1 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: Losing, my mom's sexual abuse, my divorce, so many things. 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,920 Speaker 1: I talked about the divorce. I talk about the separation, 3 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 1: what happened, why it happened. This book is not just 4 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: about talking about others and clarifying things. It's also about 5 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: how I have grown. Writing helps me just I don't know, heal. 6 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 1: You know, it's a form of therapy. I've said it 7 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: so many times. What up, guys, and welcome to another 8 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,880 Speaker 1: episode of cheek Ease and Chill. I am your host, 9 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: check eas and today is a really exciting episode for me. 10 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 1: It's going to be all about my new book. It's 11 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: called Unstoppable Invincible in Spanish. It's how I found my 12 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: strength through love and loss. We have tons to cover today, 13 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 1: so without further ado, let's get into cheek Ease and Chill. Alrighty, guys, 14 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 1: let's talk about Unstoppable. This is actually the second memoir 15 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:13,320 Speaker 1: I've written. It follows my first book, Forgiveness, which is 16 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: about my journey to forgiveness after suffering sexual abuse at 17 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: the hands of my father. Also, it touches on things 18 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 1: that happened after my mom's passing, people that I had 19 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: to forgive. I had to forgive myself as well. I 20 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:30,680 Speaker 1: had to ask for forgiveness. So basically, Unstoppable starts where 21 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: forgiveness ended. And now Unstoppable will be available for purchase 22 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: starting tomorrow, you guys, February eight. It's about how I 23 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 1: found my strength through love and loss, how you find 24 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: love and then you lose it, And not only that, 25 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:50,279 Speaker 1: but also my strength after my mom's passing and everything 26 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: that's happened throughout these years since her passing, and not 27 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: only loss of a relationship and loss of my mother, 28 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 1: but loss of a few Flammy members. So the book 29 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 1: covers a little bit of everything, even certain things and 30 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: She's miss that aren't necessarily true, and I wanted to 31 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 1: clear up in this book all to help inspire and 32 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:14,080 Speaker 1: empower others to hopefully not make the same mistakes I've made, 33 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 1: and to learn from my mistakes more than anything. So 34 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 1: that's what Unstoppable is all about, you guys. But before 35 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,720 Speaker 1: I get into some of the book's takeaways, I want 36 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,840 Speaker 1: to take a moment to set the stage a little bit. 37 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 1: I started writing this book almost three years ago. I 38 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 1: always knew I wanted to write a second book, and 39 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,760 Speaker 1: a third book and a fourth book. I've had this 40 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:36,639 Speaker 1: dream of being an author because writing helps me just 41 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 1: I don't know, heal. You know, it's a form of therapy. 42 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: I've said it so many times that in music are 43 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:45,240 Speaker 1: just a way of expressing, and it helps me deal 44 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 1: with everything that I'm going through, you know. So I 45 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: think writing it on a sheet of paper and being 46 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: able to just let it stay there and close the 47 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,519 Speaker 1: book and just move on has been a way of 48 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: getting through everything I've been through. I think a lot 49 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 1: of people think, Okay, this book is about her divorce, 50 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: and that's what she decided to write a book that's 51 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 1: absolutely fault you guys. I started writing this book and 52 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: was negotiating everything while him and I actually even before 53 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 1: we got married, to be honest, we started negotiating, and 54 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: then while him and I after we got we got married, 55 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 1: then I started writing the book. And the thing is 56 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: I was supposed to be done with this book a 57 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 1: long time ago, but so many things happened throughout these 58 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:29,480 Speaker 1: years that I would just be honestly too sad to write, 59 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: and then I wanted to write, and I would write 60 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: too much, and I'm like, okay, wait, I have to 61 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 1: just really reread this and and stay with this and 62 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 1: really talk about or think about msbian what I really 63 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:45,160 Speaker 1: want to express. Before it was called Unstoppable, it was 64 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 1: gonna be hashtag how to be a Boss B so 65 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: it was so different. We had two other titles for 66 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: the book as well, and then it became Unstoppable. So 67 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,960 Speaker 1: it's been a journey. This book has really helped me 68 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 1: just cleanse my soul, bring peace to my life. And 69 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: even though the title has changed, and maybe even the concept, 70 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: the like full on concept of the book has changed 71 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: a little bit, it all was always meant to inspire 72 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:17,040 Speaker 1: and empower because since Forgiveness, so much has happened. I 73 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:20,039 Speaker 1: have really stepped into my own I have matured, I 74 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: have become a different woman. And now Johnny's older and 75 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: so much has happened even with him. So I explain 76 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:31,480 Speaker 1: a little bit about everything literally what has happened since 77 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: my book Forgiveness till now. And I think there's gonna 78 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 1: be more books because that's just how life works. I 79 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,600 Speaker 1: want to write and I want to help and this 80 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:44,280 Speaker 1: is my way of doing so. Also, why Unstoppable, I 81 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 1: actually want to talk about the title because you know, 82 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:50,040 Speaker 1: you hear and stop when you're like and it's not that. 83 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: It's actually all the things that were meant to stop me, 84 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 1: that were meant to drop me to my knees to 85 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 1: the point where I was never supposed to get back 86 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:03,599 Speaker 1: up actually help me become stronger and keep going. And 87 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 1: you're gonna be able to learn what my quote unquote 88 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,280 Speaker 1: secret is, which isn't really a secret because I shared 89 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: kind of every single day on social media, which