Speaker 1: Losing, my mom's sexual abuse, my divorce, so many things.
Speaker 1: I talked about the divorce. I talk about the separation,
Speaker 1: what happened, why it happened. This book is not just
Speaker 1: about talking about others and clarifying things. It's also about
Speaker 1: how I have grown. Writing helps me just I don't know, heal.
Speaker 1: You know, it's a form of therapy. I've said it
Speaker 1: so many times. What up, guys, and welcome to another
Speaker 1: episode of cheek Ease and Chill. I am your host,
Speaker 1: check eas and today is a really exciting episode for me.
Speaker 1: It's going to be all about my new book. It's
Speaker 1: called Unstoppable Invincible in Spanish. It's how I found my
Speaker 1: strength through love and loss. We have tons to cover today,
Speaker 1: so without further ado, let's get into cheek Ease and Chill. Alrighty, guys,
Speaker 1: let's talk about Unstoppable. This is actually the second memoir
Speaker 1: I've written. It follows my first book, Forgiveness, which is
Speaker 1: about my journey to forgiveness after suffering sexual abuse at
Speaker 1: the hands of my father. Also, it touches on things
Speaker 1: that happened after my mom's passing, people that I had
Speaker 1: to forgive. I had to forgive myself as well. I
Speaker 1: had to ask for forgiveness. So basically, Unstoppable starts where
Speaker 1: forgiveness ended. And now Unstoppable will be available for purchase
Speaker 1: starting tomorrow, you guys, February eight. It's about how I
Speaker 1: found my strength through love and loss, how you find
Speaker 1: love and then you lose it, And not only that,
Speaker 1: but also my strength after my mom's passing and everything
Speaker 1: that's happened throughout these years since her passing, and not
Speaker 1: only loss of a relationship and loss of my mother,
Speaker 1: but loss of a few Flammy members. So the book
Speaker 1: covers a little bit of everything, even certain things and
Speaker 1: She's miss that aren't necessarily true, and I wanted to
Speaker 1: clear up in this book all to help inspire and
Speaker 1: empower others to hopefully not make the same mistakes I've made,
Speaker 1: and to learn from my mistakes more than anything. So
Speaker 1: that's what Unstoppable is all about, you guys. But before
Speaker 1: I get into some of the book's takeaways, I want
Speaker 1: to take a moment to set the stage a little bit.
Speaker 1: I started writing this book almost three years ago. I
Speaker 1: always knew I wanted to write a second book, and
Speaker 1: a third book and a fourth book. I've had this
Speaker 1: dream of being an author because writing helps me just
Speaker 1: I don't know, heal. You know, it's a form of therapy.
Speaker 1: I've said it so many times that in music are
Speaker 1: just a way of expressing, and it helps me deal
Speaker 1: with everything that I'm going through, you know. So I
Speaker 1: think writing it on a sheet of paper and being
Speaker 1: able to just let it stay there and close the
Speaker 1: book and just move on has been a way of
Speaker 1: getting through everything I've been through. I think a lot
Speaker 1: of people think, Okay, this book is about her divorce,
Speaker 1: and that's what she decided to write a book that's
Speaker 1: absolutely fault you guys. I started writing this book and
Speaker 1: was negotiating everything while him and I actually even before
Speaker 1: we got married, to be honest, we started negotiating, and
Speaker 1: then while him and I after we got we got married,
Speaker 1: then I started writing the book. And the thing is
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be done with this book a
Speaker 1: long time ago, but so many things happened throughout these
Speaker 1: years that I would just be honestly too sad to write,
Speaker 1: and then I wanted to write, and I would write
Speaker 1: too much, and I'm like, okay, wait, I have to
Speaker 1: just really reread this and and stay with this and
Speaker 1: really talk about or think about msbian what I really
Speaker 1: want to express. Before it was called Unstoppable, it was
Speaker 1: gonna be hashtag how to be a Boss B so
Speaker 1: it was so different. We had two other titles for
Speaker 1: the book as well, and then it became Unstoppable. So
Speaker 1: it's been a journey. This book has really helped me
Speaker 1: just cleanse my soul, bring peace to my life. And
Speaker 1: even though the title has changed, and maybe even the concept,
Speaker 1: the like full on concept of the book has changed
Speaker 1: a little bit, it all was always meant to inspire
Speaker 1: and empower because since Forgiveness, so much has happened. I
Speaker 1: have really stepped into my own I have matured, I
Speaker 1: have become a different woman. And now Johnny's older and
Speaker 1: so much has happened even with him. So I explain
Speaker 1: a little bit about everything literally what has happened since
Speaker 1: my book Forgiveness till now. And I think there's gonna
Speaker 1: be more books because that's just how life works. I
Speaker 1: want to write and I want to help and this
Speaker 1: is my way of doing so. Also, why Unstoppable, I
Speaker 1: actually want to talk about the title because you know,
Speaker 1: you hear and stop when you're like and it's not that.
