WEBVTT - Unstoppable 0:00:03.760 --> 0:00:08.000 Losing, my mom's sexual abuse, my divorce, so many things. 0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:11.920 I talked about the divorce. I talk about the separation, 0:00:11.960 --> 0:00:17.560 what happened, why it happened. This book is not just 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:21.320 about talking about others and clarifying things. It's also about 0:00:21.800 --> 0:00:29.000 how I have grown. Writing helps me just I don't know, heal. 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:31.000 You know, it's a form of therapy. I've said it 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:40.600 so many times. What up, guys, and welcome to another 0:00:40.640 --> 0:00:43.880 episode of cheek Ease and Chill. I am your host, 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:46.760 check eas and today is a really exciting episode for me. 0:00:47.080 --> 0:00:49.159 It's going to be all about my new book. It's 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:53.400 called Unstoppable Invincible in Spanish. It's how I found my 0:00:53.479 --> 0:00:57.160 strength through love and loss. We have tons to cover today, 0:00:57.200 --> 0:01:05.360 so without further ado, let's get into cheek Ease and Chill. Alrighty, guys, 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:09.760 let's talk about Unstoppable. This is actually the second memoir 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:13.320 I've written. It follows my first book, Forgiveness, which is 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:17.360 about my journey to forgiveness after suffering sexual abuse at 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:21.720 the hands of my father. Also, it touches on things 0:01:21.720 --> 0:01:24.120 that happened after my mom's passing, people that I had 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:26.000 to forgive. I had to forgive myself as well. I 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:30.680 had to ask for forgiveness. So basically, Unstoppable starts where 0:01:30.720 --> 0:01:35.880 forgiveness ended. And now Unstoppable will be available for purchase 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:40.080 starting tomorrow, you guys, February eight. It's about how I 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:43.520 found my strength through love and loss, how you find 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:46.440 love and then you lose it, And not only that, 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:50.279 but also my strength after my mom's passing and everything 0:01:50.280 --> 0:01:54.000 that's happened throughout these years since her passing, and not 0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:56.680 only loss of a relationship and loss of my mother, 0:01:56.760 --> 0:02:00.240 but loss of a few Flammy members. So the book 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:03.600 covers a little bit of everything, even certain things and 0:02:03.640 --> 0:02:07.080 She's miss that aren't necessarily true, and I wanted to 0:02:07.120 --> 0:02:09.960 clear up in this book all to help inspire and 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:14.080 empower others to hopefully not make the same mistakes I've made, 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:17.200 and to learn from my mistakes more than anything. So 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:20.000 that's what Unstoppable is all about, you guys. But before 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:22.720 I get into some of the book's takeaways, I want 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:24.840 to take a moment to set the stage a little bit. 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:28.400 I started writing this book almost three years ago. I 0:02:28.440 --> 0:02:30.560 always knew I wanted to write a second book, and 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:32.760 a third book and a fourth book. I've had this 0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:36.639 dream of being an author because writing helps me just 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:39.560 I don't know, heal. You know, it's a form of therapy. 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:41.880 I've said it so many times that in music are 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:45.240 just a way of expressing, and it helps me deal 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:47.720 with everything that I'm going through, you know. So I 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:49.600 think writing it on a sheet of paper and being 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:52.720 able to just let it stay there and close the 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:55.519 book and just move on has been a way of 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:58.280 getting through everything I've been through. I think a lot 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:00.800 of people think, Okay, this book is about her divorce, 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:02.880 and that's what she decided to write a book that's 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:05.960 absolutely fault you guys. I started writing this book and 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:09.840 was negotiating everything while him and I actually even before 0:03:09.840 --> 0:03:12.320 we got married, to be honest, we started negotiating, and 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:14.880 then while him and I after we got we got married, 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:18.240 then I started writing the book. And the thing is 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:20.520 I was supposed to be done with this book a 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:25.480 long time ago, but so many things happened throughout these 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:29.480 years that I would just be honestly too sad to write, 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:31.840 and then I wanted to write, and I would write 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:33.480 too much, and I'm like, okay, wait, I have to 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:36.720 just really reread this and and stay with this and 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:41.080 really talk about or think about msbian what I really 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:45.160 want to express. Before it was called Unstoppable, it was 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:48.560 gonna be hashtag how to be a Boss B so 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:52.040 it was so different. We had two other titles for 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:54.080 the book as well, and then it became Unstoppable. So 0:03:54.120 --> 0:03:57.960 it's been a journey. This book has really helped me 