is 90 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: my belief in God and the faith that I have 91 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,279 Speaker 1: and my spirituality, how important it is to me. So 92 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: in a lot of interviews they asked me, what's your 93 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: secret checks and I'm like, well, this has been my secret, 94 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:29,239 Speaker 1: like really just learning to embrace the pain and knowing 95 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: that through these things that I have had to face, 96 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 1: through this pain, I'm going to come out on the 97 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: other side stronger, and that's what his Honestly, it's made 98 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 1: me feel unstoppable to the point where it's like I've 99 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: been through some crazy shit, you guys, some crazy ash 100 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 1: it losing my mom's sexual abuse, my divorce, so many 101 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: things and public scrutiny, and I'm still here and I 102 00:05:55,160 --> 00:06:00,080 Speaker 1: still manage to come out with a smile and not 103 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:03,599 Speaker 1: be bitter because I feel like when you've gone through 104 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: so much. If you're not intentional in keeping your eye 105 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,039 Speaker 1: and your faith in God or whatever it is that 106 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 1: you believe in, you become bitter little by little, like 107 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:16,600 Speaker 1: your essence, that true essence of you, starts fading away. 108 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 1: And I have always been so intentional of like, Okay, 109 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,600 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be bitter. I'm not gonna be Yes, 110 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 1: has happened to me, but it's not gonna be like 111 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 1: why does this always happen to me? Oh my goodness, why? Why? Why? No? 112 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,679 Speaker 1: I that I need to just shake it off and say, Okay, 113 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 1: what in am I going to learn from this situation? 114 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: This thing is not going to defeat me. I challenge 115 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,479 Speaker 1: myself to be even better than I was before I 116 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 1: went through this. And it's been a game changer, you guys, 117 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 1: which is why I'm like, I want to name it 118 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 1: unstoppable and in Spanish in ben sile because I have 119 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,840 Speaker 1: felt in a way like protected by this crazy force 120 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 1: that I like to call God, because I put him first. 121 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,239 Speaker 1: And you're going to learn about this in my book. 122 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 1: Faith and spirituality is a huge thing in the book. 123 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 1: That's one of the takeaways. It's key. It's number one 124 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 1: in my life. I don't like to try to see 125 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,920 Speaker 1: how I can fit in my spirituality or God in 126 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 1: my schedule. No, everything else works around my spirituality. Everything 127 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: else works around God. It's God is in the center, 128 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:19,560 Speaker 1: and then everything else comes secondary everything everything. Once you 129 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: learn that, guys, it changes your life when you put 130 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: God before your significant other, before your children, before yourself, 131 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: and then yourself comes and then your children and then 132 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: your your significant other or however. But for me, it's God, 133 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 1: then myself. Then everything comes after. Because if I'm not 134 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 1: okay and I'm not okay with God, then I'm not 135 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: gonna be able to be okay to do what I 136 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: do and write my books and be inspirational Instagram and 137 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 1: all these things that I do and get on stage. 138 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 1: All of that is super important. So that's one of 139 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 1: the takeaways, okay from this book, you guys, Faith and 140 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: spirituality key. Another takeaway is my struggles, the struggles with 141 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 1: media and paparazzi and how that can really affect you 142 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 1: as a human being. You also learned in this book 143 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 1: that that has a lot to do with why I 144 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: moved and I felt that I needed to be somewhere 145 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:13,240 Speaker 1: a little safer, where I could feel safe driving into 146 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 1: my driveway and not having to worry about someone following me. 147 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 1: And it was a big decision because I really thought 148 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 1: that the first home I had bought and I was 149 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:21,559 Speaker 1: going to be there for the rest of my life, 150 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: and I had invested so much in it, and you 151 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: guys are gonna be able to learn as to what 152 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: happened and why and what really drove me to say, 153 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: this is it. I have to move. I felt that 154 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 1: talking about the struggles that I've had to face with 155 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: the media and paparazzi were necessary because sometimes, well a 156 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: lot of times, they say things that are cruel, things 157 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,679 Speaker 1: that are not true, and you have a huge responsibility 158 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,960 Speaker 1: when you have access to a microphone, when you have 159 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: access to being on television, that's a huge responsibility. And 160 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: I feel like you have to be really careful with 161 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 1: the things that you say about people's lives because you 162 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: can really hurt them, and that only that exposed them 163 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 1: to other people hurting them. And I just felt like, 164 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 1: this is something that I've had to deal with for 165 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:09,679 Speaker 1: a very long time, and it's not necessarily fair. I mean, 166 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 1: so many people are like, Okay, well, you know, this 167 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 1: is the life you decided to to have you know, 168 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: you wanted to be famous, And I'm like, no, that 169 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: that doesn't make it right though. That doesn't make it 170 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: okay for you to say what you want and try 171 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:27,040 Speaker 1: to cause me harm, not only emotionally but potentially physically, 172 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: because what you're saying is not true. And what if 173 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 1: someone thinks it like the whole thing with with my mom, 174 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:37,359 Speaker 1: you know, the whole situation that was horrible back in 175 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 1: where it's like they say things and I'm like, wait 176 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,960 Speaker 1: a second, get the full story and get both sides 177 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,360 Speaker 1: of the story if you're going to tell a story, 178 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,720 Speaker 1: first of all, because that was scary. It was a 179 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:48,560 