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Speaker 1: And hey, you know, uh, if you haven't gotten you

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Speaker 1: scrubbing in merch yet, I do want to mention you

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Speaker 1: can still get it. That's at my fan threads dot

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Speaker 1: com slash scrubbing in. As want to make sure I

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Speaker 1: got that link right, my fan threads dot com slash

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Speaker 1: scrubbing in. There's gonna be a a link in the episode

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Speaker 1: description and a portion of all the merch sold is

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Speaker 1: going to go to help l U s D and

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Speaker 1: those in need. It's a great deal. Yeah, our merch

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Speaker 1: is off the chain, and everybody it's off the chart.

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Speaker 1: Everybody's and cozies right now can't really wear yeah, and

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Speaker 1: it's being donated to people in needs. So if you're

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Speaker 1: looking to get scrubbing in merch, now is the time.

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Speaker 1: The crop pink sweater with the scrubbing in down the

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Speaker 1: sleeve is so soft and it's like not too thick,

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Speaker 1: not too thin. It's truly the perfect sweatshirt if I

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Speaker 1: do say so myself. Um so go and check that out.

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Speaker 1: That's my fan threads dot com slash scrubbing in and

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Speaker 1: you will look so cute and cozy scrubbing in with

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Speaker 1: Beca Tilly and Tanya Brad and I Heart Radio and

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Speaker 1: two time People's Choice Award winning podcast Hello Everybody, It's

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Speaker 1: my day. It's Monday. Literally could have fooled me. See

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Speaker 1: Hi Euston, Hi, everybody is Monday. It's so funny because

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Speaker 1: I will say every day feels the same except for Monday.

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Speaker 1: Still feel like a Monday to me, Like I feel

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Speaker 1: the same lethargic feeling that I always feel on the Monday. Um.

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Speaker 1: You know what's interesting, the days actually don't feel the

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Speaker 1: same to me because since I'm still working, Like the

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Speaker 1: weekday still feels like the weekdays mm hmm. But the

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Speaker 1: weekends feel like the weekends. But it all feels very

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Speaker 1: similar in in a weird way, like quite put my

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Speaker 1: finger on it. But but I do have to say,

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Speaker 1: this weekend was like such a great weekend. Why was

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Speaker 1: it such a great weekend, Tanya, let me tell you

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Speaker 1: you something, because Red Star night got like a really

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Speaker 1: good night of Ship's Creek Marathon in so like we

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Speaker 1: got we I think, like normally when we watched TV,

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Speaker 1: we can't really watch too much TV because we end

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Speaker 1: up just like making out the whole time, you know,

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Speaker 1: like we're still in that phase of But this weekend

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Speaker 1: we got like a solid like seven eight episodes in

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Speaker 1: at one time, and that's the most we've ever done.

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Speaker 1: So it's like really proud of us for that. Wow.

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Speaker 1: And then we um we did like a picnic thing

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Speaker 1: like um, like a picnic at home situation where we

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Speaker 1: like put a blanket down and we like packed like

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Speaker 1: a bottle of wine and homemade crackers and things like that,

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Speaker 1: and we played cards and we played fun like getting

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Speaker 1: to know you games and it was just like such

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Speaker 1: a nice weekend. Tell us about those homemade crackers you've

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Speaker 1: you've made delicious? No, they did not. They looked so disgustedly.

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Speaker 1: It looked like, Okay, I don't know if anyone's ever

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Speaker 1: been to communion in like a Catholic church, but it's

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Speaker 1: like these like basically these white things they're crackers, but

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Speaker 1: they like dissolve in your mouth. You I'm like you thinking,

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Speaker 1: So I've been really into making my own almond milk

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Speaker 1: during this quarantine because I never realized how easy it is,

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Speaker 1: Like you guys, It's literally so easy and there's no

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Speaker 1: preservatives in it. So I'm like only going to make

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Speaker 1: almond milk on my own from now on. But you

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Speaker 1: get all this leftover pulp and so I'm like wanting

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Speaker 1: to try and figure out something to do with it.

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Speaker 1: And so siauslet mean this recipe of these crackers and

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Speaker 1: she's like, they basically taste like cheese. It's and I

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Speaker 1: was like, bomb, okay. So I'm making the first bat

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Speaker 1: and like they were like burnt and like not great.

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Speaker 1: But the second batch, I was like, oh, these are good.

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Speaker 1: Like I crushed it this time based on based on

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Speaker 1: how they looked or how they tasted. So do you

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Speaker 1: do you like season them at all? Or do you like,

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Speaker 1: how does that nutritional yeast? So basically the tradtional yeast

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Speaker 1: is like a vegans form of cheese. It's so good. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's so good. So we were eating them and like

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Speaker 1: he literally like he was eating them and he was like,

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Speaker 1: do you really think these are good or just like

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Speaker 1: good because they're healthy, And I was like, I think

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Speaker 1: they're bold, and he was like, because I can't tell

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Speaker 1: if I'm eating your crackers or a piece of cheery bark. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I love Red Star because is just that is what

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Speaker 1: I think. How I think you process everything is like

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Speaker 1: you have a you've like mentally convinced yourself that it's

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Speaker 1: good because it's healthy, like it's good for you, so

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Speaker 1: therefore it tastes good, which is honestly, it's like a

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Speaker 1: superpower to each batch that I'm making, like I'm doing

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Speaker 1: so it's literally so easy to make, so I just

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Speaker 1: do it. Every time I make almond milk, each batch

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Speaker 1: is getting better and better. So the one I made

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Speaker 1: this morning is even better than the last. Um. But

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Speaker 1: I told him over the weekend that like me and

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Speaker 1: you always joke about how when we have kids, that

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be the house that has like the

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Speaker 1: almond pulp crackers, and like Becca's house is going to

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Speaker 1: be the house with like the oreos and the gritos

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Speaker 1: and stuff. My kids, my kids will never want to

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Speaker 1: go to your house. They'll be like, can they please

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Speaker 1: come over here? I know, I couldn't really figure out

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Speaker 1: where he landed on that, Like I couldn't l if

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Speaker 1: he was like ha ha, or like what's happy about that?

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Speaker 1: I can tell I think, yeah, I think, well, he's

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Speaker 1: already healthy, so I feel like he probably would just

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Speaker 1: like maybe a balance, maybe like a healthy cracker, but

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Speaker 1: maybe not almond pulp crackers, you know, right, right, right, right,

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Speaker 1: But I'm glad you all had a good weekend. I

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Speaker 1: saw photos and they looked really cute. It's so weird,

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Speaker 1: Like it's so weird because I'd almost be like starting

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Speaker 1: a relationship in quarantine is like so it just kind

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Speaker 1: of throws you into it real fast, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, Like yeah, yeah, I mean you really discover

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Speaker 1: if you like each other. It's a real like marriage

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Speaker 1: test run, you know. Yeah. Like it's weird because I

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Speaker 1: have been single for so long and I just kind

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Speaker 1: of wake up and I do what I want on

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Speaker 1: my own terms, and so I thought it would be

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Speaker 1: weird having him around all the time, but like I

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Speaker 1: actually really like it. And when he's not here, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: where's my buddy? I feel like when he's not there,

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Speaker 1: those are your down days. But when I talk to

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Speaker 1: you and he's there, you're all like, I'm great. But

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Speaker 1: when he's not, You're like what is life? I'm questioning everything,

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Speaker 1: Like I think it's less about the quarantine and more

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Speaker 1: about red starving around. It's so weird because I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of people are having like up and down days.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out like what mine correlate with

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Speaker 1: it always seems to do, Like when I have like

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Speaker 1: a big cleaning day, I always seem to get like

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Speaker 1: in my head about things. I I woke up this

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Speaker 1: morning and I've missed my I've missed my friends, and

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Speaker 1: I've missed like normalcy in my family and like traveling

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Speaker 1: and stuff. This whole time, like it's been in my head.

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Speaker 1: But today I woke up and I was just like

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Speaker 1: so frustrated that I couldn't just be like, hey, let's

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Speaker 1: hang out or let you know, it just like hit me.

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Speaker 1: I also started my period to day and I worked

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Speaker 1: I like can barely process thoughts right now because I

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Speaker 1: worked out so hard this morning. Wait, talk to me

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Speaker 1: about your period because I'm about to get mine. Two.

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Speaker 1: Does that mean we we've always been synced up? Hold on, Phoebe. Once,

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Speaker 1: I've moved the office into the closet for sound quality

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Speaker 1: and a Phoebe wanted in, but now she's wanting out.

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Speaker 1: There we go, Bye, Phoebe, she says, bye. Um. I

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Speaker 1: feel like we probably have times where we're seeing to

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Speaker 1: when we're not. I would imagine being friends for as

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Speaker 1: long as we have. There's gotta be some crossover somewhere.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you. Yeah, but yeah, like when you're

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Speaker 1: when you're around each other though, so the fact that

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Speaker 1: we haven't been around each other that's kind of crazy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I like where your head's at. Yeah, but um yeah,

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Speaker 1: I it's been the week for my period is where

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Speaker 1: I'm really just like my most evil Honestly, I know

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Speaker 1: what I have to say, Like, I'm so proud of

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Speaker 1: you for just like I feel like you've been like

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Speaker 1: even keeled this entire time. Like I've been a freaking

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Speaker 1: roller coaster. I've been like up, down and around and

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Speaker 1: Becca has been like steady eddie. Yeah. But that's all

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Speaker 1: because first of all, I mean my personality is pretty

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Speaker 1: much that, but also my life is pretty consistent with

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Speaker 1: what this is, aside from like getting to see my

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Speaker 1: friends and stuff, and I've been like, well, I get

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Speaker 1: to talk to them, I get to see them on zoom.

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Speaker 1: But today I was just like I woke up and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, it's just not the same. Like I was

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Speaker 1: looking through pictures of like traveling, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I just want to go and be able to be like,

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Speaker 1: let's go to the desert for the weekend and get

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Speaker 1: a house of the pool, you know, the thing that's

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Speaker 1: weird is just like we don't know when this is

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Speaker 1: gonna be done, you know what I mean? Like I

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Speaker 1: don't like, you know, it's like such a um question

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Speaker 1: mark as to when this is gonna be on or

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Speaker 1: how it's gonna be done, or if it's going to

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Speaker 1: go back to normal or you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: I think that's what's really tripping me up, is like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I did have the best burger of possibly my life

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Speaker 1: this last weekend, and I'm kind of jealous about it.

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Speaker 1: So any of your nails, which we need to get

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Speaker 1: back to you by the way, yea. Um, So the

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Speaker 1: burger I was posting, I posted like a story recently

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Speaker 1: and I was just saying, like all the foods I

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Speaker 1: was craving, which was like everything. But um, this girl

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Speaker 1: wrote me on Facebook and she sent me the instagram

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Speaker 1: to this burger place in l A called Burgers Never

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Speaker 1: Say Die, and the the whole thing is like you

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Speaker 1: call into order, but they had closed once every like

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Speaker 1: quarantine started, but then they were reopening and they were

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Speaker 1: just doing pickup orders and she was like, but you

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Speaker 1: have to order in advance, and like you have to

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Speaker 1: wait in line, like it's a it's a big deal,

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Speaker 1: like it's very popular. So I saw the picture and

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Speaker 1: I thought about I like, was having vivid dreams about

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Speaker 1: eating this burger and what it would taste like. And

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Speaker 1: so I'm doing a work So Haley and I've been

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Speaker 1: doing workouts with our trainer over FaceTime or whatever, which

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Speaker 1: has been great. It's like, you know, it's been great

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Speaker 1: for me to do. But her trainer was like, um, hey,

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Speaker 1: if y'all, if y'all want a good burger, my husband

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Speaker 1: is like co owner somehow involved in this restaurant called

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Speaker 1: Burgers Never Say Die. And I was like, are you

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Speaker 1: kidding me? I was like, I've literally been dreaming about

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Speaker 1: a burger from there ever since I heard about it,

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Speaker 1: and she was like, oh, yeah, they just opened back

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Speaker 1: up today. So um, we drove and got one on Friday,

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Speaker 1: and it was you know how you see pictures or

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Speaker 1: you think about things and you imagine how they'll they'll taste,

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Speaker 1: and then you taste it and you're like, it was good,

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Speaker 1: but it wasn't like exactly what I thought it would be.