Speaker 1: It's actually all the things that were meant to stop me,
Speaker 1: that were meant to drop me to my knees to
Speaker 1: the point where I was never supposed to get back
Speaker 1: up actually help me become stronger and keep going. And
Speaker 1: you're gonna be able to learn what my quote unquote
Speaker 1: secret is, which isn't really a secret because I shared
Speaker 1: kind of every single day on social media, which is
Speaker 1: my belief in God and the faith that I have
Speaker 1: and my spirituality, how important it is to me. So
Speaker 1: in a lot of interviews they asked me, what's your
Speaker 1: secret checks and I'm like, well, this has been my secret,
Speaker 1: like really just learning to embrace the pain and knowing
Speaker 1: that through these things that I have had to face,
Speaker 1: through this pain, I'm going to come out on the
Speaker 1: other side stronger, and that's what his Honestly, it's made
Speaker 1: me feel unstoppable to the point where it's like I've
Speaker 1: been through some crazy shit, you guys, some crazy ash
Speaker 1: it losing my mom's sexual abuse, my divorce, so many
Speaker 1: things and public scrutiny, and I'm still here and I
Speaker 1: still manage to come out with a smile and not
Speaker 1: be bitter because I feel like when you've gone through
Speaker 1: so much. If you're not intentional in keeping your eye
Speaker 1: and your faith in God or whatever it is that
Speaker 1: you believe in, you become bitter little by little, like
Speaker 1: your essence, that true essence of you, starts fading away.
Speaker 1: And I have always been so intentional of like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be bitter. I'm not gonna be Yes,
Speaker 1: has happened to me, but it's not gonna be like
Speaker 1: why does this always happen to me? Oh my goodness, why? Why? Why? No?
Speaker 1: I that I need to just shake it off and say, Okay,
Speaker 1: what in am I going to learn from this situation?
Speaker 1: This thing is not going to defeat me. I challenge
Speaker 1: myself to be even better than I was before I
Speaker 1: went through this. And it's been a game changer, you guys,
Speaker 1: which is why I'm like, I want to name it
Speaker 1: unstoppable and in Spanish in ben sile because I have
Speaker 1: felt in a way like protected by this crazy force
Speaker 1: that I like to call God, because I put him first.
Speaker 1: And you're going to learn about this in my book.
Speaker 1: Faith and spirituality is a huge thing in the book.
Speaker 1: That's one of the takeaways. It's key. It's number one
Speaker 1: in my life. I don't like to try to see
Speaker 1: how I can fit in my spirituality or God in
Speaker 1: my schedule. No, everything else works around my spirituality. Everything
Speaker 1: else works around God. It's God is in the center,
Speaker 1: and then everything else comes secondary everything everything. Once you
Speaker 1: learn that, guys, it changes your life when you put
Speaker 1: God before your significant other, before your children, before yourself,
Speaker 1: and then yourself comes and then your children and then
Speaker 1: your your significant other or however. But for me, it's God,
Speaker 1: then myself. Then everything comes after. Because if I'm not
Speaker 1: okay and I'm not okay with God, then I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna be able to be okay to do what I
Speaker 1: do and write my books and be inspirational Instagram and
Speaker 1: all these things that I do and get on stage.
Speaker 1: All of that is super important. So that's one of
Speaker 1: the takeaways, okay from this book, you guys, Faith and
Speaker 1: spirituality key. Another takeaway is my struggles, the struggles with
Speaker 1: media and paparazzi and how that can really affect you
Speaker 1: as a human being. You also learned in this book
Speaker 1: that that has a lot to do with why I
Speaker 1: moved and I felt that I needed to be somewhere
Speaker 1: a little safer, where I could feel safe driving into
Speaker 1: my driveway and not having to worry about someone following me.
Speaker 1: And it was a big decision because I really thought
Speaker 1: that the first home I had bought and I was
Speaker 1: going to be there for the rest of my life,
Speaker 1: and I had invested so much in it, and you
Speaker 1: guys are gonna be able to learn as to what
Speaker 1: happened and why and what really drove me to say,
Speaker 1: this is it. I have to move. I felt that
Speaker 1: talking about the struggles that I've had to face with
Speaker 1: the media and paparazzi were necessary because sometimes, well a
Speaker 1: lot of times, they say things that are cruel, things
Speaker 1: that are not true, and you have a huge responsibility
Speaker 1: when you have access to a microphone, when you have
Speaker 1: access to being on television, that's a huge responsibility. And
Speaker 1: I feel like you have to be really careful with
Speaker 1: the things that you say about people's lives because you
Speaker 1: can really hurt them, and that only that exposed them
Speaker 1: to other people hurting them. And I just felt like,
Speaker 1: this is something that I've had to deal with for
Speaker 1: a very long time, and it's not necessarily fair. I mean,
Speaker 1: so many people are like, Okay, well, you know, this
Speaker 1: is the life you decided to to have you know,
Speaker 1: you wanted to be famous, And I'm like, no, that
Speaker 1: that doesn't make it right though. That doesn't make it
Speaker 1: okay for you to say what you want and try
Speaker 1: to cause me harm, not only emotionally but potentially physically,
Speaker 1: because what you're saying is not true. And what if
Speaker 1: someone thinks it like the whole thing with with my mom,
Speaker 1: you know, the whole situation that was horrible back in
Speaker 1: where it's like they say things and I'm like, wait
Speaker 1: a second, get the full story and get both sides
Speaker 1: of the story if you're going to tell a story,
Speaker 1: first of all, because that was scary. It was a
Speaker 1: scary time for me. And for instance, one of the
Speaker 1: things that they said recently and that I talked about
Speaker 1: in the book is is me being unfaithful trying to
Speaker 1: you know? And I said absolutely not. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to allow anyone, especially if it's not true, to say
Speaker 1: that I was being unfaithful and that that's why I
Speaker 1: decided to get separated. I was like, oh, hell no.