Speaker 1: scary time for me. And for instance, one of the 180 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 1: things that they said recently and that I talked about 181 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,400 Speaker 1: in the book is is me being unfaithful trying to 182 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:58,320 Speaker 1: you know? And I said absolutely not. I'm not going 183 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 1: to allow anyone, especially if it's not true, to say 184 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,680 Speaker 1: that I was being unfaithful and that that's why I 185 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: decided to get separated. I was like, oh, hell no. 186 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,240 Speaker 1: So I talked about that in the book because there's 187 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: a situation that happened in October after my separation with 188 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 1: my ex that happened and someone came into my life, 189 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 1: and I don't want to name him because anyways, that's 190 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 1: a whole other story. But I talked about it in 191 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: the book because I'm like, wait a second, now, I'm 192 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 1: not I was not unfaithful. If anything, I was very faithful, 193 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: and if there was any signs or any doubts or 194 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 1: concerns of infidelity, it for sure was not from my side. 195 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: So I talked about all of that in the book. 196 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 1: So I thought it was necessary to talk about all 197 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,199 Speaker 1: these things with the media because it sucks, dude. I mean, 198 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: they have a great exposure, and yes, it's their job 199 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:46,839 Speaker 1: and this and that, but it's like, really, you can 200 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 1: give your story with leaving certain comments out that aren't 201 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 1: going to affect the person and their image that they've 202 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 1: worked so hard for. So it's just something that has 203 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 1: been a huge part of my life since I can remember. 204 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: The media, and like, I'm grateful for them because of 205 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 1: course they have covered a lot of my things, a 206 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: lot of what I do, and I'm grateful for them, 207 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 1: but also they hurt my feelings. You know. I feel 208 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 1: like I have been there and I've given you guys 209 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 1: interviews and I've done this, and I've done that, and 210 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 1: I've been available and then you just get a slap 211 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 1: in the face one day and you're like, what, but 212 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 1: I've been so cool, Like it's just they're so quick 213 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,040 Speaker 1: to turn on you, and it's just it's so freaking 214 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:25,240 Speaker 1: sad and it's not okay that, oh, just because you 215 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,920 Speaker 1: decided to be famous gives you the right to talk 216 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 1: about this or put my address on national television. That's 217 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,920 Speaker 1: freaking absurd, Like, it's it's crazy, you guys. So I 218 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 1: talked about that. Sorry, I just get really passionate about 219 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,079 Speaker 1: this subject. But you guys will be able to understand 220 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,960 Speaker 1: a little bit more about that and what we've had 221 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,560 Speaker 1: to face and not only me, but a lot of 222 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,080 Speaker 1: my friends in the industry, a lot of other artists 223 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 1: that I speak to, and how hard it is for us. 224 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,520 Speaker 1: So hopefully you guys can read it and understand a 225 00:11:51,559 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 1: little bit more about that for sure. Yeah. Another takeaway 226 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:05,080 Speaker 1: is my divorce. Yes, guys, again, I was writing this 227 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:08,040 Speaker 1: book before the divorce happened. Okay, that is something I've 228 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:12,200 Speaker 1: been wanting to clear up from like forever um And well, 229 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,319 Speaker 1: while I was writing the book, this happened. We got separated, 230 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,560 Speaker 1: and to be honest, we're not even divorced yet. I 231 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 1: talked about it in the book as well. But the 232 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,559 Speaker 1: reason I'm not divorced, you guys, just I wanted to 233 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:27,199 Speaker 1: clear that up here. I've heard so many different things, 234 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 1: but it's not because I'm asking for anything that isn't 235 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:36,800 Speaker 1: the process. Isn't part of the process of a divorce. 236 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,760 Speaker 1: Some people have taken out of context, like I'm trying 237 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 1: to get into his finances and all this of it. 238 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 1: It's not like that, you guys. Anyone that has gotten 239 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 1: divorce knows that it is part of the process. You 240 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 1: have to show your finances while you were married. I did. 241 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 1: He has not been compliant, so I'm waiting. I had 242 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 1: to set a court date. They gave me the court 243 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 1: date actually for January nineteenth. They canceled that and moved 244 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 1: it all the way till April of this year, you guys. 245 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: I cried that day. I was like, dude, one is 246 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 1: this going to be over? I want to be completely free, 247 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 1: and I want him to be free, and I want 248 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: him to live his life and I just want to 249 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,320 Speaker 1: really close that chapter in my life and just be 250 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:18,360 Speaker 1: done with it. Divorce is hard. Whether you're famous or not. 251 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 1: It's just a very difficult, long, sad process, like you 252 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,080 Speaker 1: have to go through a divorce, especially in California at 253 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:30,160 Speaker 1: least six months, no less. So during that time, it's 254 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:35,079 Speaker 1: just so much back and forth. It's so emotionally draining. 255 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,560 Speaker 1: And in my position, I am a public figure and 256 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,400 Speaker 1: so is he. And again, our relationship was so public 257 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: that it was a first relationship I had really had 258 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:48,040 Speaker 1: really been public about. My relationship with Angel was very private. 