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Speaker 1: This was everything I thought it would be. It was

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Speaker 1: perfect it And then Easton responded and gave me the

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Speaker 1: validation I needed as a fellow fast food foodie. Wait,

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Speaker 1: it's fast food. I mean it's I mean it's a burger.

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Speaker 1: It's like it's it's a really really well made burger.

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Speaker 1: And it's like and then they make their fries in

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Speaker 1: beef tallow like how McDonald's used to, so they so

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Speaker 1: it's not vegan, but um, it's so good. And I

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Speaker 1: used they used to do it out of an apartment complex,

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Speaker 1: like I would just like set up the griddle like

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Speaker 1: in a parking lot. And uh. I went when they

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Speaker 1: were doing it at a like a pub. They were

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Speaker 1: doing in a parking lot of a pub, and I

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Speaker 1: waited in line for like an hour and a half

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Speaker 1: and I was like, man, this burger better be good.

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Speaker 1: And oh my god, it's so good. They're so good. Wait,

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Speaker 1: I want to try that because when I'm on my period,

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Speaker 1: the only thing I want is a burger. And I

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Speaker 1: think it's because I never eat I never eat red meat.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that makes sense. I really think you'd like it, Becca,

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Speaker 1: What would you compare it to in terms of like,

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Speaker 1: it reminds me a lot of a shake shack burger,

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Speaker 1: but like a much better version of it. Interesting because

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Speaker 1: I'm not a huge shake. I mean, I like shake shack,

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Speaker 1: but I wouldn't. I don't know, like I don't know

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Speaker 1: the Oh, the most comparable for me is this place

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Speaker 1: in Denver called Part Burger. No no no, I said

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Speaker 1: it was similar to that. Well, he's saying, compared to

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Speaker 1: something that we could have maybe tried at some point. Oh,

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Speaker 1: because like the places Random but Pub and Cincinnati, this

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Speaker 1: burger my mom used to make. I don't know, I haven't. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I haven't had. I haven't had anything like it in

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Speaker 1: l A to be honest. But the cheese is melted

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Speaker 1: to perfection. It's too thin patties. The key to perfect

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Speaker 1: burger for me is a thin patty, and then the

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Speaker 1: bun and the pickles are crunchy and juicy, and then,

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Speaker 1: like Easton said, the French fries that went along with it.

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Speaker 1: It was just absolute perfection. If you were in l A.

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Speaker 1: Highly recommend. Okay, I'm gonna try that and I'll let

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Speaker 1: you know. Yeah. So that was That was one of

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Speaker 1: the highlights. And then uh we started a little fires everywhere.

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Speaker 1: So good. It's literally one of the best shows that's

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Speaker 1: been on TV in my opinion in a long time.

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Speaker 1: What episode are you on We're caught up. We're just

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Speaker 1: waiting for the last one. Oh. I don't think I'm

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Speaker 1: even caught up. I think I'm on episode like four.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, there's seven out right now. I don't know

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Speaker 1: how you stopped. We literally would have to be like, okay,

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Speaker 1: let's stop so that we can we don't watch them

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Speaker 1: all in one sitting. So here's the thing with me

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Speaker 1: and TV. I can't stay up late to watch TV

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Speaker 1: because I had to get up early in the morning.

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Speaker 1: So by the time I like usually like I finished

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Speaker 1: work and then I work out, and then I like clean,

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Speaker 1: and then I make dinner, and then I really only

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Speaker 1: have time to watch like one episode of something, So

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Speaker 1: I can't really get through much stuff. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if I think you could sacrifice the cleaning session at

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Speaker 1: night since you do it all day during that I could,

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Speaker 1: And I actually I have to admit I have really

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Speaker 1: taken a step back from the cleaning thing. Like in

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Speaker 1: the beginning of Quarantine, I was like deep cleaning every

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Speaker 1: other day, Like when I tell you deep cleaning, like

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Speaker 1: all my hands and I like all four what is

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Speaker 1: it forearms or four legs or what for grubbing and

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Speaker 1: dusting and like the full thing. And now I'm doing

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Speaker 1: it like every two weeks a deep clean and then

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Speaker 1: like every day just like a little section. Okay, well

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Speaker 1: that seems really just tapering it back. But I really

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Speaker 1: could be more productive because like my nail has literally

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Speaker 1: split down the middle, because yeah, what happened. I have

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Speaker 1: acrylics and so it like literally split. Don't know if

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Speaker 1: you can see what. I'm like fully bending it like that,

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Speaker 1: but it's not coming off and I don't want to

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Speaker 1: peel it off because I'm too scared. Well yeah I wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: I'm just letting them like grow out fully until I

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Speaker 1: can get them done. But it seems a little bit

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Speaker 1: santy at the moment. I mean, it's just so like

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Speaker 1: the irony is that I always just do like a nude,

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Speaker 1: simple color that will grow out you can barely tell. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's like my go too. But before we went to

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Speaker 1: Hawaii for Britt's birthday, I was like, I'm spice it

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Speaker 1: up and I did a neon green French tip for

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Speaker 1: the first time, and then all of a sudden, all

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Speaker 1: the nail salons are closed and we can't go, and

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Speaker 1: so I have these ugly neon French. So finally I

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Speaker 1: was like, I filed my right hand, which so I'm

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Speaker 1: left handed, so it's my dominant hand. So I filed

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Speaker 1: my right hand down, but then I went It took forever,

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Speaker 1: and then I went to do my my dominant hand

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Speaker 1: with my non dominant hand and it was like too much,

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Speaker 1: so I just left it. So I had one without

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Speaker 1: the green tips one with the green tips. Finally, I thought,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to see if there's an electric nail file

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Speaker 1: on Amazon that I can get, so I found one.

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Speaker 1: I thought I was going to burn my nails off

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Speaker 1: for like cause severe damage, but I did it, and

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00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,480
Speaker 1: I did it well. It took forever. And then I

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00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:43,040
Speaker 1: got these glue ones that Jojo recommended, and what do

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00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:47,040
Speaker 1: you glue them on with permanent ink or it doesn't

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00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:57,280
Speaker 1: glue things sharp your nails and yeah, adhesive. No, the

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Speaker 1: nails came with adhesive, so I just at them one

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00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:03,399
Speaker 1: but I lost my I lost one of them the

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Speaker 1: very next day, and I was like, this is not

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Speaker 1: gonna work for me, and then I lost my pinky one.

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Speaker 1: But basically, all you have to do is make sure

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Speaker 1: you put enough adhesive on your nail and on the

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Speaker 1: like fake nail and so then I filed them down

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Speaker 1: so they look nice. Right now, those are good. I'm impressed.

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Speaker 1: So I ordered, um, nail polished remover and uh, just

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Speaker 1: nail polished because I don't have either or and I'm

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Speaker 1: going to venture to do my toes this this weekend.

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Speaker 1: M I made a huge mistake and tried to like

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Speaker 1: file my toes and I think I gave myself an

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Speaker 1: ingrown toenail. So I literally could not sleep last night

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Speaker 1: because I was in so much pain. I know, I've

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Speaker 1: almost ever had one. Yeah, I'm almost thinking it's better

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Speaker 1: to just like not touch any of my nails until

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Speaker 1: this is over, you know, I mean your toe nails

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Speaker 1: are gonna be like the hazard. I know. And actually

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Speaker 1: because I run um, I actually um one time I

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Speaker 1: got gels. That's why I can't get gels on my

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00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,920
Speaker 1: tone nails anymore, because I got gels. So I didn't

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Speaker 1: realize how long I had gone without getting a pedicure,

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00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:19,159
Speaker 1: and my nail was jabbing into my running shoe that

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00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 1: I like literally bruised, Like my nail is black for

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00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,960
Speaker 1: like it literally took six months to get out of it.

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00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,679
Speaker 1: So you just didn't feel the link but when you

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00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:34,160
Speaker 1: were just like living, it was just like poking out

335
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:38,320
Speaker 1: of your shoe and you had no idea. I wasn't

336
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:47,240
Speaker 1: like that about my toe nails getting long. I don't know, guys,

337
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, well, oh listen to this. Oh wait,

338
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,640
Speaker 1: I have a great story. If we want to take

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00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,399
Speaker 1: a break and then come back. Oh my god, what

340
00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 1: a tease. Alright, a good one too. Let's take a

341
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 1: break right here. Okay. So on Friday night, after the

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00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 1: most amazing burger of my life, Hayley and I are

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00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:31,160
Speaker 1: playing Mario Kart against um Marla who's her best friend,

344
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Speaker 1: and Thatcher who's her brother, and we're playing like virtual

345
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 1: You know, on Nintendo Switch you can play against each

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Speaker 1: other online. No, I don't know that because I don't.

347
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:45,200
Speaker 1: I don't play video games. Okay, so on loser, So

348
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 1: on Nintendo Switch you can like go online and you

349
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 1: can play your friends who have it. It is fun

350
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,679
Speaker 1: and um we're just like in the middle of a

351
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Speaker 1: battle and someone like bangs on my door and they're

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Speaker 1: like police department, and I like freak out. Literally in

353
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Speaker 1: my brain the way my mind works, I was like,

354
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:12,680
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I haven't gotten my registration stickers from

355
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 1: my car. They're after me. Um. So anyways, I opened

356
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 1: the door and they were like hi. They're like there's

357
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Speaker 1: like three cops standing there, and they're like, is everything okay?

358
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Speaker 1: And I was like yeah. I was like we're good,

359
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 1: and they're like, there, we just heard some noise coming

360
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 1: from inside. I was like, oh, we're just playing video games.

361
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Speaker 1: And I was like what's going on and they're like, oh,

362
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: there was a um like a noise complaint um in

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Speaker 1: the complex. And I was like, oh for me, and

364
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,920
Speaker 1: they were like, no, for one of the other tenants,

365
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,359
Speaker 1: and they're I do know any of your neighbors? Do

366
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 1: you know any of your neighbors who um don't speak English?

367
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 1: And I was like no, I don't know a lot

368
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,199
Speaker 1: of my neighbors that well. I know a few of

369
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,439
Speaker 1: them here and there. They're like do you know this number?

370
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,159
Speaker 1: And I was like no, I don't know who that is.

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Speaker 1: So I guess there had been a complaint for domestic

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Speaker 1: um abuse or something. And so they're like there's like

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Speaker 1: seven cops walking around with like huge weapons on them

374
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Speaker 1: and I was just standing there like yeah, it was

375
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Speaker 1: so intense, and so they were like banging on the door.

376
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Speaker 1: No one was answering. Then one of the other neighbors

377
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 1: went and saw that their cars were still there, so

378
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 1: they knew they were home. It was just so intense.

379
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:33,880
Speaker 1: So finally I guess the girl came out and said

380
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Speaker 1: that she had called nine one one, But I don't.

