Speaker 1: I am Younger, your host for this journey. I was
Speaker 1: a hopeless love aholic but just could not get my
Speaker 1: love to work. Then, after a series of heartbreaks and
Speaker 1: deep heartache, I finally got clear about what love is
Speaker 1: and what it is not. I want to share some
Speaker 1: of what I've learned about love aholism. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Our Spot, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership with
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. You know, sometimes I wake up in
Speaker 1: the morning and I feel absolutely empowered. I feel divine
Speaker 1: and blissful, and I think that I am the next
Speaker 1: best thing to melt it butter on a pancake. And
Speaker 1: then other days I wake up and I am truly
Speaker 1: the wretched of the earth. I can remember every mistake
Speaker 1: that I've made, every poor decision. I look out into
Speaker 1: the world and I see road kill, and I think
Speaker 1: that's my fault. The rising cost of gas, that's my fault.
Speaker 1: Somebody's kids lost their tooth on the playground, and everything
Speaker 1: is my fault. I don't think I'm alone in this experience.
Speaker 1: But here's the distinction. On those days that I'm down
Speaker 1: on myself, beating up on myself forgetting about all the
Speaker 1: glorious work that I've done to heal myself. On those
Speaker 1: days when I feel like I've totally missed the mark
Speaker 1: and I need to go back and start all over.
Speaker 1: Rather than accepting that to be the truth, I observe
Speaker 1: it and I say, wow, I wonder where that's coming from.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, look at what's up for me today.
Speaker 1: But I'm also aware that there are many of us
Speaker 1: who have those bad days and get stuck in them,
Speaker 1: get stuck in what we haven't done, what we can't do,
Speaker 1: what we don't do, and we use that as a
Speaker 1: bat to beat ourselves down. So if you're one of
Speaker 1: those people that are stuck in a bad day that
Speaker 1: has been going on for sixteen years, I want to
Speaker 1: say this, you can only solve the problem from the
Speaker 1: level from what you're looking at it. If you're down
Speaker 1: on yourself, down in the sub sub sub basement, looking
Speaker 1: at yourself, you can only solve the problem from the
Speaker 1: sub sub basement. If you're in the you know, the
Speaker 1: dungeon of your life looking at yourself, you can only
Speaker 1: solve the problem from the dungeon. And what many of
Speaker 1: us don't understand is those days when you're down there,
Speaker 1: it's simply because there's something coming up that you're ready
Speaker 1: to heal. Now, you don't have to heal it by yourself.
Speaker 1: You don't have to heal it on your own. You
Speaker 1: don't even have to know what it is. But you
Speaker 1: have to know that the dungeon days, the sub sub
Speaker 1: basement days, the beat yourself up with a bad days,
Speaker 1: those are days when something's coming up that needs to
Speaker 1: be healed, and sometimes you need help. My caller today
Speaker 1: has been in the dungeon of the sub basement and
Speaker 1: she's done a great job, but today she's reaching out
Speaker 1: for help. Let's take a greetings, beloved, welcome to the
Speaker 1: R spot. How can I support God assists you today
Speaker 1: as you face your relationship challenge, issue, problem, whatever it is.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Really appreciate, appreciate you're taking time
Speaker 1: to speak with me. Um. The relationship issue is with myself.
Speaker 1: I think I understand that when I don't have a
Speaker 1: relationship that I'm happy with with myself and I pretend
Speaker 1: that outwardly, it always crumbles. And so my relationship problems
Speaker 1: with me tell me how it manifests. Because so very
Speaker 1: often a relationship issue is a relationship with yourself. It
Speaker 1: just shows up with other people. But tell me how
Speaker 1: that shows up in your life. Where do you see it?
Speaker 1: How do you see it? How does it show up?
Speaker 1: It manifests as me being a people pleaser, taking on
Speaker 1: roles where I'm be more forgiving than my inner body
Speaker 1: is really wanting me to to listen to in the
Speaker 1: manifest of me not being able to trust myself as well.