259 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,439 Speaker 1: He was a very private and reserved person. He's a 260 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,359 Speaker 1: little bit more out there now, but in his relationship 261 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 1: he's just likes to keep it that way. And when 262 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,120 Speaker 1: I was with my ex husband, I don't know, we 263 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 1: were both public figures, and it just I don't know. 264 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,840 Speaker 1: I think we were one of the first to be honest, 265 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,160 Speaker 1: if not the first to really come out and be 266 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 1: on social media and share our relationship, and it were 267 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,679 Speaker 1: so many people were drawn to us, and I felt 268 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:14,839 Speaker 1: like it wasn't like I was just in a relationship 269 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 1: with him. It became I'm in a relationship with him, 270 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 1: with his family and with all of our fans put together, 271 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 1: So it was there was a lot of pressure. So 272 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 1: when we got separated. Of course it was scary, but 273 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 1: a lot of people didn't know in reality, what was 274 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 1: really happening behind closed doors, behind the cameras, behind social media, 275 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 1: as it should be. You know, that's our private life. 276 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 1: But when we decided to get separated and I tried 277 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 1: to be very respectful about it and did a post 278 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 1: and it was very nice and said, you know that 279 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 1: this is what's happening, it became this fiasco and this 280 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,280 Speaker 1: whole thing. And then when he came out and started 281 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 1: giving interviews and saying things that weren't true, that's when 282 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, wait a second, hold on, you 283 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 1: are not about to try to turn this on me 284 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 1: and make it seem like all of this is my 285 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 1: fault because I'm not perfect and I could have done 286 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: things a little different. But ninety eight per cent of 287 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,080 Speaker 1: the reason that we're not together is because of your 288 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 1: actions and you're out there trying to do interviews. Uh, 289 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:21,000 Speaker 1: which is probably why now I've decided to go more 290 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:25,640 Speaker 1: private with my relationships again, because it's too much. Guys. 291 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,360 Speaker 1: It's like, of course I would love to share this 292 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 1: and share that, but I'm like, wait a second, this relationship, 293 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:32,720 Speaker 1: my relationships from here and now I want them to 294 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 1: be a little bit more sacred. A relationship is already difficult. 295 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 1: It could be difficult. It doesn't have to be difficult, 296 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 1: but it has its things, you know what I mean. 297 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 1: And I just don't need other people to make it 298 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:45,000 Speaker 1: difficult and their opinions and their judgments, you know. So 299 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:47,680 Speaker 1: I don't share that much anymore. Because of that situation, 300 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: I kind of left a sour taste in my mouth 301 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,800 Speaker 1: because it was way too public. It was crazy. It 302 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 1: was like literally La Novella cheek. It was just too much. 303 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: I was just like it was. It was devastating because 304 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 1: at that time I was still in love with him 305 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,200 Speaker 1: and I was going through my healing process, and it 306 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 1: was hurting me that we had to come to this 307 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 1: decision or I had to come to this decision of 308 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 1: separating also having to deal with my pain and deal 309 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 1: with all these things that were being set on social 310 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 1: media that he was enticing by doing interviews and saying 311 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 1: things that weren't necessarily true or giving half truths, or 312 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 1: going around the bush and not answering the answer correctly 313 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 1: or with the truth. Really just kept like left things 314 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 1: in the air, and doubts started coming out, and that's 315 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 1: where I was like, oh, wait a second, this is 316 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: too much. But I decided to stay quiet, and I 317 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 1: decided to just put my heart first and heal that 318 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,600 Speaker 1: and really deal with my heart and right. And that's 319 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,120 Speaker 1: but it was hard, guys, having to stay quiet for 320 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:54,080 Speaker 1: so long. It was really hard because I never wanted 321 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:59,960 Speaker 1: to affect him. I never wanted to say certain things 322 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: to make him look bad. I wanted him to have 323 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: the opportunity to go after his dreams, to do what 324 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,679 Speaker 1: he wanted to do. And I didn't want to be 325 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 1: a reason for someone to say, oh, he didn't make 326 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,400 Speaker 1: it or he wasn't able to do this or accomplish 327 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 1: this because you affected him his image. So I, even 328 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:19,640 Speaker 1: through my pain, thought about him. But now it's gotten 329 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,639 Speaker 1: to a point where this is part of my story. 330 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: This book is part of my story, and what I 331 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,920 Speaker 1: write in it is part of what has happened. And 332 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,199 Speaker 1: I am here to inspire and empower and help others 333 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,680 Speaker 1: and the only way I can do that is by 334 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,400 Speaker 1: being truthful. But going back to the book, I talked 335 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,680 Speaker 1: about the divorce. I talked about the separation, what happened, 336 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 1: why it happened, how our relationship started, everything that happened 337 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,959 Speaker 1: throughout the time. Why why do I talk about it? 338 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,879 Speaker 1: Because my relationship was so public. I shared it. It 339 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,360 Speaker 1: was on my reality show, him and I on our 340 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 1: social media as we taught we were just a very 341 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,960 Speaker 1: public relationship, a very public couple, and a lot of 342 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: things were said. Here's the thing. If you stay quiet 343 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,879 Speaker 1: and not talk about things that you don't really need 344 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 1: to talk about in public, then I don't have the 345 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: need to come out and express and also no necessary 346 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 1: or defend my name. But I have the right to 347 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,720 Speaker 1: come out and speak my truth because I've worked really 348 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,560 Speaker 1: hard to get to this point. I have worked really 349 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:29,960 Speaker 1: hard to get that stigma of all these labels and 350 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: things that people have tried to put on me since 351 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,080 Speaker 1: the issue with my mom happened. That I'm like, wait 352 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:39,159 Speaker 1: a second, No, it has been fucking hard, you guys, 353 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 1: to get to this point, and I'm not gonna let 354 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 1: anybody just come And there's certain things again, and I 355 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,400 Speaker 1: can't go after everyone that