Speaker 1: So I talked about that in the book because there's
Speaker 1: a situation that happened in October after my separation with
Speaker 1: my ex that happened and someone came into my life,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to name him because anyways, that's
Speaker 1: a whole other story. But I talked about it in
Speaker 1: the book because I'm like, wait a second, now, I'm
Speaker 1: not I was not unfaithful. If anything, I was very faithful,
Speaker 1: and if there was any signs or any doubts or
Speaker 1: concerns of infidelity, it for sure was not from my side.
Speaker 1: So I talked about all of that in the book.
Speaker 1: So I thought it was necessary to talk about all
Speaker 1: these things with the media because it sucks, dude. I mean,
Speaker 1: they have a great exposure, and yes, it's their job
Speaker 1: and this and that, but it's like, really, you can
Speaker 1: give your story with leaving certain comments out that aren't
Speaker 1: going to affect the person and their image that they've
Speaker 1: worked so hard for. So it's just something that has
Speaker 1: been a huge part of my life since I can remember.
Speaker 1: The media, and like, I'm grateful for them because of
Speaker 1: course they have covered a lot of my things, a
Speaker 1: lot of what I do, and I'm grateful for them,
Speaker 1: but also they hurt my feelings. You know. I feel
Speaker 1: like I have been there and I've given you guys
Speaker 1: interviews and I've done this, and I've done that, and
Speaker 1: I've been available and then you just get a slap
Speaker 1: in the face one day and you're like, what, but
Speaker 1: I've been so cool, Like it's just they're so quick
Speaker 1: to turn on you, and it's just it's so freaking
Speaker 1: sad and it's not okay that, oh, just because you
Speaker 1: decided to be famous gives you the right to talk
Speaker 1: about this or put my address on national television. That's
Speaker 1: freaking absurd, Like, it's it's crazy, you guys. So I
Speaker 1: talked about that. Sorry, I just get really passionate about
Speaker 1: this subject. But you guys will be able to understand
Speaker 1: a little bit more about that and what we've had
Speaker 1: to face and not only me, but a lot of
Speaker 1: my friends in the industry, a lot of other artists
Speaker 1: that I speak to, and how hard it is for us.
Speaker 1: So hopefully you guys can read it and understand a
Speaker 1: little bit more about that for sure. Yeah. Another takeaway
Speaker 1: is my divorce. Yes, guys, again, I was writing this
Speaker 1: book before the divorce happened. Okay, that is something I've
Speaker 1: been wanting to clear up from like forever um And well,
Speaker 1: while I was writing the book, this happened. We got separated,
Speaker 1: and to be honest, we're not even divorced yet. I
Speaker 1: talked about it in the book as well. But the
Speaker 1: reason I'm not divorced, you guys, just I wanted to
Speaker 1: clear that up here. I've heard so many different things,
Speaker 1: but it's not because I'm asking for anything that isn't
Speaker 1: the process. Isn't part of the process of a divorce.
Speaker 1: Some people have taken out of context, like I'm trying
Speaker 1: to get into his finances and all this of it.
Speaker 1: It's not like that, you guys. Anyone that has gotten
Speaker 1: divorce knows that it is part of the process. You
Speaker 1: have to show your finances while you were married. I did.
Speaker 1: He has not been compliant, so I'm waiting. I had
Speaker 1: to set a court date. They gave me the court
Speaker 1: date actually for January nineteenth. They canceled that and moved
Speaker 1: it all the way till April of this year, you guys.
Speaker 1: I cried that day. I was like, dude, one is
Speaker 1: this going to be over? I want to be completely free,
Speaker 1: and I want him to be free, and I want
Speaker 1: him to live his life and I just want to
Speaker 1: really close that chapter in my life and just be
Speaker 1: done with it. Divorce is hard. Whether you're famous or not.
Speaker 1: It's just a very difficult, long, sad process, like you
Speaker 1: have to go through a divorce, especially in California at
Speaker 1: least six months, no less. So during that time, it's
Speaker 1: just so much back and forth. It's so emotionally draining.
