1: he loved me, we were in Chicago, near his home.

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Speaker 1: We were taking a walk and he said to me, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to play a card here for it, play

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Speaker 1: a card here, I said, yeah, he said, I love you,

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Speaker 1: I said, that's a card. He's trying to see if

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Speaker 1: you're trying to see if I can get it out,

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Speaker 1: because his parents never said I can come natural. My

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Speaker 1: parents said I love you all the time. We cried.

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Speaker 1: My father cried all the time for everybody, very right, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was completely different kind of Well, how about the

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Speaker 1: first time we kissed. Yeah, so the first time we kissed,

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Speaker 1: he drove me home to my mom's house and we

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Speaker 1: made out in the car. So we were done, and

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Speaker 1: I don't know what, you know, I don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do next week. So I look at him and

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Speaker 1: he literally is not looking at me. He can't even

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Speaker 1: look at me. He's looking straight straight ahead, and I'm like, um, okay,

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Speaker 1: so I'll see you tomorrow. I don't know you'll call me.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It was so awkward. Ye afterwards was awkward,

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Speaker 1: but during it was fine. You know, So, what have

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Speaker 1: you learned from being married this long that you would

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Speaker 1: pass on? Well? I think you shouldn't decide until you

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Speaker 1: know the person totally, you know. I think by the

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Speaker 1: time we decided, you knew who I was and I

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Speaker 1: knew who you were. But we were together two years,

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Speaker 1: where some people date ten years, they get married and

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Speaker 1: then get supporting. And I never understood showing that, you know,

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Speaker 1: so what's the big surprise. Yeah, I don't know. What

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Speaker 1: about stress? Who handles it better? We stress over different things.

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Speaker 1: That's the problem. Why I'm worse is because I stress

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Speaker 1: over things that you really shouldn't. You know, I'm neurotic.

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Speaker 1: I'm the neurotic one. I'll stress over you know, what's

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Speaker 1: this bump, what's this thing that guy he hates me,

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Speaker 1: you know, stuff like that. But constantly all day there's

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Speaker 1: something you know I am. I'm neurotic. I'm I'm a hypochondriact.

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Speaker 1: I'm a pessimist, and I obsess over things where she

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Speaker 1: stresses over things like yeah, I stress over like real things,

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Speaker 1: and that's when I am the rational one. I stress

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Speaker 1: over the kids, you know, if they're not working, they're

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Speaker 1: not going to school, or it's just the real life

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Speaker 1: things where he's just obsessed over a little Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 1: there's a there's a great saying that a good marriage

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Speaker 1: people don't go crazy at the same time. We go

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Speaker 1: crazy at the same time. So when he panics, I panic,

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Speaker 1: and when I panic, key panics and I've been trying

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Speaker 1: to really work on that, which is when he panics,

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Speaker 1: I really try very hard not to and he tries

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Speaker 1: not think we do that. I think we do that

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Speaker 1: pretty good. Interviewing other people about marriage is really interesting

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Speaker 1: because every time we do, we get in the car

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Speaker 1: and say, well, do we do that? Do you do?

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Speaker 1: You know? One of the things we were thinking through

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Speaker 1: is about what we really get from the other that

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Speaker 1: we just can't get anyplace else, and not love and

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Speaker 1: sex and those things, but other emotional things. And I'm

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Speaker 1: a very self reliant person. I'm very resourceful and tough

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Speaker 1: and all that. But when I get blue or down,

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Speaker 1: only one person can make it better, and that's Phil.

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Speaker 1: He will talk me out of where I put myself.

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Speaker 1: And one of those people who always feels I said

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Speaker 1: the wrong thing somewhere and did you see that person's face?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I really, why did I say that then?

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Speaker 1: Because are you kidding? You're the most interesting person at

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Speaker 1: the party. Are you crazy? You know? He'll just bring

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Speaker 1: me all the way from zero up. So I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to figure out how that If there's that in U guys,

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Speaker 1: I think, well, I get what I get from her

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Speaker 1: is the truth. You know, in this business where everyone

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Speaker 1: either is phony or kissing her ass. You know, I

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Speaker 1: know that's not going to happen with her. She's just

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Speaker 1: gonna tell me the truth and not be mean about it.

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Speaker 1: But it's exactly what I want. You know, you can

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Speaker 1: count on it. Yes, perfect example. And when Everybody Loves

348
00:20:46,276 --> 00:20:50,196
Speaker 1: Raymond premiered, I was in LA and she was home

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Speaker 1: with the kids, and so to celebrate, we were going

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Speaker 1: to go to Vegas, me and Kevin James, my buddy.