talks trap about me, but 356 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: there are certain things that I'm just like, wait, Aristos, 357 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,919 Speaker 1: and I decided to do it in a book, to 358 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 1: write it because there aren't any interruptions. There isn't that 359 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,360 Speaker 1: worry about then editing something in their own way. This 360 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:06,160 Speaker 1: is my way of healing, of again, writing it down, 361 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,520 Speaker 1: expressing it and letting it go, closing that book, that 362 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,360 Speaker 1: chapter of my life, and letting it go. And that's 363 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,159 Speaker 1: why I decided to talk about it here. And I 364 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 1: wanted to be in detail. I wanted to explain even 365 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 1: where I went wrong. There's two sides, guys. So I 366 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,560 Speaker 1: also did certain things that I'm not very proud of. 367 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,959 Speaker 1: I will go into this a little more in detail 368 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,200 Speaker 1: in the book. But this book is not just about 369 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:32,320 Speaker 1: talking about others and clarifying things. It's also about how 370 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 1: I have grown, how I have matured, what I have learned, 371 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:40,800 Speaker 1: especially in my relationship you know um or my relationship now, 372 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:44,240 Speaker 1: but in my relationship then, what I learned and what 373 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:48,359 Speaker 1: I could have done differently maybe you know, for instance, 374 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 1: I mean when things got a little heated, I was 375 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:59,919 Speaker 1: one to defend myself, even if that meant physically I 376 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,119 Speaker 1: and I'll talk about that in the book, and you 377 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,360 Speaker 1: guys will understand that a little more once you read 378 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:08,520 Speaker 1: it and what happened. And I've told myself I don't 379 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:10,720 Speaker 1: want to be in that type of relationship. I should 380 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 1: not have to get to that point. Anybody that brings 381 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,879 Speaker 1: that side out of me probably shouldn't be in my life. 382 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,680 Speaker 1: So I'm not very proud of that, you know, having 383 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,120 Speaker 1: to get physical in a relationship, or even not only physical, 384 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:26,239 Speaker 1: but also say things that are not nice, and so 385 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:30,200 Speaker 1: I talk about that. I also talk about other things 386 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,480 Speaker 1: that I feel I did I could have done differently. 387 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 1: Is is my way of expressing my insecurities. That's a 388 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,919 Speaker 1: huge one, guys. Some sometimes we feel insecure about something 389 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:46,360 Speaker 1: and then we lash out at the person because we're 390 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:49,000 Speaker 1: insecure about it. So I know this sounds very vague, 391 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,320 Speaker 1: but I just don't want to say too much because 392 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,199 Speaker 1: I want you guys to read the book. But I 393 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,760 Speaker 1: do talk about things that I could have done different 394 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,680 Speaker 1: that I'm doing different now in my present relationship, and 395 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,240 Speaker 1: it's made a huge difference, you guys, When you make 396 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,400 Speaker 1: small changes and when you both are on the same 397 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:09,560 Speaker 1: page and you're very vocal and you communicate from the 398 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:13,040 Speaker 1: very beginning what you expect from your partner and also 399 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:14,919 Speaker 1: listen to them as to what they expect and what 400 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,119 Speaker 1: they like and don't like, it makes a huge difference, 401 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:26,760 Speaker 1: So I feel like I've definitely learned my lesson. Another 402 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: takeaway is the loss of my mom. I speak about 403 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:35,520 Speaker 1: that heavily in my book Forgiveness, but now it's different. 404 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 1: Now I speak about it in a different way, like 405 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 1: I have matured emotionally, mentally and in every way that 406 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:47,000 Speaker 1: it's helped me seeing my mom's passing in a different light, 407 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,000 Speaker 1: and how I can also help others because loss is huge, 408 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,880 Speaker 1: and loss can really definitely and it does change your 409 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 1: life forever. But how you can flip that to make 410 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:02,640 Speaker 1: it something sounds weird, but bring something positive out of it. 411 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,920 Speaker 1: And of course I talked about my siblings and Johnny, 412 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,480 Speaker 1: who's about to be twenty one years old. I've had 413 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,600 Speaker 1: to raise him and what it's been like to raise 414 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,160 Speaker 1: him and everything that I've had to deal with. I've 415 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: been a mom, you guys, like a real mother I have. 416 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,320 Speaker 1: I can say I have a twenty one year old 417 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,800 Speaker 1: man because he's a young man, you know. So I 418 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,120 Speaker 1: talked about that. I talked about the situation with Jennico 419 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 1: and she decided to move out and everything that that 420 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 1: taught me. Because obviously things have changed since my mom's passing, 421 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,399 Speaker 1: so I've had to step in and really be that 422 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,240 Speaker 1: parent for them, and it hasn't been easy. I've had 423 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,520 Speaker 1: to face a lot of things with Johnny, even with 424 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 1: his sexuality and stuff. Like he was one time reading. 425 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,040 Speaker 1: I had it on the table and he was I'm like, 426 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 1: you know, I was writing and editing and stuff, and 427 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,600 Speaker 1: he said, can I read this? And I said yeah, 428 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,880 Speaker 1: So I let him read it and I had forgot 429 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: everything that I had written. Of course, that just right, 430 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 1: and I'm just like, boom boo boom, you know, and 431 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,680 Speaker 1: um it was one of the first chapters. And he's 432 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 1: like wow, and his eyes got watery and I'm like 433 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,920 Speaker 1: what happened? And he's it, I just can't believe that 434 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,239 Speaker 1: I put you through all of this. And I'm like, 435 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,119 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, and I'm like I and I'm like, doesn't 436 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:07,679 Speaker 1: make you feel bad? Like do you want me to 437 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:11,040 Speaker 1: remove anything? He's like no, because it's the truth. I did. 438 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,200 Speaker 1: I did struggle with this. I did do that. And 439 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,800 Speaker 1: he was eleven years old doing some crazy ship. You 440 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,159 Speaker 1: guys that you guys will learn in this book that 441 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I gonna do? And you guys 442 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,800 Speaker 1: will learn who was there to help me and why 443 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,320 Speaker 1: Johnny is so close to my ex It has to 444 00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 1: do with everything that we had to deal with with Johnny. 