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00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 1: I couldn't really hear what was going on, But I

382
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 1: don't know what ended up happening because I didn't want

383
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,919
Speaker 1: to be nosy, so I just went back inside. But

384
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 1: it was so scary. I haven't I've like not slept

385
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 1: soundly since I literally hate that stuff so much. Like

386
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,119
Speaker 1: when things like that happened at my apartment complex, I

387
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,879
Speaker 1: get so like, I don't know why, I feel like

388
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 1: a mother hen of my apartment complex, because like I

389
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: feel like I'm like the like the not the mascot,

390
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,439
Speaker 1: but I feel like I'm the one that needs to

391
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: like stand to protect her on the protector of my

392
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 1: entire apartment complex because I am the apartment that's kind

393
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 1: of like the first one, you know what I mean.

394
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,679
Speaker 1: So like I feel like it's my job to just

395
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 1: make sure everybody's safe, and so when things are going on,

396
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 1: like in front of our apartment complex, I'm the one

397
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 1: that always like calls the cops, and I do a

398
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 1: lot more often than than one would think. Or oh um,

399
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,880
Speaker 1: but I like I peek my eyes over the window

400
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,960
Speaker 1: to like see because I've heard like a guy and

401
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 1: a girl. I think they live somewhere around here, like

402
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:43,360
Speaker 1: getting gnarly into it, like domestic like fight, and I'll

403
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: like call the cops to like come and I'll just

404
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,360
Speaker 1: be stating watching them the entire time, scared, and it's

405
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 1: just like yeah, and you don't want to get too involved,

406
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:53,879
Speaker 1: but you want to be aware of what's going on

407
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:56,120
Speaker 1: if you can step in and help. And so I'm

408
00:23:56,160 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 1: like these people, I think this whoever lives in unit

409
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 1: they moved in recently, so I don't I don't even

410
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 1: know if I've seen them around or even like you know,

411
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,560
Speaker 1: if I would recognize them. But I'm like, I feel

412
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 1: I kind of feel the same way of like this

413
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:14,159
Speaker 1: responsibility of like being on the lookout, but also like

414
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 1: not wanting to do It's so weird, Like I don't

415
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: know why I like to put this like on myself.

416
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 1: Like the other day there was a homeless man um

417
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,879
Speaker 1: I don't know how to say this, um pleasuring himself

418
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 1: can I say that? Yeah, alright, pleasuring himself just on

419
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:36,360
Speaker 1: our front lawn. And I like felt really bad because

420
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: like I felt for him, you know, like where is

421
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 1: he gonna? Like he has nowhere to go? But then

422
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 1: I'm like, there's children that live in here, Like what

423
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 1: if one of them walk outside and see like this

424
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 1: man pleasuring himself on the lawn right here. Oh I'm

425
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 1: I mean I feel I know what you're saying, like

426
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 1: you feel for him, but I don't know if he

427
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 1: necessarily needs to be doing that while he's like going

428
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 1: in bubble. That's a different like humanly urge that that

429
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 1: you can't really it's not it's a non essential. Did

430
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 1: you did you call the police? I did. I was

431
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:20,439
Speaker 1: driving and yeah I did, but I thought that about it,

432
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:25,439
Speaker 1: but I was like, no, I was driving on around

433
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 1: Hollywood Boulevard and there was a man with his sweatpants

434
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,119
Speaker 1: down to his knees and no underwear on, and he

435
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: was just dancing on the streets, and I saw some

436
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 1: things that I shouldn't have seen. You know, he was

437
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 1: just living his life. You know, we're all on a

438
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 1: different path. Um, yeah, we're all on a different path.

439
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 1: No judgment, you know, but but Becka, did you, um, so,

440
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,360
Speaker 1: have you have you heard this couple before in your

441
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 1: part like complex that that was having the dispute. Is

442
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 1: this something that's been going on for a while. No.

443
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 1: So Weirdly that day, earlier in the day, I was

444
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,679
Speaker 1: sitting on the couch and heard like a I don't know,

445
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 1: like a scream or like a moan. I literally almost

446
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,119
Speaker 1: thought someone was having like loud sex or something. So

447
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 1: I and I didn't really it was the first time

448
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 1: that's ever happened. Like, my complex is really quiet, it's calm,

449
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 1: it's a lot of families, and so I didn't literally

450
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,880
Speaker 1: never thought a thing of it. But the neighbor who

451
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 1: shares a wall with the unit that they came to

452
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 1: check on, they said they hear them like I think,

453
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 1: fighting or like yelling a lot. So I don't know,

454
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,639
Speaker 1: she just acts like the girl that I talked to

455
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 1: seemed like, yeah, we hear them all the time. Man,

456
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 1: that's that's tough. So I know it's that. I think

457
00:26:54,400 --> 00:27:01,919
Speaker 1: that's why I've felt so like, um um, I don't know,

458
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 1: like it's hard because I, like I said, I don't

459
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 1: want to come across as nosy or stepping on anyone's

460
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 1: toes or being anyone's business. But at the same time,

461
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, that felt for that, for that many

462
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 1: cops to come out and be that concerned, if you know,

463
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,959
Speaker 1: it felt serious. So I'm just my eyes are, my

464
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 1: eyes are. I'm aware of what's happening, and I'm keeping

465
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: and eye on the situation when I can. I mean

466
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,919
Speaker 1: me too, girl. When I when I first moved to

467
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: l A, I I went down to um uh Fairfax

468
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 1: and uh Santa Monica. There's like a bunch of like

469
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 1: clothing stories down there. And I parked in this neighborhood

470
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 1: and this guy pulled up behind me and his girlfriend

471
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,919
Speaker 1: or wife was driving, and he was sitting passenger and

472
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: he was just just like close fest just punching her

473
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,919
Speaker 1: so hard, and I was like, oh my god. So

474
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 1: I sat there and I think I was tryna think

475
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 1: about what to do. And so I get out of

476
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,959
Speaker 1: the car and then he gets out of the car

477
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 1: are and like starts walking towards me. And then I

478
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: got back in the car and I got the license

479
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: plate and I drove away and I called the police,

480
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 1: and I felt I've always felt like a coward in

481
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 1: that moment, and um for like not stopping because like,

482
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 1: who you know, I should have stopped him, but who's

483
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,120
Speaker 1: this giant dude? And so I called my My dad's

484
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 1: a police officer, and I called him and I was like,

485
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 1: I feel horrible, man, Like this woman was like in

486
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,719
Speaker 1: serious need and I just like I left. And He's like,

487
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: when those situations, really the best thing you can do

488
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,160
Speaker 1: is be a good witness, because what would have happened.

489
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: He's like, you would have gotten a fight with him,

490
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:39,959
Speaker 1: he would have like beaten the crap out of you,

491
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 1: and then the cops would have come, and then who knows,

492
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 1: you know, maybe she would have denied it. Who knows

493
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: what would have happened. So those things too, because like

494
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 1: you want to help, but it almost could do more

495
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 1: damage than good. Yeah, exactly, And like and the truth

496
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 1: is like if I, if I somehow got involved, it

497
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 1: could if it's a situation where things are bad and

498
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: she might be in denial or whatever, it might make

499
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 1: things worse for her the more that people are involved.

500
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 1: So I think I'm just gonna, you know, if I

501
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 1: hear something that's like suspicious or not out of the norm,

502
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna, you know, be aware of it this time. Definitely,

503
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 1: um yeah, but to uh to do it? To do

504
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 1: a slight pivot. Who's your character and Mario Kart? Do

505
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 1: you like to race as? Oh? So I race as

506
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 1: a peach princess. Interesting, I'm a warrior guy and I win. Really, actually,

507
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 1: I see that. Let me just say it here right now.

508
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 1: If if you guys hear me talking about ever playing

509
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 1: a video game on this podcast, you will know that

510
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 1: I have officially cracked. Honestly, it's so fun just saying that,

511
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 1: just throwing that out now. If anybody sees me playing

512
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 1: a video game of sorts, you will know has cracked.

513
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: We're in week twelve of Quarantine. Tanya is playing Animal

514
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 1: Crossing like obsessing about her acorns. Honestly, though, of all

515
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 1: the things, I haven't played, but from what I've heard,

516
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 1: I could totally see Tanya getting obsessed with the Animal

517
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 1: Crossing and acting like she had it's her duty to

518
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: do her jobs or whatever. On that game, you'd feel

519
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 1: like you're being so productive. So I haven't played it either,

520
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 1: but I could I could also see that. I'm a

521
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: cool guy. I don't play any video games. I'm very cool.

522
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 1: I don't know I got quite a lengthy list of

523
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 1: things to do before I get a Nintendo. So well,

524
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: they're like sold out everywhere, so good luck, you're lost.

525
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 1: I think I'd rather order a printer and practice like

526
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 1: printing things than play video games. Practice printing what's sort

527
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 1: of practice? It was like her I had to be

528
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 1: like sarcastic, but it was just a bust. I can't

529
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 1: hang out, guys, I go practice my printer. Yeah. Sorry,

530
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 1: you're playing your video games. I gotta go practice my

531
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: We're doing double sided tonight. I'm like creating my own

532
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 1: games over here. Have either of you tried to learn

533
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 1: like me? I'm sorry if you've already brought this up.

534
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 1: Have you either like learned a new instrument or something

535
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 1: like that or anything like during the quarantine? Yeah, I

536
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 1: guess not just in general, But um no, I haven't.

537
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: Have you have? I I mean, where'd it go? I have? Ah?

538
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 1: I have a um I have of a ukulele that

539
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 1: I've been practicing, and I also have this ak arena

540
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 1: that I'm trying to break into. But that's about it. Yeah,

541
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: I don't really. It's weird because I'm like, I don't

542
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 1: have the time to like, yeah, do anything really aside

543
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 1: from like, I mean, you're working like full time and

544
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: every you know, like life hasn't really changed. It's only

545
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 1: the weekends where I have more time than I usually do.

546
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 1: But um, I'm trying to treat my weekends like I

547
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 1: would like a regular weekend, you know what I mean. Like, Well,

548
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 1: I think people sometimes use the weekends to learn new hobbies. Yeah,

549
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 1: I do. I wish I was reading more. I do

550
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 1: wish I was reading more. It's so easy to like,

551
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 1: at least for me, because I'm the same way, like

552
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 1: I've got like three books by my bed, and I

553
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 1: keep telling myself like, oh, when I get into bed,

554
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 1: I'll pick up the books. But it's so easy just

555
00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 1: to be like just like on your phone and then yeah,

556
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 1: like I'm either on my phone or on cleaning. If

557
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 1: I cut up the cleaning, I could really make something

558
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 1: good in that window. I I spend so much to

559
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 1: useless time on TikTok is the worst, Like it's the

560
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 1: best and the worst. Because I lay the other night,

561
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 1: I've not been sleeping well, like I don't know what's

562
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 1: going on. I'm just really having a hard time sleeping.

563
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 1: And the other night I took two advil PM and

564
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 1: I read a book. Put my phone down and read

565
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 1: a book. When I say, I don't even remember falling asleep.

566
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: It was the best sleep I've gotten forever. And I'm like,

567
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was just the advil PM

568
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,479
Speaker 1: or if it was just putting my phone down and

569
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 1: reading a book. Interesting, Yeah, because the phone just like

570
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: keeps your brain going. Maybe I'm going to try that.

571
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try that with red Star reading before we

572
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: go to sleep to see if it gives us better sleep.

573
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 1: I think it does. I mean, I notice if I

574
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: if I can just put my phone down, it's just dumb.

575
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, why can't I do this every Why do

576
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 1: I feel like I have to go through TikTok for

577
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 1: twenty minutes before I'm going to sleep. It'll all be

578
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 1: there the next day, you know, you can. You can

579
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,399
Speaker 1: check it in the morning, just a bunch of use.

580
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh wow, that's a great easy recipe. Or

581
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 1: you know, I'm just literally like, fully gonna try this

582
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 1: this week and I'll report back next week if it helps.

583
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:38,720
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's great, I'm sure. And also, if anyone's listening,

584
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: if you have any remedies for sleep, I am a

585
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 1: big advocate for CBD. Um, I'm into melotonin. I just

586
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 1: can't find one that really does the trick for me.