Speaker 1: And in my position, I am a public figure and
Speaker 1: so is he. And again, our relationship was so public
Speaker 1: that it was a first relationship I had really had
Speaker 1: really been public about. My relationship with Angel was very private.
Speaker 1: He was a very private and reserved person. He's a
Speaker 1: little bit more out there now, but in his relationship
Speaker 1: he's just likes to keep it that way. And when
Speaker 1: I was with my ex husband, I don't know, we
Speaker 1: were both public figures, and it just I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think we were one of the first to be honest,
Speaker 1: if not the first to really come out and be
Speaker 1: on social media and share our relationship, and it were
Speaker 1: so many people were drawn to us, and I felt
Speaker 1: like it wasn't like I was just in a relationship
Speaker 1: with him. It became I'm in a relationship with him,
Speaker 1: with his family and with all of our fans put together,
Speaker 1: So it was there was a lot of pressure. So
Speaker 1: when we got separated. Of course it was scary, but
Speaker 1: a lot of people didn't know in reality, what was
Speaker 1: really happening behind closed doors, behind the cameras, behind social media,
Speaker 1: as it should be. You know, that's our private life.
Speaker 1: But when we decided to get separated and I tried
Speaker 1: to be very respectful about it and did a post
Speaker 1: and it was very nice and said, you know that
Speaker 1: this is what's happening, it became this fiasco and this
Speaker 1: whole thing. And then when he came out and started
Speaker 1: giving interviews and saying things that weren't true, that's when
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, wait a second, hold on, you
Speaker 1: are not about to try to turn this on me
Speaker 1: and make it seem like all of this is my
Speaker 1: fault because I'm not perfect and I could have done
Speaker 1: things a little different. But ninety eight per cent of
Speaker 1: the reason that we're not together is because of your
Speaker 1: actions and you're out there trying to do interviews. Uh,
Speaker 1: which is probably why now I've decided to go more
Speaker 1: private with my relationships again, because it's too much. Guys.
Speaker 1: It's like, of course I would love to share this
Speaker 1: and share that, but I'm like, wait a second, this relationship,
Speaker 1: my relationships from here and now I want them to
Speaker 1: be a little bit more sacred. A relationship is already difficult.
Speaker 1: It could be difficult. It doesn't have to be difficult,
Speaker 1: but it has its things, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And I just don't need other people to make it
Speaker 1: difficult and their opinions and their judgments, you know. So
Speaker 1: I don't share that much anymore. Because of that situation,
Speaker 1: I kind of left a sour taste in my mouth
Speaker 1: because it was way too public. It was crazy. It
Speaker 1: was like literally La Novella cheek. It was just too much.
Speaker 1: I was just like it was. It was devastating because
Speaker 1: at that time I was still in love with him
Speaker 1: and I was going through my healing process, and it
Speaker 1: was hurting me that we had to come to this
Speaker 1: decision or I had to come to this decision of
Speaker 1: separating also having to deal with my pain and deal
Speaker 1: with all these things that were being set on social
Speaker 1: media that he was enticing by doing interviews and saying
Speaker 1: things that weren't necessarily true or giving half truths, or
Speaker 1: going around the bush and not answering the answer correctly
Speaker 1: or with the truth. Really just kept like left things
Speaker 1: in the air, and doubts started coming out, and that's
Speaker 1: where I was like, oh, wait a second, this is
Speaker 1: too much. But I decided to stay quiet, and I
Speaker 1: decided to just put my heart first and heal that
Speaker 1: and really deal with my heart and right. And that's
Speaker 1: but it was hard, guys, having to stay quiet for
Speaker 1: so long. It was really hard because I never wanted
Speaker 1: to affect him. I never wanted to say certain things
Speaker 1: to make him look bad. I wanted him to have
Speaker 1: the opportunity to go after his dreams, to do what
Speaker 1: he wanted to do. And I didn't want to be
Speaker 1: a reason for someone to say, oh, he didn't make
Speaker 1: it or he wasn't able to do this or accomplish
Speaker 1: this because you affected him his image. So I, even
Speaker 1: through my pain, thought about him. But now it's gotten
Speaker 1: to a point where this is part of my story.
Speaker 1: This book is part of my story, and what I
Speaker 1: write in it is part of what has happened. And
Speaker 1: I am here to inspire and empower and help others
Speaker 1: and the only way I can do that is by
Speaker 1: being truthful. But going back to the book, I talked
Speaker 1: about the divorce. I talked about the separation, what happened,
Speaker 1: why it happened, how our relationship started, everything that happened
Speaker 1: throughout the time. Why why do I talk about it?