Speaker 1: So I may say yes knowing the answer is no.
Speaker 1: I may want to say something where I I'm not happy,
Speaker 1: and I may withhold that because I want to be
Speaker 1: in trouble and I don't actually feel maybe that I
Speaker 1: have taken up space. Okay, wow, I want you to
Speaker 1: hear this with all of the love and respect, just
Speaker 1: in my listening of what you are sharing. I often
Speaker 1: say to my students that self diagnosis is misdiagnosis because
Speaker 1: you you have diagnosed your problem and come up with
Speaker 1: the solution. You. I don't understand why you're calling me.
Speaker 1: You know you got I'm calling because I know the
Speaker 1: problem is trauma and all of your speaking and your diagnosis,
Speaker 1: I heard you say this, I don't want to be
Speaker 1: in trouble. That's a trauma response. So somewhere in your experience,
Speaker 1: perhaps growing up. It had to be growing up saying
Speaker 1: what you wanted to say or what you needed to say,
Speaker 1: standing up for yourself, asking for what you needed or want.
Speaker 1: It wasn't met with warm and fuzzies. Well there was
Speaker 1: no one to ask a young there was no one there.
Speaker 1: I I My traumas are um sexual traumas and family
Speaker 1: members um absent moms, um absent dad. Both have used
Speaker 1: drugs and so yes, it's trauma, but not not that
Speaker 1: I don't want to get in trouble, but I want
Speaker 1: to find a place where I fit in al though,
Speaker 1: you know, I want to release that guilty and shame
Speaker 1: of not sitting in and I want to be able
Speaker 1: to translate that into me being able to have family,
Speaker 1: village people who want to stick around me despite me
Speaker 1: maybe not having a mom and dad for example, or
Speaker 1: me uh sometimes not always being um able to say no.
Speaker 1: But mostly it's trauma from like not not having anyone
Speaker 1: to ask, And in my attempts to examine that and
Speaker 1: try to put it down, I guess that's stuff like no.
Speaker 1: But I also tried to take on too much like
Speaker 1: I was a victim as a child. You know, I
Speaker 1: should have been nurtured, But that's not a Is that
Speaker 1: a God given right that I'm supposed to be nurtured?
Speaker 1: You know it makes me play that will advocate with myself.
Speaker 1: So let me ask you a question, beloved, thank you
Speaker 1: for your sharing. Where can you imagine? Where do you
Speaker 1: think that the trauma exists within you? Where is it?
Speaker 1: My My heart hurts because I didn't have someone to
Speaker 1: comfort me. In fact, I had someone kind of turning
Speaker 1: the cheek on me. And it hurts my feelings a lot.
Speaker 1: But my heart aches about it because it is reality
Speaker 1: and my mom could only get what she could get.
Speaker 1: And you know, at the end of the day, life
Speaker 1: does happen that way. My heart aches with so your
Speaker 1: heart aches, and then you have the thought that tells
Speaker 1: you why your heart is aching? Is that? Is that?
Speaker 1: Would that be? So? Are you open to the possibility
Speaker 1: that your trauma exists in your mind? Now that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean you don't have a physical or an emotional response
Speaker 1: to it, But are you open to the possibility that
Speaker 1: your trauma exists in your mind? And I do think
Speaker 1: it's in my mind. So are you open to the possibility?
Speaker 1: I want you to hear this from a place of
Speaker 1: loving concern and respect. Are you open to the possibility
Speaker 1: that you are thinking with a trauma to eyes and
Speaker 1: disease mind? Exactly it? Okay, breathe, I want you to
Speaker 1: breathe through that. Tell me, tell me what's happening right now?
Speaker 1: Tell me what's happening. Yeah, it's sad that I know
Speaker 1: this and I can't do anything about it with Wait
Speaker 1: a minute, Wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: wait a minute. Breath. Take a breath, Take a breath.