587
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 1: So I got this red Star is having a little

588
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 1: bit of problem sleeping as well, and so I got

589
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 1: this little um like essential oil that I put in

590
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,439
Speaker 1: my debut user. It's called like good Night. I don't

591
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 1: really think it's working for him, but it smells quite

592
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 1: nice and it puts you in a tranquil space where

593
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 1: you go to sleep. So maybe try that. Yeah, that's

594
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:17,359
Speaker 1: called lavender. I've tried that. You need something harder, Yeah,

595
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:23,239
Speaker 1: I need something in my system, okay to help. Um.

596
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 1: We have a guest on today and I'm actually super

597
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 1: excited to chat with her. Her name is Dr Viviana Coles,

598
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:35,359
Speaker 1: and we're going to call her doctor VIM. I think

599
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 1: that's what she goes by, but um, she is uh like,

600
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: she's a doctor of Marriage and Family Therapy. She's a

601
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 1: certified sex therapist, and she's also an expert on married

602
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 1: at First Sight on Lifetime. I'm excited to get her

603
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: on the phone because I think this is a really

604
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:57,399
Speaker 1: interesting time for couples who have never spent this much

605
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 1: time together and wondering if they are in the right

606
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 1: relationship with the right person, or if this is a

607
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 1: sign to get out now. So, um, we're gonna bring

608
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 1: her on in a second, and we're going to take

609
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,839
Speaker 1: a break and we'll be right back with Dr vin

610
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 1: all right, you guys, we are back and we have

611
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:37,760
Speaker 1: Dr Viviana. Cole's in the building. Well on our phone,

612
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,919
Speaker 1: zoom whatever. She's here, she's with us. I'm here, I'm

613
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:46,399
Speaker 1: care thank you. Um, so you go by Dr viv

614
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 1: Actually I don't. Oh, It's like everyone's in calling me

615
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 1: Dr viv And I'm like I love that. No, I mean,

616
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 1: I go by whatever anybody wants to call me. It's fine.

617
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 1: My name is Viviana, but everybody calls me Dr Vivid

618
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 1: and I've got with my family they call me Vivy,

619
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 1: and then I have a lot of friends who call

620
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 1: me viv So Dr VIVI is I like it? I

621
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: like it was. I want to set up what you

622
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 1: do because you are a doctor of marriage and family

623
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 1: therapy and a certified sex therapists. That's right. So every day,

624
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: all day, I'm talking to people about intimacy issues, physical

625
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:32,799
Speaker 1: intimacy especially, but emotional intimacy because as we all know

626
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 1: in relationships, you've gotta have both to feel like you're

627
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:38,359
Speaker 1: in a healthy relationship. So that's what I do day

628
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 1: in and day out. It's um, it's a lot of

629
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 1: fun to help people, but it's also really heavy steps.

630
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:46,840
Speaker 1: So a lot of people are like, oh, so, I

631
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:50,479
Speaker 1: guess you talked to them about positions and stuff like yeah,

632
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 1: like five percent of the time, But most of the

633
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 1: time it's because nothing's going on, Like nothing's going on

634
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,839
Speaker 1: in the bedroom. They're on the verge of divorce, they've

635
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 1: been unhappy, they're really trying to reconnect, and it's been

636
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 1: like eight years, you know, Like it's pretty dramatic in

637
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 1: my own Here's my question to you, how do you

638
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,399
Speaker 1: notice like a pattern or like how do people get

639
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,360
Speaker 1: to that point in their marriage, because like in the beginning,

640
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 1: all you want is like intimacy and then like when

641
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 1: does that turn happen? And how do you like prevent that.

642
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:25,720
Speaker 1: That's a great question. I've actually never had anybody asked

643
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:28,359
Speaker 1: me that, but I'm constantly dealing with this, so I'm

644
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 1: really glad you asked that, Tiy. The thing is, I

645
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 1: think for a lot of people, they really rely on

646
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 1: their hormones and their urges to drive desire, and when

647
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 1: that naturally starts to peter out over the course of

648
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 1: eighteen to twenty four months, people usually either just say, oh,

649
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: this is how it's gonna be, or they break up

650
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 1: with each other. So a lot of people are not

651
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 1: focusing on that transition, and I wish people would come

652
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 1: to me early on so I could help them through

653
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 1: the transition that we all go because mentally and in

654
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:05,240
Speaker 1: our brains, we cannot handle that same level of passion

655
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 1: that we have in new relationships past eighteen to twenty

656
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 1: four months max. They can't see a lot of people

657
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:16,880
Speaker 1: who are in these monogamous relationships, serial monogamous relationships, but

658
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 1: they're only for like a year and a half to

659
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 1: two years at the most. Some people can't even make

660
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 1: it that far. But yeah, I think that transition is

661
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 1: what people really need to work on. How do you

662
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 1: transition from passion to something that's more of like a

663
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 1: long lasting burn that is so pushing. It's so funny

664
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:37,839
Speaker 1: because I had a friend who would always say she

665
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: was addicted to love, and I think what she meant

666
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 1: was she was like because she would be in those

667
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:46,839
Speaker 1: serial relationships where they would last like a year, year

668
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 1: and a half, and then she'd like it would be

669
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 1: onto the next one and she's like, I'm addicted to love,

670
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 1: and I'm And now that you say that, it's more

671
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 1: like she was addicted to that passionate love that's in

672
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 1: the beginning of a relationship. So so you're saying that

673
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 1: there's like an actual hormone that is like being used

674
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 1: in that beginning and then that just like naturally goes away.

675
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: So it's actually brain chemistry that we're talking about. And

676
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 1: I'm not a neurologist, so I won't be the person

677
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 1: to like really give you all the you know, details

678
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: of it, but I will tell you that that it

679
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 1: is common knowledge that four months of passion is what

680
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:24,799
Speaker 1: you get at most before it starts to really need

681
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: to change, and you know, it almost needs to have

682
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,800
Speaker 1: like a metamorphosis in order to change into something that

683
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,879
Speaker 1: that's lasting, and a lot of couples don't do that.

684
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 1: So what ends up happening is they just kind of

685
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 1: let it dip. They think, Okay, it'll come back, don't worry,

686
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 1: they'll come back, no problem, and then it doesn't come

687
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:45,879
Speaker 1: back because they haven't put any work into keeping that

688
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 1: spark alive. And then it feels like it's funny. I

689
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 1: tell my clients is a lot it feels like they

690
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 1: turned off the gas to the house, and every time

691
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: they want to get it on, they have to go

692
00:40:56,360 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 1: call the gas company, turn it on, then go like

693
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 1: the pilot light, then like the burners, and it's like

694
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:07,839
Speaker 1: this huge, big deal and so everyone's like, ah, it's

695
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 1: too much trouble and stressed out. I'd rather just sleep

696
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 1: because for a lot of people, they knew in their sleep,

697
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 1: but at the beginning you didn't need that sleep. You

698
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:20,320
Speaker 1: could you could have lost your job and you wouldn't care. Wait,

699
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 1: I'm so intrigued, So can you tell us like one

700
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 1: thing to do? Like, what can people do? I think

701
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 1: we need to take a page from a lot of

702
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:34,320
Speaker 1: men's books, which is the idea that they need to

703
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 1: they talk. They talk about sex often. They think about

704
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 1: sex often, even if it's not like you a really

705
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 1: you know, it's not like they're trying to masturbate all

706
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 1: the time or anything, but they at least think about sex.

707
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 1: They think about pleasure when it comes to sex on

708
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:52,359
Speaker 1: a daily basis, multiple times a day. And that's not

709
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 1: the case for a lot of women, Um, we tend

710
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 1: to not prioritize our sexuality and our sexual feelings and

711
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 1: desire until we have to switch it on when we're

712
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: in the bedroom. And that's something that I think men

713
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:09,600
Speaker 1: are awesome that because the reason that they always seem

714
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:13,280
Speaker 1: like they're ready, you know, quote unquote ready, is because

715
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,879
Speaker 1: they've been thinking about it. No, they haven't gone through

716
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,840
Speaker 1: like this entire fantasy every every minutes or anything, but

717
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 1: they at least think about it or allow outside messages

718
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 1: for movies, TVs, ads, radio podcasts, they allow those messages

719
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 1: in and they don't just kick them aside like a

720
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 1: lot of women do you know, if we're not in

721
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: a sexy place or a sexy mood, those things just

722
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:37,880
Speaker 1: bounce right off of us. What I would love for

723
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:40,279
Speaker 1: women to do is to allow the men every once

724
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:42,279
Speaker 1: in a while, like three out of five messages, let

725
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 1: them in. Yeah. Wow, that's really interesting. So are you

726
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 1: saying for for like at eighteen to twenty four months,

727
00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: that's kind of when it that brain chemistry stops for

728
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 1: women or is it for both women and women or

729
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 1: is it just like a couple. No, I mean it's

730
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,680
Speaker 1: for it's for everyone. And it's mainly for a I mean,

731
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 1: if you're in a relationship, you're assuming you both started

732
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 1: at the same time. That timeline tends to be true

733
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:12,799
Speaker 1: for both people, and unless somebody's gone outside of it

734
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 1: and has a new relationship enerview with somebody else. But

735
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 1: typically if you're in a monogamous relationship or if you're

736
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 1: in a committed relationship, that time frame is for both

737
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 1: of you. And what I have found is that couples

738
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 1: who last the longest with having that sexual component to

739
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:32,800
Speaker 1: their relationship, it's because they have actively kept it alive,

740
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:36,760
Speaker 1: they have nurtured it. They haven't thought after the kids,

741
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 1: you know, once the once the kids are sleeping on

742
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,799
Speaker 1: their own, once the kids are you know this, once

743
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 1: they're going to school. A lot of people think it'll

744
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,920
Speaker 1: come back, it'll it was there, it'll come back, and

745
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:50,960
Speaker 1: that's wishful thinking, and it doesn't really happen without the

746
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 1: help of someone you know, qualified, typically um like myself,

747
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:57,080
Speaker 1: to say, hey, let me tell you what this is

748
00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 1: gonna look like so that you can be ready. And

749
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,799
Speaker 1: if you've already let it go, it's going to take

750
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: work from both of you to reprioritize it. And look,

751
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 1: I'm not the kind of person. I'm not sex therapis, yes,

752
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:09,480
Speaker 1: but I'm not the kind of person who's going to

753
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 1: tell you you need to prioritize sex over everything else.

754
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 1: You know, we've all got lives and nobody got time

755
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 1: for that. But you've got to be in the top

756
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:22,080
Speaker 1: five at least if you're in a relationship. Most people

757
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: don't sign up to be in sexless relationships. And if

758
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 1: you did, okay, that's fine. If both of you signed

759
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 1: up for that, that's fine. You're not going to become

760
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 1: in my office because you're happy. Which for the people

761
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 1: that typically go into you know, a very um I

762
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 1: guess normative relationship, they are expecting to have sexuality and

763
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 1: sexual intimacy as well as emotional intimacy be a part

764
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,720
Speaker 1: of that relationship for the long term. And it takes work.

765
00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 1: But when it's two people, it doesn't feel like that.