Speaker 1: Because my relationship was so public. I shared it. It
Speaker 1: was on my reality show, him and I on our
Speaker 1: social media as we taught we were just a very
Speaker 1: public relationship, a very public couple, and a lot of
Speaker 1: things were said. Here's the thing. If you stay quiet
Speaker 1: and not talk about things that you don't really need
Speaker 1: to talk about in public, then I don't have the
Speaker 1: need to come out and express and also no necessary
Speaker 1: or defend my name. But I have the right to
Speaker 1: come out and speak my truth because I've worked really
Speaker 1: hard to get to this point. I have worked really
Speaker 1: hard to get that stigma of all these labels and
Speaker 1: things that people have tried to put on me since
Speaker 1: the issue with my mom happened. That I'm like, wait
Speaker 1: a second, No, it has been fucking hard, you guys,
Speaker 1: to get to this point, and I'm not gonna let
Speaker 1: anybody just come And there's certain things again, and I
Speaker 1: can't go after everyone that talks trap about me, but
Speaker 1: there are certain things that I'm just like, wait, Aristos,
Speaker 1: and I decided to do it in a book, to
Speaker 1: write it because there aren't any interruptions. There isn't that
Speaker 1: worry about then editing something in their own way. This
Speaker 1: is my way of healing, of again, writing it down,
Speaker 1: expressing it and letting it go, closing that book, that
Speaker 1: chapter of my life, and letting it go. And that's
Speaker 1: why I decided to talk about it here. And I
Speaker 1: wanted to be in detail. I wanted to explain even
Speaker 1: where I went wrong. There's two sides, guys. So I
Speaker 1: also did certain things that I'm not very proud of.
Speaker 1: I will go into this a little more in detail
Speaker 1: in the book. But this book is not just about
Speaker 1: talking about others and clarifying things. It's also about how
Speaker 1: I have grown, how I have matured, what I have learned,
Speaker 1: especially in my relationship you know um or my relationship now,
Speaker 1: but in my relationship then, what I learned and what
Speaker 1: I could have done differently maybe you know, for instance,
Speaker 1: I mean when things got a little heated, I was
Speaker 1: one to defend myself, even if that meant physically I
Speaker 1: and I'll talk about that in the book, and you
Speaker 1: guys will understand that a little more once you read
Speaker 1: it and what happened. And I've told myself I don't
Speaker 1: want to be in that type of relationship. I should
Speaker 1: not have to get to that point. Anybody that brings
Speaker 1: that side out of me probably shouldn't be in my life.
Speaker 1: So I'm not very proud of that, you know, having
Speaker 1: to get physical in a relationship, or even not only physical,
Speaker 1: but also say things that are not nice, and so
Speaker 1: I talk about that. I also talk about other things
Speaker 1: that I feel I did I could have done differently.
Speaker 1: Is is my way of expressing my insecurities. That's a
Speaker 1: huge one, guys. Some sometimes we feel insecure about something
Speaker 1: and then we lash out at the person because we're
Speaker 1: insecure about it. So I know this sounds very vague,
Speaker 1: but I just don't want to say too much because
Speaker 1: I want you guys to read the book. But I
Speaker 1: do talk about things that I could have done different
Speaker 1: that I'm doing different now in my present relationship, and
Speaker 1: it's made a huge difference, you guys, When you make
Speaker 1: small changes and when you both are on the same
Speaker 1: page and you're very vocal and you communicate from the
Speaker 1: very beginning what you expect from your partner and also
Speaker 1: listen to them as to what they expect and what
Speaker 1: they like and don't like, it makes a huge difference,
Speaker 1: So I feel like I've definitely learned my lesson. Another
Speaker 1: takeaway is the loss of my mom. I speak about
Speaker 1: that heavily in my book Forgiveness, but now it's different.
Speaker 1: Now I speak about it in a different way, like
Speaker 1: I have matured emotionally, mentally and in every way that
Speaker 1: it's helped me seeing my mom's passing in a different light,
Speaker 1: and how I can also help others because loss is huge,
Speaker 1: and loss can really definitely and it does change your
Speaker 1: life forever. But how you can flip that to make
Speaker 1: it something sounds weird, but bring something positive out of it.
Speaker 1: And of course I talked about my siblings and Johnny,
Speaker 1: who's about to be twenty one years old. I've had
Speaker 1: to raise him and what it's been like to raise
Speaker 1: him and everything that I've had to deal with. I've
Speaker 1: been a mom, you guys, like a real mother I have.
Speaker 1: I can say I have a twenty one year old
Speaker 1: man because he's a young man, you know. So I
Speaker 1: talked about that. I talked about the situation with Jennico
Speaker 1: and she decided to move out and everything that that
Speaker 1: taught me. Because obviously things have changed since my mom's passing,
Speaker 1: so I've had to step in and really be that
Speaker 1: parent for them, and it hasn't been easy. I've had
Speaker 1: to face a lot of things with Johnny, even with
Speaker 1: his sexuality and stuff. Like he was one time reading.
Speaker 1: I had it on the table and he was I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, I was writing and editing and stuff, and
Speaker 1: he said, can I read this? And I said yeah,
Speaker 1: So I let him read it and I had forgot
Speaker 1: everything that I had written. Of course, that just right,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, boom boo boom, you know, and
Speaker 1: um it was one of the first chapters. And he's
Speaker 1: like wow, and his eyes got watery and I'm like
Speaker 1: what happened? And he's it, I just can't believe that
Speaker 1: I put you through all of this. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, and I'm like I and I'm like, doesn't
Speaker 1: make you feel bad? Like do you want me to
Speaker 1: remove anything? He's like no, because it's the truth. I did.