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:03.280 just cleanse my soul, bring peace to my life. And 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:06.240 even though the title has changed, and maybe even the concept, 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:08.680 the like full on concept of the book has changed 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:12.760 a little bit, it all was always meant to inspire 0:04:12.800 --> 0:04:17.040 and empower because since Forgiveness, so much has happened. I 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:20.039 have really stepped into my own I have matured, I 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:24.960 have become a different woman. And now Johnny's older and 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:27.440 so much has happened even with him. So I explain 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:31.480 a little bit about everything literally what has happened since 0:04:31.920 --> 0:04:35.680 my book Forgiveness till now. And I think there's gonna 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:38.520 be more books because that's just how life works. I 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:40.600 want to write and I want to help and this 0:04:40.640 --> 0:04:44.280 is my way of doing so. Also, why Unstoppable, I 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:46.640 actually want to talk about the title because you know, 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:50.040 you hear and stop when you're like and it's not that. 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:53.240 It's actually all the things that were meant to stop me, 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:55.800 that were meant to drop me to my knees to 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:58.000 the point where I was never supposed to get back 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:03.599 up actually help me become stronger and keep going. And 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:06.200 you're gonna be able to learn what my quote unquote 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:08.280 secret is, which isn't really a secret because I shared 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:10.960 kind of every single day on social media, which is 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:14.880 my belief in God and the faith that I have 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:18.279 and my spirituality, how important it is to me. So 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:20.000 in a lot of interviews they asked me, what's your 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:22.840 secret checks and I'm like, well, this has been my secret, 0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:29.239 like really just learning to embrace the pain and knowing 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:32.080 that through these things that I have had to face, 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:34.680 through this pain, I'm going to come out on the 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:38.320 other side stronger, and that's what his Honestly, it's made 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:41.800 me feel unstoppable to the point where it's like I've 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:45.080 been through some crazy shit, you guys, some crazy ash 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:49.839 it losing my mom's sexual abuse, my divorce, so many 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:55.080 things and public scrutiny, and I'm still here and I 0:05:55.160 --> 0:06:00.080 still manage to come out with a smile and not 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:03.599 be bitter because I feel like when you've gone through 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:06.400 so much. If you're not intentional in keeping your eye 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:09.039 and your faith in God or whatever it is that 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:12.760 you believe in, you become bitter little by little, like 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:16.600 your essence, that true essence of you, starts fading away. 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:18.920 And I have always been so intentional of like, Okay, 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:21.600 I'm not gonna be bitter. I'm not gonna be Yes, 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:23.080 has happened to me, but it's not gonna be like 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:25.640 why does this always happen to me? Oh my goodness, why? Why? Why? No? 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:29.679 I that I need to just shake it off and say, Okay, 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:33.159 what in am I going to learn from this situation? 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:37.080 This thing is not going to defeat me. I challenge 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:39.479 myself to be even better than I was before I 0:06:39.480 --> 0:06:42.360 went through this. And it's been a game changer, you guys, 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:44.120 which is why I'm like, I want to name it 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:47.320 unstoppable and in Spanish in ben sile because I have 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:50.840 felt in a way like protected by this crazy force 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:54.120 that I like to call God, because I put him first. 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:57.239 And you're going to learn about this in my book. 0:06:57.320 --> 0:06:59.920 Faith and spirituality is a huge thing in the book. 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:03.040 That's one of the takeaways. It's key. It's number one 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:06.320 in my life. I don't like to try to see 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:08.920 how I can fit in my spirituality or God in 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:12.880 my schedule. No, everything else works around my spirituality. Everything 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:15.560 else works around God. It's God is in the center, 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:19.560 and then everything else comes secondary everything everything. Once you 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:22.520 learn that, guys, it changes your life when you put 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:25.720 God before your significant other, before your children, before yourself, 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:28.360 and then yourself comes and then your children and then 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:31.720 your your significant other or however. But for me, it's God, 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:34.920 then myself. Then everything comes after. Because if I'm not 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:37.200 okay and I'm not okay with God, then I'm not 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:39.480 gonna be able to be okay to do what I 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:43.080 do and write my books and be inspirational Instagram and 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:45.240 all these things that I do and get on stage. 