766
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like it's hard as if it was

767
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,840
Speaker 1: just one person trying to, you know, carry a torch

768
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 1: for the second life, which I find a lot of

769
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 1: men do. Or every once in a while in my office,

770
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 1: I do get that woman who's like, I don't know

771
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 1: what's going on. Like I constantly am all over him

772
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 1: and he's just his head is somewhere else. And there

773
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:19,400
Speaker 1: are lots of reasons for that. Some can be detrimental

774
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 1: to the relationship as far as it being a betrayal happening,

775
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 1: and other times it's just a lot of stress. It's

776
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 1: a lot of stress. We have a lot going on. Yeah,

777
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:34,319
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, have you found that businesses like

778
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 1: booing for you right now? With so many couples spending

779
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 1: probably more time than ever together. Well, I'm really fortunate

780
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: that the type of work that I do is kind

781
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 1: of always in need. But right now I'm getting more

782
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,680
Speaker 1: people who are available more often for sessions because I

783
00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:52,760
Speaker 1: get a lot of busney people, I get people in

784
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 1: in you know, your business, I get people all of it,

785
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 1: And to get them to be able to have a

786
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:01,800
Speaker 1: regular hour every week isn't often the case. And now

787
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 1: they're like, can we can we talk to you for

788
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:07,000
Speaker 1: two hours? I'm like, yeah, let's do it. So yeah,

789
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 1: it's more that the availability is more there um and

790
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:13,799
Speaker 1: even my availabilities opened up a bit more because you know,

791
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:16,799
Speaker 1: as things are kind of sewing down or morphing into

792
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 1: a different way to do shows, and film and all that.

793
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,279
Speaker 1: So it's it's a lot of that combination. But I'm

794
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,359
Speaker 1: so glad that people even know that someone like me,

795
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 1: like a certified sex there was even exists, um, and

796
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,439
Speaker 1: that they're willing to reach out for help because this

797
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,440
Speaker 1: is this is the sort of thing. When sex isn't

798
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,800
Speaker 1: going well in a relationship, people will say it accounts

799
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:42,839
Speaker 1: for seventy of why they're unhappy, But when it's going well,

800
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:44,800
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, it's no big deal. It's like sex

801
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 1: is what like ten percent of a relationship. It's a

802
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:50,000
Speaker 1: big deal when it's a big deal. I do want

803
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,880
Speaker 1: to say that I do think there's ways to be like, um,

804
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 1: sexually intimate with somebody and not actually having sex with them. Absolutely.

805
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 1: So when I talk about sex, I'm talking about what

806
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 1: you're saying, Tanya, which is this idea of there can

807
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 1: be sensuality, there can be this undercurrent of sexiness, but

808
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:12,359
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about intercourse. UM. I think that a

809
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,320
Speaker 1: lot of people once they cross that line quote unquote

810
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:18,279
Speaker 1: into intercourse, they think, well, if we're not doing that,

811
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 1: then it's not worth it, Like what are we doing?

812
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:24,839
Speaker 1: And again, the people who are happiest have variety. They're

813
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 1: making out still, people make out. I'm like, go home

814
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:31,440
Speaker 1: and make out with your response. Do it in a

815
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:34,920
Speaker 1: place where you can't do anything more because you'll get arrested.

816
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:38,440
Speaker 1: Like make out, you know, touch each other, give each

817
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:42,320
Speaker 1: other with sausages, two showers together, give each other hand jobs.

818
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't all have to be about penetrative intercourse,

819
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:50,239
Speaker 1: right mm hmm. Well, we have a very um and

820
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 1: an email that came in from one of our listeners,

821
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 1: and we definitely feel like this is professional advice that

822
00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 1: is needed. And so Eastern is going to read the email,

823
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 1: and I think he's going to check and make sure

824
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 1: he's saying a word right, Hi, Dr viv Dr Viana.

825
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 1: This uh, this concerns a condition called vagin is SMUs.

826
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:15,719
Speaker 1: Am I saying that right? Alright, cool, I've been practicing

827
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 1: all day, Okay, um M, not anything different than usual. Um.

828
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 1: So here's the email. UM. I was diagnosed with vaginismus

829
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 1: about a year and a half ago. It's an involuntary

830
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 1: spasm or contraction of the pelvic floor muscles when anything

831
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 1: approaches for penetration, which makes sex extremely painful or not possible.

832
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 1: I'm a Christian and I've been saving myself for marriage

833
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 1: since being diagnosed diagnosed after an exam because of extreme

834
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 1: pain for failed attempts of a PAP smere I've tried

835
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:49,880
Speaker 1: going through a graduated dilator program and seeing a pelvic

836
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:53,879
Speaker 1: floor physical therapist. Neither of these was completely successful, though

837
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 1: I do think they helped a little. I got engaged

838
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 1: in December and planned to get married in June, but

839
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:01,800
Speaker 1: I'm so afraid said it just won't work. I'm dreading

840
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 1: my first time and I don't want this to ruin

841
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 1: my marriage. My fiance has been super patient, supportive, and encouraging.

842
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:12,320
Speaker 1: Do you know anyone who struggled with this? Wow? Unfortunately

843
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 1: I have heard of many, because I see a lot

844
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:19,400
Speaker 1: of these situations is where it can feel like there's

845
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 1: this unconsummated marriage situation happening. And while that's a very

846
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 1: outdated term, it's what they're coming in with. They're saying,

847
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 1: they're saying exactly what your color is saying, and there

848
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:35,840
Speaker 1: and this is a problem. Um, it's a very rare problem.

849
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:39,800
Speaker 1: It's not something that happens typically just out of the blue.

850
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:44,400
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's usually it's something that has happened or continued

851
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: since you know, adolescents. It's not something that will just

852
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 1: happen out of the loop. It can there's always accessions.

853
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 1: Typically it's an underlying anxiety disorder, which is why going

854
00:49:56,600 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 1: to see a public health for therapist is awesome for education,

855
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,799
Speaker 1: because the education will give her the knowledge and the

856
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 1: confidence in her body and in her anatomy to know

857
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 1: what exactly is happening. A lot of times women will

858
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 1: come to my office and they the educated women, um

859
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:19,439
Speaker 1: thirty five years old, who will be like, well, down there,

860
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:23,239
Speaker 1: something isn't right. And to get them to understand what

861
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:26,240
Speaker 1: down there really means, or to get me to understand

862
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:28,799
Speaker 1: what they doing by that, it takes a lot of education,

863
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 1: which I love to do. I just wish it was

864
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:34,760
Speaker 1: something that they already knew about themselves. So we often

865
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 1: talk about men having performance anxiety and how that plays out,

866
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 1: but we don't often think about the person who's actually

867
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 1: allowing something to be to penetrate them. That's performance anxiety too.

868
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 1: Sometimes people in my field will call vaginismus like a

869
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 1: panic attack in the vagina. It makes sense. I mean,

870
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:58,920
Speaker 1: I'm surprised it's as rare as it is, but I

871
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:00,520
Speaker 1: guess a lot of people don't want to talk about it.

872
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:04,359
Speaker 1: I wish what don't get help because, um, unfortunately many

873
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:07,200
Speaker 1: a baby has ended up after coming this. It's just

874
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,319
Speaker 1: see me. It's like, wonder if all you can get

875
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:10,920
Speaker 1: through it? Is what I'm trying to say. You can

876
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 1: work through it, but it's not something that will happen overnight.

877
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 1: And it's not something that if you say just relax,

878
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:19,880
Speaker 1: just relax, let it happen. No, that's not the way

879
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:22,479
Speaker 1: it works. There's a lot that goes into it, and

880
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:25,520
Speaker 1: it takes a lot of vulnerability. Um. I love that

881
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:27,799
Speaker 1: word because it really does mean a lot. But it

882
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:31,879
Speaker 1: takes confidence, trust, confidence in someone else, trusting someone else,

883
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:33,799
Speaker 1: trust in your own body. I mean, there's just so

884
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 1: much that goes into this receiving of a penis. I

885
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 1: mean it's a big deal. Yeah, I mean I yeah,

886
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,280
Speaker 1: I think what you said a spot on. I'm I

887
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 1: I honestly too. She was anonymous, but I really applaud

888
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:53,280
Speaker 1: her for like being open and vulnerable and asking for

889
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:56,600
Speaker 1: help and advice because I think what you said is

890
00:51:57,080 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 1: might be the first time she's heard like, Okay, you

891
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 1: focused on the physical therapy, but now it's time to

892
00:52:03,239 --> 00:52:06,040
Speaker 1: figure out what's going on? What mental block is there

893
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 1: that's well, And women who are in her situation, the

894
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:13,719
Speaker 1: first thing they'll do is talk to Google and they'll

895
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: go online and say, how do I fix this? What

896
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:19,439
Speaker 1: is this? I can't have sex? Is what they'll look

897
00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:21,919
Speaker 1: up and all of these things will come up saying

898
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:26,000
Speaker 1: it's vaginismus vaginismus and it might be yes, that that

899
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:28,800
Speaker 1: might be the case, but how you work through it.

900
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:31,880
Speaker 1: It's not going to happen online. And yes, you can

901
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,759
Speaker 1: get the dilator sets and you can start working through that.

902
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 1: But just because you can have something insert does not

903
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:43,759
Speaker 1: mean that it's going to end up working out in

904
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 1: the bedroom in a sexual experience. So that's part of it,

905
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 1: and I am I applaud women for even going that route. Um.

906
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 1: I found that a lot of times they'll come into

907
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 1: my office after having used the dilators and say, okay,

908
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 1: I was able to get to this one, but there's

909
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 1: I can't do that with my partner. I can't replicate it,

910
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 1: you know, it's not the same. Or they'll say I

911
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:08,560
Speaker 1: was able to do this, but then it was like

912
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 1: this isn't fun. Wants to do this? I don't want

913
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 1: to spend time every other day working, you know, having

914
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 1: something inside me, and you know it's it's not sexy.

915
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,759
Speaker 1: So when it's not sexy, or if they're not in

916
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:23,279
Speaker 1: a relationship, they don't feel the pressure, But then if

917
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:25,399
Speaker 1: they are in a relationship, they feel the pressure. So

918
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 1: it's not easy. So I applaud her for asking, but

919
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 1: it's definitely not going to be something that she finds online. Yeah,

920
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 1: good to know. Google is great for some things, but

921
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:40,360
Speaker 1: sometimes for other things that really just find out that

922
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 1: she's not alone. She's definitely not alone and there is

923
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 1: something there's a name to this, but as far as

924
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 1: the working through it, it's probably not gonna happen. Now. Yeah, well,

925
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 1: we um so appreciate. I feel like we could talk

926
00:53:56,120 --> 00:54:00,920
Speaker 1: to you all day, but um, we so appreciate you

927
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 1: coming on. Um, I know that you're on Married at

928
00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:06,359
Speaker 1: First Sight and then there's a reunion special that you'll

929
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:08,960
Speaker 1: be on this Wednesday. Is that correct? Yeah? So the

930
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:12,240
Speaker 1: reunion special is for the cast. Um, they're coming back

931
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:15,959
Speaker 1: and sharing what's been going on since Decision Day, which

932
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 1: just aired this past Wednesday. Married at First Sight has

933
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:24,799
Speaker 1: been interesting way to kind of see how couples deal

934
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:29,040
Speaker 1: with going from like straight up single, just straight unmarried

935
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:32,839
Speaker 1: in the seen and then to have the cameras so

936
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:34,920
Speaker 1: that we can understand what it's like and they can

937
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 1: share their experience with us. It's so amazing. I'm I'm

938
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 1: really really just ecstatic to be a part of the

939
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 1: whole process. I mean, it is I cannot even imagine

940
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 1: being in their positions, but it's so I mean, it's

941
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 1: fascinating because you you watch it and it makes sense

942
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:56,359
Speaker 1: how it can work with the professionals that are behind it.

943
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:59,399
Speaker 1: It's not just like bumble Day's going now, and it's

944
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:02,360
Speaker 1: not just let's roll the dice and put these people together.