Speaker 1: Hear me. I want you to hear this. Good. You
Speaker 1: are thinking with a traumatized and a diseased mind. There
Speaker 1: is no way that you can figure this out because
Speaker 1: the same traumatized mind that remembers the trauma is the
Speaker 1: same traumatized mind you're trying to use to get the results.
Speaker 1: So you're diagnosing yourself with a traumatized mind. You're writing
Speaker 1: the prescription with the traumatized mine. You're questioning, judging, challenging
Speaker 1: yourself with a traumatized mind. Can you receive what I
Speaker 1: just said to you? And so what I want you
Speaker 1: to hear me say from a place of loving concern
Speaker 1: and respect is stop it. Just stop it, just stop it.
Speaker 1: That's it. We'll talk about that when we come back.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the our spot. Let's pick up where
Speaker 1: we left off. First of all, your first prescription is,
Speaker 1: I don't care if you're talking to yourself, to your son,
Speaker 1: to anybody. You must speak in ten words of less okay,
Speaker 1: because what happens is you're spinning. You start and then
Speaker 1: you go in and in and in and in. You're
Speaker 1: you're on a hamster. You you're circulating the on the
Speaker 1: thoughts over and over. That's how you escape the trauma. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to stop it. And the way you're going
Speaker 1: to stop your mind from running it shut your mouth.
Speaker 1: Tell me what you hear me saying, because I don't
Speaker 1: want you to. I don't want to hamste in the
Speaker 1: wheel to start spinning. Tell me what you hear me saying.
Speaker 1: You don't have to repeat the words that I said,
Speaker 1: but I want to know what you are hearing me
Speaker 1: say to you. What I'm hearing is that I am
Speaker 1: finding ways to cope with my trauma and so many
Speaker 1: words going in and out of what you know, what
Speaker 1: you feel, and I really just need to be still.
Speaker 1: Stop going down this rabbit hole of trauma. If you
Speaker 1: want to stop it. You got to stop trying to
Speaker 1: escape it. Okay, now that's not what I said, but
Speaker 1: that's what you heard, and that's what I needed to know.
Speaker 1: I needed to hear what you what you were listening to,
Speaker 1: because I sense that you don't hear. You listen to
Speaker 1: what's playing in your mind, and your mind has picked
Speaker 1: up little tidbits of information and and things in your
Speaker 1: quest to try to help yourself. How brilliant are you
Speaker 1: that you said, Okay, I need to do something. Let
Speaker 1: me do something. The challenges the same mind that holds
Speaker 1: the trauma. And we've all been traumatized to some degree
Speaker 1: or another. But it sounds to me like you've got
Speaker 1: a physical imprint and impression of trauma, and emotional imprint
Speaker 1: and impression of trauma, and then the mental imprint and
Speaker 1: impression of trauma, and you're trying to figure out how
Speaker 1: to heal or grow or develop up physically, mentally and emotionally.
Speaker 1: But you're using the same traumatized mind. So what you're doing, beloved,
Speaker 1: is you're re traumatizing yourself. I'm doing this and I
Speaker 1: can't get it done. I get so far and it
Speaker 1: doesn't happen, and I don't trust myself and I and
Speaker 1: you re traumatize in yourself. So here's another possibility for
Speaker 1: you to consider. First, let me make sure that that
Speaker 1: made sense to you. Does that make sense? Because I
Speaker 1: I want to be very mindful that you don't hear
Speaker 1: me saying you're doing it wrong. No, I don't hear
Speaker 1: that I'm doing it wrong. I hear that. That's ten words.
Speaker 1: I don't hear you say I'm doing it wrong. Period.