Speaker 1: I did struggle with this. I did do that. And
Speaker 1: he was eleven years old doing some crazy ship. You
Speaker 1: guys that you guys will learn in this book that
Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I gonna do? And you guys
Speaker 1: will learn who was there to help me and why
Speaker 1: Johnny is so close to my ex It has to
Speaker 1: do with everything that we had to deal with with Johnny.
Speaker 1: You know, it was tough. Eleven, twelve, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen,
Speaker 1: all those years were freaking hard with him, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what am I going to do? And you guys will
Speaker 1: learn everything that I did to try and raise this kid,
Speaker 1: and I can say that I am so proud of
Speaker 1: the job that I've done. I never said I did
Speaker 1: it I did it alone, because I always say my
Speaker 1: mom and I did it. But dude, there were times
Speaker 1: when I thought Johnny might not make it to his
Speaker 1: twenty first birthday because he had a lot of suicidal though.
Speaker 1: You guys, there were times when I had to like
Speaker 1: have him sleep right next to me, and it was
Speaker 1: just it was really tough times and I felt the
Speaker 1: need to share that with you guys as well. Anyways,
Speaker 1: it's just it's getting crazy. But another takeaway before I
Speaker 1: forget is my family. As you guys know, there has
Speaker 1: been a huge falling out and I'll be able to
Speaker 1: explain in my book as well certain things that have
Speaker 1: been said by certain people in my in my life,
Speaker 1: in my family and my extended family that have caused
Speaker 1: this separation, like the beginning of the end is said
Speaker 1: and spoken about in this book written about should I
Speaker 1: say so? I think it's important as well because we
Speaker 1: are a public family, and again, a lot has been
Speaker 1: said and a lot has been misinterpreted and miscommunicated, and
Speaker 1: there's been a lot of misunderstanding around our family. And
Speaker 1: I wanted to take this opportunity to also talk about
Speaker 1: it because it did play a huge part in me
Speaker 1: when I was we were all going through the pandemic
Speaker 1: and when I suffered through depression and anxiety, another topic
Speaker 1: that I talked about in the book. Not only was
Speaker 1: I going through all of that, we were all going
Speaker 1: through that as a whole worldwide, but I was going
Speaker 1: through my separation. And then that's when she got really
Speaker 1: sour with my family was in actually it started in
Speaker 1: and then it just was really bad. So anyways, I
Speaker 1: explained all of that in the book. But another takeaway
Speaker 1: of the book is dealing with my body image and
Speaker 1: learning to embrace my curves and my body. And it's
Speaker 1: something that I've said this before. I said it in
Speaker 1: my Keto book as well, and in Forgiveness. I never
Speaker 1: really thought that I was big or fat. It's when
Speaker 1: I stepped into being on a reality show and then singing.
Speaker 1: Because of the comments of other people, it was like
Speaker 1: this issue like I always knew because a little bit
Speaker 1: thicker than the girls my age that you know at
Speaker 1: school and stuff. But really when I felt like, oh, shoot,
Speaker 1: am I really that fat? Was when I started following
Speaker 1: my dream and the singing and the reality shows and stuff.
Speaker 1: Because when you're on TV, especially when I started, you're
Speaker 1: supposed to be a certain size, supposedly, so I really think,
Speaker 1: and I take pride in I think I was one
Speaker 1: of the first ones to say, hey, I love my body.
Speaker 1: I embraced it. I am cute, I'm gonna be sexy
Speaker 1: whether it makes you uncomfortable or not. But it has
Speaker 1: not been that easy, you guys. It can come off
Speaker 1: as easy, But there are days when I have been
Speaker 1: sad and I'm like, why are people so mean? I
Speaker 1: would never say that about someone, So I talk about
Speaker 1: that in the book because I know there are a
Speaker 1: lot of women like me that maybe are not in
Speaker 1: my position and don't expose themselves the way I expose myself,
Speaker 1: like through everything that I do. But I know that
Speaker 1: you guys, may feel the way I have felt at times,
Speaker 1: and when you look in the mirror and you're not
Speaker 1: as happy as you like to be, and how to
Speaker 1: embrace that and learn to love yourself and really just
Speaker 1: focus on yourself and how you can better yourself without
Speaker 1: comparing yourself to others. When I first started writing the book,
Speaker 1: I wrote everything and anything that came to mind. I
Speaker 1: was like, boom boom boom, wamma talk about all of it, um,
Speaker 1: the good of the bad, of the ugly, the harry,
Speaker 1: all of it. I didn't really care if anyone's feelings
Speaker 1: got hurt, if anyone got bothered or upset. I was
Speaker 1: just writing because I was trying to heal and just
Speaker 1: you know, let it out. And then when I revisited
Speaker 1: everything like a year and a half later, and we
Speaker 1: started a little bit of the editing process, then that's
Speaker 1: when I said, Okay, wait a second, because again, you
Speaker 1: always have to check in with your heart because things change.