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:47.280 All of that is super important. So that's one of 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:49.520 the takeaways, okay from this book, you guys, Faith and 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:55.200 spirituality key. Another takeaway is my struggles, the struggles with 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:59.680 media and paparazzi and how that can really affect you 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:03.760 as a human being. You also learned in this book 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:05.760 that that has a lot to do with why I 0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:08.600 moved and I felt that I needed to be somewhere 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:13.240 a little safer, where I could feel safe driving into 0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:15.960 my driveway and not having to worry about someone following me. 0:08:16.480 --> 0:08:18.480 And it was a big decision because I really thought 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:20.160 that the first home I had bought and I was 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:21.559 going to be there for the rest of my life, 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:24.000 and I had invested so much in it, and you 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:25.600 guys are gonna be able to learn as to what 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:28.400 happened and why and what really drove me to say, 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:31.400 this is it. I have to move. I felt that 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:34.440 talking about the struggles that I've had to face with 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:38.160 the media and paparazzi were necessary because sometimes, well a 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:41.560 lot of times, they say things that are cruel, things 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:45.679 that are not true, and you have a huge responsibility 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:48.960 when you have access to a microphone, when you have 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:54.280 access to being on television, that's a huge responsibility. And 0:08:54.320 --> 0:08:56.240 I feel like you have to be really careful with 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:58.720 the things that you say about people's lives because you 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:01.160 can really hurt them, and that only that exposed them 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:03.640 to other people hurting them. And I just felt like, 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:05.320 this is something that I've had to deal with for 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:09.679 a very long time, and it's not necessarily fair. I mean, 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:12.040 so many people are like, Okay, well, you know, this 0:09:12.080 --> 0:09:14.560 is the life you decided to to have you know, 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:17.240 you wanted to be famous, And I'm like, no, that 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:19.160 that doesn't make it right though. That doesn't make it 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:21.760 okay for you to say what you want and try 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:27.040 to cause me harm, not only emotionally but potentially physically, 0:09:27.080 --> 0:09:30.000 because what you're saying is not true. And what if 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:32.920 someone thinks it like the whole thing with with my mom, 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:37.359 you know, the whole situation that was horrible back in 0:09:38.200 --> 0:09:39.920 where it's like they say things and I'm like, wait 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:41.960 a second, get the full story and get both sides 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:43.360 of the story if you're going to tell a story, 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:45.720 first of all, because that was scary. It was a 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:48.560 scary time for me. And for instance, one of the 0:09:48.600 --> 0:09:51.040 things that they said recently and that I talked about 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:54.400 in the book is is me being unfaithful trying to 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:58.320 you know? And I said absolutely not. I'm not going 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:01.920 to allow anyone, especially if it's not true, to say 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:03.680 that I was being unfaithful and that that's why I 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:05.800 decided to get separated. I was like, oh, hell no. 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:08.240 So I talked about that in the book because there's 0:10:08.280 --> 0:10:14.440 a situation that happened in October after my separation with 0:10:14.720 --> 0:10:18.720 my ex that happened and someone came into my life, 0:10:18.800 --> 0:10:21.800 and I don't want to name him because anyways, that's 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:23.240 a whole other story. But I talked about it in 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:25.280 the book because I'm like, wait a second, now, I'm 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:28.000 not I was not unfaithful. If anything, I was very faithful, 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:31.640 and if there was any signs or any doubts or 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:35.280 concerns of infidelity, it for sure was not from my side. 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:36.920 So I talked about all of that in the book. 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:39.120 So I thought it was necessary to talk about all 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:42.199 these things with the media because it sucks, dude. I mean, 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:44.800 they have a great exposure, and yes, it's their job 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:46.839 and this and that, but it's like, really, you can 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:50.160 give your story with leaving certain comments out that aren't 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:53.080 going to affect the person and their image that they've 0:10:53.080 --> 0:10:56.560 worked so hard for. So it's just something that has 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:58.760 been a huge part of my life since I can remember. 