Speaker 1: Does you're getting ready to get on that train again
Speaker 1: and go into an explanation. No explanation is required ten
Speaker 1: words or less, otherwise you're gonna be on the train,
Speaker 1: riding yourself into your triggers. You terrify yourself. That's what
Speaker 1: it feels like to me, because you're so afraid that
Speaker 1: you're not going to get it and you're not going
Speaker 1: to do it wrong. I don't know if any of
Speaker 1: that lands for you, but that's what it feels like
Speaker 1: to me. Oh, yes, I am. I'm terrified that I'm
Speaker 1: not going to get it right. Um, and I think
Speaker 1: it's because like I thought this long, Uh, I'm terrified
Speaker 1: that I'm not going to get it right. Period. That's
Speaker 1: ten words. You don't need more than that, but I
Speaker 1: want you to be aware of it. This is because
Speaker 1: you've got to start catching this because even if you
Speaker 1: get outside help, you're not going to be with them
Speaker 1: all the time. There's still work that you have to do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you said a very clear statement, I'm terrified that I'm
Speaker 1: not going to get it right now. Attached to that
Speaker 1: thought is a feeling. It's the terror. It maybe the sadness,
Speaker 1: and maybe the shame and maybe the guilt. But there
Speaker 1: are things attached to that feeling. But rather than sit
Speaker 1: and be present with the feeling, you jump right into
Speaker 1: the next thing that justifies and talks about what it
Speaker 1: is that you're feeling. You can't talk about your feelings,
Speaker 1: You've gotta feel him. But what that does is it
Speaker 1: really bypasses the feeling and takes you into the traumatized
Speaker 1: mind that probably retriggers something that you didn't get right
Speaker 1: and suffered for. Is that making sense to you now
Speaker 1: that we know you're thinking with a traumatized mind that
Speaker 1: remembers the trauma. That traumatized mind well use as your
Speaker 1: speaking to re traumatize you. And that's why you're on
Speaker 1: this perpetual circle of never seeming to get to where
Speaker 1: you want to go, because you can only solve the
Speaker 1: problem at the level at which you see it. So
Speaker 1: you see the problem as no parents, not trusting yourself,
Speaker 1: doing this, and not getting that. That's how you see
Speaker 1: the problem, So you can only solve it from that level.
Speaker 1: I want to take you to another level. Here's a level.
Speaker 1: You're trying to parent yourself, but you've never been parented,
Speaker 1: so you don't know how to do it. You're trying
Speaker 1: to parent yourself. You're trying to raise yourself, guide yourself,
Speaker 1: nurture yourself, nourish yourself, protect yourself, teach yourself. You're trying
Speaker 1: to do all of that and it was never done
Speaker 1: for you. So how do you expect to know how
Speaker 1: to do that? I don't know how. I don't know
Speaker 1: what I'm doing the thing I got. But since you
Speaker 1: were never parented, you may not have an appropriate skill
Speaker 1: set to do the parenting. And you have parented your
Speaker 1: son of the best of your ability to give him
Speaker 1: much of what you didn't have. And so when you
Speaker 1: look at a traumatized mind and an empty parenting basket,
Speaker 1: let's say, and the traumatized heart, the fact that you
Speaker 1: would say a relationship issue is with myself. It's the
Speaker 1: way the deceptive intelligence is re traumatizing you. Because if
Speaker 1: I had a uh, if I had a good relationship
Speaker 1: with myself, I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't do that.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be this, and this wouldn't happen. You need
Speaker 1: outside intervention. Tell me what you've heard me say. Doesn't
Speaker 1: matter what the words are. I just want to know
Speaker 1: what you've heard me say. I'm my worst enemy in
Speaker 1: terms of trying to hear my trauma because I'm doing
Speaker 1: it from the trauma of mind and trying to parself
Speaker 1: without parent you know, being parents, said, is not the
Speaker 1: way that I'm going to get the satisfaction that I'm
Speaker 1: looking for in terms of not uh feeling that this
Speaker 1: trauma is impacting you know, my growth. Yeah good, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's much better than the first time what I said.