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Speaker 1: And when I told her We're going to Vegas, she was, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're going to Vegas. I'm meantime, I'm home with the kids.

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Speaker 1: I go, but my show premiered, and I was kind

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Speaker 1: of being mockingly cocky, you know, I was saying, do

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Speaker 1: you understand what is happening right now? I'm being broadcast

356
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Speaker 1: in front of the whole United States? Okay, thirty million

357
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:17,036
Speaker 1: people are going to see me tonight. You know, I'm

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Speaker 1: just trying to be annoying whatever. I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: a star tomorrow, And to which she said, You're still

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Speaker 1: the dick I married. That was so wonderful. We had

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Speaker 1: such a great time with ray and Anna. After we

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Speaker 1: wrapped up. We realized we had completely forgotten to ask

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Speaker 1: about one very important experience that they had gone through together.

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Speaker 1: Days later, we called them on the phone to hear

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Speaker 1: the story. So, were you alone when you got the news, Anna,

366
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Speaker 1: or were you was rayed with you with the doctor?

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Speaker 1: How did it happen? Well, the kind of caused this

368
00:21:59,436 --> 00:22:02,436
Speaker 1: found a lump, So we did a mammogram and they

369
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Speaker 1: found something. I picked up the phone. You were crying

370
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Speaker 1: and I thought immediately thought it was my father because

371
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Speaker 1: my father was was close to to leaving our Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then you told me that ye yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I got I was very upset. And then you went

374
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Speaker 1: for the biopsy. Yeah. We had to wait a whole

375
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Speaker 1: weekend to get the results. And then when we got

376
00:22:26,796 --> 00:22:29,836
Speaker 1: the results, it was like Monday morning. At night, Monday morning,

377
00:22:29,876 --> 00:22:32,276
Speaker 1: we were together because we were waiting for him for

378
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Speaker 1: them to call. You know, yeah, we called from the bathroom.

379
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Speaker 1: I remember, we were in the bathroom. You know, it's

380
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Speaker 1: very nerve, you're nervous. All weekend. We were hosting a

381
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Speaker 1: Super Bowl party. That weekend. We had fifteen fifty at

382
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Speaker 1: least people over our house and we just had to

383
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Speaker 1: you know, uh, through it. That's sure. That was very scary, Yeah,

384
00:22:52,596 --> 00:22:55,156
Speaker 1: very very But we were first trying to say, look,

385
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Speaker 1: let's not let's not think it's anything until we know

386
00:22:58,996 --> 00:23:01,436
Speaker 1: it's something. You know that. I think it was like

387
00:23:01,596 --> 00:23:04,316
Speaker 1: nine am on a Monday they called us. You know,

388
00:23:04,596 --> 00:23:09,836
Speaker 1: first we kind of got emotional and um, but then

389
00:23:09,836 --> 00:23:12,756
Speaker 1: we immediately wanted to didn't want to waste any time,

390
00:23:12,956 --> 00:23:15,716
Speaker 1: you know. I remember I had to call my manager

391
00:23:15,796 --> 00:23:18,756
Speaker 1: and cancel. It kind of hit me then when I

392
00:23:18,756 --> 00:23:21,676
Speaker 1: had to tell him why, Um, I was in my member,

393
00:23:21,716 --> 00:23:23,196
Speaker 1: I was in the closet, and I got a little.

394
00:23:23,556 --> 00:23:26,676
Speaker 1: I got a little. It overtook me a little bit.

395
00:23:27,076 --> 00:23:29,356
Speaker 1: So at that moment when you got the phone call,

396
00:23:29,996 --> 00:23:34,316
Speaker 1: they said, um, so it is breast cancer. And of course,

397
00:23:34,636 --> 00:23:37,836
Speaker 1: you know whatever, I'm going to get emotional. I know,

398
00:23:39,076 --> 00:23:42,036
Speaker 1: wouldn't I'm getting emotional listening to it. I don't know.

399
00:23:42,076 --> 00:23:45,996
Speaker 1: I think when you get the news just well, I

400
00:23:46,076 --> 00:23:49,436
Speaker 1: think I was all weekend just trying to convince myself,

401
00:23:49,796 --> 00:23:51,756
Speaker 1: well it's not it's not going to be that. You know.