445 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 1: You know, it was tough. Eleven, twelve, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, 446 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:37,679 Speaker 1: all those years were freaking hard with him, and I'm like, 447 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 1: what am I going to do? And you guys will 448 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,360 Speaker 1: learn everything that I did to try and raise this kid, 449 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 1: and I can say that I am so proud of 450 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,480 Speaker 1: the job that I've done. I never said I did 451 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,399 Speaker 1: it I did it alone, because I always say my 452 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,440 Speaker 1: mom and I did it. But dude, there were times 453 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 1: when I thought Johnny might not make it to his 454 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,959 Speaker 1: twenty first birthday because he had a lot of suicidal though. 455 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,399 Speaker 1: You guys, there were times when I had to like 456 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,000 Speaker 1: have him sleep right next to me, and it was 457 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:09,159 Speaker 1: just it was really tough times and I felt the 458 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 1: need to share that with you guys as well. Anyways, 459 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,439 Speaker 1: it's just it's getting crazy. But another takeaway before I 460 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,399 Speaker 1: forget is my family. As you guys know, there has 461 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:22,159 Speaker 1: been a huge falling out and I'll be able to 462 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,720 Speaker 1: explain in my book as well certain things that have 463 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,920 Speaker 1: been said by certain people in my in my life, 464 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,960 Speaker 1: in my family and my extended family that have caused 465 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:36,679 Speaker 1: this separation, like the beginning of the end is said 466 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,560 Speaker 1: and spoken about in this book written about should I 467 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,439 Speaker 1: say so? I think it's important as well because we 468 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,160 Speaker 1: are a public family, and again, a lot has been 469 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 1: said and a lot has been misinterpreted and miscommunicated, and 470 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:52,359 Speaker 1: there's been a lot of misunderstanding around our family. And 471 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: I wanted to take this opportunity to also talk about 472 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,439 Speaker 1: it because it did play a huge part in me 473 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,119 Speaker 1: when I was we were all going through the pandemic 474 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,639 Speaker 1: and when I suffered through depression and anxiety, another topic 475 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 1: that I talked about in the book. Not only was 476 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,400 Speaker 1: I going through all of that, we were all going 477 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,680 Speaker 1: through that as a whole worldwide, but I was going 478 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 1: through my separation. And then that's when she got really 479 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,679 Speaker 1: sour with my family was in actually it started in 480 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,480 Speaker 1: and then it just was really bad. So anyways, I 481 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: explained all of that in the book. But another takeaway 482 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,880 Speaker 1: of the book is dealing with my body image and 483 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 1: learning to embrace my curves and my body. And it's 484 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,480 Speaker 1: something that I've said this before. I said it in 485 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,880 Speaker 1: my Keto book as well, and in Forgiveness. I never 486 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,879 Speaker 1: really thought that I was big or fat. It's when 487 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:43,160 Speaker 1: I stepped into being on a reality show and then singing. 488 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,879 Speaker 1: Because of the comments of other people, it was like 489 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,480 Speaker 1: this issue like I always knew because a little bit 490 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:53,119 Speaker 1: thicker than the girls my age that you know at 491 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,439 Speaker 1: school and stuff. But really when I felt like, oh, shoot, 492 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,959 Speaker 1: am I really that fat? Was when I started following 493 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,879 Speaker 1: my dream and the singing and the reality shows and stuff. 494 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 1: Because when you're on TV, especially when I started, you're 495 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:11,160 Speaker 1: supposed to be a certain size, supposedly, so I really think, 496 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,639 Speaker 1: and I take pride in I think I was one 497 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,720 Speaker 1: of the first ones to say, hey, I love my body. 498 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 1: I embraced it. I am cute, I'm gonna be sexy 499 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,880 Speaker 1: whether it makes you uncomfortable or not. But it has 500 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 1: not been that easy, you guys. It can come off 501 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,439 Speaker 1: as easy, But there are days when I have been 502 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 1: sad and I'm like, why are people so mean? I 503 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,200 Speaker 1: would never say that about someone, So I talk about 504 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 1: that in the book because I know there are a 505 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,919 Speaker 1: lot of women like me that maybe are not in 506 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,719 Speaker 1: my position and don't expose themselves the way I expose myself, 507 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,120 Speaker 1: like through everything that I do. But I know that 508 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 1: you guys, may feel the way I have felt at times, 509 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:46,760 Speaker 1: and when you look in the mirror and you're not 510 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,439 Speaker 1: as happy as you like to be, and how to 511 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:54,280 Speaker 1: embrace that and learn to love yourself and really just 512 00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:58,199 Speaker 1: focus on yourself and how you can better yourself without 513 00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:01,960 Speaker 1: comparing yourself to others. When I first started writing the book, 514 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,439 Speaker 1: I wrote everything and anything that came to mind. I 515 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 1: was like, boom boom boom, wamma talk about all of it, um, 516 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,399 Speaker 1: the good of the bad, of the ugly, the harry, 517 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 1: all of it. I didn't really care if anyone's feelings 518 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:17,439 Speaker 1: got hurt, if anyone got bothered or upset. I was 519 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,199 Speaker 1: just writing because I was trying to heal and just 520 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:24,080 Speaker 1: you know, let it out. And then when I revisited 521 00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:26,520 Speaker 1: everything like a year and a half later, and we 522 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,359 Speaker 1: started a little bit of the editing process, then that's 523 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 1: when I said, Okay, wait a second, because again, you 524 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,800 Speaker 1: always have to check in with your heart because things change. 