Speaker 1: So you've got a lot of information that's being processed
Speaker 1: through a disease mind. Traumatized mind not a bad thing,
Speaker 1: but I want you to understand it is unkind and
Speaker 1: unloving to expect yourself to do something that you've never
Speaker 1: been taught how to do. You're trying to heal yourself
Speaker 1: and you've never really even been taught how to hear
Speaker 1: yourself or take care of yourself. So I'm going to
Speaker 1: give you this recommendation and encourage you to really hold
Speaker 1: your feet to the fire when it comes to speaking
Speaker 1: more than ten words. Okay, so tell me what you
Speaker 1: know now that you didn't know when you call me.
Speaker 1: I know that it is not my fault for the
Speaker 1: way that I feel. Period. That's a sentence. Next thought,
Speaker 1: I'm here because I'm ready to change the way that
Speaker 1: I've been feeling. Period. Take a breath. Next thought, I
Speaker 1: have a traumatized mind, and I have to be mindful
Speaker 1: of not letting it be in control. Period. Good. Now,
Speaker 1: take the breath. And I don't want you to say
Speaker 1: you have a traumatized mind, because you have a brilliant mind.
Speaker 1: The distinction is this, not that I have a traumatized mind,
Speaker 1: but that my mind has been traumatized. Period. Yes, if
Speaker 1: I'm not careful, it will control me and retraumatize me. Period.
Speaker 1: Do you hear the difference? Yes, But you've done well.
Speaker 1: Good for you. Thank you, even if in your mind
Speaker 1: you have to say blah blah blah. Period. When you
Speaker 1: find yourself down in six eighty seven words period. I
Speaker 1: remember h m hmmm, or just say let me stop
Speaker 1: right here, m hm, and I want to hear from
Speaker 1: you okay, yes, thank you. Very often we don't realize
Speaker 1: how upset we are with ourselves. We're upset with ourselves
Speaker 1: that we didn't do it right. We're upset with ourselves
Speaker 1: about our bad behavior. We've done so much and things
Speaker 1: are still unfolding as they always have. Well, here is
Speaker 1: something to consider. You cannot clear an upset with the
Speaker 1: object of the upset. So if you are upset with you,
Speaker 1: you are not going to be able to clear that upset.
Speaker 1: Those are the days when you need help. When you're
Speaker 1: in your pattern, you need help. When you're beating yourself up,
Speaker 1: when you need help, and most of all, if you
Speaker 1: are diagnosing yourself, you need help. And my next caller
Speaker 1: is learning all about healing. We'll talk to her when
Speaker 1: we come back. Welcome back to the our spot. I
Speaker 1: am e Yanla, your host for this incredible journey into
Speaker 1: the bowels and the belly and the heart of relationships
Speaker 1: now out. I did a show some time ago with
Speaker 1: a woman named Christie, and the nature of her relationship
Speaker 1: with her son had shifted, but she hadn't, so we
Speaker 1: talked about some of the nuances of parenting an adult child. Well,
Speaker 1: my caller, Christie is checking in, so I want to
Speaker 1: find out from her how things have gone and how
Speaker 1: she's grown and what she's learned. So let's check in
Speaker 1: with Christine. Hey ms, Christie, how are you doing this?
Speaker 1: I'm doing well. How are you? I'm good? I'm good.
Speaker 1: So catch me up. When I last spoke to you,
Speaker 1: you were living with your son as a result of
Speaker 1: some health challenges, and you were wanting to get out
Speaker 1: and you were wanting to resolve some challenges with him.
Speaker 1: So tell me where you are today and what's going on.
Speaker 1: So just no, from the bottom of my heart, every day,
Speaker 1: all day, I thank you for everything that you have done.