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:01.520 The media, and like, I'm grateful for them because of 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:04.120 course they have covered a lot of my things, a 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:05.920 lot of what I do, and I'm grateful for them, 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:08.280 but also they hurt my feelings. You know. I feel 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:10.240 like I have been there and I've given you guys 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:11.920 interviews and I've done this, and I've done that, and 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:14.760 I've been available and then you just get a slap 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:16.800 in the face one day and you're like, what, but 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:19.480 I've been so cool, Like it's just they're so quick 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:22.040 to turn on you, and it's just it's so freaking 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:25.240 sad and it's not okay that, oh, just because you 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:27.920 decided to be famous gives you the right to talk 0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:31.400 about this or put my address on national television. That's 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:33.920 freaking absurd, Like, it's it's crazy, you guys. So I 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:36.280 talked about that. Sorry, I just get really passionate about 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:39.079 this subject. But you guys will be able to understand 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:40.960 a little bit more about that and what we've had 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:43.560 to face and not only me, but a lot of 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:46.080 my friends in the industry, a lot of other artists 0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:48.360 that I speak to, and how hard it is for us. 0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:51.520 So hopefully you guys can read it and understand a 0:11:51.559 --> 0:12:00.760 little bit more about that for sure. Yeah. Another takeaway 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:05.080 is my divorce. Yes, guys, again, I was writing this 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:08.040 book before the divorce happened. Okay, that is something I've 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:12.200 been wanting to clear up from like forever um And well, 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:15.319 while I was writing the book, this happened. We got separated, 0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:18.560 and to be honest, we're not even divorced yet. I 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:22.240 talked about it in the book as well. But the 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:24.559 reason I'm not divorced, you guys, just I wanted to 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:27.199 clear that up here. I've heard so many different things, 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:33.520 but it's not because I'm asking for anything that isn't 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:36.800 the process. Isn't part of the process of a divorce. 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:39.760 Some people have taken out of context, like I'm trying 0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:41.800 to get into his finances and all this of it. 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:43.640 It's not like that, you guys. Anyone that has gotten 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:46.040 divorce knows that it is part of the process. You 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:49.040 have to show your finances while you were married. I did. 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:53.360 He has not been compliant, so I'm waiting. I had 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:56.120 to set a court date. They gave me the court 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:59.760 date actually for January nineteenth. They canceled that and moved 0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:02.040 it all the way till April of this year, you guys. 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:04.480 I cried that day. I was like, dude, one is 0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:08.000 this going to be over? I want to be completely free, 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:10.160 and I want him to be free, and I want 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.360 him to live his life and I just want to 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:14.320 really close that chapter in my life and just be 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:18.360 done with it. Divorce is hard. Whether you're famous or not. 0:13:18.480 --> 0:13:23.280 It's just a very difficult, long, sad process, like you 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:26.080 have to go through a divorce, especially in California at 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:30.160 least six months, no less. So during that time, it's 0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:35.079 just so much back and forth. It's so emotionally draining. 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:38.560 And in my position, I am a public figure and 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:41.400 so is he. And again, our relationship was so public 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:44.160 that it was a first relationship I had really had 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:48.040 really been public about. My relationship with Angel was very private. 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:50.439 He was a very private and reserved person. He's a 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:53.359 little bit more out there now, but in his relationship 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:56.360 he's just likes to keep it that way. And when 0:13:56.400 --> 0:13:59.120 I was with my ex husband, I don't know, we 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:01.520 were both public figures, and it just I don't know. 