525 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,359 Speaker 1: You know, you can be in a moment of anger 526 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,720 Speaker 1: and you're just writing and expressing yourself, which is why 527 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 1: is another reason I like to write, because you just 528 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,040 Speaker 1: go you have that opportunity to let it out and 529 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,600 Speaker 1: then reread it and say Okay, well that's not very nice. 530 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 1: So that's kind of what I did. I didn't want 531 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,639 Speaker 1: to change a lot or remove a lot of things, 532 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,720 Speaker 1: but there are certain little things that I decided to 533 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,720 Speaker 1: just leave out for the sake of the person that 534 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,679 Speaker 1: it would it might affect them. I'm a huge believer 535 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,240 Speaker 1: and firm believer in treat people the way you want 536 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:05,200 Speaker 1: to be treated and act in a way throughout your 537 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,920 Speaker 1: entire life, whether people can see you or not. That's 538 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,480 Speaker 1: where the word integrity comes in. I'm a huge word 539 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 1: for me, integrity, whether people can see how you act 540 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:16,240 Speaker 1: with them or not, or what you say behind their back. 541 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,800 Speaker 1: Always speak about people the way you would want to 542 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,399 Speaker 1: be spoken about. So if there's something that you've done 543 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,040 Speaker 1: and you're not proud of, then maybe you shouldn't do it. 544 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,679 Speaker 1: That's why for me, it's like, wait a second, is 545 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,560 Speaker 1: someone ever gonna be able to say that I treated 546 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,320 Speaker 1: them bad, that I did this. Maybe maybe I'm not 547 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,080 Speaker 1: saying I'm perfect, but I try to live my life 548 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 1: in the way of not ever letting people have that 549 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 1: on me, to have something negative to say about me. 550 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,360 Speaker 1: So I said that in my first book Forgiveness, like 551 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,440 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm not trying to hurt anybody, but this 552 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,760 Speaker 1: is what happened, and this is what you did, and 553 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,080 Speaker 1: maybe you should think twice about doing it again so 554 00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,280 Speaker 1: that someone doesn't write a book about it. So anyways, 555 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,480 Speaker 1: that's kind of what I did with this book. I 556 00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:59,280 Speaker 1: didn't necessarily leave a big chunk of things out. It 557 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 1: was just little minor things that I said, Okay, well, 558 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 1: maybe I shouldn't say that because it can get that 559 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 1: person into trouble, like, for instance, something having to do 560 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 1: with my aunt Rosie when I won the Latin Grammy, 561 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:16,800 Speaker 1: I decided to leave out exactly what she had said 562 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,400 Speaker 1: word for word, because it was said in a group 563 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:24,320 Speaker 1: message and we have it. But I decided to leave 564 00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,880 Speaker 1: it out because it wasn't necessarily something that was going 565 00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 1: to be good for her, because it wasn't nice, you know, 566 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 1: And I decided to just leave out what she said 567 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,280 Speaker 1: and left it just pretty vague. So it's little things 568 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 1: like that that I decided throughout the editing process to say, Okay, 569 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,400 Speaker 1: maybe we shouldn't leave this in. But other than that, guys, 570 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:49,040 Speaker 1: it's pretty straight to the point. It's pretty raw, very raw. Actually, 571 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,720 Speaker 1: I think that again, I always say this, the only 572 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,520 Speaker 1: way to change people's lives is to be brutally honest. 573 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,600 Speaker 1: And this book where I'm brutally honest, even about things 574 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:01,200 Speaker 1: that I'm not necessarily too proud of that I've done. So. 575 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 1: As I look at my book because I have it 576 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,040 Speaker 1: in my hand right now, it's a hard copy on stop. 577 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 1: It was a hard copy in Vincy. It is a paperback. 578 00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,520 Speaker 1: But anyways, it just makes me feel so proud. I 579 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:16,720 Speaker 1: remember every single step of writing this book, the moment 580 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 1: that I spoke to my agent and said I want 581 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:20,000 Speaker 1: to write a book and this is what it's going 582 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:23,320 Speaker 1: to be named again completely different from Unstoppable, but anyways, 583 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,480 Speaker 1: just to have it done here after all the edits, 584 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:30,800 Speaker 1: all the moments of crying, because as you write and 585 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 1: you're remembering all these things, you're living it again. So 586 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:35,920 Speaker 1: it was it was tough. There were certain things that 587 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,120 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't even want to talk about that, 588 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,760 Speaker 1: but I'm like, no, I have to. It helped me healed. 589 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:41,720 Speaker 1: After I would write and I would cry for four 590 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:45,480 Speaker 1: or five hours, I then felt lighter. I felt like, wow, 591 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,200 Speaker 1: I feel better, Everything's gonna be okay. Gave me hope 592 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,560 Speaker 1: and to have it here now in my hands, and 593 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,240 Speaker 1: it's going to be available for all of you to 594 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:58,120 Speaker 1: read as of tomorrow. I am just I'm just grateful. 595 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:02,560 Speaker 1: I'm grateful and I'm happy that I was able to 596 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,920 Speaker 1: do this. And it's crazy because um Emilia was already 597 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:09,080 Speaker 1: in my life when the book was done, and he's 598 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 1: actually the person that shot the cover of Unstoppable. A 599 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,160 Speaker 1: lot of people don't know that, but that is the truth. Um. 600 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,200 Speaker 1: I told him what I wanted and what I envisioned. 601 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,720 Speaker 1: I'm very particular about the things that I want, and dude, 602 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,560 Speaker 1: he got it right on and we did it so fast. 603 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,640 Speaker 1: So he took that picture, the cover picture, and also 604 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:27,600 Speaker 1: my new author pictures, so you guys will be able 605 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:30,480 Speaker 1: to see that. The funny thing is Emilio took the 606 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,120 Speaker 1: cover picture, but he has not read the book. I 607 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 1: asked him if he wanted to read it. He's like, no, 608 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,760 Speaker 1: I'll just wait. He actually bought a few, he said, 609 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 1: so he should be getting them delivered tomorrow. So I 610 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,040 Speaker 1: asked him. He's like, yeah, I'll read it when I'm 611 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,360 Speaker 1: on tour. Because he goes on to Rebecca Gee and 612 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:46,960 Speaker 1: a few artists, so like when he's on tours like 613 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna read it. He started reading Forgiveness and he 614 00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,160 Speaker 1: said he couldn't finish it because it was just too much. 615 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:53,720 Speaker 1: He's like, I can't believe you went through all of that. 616 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 1: So he said that he's really interested in reading Unstoppable. 