Speaker 1: Where am I today? I am in Alabama with my
Speaker 1: UM cousins, an older cousins who I call aunt and
Speaker 1: m her daughter UM. And I realized along the way
Speaker 1: that I made I feel like I made a mistake UM,
Speaker 1: because there was a riff there with my son and
Speaker 1: I for a while, his girlfriend, you know, started having
Speaker 1: feelings or issues about me be my being there and
Speaker 1: had put like a time limit on it and said,
Speaker 1: you know, she wanted me to be in my own Well,
Speaker 1: if I wasn't able to move out by August and
Speaker 1: she would move away, and then they would you know,
Speaker 1: he would move with me and then they would see
Speaker 1: each other whatever. So I didn't want that to be
Speaker 1: the issue. So at the end of the day, I
Speaker 1: just um M. I was scheduled for breast cancer surge.
Speaker 1: The insurance canceled like a few days before that, so
Speaker 1: it was like a few things happened back to back,
Speaker 1: so I ended up moving. Um or I'm sorry, calling
Speaker 1: my cousin to say I just needed to leave Callahassee
Speaker 1: because I didn't, you know, felt like this end was coming.
Speaker 1: Still not employed, can't seem to I always have business ideas.
Speaker 1: I can't seem to get any of those to catch
Speaker 1: or move the motivation along the way. Because there's so
Speaker 1: much going on, I get depressed. So I just decided
Speaker 1: to come to Alabama and came to Alabama to work
Speaker 1: on the medical aspect because I didn't want to have
Speaker 1: half or need my son's girlfriend because he works ten
Speaker 1: hour days to help me through after surgery, especially if
Speaker 1: she doesn't want me to be there. Um. I hate
Speaker 1: being at this point in my life where I'm forty
Speaker 1: five and nowhere to go, and I just feel like I,
Speaker 1: you know, at my at my breaking point. Oh, Mr Christie,
Speaker 1: mm hmm. I hear a lot going on here, but
Speaker 1: where I want to focus, if you are open to it,
Speaker 1: is on this experience of cancer. Yes. I heard you
Speaker 1: say you're having surgery for breast cancer tomorrow. Yes, ma'am
Speaker 1: six am. I decided to do the whole complete mispect
Speaker 1: to me, so I wouldn't have to so I could
Speaker 1: be free. I just see it as like I'm I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm I guess, like burdensome in a bad
Speaker 1: situation and I'm living with this one and that one
Speaker 1: and trying to like get up and I just can't
Speaker 1: get up. It's just the whole thing is one thing.
Speaker 1: I can't really look for it or look for a job,
Speaker 1: but you know, I just it's just just a lot.
Speaker 1: So I just want to be preistances I can be,
Speaker 1: Mr Christie. A job should be the last thing on
Speaker 1: your mind. You are fighting for your life, right, But
Speaker 1: I don't have an income and that's the problem. No,
Speaker 1: that's not the problem. The problem is you think that
Speaker 1: you have to be of the solution, and you don't.
Speaker 1: You're expecting something of yourself right now that is totally impossible. Ms. Christie,
Speaker 1: you are facing the possibility of losing both of your
Speaker 1: breast at six am tomorrow morning. Why are you worried
Speaker 1: about an income? You got to know that God's got
Speaker 1: your back. You've got to know that God's got your
Speaker 1: back and that you will have what you need if
Speaker 1: you stop trying to make it happen. Ms. Christie, Your life,
Speaker 1: your life is more important, even if it's not the
Speaker 1: life you want right now. If you have a life,
Speaker 1: you can build it into what it is you desire.
Speaker 1: But right now, you are fighting a disease body with
Speaker 1: a disease mind. You've got to focus on your healing.