945
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:05,399
Speaker 1: There are months of trying to figure out who these

946
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:08,040
Speaker 1: people are and what they need and what they want,

947
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:11,640
Speaker 1: and then finding out, to the best of our abilities,

948
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:14,239
Speaker 1: how to make sure that we have paired them with

949
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:17,319
Speaker 1: someone that they could have long term success with, that

950
00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:21,920
Speaker 1: they could have a lasting marriage. There's a lot of pressure, um,

951
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:25,719
Speaker 1: but it's really special. I mean, this is like it's

952
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 1: modern day matchmaking, but on steroids. Because we're thinking, we're

953
00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 1: trying to think of all these scenarios, but the truth

954
00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:37,920
Speaker 1: is we don't read mind, so we can't tell the future.

955
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:40,360
Speaker 1: We don't really know what's going to happen. We hope

956
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:43,839
Speaker 1: and we think it's gonna go a certain way. But then,

957
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,480
Speaker 1: just like everyone else, we're watching the episodes and there

958
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:50,960
Speaker 1: are certain things that we thought, oh okay, so when

959
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,000
Speaker 1: she said this, I thought it was like this, but

960
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 1: that face she made, of course he was going to

961
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 1: take it the wrong way or whatever. So it's just

962
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 1: really interesting to watch, especially even though I was a

963
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 1: part of it. Um, it's it's an interesting show when

964
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:07,080
Speaker 1: someone gets something out of it. I mean, this is

965
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 1: it's crazy. Oh yeah, I mean it's like it's such

966
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 1: a popular show. I think people are just so fascinated

967
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:17,080
Speaker 1: by the concept and the idea. But I remember when

968
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:19,920
Speaker 1: I watched them, like it makes I mean, you know,

969
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:22,799
Speaker 1: we were all trying to find someone we match with,

970
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:26,879
Speaker 1: So why not get professionals to do the research for

971
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 1: us and then put us together with someone And and

972
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:34,399
Speaker 1: that's truck is. We take it very very seriously. We

973
00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 1: want the best for them. We want people to see

974
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:41,520
Speaker 1: what marriage, what healthy marriage is like. Um, you know,

975
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 1: a lot of us, the three experts, the ones that

976
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:47,280
Speaker 1: do the matching, we all do this for a living

977
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:50,640
Speaker 1: on the side in one way, shape or form um

978
00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 1: and we we know how difficult it can be. But

979
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 1: the people that we picked have made us feel very

980
00:56:57,239 --> 00:57:01,160
Speaker 1: confident that they're ready for marriage. We know that they're

981
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 1: ready for married. We won't know until they're actually married,

982
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:05,480
Speaker 1: because by the time it starts, they're already married. It's

983
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:09,799
Speaker 1: already done. They take that deep dive into the deep end.

984
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:13,400
Speaker 1: And then we just sit back and hope that they're

985
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:15,440
Speaker 1: into each other and that they treat each other with

986
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:18,200
Speaker 1: respect and that you know, they can grow into something

987
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:22,479
Speaker 1: that's more lasting like love, and that they show each

988
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:28,360
Speaker 1: other the potential that we've seen. Yeah, that's awesome. Um.

989
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:31,840
Speaker 1: Where can people find you on Instagram? Website? Where can

990
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:34,800
Speaker 1: they get more information about you? Yeah? So, um, my

991
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:38,960
Speaker 1: name is Dr Viviana Coles and my website is dr

992
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:42,240
Speaker 1: Viviana dot com. My social media's Dr Viviana. I have

993
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:45,760
Speaker 1: online programs, I have an online community. Can be a

994
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:50,560
Speaker 1: part of UM. I love what's happening on Instagram because

995
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:53,360
Speaker 1: people are asking me these sorts of questions all the

996
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:57,919
Speaker 1: time and like idt V and I can just be like, hey,

997
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,360
Speaker 1: let me answer this question, and whoever happens to come

998
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:03,640
Speaker 1: across it might actually learn something. So it's such an

999
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 1: amazing platform on Facebook and Twitter and all of that.

1000
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 1: But yes, special media has been awesome for my for

1001
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 1: my field because you know, like this is what we

1002
00:58:12,680 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 1: do and I love one on one, but I also

1003
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:18,160
Speaker 1: really enjoy being able to help lots of people who

1004
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 1: will never see in my office. Right, Yeah, yeah, you're right,

1005
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:26,600
Speaker 1: that's really cool. Well, we really appreciate you taking the

1006
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:30,200
Speaker 1: time to talk with us and give our listeners some

1007
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:33,720
Speaker 1: insight to I mean, like I said, I feel like

1008
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:37,160
Speaker 1: couples right now are and they're like do I really

1009
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 1: like this person? And everybody needs to remember this is

1010
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:44,200
Speaker 1: new territory. Be nice to each other, give each other's face,

1011
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:48,880
Speaker 1: keep your expectations really low. We don't need anybody thinking like, oh,

1012
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:52,240
Speaker 1: this is our chance to really renovate our marriage. No,

1013
00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 1: everybody is stressed out. Everybody just needs to be able

1014
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:58,600
Speaker 1: to retreat to their corners and then come back together

1015
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:01,120
Speaker 1: and have fun. We don't know how long we're going

1016
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:04,200
Speaker 1: to be cooked up, so don't start, you know, stirring

1017
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:11,120
Speaker 1: up everything. Don't quarantine. That's really good advice. To be

1018
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:14,960
Speaker 1: nice to each other. That's the main takeaway. Yeah, well,

1019
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:17,480
Speaker 1: thank you so much dr babing, and I really appreciate.

1020
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:20,600
Speaker 1: We can't wait to have you better literally use first

1021
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:23,920
Speaker 1: of all long. I would love to, but I don't like.

1022
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 1: I just feel like it's such like a miss um.

1023
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:29,880
Speaker 1: I feel like women don't talk about things like this

1024
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:32,800
Speaker 1: to each other or out loud, and like it's like,

1025
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 1: how are you supposed to know what feels good to

1026
00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:36,960
Speaker 1: you if you've never you know what I mean? Like

1027
00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:41,200
Speaker 1: I barely know I'm thirty. How old am I thirty two?

1028
00:59:41,320 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 1: I lost my virginity at nineteen? And you know what

1029
00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 1: I mean. It's like I I still struggle and lots

1030
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:49,400
Speaker 1: of things, and like, I don't know, I just find

1031
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 1: it it's such like a weird it's such like an

1032
00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:58,040
Speaker 1: under um spoken out area. It's still pretty taboo. I mean,

1033
00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 1: I try to make it it's easy to talk about

1034
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:03,080
Speaker 1: these things, but it's still pretty taboo, and a lot

1035
01:00:03,120 --> 01:00:06,080
Speaker 1: of people don't want to admit when they're struggling in

1036
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 1: the bedroom, especially men. Men. I mean, they have to

1037
01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 1: have practically their peanuts falling off before they'll go ahead

1038
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:17,120
Speaker 1: to help about it. Um. I think it's really important

1039
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:19,320
Speaker 1: that it's not just women who aren't talking about that

1040
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:21,880
Speaker 1: it's men as well, and you just need to do it,

1041
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:27,560
Speaker 1: just get it out there. Think. Yeah, it's great advice. Well,

1042
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:32,360
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Stay safe and enjoy your time

1043
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:36,400
Speaker 1: with your family and we will talk to you soon hopefully. Yeah,

1044
01:00:37,640 --> 01:00:57,360
Speaker 1: thank you so much, guys, take care bye bye. Um So,

1045
01:00:57,480 --> 01:01:00,720
Speaker 1: having Dr Vivon made me realize something that I didn't

1046
01:01:00,720 --> 01:01:04,520
Speaker 1: even ask you about. Becca, What how is your relationship

1047
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:09,240
Speaker 1: doing in this quarantine. We're I mean, we're great. I

1048
01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:15,640
Speaker 1: think the thing is, I mean, to be honest, I

1049
01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 1: don't really feel like we need a ton of time

1050
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 1: apart from each other. Like I haven't had any moments

1051
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 1: where I'm like I need my space, but we each

1052
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:26,120
Speaker 1: have our own place, so if one of us needs

1053
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 1: a space, then there's an escape in that way. But

1054
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:33,720
Speaker 1: I haven't really felt that immense need force for from

1055
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:38,640
Speaker 1: for space. Um. So, like we've been good, but I

1056
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:42,840
Speaker 1: think there's moments where they're stressed or like fear or

1057
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:46,720
Speaker 1: anxiety about just like the overall situation. But we're pretty

1058
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:49,840
Speaker 1: good at communicating and like talking it out, like last

1059
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:54,080
Speaker 1: night we talked about just it's so easy to focus.

1060
01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:57,720
Speaker 1: I think the human nature is to focus on ourselves

1061
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:00,400
Speaker 1: and our personal situation of like how am I feeling?

1062
01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:02,240
Speaker 1: Which I think it's great to check in and like

1063
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:07,040
Speaker 1: make sure that you're feeling healthy and like your your

1064
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:09,720
Speaker 1: mental health and your physical health. I think that is

1065
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:14,439
Speaker 1: very necessary. But in the grand scheme of things, being

1066
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:17,720
Speaker 1: bored or wanting to travel and not being able to

1067
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 1: is so minute compared to the overall scenario. So we

1068
01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:26,520
Speaker 1: had this conversation last night, just talking, you know, like

1069
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:31,480
Speaker 1: verbalizing that and that it's important to be aware of

1070
01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:34,480
Speaker 1: our situation and how we're feeling, but also taken to

1071
01:02:34,520 --> 01:02:40,480
Speaker 1: consideration the bigger picture. Um, so we're good. We haven't

1072
01:02:40,520 --> 01:02:43,720
Speaker 1: had any We've had a few like bickering arguments, but

1073
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 1: nothing where one of us slams the door and runs

1074
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:56,920
Speaker 1: out or anything. That's good. Yeah, yeah, what are you

1075
01:02:57,000 --> 01:03:01,840
Speaker 1: laughing at? I mean, it's just it's so it's such

1076
01:03:02,040 --> 01:03:04,520
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just so interesting. It's just like

1077
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:06,880
Speaker 1: I feel like we're all going to look back at

1078
01:03:06,880 --> 01:03:08,520
Speaker 1: this time and just be like, do you remember that

1079
01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:13,959
Speaker 1: time when like everything just shut down? I mean, yeah,

1080
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:20,280
Speaker 1: we're literally kind of in a very historical yeah time

1081
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:25,760
Speaker 1: like this will be written about in history books, you know. Yeah,

1082
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:28,920
Speaker 1: it's really wild, and I almost think something I've been

1083
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:34,040
Speaker 1: thinking to, Like, um, Red Star and I were talking

1084
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:36,800
Speaker 1: over the weekend, and he was saying he was just like,

1085
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:40,240
Speaker 1: you know, it is it is kind of crazy to

1086
01:03:40,360 --> 01:03:42,880
Speaker 1: be like thrown into this situation in a new relationship,

1087
01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:49,120
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because like, yeah, yeah, I

1088
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:51,360
Speaker 1: mean they're like this week we literally just spent like

1089
01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:54,400
Speaker 1: seventy two eight hours together and like that's you know,

1090
01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:58,240
Speaker 1: not normal for a couple. That's like a few months in,

1091
01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:03,880
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Yeah, And normally those seven

1092
01:04:03,920 --> 01:04:06,040
Speaker 1: tiers would be spent like, you know, a weekend in

1093
01:04:06,520 --> 01:04:09,080
Speaker 1: like you know, Santa Barbara or something like that. Like

1094
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:11,840
Speaker 1: it's not gonna be like just stuck in your home

1095
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:17,760
Speaker 1: like with the doors locked. Yeah, with the smell of

1096
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:25,000
Speaker 1: clorox just singing your nose. There lots of clorox of rocks.