Speaker 1: You know, you can be in a moment of anger
Speaker 1: and you're just writing and expressing yourself, which is why
Speaker 1: is another reason I like to write, because you just
Speaker 1: go you have that opportunity to let it out and
Speaker 1: then reread it and say Okay, well that's not very nice.
Speaker 1: So that's kind of what I did. I didn't want
Speaker 1: to change a lot or remove a lot of things,
Speaker 1: but there are certain little things that I decided to
Speaker 1: just leave out for the sake of the person that
Speaker 1: it would it might affect them. I'm a huge believer
Speaker 1: and firm believer in treat people the way you want
Speaker 1: to be treated and act in a way throughout your
Speaker 1: entire life, whether people can see you or not. That's
Speaker 1: where the word integrity comes in. I'm a huge word
Speaker 1: for me, integrity, whether people can see how you act
Speaker 1: with them or not, or what you say behind their back.
Speaker 1: Always speak about people the way you would want to
Speaker 1: be spoken about. So if there's something that you've done
Speaker 1: and you're not proud of, then maybe you shouldn't do it.
Speaker 1: That's why for me, it's like, wait a second, is
Speaker 1: someone ever gonna be able to say that I treated
Speaker 1: them bad, that I did this. Maybe maybe I'm not
Speaker 1: saying I'm perfect, but I try to live my life
Speaker 1: in the way of not ever letting people have that
Speaker 1: on me, to have something negative to say about me.
Speaker 1: So I said that in my first book Forgiveness, like
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm not trying to hurt anybody, but this
Speaker 1: is what happened, and this is what you did, and
Speaker 1: maybe you should think twice about doing it again so
Speaker 1: that someone doesn't write a book about it. So anyways,
Speaker 1: that's kind of what I did with this book. I
Speaker 1: didn't necessarily leave a big chunk of things out. It
Speaker 1: was just little minor things that I said, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: maybe I shouldn't say that because it can get that
Speaker 1: person into trouble, like, for instance, something having to do
Speaker 1: with my aunt Rosie when I won the Latin Grammy,
Speaker 1: I decided to leave out exactly what she had said
Speaker 1: word for word, because it was said in a group
Speaker 1: message and we have it. But I decided to leave
Speaker 1: it out because it wasn't necessarily something that was going
Speaker 1: to be good for her, because it wasn't nice, you know,
Speaker 1: And I decided to just leave out what she said
Speaker 1: and left it just pretty vague. So it's little things
Speaker 1: like that that I decided throughout the editing process to say, Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe we shouldn't leave this in. But other than that, guys,
Speaker 1: it's pretty straight to the point. It's pretty raw, very raw. Actually,
Speaker 1: I think that again, I always say this, the only
Speaker 1: way to change people's lives is to be brutally honest.
Speaker 1: And this book where I'm brutally honest, even about things
Speaker 1: that I'm not necessarily too proud of that I've done. So.
Speaker 1: As I look at my book because I have it
Speaker 1: in my hand right now, it's a hard copy on stop.
Speaker 1: It was a hard copy in Vincy. It is a paperback.
Speaker 1: But anyways, it just makes me feel so proud. I
Speaker 1: remember every single step of writing this book, the moment
Speaker 1: that I spoke to my agent and said I want
Speaker 1: to write a book and this is what it's going
Speaker 1: to be named again completely different from Unstoppable, but anyways,
Speaker 1: just to have it done here after all the edits,
Speaker 1: all the moments of crying, because as you write and
Speaker 1: you're remembering all these things, you're living it again. So
Speaker 1: it was it was tough. There were certain things that
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't even want to talk about that,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, no, I have to. It helped me healed.
Speaker 1: After I would write and I would cry for four
Speaker 1: or five hours, I then felt lighter. I felt like, wow,
Speaker 1: I feel better, Everything's gonna be okay. Gave me hope
Speaker 1: and to have it here now in my hands, and
Speaker 1: it's going to be available for all of you to
Speaker 1: read as of tomorrow. I am just I'm just grateful.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful and I'm happy that I was able to
Speaker 1: do this. And it's crazy because um Emilia was already
Speaker 1: in my life when the book was done, and he's
Speaker 1: actually the person that shot the cover of Unstoppable. A
Speaker 1: lot of people don't know that, but that is the truth. Um.
Speaker 1: I told him what I wanted and what I envisioned.
Speaker 1: I'm very particular about the things that I want, and dude,
Speaker 1: he got it right on and we did it so fast.