Speaker 1: You've got to focus on recovery. You have to focus
Speaker 1: on that. Yeah, right, And I heard you say that
Speaker 1: you do want to be with your something, but his
Speaker 1: girlfriend doesn't want you there any longer. So when I
Speaker 1: go back now, I went back for one day and
Speaker 1: it was fun, and then I went back for two
Speaker 1: weeks earlier this month, she was gone for a part
Speaker 1: of the time, and um, when she came back. You know,
Speaker 1: we were always cordial, but I can feel I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm able to feel stuff, so I can feel the
Speaker 1: friction and the you know, the dislike which hadn't said
Speaker 1: anything to her or whatever. But I don't I don't know. Well,
Speaker 1: it's a common situation, you know. One of y'all is
Speaker 1: the other woman. Either his heart is with you and
Speaker 1: she's the other woman, or she his heart is with
Speaker 1: her and you're the other woman. So that's normal. It's
Speaker 1: hard to have two queens on the same throne, and
Speaker 1: the throne right now it is your son's heart, and
Speaker 1: that's how it feels. Come here with me, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna hold you. I'm not gonna let you go in
Speaker 1: this process. I want you to say this with me.
Speaker 1: I need help. I need help. The help I need
Speaker 1: is what The help I need is God? Yeah, and
Speaker 1: what else family and support? Help I need is mental health.
Speaker 1: The help I need is somebody to take care of me.
Speaker 1: You're facing the possibility of losing both of your breast tomorrow.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna be able to use your arms. How
Speaker 1: are you gonna feed yourself? I know? And then I'm
Speaker 1: around here, are you with people? Well? Because you're thinking
Speaker 1: the disease mind in a disease body. When the body
Speaker 1: is diseased and you're speaking about the experience of cancer,
Speaker 1: it influences everything, so you can't see correctly, you can't
Speaker 1: hear because you need help. You you need help. Is
Speaker 1: your eighty two year old aunt gonna take care of
Speaker 1: you after the surgery? Mom My cousin is whisky said
Speaker 1: she's gonna do a lot of it. But the point
Speaker 1: was that my aunt would be home, you know, all days,
Speaker 1: so if I needed something, she can like get it
Speaker 1: out the kitchen or bring me some water or things
Speaker 1: like that. But I don't want to depend because you
Speaker 1: need help. You can't you you will be dependent, So
Speaker 1: get that out of your brain. I don't want to
Speaker 1: depend upon. That's a disease thought. That's a disease thought.
Speaker 1: I don't want to depend on. Until you heal, You're
Speaker 1: gonna have to be dependent, So stop not liking it.
Speaker 1: Stop it. You need help. You need help to get
Speaker 1: you through recovery from your surgery. You need help to
Speaker 1: be connected to grace and mercy to give you what
Speaker 1: you need. I want to encourage you to surrender the
Speaker 1: resistance of how it shows up. You need help and
Speaker 1: the job ain't it right? Now? I have Bill I
Speaker 1: know I do too, is worrying about the bill, going
Speaker 1: to get it paid. What's more important, you're healing. But
Speaker 1: I want you to hold this thought because my concern
Speaker 1: is tomorrow morning, at six o'clock, they're gonna put some
Speaker 1: drugs in your body to put you to sleep, and
Speaker 1: they're going to remove, uh, your breast. That's my concern.
Speaker 1: Is your son gonna be there for the surgeon? I
Speaker 1: asked them and I got, uh, you know, wanted my
Speaker 1: granddaughter to have an appointment, so that appointment happened to
Speaker 1: be tomorrow. So I told him to just go ahead
Speaker 1: and take care of her. And he's supposed to come
Speaker 1: this weekend if he can. But you know whatever, So
Speaker 1: I can suspect that you're feeling quite alone right now.
Speaker 1: I do. I was always a people person and always
Speaker 1: the one who's trying to hype everybody up and be
Speaker 1: positive and optimistic, and that has just not been the
Speaker 1: case with me during his journey. So tell me where
Speaker 1: are you and your faith walk and your religious foundation?