1097
01:04:25,040 --> 01:04:28,280
Speaker 1: It's so funny, though, I was interested in what Dr

1098
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:32,200
Speaker 1: Viv was saying about, how are you know we stopped

1099
01:04:32,760 --> 01:04:36,360
Speaker 1: that honeymoon phase or whatever is kind of over it

1100
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:39,480
Speaker 1: and sexually, I guess in eighteen to twenty four months.

1101
01:04:39,640 --> 01:04:43,120
Speaker 1: And it's funny because I remember your long term relationship

1102
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:47,400
Speaker 1: you I remember asking like did it last did that

1103
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:49,800
Speaker 1: feeling of passion last the whole time you alred together?

1104
01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:53,520
Speaker 1: And you said yes. But during that time y'all were

1105
01:04:54,160 --> 01:04:56,240
Speaker 1: most of the time you alre together was a long distance, right,

1106
01:04:57,720 --> 01:05:00,720
Speaker 1: so that it kind of lingered on. But because y'all

1107
01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:03,880
Speaker 1: were so limited on your time together, so it did

1108
01:05:03,960 --> 01:05:06,480
Speaker 1: feel like new every time you got to see you. Yeah. Maybe,

1109
01:05:06,560 --> 01:05:08,800
Speaker 1: I know. I'm so interested in that eighteen to twenty

1110
01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:13,400
Speaker 1: four month thing. I mean, it makes I it makes

1111
01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:15,200
Speaker 1: so much sense. I feel like so many of my

1112
01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:18,919
Speaker 1: friends have been in the two year mark. People are like,

1113
01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:24,160
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is it, because maybe that

1114
01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:26,640
Speaker 1: feeling is just gone, and so they think that because

1115
01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:31,080
Speaker 1: that's gone, that means the relationships not what it was

1116
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:38,480
Speaker 1: or something. Did you find that to be true? Eastern? Um? No,

1117
01:05:38,920 --> 01:05:45,440
Speaker 1: but um really yeah, I don't know. But um, I

1118
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:50,960
Speaker 1: know our our our situation isn't is atypical? Um? I think?

1119
01:05:51,440 --> 01:05:54,800
Speaker 1: Uh so I'm still waiting. You know, we've we've been

1120
01:05:54,840 --> 01:05:58,880
Speaker 1: married now for almost three years, um, and we've we've

1121
01:05:58,920 --> 01:06:04,880
Speaker 1: been together for like oh god five yeah, um, and

1122
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:09,920
Speaker 1: just each you know, I find the passion gets stronger

1123
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:15,160
Speaker 1: by the day. So uh yeah, you know, I'm waiting

1124
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:17,400
Speaker 1: to waiting to hit that that that point because I

1125
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:20,360
Speaker 1: know it's going to come, but um, it hasn't, hasn't it.

1126
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:24,000
Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell you. I know, I

1127
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:27,960
Speaker 1: know you know I'm a I'm a man of intense

1128
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:31,040
Speaker 1: passion and I just want to I just want to

1129
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:34,320
Speaker 1: get that on the record. UM, you know, we we

1130
01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:36,560
Speaker 1: have one email I wanted to get into really quick.

1131
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 1: If you guys are up to it, yeah, this is

1132
01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:42,560
Speaker 1: this is uh from Marissa. She needs some advice and

1133
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:45,280
Speaker 1: I think I think you both are very suited for this.

1134
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:47,600
Speaker 1: I want to find my red star, but it's been

1135
01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:50,320
Speaker 1: so hard. I don't know this happens. I always get

1136
01:06:50,320 --> 01:06:52,720
Speaker 1: super uncomfortable around men who asked me out or like me.

1137
01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:55,280
Speaker 1: I can like someone, but once they find out they

1138
01:06:55,320 --> 01:06:57,280
Speaker 1: like me too, I freak out in a back away

1139
01:06:57,320 --> 01:06:59,600
Speaker 1: big time. I wanted to cry when a nice man

1140
01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:01,920
Speaker 1: bought me lunch at work and sat across from me.

1141
01:07:02,320 --> 01:07:05,280
Speaker 1: I was so uncomfortable. Do you think this calling in

1142
01:07:05,320 --> 01:07:07,000
Speaker 1: the one book will help me and get me out

1143
01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:09,200
Speaker 1: of this hole? I'm twenty eight. I've never had a

1144
01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:11,960
Speaker 1: boyfriend or even a first kiss before. I've never had

1145
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,600
Speaker 1: any traumatizing experiences when I was younger. Either, I don't

1146
01:07:14,640 --> 01:07:16,959
Speaker 1: know why I am this way. I don't have dating apps,

1147
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:19,000
Speaker 1: are online dating? Do you have any advice for me

1148
01:07:19,040 --> 01:07:25,720
Speaker 1: on how we can overcome this? I gotta tell you

1149
01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:30,760
Speaker 1: that Calling in the One Book did some wonders on me.

1150
01:07:33,720 --> 01:07:35,840
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a bad place to start. It's

1151
01:07:35,880 --> 01:07:41,440
Speaker 1: like eleven dollars on Amazon, and it actually really like

1152
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:44,200
Speaker 1: helps to work through things like it made me and

1153
01:07:44,240 --> 01:07:46,520
Speaker 1: I do a lot of self help. It made me

1154
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:51,280
Speaker 1: realize things about myself that I'd never realized before. So

1155
01:07:51,320 --> 01:07:53,880
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a bad place to start. I'm

1156
01:07:53,880 --> 01:07:56,120
Speaker 1: waiting for the day when you say, you know, I

1157
01:07:56,120 --> 01:07:58,360
Speaker 1: don't think it's a good idea you can pass on

1158
01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:00,520
Speaker 1: them like I feel like it. It's probably just a

1159
01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:02,360
Speaker 1: good idea for anyone to do if they're looking to

1160
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:06,080
Speaker 1: get more introspective and um and get to know themselves better,

1161
01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:09,200
Speaker 1: you know, because it's like I think, sometimes you kind

1162
01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:12,000
Speaker 1: of get stuck in your in your dating rut, like

1163
01:08:12,080 --> 01:08:14,480
Speaker 1: you think you're doing everything right and then like it

1164
01:08:14,600 --> 01:08:18,720
Speaker 1: takes an outside like outside source. It's not necessarily a

1165
01:08:18,760 --> 01:08:21,280
Speaker 1: friend or a family like this is literally just like

1166
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:24,320
Speaker 1: a woman a book that note doesn't know you, but

1167
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:26,360
Speaker 1: like she's just kind of telling you what time it is,

1168
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:29,920
Speaker 1: you know, like she's like rip this up, do this,

1169
01:08:30,160 --> 01:08:32,479
Speaker 1: think this like and it just kind of it's like

1170
01:08:32,520 --> 01:08:35,240
Speaker 1: the harsh reality that I think that people need. And

1171
01:08:35,280 --> 01:08:38,080
Speaker 1: then like, I mean, I don't know, it made me

1172
01:08:38,120 --> 01:08:41,639
Speaker 1: realize a ton about myself and then like cut two

1173
01:08:42,600 --> 01:08:47,160
Speaker 1: Red Star came into my life. Yeah, I was gonna say,

1174
01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:50,519
Speaker 1: I feel like more. I mean, obviously finding Red Star

1175
01:08:50,560 --> 01:08:54,040
Speaker 1: was the cherry on top, but I think more than that,

1176
01:08:54,120 --> 01:08:57,639
Speaker 1: what you talked about of how it helped you realize

1177
01:08:57,680 --> 01:09:01,320
Speaker 1: patterns in the way you handled relationship ups are, you know,

1178
01:09:02,040 --> 01:09:04,439
Speaker 1: just how you handle dating in general. I thought that

1179
01:09:04,520 --> 01:09:07,320
Speaker 1: was the most interesting part of the book because I

1180
01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:10,599
Speaker 1: remember thinking, like, even being in a relationship, I think

1181
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:14,479
Speaker 1: it would be beneficial to read. And so I think

1182
01:09:14,520 --> 01:09:17,320
Speaker 1: the thing is that we kind of let the pressure

1183
01:09:17,479 --> 01:09:19,960
Speaker 1: of what everyone is doing around us to get in

1184
01:09:19,960 --> 01:09:23,680
Speaker 1: our heads. And I think not having a boyfriend and

1185
01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:25,840
Speaker 1: being a certain age and not having your first kiss

1186
01:09:25,840 --> 01:09:29,200
Speaker 1: and being a certain age makes you feel like you're

1187
01:09:29,320 --> 01:09:32,280
Speaker 1: not doing something right or that something's wrong with you.

1188
01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:36,120
Speaker 1: But the truth is is that like you're just on

1189
01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:38,920
Speaker 1: your own time, and like you can't get into your

1190
01:09:38,920 --> 01:09:42,920
Speaker 1: head about what society is telling you, what age you're

1191
01:09:42,960 --> 01:09:45,559
Speaker 1: supposed to be, or what your life is supposed to

1192
01:09:45,560 --> 01:09:47,080
Speaker 1: look like at that And I think we let a

1193
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:49,040
Speaker 1: lot of that get into our heads and it becomes

1194
01:09:49,080 --> 01:09:53,120
Speaker 1: almost this weird anxiety that we have when someone sits

1195
01:09:53,120 --> 01:09:56,720
Speaker 1: across from us and buys us lunch and sits down

1196
01:09:56,760 --> 01:10:00,479
Speaker 1: to have a conversation, when that should just be it

1197
01:10:00,520 --> 01:10:03,519
Speaker 1: shouldn't even be something that stresses us out. You know.

1198
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:06,639
Speaker 1: The thing I was kind of like saying with Dr

1199
01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:10,320
Speaker 1: Viv is it's like we You're absolutely right, we like

1200
01:10:10,479 --> 01:10:13,000
Speaker 1: create this idea of what things are supposed to look

1201
01:10:13,040 --> 01:10:15,920
Speaker 1: like in our head, and then the more and more

1202
01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:19,160
Speaker 1: we get on that, the more and more uncomfortable we

1203
01:10:19,160 --> 01:10:21,160
Speaker 1: are with like dating, you know what I mean. Like

1204
01:10:21,200 --> 01:10:23,400
Speaker 1: it's like it's a double edged sword, like it kind

1205
01:10:23,439 --> 01:10:29,480
Speaker 1: of it just counter counter counter counter counter productive counteracts.

1206
01:10:31,520 --> 01:10:34,320
Speaker 1: It's counter productive because it's like you want to find someone,

1207
01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:35,840
Speaker 1: you want to you know, I mean, you want to

1208
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:39,479
Speaker 1: all these things, but then you are thinking about it

1209
01:10:39,560 --> 01:10:43,280
Speaker 1: so much that you're creating this like wall up around yourself,

1210
01:10:43,360 --> 01:10:45,280
Speaker 1: you know. And I think that like I do think

1211
01:10:45,320 --> 01:10:48,439
Speaker 1: it was coincidental timing that Red Star came into my

1212
01:10:48,479 --> 01:10:52,000
Speaker 1: life when he did, like this finishing the workbook, because

1213
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:53,240
Speaker 1: it could have been a year from now, it could

1214
01:10:53,240 --> 01:10:55,720
Speaker 1: have been two years from now, who know, you know

1215
01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:57,559
Speaker 1: what I mean, I think that was like coincidental. I

1216
01:10:57,560 --> 01:11:00,080
Speaker 1: think the book really does just kind of put you

1217
01:11:00,240 --> 01:11:04,120
Speaker 1: that mind, that mind frame of like stripping things back,

1218
01:11:04,240 --> 01:11:07,720
Speaker 1: stripping things away, and just like really being aware of

1219
01:11:07,760 --> 01:11:09,720
Speaker 1: yourself and what you want and where you want to go.