402
00:23:51,916 --> 00:23:55,516
Speaker 1: I hadn't mind you. Ray is such a hypochondriac. He's

403
00:23:55,556 --> 00:23:57,756
Speaker 1: always like, I think I have stomach cancer. I think

404
00:23:57,796 --> 00:24:01,356
Speaker 1: I have this cancer. It's funny, because it's not funny.

405
00:24:01,356 --> 00:24:03,316
Speaker 1: But I did say to him, I go, you're the

406
00:24:03,396 --> 00:24:06,276
Speaker 1: one who always thinks who have cancer. I never do,

407
00:24:06,436 --> 00:24:08,916
Speaker 1: and I'm the one who gets it, you know. But

408
00:24:09,396 --> 00:24:11,316
Speaker 1: I'm glad it was me and my youth because at

409
00:24:11,356 --> 00:24:14,756
Speaker 1: least I guess I'm stronger maybe in that, I don't know.

410
00:24:15,396 --> 00:24:19,156
Speaker 1: It was a very emotional period because the also the

411
00:24:19,236 --> 00:24:21,916
Speaker 1: day you had your surgery was the day my father

412
00:24:22,036 --> 00:24:25,956
Speaker 1: passed away. And I remember, Yeah, we were driving to

413
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Speaker 1: the hospital, you know, at like I don't know, six am,

414
00:24:29,196 --> 00:24:32,516
Speaker 1: and my mother in law called us to day they

415
00:24:32,556 --> 00:24:34,996
Speaker 1: think today is going to be the day that he passes.

416
00:24:35,316 --> 00:24:38,796
Speaker 1: I don't know. And while you were getting prepped, my

417
00:24:38,876 --> 00:24:40,556
Speaker 1: mother called me and told me he passed away. And

418
00:24:40,556 --> 00:24:43,196
Speaker 1: then and then I saw you before you went in,

419
00:24:43,276 --> 00:24:45,636
Speaker 1: but I didn't tell you. He said, how'd you father?

420
00:24:45,796 --> 00:24:47,956
Speaker 1: But I didn't want to tell you then. But then

421
00:24:47,996 --> 00:24:52,316
Speaker 1: we kind of, you know, we made like a connection

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Speaker 1: and a feeling that my father kind of went to

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Speaker 1: a place where he could look over you. Yeah. Now

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Speaker 1: I'm getting emotional and make sure that everything goes well

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Speaker 1: for you. You know, it's a lovely thought. Wow, I

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Speaker 1: learned how strong she is, you know, and and I

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Speaker 1: learned you know, I'm not the most tremonstous demonstrative man.

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Speaker 1: Um Anna knows this about me. Yeah, but yeah, when

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Speaker 1: something like this happens and you face the fact that

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Speaker 1: you may lose someone like this, it's kind of uh,

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Speaker 1: it shines a light on how much you love this person,

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Speaker 1: and U and I should say it. I should. Yes.

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Speaker 1: The reason this marriage works is because thankfully, um she

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Speaker 1: knows I love her. And you know, some women who

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Speaker 1: have to hear it out loud, it's not gonna go.

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Speaker 1: It's not gonna go that well when you're married to

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Speaker 1: a guy like me, you know. Well, it's pretty clear

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Speaker 1: how well it is going between Ray and Anna Romano.

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Speaker 1: And it was such fun hanging out with them. It

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Speaker 1: sure was. Until next time. I'm Phil Donahue and I'm

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Speaker 1: Marlo Thomas. Did you start telling her you loved then?

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Speaker 1: Now a couple more times? Double Day is a production

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Speaker 1: of Pushkin Industries. The show was created by US and

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00:26:31,796 --> 00:26:36,996
Speaker 1: produced by Sarah Lilly. Michael Bahari is associate producer. Musical

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00:26:37,036 --> 00:26:41,196
Speaker 1: adaptations of It Had to Be You by Cellwagon, Simfinette,

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00:26:41,716 --> 00:26:46,036
Speaker 1: Marlo and I are executive producers, along with Mia Lobell

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00:26:46,276 --> 00:26:51,836
Speaker 1: and Letal Molad from Pushkin. Special thanks to Jacob Wiseberg,

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00:26:52,156 --> 00:26:58,476
Speaker 1: Malcolm Gladwell, Heather Faine, John Snars, Carly Migliori, Eric Sandler,

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00:26:58,796 --> 00:27:05,276
Speaker 1: Emily Rostek, Jason Gambrel, Paul Williams, and Bruce Klucker. If

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00:27:05,276 --> 00:27:09,676
Speaker 1: you like our show, please remember to share, rate, and review.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.