Speaker 1: Where do you sit in that? Where what are you
Speaker 1: and your Catholic Baptists? You know nothing? So I say
Speaker 1: it's Christian. But I don't know because I I follow
Speaker 1: your teaching, which is like unity to me, unity teaching. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you done. You then you know about Christ, you
Speaker 1: know about Jesus, you know about the Holy Spirit, you
Speaker 1: know about that God is the greatest. But I understand
Speaker 1: when you say creator and all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: Well you know I talked to a broad audience. I
Speaker 1: want everybody to feel welcome. I don't care if you
Speaker 1: call it Harry, it don't matter to me. I want
Speaker 1: you to holess thought and I want you to say
Speaker 1: it with me, and I want to see if you
Speaker 1: can feel it in your body. God, say that God,
Speaker 1: I surrender myself to you, take care of everything. I
Speaker 1: surrender myself to you, take care of everything. And when
Speaker 1: you pray that prayer, when you speak those words, you've
Speaker 1: got to know that, no matter what it looks like,
Speaker 1: God is taken care of it. Because you're focused in
Speaker 1: your attention has to be on healing your body, and
Speaker 1: that's going to create a major, massive shift in who
Speaker 1: you are as a woman. I know that has to
Speaker 1: be your focus and your priority to heal that, to
Speaker 1: be with that, to observe that, to grow in that
Speaker 1: to sit in that you don't have time to be
Speaker 1: worrying about a job and a storage unit, and you
Speaker 1: haven't made any mistakes. You have not, you haven't. You
Speaker 1: were thinking what a disease? Minds right, grace, give yourself grace.
Speaker 1: I want you to focus on your healing. Ms Christie,
Speaker 1: I thank you so much for calling me back. We
Speaker 1: can't even talk about you and your son because we're
Speaker 1: not even gonna raise that issue. We're gonna focus on
Speaker 1: your healing. Okay, yes, ma'am, Thank you. Ms. Christie, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for your time. There comes a moment
Speaker 1: in our lives when we have to surrender to the
Speaker 1: divine and trust and believe and know that it will
Speaker 1: be taken care of. Because there comes a moment when
Speaker 1: our humanness reaches its limits, but the Divine is always
Speaker 1: there to open us up to greater possibility. Where where
Speaker 1: where in our teaching, our our education, Where in our training,
Speaker 1: our conditioning, our programming as human beings are we taught
Speaker 1: how to move through some of the challenges that we
Speaker 1: face in life. We're not. Ms. Christie is right there. God,
Speaker 1: I surrender myself to you take care of everything. I
Speaker 1: don't know how to do this. I don't know how
Speaker 1: to do this. So Ms Christie can learn how to
Speaker 1: be a better parent to her son when she learns
Speaker 1: how to be a better child to the father. That's
Speaker 1: a lesson that some of us really need to learn.
Speaker 1: I know for myself, I had never been parented at
Speaker 1: the physical level, so I didn't know how to be
Speaker 1: parented by the divine If I was and parented by
Speaker 1: my father, who I could see, my mother, my stepmother,
Speaker 1: my aunt, my uncle who I could see, I had
Speaker 1: no idea how to be parented by my source that
Speaker 1: I couldn't see. So many of us I don't know
Speaker 1: how to parent because we haven't been parented. And if
Speaker 1: we haven't been parented at the physical level, we must
Speaker 1: learn how to be parented by the Divine God. I
Speaker 1: surrender Mrs Christie to you. She doesn't know how to
Speaker 1: do this and I don't know how to help her.
Speaker 1: All I can do is lover and surrender her to you.
Speaker 1: God take care of everything. I hope this has been
Speaker 1: helpful to someone, And if you have a question about
Speaker 1: this or any other relationship issue, you can call me
Speaker 1: live at seven seven five three zero seven seven seven
Speaker 1: and SUCCE eight. Now be sure to follow me on
Speaker 1: social media for all of the calling times and until then,
Speaker 1: stay in peace and not pieces. The R Spot is
Speaker 1: a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, visit the I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
Speaker 1: favorite shows.