1220
01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:16,160
Speaker 1: And I also think too that I also think too

1221
01:11:16,280 --> 01:11:20,439
Speaker 1: that things are gonna don't always turn out the way

1222
01:11:20,439 --> 01:11:22,519
Speaker 1: that you envision them in your head. I can assure

1223
01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:26,679
Speaker 1: you that, uh, re Becca, I think you can echo

1224
01:11:26,720 --> 01:11:33,080
Speaker 1: my sentiment that like, yeah, I mean, things don't we

1225
01:11:33,200 --> 01:11:38,840
Speaker 1: have we from the time we are little and we

1226
01:11:38,960 --> 01:11:43,240
Speaker 1: watch our first romantic movie, we have an idea of

1227
01:11:43,240 --> 01:11:46,880
Speaker 1: what our lives are supposed to look like, and all

1228
01:11:46,880 --> 01:11:49,599
Speaker 1: of a sudden we realize that maybe maybe we're not

1229
01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:53,599
Speaker 1: that main character in the movie, or maybe it doesn't

1230
01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:57,160
Speaker 1: look the same for us, or maybe our families different

1231
01:11:57,240 --> 01:11:59,080
Speaker 1: than what their family looks like in the movie. And

1232
01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:03,120
Speaker 1: I think the reality is that we're we're created to

1233
01:12:03,200 --> 01:12:06,600
Speaker 1: make expectations for ourselves, and if we don't make those expectations,

1234
01:12:06,640 --> 01:12:09,960
Speaker 1: we feel like we've failed or disappointed. But the truth

1235
01:12:10,080 --> 01:12:13,559
Speaker 1: is is that you adjust to what works for your life,

1236
01:12:14,120 --> 01:12:18,240
Speaker 1: and I think practicing the things that make you uncomfortable,

1237
01:12:18,360 --> 01:12:22,080
Speaker 1: like make conversation. If you see a guy that you

1238
01:12:22,080 --> 01:12:24,920
Speaker 1: think is cute, even if you're like, I'm not I'm

1239
01:12:24,960 --> 01:12:26,559
Speaker 1: not going to marry this guy. But if you're like,

1240
01:12:26,880 --> 01:12:29,479
Speaker 1: I find that guy cute and he seems like charming

1241
01:12:29,520 --> 01:12:31,599
Speaker 1: and nice, like you hear him talking to someone else,

1242
01:12:31,960 --> 01:12:34,919
Speaker 1: maybe approach him and start a conversation and challenge yourself

1243
01:12:35,240 --> 01:12:39,920
Speaker 1: to make normal every day. You know, conversations with people

1244
01:12:40,520 --> 01:12:45,000
Speaker 1: feel comfortable for you, because sometimes you have to practice

1245
01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:48,960
Speaker 1: getting uncomfortable to eventually feel comfortable in certain situations. So

1246
01:12:49,040 --> 01:12:52,160
Speaker 1: I think from what I've heard Tanya say that book

1247
01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:54,800
Speaker 1: is a great way to start. But also you can't

1248
01:12:54,840 --> 01:12:57,200
Speaker 1: just sit alone in your house reading the book and

1249
01:12:57,240 --> 01:12:59,920
Speaker 1: doing those practices. You have to put things into action

1250
01:13:00,040 --> 01:13:05,000
Speaker 1: and give out there. You have to try, you have

1251
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:08,120
Speaker 1: to fall, you have to get back up, you have

1252
01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:11,120
Speaker 1: to try again. Sometimes you have to try for quite

1253
01:13:11,240 --> 01:13:15,040
Speaker 1: some years, to be honest, But guess what, it all

1254
01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:21,040
Speaker 1: works out that it's supposed to. I can assure you that, yes,

1255
01:13:21,240 --> 01:13:24,120
Speaker 1: it'll all work out. Um, I know we have to

1256
01:13:24,160 --> 01:13:25,840
Speaker 1: wrap it up here. I just have I have a

1257
01:13:25,920 --> 01:13:28,160
Speaker 1: three very small and quick pieces of business we have.

1258
01:13:28,240 --> 01:13:30,679
Speaker 1: We have another email from Jen. She wants to help

1259
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:33,559
Speaker 1: to convince her husband and name her child Easton. It's

1260
01:13:33,600 --> 01:13:35,920
Speaker 1: the best name that's ever been invented. I've had a

1261
01:13:35,960 --> 01:13:37,400
Speaker 1: lot of good luck with it. Jen. If you want

1262
01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:39,639
Speaker 1: to d m me on Instagram, will send you a

1263
01:13:39,680 --> 01:13:41,680
Speaker 1: power point you can give it to him. I've got

1264
01:13:41,680 --> 01:13:43,840
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of points there. I'm being

1265
01:13:43,840 --> 01:13:46,960
Speaker 1: dead serious about that. Also, UM, Mark's not with us

1266
01:13:46,960 --> 01:13:49,000
Speaker 1: because it's his daughter Ali's birthday. I want to wish

1267
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:53,719
Speaker 1: Alie a happy birthday. Um, happy birthday all rithday Alle.

1268
01:13:53,720 --> 01:13:55,240
Speaker 1: I don't know if you'll listen to this, but your

1269
01:13:55,320 --> 01:13:58,559
Speaker 1: dad's gonna have to um and uh. Then and last,

1270
01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:01,519
Speaker 1: but not least, our dear friend Crystal is celebrating birthday

1271
01:14:01,520 --> 01:14:04,559
Speaker 1: this week. We love Crystal so much and I hope

1272
01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:06,040
Speaker 1: she has the best day ever. Just want to make

1273
01:14:06,080 --> 01:14:08,880
Speaker 1: sure we wish your happy birthday on here. Oh we

1274
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:12,559
Speaker 1: love Crystal so much, Crystal. I hope that you're having

1275
01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:17,360
Speaker 1: the most amazing birthday in the quarantine times. And I

1276
01:14:17,400 --> 01:14:19,760
Speaker 1: can't wait to hug you again at our next meet

1277
01:14:19,840 --> 01:14:22,440
Speaker 1: up or event where I get to see your beautiful

1278
01:14:22,720 --> 01:14:25,880
Speaker 1: smiling face. I love you so much. I hope you

1279
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:31,000
Speaker 1: have the best birthday. Not only birthday, I hope that

1280
01:14:31,080 --> 01:14:34,840
Speaker 1: this year is truly the best year of your life.

1281
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:39,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna speak that out. I'm gonna speak

1282
01:14:39,040 --> 01:14:40,800
Speaker 1: that out for you right now, right here, right now,

1283
01:14:42,320 --> 01:14:44,920
Speaker 1: crystally make everyone's live around you so much better. You're

1284
01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:47,160
Speaker 1: such a light. Uh. And you've been such a great

1285
01:14:47,160 --> 01:14:50,719
Speaker 1: friend to Alison and I over the last year or so.

1286
01:14:50,840 --> 01:14:52,479
Speaker 1: Um and just I hope you have the best day ever.

1287
01:14:52,560 --> 01:14:55,799
Speaker 1: Everyone loves you. Everyone loves you. Uh. And then also,

1288
01:14:56,240 --> 01:14:59,480
Speaker 1: if you guys want some scrubbing and merch, it's still available.

1289
01:15:00,439 --> 01:15:02,760
Speaker 1: You just gotta go to my fan threads dot com

1290
01:15:02,760 --> 01:15:04,719
Speaker 1: slash scrubbing in. There will be a link in the

1291
01:15:04,840 --> 01:15:07,639
Speaker 1: episode description to this. A portion of all the merch

1292
01:15:07,720 --> 01:15:10,360
Speaker 1: sold will be going to l a U. S D

1293
01:15:10,479 --> 01:15:13,160
Speaker 1: to help those in need. And this merch kicks ass.

1294
01:15:13,240 --> 01:15:16,840
Speaker 1: You gotta get some if you don't already. It the

1295
01:15:17,160 --> 01:15:20,519
Speaker 1: pink crop sweater with the scrubbing in down the sleeve

1296
01:15:20,680 --> 01:15:25,120
Speaker 1: is the coziest maybe the coziest piece of clothing I have. Um,

1297
01:15:25,200 --> 01:15:28,960
Speaker 1: not a lot, because you have blanket pants, I know,

1298
01:15:29,200 --> 01:15:32,400
Speaker 1: but it's it's like the perfect It's soft and it's

1299
01:15:32,479 --> 01:15:35,760
Speaker 1: so soft, but it's not too thick and it's like breathable.

1300
01:15:36,200 --> 01:15:37,719
Speaker 1: And I know a lot of people were talking about

1301
01:15:37,720 --> 01:15:42,240
Speaker 1: the crops being a problem, but I will say I uh,

1302
01:15:42,280 --> 01:15:44,559
Speaker 1: and I wear a crop tops, so maybe my opinion

1303
01:15:44,560 --> 01:15:46,639
Speaker 1: means nothing. But I do feel like if you want

1304
01:15:46,640 --> 01:15:50,000
Speaker 1: to size up it will it will be what you

1305
01:15:50,040 --> 01:15:53,280
Speaker 1: want it to be. Um, So go check out the merch.

1306
01:15:54,200 --> 01:15:57,760
Speaker 1: I feel like it's a limited time if you want

1307
01:15:57,760 --> 01:16:00,240
Speaker 1: to be a part of the of the squaw to

1308
01:16:00,280 --> 01:16:04,000
Speaker 1: wearing the merch, Now is the time and it's going

1309
01:16:04,040 --> 01:16:07,599
Speaker 1: to it's going it's being donated to help people, So

1310
01:16:07,760 --> 01:16:12,840
Speaker 1: it's it's really the best time to do it. Um

1311
01:16:12,920 --> 01:16:16,519
Speaker 1: that they get on there, get that merch. Um, all right, ladies,

1312
01:16:18,200 --> 01:16:22,400
Speaker 1: shall we shall we close it out? Yeah we have

1313
01:16:22,600 --> 01:16:25,600
Speaker 1: it's time to say goodbye. But before we go, I

1314
01:16:25,640 --> 01:16:32,519
Speaker 1: like the idea of next week doing it drunk. The

1315
01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:37,200
Speaker 1: three of us with the Truth or Drink episode gets

1316
01:16:37,240 --> 01:16:39,800
Speaker 1: really fun when should we do it? Like I don't know,

1317
01:16:39,960 --> 01:16:43,880
Speaker 1: Like I feel like we should figure something out. Okay,

1318
01:16:43,920 --> 01:16:46,040
Speaker 1: we'll talk about it, even if we just have a

1319
01:16:46,200 --> 01:16:49,880
Speaker 1: cocktail while we record right right, like happy hour, like

1320
01:16:49,920 --> 01:16:53,720
Speaker 1: we call it happy hour and scrubbing and listeners can

1321
01:16:54,280 --> 01:16:55,960
Speaker 1: I don't know how it can be involved, but maybe

1322
01:16:55,960 --> 01:16:58,960
Speaker 1: we can figure out a way how to involve them.

1323
01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:01,760
Speaker 1: Maybe we make to the same drink and then we

1324
01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:06,719
Speaker 1: say that they have to Yeah, this is the drink

1325
01:17:06,800 --> 01:17:11,320
Speaker 1: of the week and they have all the ingredients to

1326
01:17:11,400 --> 01:17:17,680
Speaker 1: make the drink of the week. Um yeah, So be

1327
01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:20,200
Speaker 1: on the lookout all you aspiring mixologists out there. We're

1328
01:17:20,200 --> 01:17:24,480
Speaker 1: gonna have a drink of the week for you. Um

1329
01:17:24,520 --> 01:17:27,000
Speaker 1: all right, we love you guys, thanks for listening. Hope

1330
01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:29,720
Speaker 1: you're all doing okay. We're thinking about you and we

1331
01:17:29,840 --> 01:17:31,000
Speaker 1: love you. Love you.