617 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,760 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I'll keep you guys updated on that 618 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,480 Speaker 1: to see if he really did read it. I'm just excited. 619 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:05,160 Speaker 1: I'm excited. I feel accomplished. I feel like a huge 620 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 1: part of my heart and pain that I went through 621 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:13,840 Speaker 1: and a little bit of a lot anyways, I feel 622 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,520 Speaker 1: like it's it's it's healed a huge chunk of it 623 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,320 Speaker 1: thanks to this book. And mainly, what I want you 624 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,880 Speaker 1: guys to learn while you read this book is how 625 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 1: you can also find your strength. If I did it, 626 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:29,680 Speaker 1: if I have been able to do it with everything 627 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 1: that I've gone through with my mom, with my dad, 628 00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 1: with the family, within my love life, and I've been 629 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:40,959 Speaker 1: able to come out on the other side stronger. I'm 630 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,920 Speaker 1: not saying I don't have weak moments, because I do. 631 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,200 Speaker 1: There are times when I just want to lay in 632 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,200 Speaker 1: bed and just cry, and I allow myself to do that, 633 00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:52,320 Speaker 1: but I haven't let those moments define who I'm going 634 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,360 Speaker 1: to be in my future. I have not let those 635 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:58,760 Speaker 1: moments define my destiny. I am a huge believer in 636 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 1: we control. We create our destiny with the decisions that 637 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,840 Speaker 1: we make on a daily basis. So every day you 638 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:10,200 Speaker 1: find yourself making choices. Today, I'm either going to go 639 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,360 Speaker 1: down this road or that road, and whatever road I 640 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:17,160 Speaker 1: choose is definitely playing a part in my destiny. So 641 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 1: it's it's being very intentional every single day about the 642 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 1: decisions that we make, how we're going to deal with things, 643 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:28,760 Speaker 1: and how we have to understand that loss, whether it 644 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,320 Speaker 1: be love or a loved one where they leave, where 645 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:34,200 Speaker 1: they graduate to heaven, a loss of a job, any 646 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:38,240 Speaker 1: type of loss, any type of heartbreak, any type of anxiety, abuse, 647 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,200 Speaker 1: any of it, no matter what we've gone through, are 648 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 1: we going to choose to stay there and feel sorry 649 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,960 Speaker 1: for ourselves and dig deeper into a black, dark hole, 650 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:51,680 Speaker 1: or are we going to dig ourselves out, focus on 651 00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,959 Speaker 1: the light at the end of the tunnel and really 652 00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 1: figure out how we're going to be better. It may 653 00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:59,440 Speaker 1: sound like my brother Mike, you would say, dude, you 654 00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:03,800 Speaker 1: are so like I'm always just so optimistic, But I am. 655 00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:06,200 Speaker 1: I feel like if I'm not, how in the heck 656 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,000 Speaker 1: am I going to get through this life? Like I 657 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:13,200 Speaker 1: have to be annoyingly optimistic, annoyingly like you know, positive 658 00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:16,160 Speaker 1: quotes and also when I'm having a bad day, efforts 659 00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:19,040 Speaker 1: say it too, you know. But that's my choice. I 660 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:23,279 Speaker 1: want to be happy. I want to inspire others, and 661 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,440 Speaker 1: this book is just that. I want you guys to 662 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:31,560 Speaker 1: also feel unstoppable, to also feel invincible in Mensiblay, and 663 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:34,440 Speaker 1: this is that book that's going to basically give you 664 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,440 Speaker 1: all the things that I've done and that I do 665 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,000 Speaker 1: want a daily basis my routine, because it's important to 666 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,160 Speaker 1: have a routine. That's that's another thing we talked about 667 00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:46,120 Speaker 1: in the book, having routines, being consistent, being determined, disciplined, 668 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,080 Speaker 1: all of those things play a part and being successful 669 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,839 Speaker 1: in anything that you do. So that's what I want 670 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,480 Speaker 1: you guys to get from this book. And I really 671 00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,960 Speaker 1: hope and pray because even if it's one person that 672 00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,480 Speaker 1: reads the book and feels this way and feels inspired 673 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,479 Speaker 1: and empower or to become the person you are meant 674 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:09,279 Speaker 1: to be, that to me is just it's like it's 675 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:13,280 Speaker 1: I am taking a step, a big step, actually towards 676 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,200 Speaker 1: my godly purpose, my mission in life. So yeah, guys, 677 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 1: that's unstoppable. I hope you all pick it up. I'm 678 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,960 Speaker 1: also going on a book tour. Will have details of 679 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,200 Speaker 1: all of that in my show notes, so don't forget 680 00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:27,439 Speaker 1: to look. And today's motivational Monday quote is straight from 681 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:31,000 Speaker 1: my book, Okay, straight from Unstoppable. It is get up, 682 00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:34,440 Speaker 1: get out and do something because if you don't, someone 683 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:38,040 Speaker 1: else will. That's what makes you unstoppable. Guys, thank you 684 00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:40,120 Speaker 1: so much from the bottom of my heart for listening 685 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,000 Speaker 1: to all my episodes here on Cheek Ease and Chill, 686 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:47,120 Speaker 1: and yes, pick up my book. Have a great week, guys. 687 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,760 Speaker 1: This is a production of My Heart Radio and Michel 688 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:58,839 Speaker 1: podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at michaela Podcasts and 689 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:02,759 Speaker 1: follow me cheeks That's c h i q U I s. 690 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,720 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from My Heart, visit the I Heart 691 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,839 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your 692 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:17,560 Speaker 1: favorite shows. H