Speaker 1: So he took that picture, the cover picture, and also
Speaker 1: my new author pictures, so you guys will be able
Speaker 1: to see that. The funny thing is Emilio took the
Speaker 1: cover picture, but he has not read the book. I
Speaker 1: asked him if he wanted to read it. He's like, no,
Speaker 1: I'll just wait. He actually bought a few, he said,
Speaker 1: so he should be getting them delivered tomorrow. So I
Speaker 1: asked him. He's like, yeah, I'll read it when I'm
Speaker 1: on tour. Because he goes on to Rebecca Gee and
Speaker 1: a few artists, so like when he's on tours like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read it. He started reading Forgiveness and he
Speaker 1: said he couldn't finish it because it was just too much.
Speaker 1: He's like, I can't believe you went through all of that.
Speaker 1: So he said that he's really interested in reading Unstoppable.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I'll keep you guys updated on that
Speaker 1: to see if he really did read it. I'm just excited.
Speaker 1: I'm excited. I feel accomplished. I feel like a huge
Speaker 1: part of my heart and pain that I went through
Speaker 1: and a little bit of a lot anyways, I feel
Speaker 1: like it's it's it's healed a huge chunk of it
Speaker 1: thanks to this book. And mainly, what I want you
Speaker 1: guys to learn while you read this book is how
Speaker 1: you can also find your strength. If I did it,
Speaker 1: if I have been able to do it with everything
Speaker 1: that I've gone through with my mom, with my dad,
Speaker 1: with the family, within my love life, and I've been
Speaker 1: able to come out on the other side stronger. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying I don't have weak moments, because I do.
Speaker 1: There are times when I just want to lay in
Speaker 1: bed and just cry, and I allow myself to do that,
Speaker 1: but I haven't let those moments define who I'm going
Speaker 1: to be in my future. I have not let those
Speaker 1: moments define my destiny. I am a huge believer in
Speaker 1: we control. We create our destiny with the decisions that
Speaker 1: we make on a daily basis. So every day you
Speaker 1: find yourself making choices. Today, I'm either going to go
Speaker 1: down this road or that road, and whatever road I
Speaker 1: choose is definitely playing a part in my destiny. So
Speaker 1: it's it's being very intentional every single day about the
Speaker 1: decisions that we make, how we're going to deal with things,
Speaker 1: and how we have to understand that loss, whether it
Speaker 1: be love or a loved one where they leave, where
Speaker 1: they graduate to heaven, a loss of a job, any
Speaker 1: type of loss, any type of heartbreak, any type of anxiety, abuse,
Speaker 1: any of it, no matter what we've gone through, are
Speaker 1: we going to choose to stay there and feel sorry
Speaker 1: for ourselves and dig deeper into a black, dark hole,
Speaker 1: or are we going to dig ourselves out, focus on
Speaker 1: the light at the end of the tunnel and really
Speaker 1: figure out how we're going to be better. It may
Speaker 1: sound like my brother Mike, you would say, dude, you
Speaker 1: are so like I'm always just so optimistic, But I am.
Speaker 1: I feel like if I'm not, how in the heck
Speaker 1: am I going to get through this life? Like I
Speaker 1: have to be annoyingly optimistic, annoyingly like you know, positive
Speaker 1: quotes and also when I'm having a bad day, efforts
Speaker 1: say it too, you know. But that's my choice. I
Speaker 1: want to be happy. I want to inspire others, and
Speaker 1: this book is just that. I want you guys to
Speaker 1: also feel unstoppable, to also feel invincible in Mensiblay, and
Speaker 1: this is that book that's going to basically give you
Speaker 1: all the things that I've done and that I do
Speaker 1: want a daily basis my routine, because it's important to
Speaker 1: have a routine. That's that's another thing we talked about
Speaker 1: in the book, having routines, being consistent, being determined, disciplined,
Speaker 1: all of those things play a part and being successful
Speaker 1: in anything that you do. So that's what I want
Speaker 1: you guys to get from this book. And I really
Speaker 1: hope and pray because even if it's one person that
Speaker 1: reads the book and feels this way and feels inspired
Speaker 1: and empower or to become the person you are meant
Speaker 1: to be, that to me is just it's like it's
Speaker 1: I am taking a step, a big step, actually towards
Speaker 1: my godly purpose, my mission in life. So yeah, guys,
Speaker 1: that's unstoppable. I hope you all pick it up. I'm
Speaker 1: also going on a book tour. Will have details of
Speaker 1: all of that in my show notes, so don't forget
Speaker 1: to look. And today's motivational Monday quote is straight from
Speaker 1: my book, Okay, straight from Unstoppable. It is get up,
Speaker 1: get out and do something because if you don't, someone
Speaker 1: else will. That's what makes you unstoppable. Guys, thank you
Speaker 1: so much from the bottom of my heart for listening
Speaker 1: to all my episodes here on Cheek Ease and Chill,
Speaker 1: and yes, pick up my book. Have a great week, guys.
Speaker 1: This is a production of My Heart Radio and Michel
Speaker 1: podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at michaela Podcasts and
Speaker 1: follow me cheeks That's c h i q U I s.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from My Heart, visit the I Heart
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