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:03.840 I think we were one of the first to be honest, 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:07.160 if not the first to really come out and be 0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:09.840 on social media and share our relationship, and it were 0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:12.679 so many people were drawn to us, and I felt 0:14:12.679 --> 0:14:14.839 like it wasn't like I was just in a relationship 0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:18.520 with him. It became I'm in a relationship with him, 0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:21.800 with his family and with all of our fans put together, 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:24.840 So it was there was a lot of pressure. So 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:28.000 when we got separated. Of course it was scary, but 0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:30.840 a lot of people didn't know in reality, what was 0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:35.040 really happening behind closed doors, behind the cameras, behind social media, 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:37.600 as it should be. You know, that's our private life. 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:40.000 But when we decided to get separated and I tried 0:14:40.000 --> 0:14:42.800 to be very respectful about it and did a post 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:44.280 and it was very nice and said, you know that 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:47.800 this is what's happening, it became this fiasco and this 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:51.280 whole thing. And then when he came out and started 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:55.360 giving interviews and saying things that weren't true, that's when 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:58.320 I was like, oh, wait a second, hold on, you 0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:01.400 are not about to try to turn this on me 0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:04.040 and make it seem like all of this is my 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:06.880 fault because I'm not perfect and I could have done 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:11.040 things a little different. But ninety eight per cent of 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:14.080 the reason that we're not together is because of your 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:17.480 actions and you're out there trying to do interviews. Uh, 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:21.000 which is probably why now I've decided to go more 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:25.640 private with my relationships again, because it's too much. Guys. 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:28.360 It's like, of course I would love to share this 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:30.840 and share that, but I'm like, wait a second, this relationship, 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:32.720 my relationships from here and now I want them to 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:35.840 be a little bit more sacred. A relationship is already difficult. 0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:37.920 It could be difficult. It doesn't have to be difficult, 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:39.360 but it has its things, you know what I mean. 0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:42.080 And I just don't need other people to make it 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:45.000 difficult and their opinions and their judgments, you know. So 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:47.680 I don't share that much anymore. Because of that situation, 0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:50.080 I kind of left a sour taste in my mouth 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:52.800 because it was way too public. It was crazy. It 0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:58.800 was like literally La Novella cheek. It was just too much. 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:01.640 I was just like it was. It was devastating because 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:04.240 at that time I was still in love with him 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:07.200 and I was going through my healing process, and it 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:09.720 was hurting me that we had to come to this 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:11.760 decision or I had to come to this decision of 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:15.000 separating also having to deal with my pain and deal 0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:16.920 with all these things that were being set on social 0:16:16.920 --> 0:16:21.560 media that he was enticing by doing interviews and saying 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:25.240 things that weren't necessarily true or giving half truths, or 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:29.320 going around the bush and not answering the answer correctly 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:33.280 or with the truth. Really just kept like left things 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:36.800 in the air, and doubts started coming out, and that's 0:16:36.840 --> 0:16:38.280 where I was like, oh, wait a second, this is 0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:40.720 too much. But I decided to stay quiet, and I 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:44.960 decided to just put my heart first and heal that 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:48.600 and really deal with my heart and right. And that's 0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:51.120 but it was hard, guys, having to stay quiet for 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:54.080 so long. It was really hard because I never wanted 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:59.960 to affect him. I never wanted to say certain things 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:02.480 to make him look bad. I wanted him to have 0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:05.520 the opportunity to go after his dreams, to do what 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:07.679 he wanted to do. And I didn't want to be 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:10.359 a reason for someone to say, oh, he didn't make 0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:12.400 it or he wasn't able to do this or accomplish 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:16.520 this because you affected him his image. So I, even 0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:19.640 through my pain, thought about him. But now it's gotten 0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:21.639 to a point where this is part of my story. 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:23.840 This book is part of my story, and what I 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:25.920 write in it is part of what has happened. And 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:29.199 I am here to inspire and empower and help others 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:31.680 and the only way I can do that is by 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:35.400 being truthful. But going back to the book, I talked 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:37.680 about the divorce. I talked about the separation, what happened, 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:42.560 why it happened, how our relationship started, everything that happened 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:44.959 throughout the time. Why why do I talk about it? 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:48.879 Because my relationship was so public. I shared it. It 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:51.360 was on my reality show, him and I on our 0:17:51.640 --> 0:17:53.760 social media as we taught we were just a very 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:57.960 public relationship, a very public couple, and a lot of 0:17:58.000 --> 0:18:01.800 things were said. Here's the thing. If you stay quiet 0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:05.879 and not talk about things that you don't really need 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:08.240 to talk about in public, then I don't have the 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:13.560 need to come out and express and also no necessary 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:18.359 or defend my name. But I have the right to 0:18:18.480 --> 0:18:21.720 come out and speak my truth because I've worked really 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:24.560 hard to get to this point. I have worked really 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:29.960 hard to get that stigma of all these labels and 0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:33.000 things that people have tried to put on me since 0:18:33.480 --> 0:18:36.080 the issue with my mom happened. That I'm like, wait 0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:39.159 a second, No, it has been fucking hard, you guys, 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:41.080 to get to this point, and I'm not gonna let 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:44.280 anybody just come And there's certain things again, and I 0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:46.400 can't go after everyone that talks trap about me, but 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:52.840 there are certain things that I'm just like, wait, Aristos, 0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:54.919 and I decided to do it in a book, to 0:18:54.920 --> 0:18:58.600 write it because there aren't any interruptions. There isn't that 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:02.360 worry about then editing something in their own way. This 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:06.160 is my way of healing, of again, writing it down, 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:09.520 expressing it and letting it go, closing that book, that 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:12.360 chapter of my life, and letting it go. And that's 0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:14.159 why I decided to talk about it here. And I 0:19:14.200 --> 0:19:17.000 wanted to be in detail. I wanted to explain even 0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:19.800 where I went wrong. There's two sides, guys. So I 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:22.560 also did certain things that I'm not very proud of. 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:24.959 I will go into this a little more in detail 0:19:25.000 --> 0:19:28.200 in the book. But this book is not just about 0:19:28.280 --> 0:19:32.320 talking about others and clarifying things. It's also about how 0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:36.280 I have grown, how I have matured, what I have learned, 0:19:36.359 --> 0:19:40.800 especially in my relationship you know um or my relationship now, 0:19:40.840 --> 0:19:44.240 but in my relationship then, what I learned and what 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:48.359 I could have done differently maybe you know, for instance, 0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:52.760 I mean when things got a little heated, I was 0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:59.919 one to defend myself, even if that meant physically I 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:02.119 and I'll talk about that in the book, and you 0:20:02.160 --> 0:20:04.360 guys will understand that a little more once you read 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:08.520 it and what happened. And I've told myself I don't 0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:10.720 want to be in that type of relationship. I should 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:13.000 not have to get to that point. Anybody that brings 0:20:13.040 --> 0:20:15.879 that side out of me probably shouldn't be in my life. 0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:18.680 So I'm not very proud of that, you know, having 0:20:18.720 --> 0:20:22.120 to get physical in a relationship, or even not only physical, 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:26.239 but also say things that are not nice, and so 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:30.200 I talk about that. I also talk about other things 0:20:30.240 --> 0:20:32.480 that I feel I did I could have done differently. 0:20:32.600 --> 0:20:38.399 Is is my way of expressing my insecurities. That's a 0:20:38.480 --> 0:20:41.919 huge one, guys. Some sometimes we feel insecure about something 0:20:42.119 --> 0:20:46.360 and then we lash out at the person because we're 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:49.000 insecure about it. So I know this sounds very vague, 0:20:49.040 --> 0:20:51.320 but I just don't want to say too much because 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:53.199 I want you guys to read the book. But I 0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:55.760 do talk about things that I could have done different 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:59.680 that I'm doing different now in my present relationship, and 0:20:59.800 --> 0:21:03.240 it's made a huge difference, you guys, When you make 0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:05.400 small changes and when you both are on the same 0:21:05.400 --> 0:21:09.560 page and you're very vocal and you communicate from the 0:21:09.640 --> 0:21:13.040 very beginning what you expect from your partner and also 0:21:13.080 --> 0:21:14.919 listen to them as to what they expect and what 0:21:14.960 --> 0:21:17.119 they like and don't like, it makes a huge difference, 0:21:17.160 --> 0:21:26.760